


Black is the Soul

by carolelained



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 261,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23013346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: Mulder finds out that Krycek has a nasty side too.(Someone asked me to write a story where Alex was the violent one)
Relationships: Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The story is fully wrote and I'll post it all over the next few days.

16/10/19

Black is the Soul

Book One

Mulder

I was pissed off bigtime now, having Skinner as a boss was a pain in the backside at times. The man could be the most insufferable man I knew, as they put me back on the x files and still question everything I do. My latest case wasn’t going as I planned; however I hadn’t expected the verbal abuse I received from Skinner.

“Sir with all respect…”

“I don’t want to hear anymore Agent Mulder; you were sent out there to deal with a disappearance and nothing more.”

“Why the hell was I sent then? The minute I claim it’s an alien abduction I’m belittled, everyone starts pulling my theory apart along with me.”

“I answer to people higher up the chain Agent Mulder, I do as they say and I’m sorry if it affects you in any way.”

“Like fuck are you sorry, you are just like all the rest, like that cancerous bastard that frequents your office regularly.”

“If I were you I’d watch that mouth of yours, you never did know when to keep it shut did you?”

“Or what Sir, what happens if I don’t sit back and ignore all your bullshit?”

“You will be suspended until further notice.”

I couldn’t take any more of this, I’d had enough of them all including Skinner and Scully. I noticed that Skinner had now stood and was watching me, yeah I was an idiot and it was a stupid move. I hated the way he looked down at me, within seconds I jumped up and raised my fist. The bastard was fast, he’d put me in a headlock and shoved me against the wall.

“Let me go Skinner…”

“Not until you calm down Agent Mulder, believe what you want however we’re on the same side.”

“Like hell we are, just let me go.”

Skinner eased the grip he had on me; he then spoke quietly into my ear.

“I’m going to release you Agent Mulder, fight back and I’ll suspend you without pay for a month.”

I waited until I felt him move away from me, that was when I turned and faced him once more. Like fuck was I having him dictate to me and decide my future.

“Don’t worry about suspending me Sir, I have plenty of leave and plan to use some of it.”

“When do you plan to use it Agent Mulder?”

“I want one month’s leave effective immediately.”

“That can be arranged, look Agent Mulder I didn’t want it to come to this between us.”

“Yeah I didn’t either, however I want a month away from all of you.”

“So, what will you do with yourself for a whole month Agent Mulder?”

“I’m going to go away for a while, try and decide if I even want to come back here afterwards.”

“You are one of my best agents, believe me I don’t want to lose you Agent Mulder.”

“Like I said, I just need some time to myself to deal with everything.”

“Very well, I hope to hear from you after the months over.”

I placed my gun and badge on his desk, I never even had any second thoughts as I turned and left. Now I had to go to the basement and retrieve some belongings, also I had to deal with Scully while I were there. I opened the door and entered, I soon noticed Scully searching through the files for something.

“Hey you’re back, I take it Skinner wasn’t too happy with you?”

“Yeah something like that.”

“You can’t blame him Mulder.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You refuse to accept anything that’s normal, you always have to believe it’s aliens involved in everything.”

“That’s a bit harsh Scully.”

“I think people need to be that way at times with you Mulder, you can behave like a spoilt brat if people disagree.”

“Yeah well I had hard facts, not that you offered to face Skinner with me anyway.”

“Look Mulder, I have my own beliefs…”

“Yeah and I’m well aware of that, you shove them down my throat enough times.”

“Well I’m sorry if you don’t like my opinion, however I have as much right as you to voice what I believe.”

“Good you can make the report and wrap the case up then.”

“Why, where are you going Mulder?”

“Home.”

“What?”

“I’m now on vacation Scully, one whole month to do as I please.”

“What will you do with all that time?”

“Maybe I’ll go away and work out my own life, also I want to work out my future too. Look I don’t even know if I want to come back here, I’ve had enough of all the crap over the years.”

“You don’t mean that Mulder…”

“Actually I do, however the time alone will help me make the final decision.”

“Do you want me to feed your fish while you’re gone?”

“No, the last one died a couple of days ago.”

“I’m sorry Mulder, I mean about everything and not just the fish.”

“I just want to be left alone for a while Scully, oh also I want my key back as you won’t be needing it.”

Scully looked like she was about to cry as she removed the key from her keyring, however I knew this was something that I had to do for myself.

“Thanks Scully.”

“I’d like for us to still remain friends Mulder.”

“You are my friend Scully and you mean the world to me; however this is something that I have to do.”

I grabbed a couple of files and a few other things, once sorted I said goodbye to Scully and left. I made my way down to the underground garage and located my car, I then threw everything onto the passenger seat and got in ready to leave. I must have sat there for a good thirty minutes or so, I had no idea what I’d do now I had so much spare time on my hands.

I finally started the engine and drove home, maybe I might just go away somewhere after all. Not that any of that mattered tonight though, I was far too tired to make any arrangements regarding my month off. Shit and then I was considering leaving the FBI permanently, yet I couldn’t even plan one month alone with all my thoughts.

Okay I admit that I was fucked up at times, my past always seemed to weigh me down too. Maybe a good holiday might do me some good, go somewhere that was warm and just relax for a change. Yeah right, there was no chance of that as I couldn’t let go of things. Could I honestly go away, just relax knowing the likes of Spender would just carry on without me?

In all honesty I had to wonder if anyone at all would miss me, hell maybe they’d all be glad to see the back of me. I made it to my apartment and let myself in, once inside I threw the files down on the couch and removed my jacket. I would have a long shower before doing anything else tonight, afterwards I’d sit down and read the two files I’d brought home with me.

I stripped off and stepped under the warm water, it felt so relaxing and started to ease my tired muscles that I hadn’t relaxed in a long time. It felt that good that I didn’t want to get out, however I soon changed my mind once the water started to cool down. Once out I dried myself off and grabbed some sweatpants, that done I decided to go order a takeaway and read the files for something to do.

Maybe tomorrow I’d look into holidays and going somewhere, I had to do something that would stop the boredom from setting in. I grabbed a tee shirt and started putting it on as I left the bedroom, I’d no sooner entered the room when I heard the safety disengage on a gun. I blinked my eyes so they would adjust to the room that was rather dark, there sat on the couch was one of my main enemies.

“What the fuck do you want Krycek?”

“Is that any way to talk to a friend Mulder?”

“You are far from being any friend of mine Krycek, so why don’t you fuck off back to the sewer you came from.”

Normally we’d argue and I’d end up hitting him, however this time Krycek wasn’t amused by me answering him back. Within seconds he jumped up and slammed me against the wall, shit I even saw stars as my head connected with the hard surface. I was just about to make some witty remark and stopped in my tracks.

I’d never seen Alex Krycek look so out of control before, the man also looked like he hadn’t slept in days either. Krycek still had enough strength to push me down onto the couch, he then threw my own handcuffs at me.

“Cuff yourself Mulder.”

“Like hell I will…”

Shit, suddenly the man back handed me hard enough to split my lip open. I then felt as he pressed the gun against my temple, normally I’d just laugh it off and think nothing of it. I was sure that Krycek wouldn’t shoot me, however I once thought the man was incapable of hitting me too. Yet here I sat with blood dripping from my lip, while my brain was screaming at me to cooperate.

“Last chance Mulder.”

I clicked the cuffs into place and instantly regretted it, for some reason I felt scared of the man in front of me. Now I’d just rendered myself useless, my chances of getting away were getting harder by the minute.

“What do you want from me Krycek?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know…”

“Look you’ll have to tell me sooner or later; I have Scully coming over very soon.”

Suddenly I doubled over as his fist connected with my stomach, I literally had all on not to throw up all over the carpet.

“Don’t ever lie to me again Mulder, that or presume that I’m stupid.”

“I never said you were stupid; shit I only asked a simple question!”

“Okay I’ll be nice then and share with you what I know, you always did want nothing but the truth so here you go.”

“Yeah that’s all I’m asking for.”

“You have taken a month of leave Mulder; you’ve even taken your key back off Scully so you can be alone.”

“Shit how do you know?”

“Believe me I know everything about you, including all those dark secrets you don’t want your friends to know about.”

“I haven’t got a clue as to what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t worry as I’m sure I can help you remember.”

“What? Shit you can’t keep me cuffed like this and will have to let me go.”

“I’ll let you go when I decide and not before.”

“Does your boss know what you’re doing Krycek?”

“Hell it was my boss that ordered it, you see everyone’s getting sick of your interference Mulder.”

“That’s not true.”

“Hey you’re only lying to yourself now, even Skinner and Scully are sick of you as you’re pathetic.”

I sat there and put my head down, maybe the rat bastard was right for once and I had no one. I’d have to face the fact that I deserved to be alone, I’d drove everyone away because of my beliefs.

“What’s up, has the cat got your tongue Mulder? It’ so unlike you not to have some witty comeback, well don’t worry as it won’t matter anymore soon.”

“Are you planning to kill me?”

“Why would I want to do something like that Mulder, we just want you more manageable and not dead.”

“You can’t change who I am, neither can that cancerous fucker you call a boss.”

“Time will tell; however he wants you broken Mulder so that you’ll heel and behave.”

“Fuck you Krycek, I guarantee that you’ll never break me.”

“Think what you want Mulder.”

“I could start screaming right now, I’m sure the other tenants would hear and come to help me.”

“Mulder you’d be dead before they got through that door, also I’ll shoot anyone that tries interfering with this.”

“So what do you plan to do then, or are we going to remain like this all night?”

“No we’re just waiting until it’s dark, then you can start the trip away you promised yourself. However you won’t be alone for a while I’m afraid, oh and also you don’t get a say with regards to the accommodation either.”

“What so you plan on just walking out of here with me, you’ll have to remove the cuffs or people will ask questions.”

“The cuffs remain until we reach our final destination.”

“My neighbours know I’m a federal agent, they’ll know straight away that somethings up.”

“Even feds get arrested if they do something illegal Mulder.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you have a badge to prove who you claim to be?”

“No I gave Skinner it along with my gun.”

“Exactly, so you’re no longer a fed and I’m arresting you on some charge or other.”

“Ha, you can’t prove who you are either.”

“Really…”

I sat and looked on in horror, it was at that moment I realized I was fucked. He’d put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his identification, the bastard still had his badge and identification from when he was a federal agent himself.

“You look a little pale there Mulder.”

“I need to use the bathroom.”

“Fine up on your feet then.”

I didn’t really feel that sick, I wanted to go into the bathroom to retrieve my other gun. When I’d arrived home I’d stripped in the bathroom, I knew I put my gun on the windowsill and it was my only chance of freedom.

I was led towards the bathroom and then entered, however I soon realized that Krycek was still following me. Great I knew I couldn’t get it if he remained in the doorway, I’d have no option but to claim embarrassment at having him stood there.

“Is there any chance I could have some privacy?”

“You have one minute Mulder so don’t try anything.”

I waited until he walked out and then I went for the gun, I was clumsy because of the cuffs restraining my hands together. Finally I managed to grab it between my hands, then it all went wrong when I dropped it into the sink. Krycek knew something was up because of the noise it made, however I had to admit the man moved fast and grabbed me by my hair.

“You stupid fuckin idiot, believe me you’ll pay for that Mulder.”

“Hey, you can’t blame a man for trying…”

Shit suddenly I was punched in the stomach once more and fell to my knees, then I felt the gun press hard against my temple once more.

“Piss me off again Mulder and I’ll pull the trigger, get up now and stand on your feet.”

I decided to remain quiet and do as the man asked, this wasn’t the Alex Krycek that I once knew. I guess he’d got sick of me hitting him and wanted revenge, shit then I had to remember he said it was what his boss wanted.

“We are leaving here right now Mulder, if anyone tries to help you, you’ll have their death on your conscience. Is that what you want Mulder, or are you going to behave until we reach the car?”

“I’ll behave as long as you don’t shoot anyone, can you at least tell me where we’re going?”

“We can talk in the car, as for now just walk and shut the hell up.”

“Fine I get the point, can at least grab some clothes and shoes?”

“You won’t be needing them where you’re going, also I can put the heater on in the car until we get there.”

Great now I had to exit my own building in just sweatpants, once outside night air had set in and the concrete was cold underfoot. For some unknown reason I’d expected Krycek to shove me in the trunk, that was why it surprised me when he opened the passenger door for me.

“Mulder get in the fuckin car; do you want to freeze to death or something?”

“It might be preferable to freeze than leave here with you.”

Suddenly Krycek grabbed my hair and forced me into the car, once inside he used a cable tie to attach the cuffs to the car door. I knew that my chances of escape were getting less by the second, especially when he also decided to blind fold me too. I remained quiet as he slammed the car door shut on me, within seconds I heard him open the driver’s door and get in. The seconds passed without him saying a single word, also he hadn’t even started the car engine.

“Krycek…”

“What now Mulder?”

“What are you doing, I thought we were going somewhere?”

“Patience Mulder, right now I’m just admiring the view.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You don’t realize how much of a turn on you are right now, shame you have to spoil it by opening your mouth.”

“Yeah well you can fuck off and stay away from me.”

Shit suddenly my jaw was in a vice like grip and his mouth was on mine, Krycek was far from gentle as he forced the unwanted kiss on me. To me it felt like I’d die from lack of oxygen, then the bastard stopped and started laughing at me.

“Jesus I’d fuck you right here if I had time, well I guess all good things come to those who wait.”

“You fuckin bastard, shit I can’t believe you just did that to me.”

“Why I don’t see what’s so unbelievable about it, you are a good looking man and such a turn on.”

“Yeah I’m a fuckin man, shit and you’re a fuckin man so leave me the hell alone.”

“So, you’re saying it’s wrong because we’re both men?”

“Yeah amongst other things.”

“Such as?”

“You’re a lying piece of fuckin scum, hell I wouldn’t even touch you if men had interested me.”

“What a lie.”

“Fuck you Krycek, oh shit what the fuck…”

Suddenly Krycek had his hand inside my sweatpants, the bastard was also making my cock rock hard. I struggled to control my breathing and tried to move away from him, that just made him grab my erection even harder.

“Well your body says different Mulder, so what is the truth then?”

“I hate you and want you to leave me alone.”

Shit then I’d made small whimpering sounds as he pulled his hand away, then the bastard just laughed at me once more and started the engine.

“So responsive Mulder, especially considering I’m a man.”

“Shit it’s just a normal reaction.”

“You keep telling yourself that Mulder, however you’re not as straight as you like to make out.”

“What the…”

Shit suddenly my words of anger were silenced as something went over my mouth, within seconds my brain registered that it was duct tape.

“It’s always that mouth Mulder, you always have to piss everyone off every time you open it. Well I guess that’s what got you in trouble in the first place, not that I’m complaining about my assignment though. I assure you though there’s one thing I hate more than anything, that’s when you lie to me Mulder.”

My brain tried to process everything he said to me, shit he hated it when I lied to him! What about all the times the bastard had lied to me, not that I could remember lying to him anyway. Maybe he meant back at my apartment, I had lied and said that Scully would be there soon.

The car became rather silent now along with Krycek, hell and I couldn’t even talk if I wanted to. I never even knew where he was taking me, all I knew was that the drive must have taken over an hour in total. Finally the car pulled over and the engine was switched off, I heard Krycek slam his door and all I could do was wait.

Finally the passenger door opened and Krycek grabbed hold of my hands, then within seconds he cut the cable tie that restrained my hands to the car. I never even had chance to do anything as he grabbed me and pulled me from the car, he then pulled the blind fold away and left the duct tape in place.

I looked around hoping for clues as to where I were, yet nothing at all stood out except for the one building in front of me. From all outward appearances it looked like a night club, hell it even had a fuckin bouncer on the door. I had no idea what Krycek planned or why he brought me here, however I couldn’t see the bouncers letting me in with the attire I wore.

“Come on Mulder walk and do as I say, that or I’ll have to punish you even harder.”

We walked over to the bouncer and I thought they might help; it was as obvious as hell that I wasn’t here willingly or by choice. Well so much for that plan, Krycek walked up to them and shook their hand, all I could do was listen as he spoke to them hoping I might learn something of use.

“Krycek long time no see, what brings you out here tonight? Is it business or pleasure, just asking as he looks your type?”

“Business, however I think I’ll get pleasure out of this job too. Is Steve around at all, it’s just I’m on a schedule that’s all?”

“Yeah he’s in his office.”

“Great thanks, I’ll catch you later Paul.”

“Yeah you do that, oh and make sure you have some fun while you’re here.”

“Oh, believe me I intent to have lots of fun.”

Krycek grabbed hold of me and pulled me into the building, that was when I realized what sort of place this was. It was nothing more than a club for sex, mainly bondage and slaves looking at how the people were dressed. I suddenly felt sick and tried to pull away from Krycek, yet the bastard grabbed my arm hard enough to bruise.

“Calm the fuck down Mulder and behave.”

I couldn’t breathe and started to panic; I even brought my cuffed hands to my mouth so I could remove the tape. That was when Krycek grabbed my hands and yanked them away, then the bastard used plenty of force as he slapped me hard across the face.

“Breathe through your nose Mulder, only I say when that tape comes off. Mulder will you pay attention to me and only me, just block out everything else as none of that will affect you.”

I struggled to control my breathing once more, I had to admit it was easier once we left that room far behind us. We’d walked down a flight of stairs and along a long corridor, there in front of us was just one door that Krycek knocked on. I heard a voice telling him to enter, once more Krycek forced me to follow him without knowing anything.

“It’s good to see you again Steve, I take it you were expecting me?”

“Yeah your boss said you were coming, he also explained how important this is and that you were to be left alone.”

“Yeah that’s right, no one is to interfere until I say I’m finished.”

“Yeah I understand, no one goes down there anymore now anyway.”

“How come?”

“Most have got soft over the years Alexi; they don’t want to play as hard as that room can offer.”

“I can understand that believe me, however this time it’s different as I’m the one doing it.”

“Will he be down there for as long as you were?”

“I doubt it, a couple of weeks should do it.”

“I take it he’s not as strong as you then Alexi?”

“Hey you know me Steve, no way was I going to break without a fight.”

“Yeah I remember your boss saying how hard you were, he also believed he’d never truly broken you either.”

“Well that would be telling, everything will be okay if no one breaks the rules.”

“Well like I said before, no one even goes down there anymore.”

“Is it still useable?”

“Yeah, it’s exactly the same as it was when you last came here.”

I watched as the man handed Krycek a key, so it appeared the bastard had come here in the past and had suffered by the sound of it. I didn’t like the part about breaking me, that or the fact he said I’d be here for a couple of weeks I knew I’d have to keep my head straight if I wanted to get out sooner, and I would take my chances if the opportunity arose.

“Come on Mulder, it’s time to get you settled into your new home.”

I had no choice other than doing as the man said, I was dragged down another flight of stairs and then stood there as Krycek went to open the door. I couldn’t stay here with him and suffer at his hands, I knew we never got on, yet in all the time I’d known him he’d never shown this side of himself. Krycek seemed to be struggling with the key and opening the door, I guess I saw my chance and took it. I charged at him and knocked him to the floor, however the bastard was fast and was back up in seconds.

“You will regret that Mulder; believe me you can’t get out of this building alive without my say so. You go up the stairs alone and they’ll kill you, I’m your only chance of getting out alive and in one piece.”

I knew I’d have to do as he said, yet the minute I entered the room I froze. I couldn’t have moved even if I wanted, now I knew why the regulars here no longer wanted to use this room. It wasn’t a playroom really; it was nothing more than a fancy fuckin torture chamber. There in front of me was what looked like a hospital table, also around the room were shelves filled with various objects that could cause severe pain and suffering.

“Up on the table Mulder.”

I backed away and ended up against the closed door, I knew I was trapped and there was no way out of here. Krycek removed the duct tape and I started screaming as loud as I could, maybe someone here would rescue me from this hell I were in. Suddenly my head banged against the door as Krycek slapped me hard, I felt the pain in both my head and mouth as my lip split open once more.

“Shut the fuck up or the tape goes back on, no one will hear you Mulder so stop screaming and accept what’s going to happen. Oh and just so you know, this room is fully soundproofed and I have the only key to the door.”

“What the hell do you want from me Krycek?”

“For you to get up there and do as your told.”

“What so you can fuckin torture me…”

“Mulder this will happen despite what you say or do.”

“Well no way am I helping you just so you can abuse me, if you want me there, you’ll have to put me there.”

“You stubborn fuckin bastard, it’s just as well I like that side of you Mulder.”

I watched as Krycek pulled his gun out once more, he then hit me across the head with it and I fell to the floor. I felt like I were going to pass out and I had to fight it, I’d be okay if I could get up once more and fight this. That was when the bastard came over to me and grabbed my jaw once more, then he suddenly pressed a cloth against my mouth and nose. Within seconds I knew it was chloroform, however it was too late to stop it taking affect.

I woke to find myself on the table regardless of what I’d said or done, I soon noticed that I was also restrained and wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon. My arms were stretched above my head and restrained there, yet my legs were parted in a V shape and restrained too. There were various chains hanging down from the ceiling, Krycek had pulled my legs in the air and attached them to the chains. Now I was starting to panic even more, I looked how a pregnant woman would look with my legs as they were, I was just thankful that I still wore my sweatpants.

“Wakey wakey Mulder, come on I can see that brain of yours working.”

“What the hell do you want from me Krycek?”

“Okay I’ll let you know Mulder, that way you can stop nagging me about it. Right now this is your home for the foreseeable future, these four walls are all you’ll see and you’ll only have me for company unless you piss me off.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, also what about when I need to use the bathroom or eat?”

“You still don’t get it do you… This isn’t a holiday Mulder, you’re not here to have any form of fun whatsoever. You will only get food if I decide to give it, also there are other ways to deal with your bathroom needs. You are here to suffer until you break, Spender has allowed me to do it and he said there was only one rule and that’s not to kill you.”

“I knew Spender would be behind this and your nothing more than a puppet, how does it feel Krycek, go on tell me you fuckin coward?”

“How does what feel?”

“How does it feel doing this to me, knowing deep down that someone had also done it to you too?”

“Don’t try getting inside my head Mulder, believe me you wouldn’t like what you find. As for me, well it was different when they did it to me.”

“How the fuck could it be any different?”

“I willingly lay on that table; they were my masters and I had to accept punishment for what I did.”

“No one owns you Krycek, so you must be a sad bastard to lay yourself down for them.”

I could see that little frown appear as he thought about what I’d said, for once the man actually looked lost and frightened like he was still there. However that look didn’t last too long and was soon replaced, now I saw nothing but hate and anger etched on his beautiful face. Now I had to wonder if I’d lost it, especially if I were thinking of him as beautiful.

“Nice try Mulder, not that it’ll work as you’re mine for the foreseeable future. I will bend you to my will within no time, you’ll forget all about everything that lies beyond that door.”

“Ha is that what you really think?”

“Just give it time Mulder, first you need to be punished for the lies you’ve told.”

“What lies, shit it was one pathetic lie that’s all. Look I’m sorry that I lied to you about Scully coming over, I just thought you’d leave and that would be the end of it.”

“That’s not the lie I’m talking about Mulder.”

“I never lied about anything else…”

Krycek never answered straight away, the man seemed far more interested with the items on the shelf. Finally he came back over to the table and stood there looking down at me, shit then within seconds he moved fast and was attacking me. Krycek had leant over me and had sank his teeth into my throat, I couldn’t help myself as I screamed. When he finally pulled away I saw the blood on his mouth, shit he was also grinning like a mental patient in an asylum.

I was starting to think the man was truly insane, maybe that’s what Spender had driven him to when he was here. Then within no time his eyes cleared once more, this time it took a few seconds for him to realize where he was and then he spoke.

“That’s for lying to me.”

“Shit what the fuck did I lie about?”

“I kissed you Mulder and you said you hated it, why did you say that?”

“I said it because you’re a man and it wasn’t right.”

“So what are you saying Mulder, that you’re straight and men don’t turn you on?”

“Halleluiah, you finally realized what I meant.”

“Yeah and there you go lying to me again Mulder.”

“I’m not lying.”

Shit suddenly his fingers grabbed my nipple and squeezed hard, he then moved lower and put his hand inside my sweatpants. The man used far more force than necessary as he grabbed my balls, then he moved onto my cock and squeezed it until my eyes watered.

“Please don’t do this, shit it fuckin hurts…”

“Believe me this is nothing Mulder.”

“What the hell do you want from me?”

“Right now, all I want is the truth.”

“I told you the truth.”

“Okay how about I be nice and refresh your memory, you have a large collection of porno tapes Mulder.”

“Yeah I’m well aware of that, it’s no big deal and everyone knows about them.”

“Yeah I’m sure they do, the question is whether they know about the ones hidden under your couch?”

“Oh shit, no you can’t possibly know about them!”

“You seem to have a thing for dark haired men Mulder, you also get off watching as they fuck each other like animals in heat.”

“How…”

“I’ve had cameras in your apartment for a couple of weeks Mulder, don’t worry as I’m the only one that’s seen them.”

“Shit that’s even more reason to worry.”

“When Spender gave me this assignment I thought it would be easy, fuck you and take away all that male pride you held inside. Then I decide to put cameras in your apartment to learn more, imagine my surprise when I realized you’d ruined my plan.”

“What a shame, well you could always just let me go.”

“No chance, it just meant I had to re evaluate everything and plan something else instead.”

“Great so what now?”

“I realized you get off on basic bondage and torture, so I guess that narrowed down my options somewhat. This is not about pleasure Mulder; this is to make you suffer far more than you ever have. So I will torture you, however at times it will be rather extreme, also I plan to degrade you and humiliate you until you’re nothing.”

“You don’t scare me Krycek so just give it your best shot.”

“I intend to so don’t worry; however I’ll keep it simple for tonight as it’s late and I have things to do.”

I never even bothered answering him, I had a feeling that he’d do what he wanted no matter what I said to him. I lay there knowing no one would even miss me for a month or so, not that anyone would find me down here anyway. I watched as Krycek removed some things from the shelves, however at this angle it was hard to see or even get an idea of what he had planned. Soon however he returned to the bed once more, he lay some items at the end of the table and I was still non the wiser as to his actions. It was at that moment I noticed the knife that he held in his hand, great so much for him not scaring me.

“Lay still Mulder, shit that sounds so impersonal when I think about it. Well especially considering how close and personal things are going to be between us, from now on I’m going to call you Fox and you can call me Alex.”

“You insane fuckin bastard, believe me I have plenty more names for you and Alex isn’t even on that list.”

“It wasn’t a request Fox; you will call me that or suffer the consequences.”

“Is this the only way you can get laid Krycek?”

“I said my name’s Alex.”

“Fuck you Krycek…”

Shit I lost all rational thought as he licked my nipple and then held it within his teeth. I could feel as his teeth slowly started to press down against the tender flesh, I knew what he wanted and had to give in or suffer.

“Shit okay, Alex, your name’s Alex…”

I felt relieved as his teeth let go of the tender bud, then the bastard went and grabbed it between his fingers and squeezed. My body would have jumped of the table if it could have, however I was trapped here with a sadistic fuckin lunatic.

“I called you Alex, shit what more do you want from me?”

“Next time you call me it without me telling you to do it, don’t worry Fox as it’ll become habit after a while. Look let’s just make you comfortable for tonight shall we.”

I lay there and watched as he picked the knife up once more, the man had the only garment I wore removed within seconds. At first I was more worried about the knife he held, especially as I felt the cold steel against my leg. Then reality suddenly set in, I was laid here with my backside and groin on full show. Little did I know it was about to get worse, well the bastard did say he planned to humiliate me.

“Please Alex don’t do this… Oh fuck no please stop…”

I felt as his finger forced itself inside my ass, he was far from gentle either as he forced it deeper inside me. I tried to struggle knowing that it was totally futile, yet the bastard just laughed as he rubbed his finger against my prostate.

“You don’t mean that Fox, you know you want me to do this to you.”

“No, I don’t, please I’ll beg if you’ll just stop.”

“Fox it’s one finger that’s all, for tonight I just wanted to see how tight you were. Look I’ve removed it for now, just relax and breathe while I make you comfortable and fit a catheter.”

I gave up trying to reason with the man, the bastard even hummed to himself as he grabbed my penis and inserted the tube. It hurt at first and he knew that, however I wasn’t going to cry out as that was what he wanted.

“There you go Fox, see that wasn’t that bad was it. Now you can sleep without having to worry about relieving yourself, this is just for tonight though, from tomorrow you will be made to hold your bladder for hours, otherwise you will be punished.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to punish me regardless of what I do.”

“Yes I will, however the severity of the punishment will depend on you.”

“Yeah I’m sure I’ll be punished severely for everything regardless…”

“Fox just go to sleep.”

Alex came over and covered my body with a thin sheet, he then kissed my cheek and walked to the door.

“Where are you going, shit you can’t just leave me here like this!”

“Fox I already explained that this is your new home for now, just sleep and I’ll be back in the morning.”

“How the fuck do you expect me to sleep…”

“Look I would try if I were you, because tomorrow you’ll suffer far worse than this as I break you and take you apart piece by piece.”

I could do nothing but lay there and wait, my mind was starting to work overtime and I was actually tired. Yet I thought about tomorrow and what horrors it might bring, I knew I could cope with somethings under normal circumstances. To me though this wasn’t the Alex I knew, also the man had plenty of items within reach to torture me with.

My eyes flew open and I looked at the shelves, I realized closing them would make me feel far better. All I could do was take this as it came and then deal with it, I had to make sure I remained sane and that Alex didn’t break me. Shit I hated myself when I realized what I was doing, I was already referring to the man as Alex and not Krycek anymore.

I decided I’d try and sleep, however it was hard because I was cold and hungry. I realized I’d not ate since lunch, once home and changed I’d planned to call for a takeaway. My stomach rumbled to prove a point, so now I lay here feeling totally miserable and sorry for myself. I was cold and hungry, also my head hurt along with my split lip, oh and I couldn’t forget about my backside and cock either.

Maybe I’d have a chance of freedom if I rested my body, also I had to rest my mind too and stop thinking about what might happen. Finally after so long my eyes started to become really heavy, at that point I knew my mind and body were too tired to function right now and the darkness came.

I woke many times during what I believed to be night; it was hard knowing anything anymore. The room had no windows or even a clock. Also, I’d lost all feeling in my hands and legs now. How the fuck was anyone meant to sleep like this, shit then I started wondering what would happen if Krycek never returned.

I imagined dying down here all alone, I’d pity the first person that ever found me in this state. If anyone walked in it wouldn’t be my face they saw, shit my ass was on full display to anyone who walked through that door. It was at that moment I heard the key and the door open, I guess part of me was relieved he’d actually returned. However, I could also change my mind, especially as the first thing he did was slap my backside hard.

“Come on Fox wake up, it’s time to start your training.”

“Fuck you Krycek, I’m not just some puppy you can order around.”

“Well it looks like you won’t be getting any breakfast this morning, that will be your punishment for swearing and not calling me Alex.”

“Fuck you, you’re nothing but a sadistic fucked up prick.”

“Keep it up and I’ll show you just how sadistic I can be, well I guess we might as well start with your training now breakfast is over.”

“Fuck you, you can’t keep me here without feeding me…”

“You won’t starve anytime soon Fox, maybe if you behave I might still feed you later on. Right now, I need to get you cleaned up and remove the catheter.”

I lay there and refused to look at him as he removed the tube, however I did do some moaning as he deliberately yanked it out. I felt so fucking embarrassed as he even wiped the tip of my cock afterwards, he never said anything at all during it. Then afterwards he grabbed something off the shelf, all I could see was some sort of tubing.

“Well that was easy, let’s see if we can deal with the rest the same way. You might want to relax for this Fox, you wouldn’t want the tube to get stuck or tear your skin.”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“It’s just an enema Fox, I’m sure even you can handle that.”

“What, my worst enemy giving me a fuckin enema?”

“Well I did warn you that I’d humiliate and degrade you Fox, I’m trying to be straight with you as we deal with this.”

I lay there and clenched my ass as tight as I could, it was that I felt something cold and realized it was lube. Well at least that would make it somewhat easier I guess, oh fuck then the bastard went and shoved his finger inside me. I could feel my cock start stirring, then he pressed against my prostate and I was fucked. I kept telling myself it was a natural reaction; it was normal to become erect when someone did that to you.

“Breathe Fox, believe me I’ve only just started with you and plan to be here a few hours today.”

I didn’t have to worry, that part of my anatomy soon deflated and went limp, especially when he started pushing the tube deep inside me. My stomach was empty, yet it still hurt as the warm water was forced inside my ass filling my body. I soon started moaning as the pain became unbearable, at first I was unaware of Alex or what he was doing.

“Five minutes Fox and then I’ll remove it.”

“Shit no, please Alex I can’t wait that long.”

“Yes you can, and you will do it, I just need to sort this table out first.”

I soon realized the table was in two parts, Alex had moved the lower half and now my ass hung over the edge. Oh god and then reality hit me full on, the bastard was going to leave me here and force me to use a bucket.

“Alex please… oh shit it really hurts now…”

“Just a couple more minutes and I’ll remove it.”

I felt sick as my stomach started to cramp up with pain, I hated him more than I thought possible for doing this to me. If I had my gun on me he’d be dead for this alone, one bullet was all it would take to end his fuckin life. The man was like my shadow, always there even when I didn’t want him. Okay if I had to be honest with myself, there was a time that I had wanted him as far more than a work partner. Great way to think, my body started to react to the memories despite my pain.

“What are you thinking about Fox?”

“Ha wouldn’t you like to know…”

“Tell me, that or I’ll leave the tube where it is, I might even force some more water inside you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’d enjoy that, are you sure you really want to know what I was thinking about Alex?”

“Yeah I’d like know considering your body seems to be reacting to it.”

“I was thinking about you and how I’d like to kill you, put a bullet in your sadistic fuckin brain.”

“You can hate me all you want Fox; however, it won’t change the outcome of this. You have the nerve to lay there and call me sadistic, yeah well who’s the one getting off thinking about murder.”

“Maybe it’s because I don’t see you as human, I’d be doing the world a favour if I killed you.”

“Yeah well you’ll never get that chance Fox.”

I was just about to answer him when the pain intensified, shit then the bastard yanked the tube out fast. A wave of pain rushed straight through my body, however once it eased I was left feeling nothing other than humiliation. I lay there and kept my eyes tightly closed, especially as I felt him clean me up afterwards.

I changed my mind and my eyes flew open; I recognized the sound as he put on the latex glove on. Oh god then I felt his finger force its way inside me and move around, however I was surprised when he suddenly pulled it back out.

“Well at least you’re clean now, you never know when I might get the urge to fuck your tight ass Fox.”

“Like fuck are you doing that…”

“Fox you get no say in what I do or don’t do, all you have to do is accept it.”

“Go to hell, I’ll never accept any of this.”

“Whatever, right now I need to turn you over so that you don’t get any bed sores. Also, I’m sure your hands and legs will need to move; it will be rather painful as the blood starts flowing again.”

“Yeah and whose fault would that be?”

“Fox you brought all of this upon yourself, all you had to do was behave and stop pissing Spender off.”

“Yeah right, just walk away and let him do what he wants!”

“Yeah pretty much, it won’t matter once I break you Fox.”

“You always were so sure of yourself Alex.”

Alex just ignored me as he cleaned up and put the table back together, once done he moved towards me once more. All I could do was watch as he freed my arms, well that was until the blood started flowing again. I couldn’t remain quiet no matter what, the pain was agonizing as the feeling started to return in both of my arms.

“Try moving them Fox, that way the pain will soon go.”

“I fuckin hate you…”

“I’m sure that right now you do or think that you do.”

“Oh believe me when I say I hate you, I fuckin do hate you!”

Alex came really close and started rubbing my arms for me, my brain started working overtime and the chance of a possible escape. I still moaned even when all the feelings started to return, then I used my other hand and grabbed hold of his hair to pull him down.

Part of me wanted to hurt him so much, yet this close I could smell the unique scent of the man and it hurt so much. At first I couldn’t understand why it bothered me so much, then my brain decided to remind me of the fact I’d always wanted him. This man was evil and I had to accept that fact, he wasn’t the same Alex that I’d fallen in love with so long ago.

“Fox let go.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes you can, otherwise I’ll hurt you far worse than you could imagine.”

“So fuckin do it then, it’s not as if I have anything to lose.”

“Fox I really don’t want to hurt you yet, it’s way too soon to start that kind of training.”

“You fuckin bastard, you’re an immoral scum sucking… oh fuck.”

I felt Alex move his head slightly, then before I knew it he had my nipple between his sharp teeth. It was a natural reaction to let go of him as he sank his teeth into the tender flesh, all I could do was scream from the agonizing pain that ripped through my chest.

“Next time do as I say, that way it will be far less painful Fox.”

“You’re a fuckin animal, you’re a sick twisted…”

Shit the bastard grabbed hold of the same nipple and squeezed it tight, I had all on to remain quiet as he did it. My throat was already sore from all the screaming I’d done, also I had no idea when I last drank anything.

“What the hell did you think you’d achieve Fox? You wouldn’t even be able to get the restrains off your legs, also you wouldn’t even make it out of this building alive?”

“I hate you…”

“Look you need me Fox, without me you’ll die alone in this room.”

“I wouldn’t care if you were dead too.”

“Fox just shut the fuck up, that or I’ll fuckin gag you.”

I remained quiet as he released my legs, then the bastard turned me over while I was unable to fight him. My legs now hurt as the blood flowed, however this time I couldn’t even move to deal with it. Now I was face down and my hands were cuffed once more, the bastard had then attached them to a clip at the top of the table.

Finally the feeling was starting to come back in my legs, however Alex soon restrained them before it fully happened. Yeah coward that he was, he could only move me when I was most vulnerable to him. He forced me to kneel up on the table and it worried me, it felt to much like I was a lover and waiting for him to doggy me.

I never had a choice though, especially once he restrained my ankles to the sides of the table. I was now forced to remain here in this position, which was already proving to be uncomfortable after just a minute. This position forced me to remain knelt and my ass on full display, also it would keep my legs wide apart so I was far more vulnerable than I liked.

Fuck then the bastard went and slapped my backside a couple of times, then all I could do was lay here and watch as he removed his belt. I couldn’t decide what scared me the most, the man forcing himself on me and raping me, or him beating me with it.

It didn’t take long for Alex to show me his intentions, the leather belt came down fast and hard and my tender flesh. That was when I really started screaming, Alex never stopped until he’d hit me over a dozen times. I knew that my body wouldn’t take many more, I already knew that the skin was now broken and soon I would also be broken too.

The screams finally turned to sobs, shit I were a grown man and sobbing like a fuckin baby. At some point I tried to block it all out and prayed I’d survive; however I could see Alex and what he was doing. The bastard was casually undressing like I was his lover or something, hell I wasn’t even a willing partner in any of this.

Shit then I felt him kneel up on the table behind me, then the bastard grabbed my backside. Alex was far from gentle as he squeezed the tender flesh that he’d abused, right now my ass felt like it was on fire. I tried so hard to communicate with him and beg him to stop, it was proving hard as the sobs wracked my body.

“What is it Fox, what do you want?”

“Please…”

“Please what?”

“Please don’t do this to me…”

“Fox you have to accept that this is going to happen, nothing you say or do will stop it from happening.”

“Why do this?”

“I have many reasons Fox.”

“Such as?”

“Well because I can’s one of the reasons, also because I want to do it. I also did explain that you need training Fox and to learn your place.”

“I hate you so much and wish you were dead.”

“You need me Fox, deep down you always have. Maybe you should be honest with yourself, learn the truth about yourself instead of looking elsewhere.”

“Well I’ve learnt the truth about you.”

“Really, don’t kid yourself Fox.”

“You’re a fuckin bastard, nothing more than a sadistic fuckin rapist.”

“You know me so well after all, maybe there’s something else you’d like to know too.”

“What would that be?”

“This can be a lesson for you, as a punishment I’m going to forgo using anything to make it easier for you.”

I never answered as his words sank in, I tried so hard to make my body compliant and relax. Nothing at all was working, chances are he’d end up causing me a lot of pain before this ended. Well that or something else, knowing my luck he’d tear me open. Well that was a great way to think, now my body was anything but relaxed.

Shit I jumped as something entered my ass, that was painful enough and it was only his finger. Soon though he removed it, then I felt something large trying to gain entry. I felt Alex pull away and breathed once more, I wasn’t prepared for the way he slammed his erection deep inside me in one go.

I screamed and felt like I’d been split in two, the man was far from small and the pain was agonizing as he repeated the action over and over. After a couple of minutes he started to slow down a bit, it was then that I realized just what his plans were. The bastard was deliberately hitting my prostate over and over again, then he put his hand under me and grabbed my cock.

Alex knew exactly what he was doing, despite the pain and humiliation he made me hard. The bastard was trying to make me enjoy my own fuckin rape, worse though was the fact he was doing a good job at it. Now I hated my own traitorous body and how it reacted, I also still hated that traitorous raping bastard too.

“Come for me Fox.”

“Go to hell.”

“You know it’s what you want, also it might be your last chance for a long time.”

“I don’t give a shit; all I want is for you to stop.”

“I’ll stop when I come and not before.”

I tried so hard to block him out without success; the man had practically destroyed me in less than twenty four hours. He’d changed everything that I was, how the hell do I go back to the man I was before all of this. To have everyone look at me with disgust and hate, either that or pity which was far worse.

Suddenly I was pulled back to reality as Alex screamed out, however right then I also screamed along with him. I screamed at the thought of what I’d become, also at the disgust I felt knowing part of him was left inside me. Shit I was finally going mad, ha maybe I was already mad and this is just a nightmare.

“Fox shut the fuck up, it’s over with for now so you can stop screaming now.”

“It’ll never be over for me now, how can it be after what you’ve done?”

“You’re far stronger than you think Fox, if I let you go now you’d move on and get over this. That’s why I have to keep you here for now, I have to make sure you never forget what happens so you won’t repeat your mistakes.”

“Once, I actually believed that you did respect me in one way or another. You never hit me, despite I hurt you so much.”

“Yeah well that was the old Alex, things change Fox and so do people.”

“Yeah so I’ve noticed.”

“Fox don’t get confused about what will happen here, I want you to show me respect and for you to need me to make you feel safe. I don’t like you, so don’t ever think this is a form of love or anything like that. To be honest, I see you as weak and pathetic, however I have to work with what I’ve got no matter how useless you are.”

I couldn’t even bring myself to answer him now, his words had hurt far more than I expected. To know that he has so much bottled up hate for me, yet I’m here at his mercy and would suffer his cruel hate.

“I’ll get you cleaned up and then I’ll go and get some food, I can’t have you dying on me.”

I lay there as he applied cream to the open wounds, I never felt much as my mind had wandered off once more. For some reason I was afraid to be left here alone, all I wanted was for someone to hold me and tell me it would be okay.

“Fox are you even listening to me?”

“What?”

“I said I’m going to move the restraints for a few minutes, you’re weak and no match for me so behave. If you fight me I’ll punish you, however I don’t think your backside could survive my belt so soon.”

“I won’t fight you.”

“Good you’re learning already.”

Alex soon had all the restraints removed; however, my body was in agony now and I could hardly move at all. I sobbed as the feelings started to return to all of my limbs at once, then I cried because Alex stroked my hair and tried to calm me down. It wasn’t physical pain, yet the emotional pain was far more draining on me. The man had always been a good actor right from day one, so I guess it was easy to pretend he cared about me.

“Fox lay on your side for a while, that way I only have to restrain one wrist to the table.”

I did as he said, this time my wrist was restrained with a wide leather strap. I couldn’t help myself as I laughed out loud. The table no longer reminded me of something in a maternity hospital, it was more like something you’d find in a mental hospital.

“Fox are you okay?”

“Yeah life’s a bed of fuckin roses…”

“Look just rest until I return, you have to realize that I’m the only person that can stop Spender touching you.”

“I’ll try and behave, it’s hard now I know how much you hate me. You’re just like the lesser of two evils, it’s either you or that cancerous bastard.”

“I see you can still think straight Fox, maybe you should think about your situation while you can.”

With that Alex walked out of the door and was gone, all I could do was curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. Later I woke and was freezing, oh and I were also starving and alone too. I just lay there and decided to have a full look at the room I was trapped in, I could see all the various items that Alex could torture me with if he felt like it, maybe I could do as he said and it wouldn’t come to that.

I now lay here thinking about Alex Krycek, I had to wonder what had happened to make him hate me so much. He’d gone from a man that never fought back or ever hit me to this, someone who now wanted to cause me nothing but suffering and pain. I hated myself right now, I’d always thought I were the strong one and not him.

In just two days Alex Krycek had turned my life upside down, part of me knew I’d never be the same again even if I did survive this. The man had abused me so much in such a short time, could Spender really give an order like that? To tell Alex he could do with me as he saw fit, the same man that was possibly my father.

I swear here and now that Spender will suffer if I get out of here, he was nothing more than a black lunged old man. So, what did that make Alex then? The man appeared to follow Spender regardless of his own suffering, Alex I decided had a black soul. They do say that a black soul is easily led astray, however I wasn’t willing to follow him into this madness that he’d started.

I guess I’d just bide my time and hope I survived, right now I should be worried only about the here and now. Well especially as I could hear the key and then the door open, shit then my stomach rumbled as the smell of food was overpowering.

“Hey, I hope you’re hungry Fox?”

I gave Alex the silent treatment, I had a sudden thought and realized I no longer wanted to eat. It’s funny how humiliation can outweigh the need to eat and survive, to suffer the hunger pains rather than a few minutes of ridicule.

“Fox, I asked you a question.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Fox why lie to me; you’ve had nothing to eat since you got here.”

“Yeah and who’s fault is that?”

“Ha I’ve just realized what’s wrong and why you don’t want to eat, you’re scared I’ll humiliate you when I give you another enema.”

“Go to hell…”

“I’ve already been there Fox, how about I give you two choices?”

“What sort of choices?”

“You can eat what I’ve brought for you without complaint, also there will be an enema involved later. That, or you can starve yourself Fox, and then I’ll still give you an enema and whip you every hour…”

“Fine I’ll eat, however I still fuckin hate you.”

“I know that you think that right now.”

“Shit I don’t just think it Alex, I fuckin know it!”

“Fox shut up and eat.”

Alex passed me a burger and fries, great fuckin greasy junk food that would go straight through me. I watched Alex as I ate the food, I had to wonder how someone so good looking could be like him. In the end I had to look away from him, and I tried to concentrate on the food and nothing more. I could hear my stomach making funny noises and I nearly choked on the food, Alex was on his feet in seconds.

“Just cough it up Fox, I’ll get you something to drink so the food goes down easier.”

Alex soon returned with a takeaway cup and straw, I was actually surprised when I realized it was chocolate milkshake and not water. It was cold and that helped my throat somewhat, well at least I managed to eat all the food. Now though I suddenly felt really sick and my stomach hurt even more, I struggled hard to keep the food down and not lose the food I so much needed.

I noticed that Alex was sat back on the only chair in the room, he also seemed to find my predicament highly amusing. I lay back down and refused to look at him as he laughed, however I could no longer avoid him when he knelt before me.

“Fox calm down and relax, stop fighting everything and just give in to it all.”

“Like fuck will I just lay down and give in…”

“You still don’t get it do you?”

“Get what?”

“You no longer have a choice Fox, everything that happens to you in this room is my choice and mine alone.”

“Yeah right, is this what Spender ordered you to do to me Alex?”

“Not exactly, he just ordered me to rough you up a bit so you’d behave.”

“So, all of this is you and you alone, oh shit now I really feel sick.”

“Lay down then and behave yourself.”

I saw red, how could this man honestly expect me to take this torture. It was at that moment I realized my predicament, right now I was only restrained with one wrist. I clenched my other hand into a tight fist, I also realized knelt like this made him an easy target. I took my fist and moved fast, within seconds it connected with his jaw.

“You fuckin bastard, believe you me you will pay for that Fox.”

“Ha no change there then, how about you untie me Alex and fight like a man?”

“Is that what you really want Fox?”

“Yeah if you’re man enough.”

I was surprised when he came back to the table, ha and even more surprised when he removed the restraints. I couldn’t help but notice his lip was bleeding from the punch I gave him, maybe I might be able to get a couple more in before this was over. I was actually surprised when Alex took a step back and gave me some space, however I realized I could barely stand now. I guess my muscles has seized up somewhat, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“Come on then Fox, what are you waiting for?”

“Just me and you Alex, no gun or any weapons…”

“Yeah just us Fox, hey I’ll even let you make the first move.”

I waited until I felt ready and could move, I lunged at the man that had hurt me so much in such a short time. My fist impacted with his stomach and he doubled over, however I soon realized that it was a cruel trick and the pain was all fake. Within seconds Alex grabbed hold or me and returned the punch, however he really did wind me and I fell to the floor.

Within seconds Alex grabbed my hair and pulled me back up, he then bent my arm backwards and forced me to face the table. The pressure on my arm was becoming unbearable now, I was also sure that Alex would break it if I gave him a reason to do so.

I could feel him moving around behind me, oh god and then the reality suddenly hit me and I realized what he was doing. I’d heard the zip and knew he planned to rape me once more, he was rough as he pushed me face down over the table and entered me. All I could do was scream and pray for it all to end, however this time Alex was brutal with his assault on me.

My arm hurt even more now, also my ass still hurt from the last time he’d abused and whipped it. There was something else though, I was burning up and my heart was racing. The headache was also becoming worse as the seconds past, however Alex shouting at me wasn’t helping either.

“Not so big and hard now Fox, maybe you should learn to keep that mouth of yours shut.”

“Alex please don’t do this, oh shit I feel really sick and need to throw up.”

“You can fuckin choke for all I care, you’re nothing more than a self centred fuckin whore who deserves all they get.”

“How the fuck can you call me that, shit Alex please let go… you’re going to break my fuckin arm!”

“Shut up then and I might let up a bit.”

I decided to keep my mouth shut, I also tried so hard to switch off from the man doing this to me. Finally, he came and stepped back, yet all I could do was lay there over the table broken in mind and body. Well that was until the bastard slapped me hard, he even pulled me up and forced me to stand.

“Come on Fox get with it; I do want some sleep tonight.”

My mind tried to work out what day it was, also whether it was night or daytime. Alex had managed to get me back up on the table, once there he forced me to lay down on my back once more. Soon I found myself restrained yet again.

I was back in the same position I started out in, my hands were above my head and my legs were back up in the stirrups. It hurt to lay like this, especially as the belt had left numerous cuts on my backside.

“Alex I really don’t feel too well.”

“Hold on and I’ll sort you out in a minute.”

I watched as Alex opened a bag, however I was unable to see what he pulled out. Soon he came back over to the table, that was when he grabbed hold of my cock and started jerking me off. Worse was the fact my body started reacting to him, within seconds I was rock hard and it hurt.

“Alex what are you doing? Shit please don’t do this to me.”

“Sorry but it’s something I want to do; you see you’ll remain like this for some time Fox.”

“What the hell did you do to me Alex?”

“I slipped a little something into the milkshake you drank, now I’m going to attach a cock ring so you can suffer until I’m ready.”

“Shit that’s why I feel so sick.”

“Not as sick as you will feel Fox, I’m sure you’ll feel far worse when I force an orgasm out of you. To come at the hands of the man you hate so much, I’m sure that will break you even more don’t you.”

“Yeah I bet this is the only way you can get laid, having to force yourself upon someone who loathes you so much.”

“Eventually you’ll see things my way, however I’m going out for a while so make the most of your time alone. Be good and the earth might move for you when I return.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Now I was alone once more, I hated this and worried once more about dying down here alone. I had to accept that I needed Alex while I were here, shit the thought of needing him scared the hell out of me. How the fuck could I want him to come back? Well I suppose my survival depended on him for one, I’d be alone again once I got out of here.

I hated the fuckin lights in here, how the hell could I sleep now. Okay maybe my other problem wasn’t helping either, nor the fact that it was freezing down here. I closed my eyes and tried to think about my life and what I’d achieved, yet all I saw was his face once more. I couldn’t even escape Alex in my dreams, he was always there touching me and kissing me.

I woke with a start; shit I was starting to think I suffered from Stockholm syndrome or something. I listened and prayed the noise was Alex returning, yeah I had to accept the fact that I was fucked up.

I soon realized that Alex was drunk, the man could barely stand and kept bumping into things. Maybe this would be a good time to get some answers out of him, see if he let slip where he’d gone or what he was doing.

“Alex where have you been?”

“Shit you’re not my father Fox.”

“I just wondered that’s all.”

“Where I always go when I’m not with you lover.”

“Alex I’m not your lover.”

“You will be soon Fox; you will answer to me and only me.”

“Yeah whatever, you still haven’t told me where you went.”

“I went to your apartment, well our apartment I guess.”

“Alex what are you talking about?”

“I have to make it all ready for when you return.”

Alex slumped into the chair and fell asleep in seconds; I was left to puzzle over what he’d meant. Well I guess he did suggest that I’d be going home at some point, yet he actually thought we’d both be living there as a couple. I had to consider that it was most likely just the drink talking, chances are he’d remember none of this later.

I tried to sleep once more, I guess it must have worked as Alex was gone once more when I woke up. Well he must have manged to sober himself up somewhat, ha or maybe he had a hangover and went home. That thought disturbed me more than anything else, the tears fell and all I wanted was to go home myself.

I was still sobbing when Alex finally returned, well so much for showing any kind of weakness towards him. He never came over to me straight away, Alex just stood there staring at me from the doorway. Finally, he decided to move towards me, yet I noticed he looked at me with no compassion at all.

“I sometimes wonder what the old Alex saw in you Fox, you’re a pathetic snivelling brat who always wants his own way. The old Alex wanted you so much, he wanted you to actually notice that he was there and to want him. He wanted to hold you and kiss you, feel you as you made love to him.”

“Please Alex, it’s not too late if you just let me go. I can be that person; I can hold you and love you.”

“That Alex died some time ago Fox, this is who I am now and no one will ever change that.”

“Alex you can…”

“Shut the fuck up.”

God I would swear that the man had broken my jaw, the pain was agonizing where his fist had connected with it.

“If I were you I’d keep that mouth shut Fox, otherwise you’ll suffer far more pain than that. How about we lighten the mood somewhat and have some fun?”

Shit now I really did start to panic, I tried twisting around on the table despite there was nowhere to go. The look in Alex’s eyes was deadly and I wanted to get away from him, yet the bastard grabbed my erection and forced me to remain still.

I was afraid to move or even say a word, then suddenly his hand was gone and the nightmare began. Alex had replaced his hand with his mouth, I couldn’t fuckin breathe as his mouth sucked the throbbing organ deep into his throat. It was when he removed the cock ring that I fell apart, to come deep inside the mouth of the man who’d abused me.

Suddenly my legs were released and fell heavy upon the table, then Alex was freeing my hands and I screamed from the pain once more. That was when he slapped me hard across the head and pulled me to the floor, I was forced to kneel with my hands cuffed behind my back. I couldn’t do anything when he attached the cuffs to the table leg, shit then I realized what he wanted.

Alex wanted me to return the favour, I was knelt down and my face was level with his naked groin. I could see the veins bulge and throb; shit Alex was extremely hard and very large in that department.

“Do a good job Fox and I might reward you, if you don’t plenty of people out there could soon teach you. You saw how they all looked at you as we entered, they’d jump at the chance of a blow job.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes you fuckin can do it Fox.”

Suddenly his hand slapped the side of my face hard, the force also caused my head to smack against the table behind me. I really couldn’t do this, especially to him of all people. It was then that my mind replayed the forced orgasm, it was also a reminder that nothing mattered anymore.

“You have one minute Fox, you’ll start or I’ll bring some people down here so you can practice.”

“Alex…”

“God I’ve had enough of all your snivelling; this Fox is my gun and believe me I’m capable of using it. I’ll place it against your temple so you’ll feel motivated. Start now or a bullet goes in that pretty head, you’re mine Fox and I don’t like sharing.”

My brain processed what he was saying to me, well at least he didn’t really want anyone else using me so that was something, I guess. Yet I was knelt here with a fuckin gun pointing at my head, also the man holding it was a temperamental bastard at the best of times. I was miles away, shit that was when I heard him remove the safety.

“Ten seconds Fox, after that I end this game and will put a bullet in your head.”

Shit the bastard called this a fucking game, it was my life that was at stake here and not his. I could hear him counting down ever so slowly, he was giving me the chance to decide my own fate, live or die. I knew despite being fucked up I didn’t want to die now or at all, I finally opened my mouth and let his cock enter.

Alex pretty much took control and worked at his pace, he grabbed my hair and forced himself deep down my throat. Not that he was happy to stop there, I gagged and struggled to breathe as he forced it even deeper.

The worst part was when he finally came, the bastard never let up at all and forced me to swallow every drop. This was when I knew I’d sold my own fuckin soul to the devil, a devil named Alex Krycek.

I collapsed and hung my head down as I sobbed, not that he would even let me do that in peace. Once more Alex knelt in front of me, this time he held my head and started licking all the tears away. I hated him so much and had the sudden urge to hurt him, I wanted him to suffer and feel how I did.

I waited until he moved back and was looking at me, that was when I threw my head forward into his unsuspecting face. I could see the blood run from his damaged nose, yet I felt nothing as it dripped down onto me.

“I should put a bullet in you for that alone, however that would be far too easy for you Fox.”

All I could do was watch as he cleaned himself up, once done he grabbed his jacket and walked out without a word. Maybe this time it was all over after all, he’d rather leave me to die and suffer than waste a bullet on me.

First, I struggled to get my legs from beneath my backside, no way could I remain here kneeling in that position. Finally, I had my legs stretched out in front of me, yet I could do nothing about the position of my arms. It was extremely uncomfortable, especially as Alex had previously bent one right back.

Time meant nothing at all to me now, the cold floor started to seep up and into my bones and I started shivering. I just sat there knowing that it would be a slow painful death, it wasn’t going to be easy when I had no food or water, shit I had nothing left to live for. Was this what Alex had wanted from me, to play this game and then end it so cruelly?

Eventually I fell in and out of sleep, I couldn’t say either was better than the other to be honest. With sleep came the nightmares and the green eyed demon, then awake I had to suffer the hunger pains and the cold. I soon realized that it would soon become even colder, I’d had no choice but to relieve my bladder where I sat. At first the liquid was warm against my legs, however now it was cold and I could smell it on me.

Part of me wanted to die, for my body to give in and be free of all the suffering. I didn’t mean just this suffering, I wanted to escape from my whole fucked up life. Yet the other part of me refused to let go and give in, that part wanted Alex to return and save me.

Maybe it was time for me to accept the truth for what it was, I wasn’t worth any more than what I had here. This would be my life; I would give myself to Alex if he ever returned. I started to shake and realized what I was thinking, also just how close to breaking I really was. Alex had to come back and soon, maybe that way I’d look at him and refuse to give in once more.

I was a fighter and had suffered so much, that was why I wouldn’t go down without a fight. Well that was if Alex came back, suddenly the morbid thoughts worked their way into my mind once more.

At first I thought I was dreaming when the door opened, however that changed when he walked over to me and slapped me hard. I looked up at his gorgeous face, and at that moment I couldn’t decide whether he was an angel or the devil in disguise.

“Come on Fox I need you to stand up for me.”

“I can’t…”

Alex removed the cuffs and I couldn’t feel my fuckin arms. Shit suddenly I believed that they were gone, someone had removed them while I slept. Then it was as if someone had plunged a knife into me, the pain ripped through both of my arms and I started screaming.

“Please god it hurts so much…”

“I’m here Fox and will help you, come on let’s get the circulation flowing then you need cleaning up.”

“It hurts so much Alex, please don’t let it hurt me.”

“Fox no one is going to hurt you, look I even came back so that I could help you.”

Alex rubbed my arms and the pain gradually lessened, then he pulled me up so I was standing in front of him. I knew that I’d be no match against him in this condition, yet a part of me didn’t even want to fight back anymore. Alex came back to me, surely that meant that it was safe here with him if I do as he says.

“Listen to me Fox, I can’t clean you up in this room. Fox can you even understand what I’m saying to you?”

“Yeah you need to clean me up, is it because I’m dirty and I pissed myself?”

“Fox, I know you didn’t mean to do it, look you will have to trust me in here.”

For some reason my mind screamed out it was a trap and to trust no one, yet I knew Alex was all I had and he did come back after all.

“Look I need to put this collar around your neck and use a leash.”

“Why Alex, is it because I’m yours?”

“Yeah something like that, I have to take you upstairs where all the bad people are. It’s simple Fox, you behave and do as I say or I let them have you. Believe me you’ve seen nothing, I’m a fuckin angel compared to them.”

So, he was my angel after all and he’d come back to save me, I stood there and willingly let him put the collar on me. Soon he’d attached a lead and led me out of this room, something kept telling me to run and get away from here. I was weak and in severe need of food and water, also I’d rather stay with Alex than let the others have me.

I was led towards a shower and made to remove the collar and to get in, I just stood there trying to catch the water in my mouth so it would ease my throat. Within seconds Alex was stood behind me, he soon started washing me and I finally started to relax somewhat. It felt good under the warm shower, also to be held and wanted too.

I jumped as I felt him slip a soaped finger deep inside my ass, at first, I tried to move away from the invading digit. Alex was having none of it though, he held me tight and forced a couple more inside me.

“Alex please…”

“Do you want me to leave you Fox, that or take you out there where the others are?”

“No…”

“Then accept what you are Fox, that’s all you have to do.”

“I don’t know what I am anymore, hell I don’t even know who I am either!”

“You’re a whore Fox, nothing more than a cheap dirty whore that does as I say.”

“Please I’m not a…”

“Don’t say it Fox, if you do I’ll go away and leave you here.”

“Please…”

“Say it Fox, what are you?”

“A dirty whore.”

“And who owns you Fox?”

“You do.”

“So, you have to accept the things I do to you, you’re mine Fox to do with as I please.”

I felt Alex remove his fingers, the relief was only momentarily, within seconds he buried his cock deep inside me. He was far from gentle as he tried to teach me a lesson, however my brain didn’t like the lesson he was trying to teach.

“You’re a dirty fuckin whore Fox, just a glorified toy and nothing more. All you are is someone that I can fuck whenever the need arises, your ass and mouth are the only good part of you. One day I will shove my fist up there until you scream, just a whore Fox so remember that.”

I couldn’t take any more of this, he fucked me hard until he finally came. The entire time was all about his pleasure and degrading me, I wanted to hit out and tell him that I wasn’t a whore but a person with needs too.

“What are you Fox, tell me what you are and who you belong to.”

“No… I’m not a whore… please Alex don’t make me say it.”

I started screaming and fell to my knees, that was when Alex re fastened the collar. Soon he attached the lead and used it to yank me up hard from the floor.

“You’re so close Fox and you don’t even realize it, just a few more days and I’ll have you where I want you.”

“Please Alex…”

“What now?”

“Please don’t let them hurt me, I don’t want you to leave me with them.”

“You don’t deserve to have someone like me Fox, I will only give you another chance on one condition.”

“Anything please I’ll do what you say…”

“You will come back downstairs with me to your room, once there you will let me punish you as I see fit. You have to be punished Fox for your disobedience, also you will accept it and won’t fight me.”

Great it wasn’t like I had much of a choice really, Alex and his punishment or all of those men abusing me. I knew I couldn’t take that; I saw on the way in what they did to the men in that room.

“Okay, I’ll accept the punishment no matter what it is.”

“Good, see we will get there eventually Fox. Once you break we can move to better accommodation, then I’ll be able to stay with you a lot longer.”

I had no idea what the hell Alex was talking about, I was far more worried about what he’d do to me and how much it would hurt. I was led by the lead back into the room I hated, the only upside was that I wasn’t alone.

“Right first things first, I’ll have to start by giving you an enema. Shit I’m a fuckin idiot, I always manage to think of things too late.”

All I could do was watch as Alex started grabbing some things, once done he grabbed the lead and dragged me out of the room.

“Alex where are we going?”

“Fox you don’t ask questions, you said you’d accept the punishment I give you.”

“Please… I hate enemas Alex!”

I was shoved back into the bathroom once more, Alex forced me into the shower with my backside facing him. Shit I felt really sick as he started to force the tube into my ass, worse was when the water started to work its way deep inside my bowels.

“Hold still Fox, if it comes out I’ll have to start all over again. I already warned you that this is only the first part, however I’ve changed my mind with regards to your punishment.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see soon enough Fox.”

Shit now I felt the pain inside my stomach and couldn’t answer him, I knew that I were moaning out loud and no longer cared. Oh god… I felt Alex put his arm around me, then he used his hand and pressed against my stomach. The pain was far worse as he did it, his body was also pressing the tube deeper inside my body.

What with his weight pressed against me and the pain, I started crying and could no longer stop. Then suddenly the pressure from my back was gone, however Alex deliberately pulled the tube out fast. At least this room had a toilet I could use, it made me feel ever so slightly less humiliated.

I only just made it before my bowels emptied, not that there was much due to the lack of food. In three or four days I’d hardly ate anything, a couple of fries and some milkshake. It was then that I realized I’d said three or four days, in all honesty I had no idea how long I’d been here for.

Alex forced me back into the shower and made me clean myself up, I washed my hair twice and fully cleaned my body. Alex spent the whole time just stood there watching me, I was no longer as embarrassed by his presence. At the end of the day he’d seen me at my worst, shit the man had even fucked me.

“Come on Fox, get a move on as I haven’t got all day.”

“I’ve nearly finished.”

“Good, then you can get out and lay down on this towel.”

I watched as he laid the towel on the bathroom floor, shit maybe he planned to dry me and humiliate me some more. Not that I had a choice, he’d made it very clear that I wouldn’t escape alive. Too many people here knew him, that was when I remembered about Spender and the consortium. I was so lost in the here and now, slowly all the memories of my life were disappearing or blurring into new ones.

I finished washing myself and then got out, afterwards I lay on the towel that was ready for me. I had to be good and do as he said, maybe then he might go easy with my punishment. I lay there not knowing what to truly expect from the man, it didn’t help when he just knelt there staring at me.

“Fox I want you to turn over and kneel forward so your ass is facing me, then you can use your hands to open your ass cheeks for me.”

“Is this my punishment?”

“I’ve already told you about asking questions, you accept what I give and nothing more.”

I did as he asked, soon I was knelt with my chest pressed against the floor. I then took my hands and opened up myself to him. My cheeks burned from the humiliation, it felt like I was willingly giving myself to the man behind me. Giving him my permission to use me, to do how he saw fit. I guess in a way I was, shit then I suddenly jumped as a finger entered me. Alex prodded and poked, he even managed to hit my prostate and I cried out.

No sooner had he started and it was over, it scared me just how empty I then felt. Maybe Alex was right after all, I was nothing more than a dirty fuckin whore. I only realized he was talking when he slapped my ass hard, I lay there afraid to move until he said I could.

“Turn over Fox, I was only making sure you were clean inside. There was a little blood but nothing to worry about, I must have caught you with the enema tube. To think you even got hard while I did it, that just proves what filthy whore you are.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Hey, it works in my favour Fox, especially once I fit the cage back on. At the end of the day you’ll be the one suffering for your behaviour, I might make you stay that way for hours too.”

“Please don’t.”

“Don’t fuckin answer me back, you should be pleased that I even want to touch you.”

Alex fitted the cage and cock ring over my erection, then the bastard had taken the throbbing organ deep into his warm mouth. I lay there panting and moaning, yet he just laughed knowing I’d remain like this for hours.

“Stand up Fox, the collar’s going back on and the lead. Once done you’ll follow me without talking, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Alex.”

“Oh, and out there you call me master.”

“Out where?”

“You’re questioning again Fox.”

I was dragged along the corridor and realized where we were going, the bastard was going to take me out there. Alex was going to hand me over to them, he’d let them molest me despite he’d claimed otherwise. Suddenly my legs started to feel heavy and I couldn’t move, then I started pulling back and trying to get away from him.

“Calm the fuck down Fox, you are going out there whether you like it or not.”

“You promised…”

“I promised that I’d punish you Fox, I told you and you agreed to accept it all no matter what.”

“You said I was yours, you also said you wouldn’t let them touch me…”

“Fox, I meant what I said, even out there only I will touch you and nobody else.”

“So why out there then, you could have punished me in my room.”

“You’re questioning again Fox, shit that’s the reason you’re getting punished in the first place. I am however glad that you accept down there as your room, you’ve come a long way Fox in such a short time. Look I will punish you out there and only I will touch you, however this is a punishment Fox and nothing more.”

“So why out there?”

“I said they couldn’t touch you, I never said anything about letting them watch you. I figured the humiliation would be painful to you, just as much as the punishment I’m going to dish out.”

I already felt humiliated just thinking about it, having so many people watch as Alex punished me. I was thankful that it would be just him, however it scared the hell out of me not knowing his plans. Maybe he planned to mainly humiliate me, I’m sure he couldn’t do anything too serious with witnesses.

I had to consider my options; shit maybe he would torture me if it was owned by the consortium. The closer we got I became more scared, even out here I could hear the noise from within that large room. Some people were moaning and shouting, however now and then I could hear people screaming too.

“Alex can’t we…”

Shit suddenly he turned and punched me in the stomach, now I was far too winded and in pain to talk. Not that it stopped Alex from grabbing my hair, he then yanked my face up and towards him. God the look alone chilled me to the bone, right then I knew that this wasn’t a game to Alex and he’d kill me just like that if he chose.

“You never call me by my name here Fox, call me master or just shut the fuck up Believe me this is the last warning I’ll give you until this is over, behave or I might pull too hard on the leash and choke you to death.”

I watched as Alex started laughing, not that I had a clue what was so funny. Maybe it was me and he knew I was pathetic, yeah, I’d also be dead if I couldn’t keep my mouth shut for once in my life.

“I just realized something; chances are a whore like you would get off on asphyxiation. Maybe later on we could try it, see if it really does turn you on.”

Alex opened the large wooden doors and dragged me inside, I was then ignored as he started talking to someone and telling them what he wanted. I decided to use that time to look around me, I soon realized it was nothing more than a club for sex and games. A closer look made me realize something else too, all the players took their roles seriously. I had to wonder if they were here by choice, or if they were a prisoner just like me.

I noticed a man strapped to a wooden frame, he was gagged and his screams were muffled as he was whipped. Even from this distance I could see his body shudder as the whip hit him, over and over until only the frame held him up.

In another corner a man was fastened into some wooden stocks, his head and hands restrained and his ass in the air. That man couldn’t scream out even if he wanted to, he had someone fucking his ass while another worked on his mouth.

Along one wall there where even some metal cages with men inside, I noticed they had to curl up so they could fit inside. I watched some of them as their masters left them, some would walk around watching the other masters with their slaves. Some put their slaves in a cage and just waited, that was when I noticed someone pay them to use their slaves.

There were also a few tables like the one in my room, one man was strapped in the same position I’d been in myself. The slave had his legs in the air while his master fucked him hard, I felt sick in this room and had to get out. I started moving away and back towards the door, then the leash pulled tight and Alex pulled me back into hell.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going Fox, I haven’t even started yet?”

“I feel sick…”

“Come on, maybe it’s time we took your mind of it then. Soon you’ll forget everything Fox, you’ll realize there’s nowhere for you to go anymore.”

I was led over to one of the tables and Alex told me to lay down, I couldn’t understand why he’d chose the table this time. There were so many options open to him, yet he used something that was already in my room. So, it looked like he planned to fuck me once more, however this time he’d do it with an audience.

I didn’t like the idea at all; however I knew it could be far worse judging by the other men here. I climbed up on the table and lay on my back, Alex then removed the lead and left the collar where it was. My arms were pulled up and restrained above my head, Alex then grabbed my jaw and forced his tongue inside my mouth. I could hardly breathe as he held me there, soon I thought I’d pass out from the lack of oxygen.

“You’re such a slut Fox, so hot and turned on just from a kiss alone.”

Alex then moved lower down and started sucking on my nipples instead, one by one he took them in his warm mouth. Soon they became hard due to the attention, shit and it was then that he attached the nipple clamps. Alex had purposely waited until I’d let my guard down, now I had to suffer the pain that radiated throughout my chest.

I decided to remain still as he attached some small weights to each one, once he was satisfied his tongue went back to work. This time he licked it along my chest and down my stomach, he then pushed the tip of his tongue into my belly button. I’d become turned on even without thinking about it, yet the sudden movement sent pain through my nipples once more.

“See I knew you were nothing but a slut Fox, however you might want to lay still with the weights I’ve attached. You’re so hot laid there like that and your all mine, tell me who you belong to Fox.”

“Oh shit, god I belong to you Alex…”

Fuck I screamed as he pulled on one of the weights, he then slapped me hard across my thigh.

“Try again Fox, who do you belong to?”

“You master, I belong to you and only you!”

“Very good Fox, maybe it’s time we moved forward before you become too tired.”

Alex took hold of my ankle and attached it to the chain that hung down, he then went and casually repeated it with the other one. This time the position hurt far more, it was then that I realized my legs were higher up and farther apart. It was at that moment Alex grabbed a flogger and tested it against his hand, I could hear the noise it made when it hit the bare skin.

“Well I’m ready to start Fox, I have many things to do before you pass out or sleep gets the better of you. Just remember this is just the start, later I might feed you and let you sleep. Thank me Fox, let me know how much you appreciate my efforts.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you, what did you miss saying Fox?”

“Thank you master.”

“Very good.”

I screamed out as the flogger landed against my thigh, however he then moved on to my backside and started applying more strength. I never knew where each blow would land or how it would hurt. Alex deliberately kept alternating sides and remaining out of my view, shit then he started using it gentle at first as he changed position. It wouldn’t matter how light he did it, the leather bit into the skin between my ass cheeks.

“Fox try and lay still, I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to miss and hit somewhere else. Behave or I’ll remove the cage and use it there.”

I tried to force my body to remain still, however it became far harder as he increased the blows that reigned down on my tender flesh. I couldn’t hold the scream in any longer, the pain was becoming unbearable now and I wanted it all to end. My entire body was covered in sweat and my breathing had become erratic, finally Alex dropped the flogger and actually looked at me and the state I was in.

“You’ve done well Fox; you can have a ten minute break before I move on to the next part.”

I was just thankful that he’d finally stopped, maybe he might ease up now and not hurt me as much. I looked around and was thankful that only a couple of people were watching, I knew I’d be happy if everyone just ignored me and didn’t watch. I felt so hot and out of it right now, and then Alex dropped some ice into my mouth which helped somewhat.

Soon he started wiping my body with a damp cloth, it was only then that I realized how tender my nipples and backside were. Now I was praying that he didn’t want to fuck me, especially if the cloth alone hurt so much. I wouldn’t be able to cope with Alex inside me, pressing against me and rubbing my ass raw.

I tried to block it all out, all the noise and the faces that were in this one room alone. I was finally drifting into oblivion and safety, a place where I could image I was safe and this was a nightmare. Suddenly I felt a mouth on mine and my eyes flew open, I was truly relieved when I saw the green eyes and gorgeous face above me.

I realized I was safe with Alex, I also realized that I wanted to keep it that way too. Alex pressed his tongue further inside; all I did was open my mouth and allow him to push even farther inside. My ass hurt, however I also realized that my cock did too. Yet the fuckin cage would stop all my enjoyment, not that it mattered as Alex soon pulled away.

Maybe I had lost it and had gone insane, this big part of me still wanted Alex. I was willing to even accept this Alex that stood in front of me, Alex had grown bitter and twisted, he was no longer the same man I’d once known and who once was my partner. By rights I should run as far away from him as possible, however even if I could run, I don’t think I would.

“Fox your ten minutes are up, it’s time to move on to the main attraction.”

He bent forward and then kissed me once more, it was as he pulled away something else entered my mouth. It was also then that I realized what he’d shoved inside and I felt sick, the bastard a used a ball gag so I could no longer scream out loud. I started to thrash around on the table, not that I could move too much in this position. Also, there were the nipple clamps that tugged once more at the abused flesh, I wanted to scream out and tell him however now I couldn’t even do that.

“Fox calm down now and listen to me, that’s it just relax and it will make it easier for you. The gag is only temporary and I’ll remove it soon, I just don’t want you biting your tongue off when I start. Also, this will stop you from calling me Alex in here, no one is allowed to call their owner by name in here. We will gather an audience Fox; however I’ll remove the gag once you can no longer think who I am or what my name is. When that happens I want to hear you scream Fox as it will make me happy, do you understand what I’m saying?”

All I could do was nod my head, now I was petrified thinking about what he’d do to me and how much pain he would cause. All I could do was watch as Alex moved, soon he was stood between my parted legs and I couldn’t see anything. That soon changed though, I could feel his finger prodding the tender flesh just before he shoved one deep inside my ass. I couldn’t help but jump, right now even the slightest touch hurt.

Alex looked up at me and just smiled, it was then that I felt him shove another inside me. I was like jelly by the time he’d worked four inside me, shit I was stretched enough so why wasn’t he fucking me yet. This would never end if all he did was play games, shit then I realized he wasn’t playing as his thumb also forced its way inside.

“Breathe Fox, otherwise it will hurt far more and tear your insides. You have to accept this, it’s what I want and you are mine to do with as I please. Just a bit further Fox, the pain will ease up soon enough if you relax.”

My eyes were wet from the tears I shed, it hurt and I was hoping he was just trying to scare me and teach me a lesson. Alex pressed the knuckles slowly inside me and I froze, my breathing was heavy and I was struggling to breathe with the gag in place. Then the hand was gone and it was over, Alex came and removed the gag allowing me to breathe easier. I closed my eyes and breathed deep, it was all over and I’d survived, or so I thought. I soon realized closing my eyes had been a bad idea, Alex had moved while I was preoccupied with the pain.

I screamed and couldn’t stop no matter what, Alex had casualty taken up his spot between my legs, then in one swift movement he’d forced his hand fully inside me. The pain tore through my entire body, I’d swear even dying would be preferable to this pain.

Even in my haze I could see people, I guess many had come to see what was causing me to scream. None of them came to help me, they all just wanted to watch Alex and what he was doing to me. Most of them also looked highly turned on by it all and my screams, however the scream became worse as Alex made a fist inside the tight passage.

I could feel each and every one of his knuckles inside me, then Alex started moving even further inside me. I could feel as he hit my prostate over and over again, I couldn’t help my natural reaction, every time he hit that spot my cock also throbbed in pain. I was literally getting tortured inside and out by his fist, not that Alex seemed happy keeping it there.

It felt like he wanted to go deeper and deeper, it was impossible and he’d end up tearing my insides apart. Yet it was like he no longer cared, bit by bit his arm worked farther and father inside my body.

“You’re a fuckin slut Fox, nothing more than a dirty whore, you deserve this and so much more. You’re such a fuckin turn on, especially as I watch my arm disappear inside you. I can control you with this one hand alone, look I’ll even prove it to you.”

Alex suddenly moved his fist and pressed against my bladder, I was in agony and my body withered in pain. I was left here hard, yet the bastard was forcing me to piss at the same time.

“See look I knew you could do it; I can decide when you take a piss and also when you come. You will realize that your mine Fox and I control your life now, your only job is to behave like the slut you are.”

I knew I was sobbing now, not that I cared who saw me either. Nothing could get any worse in this room now, how could it after everyone had seen me with a fist up my ass.

“Maybe it’s time to let you come Fox, I’m sure you’ll enjoy that part of the punishment.”

Alex used his fist once more and pressed hard against my prostate, while his other hand worked on removing the cage and cock ring. I came the very second he removed it, the adrenaline rush was far too much for my tired body and I passed out.

I came back around sometime later, straight away I realized I was still in this room where anything could happen. My whole body was numb and I hadn’t even felt Alex at first, he was back between my legs and fucking my unresponsive body. I was past caring at this point, I no longer felt it so why should it matter to me.

Finally Alex came and pulled out, he then stood there watching me for a while. I just felt like some bug under a microscope, especially as I couldn’t read his expression right now. Shit when could I ever truly read the man that was Alex Krycek, he’d always eluded the profiler in me.

“Hey you’re back with us Fox, just as well as everyone here’s getting rather desperate.”

“What…”

I looked around and saw far more men than I remembered, surely Alex wasn’t going to let all them use me or my body. Alex must have seen the look of fear upon my face, he came up close to me and explained what would happen.

“Fox you have to understand what kind of place this is, also that people come here and expect various things too. Not all men are here as a couple Fox, some are single when they arrive here, they look for other single slaves or a master that is alone. Then there are the men here Fox, they get off on watching others suffer and be abused.”

“So, they won’t touch me…”

“No Fox they won’t, however every one that comes here has a main goal. They want to get off regardless of how it happens, these men are no different Fox.”

My brain was struggling to understand what he was talking about, right now I was tired and in pain. I looked around and realized there were about a dozen men hungrily watching me, then they all started to move even closer as Alex moved away.”

“Oh god… please don’t leave me Alex…”

“Just accept it Fox, none of them will physically hurt you I promise. Also I’ll be waiting right here for you, I’ll be watching and will make sure your safe.”

The men all gathered around the table, shit then to my horror they all started jerking themselves off. One of them suddenly came all over my chest, that was when I realized they were all going to do it. I had to lay there and suffer the humiliation; one by one they came on various parts of my body. My chest was covered along with my backside, some had even manged to come all over my face too.

Some part of me broke right there and then, it was far too hard to weigh it all up or even concentrate. Shit that night I realized a huge part of myself had died, also that things would never be the same again. I just lay here and waited for Alex, I prayed that he’d come and get me so I was away from them all. I knew that I wouldn’t feel safe until I was back in my room, I wanted Alex to use the key and lock them all out for good.

Alex returned to my side, however the man refused to touch me until I was clean again. I watched as he put some latex gloves on, he then removed my arms and legs from their restraints and the pain returned. I screamed as the blood flowed once more, however Alex was ignoring me and busy doing something else.

I soon realized that the table had casters on it, Alex was moving it and pushing me through some other doors that I hadn’t noticed. I then realized it was a huge shower room, there were many showers just like back at the hoover. Alex pushed the table under the nearest one and turned it on, then he grabbed something that resembled a scrubbing brush.

Alex never spoke to me as he cleaned me up, the brush was very course and hurt me wherever it touched. Shit then he removed the nipple clamp and scrubbed my nipples, I couldn’t help myself as I screamed out from the pain. My ass was no better either, to be honest I couldn’t remember feeling so much pain at once. My whole body hurt, however different parts hurt more than others, also I knew I’d pass out soon without any food.

“You’ve done well Fox, well apart from at the very end.”

“Why, please I didn’t do anything.”

“When I moved away from the table you called me Alex, you knew that wasn’t allowed Fox.”

I tried to replay everything; however my brain was too confused to make head nor tail of anything. I knew what would happen if it was true, I’d have to suffer yet another punishment from Alex.

“Please Alex…I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay you’ve suffered enough for one day; I’ll just punish you tomorrow instead. Right you appear to be clean enough, just lay there while I get a clean glove Fox.”

Alex put another latex glove on one hand, then I was surprised when he applied a small bit of lube to his finger. He then walked back between my legs and inserted his finger, once inside he started moving it around and I held my breath the best I could, however I couldn’t help the moan of pain that escaped my lips.

“You’ll soon heal Fox, believe me it’s only a slight graze and nothing more. Let’s get you dried so you can go back to your room.”

Finally I was dry and Alex helped me to stand, he then soon had the collar back around my neck and the leash attached. For some reason I felt relieved at this, I was safe now and he still wanted me despite I was dirty. I was led back to my room and Alex locked the door behind us, he then led me over towards the table and made me sit there.

I watched as he started rummaging around in a bag, then I saw him pull out some sandwiches and what looked like chocolate cake.

“You will have to make do with this tonight Fox, maybe tomorrow I can get you something more substantial. Eat it slowly though, I don’t want you throwing up and starving to death.”

I did as he asked, I could only stomach small mouthfuls anyway. I spent the time watching him instead, Alex was sat in the chair eating his own food and seemed happy. I had mixed feelings about everything, I also wondered if anyone had even missed me and how long I’d even been here.

“Fox what’s on your mind?”

“What?”

“You always have this certain look when you’re thinking about things, look I know tonight was hard on you and more than you expected.”

“I’m okay, I was just wondering how long I’d been here?”

“Just over a week, why?”

“No reason.”

“Look I’ll keep you here a few more days that’s all, after that you can go back home.”

“Why are you sending me back then, why not now?”

“I have a schedule to follow Fox, why do you want to go back home now?”

I thought about his question, if I said yes he’d hurt me, then no would make me appear weak. Shit at the end of the day I was pathetic and weak, I’m also sure that he could see that on my face too.

“I don’t know…”

“You must have some idea Fox?”

“I don’t want to be alone anymore, you said I belonged to you now.”

“Look just give it a few more days Fox, we can cross any bridges when we reach them.”

“Yeah okay.”

“It’s late and you need some sleep, I’ll prepare you now and then I’ll be back in the morning.”

Alex washed his hands and then grabbed the catheter; I always hated this part as it hurt when he forced it inside me. I guess Alex had no idea what he was doing really, I’m sure a trained nurse would have done a far better job. Once done he stretched out my legs and restrained them, after that I soon found my arms restrained too.

“Alex why do you have to restrain me? It’s not like I can even leave this room.”

“For now I have to do this Fox, I’m hoping a day will come when I don’t.”

Alex never said anything, within minutes he was gone. Soon the nightmares came once more, this time I was on a table and everyone was watching me as I got fucked, other times I was there with Alex fisting me once more. When I finally woke my limbs hurt, I guess I’d moved around a bit in my sleep because of the nightmares.

Once again the light was still on in the room, I had no idea what time it was or when Alex would return. That part worried me so much, I was actually looking forward to him returning. I knew I’d accept anything from him, even all the pain and suffering. It was then that it hit me why I liked it, Alex had set some basic rules and nothing more. Suddenly I’d found myself not having to think much, it was a far easier life than the G man I once were.

Maybe to some it made no sense to them, yet when had I ever truly made sense to the world I lived in. I was still thinking about my life when Alex walked in, I noticed straight away that he looked angry, that or something had pissed him off. I decided to keep my mouth shut for now and behave, I really didn’t want to suffer at his hands while he was like this.

I watched as he walked over to the table, I also couldn’t miss the black box he lay near my feet. Suddenly he ran his hand up my leg slowly, however he was far from gentle as he removed the catheter tube. I tried so hard to remain silent, however I couldn’t help the small moan that passed my lips.

“Get with it Fox, we have some work to do today.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you last night you’d be punished today, first though I want you to tell me why I’m punishing you…”

I racked my brain and tried to think back to last night, shit I started to panic when I couldn’t remember the reason.

“Fox you will be punished twice if you fail to remember.”

“Please… God I don’t know why!”

“You called me Alex when we were upstairs Fox, do you remember now?”

“Yes, I’m sorry and didn’t mean to do it. It just slipped out, please Alex you have to believe me!”

“I do believe you Fox; however my training is to make sure you never slip up at all.”

“So, you’ll punish me twice?”

“No not twice Fox.”

“What do you mean, you said twice Alex?”

“Yes you will be punished twice for what we discussed, however there’s another lesson you failed to grasp the meaning of.”

“What… when?”

“Look I’ll explain so you know, you will be punished for three offences Fox. I expect none from you, never mind three in the same night. You will be punished for using my name and failing to remember when asked, you’ll also be punished for questioning me all the time.”

“Shit… That’s not fair Alex.”

“It is if it makes you learn Fox, I have a couple more days here before we move and have to work fast.”

I looked at him and wanted to ask him what would be happening in a few days, however I bit my tongue and tried to remember my place here. I was not to ask any questions; my life was in Alex’s hands to do with as he saw fit.

“Silence, you see I knew you could learn eventually Fox. Today we are going to try a different method of punishment, I want your backside to recover from my fist and the whip. You see that limited my options somewhat, this way we can have fun and you’ll look good at the end of it.”

I had no idea what to expect from Alex, shit part of me didn’t even want to know ahead of time. I had a feeling keeping my mouth closed would be best in the long run, I already had to suffer three punishments and that was enough.

“First, I’m going to gag you, normally your screams turn me on Fox, however right now I have a headache. I guess there’s also the other reason too, I wouldn’t want you to put me off while I use the needle.”

Now I really did want to scream, his words alone were making me start to panic and I felt really sick. Not that Alex looked bothered by my sudden panic, he grabbed the ball gag and came over to me and stood there. Shit I froze and couldn’t even open my mouth; however I knew I’d soon have some bruises when Alex grabbed hold of my jaw.

“Fox this is going to happen, however now I have to punish you for this too. You do as I say Fox, we’ve already gone through this today.”

The tears rolled down my cheeks, however I willingly opened my mouth and accepted the ball gag. I also had to accept the fact I deserved this because of what I did wrong, Alex had every right to punish me for all my mistakes. At the end of the day he was doing it for me, Alex had also said it would make me look good too.

Alex started licking all the tears away, soon he worked his way lower and found one of my nipples. He sucked hard on the small bud and even used his teeth, soon my nipple was hard and stood up proud. Shit then that was when I saw the needle, I also knew that Alex was talking to me and stroking my cheek.

“Fox listen to me; I used that gag for a reason. It’s just rubber and you can bite down on it when you want to scream, I know your scared, so I’ll do it fast okay.”

No kidding, I wanted to scream and he hadn’t even started it yet. Oh fuck… My body arched up from the table, Alex forced the needle through the tender little bud. The pain was agony and I wanted it to stop, however the pain went on as Alex attached something to my sore nipple.

“Look you’ve done so well Fox; in time we will be able to attach weights and stuff to the little hoop. Just lay still and it will soon be over with, well as soon as I have the other one matching.”

Shit I realized what my next punishment was to be, Alex wasn’t happy with doing just the one nipple. The man was going to put me through the pain all over again, all I could do was lay here and brace myself for the pain. Alex sucked the other nipple, this time he bit down on it really hard. To be honest I think he did it on purpose, my nipple hurt that much I never felt the needle as it entered. It did become rather painful though when he attached the ring, oh and let’s not forget his pleasure as he flicked them hard.

“Right Fox we need to make sure they remain clean; this spray will also numb the bruised flesh. I could have used it first, however you had to suffer the pain Fox so you’d learn.”

I knew he was right; I would have learned nothing if it hadn’t hurt at all. I was just rather pleased when he finally removed the gag, he was gentle as he cleaned my tear streaked face afterwards. Soon the pain in my nipples was forgotten, especially when he untied my hands and the blood started flowing once more.

“I’m going to sit you up for a bit okay, I’ll get you some food and a sugary drink to help you feel somewhat better. Afterwards we’ll have to deal with your other two punishments, I can see by that look that your confused Fox.”

“I’m scared…”

“Scared of what?”

“Asking you any questions, I know if I do you’ll punish me.”

“Right let’s get something straight Fox, you can ask questions if I speak to you. You never ask me any questions when I’m busy or trying to teach you a lesson.”

“I think I understand.”

“Good, so what is it you wanted to ask me Fox?”

“You said I’d received two punishments; I just don’t understand why I have to receive another two.”

“Fox, I know at the beginning I said you’d receive three, which you have already received two of those. I also said you’d receive an extra one because you misbehaved, you refused to open your mouth when I asked.”

“Yeah okay.”

“So do you understand now?”

“Yeah I understand.”

I Knew better than to ask anything, especially with regards to how he’d punish me. Right now I just wanted to get something to drink and some food inside me, yet I started to panic when Alex grabbed his jacket.

“What’s the matter Fox?”

“You’re leaving me again…”

“Well I’m pleased that you see me as more important than food, look I’m just going upstairs and will be back in ten minutes. Hang in there my Fox, soon everything will change for the better and make it easier.”

I knew I could calm down; ten minutes wasn’t long and he’d be back before I even knew it. Alex was right though, not once had I thought about his departure meaning no food. I’d be okay and could deal with anything, just as long as he came back.

I knew he was coming back before he even entered, I could smell the food and it smelt really good. It was at that moment my stomach rumbled and I laughed, I’d actually surprised myself when I did it. It made me realize how far I’d come; I was accepting my punishment and could even laugh afterwards.

“You look rather happy with yourself Fox, well considering everything that’s happened.”

Alex past me a microwave meal that looked really good, however not as good as the donuts that were beside it. I realised that I was actually famished, yet for some reason Alex was looking at me rather wary.

“It looks good, thanks Alex.”

“So are you going to tell me why you’re so happy?”

“I guess I finally realized why you’re doing all of this, also what it means to me too.”

“So spill then, what is it you believe Fox?”

“I know that you only punish me because you love me, you make me feel free and wanted Alex.”

“Shit look Fox this wasn’t meant to be the outcome. I already told you that I hate you, I also told you that I’d cause you great pain if I felt like it. Does that really sound like someone who loves you Fox, someone who wants to be here with you?”

“You just say that Alex, I’ve seen you and how you are with me. Does someone who hates you behave that way; can you hold someone and lick their tears away if you hate them that much Alex?”

“Fox everything I do is just a lesson in itself; I can get inside your head and make you believe and feel things. Look you have to accept the man I am; you know who I work for and what I do.”

“That’s why you’re so defensive all the time.”

“What is?”

“You do love me, however you’re afraid Spender finds out. You know that he’d hate that, shit he’d even remove you and send someone else to do this.”

“Fox listen to…”

“No Alex, I see it all now. You don’t have to worry about Spender though, I love you and want you to stay so I won’t tell him.”

I watched as Alex sat there looking lost, then that little crease appeared above his nose. I knew that he was weighing up everything that I’d said to him. I decided to eat my food and say no more, and I’d give him some time for it all to sink in.

The food was still warm and I felt happy as I ate it, oh and the donuts were amazing as they just melted in my mouth. I guess this felt like a banquet comparted to everything else I’d ate so far. Alex remained quiet until I’d finished, once done he removed all the containers away and told me to lay down. Once I obeyed, he restrained my arms once more, he also untied my ankles and used a spreader bar instead. My legs were forced wide apart, but I realized it wasn’t wide enough for him to fuck me.

“I think it’s time we carried on with your punishment Fox, maybe then you’ll realize I don’t love you at all.”

“It’s okay I understand Alex.”

“Really… Look just drop it Fox. I don’t want to hear another word about what you do and don’t know.”

I knew he had good reason to lie to me, deep down he was scared of that black lunged bastard that owned him. I guess it’s funny when you look at it that way, Spender owns Alex and Alex owns me. Shit then suddenly Alex slapped my leg to get my attention, okay I had to get my mind on the here and now.

“I’ve decided to prolong your third punishment Fox, that way we can pass up on the fourth one.”

“Okay.”

“Right just lay still for me.”

I did as Alex asked, soon he was applying lube to my backside and then he shoved a butt plug inside my ass. Well it looked like he was going to torture me without touching me, Alex knew I’d get hard from the plug alone. Once done he calmly just went and sat back down, however I did notice the small remote that he held in his hand.

“You have to remember Fox, pain can come in many disguises, even including pleasure. Which I might add you’ll soon find that out, I won’t end this or even go easy on you. After all I’m punishing you for two offences.”

“Yeah okay I’m ready.”

“You might be ready Fox; however, I’ll start and end this when I see fit.”

Right now, all I saw ahead of me was pleasure, how the hell did Alex think this would be a punishment for me. Great now he’d picked up a book and started reading, I was horny and relief appeared to be nowhere in sight. At one point I was even drifting off to sleep, yet every time I moved the plug also moved. The fuckin thing was a constant reminder of my situation, also it was making me become more desperate and I was getting fed up of it all now.

“Fox it wouldn’t be so bad if you laid still.”

“Yeah right, it’s easy for you to sit there and say that Alex.”

“I’ve no intention of doing anything until later also you look rather tired now.”

“Yeah I guess I am, it’s just hard sleeping on this table.”

“It will only be for a couple more nights, after that you can sleep in a real bed. I bet you can’t wait Fox, at least you’ll be more comfortable.”

“I would rather have my couch.”

“Yeah well that won’t happen Fox, you see I’ll be sleeping with you when you return.”

I smiled to myself as my eyes started to close, Alex must love me if he wants to share a bed with me. This time the nightmares had gone, I dreamt of a life with Alex beside me now and always. It was the waking up that had taken me by surprise, yet I noticed Alex just sat there laughing at me.

Apparently the remote caused the thing inside me to start pulsing, I was hard and literally came within seconds. No one had to even touch me, the current was that powerful.

“Shit what did you do to me?”

“I can see that this is going to be fun, you seem to be far more responsive than I’d expected.”

“What the hell do you expect, one minute I’m fast asleep and then this?”

“Fox that was just the start, also I used the lowest setting on it.”

“Great don’t tell me, I bet it has half a dozen settings or so?”

“Actually it has twenty, however I might skip a few as I test it out.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Oh, I’m very serious about it, however I might have to move your arms though.”

“Why?”

“Don’t question me Fox, however the way your body jerked could be dangerous. Look, I just don’t need any broken bones or anything else…”

I noticed that Alex was stuttering somewhat as he came over, he soon lowered my arms and restrained them against my sides. I just smiled innocently as him, next thing I knew I was on my own once more. Alex was only gone a few minutes; however I’d got the impression that he’d been turned on by his actions. Ten minutes was long enough for him to go and jerk off, I guess it just pleased me that he was suffering too.

“Where did you go Alex?”

“Why is it you can never shut that mouth of yours, you can learn everything except for sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?”

“Have I upset you Alex? Maybe it was something you did that upset you, well that or turned you on.”

“I’m warning you Fox…”

“Warning me, shit have you ever thought that I might want to come…”

“Do you? Is that what this is Fox, I just make you come and your punishment is over?”

“Well it looked that way.”

“It’s a fuckin punishment you idiot, I want you to suffer because I hate you.”

“If you say so.”

“Right I’ve had enough now.”

I realize winding Alex up was a big mistake, every nerve in my body still throbbed and I knew it was the aftermath of the orgasm I’d received. I’d felt nothing like that before, I guess I wanted to push him so he’d do it again.

“Maybe this will make you realize it’s a fuckin punishment.”

All I could do was watch as Alex grabbed the remote once more, after a few seconds I started to feel it as pulsed once more. Despite coming a few minutes ago I was hard again, that was when Alex grabbed the cock ring and attached it to my throbbing erection.

“Not so clever now are you Fox? Don’t ever underestimate me and what I can do.”

“I’m sorry Alex.”

“It’s too late for that Fox, you will be punished no matter what. Maybe afterwards I’ll take you back upstairs, there’s plenty of toys to make you learn. Well there’s that, or maybe I might loan you out for the night.”

All I could do now was keep my mouth shut; I had a feeling I’d dig myself deeper into a hole if I spoke. I knew that Alex was pissed bigtime, I was even sure the punishment wouldn’t end with this alone.

“What did I say it was set on before, oh yeah I remember now. I used the lowest there is Fox, how about this time we move it up to number five?”

I lay there and closed my eyes, I tried to get my breathing under control before he started. I wanted to have some control over my body, however I didn’t think I’d survive if he turned it all the way up.

“You don’t think I’m stupid enough to do it now do you Fox, that would be far too easy. I prefer to wait a while, that way you won’t know when it’s going to happen. You see that’s a far better way to punish you, you will learn one way or another Fox.”

My whole body relaxed with relief, I no longer had to try and breathe as he pressed the button. Surprisingly he just went and sat back down, yeah he also proved what an infuriating bastard he could be. The minute he sat down he’d pressed the button; he’d deliberately made me relax so I’d feel it more.

“You see I’m not as stupid as you think Fox.”

“Oh god Please…”

“There is no god here to help you Fox, only me and I plan to do the complete opposite.”

“Alex…”

“Shut up Fox, maybe I should have turned it up to ten instead…”

“Oh fuck…”

“Do you like that Fox?”

This was no longer pleasure now, my erection was becoming painful with the need to come. All I could do was lay here and moan out loud, hell I think after so long I even started screaming.

“Hold on Fox I have an idea.

At first, I thought he was going to relieve me, or even turn it back down. Instead all he did was blindfold me, shit now I had no idea when he’d turn it up.

“There you go Fox, now you will be able to focus more on what you feel.”

Shit that was the last thing I wanted to focus on, right now I didn’t want to feel anything at all. I was covered in a sheen of sweat and felt like I was on fire, it was as if every nerve in my body was joining in. I swear this would have to end soon or he’d kill me, hell right now that would be preferable to this.

“Hang in there Fox, at least you’ve made it halfway there. Next time I’ll only turn it up once, maybe that way it’ll be easier for you to adjust to it.”

Yeah right, right now I didn’t think I’d ever adjust to this kind of torture. I lay there panting and trying to get myself under control, that was when the bastard suddenly upped the speed. I knew he’d turned it up more than just once, even my prostate was becoming painful from the abuse it was suffering. All I could do was pray he’d turned it up full, at least that way I knew it wouldn’t get any worse.

“Okay I lied, I only turned it up to fifteen Fox.”

“Please no more, I can’t take anymore…”

“Of course you can Fox, well especially when you don’t have a say in the matter. Do you think it all stops at twenty Fox, once there I could leave you like that for hours?”

God, I realized that he could do it, knowing Alex he’d find it fun too. I had to suffer and there was no end in sight, Alex had gone quiet now and I had no idea when the stupid thing would get faster. I was afraid to sleep at first, I thought it might pass the time and I’d suffer less. I’d soon learnt that sleep wasn’t possible while I suffered like this, shit then something touched my cock and I screamed out.

“Calm down Fox, I just wanted a closer look that’s all.”

“Yeah right, so you look with your hands.”

“I do what I want when it’s my property Fox, I was just fascinated how much your veins can stand out.”

“Anyone’s would if you tortured them like this.”

“Yeah well I’m not interested in them Fox, it’s you that I want to scream for me.”

Shit I knew I’d be screaming soon enough as it was, right now I was trying to mentally prepare my body for when it happened. Not that Alex was helping the situation, especially when his tongue licked one of my newly pierced nipples. I arched my back up as the pain lanced through my chest, yet that just made Alex start sucking it instead.

“God you’re such a slut Fox.”

I refrained from answering him, to be honest I don’t think I could anyway. My body was far too hyped up now, I was literally laid here waiting for his final punishment.

If I tried to behave he might not take me back up there, I never wanted to find myself back inside that room again. Right now though that could end up becoming a reality, mainly because I wasn’t sure I’d cope with this and not piss him off. I was so lost in myself that I never expected it, suddenly my whole body was in agony.

My cock felt like it would explode any minute, I’m sure the device was designed to make someone come. Alex was using this as a fuckin torture device instead and I was suffering, however the pain felt like it was coming from my ass and nipples too. I had no way whatsoever of controlling myself now, my eyes rolled up and I knew I’d pass out soon from the pain alone.

Oh god and then Alex was there beside me, he was stroking my face and then his lips found my mouth and he wouldn’t let go. I couldn’t breathe and was in desperate need of air, however Alex still kissed me even when he pulled the cock ring off. I couldn’t even scream when my body spasmed into an orgasm, I saw stars like never before and then passed out.

I had no idea how long I remained that way, however I woke to find Alex washing my body with a cloth. My whole body just ached now and that I was thankful for, all I could remember was the pain and then the release as my body finally got what it was in need of.

“It’s good to have you back Fox, so how are you feeling now?”

How the hell could he stand there like that, looking at me as nothing at all had happened. Part of me had this strong urge to hit him, just to wipe that smug grin off his face. At that moment I knew that it was impossible, I went to move my arm and found it still restrained.

“You don’t look very happy Fox; I take it you didn’t like what I did then?”

“You fuckin bastard, right now I hate you and wish you were dead.”

“I guess it’s only natural that you feel that way, just say the word Fox and I can hand you over to someone else.”

Shit no he couldn’t mean that, I couldn’t cope with anyone else as my owner. God maybe I’d finally gone mad after all, part of me knew I shouldn’t have an owner or even need one. My blood ran cold at the thought of coping alone, I told that part of my mind to shut the fuck up and behave. I belonged to Alex and he had a right to punish me, I was nothing more than a slut and should be thankful for his attention.

“Please don’t leave me Alex, I don’t want to belong to anyone else.”

“You have a funny way of showing it Fox, maybe I need you to say it properly. I want you to tell me who I am, also what I can do to you.”

“You’re my owner, you own me and can do anything you want to me.”

“Good, now you just need to be punished for that mouth of yours Fox. You have to learn your place now, that or you’ll literally be digging your own grave with it.”

“Okay I will try harder Alex.”

“Good, I won’t punish you tonight though, you’ve already suffered a lot for one day. If you need to take a piss tell me now, that way I can find something for you to use.”

“What…”

“Fox, I have a feeling the catheter would be rather painful, I just presumed it might still be a bit tender. I could make it worse that’s all, plus I don’t want to risk an infection.”

“I’m okay and don’t need to use the bathroom.”

“Tonight, I’ll just restrain one hand okay, also I’ll put the sides up so you don’t fall out.”

“Okay and thanks’ Alex.”

“Sleep Fox and I’ll be back in the morning.”

I didn’t like it here alone, however my body was still tired and sleep came fast. Maybe that was why I thought I was dreaming at first, there was suddenly a loud bang as the door flew open. Finally, I forced my eyes to cooperate and open, however I soon regretted it when I saw how pissed of Alex was.

“Come on Fox get with it, it’s time I gave you your punishment for yesterday.”

“Is everything alright Alex?”

“Will you stop fuckin questioning me all the time, you’re the reason why I have Spender breathing down my neck in the first place.”

“Why? What have I done Alex?”

“You won’t learn to shut up and do as I say, that pissed Spender off as he wants things to move along faster.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Like fuck you are.”

Alex removed the restraints and attached the lead, he then pulled it and forced me to stand up.

“Get on your hands and knees Fox.”

“What?”

“You fuckin heard me, do it right now. You can crawl up the stairs and into that room, maybe it’s time I treat you like the animal you are.”

I felt scared and did as Alex said, I’d come to the conclusion that he couldn’t humiliate me any more than this. Later I’d soon realize how wrong I was, I crawled up the stairs as he asked and without answering back or questioning him. Maybe if I pleased him it wouldn’t hurt; however I had a feeling he would make me suffer far more than he had before.

We entered the large room and Alex just stood there looking around, I just remained on all fours and waited for him to tell me what to do. I realized that there were far less people here today and figured it was a workday or something, I counted no more than a dozen people here. Suddenly Alex pulled on the lead, like an obedient pet I followed him over to a table.

“Fox sit there and behave while I have a word with Steve, you can also make sure you keep your head down and mind your own business.”

I noticed the other man join Alex at the table, I kept my eyes faced down and tried to pay no attention to their conversation. Every now and then I’d pick up on little things that were said, apparently Alex was discussing me and what was going to happen.

I had no idea what he was talking about, he just kept saying something about phase two and that it was time. He’d asked to borrow a couple of men later on today, and that made me start to panic as I feared what he wanted them for. The moans and occasional screams made it harder to pay attention, not that I could hold it against the men that were getting tortured. I guess I knew it would be my turn soon, and I just prayed Alex went easy on me.

I also realized that Alex was drinking with this man named Steve, he just seemed rather disturbed about something today. After a couple of drinks he stood up, he then thanked Steve for the drink and all his help. I then heard him speak quietly to Alex, I heard my name mentioned but very little else. Suddenly Alex laughed and agreed to whatever Steve had asked, Alex told him it was the least he could do in return for the man’s help.

“Come on Fox it’s time to move, we have a lot to do before phase two starts.”

I went along without saying anything, I was sure that I’d soon find out what he had planned for me. Right now I had other things on my mind, especially as Alex led me over to the stocks that was over in the corner.

“Right let’s get you in position Fox, this allows you to remain fully in position throughout the punishment. You can see the restrains Fox and how it all works, I want you to bend forward and put your head and hands in the correct place. It might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, however if you don’t remain still you’ll be punished far worse.”

I did as he asked and felt the strain straight away, I knew it would be a struggle to remain in this position without collapsing. I was leant forward and it hurt my back, Alex fastened the stock back into position so I was trapped here. Shit now I knew how people must have felt in the dark ages, my head and hands stuck out also I couldn’t see what happened behind me.

I felt Alex come up behind me and kick my legs wider apart, within seconds he had the leg spreader fitted in place. Now I was unable to move at all, also this way my backside was on full display to everyone in the room. Last time here I’d noticed the slaves faced the room, that way people could see their face as they were tortured and fucked. Alex had made me face the other way, now I wouldn’t even see if anyone came up and touched me.

I felt sick realizing that anyone could hurt me or do even worse, I wouldn’t even know if Alex let everyone here fuck me. Not that I got a say in what happened, I belonged to Alex and he could do to me as he saw fit.

“Right Fox it’s time I started; I’m going to use a flat paddle so it won’t break the skin like the whip. Okay first you have to tell me why I’m punishing you, if you can’t I’ll use the whip instead.”

“You’re punishing me because I ask too many questions.”

“Very good, however this time it will hurt far worse than before Fox.”

I knew that someone must have upset Alex, also that all his rage would be aimed at me as I were here. Fuck I forgot everything as the paddle came down on my backside, he’d only done one and my ass already hurt.

This time Alex hadn’t told me how many I’d receive, yet they came down one after another without even a break in between. I screamed until my throat was raw and in pain, all I wanted was to get away from the paddle and the man that was using it. That was a joke as I had nowhere to go, he’d made it so I couldn’t even move at all.

I prayed it would end, yet it was like Alex was possessed and didn’t realize what he was doing. So far Alex had remained quiet as he punished me, however now he was swearing and cursing out loud. I knew it wasn’t me that he was cursing though, every now and then he’d slip up and mention Spender’s name. Well at least I now knew who’d pissed him off, knowing that wouldn’t help me at all though.

My whole body had shifted and I’d lowered my back somewhat, it was literally the stock that kept me held where I was. I then heard someone behind me talking to Alex, I tried so hard to listen despite the haze of pain that now surrounded me.

“What do you want Steve? Just give me a few more minutes here with him then you can start.”

“Alex I won’t be able to touch him if you keep that up, look have another drink and I’ll call someone to clean him up.”

“Shit I never meant to hit him that hard Steve, that’s the first time I’ve lost it like that.”

“I knew, I take it Spender’s on your back again?”

“You could say that, he’s started punishing my sexually if I don’t take his orders. I do it though, I guess it’s easier than the alternative.”

“Come and sit, I’ll get you a large vodka.”

Alex willingly went with the man and sat down once more, for some reason it made me feel sick to think of Spender doing that to Alex. I loved him and didn’t want him to suffer because of me, I had to learn to take orders too so he’d be safe.

Suddenly I felt someone grab my chin and pull my head up, the first thing I noticed was the concern I saw upon their face. For some reason I instantly felt safe with him, then he spoke and I realized the punishment was over for now.

“Fox my name’s Paul okay, I’m going to put a few cushions under your chest.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Good, it will help you balance better and put less pressure on your arms.”

I felt the difference straight away and sighed with relief, part of me wished my hands were free so I could rub my backside and ease the pain somewhat. I knew this was only momentarily relief and Alex would return soon, I shuddered at the thought of him drinking even more vodka.

“Fox I’m just going to touch your backside…”

“What the fuck…”

“Hey it’s not in a sexual way I promise, I just want to put some cream on so it doesn’t become infected.”

“Yeah I guess that’s okay.”

“This way it’ll also cool your ass down and make it easier for you.”

“Okay and thanks for this.”

“My job is to clean people up and make sure there’s no permanent damage, some of the men in here have lost it at times and we’ve needed an ambulance.”

“I’m sure I’m not that bad.”

“No you’re not, however I’ve never seen Alex lose it like he has tonight.”

“I know it’s not my place to ask… never mind… just forget I said anything and please don’t tell Alex.”

“Hey you can ask me anything Fox, whatever you say or ask will remain between the two of us.”

“Okay, I just wanted to know if he’s still drinking?”

“Yeah, I’d say the bottles nearly empty, just behave and do as he says Fox okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Right I have to get this cream on before he returns, I’ll keep my eyes open until you leave the room.”

I thanked him once more and then he disappeared from my view, the cream he applied felt like heaven as he applied it to my sore behind. The man was gentle and kept his touch light, for that I was truly thankful. Soon it was over though, also within minutes Alex had returned with Steve.

“Fox look at me.”

I did as he asked, however that was when I realized he was drunk and could only just stand. It wasn’t just him either, even his friend Steve looked drunk too. This worried me a lot, I just hope Alex didn’t go too far this time because of the vodka.

“I know that you’re in pain Fox and I can’t change that, however there are certain things I have to do so I can use this club. Do you remember last time you were down here, also what those men did to you?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“They got off on watching you Fox, you have to be honest and admit that they didn’t hurt you. I let them come all over you Fox, however I wouldn’t let any of them touch you.”

I shuddered as I remembered the embarrassment, the men had all used me to jerk off. Now I was starting to wonder if it was going to happen again, I realized it wouldn’t be a painful punishment and I wouldn’t really suffer.

“Fox do you understand me so far?”

“You want to let them do it again?”

“No Fox, this time it will be something different and you will be touched.”

“You promised…”

“Fox, I promised that no one would fuck you other than me, I can’t risk someone giving you disease or anything can I?”

Great so everyone could do what they wanted to me, well with the exception of shoving their cock inside of me. Alex must have noticed the look of horror that I gave him, I didn’t want anyone else touching me at all.

“Fox it will be okay, look Steve here wants to learn a few things so he can join in with the customers at times. He’s owned the place for a couple of years and never got involved, I guess things change. What I’m saying is that he needs to learn certain things, as a thank you for his help I’m letting him try a couple of things with you.”

Suddenly I felt really sick just at the thought of it, despite not even knowing what he had planned for me. I tried to keep myself together, however I couldn’t control the tears that ran down my face. Alex gently kissed me and wiped the tears away, once done he stood up once more.

“Right Fox I’m going to remove the stock okay, just bear with me while I deal with everything then I’ll tell you what to expect.”

Alex lifted me out while Steve moved the stock away, I was just thankful that I had the cushions to rest against. That soon changed though Alex pulled my arms out in front of me, I just watched as he cuffed them. I was too tired and in far too much pain to care, however I did notice the large hook cemented in the ground in front of me. Soon the cuffs were stretched over the hook and my arms were held in place.

“Fox I’m now going to remove the spreader bar okay, then I’ll do the same with your legs and cuff them.”

Alex soon did as he said, however he failed to tell me how my legs were to be attached. My legs were stretched wide apart and cuffed separately, they were stretched to the point of causing pain and I felt the pressure straight away. I also realized I couldn’t move far, shit even if I could it would be agony.

Soon Alex seemed happy with the restraints, it was then that he removed most of the cushions too. I was left with just one that he’d shoved underneath my groin, so here I was with my legs wide apart and my ass in the air. Then Alex actually came and sat near my head and stroked my hair, once he had my attention he started talking once more. That was when I froze right where I was and wanted to hide, the voice was cold and void of any emotion as he spoke to me.

“Steve here knows the basics so you’ll survive, I guess he just wants to put the theory into practice. You see he’s always wanted to fuck someone with his fist Fox, I thought you’d be the perfect candidate for him to try it out on. I do have to warn you of one thing though, Steve has far larger hands than me so it will hurt until he’s fully inside.”

Shit no anything but that, it had even hurt when Alex had done it to me. I was wondering if he was punishing me or if it was what Spender wanted, not that I could ask without suffering even more pain. Suddenly I felt the large hands on my backside and I flinched at the touch, shit it was already painful from the paddle.

Something cold was placed on my back and I realized it was lube, I just prayed that the man used plenty of it. I could feel his fingers near and then suddenly one was inside, I felt as he started moving it around inside me. Then I was trying to make myself relax and so far it was working, however I knew that was about to change.

“That’s it Steve, pull it back out and add a couple more. That’s it do it hard, now use all your fingers and your thumb, don’t worry if you feel any resistance at all. It’s just normal and you have to push past it.”

I felt his knuckles at the edge of my tight entrance, I also knew that any second they’d be forcing their way inside me. I could feel as he twisted and turned his hand forcing it deeper, he never stopped despite how much I screamed. It was liked he’d tuned me out and was listening to only Alex, the man who seemed to want it to hurt me as much as possible.

“Come on Steve you can do better than that, turn your hand into a fist and fuck him hard. You have to remember he’s a slut and nothing more, he’ll also take whatever you give him.”

Steve did as Alex said, I screamed out as he formed the fist inside me. He even turned it around and I felt every knuckle inside my ass, then he started fucking me with it. It was nothing like Alex had done to me before, he put his strength behind it as he repeatedly hit my prostate over and over. Then the bloke spoke to Alex like I wasn’t even there, well I guess it wasn’t up to me what he could do.

“God he’s so fuckin tight Alex, no wonder you don’t want to share him with anyone. I’m so turned on right now, just seeing my own arm go deeper and deeper inside his body. Would it be okay to come on his gorgeous body, I’m just getting rather desperate here?”

“Yeah go for it Steve, Fox here doesn’t mind at all do you?”

“No master.”

“See I told you he’s nothing more than a slut.”

“Yeah, a fuckin amazing slut at that, I feel like I control his body now just using my fist. It’s like he can’t move or do anything unless I allow it.”

“Yeah you’re the one in control Steve, just remember to fist him really hard as you come.”

“Oh, don’t worry I will.”

The fuckin bastard did too, he was literally pushing my body forward with the force he used. Over and over again that fist punched into my ass, I was so fuckin relieved when he did come. The bastard pulled his fist out fast and slapped my backside, then I was left there while he discussed something with Alex.

I felt sick and so fuckin tired, my whole body hurt now despite the fact it wasn’t over yet. I had to lay in this humiliating position and wait, Alex had said that he was letting Steve try a couple of things out on me. I guess I could pray it wasn’t something as painful, however knowing my luck it would be.

Alex came over and stood there without saying anything to me, that was when he shouted Paul over and told him to clean me up.

“You’ve done really well Fox and you should be proud of yourself, I kept watch to make sure nothing went wrong.”

“I had a stranger put his fist up my fuckin ass, how the hell can I feel proud about that?”

I knew it wasn’t his fault, so far he was the only one here that had treated me like a real person. I guess I was just in so much pain, that was why I lashed out at him.

“I know it’s hard, you’ll feel a bit better once I wipe all this cum and sweat of you.”

I just lay there and let him do what he had to, it wasn’t like I could stop him, also I was glad to have all that crap wiped off me. I nearly jumped a mile when I felt his finger push inside of me, my ass was already raw from Steve and his fuckin knuckles.

“Please I can’t take any more.”

“Fox listen to me and pay attention; Alex expects me to examine you for any tears or damage. If you lay still I can help you, you must be quiet too so Alex doesn’t see.”

“How can you help me?”

“I can help ease the pain; it will hurt at first as I have to be thorough with my examination. Once done, I’ll insert something inside you to numb the pain.”

“Alex will find it, please don’t… he’ll punish me when he finds it.”

“Fox calm down, look it dissolves in minutes and Alex will never know.”

I lay there and just let him work as I was too tired now, I had to admit the examination was more uncomfortable than painful. Soon it was over and he stood up, I then realized whatever he used was good, and within seconds I felt numb and was pleased. I had no idea how long it would last; I knew once it wore off though I’d feel every graze and cut tenfold.

I’d heard Paul telling Alex what he’d found, apparently there were a couple of small tears and a few grazes. Alex just thanked him and told Steve it was nothing, a whore would be able to work through the pain. I then saw Alex come over and kneel before me, he gently pushed my hair back and was gentle to me as he spoke. Personally, I prayed that we could leave this room and return downstairs, over time I’d noticed more people enter and it was rather noisy now.

“Fox, I need to move you into a different position, first though I’ll give you a few minutes to deal with the cramp.”

Soon the blood flowed and the cramp began, I was just thankful that Alex remained with me and rubbed my arms once more. Well considering that he was still finding it hard to stand, at this rate he’d be asleep long before all this was over. As for me I knew it wasn’t over, how could I possibly forget when Steve came to join us again.

“Right Fox Steve here wants to try out your oral skills, if he feels your teeth, I’ll put a bullet in you right where you stand, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Master.”

“Kneel up Fox, this time I’ll only be restraining your hands behind your back okay. You have to make him come with your mouth alone Fox; I wouldn’t have thought it hard for a slut like you.”

I knelt down in front of Steve and found myself facing his rather large erection, then I felt Alex restrain my hands and then step away.

“Right you can start Fox, remember I’ll punish you harshly if you fail to make him come.”

Why did I have a feeling I’d get punished regardless of my actions, not that I had time to think as his cock pushed against my mouth and tried to get inside. I felt sick and really didn’t want to do this, he smelt all sweaty and stale to the point my stomach heaved. Alex grabbed my jaw and ordered me to open my mouth, yet even that failed to work.

“You’re really testing my patience Fox, open it now or you’ll know about it.”

Alex backhanded me and grabbed my jaw once more, he then forced me to open my mouth. At that moment Steve shoved his erection deep inside my mouth, I felt like I was choking and started gagging once more. Not that it mattered what I did, the man grabbed my hair and forced me closer as he fucked my mouth, I was just thankful that he was rather horny and came within minutes. I was still knelt there and forced to swallow his bitter cum, I’d had no choice as Alex had covered my mouth with his hand.

“You’ve really pissed me off Fox.”

“I’m sorry Master.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it Fox, you do as I say even if you don’t like it. I gave him my permission to use your mouth, then you went and outright refused like my authority meant nothing.”

Suddenly I watched in horror as Alex started opening his jeans, however I became even more frightened when he wrapped the lead around my throat.

“I’m going to show you how it’s done Fox, I’ll force you to keep that pretty mouth open as I fuck it hard.”

Alex pulled the lead tight and forced me to open my mouth, within seconds he had his cock in my mouth and fucked it hard. During the whole time he kept the lead tight, then he grabbed hold of my hair and pushed me into his groin. My head was becoming light and I started to feel really dizzy, he was literally smothering me by fucking me and covering my nose. I started to jerk my body away and just wanted to breathe, yet no matter what I did he held me tight.

The lead was pulled even tighter and pressed against my tender flesh, suddenly he came within my mouth and let go of my hair. I started choking as it dribbled down my throat, I was choking and also struggling to breathe in the air. My lungs were on fire and my mouth was in agony, yet all Alex did was push me away from him like I was nothing.

“You deserved that Fox, next time I give you an order you obey me or I’ll pull the lead as tight as it’ll go.”

“Yes Master.”

“Right now you disgust me Fox, as punishment you can stay here for the night.”

I had no idea in what capacity he meant, I was worried he’d leave me here and let them do what they want to me. Alex bent down and grabbed hold of the lead, soon he had it re attached to the collar and pulled on it hard.

“Get on all fours Fox and crawl over there, tonight you will remain in a cage and think about your behaviour.

Shit I realized the cage was tiny, I had to remain sat up with my legs crossed and even then I only just fit in. Yet I knew Alex was pissed off and rather drunk so I remained quiet. I figured the cage would be far less painful than his hand, soon Alex had gone and I tried to sleep where I was sat.

In the end I’d hardly slept, I soon realized that noise would also be a problem inside the large room. How the hell can you sleep when people are screaming and sobbing around you, I presumed it must be night time now as the place had filled up and was rather lively too. I’d seen people come and go including Steve and Paul, none of the new staff were familiar to me at all and they left me alone which was good.

There were other cages alongside mine that were occupied, however as the night went on someone came and collected them. Later I looked up as someone stood in front of the cage I was in, the man was largely built and also looked rather angry as he looked at me. I just closed my eyes and prayed he’d move on and leave me alone; shit I was taken by surprise when my cage opened and he grabbed hold of my hair.

I had to scrabble out of the cage on my hands and knees, I’d soon realized he’d pull my hair out if I didn’t keep up with him. The man pulled my head up towards his groin and started unfastening his jeans, shit I knew straight away what was expected of me. I had to wonder if this was Alex’s way of getting revenge for earlier, however this man smelt really bad and once again I refused.

Oh he tried so hard to make me open my mouth, shit I had to stop this even if it did mean Alex would punish me again later.

“If you put it in my mouth you’ll suffer, I’ll bite the fucker off so you won’t ever use it again.”

“How dare you speak to me like that, you’re nothing but a fuckin whore.”

Suddenly he smacked me hard across the face, he’d used that much force that I struggled to clear my head. The bastard used that time to grab my arm and pull it behind my back, and I howled in agony and knew he’d break it if I fought him anymore.

“You’ll pay for that mouth of yours, I’ll beat you so bad you won’t dare to speak again.”

I was forced to walk across the room as he held my arm, once there he threw me down on a mat and grabbed some rope. Within seconds he had both my arms restrained, that was when I noticed the chain that dangled from the ceiling and the hook attached at the end.

The man pulled it down and grabbed hold of the dangling hook, the bastard then used the hook and attached it to the rope. I had no choice other than to stand, as he pressed a button the chain went back up. He soon had me fully upright with my arms above my head, once stood he decided to make the chain go even higher up, now I hung here freely while my arms took all my weight.

My arm already hurt from the way he’d bent it, shit and now it felt like it was getting ripped from the socket too. The man then just casually walked to the bar and grabbed a bottle of beer; however, he did stop on the way back to grab a whip.

At first, he just stood there watching me while he drank his beer, yeah because he knew he could take as long as he wanted now I was restrained. Finally he decided to make a move, this time he decided to go behind me so I couldn’t see what he was doing.

I soon realized what his intention was as I felt him part my ass cheeks, then my brain calculated everything and realized it was impossible at this height. Yet still I felt something hard against the tight entrance, I could also tell that he was getting pissed off when it wouldn’t go in. As for me it was normal to tighten up my ass so I could avoid it, however I howled in pain as he forced the beer bottle deep inside my ass.

“Not so big and hard now are you? You’re nothing but a whore and will accept everything I give you or else…”

I felt as he twisted the bottle and pushed in in once more, he was literally fucking me with it, yet each time he pushed it deeper inside me. Now I was sweating as I tried to gain some control of my body, I had a feeling that he was trying to cause me as much pain as possible.

The man kept it up and it lasted ages, then only when he was getting tired did he drop the bottle and grab the whip instead. Not that he planned to whip me with it straight away, he used the thick end of the whip and pushed it inside me. Now I really started screaming from the pain, the leather was rough and rubbed against my already damaged insides.

I had a feeling the screaming was turning him on, yet how the hell could I stop when he was abusing me like this. He was even pulling it all the way out, then he’d just laugh before he slammed it back in hard. I felt such a huge relief when he finally stopped doing it and stepped back, well until I suddenly felt the whip as it landed on my back.

“Are you having fun yet, don’t worry I’m sure you’ll cope with just a few more? Look at it this way, you accept the punishment and then you can have the pleasure once it’s all done. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as I fuck your tight ass, not that it matters though as only I count. Oh god and I’m sure I’ll enjoy myself when I’m buried deep inside you, slamming my balls against your backside as I go even deeper still.”

I tried so hard to block him out without any luck, he just kept talking about all the things he wanted to do to me. He also informed me once more that I was nothing more than a slut, oh and also how he’d take great pleasure inflicting pain on me. Yeah right, I was pretty sure he already was inflicting pain on me, shit did Alex really think this would make me behave better. To let someone else beat me and make me suffer, if anything it just makes me feel even angrier towards him.

Finally, the whipping was over and I was in agony, I knew my back and ass would take a while to fully heal from this kind of damage. Soon the chain was lowered and I was on the ground once more, this time though I curled into a tight ball and sobbed. The man was having none of this at all, he pulled me to my knees and shoved my head down. In this position I knew what was coming next, however now I no longer had the energy to stop him.

My hips were grabbed as if in a vice, he then held me there as he forced his erection deep inside my unwilling body. I screamed from the pain as he entered, also from the pain as he lent over the damaged skin on my back.

The man was only interested in getting himself off, where I was too busy suffering to care and just wanted him to come. I struggled to think of a part on my body that didn’t hurt inside and out, Alex had bruised inside my mouth and now I knew my ass would be the same way.

The man kept it up for a while, however finally I heard him grunt and grab my hips with all his strength and I cried out once more. The man just stood and then slapped me on the backside, without even a word he turned and walked away.

I curled up on the floor in agony, no one even bothered to ask me if I were okay or wanted any help. At one point I’d even considered going back inside the cage, hopefully then I’d be safe and could rest. Then I realized it hadn’t helped me before, well considering that was where the man had found me to start with.

For some reason I just felt vulnerable as I lay here, yet I soon realized I didn’t have the strength to move back to the cage even if it were safe. I’d heard them in the past discuss the rules here, you answered to your master and only the men he said could use you. No one else interfered with another’s slave, so I knew I’d be left where I lay until Alex returns or sends someone else.

My body shuddered at the thought of someone else using me, yet I also realized I was scared of Alex returning too. Had he meant to hurt me, that or did he think Spender would know and punish Alex even more. God, I knew he was the last person I wanted to think about right now, I also didn’t want to think about what he did to Alex either.

People moved around me, thankfully none of them had actually stepped on me by mistake. At one point someone had tried to offer me some water, I was thirsty and my throat was raw yet I couldn’t move to accept it. The man had walked away complaining to his friend, apparently he said that my master had gone too far with his treatment of me. I could agree on that fact, however I knew that refusal meant punishment.

I lay here thinking about what I’d done wrong and wondering what would happen to me, it wasn’t like I’d behaved for the man he sent. I’d refused outright to give the man a blow job, then to top it off I’d even threatened him. I don’t think Alex would take kindly to a threat like that, threatening to bite a man there wouldn’t win me any brownie points. Then I suddenly had another thought, what if Alex never came back or just handed me over to someone else?

I was finally falling asleep as my body and mind were exhausted now; however it was the shouting that had dragged me back to reality. I managed to lift my head from the mat and saw Alex, I no longer cared about the pain as I forced myself to move. I’d literally dragged myself as far into the corner as I could go, all I wanted was to escape Alex and his violent temper.

Alex walked over to me and grabbed hold of my chin, I was shaking and crying with the fear of what he was about to do. Then suddenly his warm hand was gone and I lowered my head, however I knew I’d have to look at him when he ordered me to do so.

“Why Fox, why the hell didn’t you say no and stop him? Look just stay there and I’ll be back soon, oh and this time don’t fuckin move okay…”

I sat huddled in the corner as Alex went over to the bar, within minutes I saw him walk out with the man that abused me. So, it looked like he and Alex were friends, chances are Alex was going outside to pay him for his handiwork on me.

I soon realized only a few minutes had passed before Alex walked back inside the club, he then made a phone call and sounded more pissed off as time went on. I had a feeling he’d run out of patience long before he reached me, that was the main reason I remained in the tight ball.

I’d heard him mention Spender and knew that was who he was talking to, he also gave the man the address for the club we’re at. My mind started to work overtime, was Alex calling Spender to come and take me away or even my dead body?

I watched Alex to see if he gave any more clues away, shit the man was good at what he did and even his body language gave nothing away, well until he walked over to me that is. I waited for the pain in the form of a slap or something, I was taken aback when Alex actually knelt before me and spoke quietly.

“Fox will you at least look at me please… I just want to know what happened here that’s all.”

“You should know…”

“How the hell should I know?”

“You were the one that sent him to do it to me.”

“Fox I never sent anyone, when I left you were meant to be safe inside the cage.”

“I know you wanted to punish me for earlier today.”

“I punished you for that Fox, I’m sure you can remember how I used your mouth to teach you a lesson.”

“Yes I remember, maybe you wanted to punish me even more.”

“For gods sake I’m going around in circles here, listen to what I’m saying Fox. I punished you for what you did, also I don’t need anyone else to do it for me okay. You are mine and only I will punish you, I just don’t understand why you let him go that far?”

“Because I thought you’d punish me if I didn’t let him do it.”

“Shit Fox, even my punishment wouldn’t have left you like this.”

“But I heard the phone call too.”

“What phone call, you mean the one I just made.”

“Yeah, I heard you giving Spender the address, will he come here and take me away from you?”

“Fox I called him so he could send someone over, I want the body removed from the alley before the police see it.”

“What body?”

“The body of the man that hurt you.”

“Oh shit you killed him.”

“Look it doesn’t concern you Fox, right now I need Paul here so he can help clean you up and check you over.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“He’s already on his way Fox, then afterwards we need to deal with a few things so you’ll be safe.”

“Will I be punished again?”

“No Fox, there will be a few better rules in place though. This carry on has set phase two back a bit now, I’m going to have to stay here a few more days and then we’ll move you.”

“Where am I going?”

“Back home Fox.”

“What?”

“Don’t concern yourself with that right now, look Paul’s here now so behave yourself.”

“Yeah well it’s not like I can do much is it?”

“Yeah well I trust Paul, look I’ll be back as soon as I’ve dealt with the matter outside okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

I couldn’t believe that Alex had actually killed the man because of what he’d done to me, hopefully I’d be safe now and nothing like this would happen to me again. Paul was good and helped me to my feet, he then even took me into a private bathroom so he could clean me up. Apparently he decided a shower would be best first, that way my body would be clean while applied various creams and bandages.

“You’ve done so well Fox; the man was no lightweight and it shows too.”

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as it looks.”

“Well it’s going to take a week or so to heal, I will give some more of the cream to Alex with some bandages too. I might have to give him a list of instructions too, he doesn’t seem to do too well around the sick or injured.”

That actually surprised me considering the job Alex did, maybe he just got on with things and fled straight afterwards. Paul seemed to be in a rather good mood, that was what made me realize I missed having someone to talk to. Also, I feared going home too, especially if it meant I’d be there alone. I decided to question Paul while he was in a good mood, maybe he might know about phase two of Alex’s plans.

“Do you know Alex well?”

“We go back many years and have always watched out for each other.”

“Has he always come here and… you know?”

“You want the gossip on him I imagine, you want to know if he gets off on this?”

“Right now I’m really trying to understand him, I figured that way I’d make it a bit easier for me too.”

“Yeah, I can understand that, however Alex can be a very complex person who’s hard to figure out at the best of times. I guess he first came here with someone from the consortium, back then the room was used far more and Alex soon learnt what could happen in there. He never spoke about it to anyone, only Spender knew how they tortured him.”

“So what about later on, did he come then to play these games?”

“Alex got it in his head that he deserved to be beaten, he came here looking for a master who only wanted a slave to punish and it was never sexual with him.”

“Shit you could have fooled me, especially considering how he is with me.”

“Look your clean now and bandaged, just take the meds and you should feel some relief soon. Also you mention how Alex is with you, let’s just say he’s changed a lot in just a few months. He’s become very angry and bitter with life, also he appears to be far more violent too.”

“Would you believe I used to hit him every time we met, yet not once did he ever raise his fist to me in return. I guess that’s why I hadn’t expected this from him and it scares me, also I don’t know what’s going to happen to me either.”

“Well I’m afraid I can’t help much with regards to his behaviour, all I know is that you’ll be leaving here within a few days.”

“Alex said I was going back home; I’m scared and don’t want to be on my own now.”

“All I know is that Alex will also be leaving, however I have no idea if it’s with you or alone.”

“Well I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.”

“Come on then we’d better go look for him, otherwise the man will be sat sulking somewhere.”

We walked back into the main room and Alex was sat at the bar, he soon looked up though as he saw us enter the room. Straight away I realized he was drinking, also he was rather cold and hostile towards both of us.

“Where the hell were you two, I leave you both five minutes and you fuck off together?”

“Alex you know I was cleaning Fox up, I just decided a shower might be best first so there’s no infections. At least there were no traces of semen within his anal passage, so that would suggest the man had used a condom.”

“Great, do you want me to go out there and thank him…”

“Maybe you’d be better finding a room here Alex and sleeping off the drink, I can always stay with Fox if that would help.”

“Are you suggesting I can’t do my job?”

“No heaven forbid I’d do that; just remember I know you well Alex.”

“Not any more you don’t, look thanks for what you’ve done however I’ll take over from here.”

“Very well, I’ll catch you later on Alex so we can talk.”

“Great I’ll look forward to it, come on Fox I’ll help you with the stairs.”

Soon we were back in the room that I’d come to see as mine, at least I was relatively safe when Alex locked the door behind us. At first, I just stood there and didn’t know what to do, it was Alex who told me to lay on my side so my back healed faster. Once I was fully comfortable Alex moved away, he went and sat in the chair and informed me it was time to have that talk.

“Right Paul told me what supposedly happened here tonight, I’m led to believe that the man took you from the cage without asking anyone for permission. I want to know if that’s true Fox, or were you just whoring yourself so it would piss me off?”

“The man pulled me out by my fuckin hair, also if I were a whore, I wouldn’t have fuckin refused him would I?”

“I had to be sure Fox.”

“He beat me and abused me because I refused him, also I thought you sent him and would punish me for it.”

“Fox no one touches you unless I’m there, or I myself have said someone can touch you. Do you understand that?”

“Yeah I understand, I guess I’ve paid for my mistake.”

“Not yet you haven’t, however that will have to wait until you’re well again.”

“What? so you’re going to punish me when it wasn’t my fault?”

“At the end of the day you let another man touch you without my permission.”

This had to be some sort of joke, that or a trick to see what I would do. I couldn’t have stopped that man even if I were fully healthy, maybe that was why I carried a gun around with me at work.

“Is this just a joke or something?”

“Fox I wouldn’t joke about something like that.”

“You fuckin bastard… I fuckin…”

Alex moved before I’d even finished my sentence, now he was stood over me with his hands around my throat. Shit it was right then that I had a flash back to another time, I remembered how Clyde Bruckman had said I’d die of autoerotic asphyxiation. Part of me wanted to laugh out loud as I knew I was finally losing it, hell I actually thought I’d already gone mad.

“Maybe I should squeeze a bit harder Fox and end it all right now, shit I don’t fuckin believe this… You get off on this don’t you? Well I hope you realize that gives me a way to punish you now.”

All I could do was lay there as he used his hand to press against my throat, I was so far gone and didn’t realize he’d fitted the fuckin cock ring on me.

“Don’t ever underestimate me Fox, or what I can do to you.”

“Why don’t you just do it, go on Alex finish it…”

“Maybe because I follow orders like you Fox.”

Finally Alex let go of my bruised throat, however I knew he wouldn’t move the cock ring anytime soon. All he did. was cuff one of my arms to the table and put the sides up.

“I’ll be back tomorrow Fox, make sure you behave until then.”

“You can’t leave me like this…”

“Sorry what was I thinking.”

Alex went to the unit near the table and grabbed something, I soon realized it was a tube of lube. The man couldn’t possibly be planning to fuck me while I were this sore, fuck I suddenly realized just how sore it was when he slid a finger inside me.

“Alex please don’t…”

“I’m not that cruel Fox, however don’t try stopping me from doing what I want to you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Shit I wasn’t sorry when I realized what his game was, within seconds the finger was gone and replaced with a large butt plug.

“Sweet dreams Fox.”

The bastard walked out leaving me like this, I was afraid to move at all or the plug would move. Only one hand was restrained, however I had a feeling this was a test to see if I’d do what he wanted. So despite the pain and need to come I remained still, I never once made any attempt to come or to piss Alex off.

I must have finally managed to get some sleep despite my current situation, worse was the fact that I’d woke and was still in that situation. I was still tired and also had a headache, yet I forced my eyes to open and that was when I noticed Alex.

The man had managed to enter the room without even waking me up, to be honest that fact scared me for some reason. I was also wondering what sort of mood he would be in today, was his talk of punishment last night the talk of drink or was Alex still planning to punish me today?

I however did realize that he was reading the paper, maybe he was unaware that I was now awake and he could do as he saw fit. For now I would just lay here and enjoy the peace and quiet, I guess it was to be the calm before the storm. My biggest mistake was moving ever so slightly, as I did so the plug pressed against my prostate causing me to moan out loud.

“I know you’re awake Fox.”

“Yeah well it’s a bit hard sleeping under the circumstances…”

Alex stood and came over to where I lay, then the bastard ran his finger over the tip of my very sensitive erection. I moaned out loud without even thinking, not that he could expect any less considering he left me like this for ages.

“Fox I’m going to remove the cuffs; I then want you to turn over and lay on your back.”

I lay there and watched him remove the cuff, I then got into the position required without moaning. I’d decided that I would behave and not question him anymore, shit in reality I feared him taking me back upstairs and what might happen if he did.

Soon Alex stretched my arms above my head and then restrained them once more, this time he placed my legs back in the stirrups once again. Once he was happy, he slapped me hard on the backside, then he casually moved the lower half of the table. So here I was once more, I had my legs high up and wide apart so that I was on full show to him.

“Right I think it’s time I removed the plug, then I want you to lay very still so I can examine you.”

Alex had seen me like this so many times, yet now and then I had a flash back of our past. Ever since that day in the bull pen our lives were intertwined together, it was like our destiny that we’d somehow end up together. I guess I’d just not expected it to be anything like this, in the past I never even realized Alex could touch another man sexually.

I knew I was doing way too much thinking right now, all that mattered right now was the here and now and what he did to me. I have to admit that I fancied him in the past, however I’d never acted on it and always beat him instead. Suddenly Alex removed the plug and I instantly felt empty, where on the other hand my cock felt neglected.

“Well at least there’s no blood on it, are you still sore or in a lot of pain Fox?”

“No, it’s not that bad now.”

“Good, I applied it with plenty of medicated cream last night.”

Well I guess that explained why I felt better, I lay as still as I possibly could as I waited for him to examine me. Within seconds I felt one of his fingers enter my ass, I guess the plug had stretched me so it didn’t hurt too much as he moved it around. Shit then I’d swear he brushed against my prostate on purpose, while my cock was feeling even more neglected if that were possible.

“Well I don’t think there will be any permanent damage, luckily for you Fox.”

“Yeah I guess I’m lucky he didn’t tear my insides even more, especially considering the force he used after what Steve did.”

“Well I just meant your lucky it won’t hurt so much when I fuck you hard, you’re also lucky I don’t beat the crap out of you because it delayed my plans.”

“Gee thanks.”

Shit I regretted what I said the minute I opened my mouth; I could see the anger on his face despite Alex not replying to my comment. Instead he started removing his jeans, shit then I did scream as he slammed himself straight inside my damaged ass.

“You might want to keep that mouth shut Fox, just remember your place and what I can do to you.”

Shit I knew that he was right, I shut my mouth and lay there as he fucked me harder than he ever had before. I had noticed that he seemed to get himself off by calling me names too.

“You’re a dirty fuckin slut and a whore, shit do you really think I could love someone like you Fox? You’re an egotistical fuckin jerk, it’s time you realized this is nothing more than a mind game and I’ll win. You see it’s your mind Fox, however it’s my game that you’re playing.”

I couldn’t believe he was saying this, the words cut far worse than any knife ever could. Deep down I had to believe it was a show for Spenders sake, it did make me wonder just how scared Alex was of that cancerous bastard.

Finally Alex couldn’t hold out any longer, he screamed and dug his nails into my skin as he came, he then collapsed on top of me. My own cock screamed out for its own release, yet I was afraid to say anything after the words he’d spoke. Soon Alex moved and stood up once more, he then grabbed hold of my cock and removed the cock ring. To a certain degree I proved myself to be the slut he claimed, he stroked me twice and then I came all over my groin and his hand.

Finally, my body shuddered as it got what it needed; I was so out of it I hadn’t paid Alex any attention. Not that it mattered as I soon knew what was coming next, I could feel the tube as it rubbed against my insides, I just didn’t see the point of an enema now he’d fucked me.

“Right Fox it’s time to get you cleaned up, don’t worry this is just to clean your insides and remove the cum so you heal faster. I will deal with you and even fit a catheter, afterwards I have to go somewhere and see someone. Look basically I won’t be coming back here for a couple of days or so, I will be giving the key to Paul and he’ll take care of you.”

I realized that it would be okay then, I actually liked Paul and he treated me like a real person. I was thankful that he didn’t leave me with Steve, or worse a total stranger.

“Don’t get any ideas Fox, his orders are to do the basics with you and nothing more. You can use the time alone to think about everything, oh and to accept that this won’t be your room for much longer either.”

I remained quiet as Alex fitted the catheter and dealt with the enema, once done he re dressed and left me here alone. I spent a lot of time alone; Paul came and hardly spoke to me at all. I felt so depressed and totally alone now, I guess that was what made me realize how much I was in need of Alex.

The next day I started to sulk, that or I’d moan at Paul for his ignorance towards me. Yet every time I got the same answer, he was following Alex’s orders and nothing more. I was only restrained by one wrist and used that to my advantage, I started kicking out in protest every time Paul came near me.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone, it’s obvious that you don’t want to be here doing this.”

“Fox you also have to see my point of view and how it affects me, Alex is already volatile and you’re treading on thin ice.”

“Yeah well he chose to leave me.”

“He had to go away.”

“Why?”

“Fox I damn well don’t question the man, he asked me to do a job and that’s what I’m doing. If you really don’t like it take it up with him, just remember that he’ll punish you for doing it though.”

“Yeah whatever…”

By the end of the day Paul was fed up with me, so fed up that he restrained my other arm along with my legs. So, I resorted to hurling insults at the man instead, somewhere along the line I’d forgot he was trying to help me. Eventually he gave up on me and gagged me, now he only came to feed me and empty the catheter. Paul had even found it hard giving me an enema, in the end he had to get Steve to help him, between them they forced my legs apart and then into the restrains.

It was totally humiliating having them both here, however even after the enema I was left in the same position. I think they’d decided it would be far easier in the long run, now they could take care of my needs without taking any abuse.

I heard them whispering together about how long Alex had stayed away, apparently this was day five and they had no idea when he’d be back. All that did was piss me off even more, I needed Alex so how dare he stay away that long.

I was lost, yet I could no longer even find myself or the man I once were. I knew that everyone else would see it as insanity, yet at that moment I’d rather die than suffer a life without Alex in it. I was willing to take the severe punishments every single day, all he had to do was return to me as I belonged to him now.

Well I kept up my moaning and was starting to piss Paul off, I guess that was why I was still in the same position when Alex returned sometime later. Alex would have spoken to Paul before coming down here, especially as he’d need the key to get into the room. It was just my luck that Paul was in here at the time, so they both started talking and discussing me like I wasn’t even there.

“Were there any problems while I was gone?”

“Yeah his behaviour for one, hence why he’s restrained the way he is.”

“So, what did he do Paul?”

“He refused to cooperate with me at all, I even had to get Steve to help restrain his legs.”

“Shit I hope this isn’t going to delay my plans further, he must have regained some of his old self to risk causing trouble. I was doing so well, I honestly thought he was broken now and would behave.”

“I don’t think you realize just how close he is Alex, you going away might make him break far quicker.”

“How the hell did you reach that conclusion?”

“Because it wasn’t you he was fighting against, he fought us because you left him with us and let us deal with him. You’ve broke and moulded him around yourself Alex, now he sees you and only you as his master.”

“So, you think it’s finally worked then?”

“Hell yes, the man was muttering about how he’d rather die than be without you.”

“Well that is good news, now I just have to make sure he remains thinking that way.”

“I would suggest you punish him harshly for his behaviour in your absence, that way you drill in the fact that you’re still in charge.”

“What and you think that it will work?”

“Yes, you have to act as you always have around him Alex, he has to see that you haven’t changed since you left.”

“Yeah okay, it will have to be soon though as we leave here tonight.”

“Very well, I guess I’ll see you upstairs soon.”

“I’ll be there.”

I watched as Paul left, I was just pleased that he’d gone and that I had Alex back. The man in question moved over towards the table, shit then he grabbed my jaw with lightning speed I was thankful when he removed the gag, yet despite that he still kept a tight hold of my jaw. I couldn’t breathe as he suddenly kissed me and then forced his tongue inside my mouth, finally I sucked in loads of air when he pulled away.

“It’s time to get you ready for one final show Fox, I won’t go lightly on you either, you deserve the punishment after your behaviour.”

“Yes Master.”

“God if only the old me had known how easy it would be to break you, however I know the old me wouldn’t have done it like this. You always did think you was above everyone else Fox; you talk down to all your partners and treat them like shit.”

Alex removed all the restraints and then told me to kneel on the floor, I was then given a few minutes for the pain to disappear. Once again Alex attached the lead to the collar I now wore, I’d noticed that he hardly ever removed it now and it was fast becoming part of me. It was also there to show me that he owned me, that was why I knelt without questioning him.

“Get on your hands and knees Fox and crawl for me, I will punish you until you scream and then I might do it all over again. When the day arrives for you to return to work… well let’s just say you’ll be the new Fox Mulder who has seen the error of his ways.”

“Yes master.”

“Oh believe me everyone will like the new version Fox, how they’ll come to learn that you make their life’s far easier when I control you.”

Alex carried on talking about my future, shit I was more concerned with having to go back upstairs and into that room. First, I realized that Alex had other plans before we left the room, mainly plans that would make things harder on me. First he forced a large butt plug inside my ass, he then purposely pressed it up against my prostate and pressed down on it. As usual my cock instantly became hard, that was when Alex attached the cock ring.

This time he attached a leather strap that would keep the plug pressed deep inside me, once done he then grabbed a short chain. Alex started sucking and biting my nipples until they became hard, fuck they hurt beyond belief as he attached a chain from one to the other clamp. I finally thought that I could breathe again, however Alex had other ideas and wanted to add more things to my vulnerable body. He attached another chain to the one on my nipples, then he ran it down my body and attached it to the cock ring. I knew that movement would be hard now, shit if I crawled the movement would pull the chain one way or the other.

I could tell by Alex’s face that he was well aware of what he was doing, also the affect it would have on my body. It would be constantly pulling on my cock and then my nipples, I soon realized I’d have no relief at all no matter how brief.

I thought it couldn’t get any worse, then Alex went and pulled out some small weights. Each one had a clip so he could attach it to the chain, when he finished my cock and nipples felt heavy and were stretched lower than normal.

“There you go Fox, now you’re ready to climb up all those stairs and enter the room as my slave. You will never be anything more, do you understand that Fox?”

“Yes Master.”

“If you behave and please me and then I’ll reward you, do you know how I’ll reward you Fox?”

“No Master.”

“You won’t ever have to come back here Fox, also I’ll be sending you back home.”

“Yes Master.”

“God even I couldn’t have imagined you to become so pliant and submissive, right now you’d agree to anything I said wouldn’t you Fox?”

“Yes Master.”

“Crawl upstairs for me Fox and make me proud.”

I crawled out of the room slowly, every pull on the chain made my body ache with pain and the need to come. I realized that the stairs would be torture, every step I prayed it was the last and we’d be at the top. Then I realized what lay ahead of me and slowed down somewhat, Alex had to pull the lead and tell me to move faster. 

I was so fuckin relieved once we made it to the top, the chain was pulling my cock lower and too close to the stairs for my liking. Everything was okay though as Alex stroked my hair, then he knelt before me and started kissing me. I realized that he’d also pushed something into my mouth, yet Alex refused to break the kiss until I’d swallowed it.

“Don’t look so worried Fox as it will just relax you and make you horny, however I have a feeling a slut like you would be horny without it too. Well at least it won’t harm you so that’s good, and you never know what results it might have. Anyway, it’s time to enter so you had better be ready, you crawl beside me and go only where I go.”

“Yes Master.”

“I want no mistakes like before Fox, no other man touches you without my say so.”

Alex opened the doors and entered; I couldn’t help but notice some of the looks I received from the men. That made me feel uneasy and vulnerable, the looks were totally predatory like they wanted to tear me apart. Finally Alex decided where he was going, I followed behind and found myself at one of the tables.

“Right come on Fox, I want you to climb up onto the table and remain on all fours.”

“Yes Master.”

“Fox there will be one difference this time, this is where you show me if your truly mine or not.”

“Yes, Master I understand.”

“I think you need to know my rules before you say that Fox, this time I will use your body for my pleasure and treat it as I wish. However there will be one big difference this time, there won’t be any restraints Fox. If you stop me in any way whatsoever, I will walk out and you’ll never see me again.”

I knew exactly what Alex meant and expected from me, I also knew that I couldn’t live without him in my life. No words would convince him I were his, I guess they do say actions speak louder than words. I guess that was why I never even bothered answering him, instead I climbed up on the table and went on my hands and knees.

“Well that’s a good start Fox, let’s see if you remain willing once the pain starts.”

I shuddered at the thought alone, then even more so when he placed his hand on my erection and started stroking it. I moaned from the pain and the pleasure, shit I just prayed that he’d let me come before the day ended. Oh god I was so fucking turned on, and now even more so as he replaced the butt plug with one of his own fingers.

“Do you like that Fox?”

“Yes Master.”

“Good because this is just the start, I plan to have far more than just one finger inside there Fox. I will stretch and open you up as far as you can go, I’ll shove my arm deep inside your backside and you’ll let me do it.”

“Yes Master I’ll let you do anything to me.”

“Good boy.”

Now I truly understand the meaning of that phase, pain is so close to pleasure. This was like heaven and hell all rolled up together, I knew it would all be worth it if the pleasure outweighed everything else.

I was thankful that Alex was using plenty of lube on my backside, as one by one he’d work another finger deep inside me. I knew the worst part was still to come, yet all I did was keep moaning like the slut I was. Every time he moved in and out the chain would pull on my erection or swollen nipples and Alex would laugh.

“You’re doing so well Fox; however, you might want to brace yourself as this time my thumb will be going in too.”

I couldn’t even speak now; I was so turned on and wanted him to prove his ownership of my mind and body. Then I felt him re enter me, this time he started to work his hand fully inside the tight space. Then he finally breached the rim and I felt every knuckle inside me, Alex just pulled it fully out and then shoved it back in hard.

“God you’re so fuckin vocal Fox, you like me doing this don’t you? You like having someone control your every mood, fucking your tight ass and making you want to come. I bet you really want that don’t you Fox, to come as I force my arm deeper and deeper inside you?”

“God yes I like it…”

“Do you want to come Fox?”

“Yes Master.”

“We’ll have to see how you behave first Fox, maybe when you prove yourself to me I’ll let you. Whose pleasure has to come first Fox?”

“Yours Master.”

Alex kept up the in and out motion, even when he was talking and reducing me to a quivering wreck.

“Do I own you Fox; do I own your body and that brilliant mind of yours?”

“Yes Master you own me and every part of me that you want?”

“You’ve done so well tonight Fox and I’m proud of you, believe me this is just the start of your new life Fox. Once phase two starts we’ll be playing plenty of games, you will show all of them what a slut you are and who owns you.”

“Yes Master.”

“I can’t wait to see the look on all their faces, especially Skinner and Scully. First we will play a few games alone before then, I have to be sure you’ll obey and come back to me first. Small baby steps Fox, this is your new life with so many changes and new things to learn.”

I had no idea what the hell Alex was talking about, I knew when I was here, I didn’t need to think for myself at all. Alex proved that as he fucked me even harder, also the entire time he kept telling me what he was doing to me. To be honest I was glad I didn’t have to think, especially as Alex purposely hit my prostate every single time.

“At this rate I’ll have to fuck you Fox, you always make it so that I lose control when I’m around you. On the other hand though, I like knowing I can do anything while you’re in this position and that’s like an ultimate high.”

Fuck the man could say anything he wanted and I wouldn’t care, right now my arms and legs were straining to keep me upright. I was so turned on and my body was covered in a layer or sweat, that was causing the table to become very slippery. Nothing seemed to stop Alex though, now his hand was in a tight fist as he fucked me, over and over again he pounded against my prostate.

Right now the need to come was overwhelming me and I became lightheaded, I was well aware that the cock ring was stopping me. I also knew Alex’s needs came first, if he wanted me to remain this way then I would. Then I felt as he pulled his hand all the way out, his knuckles pressed against the tender bruised entrance and I moaned. It hadn’t been intentional at all, yet straight away Alex looked up at me.

“Do you want me to stop Fox, if you’ve had enough I can leave?”

“No Master, please I’m okay and want you to carry on.”

“I know that it hurt you Fox, however it’s part of the lessons you need to learn. I can’t say that it’ll all be plain sailing, however if you trust me I’ll always be there for you. All you have to do is accept this without question.”

“Yes Master, I do accept this and I accept you.”

“You are far more than I expected Fox, and so fuckin submissive. Shit I get to control you and have a fuck toy all in one, how could anyone possibly ask for more.”

Alex moved back to his spot between my legs, oh fuck I nearly fell of the table as he started rimming my ass with his tongue and by the time he shoved it inside me I was gone, I’d swear that I was even talking gibberish. I even wanted to cry with the need to come and would have begged if it was an option, however I had to remember the rules that Alex set.

I knew that it was far from just sexual. There was an instant attraction from day one, I guess as his partner it was easier to deny my feelings. Fuck there was no way I could deny them now though, I realized I’d do anything to make Alex love and want me. Right now, his tongue was like electric and setting every nerve it touched on fire, in and out it went until I started wobbling on the table. I froze and was terrified Alex would stop, then I realized my worst fear was confirmed as he stood up.

“Master please…”

“Don’t talk Fox, it’s not your fault that the table’s proving dangerous. I want you to turn over and lay on your back, then I’m going to fuck you until you scream and beg.”

I did as Alex asked, my main concern was making sure I didn’t fall off the table. This was by far no easy task, especially as the weighted chain reminded me of my own need. Finally, I managed to lay down on my back, then within minutes Alex was on the table with me. He pushed my legs over his shoulders and entered me, this way I realized I could watch his face as he fucked me.

“Despite everything your still so tight Fox, I could make a killing if I loaned you out to a few select people.”

I visibly shuddered at the thought, oh I’d accepted that I was nothing more than a slut and Alex owned me. Yet that was the way I wanted it, I wanted to feel only the hands of my master touch me.

“I saw that Fox, don’t worry I’m far too jealous and possessive to let anyone else have you that way. Just the thought makes me want to fuck you harder, make you hurt so you remember your place.”

Alex sped up and his thrusts became more forceful, shit then he started playing with my erection and I prayed he’d remove the cock ring too.

“Play with your nipples Fox, pull them and rub them until they hurt.”

I did as he asked and was getting turned on more and more, at this rate I’d be coming with the ring on. Then suddenly Alex was screaming out as he came and collapsed on me, my own cock was abandoned and trapped between us. All I could do was lay there and wait until he moved, however the position alone was agony and I struggled to remain quiet. Oh god and then finally he moved and stared down at me, the man looked so gorgeous when he was aroused and had just come.

“Do you want to come Fox?”

“Yes Master.”

“I want you to beg Fox, you have to convince me that you deserve it.”

“Please Alex I really need to come, I’m so desperate and you turn me on so much. I’ll do anything you ask, please I’ve proved that I’m yours and that’s how I want it to remain. Please…please…. please.”

“Yeah I guess you have done really well, and it’s not like you were restrained and had no choice in the matter.”

“Thank you Master.”

“I want you to remove the cock ring Fox, then I want you to get yourself off while I watch.”

At first getting the cock ring off was a struggle, my hands were shaking so bad with the need to find release. Finally, I managed it and knew I’d last just a matter of seconds; I hadn’t even realized I’d shouted out as I came.”

“Oh god I love you Alex.”

Not that he commented or said anything with regards to my comment, instead he leant over me and started licking my chest clean. I had to admit that I’d not expected that at all. Nor had I expected his next move either, Alex moved up the table and his mouth soon found mine. I was lightheaded already and the lack of oxygen made me want to pass out, not that I wanted to miss this as he kissed me with all he had.

Alex had his tongue deep in my mouth and I felt my cock stir, I’d never experienced this feeling with any one before. Something had changed within Alex, yet he would claim he still hated me and it meant nothing. I had to admit that I liked Alex when he was like this, this version of Alex I could follow to the end of the earth and back.

“Stay with me Fox, we have things to do and then you can sleep.”

Alex started removing the chain that was still attached to my nipples, once done he forced me to sit up. I soon found out that it was still rather uncomfortable, my

body was still on a high and the adrenaline was flowing through it. I’d thought I would find relief and start to feel more normal, yet I’d sat up and found that my cock was almost hard once again.

“Okay maybe you didn’t need that pill after all Fox, I think it’s still doing something to your body. Look I’ll help you off the table, however I’ll have to re attach the lead so you can crawl out of here.”

“Okay Master.”

“Oh, and Fox, once we reach the shower make sure you call me by my name.”

“Okay I will Master.”

Once again I found myself back on the floor, this time I crawled with my head held high knowing I had the man I wanted. As we left the room Alex grabbed a bag and spoke to someone, all I heard was them tell him it would be waiting. I thought nothing of it as we entered the shower room, it was then that Alex pulled me to my feet and removed the lead.

I was no sooner in the shower when Alex stripped and joined me, then without speaking he shoved me face first against the tiled wall. Then within seconds he started jerking me off, I was so turned on and wanted him to fuck me again. However, I knew I’d be grateful of this alone, shit then I came screaming as he forced a finger deep inside my ass.

“Fuck Fox you’re one hell of a slut, I might have to start fucking you everyday just so you know your place. You’re my fuck toy Fox, shit and I plan to fuck you when and where I want.”

Soon I was washed and felt clean once more, however my body now ached and my nipples were still sore. I had a feeling I’d have a few more bruises by morning, well especially if Alex carried on like this every day. I got out and had to stand there while Alex dried me, it was slow going though as he couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

“I have many fantasies Fox, I always had a couple that I wanted to act out. Maybe now we can, what do you say Fox?”

“It’s up to you Alex, all I do is follow your orders.”

“But would you follow them if I told you what they were?”

“Yes, if it’s what you want.”

“Good, right that’s a definite on the to do list. I’ll tell you what they are anyway, that way you’ll have time to decide whether I truly own you or not. I’ve always wanted to fuck you in that basement office Fox, slam you face down on the desk and fuck that tight little ass of yours. My other fantasy was fucking you over Skinners desk, either that or you fuck me. I’m not sure how I feel about that though, you see I’m a top Fox and always have been.”

Alex went into the bag and pulled out some clean clothes, I had to admit I was surprised when he had a set for me too. I guess I’d gone so long without any clothes at all, now I had to wonder why he was doing it now. Was this where Alex got rid of me, tell me it was nothing but a joke. I dressed as he said, then that was when I realized nothing had changed between us.

“Fasten the shirt up Fox, the collar will be staying on now no matter where you are okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

I wanted to ask what the clothes were for; however I was afraid that would just piss him off and I’d suffer for asking questions. I liked this Alex and wanted him to stay this way for now, yet I knew at times I’d also need him to put me in my place.

“Right come on Fox, it’s time to wrap up this part of my plan.”

I was led along a different corridor and I started to panic, we were walking for a few minutes then Alex opened an emergency exit door. There stood a large man with a wheelchair, also there was a van parked up.

“Get in the wheelchair Fox.”

“What… Why?”

“Shit not again Fox, we’ve had this same discussion many times. Look just do it, that or I’ll walk back inside and leave you out here.”

I went and sat in the wheelchair without speaking. I wasn’t happy; however Alex leaving wasn’t an option for me right now.

“See it wasn’t that hard was it Fox, look I will need it to get you where we’re going.”

Alex put a strap around me so I wouldn’t fall out, then he pulled up the sleeve on my jacket and was looking for a prominent vein. I hadn’t realized what he was doing at first and then suddenly a syringe appeared in his hand. I never even got the chance to speak or ask questions, also I wouldn’t have dared anyway. Alex inserted the needle into my vein and pressed on the plunger, now it no longer mattered what he’d injected me with.

“Good night for now Fox.”

Alex bent down and kissed me on the lips, not long after that I was wheeled into the back of the van and left there. Alex had got back out and closed the door behind him, not long after my world went black.

I woke sometime later, however I just laid there and was afraid to even open my eyes. It was the fear of the unknown that kept me here, however many scenarios were running through my head right now. Instead I tried moving my arms and legs, shit it was then I realized all my limbs were restrained and stretched as far as they would go.

Jesus I was a federal agent, yet I was too shit scared to open my eyes and see where I were. I knew a lot of it was the fear of being alone once more. Shit I knew I was fucked in another way too, what the hell would I do if I was alone and no one came? Shit who would be the one that would end up finding my body, I knew I had no choice and would have to force my eyes open.

Finally, I forced them open, it then took me a few seconds to realize it was my own bedroom and I was in a bed I’d never even seen before. I soon realized that all my clothes were gone and I was naked once more, also I had something in my mouth preventing me from even shouting out.

I now knew I had no choice at all, I guess that was Alex’s plan when he left me here. I decided to make the most of my time and look around the bedroom, my memory was of a room stuffed with nothing but files and junk. Shit I even remembered how the bed wasn’t even visible before. Yet this room appeared to have a bed with four corner posts, all four held the restraints that kept me here.

Further inspection and I realized there were very little else in here, just a closet that hopefully still contained all me expensive suits. Shit now I was wondering if I’d ever wear them again, ha or if I’d ever even wear any clothes. Next to the bed was one little table and nothing more, it was the items on the table that had gathered my attention.

There lay the lead that Alex had used, also there was a couple of syringes and a bottle of pills. I had no idea what the items were filled with either, not that I was in the position to get up and look. I turned my head from side to side and felt the collar that was there, did that mean that Alex still wanted me and would come back?

I could see that the sheet was black, also my hands gripped them and I realized they were silk and soft against my skin. I had to know what was to happen to me now, I knew without Alex here I wouldn’t function too well anymore. Oh god then I realized I had no concept of time at all, had the time come where I was expected back at work, if so chances are Scully would show up here or even Skinner.

The thought of my predicament made my stomach churn and my headache, I just prayed that I didn’t throw up and then choke on my own vomit. For now, I decided to close my eyes once more, and hopefully my head would stop hurting so much and the sickness would go away. I was still there with my eyes closed when the door slowly opened, I then felt as the mattress dipped and someone sat down beside me.

“Come on Fox, it’s time to wake up now.”

I kept my eyes tight shut as various emotions tumbled around inside my head, oh and also the fact that I were struggling to hold back the tears too.

“I thought you’d left me…”

“Why would you think that Fox?”

“Because you brought me back here and… just forget it.”

“Fox tell me and that’s an order.”

“Whenever I’m here I’m always lonely.”

“So that made you think I’d brought you home and no longer wanted you?”

“Yes, sooner or later I always end up alone.”

“Fox, I want to be here with you, look you’ve come so far and now you’re mine.”

“Really, so you’ll never leave me here by myself?”

“Look if you want me here I’ll stay, however I won’t always be here with you Fox as things come up.”

“See I knew it…”

“Fox I’ll always come back, also there will be days when you have to leave me here alone too.”

“Why would I have to do that?”

“Eventually you’ll return to work Fox, also there will be cases and you’ll have to go away.”

“So, I just won’t go back to work then.”

“That’s something I have no control over Fox, your work is important and you have to go back.”

“Great so I don’t even get a say in the matter?”

“No Fox you don’t, however I’ll always be here waiting for you to return.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes I promise, I also thought coming home would allow you more space too.”

“Yeah well it doesn’t look like that from where I am.”

“Yeah well that’s just until you get settled back in.”

“Have you changed any of the other rooms Alex?”

“Yeah just a few minor adjustments here and there.”

“Did you get rid of my couch?”

“Hell yeah, that was the first thing to go Fox.”

“Why?”

“Fox you were set in your ways and it wasn’t healthy, you should sleep in a real bed on a night and get some decent sleep. Also I didn’t want to sleep in here on my own, you wouldn’t expect me to do that would you Fox?”

“No of course I wouldn’t.”

“Good, look I’ll remove all the restraints for now and show you around, this is your home now and you’re the new Fox Mulder.”

“What do you mean Alex?”

“Give everything time Fox, look just take each day as it comes okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

Once the restraints were removed I sat up, well I guess he wouldn’t have to show me this room anymore. My eyes slowly drifted back to the table, I hated needles and just the thought alone made me shudder. Alex had seen me look at them and the reaction I’d had, he put the pills in his pocket and the syringes in the bin.

“Don’t look so worried Fox, the syringe just had something to help you sleep for a while.”

“So, what about the pills?”

“Fox do you want to be punished already?”

“I have a right to know what they are…”

“You have no rights anymore Fox, you lost every single one when you became mine.”

“Fuck you, I have a right to know what you put in my body.”

“I can see I’ve got my work cut out, somewhere inside that head is the Fox I no longer want to see.”

“Just fuckin tell me and then I’ll shut up and behave.”

Within seconds he back handed me and pulled me up, he also made a point of pulling the collar rather tight around my neck.

“I think it’s time I showed you the bathroom Fox, maybe that way you can cool down that temper of yours.”

Alex kept tight hold of the collar as he led me to the bathroom, on first glance I noticed nothing new. Then suddenly Alex pulled me towards the shower, shit that was when I saw the chain dangling from the ceiling. I also couldn’t miss the cuffs that were attached to the end of the chain, oh and the enema kit that was on the floor near the shower.

“Alex please don’t do this; look I promise I’ll behave and stop asking questions.”

“It’s too late for that now Fox, get into the shower or the punishment will become far worse.”

I decide to do as he asked, otherwise I knew the punishment would be worse or he’d leave instead. Alex grabbed hold of each wrist in turn, literally within seconds I dangled there and my arms took the weight. I was thankful that Alex had realized my predicament, he reached up and lowered the chain a couple of inches so my feet could touch the floor.

“Look Fox I don’t think you need an enema as you’ve hardly ate, I guess I just like humiliating you when you misbehave.”

The bastard used the very minimum amount of lube on the enema tube, he knew once he got it past the opening I’d feel it as it moved up my backside. I couldn’t help but moan out in pain, god and then my stomach started to bulge as he forced more water than necessary inside me.

“Make sure it stays in Fox, you have five minutes to wait until I’ll remove it.”

“Oh shit… God it fuckin hurts…”

Alex purposely pressed against my stomach, however when I tried moving away he grabbed hold of my balls and squeezed tight. I saw stars before my eyes as the pain intensified, yet all he did was laugh at me.

“One more minute Fox, look you’ve just learnt that there’s far worse pain than an enema.”

I kept my head down knowing it would soon be over, then at least I’d be able to sit down before my legs gave out. Okay I forgot this was Alex I was dealing with, the psychotic man I’d fallen in love with. He removed the tube where I stood, then the bastard turned the shower on full and walked away.

“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes Fox.!”

I found myself alone, I just hung here as my ass hurt and prayed the water would get warmer. After a couple of minutes I decided to look at the shower settings, great Alex had set it on the coldest it would go. Fifteen minutes in here and I’d have pneumonia, that or I’d just freeze to death right here.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Alex returned my teeth were chattering and I was shivering, he turned the shower off and wrapped a large fluffy towel around me. He never even spoke as he led me into the living room, where I was made to sit on some strange new leather couch.

“Listen to me Fox, I’m going to get you a blanket and then make you some food.”

“Yeah okay.”

Alex returned with a large blanket that I’d never seen before, not that I cared just so long as it was warm. I was then left there while he went into the kitchen, despite the cold I still looked around the room to see what he’d changed in here. My computer was still here along with my television, I then noticed my video was here but I saw no sign of my videos. I couldn’t help laughing about the thought of them gone, maybe Alex decided I wouldn’t need them if he was around.

“So, want’s so funny Fox?”

“I was just wondering where my videos had gone, I also figured out that I wouldn’t need them if you were staying.”

“No you won’t be needing them regardless Fox, only I get to say when you can come. Actually you can’t do anything with my permission, do you understand me Fox.”

“Yes.”

“Good, right I want you to drink this soup while it’s hot.”

“Okay… thanks Alex.”

“You’re welcome.”

I drank the soup and it warmed my insides somewhat, Alex had sat on the couch and never spoke until I’d finished every single drop. Once done he placed the mug on the coffee table and sat back, he then pulled me so my back was pressed against his chest and then he put his arm around me.

“Will you behave now Fox, as I really don’t want to have to punish you again tonight?”

“Yeah I promise.”

I lay there and then I suddenly felt as Alex started playing with my nipple, just little tugs on the ring that he himself had placed there. Shit then he moved his hand lower and started playing with my erection.

“God I can’t believe you’re hard already Fox, look we can stay here or have an early night. As it’s your first night home I’ll let you choose Fox.”

“God can we just go back to bed already.”

“You’re such a slut Fox, a highly demanding one at that.”

Alex stood and grabbed my hand, he then led me into the bedroom and pushed me down on the bed. As for me, I just stared transfixed as he stripped out of his clothing. The man was gorgeous and all mine, shit and then within seconds he was on the bed and covering me in kisses.

“You’re so fuckin sexy Fox, this is meant to be nothing more than a lesson for you in discipline, yet you make it so hard at times.”

“I’ll try to behave Alex I promise.”

“You don’t get it do you?”

“Get what?”

“I have to punish you regardless of how you behave, you’re a job to me Fox and nothing more.”

“I don’t believe you Alex.”

“Fox you have to believe me, just because I fuck you doesn’t mean I love you… or even like you.”

“Sorry I forgot that you were always the cold hearted bastard, well fuck you…”

I lay here and remembered that I wasn’t restrained, how the hell could I just lay here and let me use and abuse me? I still couldn’t understand the man for the life of me, and deep down I had a feeling that I never would. I looked at his face and wanted to cry at the hate I saw there, that was what made me jump up off the bed and run into the bathroom.

I’d thought things would be different now we were here instead of that room, part of me wanted to obey and do as he said, then there was the part that didn’t. Shit it was then that I realized I’d trapped myself in here, even if I were dressed there would be no way out. I heard the banging upon the door and knew I was fucked either way, Alex would kick the door open and drag me out sooner or later.

“Open this fuckin door now Fox, believe me you’re starting to really piss me off now.”

“So what, you get your kicks out of punishing me and would have done it sooner or later.”

“Fox I just explained that this was a lesson and nothing more, do you really think three little words would make it any better, or less painful?”

“I just want someone to love me, someone that really wants me.”

“I want you Fox, you have to understand that those three words are something I’ll never say to anyone.”

“Why?”

“It’s who I am, look I can’t explain right now okay.”

“Fuck you Alex, I don’t believe that at all.”

“Fox none of that matters, I’m here to teach you a lesson and you have two choices okay.”

“What choices?”

“Open the door and the punishment will be minimal, or I kick the door open and you’ll really suffer for your disobedience. I’ll give you one minute Fox.”

I looked around the small room and tried to think, well I could always use the mirror and cut my wrists. That, or maybe I could find something to use as a weapon against him. I suddenly realized what an idiot I was, I could use the mirror on Alex instead of myself. I saw a towel and covered my own hand as I smashed the mirror into many pieces, I then grabbed a large piece and waited behind the door for Alex.

“What the fuck are you doing in there Fox? Right that’s it I’m coming in.”

I held my breath and waited, then within seconds Alex kicked the door open and walked in. I was fast and grabbed him from behind, I then pressed the sharp glass against his throat.

“Go on then Fox, do it if that’s what you really want?”

I had my groin pressed against his naked backside and couldn’t think, my cock was already responding to the warm body that was pressing against it. I licked his ear and ran my tongue along his face and neck, shit maybe he was right and I was nothing more than a slut after all.

“Jesus Fox, what are you waiting for?”

“Oh god I want you so much.”

“You’ve got me Fox.”

“I wanted you to love me Alex.”

“Look it’s this or nothing, you either accept what you have or finish it here and now.”

I had the opportunity in my hands so to speak, yet I realized that I couldn’t do it. I would accept anything rather than nothing at all, hell even if that meant him punishing me harshly for this little stunt. I dropped the glass and took a step away from him, all I could do was watch and wait as he turned to face me.

“You’ve really disappointed me Fox, I want you to go and lay back down on the bed while I clean up this mess.”

“Yeah okay, I’m sorry Alex, I …”

“Shut up Fox, don’t say another word until I say so.”

I decided it would be best to do as he said, I went into the bedroom and lay there waiting for my punishment. I knew that chances are I’d hate the punishment as he wouldn’t go easy, I guess I shouldn’t have pissed him off when he had a very volatile temper. Alex was like a fucking volcano, one that could erupt at any time without any warning at all. I could even hear him cursing me as he cleaned the broken glass from the floor, worse was when he entered the bedroom and stood there starting at me.

“We need to get something straight Fox, in just over a week you’ll be returning to work and I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

“I will be ready; look I swear that nothing like this will happen again.”

“Yeah well I’m not sure I believe you Fox.”

“It hurts that you can never love me Alex, however despite that I realized something when I was in that bathroom. It doesn’t matter whether you love me, at the end of the day I couldn’t hurt you because I love you so much.”

“What, despite what I do to you?”

“Yes, despite that too, I love you Alex and I can’t just switch it on and off.”

“You do realize that I still have to punish you Fox?”

“Yes I know you do; I didn’t expect anything less.”

“Actually, I have to punish you twice Fox.”

“Why?”

“You disobeyed me, also you threatened to kill or maim me.”

“Shit…”

“Yeah well the sooner it’s over with so we can move on.”

“Fine, I’ll accept whatever you decide to do to me.”

“Fine stand up Fox, while I grab a couple of things.”

I stood and waited while Alex moved around the room, he managed to grab a couple of things before pulling me back into the room. I was left stood there while he put the things beside the chair, he’d made sure that I couldn’t see the items that would be used for my punishment.

“Fox I want you over my knee with your ass in the air, come on you’ve got ten seconds to get yourself into position.

I went over to where he sat, soon I was on my knees and tried to get reasonably comfortable as I lay over his thighs. I was so thankful when they parted and allowed my cock and balls to hang there, otherwise it would be rather painful as my cock was already responding to his naked body. Shit and then he rubbed his hand down the crack of my ass, I was just starting to get more turned on and then it was gone.

“Are you ready for this Fox?”

“Shit I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, so just do it Alex regardless of what I say.”

“Oh I have every intention of doing it Fox, just remember this is only your first punishment.”

“Yeah okay.”

I lay there waiting to see what he’d do to me, shit then I nearly fell of his knee as the paddle came down hard. It stung and my ass hurt, yet I only had a second to think before it happened again.

“I will be giving you twenty Fox; you have to learn so you won’t be in a hurry to repeat what you did.”

“Yeah I understand.”

Alex never had a pattern as he hit me with the paddle, the worst was when he hit the same side repeatedly causing me to scream out. I was no longer coherent by the time he’d done twenty, my ass was on fire and I was crying like a fuckin baby.

“Stay there Fox and try to breathe, I’ll give you a couple of minutes before I move on with your punishment.”

“Shit I think it will take more than that, I don’t think I’ll even be able to sit down for a week or so.”

“Well a couple of minutes is all you have Fox.”

I prayed that the next part wouldn’t be anything that involved my backside, I could always hope that he would take pity on my abused body. Alex started rubbing my backside in circular movements with cream, well at least the heat cooled down somewhat and I relaxed. Shit then he suddenly inserted a finger into the tight hole that was hidden, all I could do was cry out as my erection grew under his touch.

“Does that turn you on Fox?”

“Shit yes…”

“You’re so easy, however tonight I’m not going to let you come that fast.”

“What do you mean.”

“Stand up Fox.”

Alex removed his finger and I did as he asked, shit then all I could do was watch as I realized what my punishment was to be. Alex wasted no time at all as he fitted the cock ring and cage, then the bastard grabbed a large butt plug and shoved it up my backside.

“There you go Fox, now you can go and lay back down on the bed so we can sleep.”

“Shit… what?”

“You heard me.”

I went back into the bedroom and realized this was the worst punishment possible, maybe I could wait until he was asleep and jerk off without him knowing. Soon all hope of that was gone, as soon as I lay down Alex had cuffed my hands above my head.

“Go to sleep Fox.”

“Shit I can’t sleep like this…”

“Yes you can Fox as you’ve done it before, do it or I’ll use the paddle on you again.”

“Fine.”

I knew my ass was far too sore to deal with the paddle again, so all I could do was lay here and pray that sleep came fast. It didn’t help having Alex here in bed with me, especially as he decided to lay against me with his own naked body. I could even feel as his own erection pressed against my thigh, I realized that at least I turned him on and also that I wasn’t the only one suffering.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, at first I woke and realized my arms were no longer restrained. I did however realize that was the only part of me he’d freed, my erection was still there along with the cage too. Shit I’d woke to the same torture as last night and with no end in sight, I’d noticed that Alex was awake and just grinning at me.

“You look a little upset there Fox, that leaves me wondering if you’ve learnt anything with regards to your behaviour?”

“Yeah I’ve learnt a lot.”

“Such as?”

“That you can be a cruel bastard and I shouldn’t piss you off.”

“Good, your mine Fox and so is your life. We do this my way or I walk out, would you like me to leave you here all alone?”

“No, I couldn’t cope if you left me alone Alex.”

“Good because I hadn’t planned on going anywhere.”

Alex never spoke another word, instead he leant over me and removed the torture devices. Oh fuck, within seconds he had that gorgeous mouth wrapped around my erection. Alex soon worked up a rhythm, not that it mattered as I was desperate and came within minutes.

Over the next week or so I tried to behave better, however there were still odd occasions when I’d pushed Alex too far and I was punished once more. It was only later on that I realized I no longer cared, deep down I knew there was only one ultimate way to punish me and that was for him to leave.

Sometime over the last month the man had stolen my heart, yet here I was preparing myself to return to work once more. In all honesty I didn’t even want to go back, I guess I was scared Alex would leave while I was back at work. Alex had made his feelings very clear though, I was needed in the ongoing war with the aliens and it wasn’t optional. So yeah I’d spent the day sulking, shit I’d just spent a month wearing nothing more than a collar. Alex had made me try the suit on, and now it hung there taunting me with what was to come.

Alex was well aware of my mood and kept his distance, however later that same day he’d cooked a meal for us both that would be followed by an early night. Apparently I had to get up early so Alex could make sure I was fully prepared; I knew that I would still answer to him even while at work and it scared me at times.

So the alarm had gone off the following morning, Alex turned it off and ordered me into the shower and to wash myself. Soon he joined me and I was slammed against the tiles once more, however this time he kept whispering things into my ear.

“You’re mine Fox and mine only, also only I will ever touch you. You’re my slut and whore and only I can make you feel good.”

“God yes Alex… fuck me and make me come please…”

“Yeah you’re definitely a slut Fox, just make sure Skinner doesn’t get any ideas either.”

“About what?”

“Fucking you Fox, especially if you behave like a wanton slut at work.”

“I promise I’ll behave, god I only want you Alex…”

Soon Alex was fucking me even harder and kept it up until I came. I never even had a minute to rest, as I had Alex dragging me out of the shower and drying me.

“Get dressed Fox, and make sure you do your shirt up fully too.”

“Why?”

“The collar remains on; you remove it and what we have will be over.”

“I understand Alex so don’t worry.”

“Just remember I have people all over that can tell me things, also many bugs and cameras scattered around the Hoover.”

“What even my office…”

“That would be telling Fox.”

“Fine, I will behave so don’t worry.”

“Oh I’m not worried Fox, I have plans for us both and the people you work for.”

“Such as?”

“Don’t ask questions Fox, otherwise I’ll end up punishing you again.”

“Sorry, I guess I’m just nervous after having a month off.”

“Yeah well it was a rather eventful month Fox, also they will notice a difference in you.”

“Shit what do I say if they do?”

“Explain that you’ve met someone and they’ll meet them soon enough.”

“So, you don’t want me to mention you then?”

“No not yet, I’ll surprise them when I’m good and ready. Look it’s time you were leaving Fox, I’m trusting you on this so don’t let me down.”

“I won’t.”

Soon Alex was kissing me and I didn’t want to leave, however he pulled away to speak to me once more.

“Remember what I said Fox, if I’m out you kneel naked near the door and wait for me.”

“Okay, so what if you’re here?”

“You go straight into the bedroom and strip, then you come out and kneel near the door.”

“Okay I’ve got all that.”

“Good off you go then.”

Alex closed the apartment door behind me and I just stood there, it took me a few minutes to realize what I was doing. First the suit felt funny against my skin, I presumed I’d got used to wearing nothing at all. Secondly, I’d not drove my car for over a month, hell I’d not drove any car at all in that time.

Finally I sorted myself out and drove to the Hoover, my first stop would be to see Skinner and get my badge back. I took the stairs to the fourth floor as I wasn’t in a hurry to face him, as deep down I was scared people would notice that I was different and wonder why. Skinner and Scully both knew me rather well, and I expected to receive many questions from the pair of them.

I finally reached the fourth floor and made my way towards Skinners office, there as usual sat his secretary Kim. She smiled, however deep down I think she hated the fact I pissed off her boss so much. Well I had no time at all to think about that, within minutes she told me Skinner was ready to see me. Well I guess this was it and it was now or never, I took a deep breath and walked in.

“Take a seat Agent Mulder.”

“Thanks Sir.”

“So, Mulder are you ready to return to work?”

“Yeah I believe so.”

“So how was your time away from here, did you find something to amuse yourself with?”

“Yeah I met someone.”

“Do I know them?”

“It’s early days and I’d like to keep it quiet until I’m sure.”

“That’s fair enough, you just appear different and I can’t put my finger on it.”

“I’m fine, I’d just like my gun and badge back Sir.”

“Yes of course.”

Skinner handed me my things and I left his office; the man was keen and knew something about me had changed. If I were lucky he’d think I was in love and that was it, truth was that I am in love. Scully was another matter, I worked beside her and she missed nothing at all. I went towards my office so I could face her and get this over with, despite the fact that deep down I just wanted to go back home. Instead I opened the door and walked straight over to my desk, I then sat down and faced Scully and her hundred and one questions.

“It’s good to have you back Mulder, have you managed to sleep while you were away?”

“Yeah why?”

“You look really tired Mulder; you also look like you’ve lost some weight.”

“Scully stop worrying about me.”

“Are you sure you should be back at work?”

“Scully listen to me will you, I’m fine and glad to be back at work.”

“There’s something different Mulder, I know it even if you won’t tell me.”

“Look I’ve started seeing someone, I guess sometimes I’ve forgot to eat that’s all.”

“So, who is she then, do I know her Mulder?”

“No, you don’t know her Scully, just drop it okay.”

Well technically I hadn’t lied because Scully had asked about a she, I still felt shit though as I lied to everyone that I loved. Then I remembered that I loved Alex too, also how he’d leave me if I didn’t do as he said. Shit I was so lost in thought and hadn’t noticed Scully come near me, I didn’t respond fast enough as she pulled my shirt collar down and gasped.

“What the hell is that Mulder?”

“Shit Scully, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I looked because I thought it was a love bite, do you want to tell me why you’re wearing a collar Mulder?”

“It’s my choice Scully, also my love life is personal and has nothing to do with you.”

“Does she also own a leash to go with it Mulder, just what sort of game are you playing?”

“I said drop it Scully.”

“Why, do you think Skinner will drop it if he sees it?”

“He won’t see it.”

“You’ve really changed Mulder, personally I can’t say you’ve changed for the better either.”

“Well you’re lucky you only work with me then Scully, as believe it or not I like the life I have now.”

“Yeah I find that really hard to believe Mulder.”

“I really don’t care, however I’m here to work so I suggest that’s what we do.”

That pretty much set the mood for the rest of the day, Scully only spoke to me when it was necessary. I was just thankful that we remained in the office all day, at least this way I could bury my head in a file. Well it nearly worked for the whole day, I was planning to leave when I received the call, apparently Skinner wanted to see me straight away.

So here I was once more going up the stairs, I was in no hurry and he’d wait if it was that important. It turned out that Kim had already left for the day, I guess part of me wanted to turn around and leave too, however I’d have to face him sooner or later. I was debating whether to knock, however the decision was taken away from me as his door fully opened.

“Inside Agent Mulder.”

“What’s this about Sir?”

“I received a call from Scully.”

“Great so I piss her off and she comes running to you Sir.”

“You know it’s not as simple as that Mulder, she is well within her rights to talk to me if she’s worried about you.”

“My personal life has nothing to do with either of you Sir.”

“It does if it affects the rules here Agent Mulder, just remember you’ve only been back here one day.”

“Well I haven’t done anything that compromises my job Sir.”

“So how about the dress code Agent Mulder?”

“I’ve done nothing that concerns you Sir.”

I got up and walked towards the door, I’d just stared opening it as Skinner slammed it shut. He then grabbed me and spun me around so I was facing the door, shit then he started pulling at my shirt and tie. He was persistent and didn’t stop until he had his hands on the collar, he even tried to unfasten it and pulled it tight. The lack of oxygen made me think of Alex, shit and that was bad as all it did was turn me on.

I was pressed against the door and my cock was rock hard, oh and just to make it worse I was breathing like some bitch in heat. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until it was too late. I’d pressed my erection against Skinners thigh and rubbed against him, within seconds he let me go and moved away from me.

“Have you totally lost it Agent Mulder; are these the sick games you play in your personal time?”

“Yeah like you said Skinner, I do it in my own time not yours or the FBI’s”

“So why the hell are you still wearing the collar in my time, you know it’s not allowed Agent Mulder.”

“Look I’m tired and I’m going home.”

“You do that Agent Mulder; however I only want you back here when you’ve removed it.”

“Yes Sir.”

I walked out and went to my car, shit what the hell would I do now. Either way I’d piss off Alex or Skinner, maybe I’d just go home and worry about tomorrow when it comes. I arrived home and found it empty, so I decided to use the time to undress and shower so I’d be ready for Alex. Once done I went towards the door and knelt down, now all I had to do was hope Alex returned soon.

I was starting to get cramp by the time Alex showed his face, not that it would end soon either as Alex walked straight past me. I could hear him moving around and moaning quietly too, I was far too afraid to even turn around and look what he was doing, that was something I knew I’d find out soon enough.

Five minutes later Alex came over and pulled me up by my hair, well I now knew what kind of mood he was in and that I’d be the one to suffer. Soon he spun me around and marched me over to my now empty desk, within seconds he pushed me over it and held me there as he whispered to me.

“You’ve pissed me off yet again Fox, have you anything to say before I punish you?”

“No, please just tell me what I did wrong Alex…”

“Fox Skinner works for cancer man too, also I have his office under surveillance at all times.”

“Oh shit…”

“Yeah you could say that, you see I saw exactly how you behaved in Skinners office.”

“God it wasn’t my fault, please Alex I swear it was him that grabbed me.”

“Fox you were nothing more than a fuckin whore while he had hold of you.”

“God I’m sorry it just happened.”

“Yeah well now you’ll be punished for your behaviour, you are mine Fox and only I touch you.”

I watched and noticed Alex remove his belt, at that moment I knew the punishment would be far worse than his hand or the paddle. All I could do was brace myself and be ready for the pain, however I forgot all about that and screamed as the belt came down hard.

“I’m only giving you five Fox; however, I’ll have to do something about all the screaming before someone calls the police.”

Alex disappeared for all of a minute, soon he was back and was forcing the ball gag into my mouth. I hated wearing it, especially when I was emotional and crying as I could barely breathe.

The next two came down fast one after another, then I think Alex purposely waited until I let my guard down. By the end of the punishment I was a snivelling mess as I sobbed, I’d survived it and now I could breathe once more and relax somewhat. Shit that was when I realized Alex was getting undressed, soon he was naked and was stood behind my parted legs.

I had no warning at all as Alex forced himself deep inside my ass, fuck he’d used no lube or anything that would make it easier on me. Worse was also my own throbbing erection, every time Alex pushed back in it hit the desk and I groaned in pain. Shit then he reached up and grabbed hold of the collar tight, at one point I actually thought he was going to strangle me with it.

I lost all control and came all over my own desk, as I tightened my ass up Alex also came deep inside me. I felt a complete mess now, and my body was covered in snot and tears along with his and my own semen. I felt the weight of Alex disappear, then he was removing the gag and pulling me up onto me feet once more.

“You’re mine Fox and no one will ever touch you, also I’ll deal with Skinner tomorrow and let him know what will happen regarding the collar.”

“Thank you, Alex, I didn’t know what to say to Skinner tomorrow…”

“Fox you’re not to concern yourself with trivial things, your job is to please me and I’ll handle everything else.”

“I love you Alex.”

“Yeah I know you do.”

“Do you love me at all Alex.”

“Fox I’ve told you this before, look I want you and need you.”

“I guess it’s better than nothing.”

“Fox go for a shower while I prepare some food.”

I went and had yet another shower, I cleaned myself the best I could despite the water made my ass sting. Shit I knew I’d get some funny looks off Scully if I couldn’t even sit down, she’d guess straight away what I’d spent my night at home doing. Finally I dried myself off and looked in the mirror, it made me wonder if everyone at work knew and thought even less of me.

Well I knew there was no point dwelling on the man I am now, also it wasn’t like I’d had many friends to start with. I went in the kitchen and noticed the food on the table, oh and also that Alex had placed a cushion on my chair. It was the little things that made me wonder about him, subconsciously he might love me and be afraid to say it out loud.

“Wakey wakey Fox, get with it and eat the food before it’s cold.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Fox you’re doing it again, what’s the hells wrong with you now?”

“Nothing…”

“Fox don’t lie to me.”

“Okay I was just thinking about my life, how it is now and with you in it.”

“You’re not having second thoughts are you Fox, if you are, I can leave right now?”

“No, I like having you in my life, I also like it when you deal with everything.”

“Good because I don’t want to leave, eat up Fox and we can have an early night.”

I ate the lasagne that was in front of me, I realized that I was really hungry and even ate a second helping. It was afterwards that I hated myself for doing so, mainly because I knew I’d have to suffer another enema come tomorrow morning. I tried not to think about that right now, as I finally stood and started washing the plates we’d used, Alex had disappeared and I knew he was in the bathroom having a shower.

I also cleaned up the main room and my desk, soon everything was back to normal without a trace of what had happened there. I just walked into the bedroom as Alex did, the man was stood there totally naked as he towel dried his hair. I looked at him and wondered what it would be like to fuck him hard, to grab hold of his hips and enclose my erection in his warm tight body.

“Fox…”

“What?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to devour me or something.”

“I was wondering how it would feel if you were the one getting fucked.”

“What you mean if you fucked me?”

“Yeah.”

“Fox it’s happened on really rare occasions, however I prefer to bottom for no one.”

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for your imagination Fox, just so long as you’re aware it will never happen.”

“Yeah I understand.”

“Right come on Fox, we should get some sleep as we have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Are you restraining me Alex?”

“Do I need to?”

“No, I’m tired and will behave.”

“Good.”

I was in bed only seconds when Alex grabbed me, he had both his arms around me and pulled me against his chest and was kissing my neck. I soon realized that he was already hard again, and I could feel his erection as it pushed against my thigh. Alex never spoke or asked me to take care of it for him, yet my own imagination was starting to work overtime.

I lay here imagining him naked and sprawled out on the bed, he would be restrained as I played with his nipples and teased him. I would move further down the bed licking him as I went, then I would take his erection deep in my mouth. I would suck it and lick it until he could take no more, only then would I allow him to finally come.

Once I had Alex fully sated it would be my turn, I would part his legs and push them up in search of what I wanted. Soon I’d find that small tight hole and shove a finger inside, his body would be so tight as more fingers followed. I would fuck him with my fingers and force them even deeper, soon I’d have to replace them with my erection and own need to come. I would fuck his ass so hard as he moaned and turned me on, shit it was then that I realized I was moaning out loud myself.

“Fox you’re supposed to be going to sleep.”

“Sorry I was distracted by you.”

“What?”

“Alex it’s hard sleeping when you have your erection shoved against me.”

“Yeah well you’ll have to manage it as I’m tired, maybe in the morning I’ll fuck you if you behave.”

“Do you know what I want more than anything Alex…”

“What would that be Fox?”

“I want to feel your erection in my mouth as I suck on it hard, I want to lick and bite it until you come.”

“Knock yourself out Fox, I said I was too tired to fuck you.”

“That’s okay, I just want you to lay there and enjoy it Alex.”

Alex removed his arms from around me and laid on his back, within seconds I moved down the bed and was between his parted legs. At first, I started by licking his erection and playing with his balls, the man was so responsive and such a turn on. I couldn’t help myself as I soon deep throated him, and I gave it everything I had as I sucked and licked his erection. Then one by one I sucked his balls into my mouth and rolled them around, I knew Alex was close now and it was even better than I’d imagined it to be.

I knew however that he wouldn’t allow the final part I’d wanted, no way would Alex lay there and let me fuck him. Instead I licked a couple of my fingers, as soon as Alex was close I moved, I worked my fingers into his ass as I deep throated him. It didn’t take me long to find his prostate and start rubbing it, I knew Alex was far too gone now to stop me too.

I worked my fingers in and out of his tight channel, I could hear as he moaned with passion and need and that spurred me on even more. I started fucking him hard with four of my fingers, then it was only a matter of seconds before he was coming down my throat as I swallowed every drop. I removed my fingers and waited for Alex to speak, yet his next words were not what I’d expected.

“Fox are you hard?”

“God, yeah I’m hard who wouldn’t be watching you?”

“Fuck me Fox before I change my mind.”

“Are you sure Alex?”

“Fox just do it will you…”

I couldn’t believe Alex was willing to let me go this far, maybe taking the risk and using my fingers had turned him on more than even he expected. Well the good thing was that he was stretched enough now, so I placed the head of my erection against his ass and started pushing forward. Alex had ideas of his own and decided I wasn’t going fast enough, as I pushed forward, he pushed up and forced me deep inside him.

I fucked him hard knowing he might never let me do this again, the man was so fuckin tight and I knew it would be over very soon. It was then that I looked down and realized Alex was getting hard once more, so I grabbed his erection and jerked him off as I came inside his gorgeous body. Alex came once more and we were both exhausted, there was no more talking or anything that night, Alex took me in his arms and we both fell asleep.

I woke the next morning and was still in his arms, I had no idea what had woke me as the alarm hadn’t even gone off yet. To be honest I thought it might be me and the fact I was worried about work today, Alex had made it very clear that the collar would remain on. So, at the end of the day I’d have to put my full trust in Alex, which was easy as I’d given him myself and every other aspect of my life.

I had to admit that Alex was so hard to figure out though, last night was just another time that he’d gone back on what he said with regards to himself. I had to face the fact that I’d never figure him out, however I knew that deep down I worried about him. Alex always made out he was untouchable, yet I also knew that Skinner could be very volatile too at times. I tried to forget and just enjoy the here and now and that was in Alex’s arms, I made the most of the time I had before the dreaded alarm went off.

This time Alex changed some of our morning routine I was given the enema that I expected and also loathed, however afterwards Alex grabbed a tube of lube and made me bend over, it was then that he inserted a rather large butt plug up my backside. I instantly started to feel rather sick, I had to go to work and surely he didn’t expect me to wear it there.

“There you go Fox; you can get dressed and ready for work now.”

“Please Alex don’t make me wear…”

I never even managed another word as Alex slapped me hard across the face, the force was that hard that my neck now hurt along with my cheek.

“Don’t dare say another word Fox, what was it I said about us and who gives the orders and deals with everything?”

“You do Alex.”

“So, I take it you’re going to dress and do as your told.”

“Yes.”

“Good, then get something out of the freezer and press it against your cheek.”

I dressed slowly; shit every time I moved the plug pressed against my prostate. At this rate I’d spend most of the day walking around with an erection and really turned on. Soon it was time to leave, and I was just thankful that the ice had made the handprint fade. Neither Scully nor Skinner knew who my sexual partner was, also neither of them would understand that I willingly let them abuse me.

I knew my life would become far worse when they realized who it was I were seeing, neither of them liked Alex and would rather see him dead. Yet just the thought alone caused a pain inside my chest, Alex had worked his way into my life and now he was my life.

Alex had told me I was to go to work and just act normal, he would take care of Skinner and everything else. That was why I just went straight down to the basement and my own office, I walked in and found Scully sat there reading a file.

“Morning Scully.”

“Good morning Mulder, how are you feeling today?”

“Fine thanks.”

“That’s good, hopefully today we’ll have no problems with Skinner.”

“Yeah right, you know as well as I do that he has it in for me lately.”

“Maybe you should stop breaking so many rules then, I take it you did as he said and removed the collar?”

“That’s my business Scully, it only concerns myself and my partner.”

“Yeah right, I take it you like taking orders from a women Mulder?”

“Right I’ve had enough of this Scully, what I do only concerns you when we are at work. Everything beyond that is my life and my choice, however there is just one fact I will share with you.”

“What would that be Mulder?”

“My partner isn’t a she Scully, I’m actually seeing another man.”

“That’s even worse Mulder, you do realize that a man could hurt you far more when you play games like that.”

“Scully will you just drop it, look I’m here to work and nothing more.”

“Fine have it your way, there’s a file on your desk you might want to read.”

I picked up the file and was actually glad that she was finally silent, maybe throwing myself head on into this case would help my own mood somewhat. It turns out that the case was regarding some strange UFO sightings, so far there was five separate reports that I had to read through.

All the cases were practically identical and within a mile of each other, yet I noticed there was no message with regards to checking it out. Maybe that was how Skinner planned to punish me, he could stop me doing any field work and I’d be stuck here indefinitely.

“Scully has Skinner mentioned us checking it out?”

“Apparently Oregon police are dealing with it all at the moment, there are five sightings and two missing people.”

“How come there’s no mention of that in this file?”

“Because it’s the file I’m reading right now, I’ve nearly read it and then you can have it.”

“So, I take it the police don’t want our help then?”

“They sent the files over, first they want to look into the disappearances again and see if they fit in with the sightings. If they do, or there’s any more sightings we will have to go out and investigate.”

“Great I hate waiting.”

“Look Mulder Skinner said we are to read the files for now, also he wants you to check out your other files regarding Oregon.”

“Ha I have loads; I’d swear Oregon’s a central hot spot for aliens and their ships.”

“Yeah well time will tell, it could be people just wanting attention.”

“Yeah true Scully, people read the paper and invent stuff to fill their lonely lives and get attention.”

“Well we might be stuck here a few days, or in the end we might not even have to go.”

Finally, Scully handed me the other file, it turned out both the disappearances were male and in their thirties. According to the families the men were keen UFO hunters, their plan was to go and visit the supposed sightings to see if they would see anything too. So, it was possible they’d also being abducted, that or they also wanted to claim they’d discovered aliens.

Right now I wanted a coffee to wake me up, also to know that Alex had dealt with Skinner. In the end I told Scully I was taking a break, I decided to go to the canteen as I have very little time and couldn’t be bothered going to the coffee shop. The canteen was rather full and I had to wait in a long que, finally I managed to get my coffee and then went in search of a table. The only seat was at a table that was already occupied, well it looked like I had no choice as I went and sat down.

The other man turned out to be Agent Pendrill, I was glad it was an agent that I knew and wouldn’t take the piss out of me. No of course he wouldn’t, mainly because all he wanted to talk about was Agent Scully. I informed him that myself and her were only work partners and that he should ask her out, mainly it was for selfish reasons and she might get off my back if she was seeing someone.

We sat and talked for over half an hour while we drank our coffee, I actually found it rather refreshing just having a normal conversation for once. However soon we both had to move, we said our goodbyes and I returned to the basement and Scully.

“You took your time Mulder.”

“I decided to sit in the canteen for a change, why you don’t have a problem with that do you Scully?”

“No of course not, I just thought we could go through the files together that’s all.”

“Yeah okay, let me just get the other files out that I have on Oregon.”

It turned out I had another ten files regarding UFO sightings alone, then there were the ones regarding disappearances and abductions. I knew this would take some time to try and put it all in order, we’d have to go through every single one looking for connections.

We worked hard and had done most of them, however that was when Scully received a call from Skinner saying she was needed at Quantico. I assured her that I’d manage alone, also I’d work on the files and we would discuss it all tomorrow. So, I spent the next hour or so just reading the files, however that was when I heard the door open and someone enter. I just figured Scully had left something behind, well that was until I looked up and saw Alex stood there.

“Alex… Shit how did you get in here?”

“You should know better with regards to asking questions Fox.”

“Sorry, I just don’t want you getting into any trouble that’s all.”

“Don’t worry about me Fox, I’m more than capable of looking after myself.”

All I could do was sit there and watch Alex as he scanned the room with something, then suddenly he grabbed my chair and stood on it. At first I thought he’d lost the plot, however I was rather surprised when he opened the smoke detector and removed a small bug or something.

“Fox you need to start checking this room for bugs on a daily basis.”

“Do you know who put it there?”

“Yeah I did Fox, Spender ordered me to fit it so he could watch you.”

“Shit so he’s seen and heard everything we’ve said, shit when did you plant it there Alex?”

“Not too long ago, don’t worry about it Fox as you never said anything that was of any use to him. Spender sent me to punish and control you Fox, and that’s what I intend to keep on doing.”

“Good I like it when you control me.”

“Are you sure about that Fox?”

“What do you mean?”

“So, you like me controlling you and you’ll do everything that I say?”

“Yes of course I will.”

“Good, call Skinner and tell him you need him to come to your office as it’s urgent.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Just do it Fox or else…”

Shit I knew that Alex meant what he said, I also knew by the tone of his voice that I’d suffer if I didn.t do as he said. I was shaking as I called Skinner and told him I needed to see him with regards to the case and that it was urgent, then all I could do was watch as Alex stood there with the lead in his hand.

Shit at this rate I’d have a heart attack from the tension alone, however I was left sat there as Alex waited behind the door. It wasn’t too long before Skinner knocked on the door and then walked in, within seconds Alex had a gun jabbed deep into Skinners side.

“What the fuck is this Mulder, I might have known you’d have something to do with all this Krycek, why don’t you crawl back into a sewer where you belong?”

“Fox stand and give Skinner here your chair.”

“Mulder why are you taking orders from him, also why is he calling you Fox?”

“Sit the fuck down Skinner, you deal with me and don’t even speak to Fox unless I say so.”

All I could do was stand here and watch as Alex cuffed Skinners arms to the chair, he then pulled out a small black box that caused Skinner to look sick.

“Will the cuffs suffice Skinner, or would you rather me use this on you?”

“You know the answer to that Krycek, just tell me what the hell your game is and what you want…”

“Firstly, I’m going to explain a few things to you Skinner.”

“Fine get on with it then.”

“You will find the door locked and I have the key, also you might want to remember that this room is soundproofed.”

“Yeah I get it, I’m stuck here until you decide I can leave.”

“You learn fast Skinner. You will sit there and you won’t interfere with what I do to Fox, do you understand me?”

“No… shit what are you planning to do with him?”

“Look at it this way Skinner, if you interfere, I’ll kill you and still do as I please with Fox. Behave and you both get to live at the end of the day, you see this is a lesson for you Skinner.”

“A lesson, I don’t understand what the lesson is about.”

“Oh, you soon will, you see you ordered Fox here to remove the collar he wears.”

“Yes I did, how the hell do you know about that?”

“Think hard enough Skinner and you’ll figure it out, however only I have the authority to give him an order like that.”

“Oh shit it’s you…”

“Well aren’t you a clever boy, look sit there and shut up while I show you a lesson regarding discipline and your wayward agent. If you do speak or annoy me, I’ll use the palm pilot or gag you, so think long and hard before you say anything.”

I had stood there the entire time and was afraid to speak, I felt so conflicted about everything and that included the palm pilot. Right up until now I’d never known who’d done that to Skinner, now I couldn’t deny the fact that it was Alex that was capable of doing it. Shit that thought alone scared the hell out of me, that was just another reason why I didn’t dare refuse what Alex wanted.

I stood there frozen to the spot as Alex cleared my desk, well at least he’d put it all tidy in the corner so I’d find it all easy enough. Now though it worried me as to what might happen now, I just kept thinking about last night and how he’d used his belt on me. One thing I did know though, if Alex were to do it now the skin would break and I’d be in agony.

Once more I’d have to put all my trust in Alex, once he’d finished with Skinner he came over and hugged me tight and whispered things into my ear, I knew that he was trying to make me relax and listen to only him.

“Fox strip for me.”

Four simple little words and I was doing as he asked, however during the entire time I refused to make eye contact with Skinner. It was only as I stood here naked and Alex attached the lead that he spoke, I think it had finally sunk in as to who my lover is.

“Why Mulder…”

“Shut the fuck up Skinner, well unless you want me to hurt the pair of you.”

“No, I don’t want any violence.”

“Yeah I thought you’d see it my way, Fox come over here with me and stand next to the desk.”

I did as Alex said, shit then it was in full view of Skinner that he started playing with my cock. The minute he made me hard Alex placed the cock ring on to make sure I never came anytime soon. Once again he kissed me, however this time it was on the lips and was a full passionate kiss.

“Lean over the desk Fox, no not that way. I want you to stand at the front of your desk and lean over, yeah that’s perfect.”

I realized that from this angle Skinner had a full view of my backside and whatever Alex decided to do to me, once happy Alex tied the lead to the table leg restricting my movement somewhat.

“Stay in that position Fox and don’t move unless I say so.”

“Yeah okay Alex.”

“Are you going to behave Fox, that or do I have to cuff and gag you?”

“I promise that I’ll behave.”

“You see Skinner, Fox is happy with me and how I treat him.”

“Yeah right, I bet you have him drugged or something.”

“I can assure you he’s not drugged; you can always run a blood test if that’s what you think.”

“I might just do that.”

“Well on with the show, otherwise no one will be going home today.”

Alex leant forward and ran his hand up and down my spine a few times, finally he stopped and pulled out the butt plug without any warning at all. I could feel as my erection throbbed with anticipation, however I knew the cock ring was there for a reason and I wouldn’t find relief anytime soon.

“You have to realize Skinner that Fox here is a very passionate man, passion that extends well past his career alone. You see he’s spent so many years chasing aliens and ghosts and that was his life, now he’s learnt that his needs do matter and that he has a life other than his job.”

“Is that what you call this thing he has with you; shit I wouldn’t even know what the hell to call it even if I tried.”

“It’s called a relationship Skinner; sorry I guess you don’t know too much about them, do you?”

“I was married for years Krycek, that’s why I know what you have is far from healthy.”

“Well I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on it, I enjoy it and so does Fox and that’s all that matters.”

“What, he enjoys the fact that you strip him and humiliate him in front of his boss?”

“Fox only has to please one person in life and that’s me, I take care of everything else for him.”

“You’re both as fucked up as each other, maybe that’s why it works so well for you both.”

“Whatever, right less talking or you suffer a lot of pain Skinner, interfere and Fox here will suffer.”

They argued and disagreed while I lay here fully exposed, if Alex wanted to fuck me in front of Skinner, I wish he’d get a move on and do it. Soon he was near me and kicked my legs wide apart and pushed a finger into my backside. I groaned out loud as I was so turned on right now, also he easily worked a couple more fingers deep inside me, I presumed he’d planned it and that was why he’d used the butt plug.

Soon I knew that fucking me wasn’t what Alex had planned, I knew the minute I felt him force his knuckles deep inside me causing pain. I tried so hard to breathe and relax before his hand fully entered my ass, yet I couldn’t help but moan as he stretched his hand out and moved it around. After a few seconds that hand turned into a fist and Alex pounded it against my prostate, over and over again he kept it up.

“Fuck you’re so fuckin hot Fox, you’re such a fuckin slut and a turn on. Well Skinner here seems to like the view, especially as he watches my hand disappear inside you. Who knows, hell maybe Skinner wants to have a go too, the man has got rather large hands Fox, even more to fill and fuck that tight ass of yours.”

“I don’t want to do anything like that to him, Agent Mulder is one of my best agents.”

“How about if I order you to do it Skinner?”

“It wouldn’t work, use the palm pilot as I won’t touch him.”

“Oh, it’s not that easy Skinner, you’ll do it or I’ll hurt Fox so bad that he’ll never forgive you for refusing.”

“You fuckin bastard.”

“Hey, I never claimed to be anything less. Fox I want you to move yourself as I move the table, just go backwards until I tell you to stop.”

I did as Alex asked, shit even knowing that I was now closer to Skinner. I was covered in sweat now and felt sick and lightheaded, I knew that Alex was right and Skinner had rather large hands. Hell I only just coped with Alex doing it, and all I could do was hope Alex stopped him before he was fully inside me. I could hear the cuff rattle as Alex unlocked it, after that he slapped my backside and spoke to Skinner.

“See how can you resist that Skinner?”

“Fuck you Krycek.”

“Do it Skinner or you will suffer along with Fox.”

Oh shit I soon realized that Alex had to prove he meant what he said, I knew that was why he’d purposely grabbed my balls hard enough to make me moan in pain.

“Last chance Skinner.”

I braced myself as I felt his hand near my backside, shit then soon he was forcing his fingers inside me without even stopping. It was when he got as far as his knuckles that he slowed down somewhat, yet the pain was excruciating as he finally started moving once more. I’d swear that his knuckles scraped my insides raw, oh fuck and then he was inside and made a fist with his hand.

I’d swear that his knuckles were tearing my insides apart, however I knew it was about to get worse as Alex forced him to go even deeper and faster.

“Do it like you actually want to do it Skinner, no stalling now or pussy footing around. Fuck him hard, pull your hand out and force it back inside his tight body. That’s it, come on imagine that it’s your cock that’s buried deep inside his gorgeous ass.”

“I fuckin hate you, one day sooner or later you’ll pay for this Krycek.”

“Like I give a shit about your opinion Skinner, you know that you answer to Spender just as I do.”

I tried to block out both their voices, right now all I wanted was for the pain and humiliation to end. Maybe Skinner was right and I was brainwashed or something, was it normal to let someone humiliate you to this extent. Shit then I remembered how Alex had never claimed to love me, apparently, he needed and wanted me. On its own that wouldn’t be enough to suffer this, however the love I had for him was.

My love for Alex was the only reason I was still sprawled over the desk in the first place, I wasn’t even fully restrained yet I still hadn’t moved or fought Skinner. Soon Skinner was forcing his hand even further inside me and I screamed in agony, I’d swear the man had sharp nails or was wearing a ring. To my relief Alex told him to remove his hand, at that point I felt nothing but relief. Alex came around to where my face was and started kissing me, I then watched as he untied the lead from the desk leg.

“Fox, I want you to come and lean over this side of the desk, I want you to face Skinner and show him how much you want me.”

“Yeah okay I think I can move.”

I went to the other side of the desk and leant forward, I soon realized I preferred Skinner seeing my ass rather than my face. Suddenly I felt really hot and embarrassed as I faced my boss, then Alex was behind me and forcing my legs apart once more.

“Do you want to come Fox?”

“God yes…”

“I’m going to fuck you and then I’ll let you come, is that what you want Fox?”

“Yes, I need to feel you inside me and make me yours again.”

“Well I hope you’re listening Skinner.”

I forgot everything as Alex entered me without any resistance, I guess my ass was stretched enough to easy accommodate him now. Alex fucked me for a few minutes and was soon coming deep inside me, then he pulled out and made me stand and face Skinner.

“I’m going to remove the cock ring Fox, then I want you to come for me okay lover…”

“Yes, please do it Alex.”

Within seconds the ring was gone and I came all over the desk, I then struggled to keep my feet as my body was well and truly exhausted now. I did remain standing there though as Alex freed Skinner, I was actually surprised that he didn’t try hitting Alex or something.

“So, you’ve seen for yourself Skinner, Fox wants me and will wear the collar unless I say otherwise.”

“Have it your way Krycek, I do have to wonder if Spender knows about the games you’re playing?”

“That has nothing to do with you Skinner, you mind your own business and do as I say or else.”

“Or else what? Do you actually think that I’m scared of you? I will keep my mouth shut so that you don’t hurt Mulder, beyond that I’d rather never have to set eyes on you again.”

“Well that makes two of us, you can leave now so Fox can clean up and go home.”

Skinner never spoke as he turned and left my office, it was then that Alex took me in his arms and held me tight. I couldn’t stop the tears that fell upon his shoulder, I truly didn’t even know whether the tears were out of love or hate for what I’d just done. Skinner was my boss after all, also how would I face him in the future when I was alone.

“Hey, are you okay Fox?”

“I’m just tired, all I want is to go home and have a long hot bath.”

“Get dressed then and we can leave, at least you’ll no longer have Skinner on your back all the time.”

I knew that Skinner wouldn’t just drop what had happened, he’d blame Alex and try to make me see him as nothing more than a dirty rat bastard. Yeah well at the end of the day I loved him and nothing anyone said would change that, so I remained quiet and re dressed myself. That was the main reason I wanted to go home and have a bath, I wanted to wash every trace of Skinner from my body.

Once done I quickly tidied up my desk and put it back as it was, that way hopefully Scully would be none the wiser as to what actually happened in our office. Soon Alex grabbed my hand and led me out of the building the way he’d entered, and once outside I was glad to get in the car and finally go home. This had started out as just a normal workday, yet it had ended far different from what I’d expected. Sometimes I wished Alex would just let me leave permanently, that way I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone other than him.

We arrived back at Hegal place and was soon inside, it was funny how I now thought of the place as ours and not mine now. Six weeks and my life had changed so much, yet I knew I’d always put Alex before anyone else including Scully. The man had worked himself deep inside my heart and my life, I didn’t even think I’d survive now if he left me.

Alex ran a bath for me and left me alone for now, apparently he planned to order a Chinese takeaway for us as it was late now. As for me, I added more hot water and tried to scrub myself clean after what Skinner had done. All I wanted was to be clean once more, then next on the agenda was food and sleep.

Night time came and I lay there wide awake, I could hear Alex breathing and knew he was fast asleep. I was mentally and physically exhausted and so badly wanted sleep to come, yet I had a feeling I’d be on edge until I’d faced Skinner and dealt with what Alex had made him do. So, when the alarm finally went off I was shattered, yet I got up and did all the usual routine and drove to work.

I went straight to my office and was pleased to be here alone; however it wasn’t too long before Scully joined me. Apparently, there were a couple more sightings in Oregon along with another missing person, according to the police they had no real leads. At this rate we’d end up having to go there once more, shit then I thought about Alex and how I’d cope away without him. For now, I had to keep myself occupied and not think about it unless it happened, so I buckled down and read all the new information and discussed my thoughts with Scully.

We both went through the files and realized the police had nothing really, if we had to go out there we’d be starting from scratch and having to interview everyone ourselves. Hell, even if it were aliens no one would believe me, also there would be very little we could do while out there. It was the phone that finally distracted me from my thoughts, however I decided to let Scully answer it.

“Skinner wants to see you in his office Mulder.”

“What just me?”

“Yeah apparently so, have you been a naughty boy Mulder?”

“No, did he even say what it was about?”

“He said it was regarding a case you worked on a couple of years ago, he said he’d also let you know his thoughts on our current case too.”

“So why only me, you’re working on this case too Scully.”

“Mulder stop acting like a baby will you… You will already be there seeing him about something else, so it makes more sense him telling you while you’re there.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

I grabbed my jacket and made my way to the fourth floor; I was surprised to find Kimberly’s desk empty and realized it must be lunch time. I was even contemplating leaving as Skinner opened his door, however he’d seen me and I knew there was no way out of seeing him now.

“Come in Agent Mulder and take a seat.”

“Yes Sir.”

I sat in the chair facing his large desk and started fidgeting, just looking at his desk brought back memories of yesterday. It wasn’t long before Skinner resumed his position behind the desk, he then just sat there watching me and I fidgeted even more.

“You’re very quiet Agent Mulder.”

“What?”

“You heard me; you don’t have much to say when Alex isn’t around. Forget that, thinking about it you didn’t say much when he was there either.”

“Look just tell me why I’m here Sir?”

“I would have thought that was obvious Agent Mulder wouldn’t you…”

“Just humour me then and answer the question.”

“We have to work together Agent Mulder and I’m your superior, maybe I want to discuss what possessed one of my agents to let himself be used in such a way?”

“Nothing possessed me Sir, I love Alex and we are a couple.”

“Jesus Christ listen to yourself Mulder, do you honestly believe that he loves you, or that what you did is normal?”

“It’s how Alex is, I know how he feels about me Sir.”

“Are you aware that I could have you kicked out of the bureau for shacking up with a wanted man?”

“Do that Sir and I’ll destroy you; I could soon go to Kerch and tell him all about you and Spender.”

“Yeah I bet you would too.”

“Just stay out of my personal life Sir, then that way I won’t have a reason will I?”

“I once actually respected you as an agent, shit now I have very little respect for you at all.”

“That’s your choice Sir.”

“Agent Mulder how can anyone have respect for you after what you did, do you think Scully would still respect you if she knew?”

“You can leave her out of it Sir, this is between me and you and no one else.”

“Yes, well I find it hard to respect someone who behaved no better than a common slut.”

“Fuck you Sir…”

“What’s up Agent Mulder does the truth hurt, come on you can tell me how you did it. Tell me how you could just lay there and let your boss fuck you with his fist, how you could let someone use you and humiliate you in front of your boss too?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Of course I don’t fuckin understand Mulder, that’s why I’m asking you to explain it to me now.”

“I gave myself to Alex, it was my decision to let him be in charge of this relationship.”

“Shit yeah maybe if it was something you did together, however that changes Mulder when he practically let’s someone come along and use you. It’s hardly any better than rape, and you can sit there and call it a relationship.”

“If it’s what Alex wants, I’ll agree with it, I trust him to know what’s right and not to let things go too far.”

“So, let me get this straight Agent Mulder, so if I wanted to fist you now you’d agree?”

“Of course not.”

“Yet on the say so of one man you’d let me, even knowing what you do about Alex Krycek.”

“Yes.”

“Do you not realize how fucked up you sound Agent Mulder, tell me did you like having my fist shoved up your backside so deep that I could feel your insides. Did you like having your boss watch as Alex Krycek fucked you and made you come…”

“Why the hell are you doing this to me Sir?”

“You need to wake up and face things Agent Mulder, it was no longer a game between the two of you. You brought in someone else and used them to fuel your sadistic and petty games. Do you not realize how I felt Agent Mulder, how it felt having someone force you to do that to someone else?”

“Stop it, just fuckin stop it and leave me alone.”

I couldn’t take anymore of the accusations from him, also the constant reminder of what I’d become. I jumped to my feet and ran to the door, however I collapsed to the floor and cried when I realized it was locked.

“Look at yourself Agent Mulder, can you honestly say that this is normal behaviour? You yourself are one of the best profilers around, maybe you should try profiling yourself or that bastard you’re shacked up with.”

“Please don’t call him that…”

“Why when it’s the truth.”

“Because I love him and I think I always have.”

“Agent Mulder you need help, how can I let you work when you can’t even hold yourself together?”

“Please don’t take my job away from me.”

“Agree to get help then, go and see a councillor and discuss this behaviour and see if they think you’re normal.”

“Fine if it gets you off my back.”

“Well I guess it’s a start, maybe you need some time away from each other so you can think clearly.”

“We are apart when I’m at work.”

“I meant longer than that Agent Mulder, look you and Scully can go check out that case in Oregon and you can have some time apart.”

“So, what happens if I come back and nothing’s changed?”

“Well there won’t be much I can do; however, you can tell Krycek to leave me out of his little games.”

“I’ll try…”

“Yeah well you had damn well better hope he listens, that or I guarantee he’ll regret the day he ever crossed me.”

“I’ll tell him, look can I go now Sir?”

“Yes, however tomorrow morning you will be leaving for Oregon.”

“Fine, I guess I better go and tell Scully.”

I went to the basement and told Scully that she had to pack for Oregon, also that Skinner believed we’d be away for a couple of nights. Once done I went to my car and drove home, I just prayed that Alex never mentioned Skinner as I didn’t want to lie to him.

When I arrived home Alex was already there and sat on the couch, I couldn’t help but notice how annoyed he looked and wondered if the anger was directed at me. I decided to walk straight past him and go into the bedroom, as Alex himself had ordered me to do if he was already here.

I soon stripped out of my suit and just sat there one the bed thinking, I was unsure whether to get a shower or just go out there and face him and whatever had pissed him off now. I love the man so much, however even I had to admit that he could sulk worse than a two year old throwing a tantrum.

I sat there for a few more minutes and then stood up, fuck this I’d just go out there and deal with him, oh and also mention that I have to leave for a couple of days at the least. Alex was still sat there on the couch sulking, that was the main reason I went straight over to the door and knelt there with my head down. I heard the leather creak on the new couch and instantly missed my old one, however that was soon forgotten as Alex came over and grabbed my hair so I was forced to face him.

“So how was your day Fox?”

“Okay I guess.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It was just a usual day Alex I swear…”

“Hmmm why do I find that hard to believe, I know Skinner and I also know he’d try to make you see sense. So, I ‘ll ask you again Fox, how was your day?”

“Okay I’m sorry, Skinner hardly spoke to me and just said that I should get help… Skinner claims what we have isn’t normal at all.”

“So, what did you say Fox?”

“I told him I’m happy with you and what we have.”

“For now I’ll have to take your word Fox, however if I learn different you will be severely punished.”

“I understand Alex, there is something you should know though.”

“What would that be Fox?”

“Skinner’s sending myself and Scully to Oregon for a couple of days on a case.”

“The dirty low life fuckin bastard, I bet he had it all planned as a way to separate us.”

“I don’t see the point, especially as I’ll be coming straight back home to you Alex.”

“There’s food on the table Fox, go and eat it as I have some calls to make.”

I didn’t argue with Alex, instead I just stood and went over to the table. I’d let him make his calls alone, and then pray that some of the anger was gone by the time he finished. Great it looked like it was just some sandwiches for dinner, not that it mattered as I felt sick from the lies I’d told Alex. Then again how would he know it was a lie, I’m sure Skinner wouldn’t want to drop himself in it and suffer Alex once more.

I ate the food despite feeling sick, once done I remained at the table until Alex said I could move. I had no idea who the hell he was calling or what was said, I just knew by the tone that he was still pissed off over something. After a while I got up and washed the plate and mug I’d used, it was then that Alex walked into the kitchen.

“Have you any idea where you’re staying Fox?”

“No, we usually just find a motel when we get there.”

“As soon as you get there call me, I want to know the name of the motel and the room number.”

“Yeah okay I will do.”

Alex ordered me to go and sit on the couch and wait for him, I have to admit I was surprised when he returned with the vodka and two glasses. Soon he flicked the television on and tuned in to the local news channel, then afterwards he poured both of us a large glass of vodka and sat beside me. That was how we remained for a couple of hours; however I noticed my one glass would have to last me all night. I soon noticed that Alex had given up on his own glass, and the bottle that was full was now empty. Alex had given in using the glass and had just drank from the bottle instead, I knew things could get out of hand when he was this drunk.

I decided to just sit here and listen to the news, maybe that way Alex would fall asleep where he sat and I’d be left alone. Shame I’d forgotten just how horny Alex got when he drank, suddenly he stood and turned the television off just before grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

“Go lay on the bed Fox and wait there.”

“Okay, do you want me on my back or stomach?”

“Lay on your stomach Fox, I’ll only be a minute anyway.”

I did as Alex asked, it was only a couple of minutes and he returned to the bedroom naked. He then knelt between my legs and leant over my back, it felt so good at first as he kissed me down my spine. So many little kisses on me up and down my back and then my neck, shit then I cried out as his teeth sank into my shoulder.

“Lay still Fox.”

“Please, it hurts Alex…”

“Shit you think that hurts, believe me you know fuck all Fox.”

I could hear him mumbling to himself, saying I should ask Skinner about pain and what he could do to him. I gave up trying to understand what he was saying, shit that was when he bit my other shoulder even harder. It was a natural reaction to try and push him away and rub my shoulder, however Alex was fast and grabbed hold of my wrist tight. Shit soon I was screaming out as another pain ripped through my arm and shoulder, Alex had my arm bent up and across my back farther than what was normal.

“Piss me off or stop me and I’ll fuckin break it.”

“God I’m so sorry Alex, I just don’t understand what I’ve done wrong…”

“You really don’t get it do you Fox?”

“Get what?”

“I have Skinners office under surveillance, I can access the recording via the web and my phone.”

“Oh shit, Alex please I…”

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t want to hear a single word Fox, well unless you want me to bend your arm even more.”

“No please…”

“I’ve only seen a few seconds of the tape Fox; you had your chance to tell me the truth but you lied. So, I’m going to let the matter drop for now as you’ll be away anyway, however when you return we can both go see Skinner and watch it together in his office.”

Shit I knew he’d hear everything that Skinner said and know I’d covered for him, I knew that Alex would believe I’d betrayed him and didn’t want to make skinner suffer anymore. I knew that Skinner would now suffer far worse, also I’d be made to suffer too.

“I’ve already told you that I see everything Fox, piss me off too much and I’ll drag you back to the club and let every man there fuck you…”

“I’m sorry Alex…”

“I said shut the fuck up, right I’ve had enough of listening to you moan all the time.”

Alex got to his feet and staggered towards the bedpost, he then restrained one of my hands and then the other. Now I was faced down and knew I couldn’t go anywhere, just to make matters worse he decided to blind fold me too. I’d thought Alex was past this, especially as I’d spent the last two nights without any restraints at all. Shit I lay there and cried silently as he fucked me, when Alex was drunk he never bothered using anything that would make it easier on me.

Things were worse for me when he finally came, Alex collapsed over me and was soon snoring quietly.

“Alex wake up, come on you can’t sleep there…”

“Go to sleep Fox…”

Great Alex managed to talk to me in his sleep and still remained over me, finally I fell into a very troubled sleep and dreamt I was back in Skinners office once more. It was the alarm that finally woke me and I realized it was morning, oh and I also realized Alex hadn’t even moved.

“Alex, come on wake up.”

“Just let me sleep a bit more, also stop shouting as I have a headache.”

“Whatever, look just remove the cuffs and blindfold.”

“Soon, just let me sleep a bit longer.”

“Alex move now.”

“Shit what’s so urgent Fox?”

“I have to go to work Alex, also I have to pick Scully up at eight too.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s seven now and I need a shower.”

Alex stood and removed all the restraints; he then lay back down and told me to keep the noise down. It was nearly eight once I was fully packed and ready, Alex was still fast asleep and snoring when I let myself out. I drove over to Scullys and was actually pleased to have some time alone, and it felt good to just be myself and have no one telling me what I could and couldn’t do.

I was thankful that Scully was ready and waiting for me, also she never mentioned the fact that I was twenty minutes late. Maybe I would get a break and she’d stop having a go at me, also on the upside it was a couple of days without Skinner breathing down my neck.

I drove to the airport and checked us both in, we had a six hour direct flight to Oregon, once there we’d rent a car and find a bed and breakfast. Well at least the flight went far faster than I’d expected, I did have to suffer Scully moaning about my company though. Not that I can see why it was my fault I slept for all of it, personally I should blame Alex for keeping me awake most of the night.

Soon we had our baggage and a rental car, some tiny little thing despite the fact I’m over six foot tall and could hardly fit in.

“Mulder I can always drive if you want?”

“It’s not funny Scully.”

“Believe me it is from where I’m standing.”

“Well tough as I’m driving regardless of the car.”

“That’s very sexist Mulder, I do know how to drive a car!”

“Ha, I’m surprised your little legs can reach the pedals.”

“You’ll pay for that remark Mulder.”

“Yeah whatever, just get in so we can find a place to stay.”

I drove to the closest motel to the police station, I figured that would make it far easier to deal with this case and get it over with faster. We were given two single rooms and both decided to go and unpack our stuff, then we’d take a trip over to the station and talk with the officer in charge. I pulled out my phone and decided to give Alex a quick call, he finally answered on the third attempt.

“Alex it’s me, where were you?”

“Busy, so I take it you’ve arrived?”

“Yeah we’ve just rented our rooms so I thought I’d give you a quick call.”

“So where are you staying Fox?”

“It’s the travel inn just up the road from the city police department.”

“Okay and what’s the room number?”

“Does it really matter Alex?”

“Fox just tell me the room number.”

“Fine it’s one four two.”

“See, that wasn’t that hard was it Fox.”

“Alex what will you do while I’m away?”

“A bit of this and a bit or that, nothing that you need to be concerned about.”

“Yeah okay, look I’m sorry I asked okay…”

“Fox don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Sulk when I’m not there to deal with you.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to.”

“Look I’ll call you later and then we’ll talk some more, just deal with the case and do your job until then.”

“Okay I will do, oh and Alex…”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“Yeah I know.”

With that the phone went dead as Alex hung up, I knew he’d be pissed off with me saying that to him all the time. Well I was sure when he phoned later he’d tell me, for now I had to deal with Scully and go visit the local law enforcement.

“Mulder, we have a couple of witnesses to visit and a site to look at where one of the people was last seen.”

“So, what are you suggesting Scully?”

“I thought if we split up, we’d get more done.”

“Yeah possibly, so what do you want to do then?”

“I can go and visit the witnesses, while you could go and meet the officer and visit the site.”

“Yeah okay you’ve got a deal, I bet you just want to drive that car?”

“Very funny, well at least I’ll fit in it without a problem.”

“Yeah just take care Scully.”

“I will do, you too Mulder.”

“Hey did you notice the diner on the corner?”

“Yeah why?”

“I thought we could meet up there at about six.”

“Sounds good, see you then Mulder.”

“Yeah okay.”

I took a slow walk over to the police station and waited in a que, however I was called into a side room as soon as I flashed my badge. The officer there stood up and shook my hand, he then closed the door behind me and sat down.

“It’s good of you to come Agent Mulder, I’m Theo by the way.”

“It’s good to meet you Theo, everyone just calls me Mulder.”

“Very well Mulder it is, I’m aware that you’ve read all the case files and appear to be as stumped as we are.”

“Yeah that’s why I thought I’d come out here and take a look around, can I just ask if you believe what the people saw to be real?”

“You’re asking if I believe in flying saucers and little green men?”

“Yeah, also their little grey men.”

“Well I take it that you believe Agent Mulder, as for me I think people see what they want to see. People see strange lights and it’s an alien ship, they never stop to think it could just be a plane or something.”

“Is that possible?”

“Anything’s possible, however we do have someone only a few miles away that has a lot of laser displays at night.”

“Do you know if there were any shows on the night in question?”

“Yes, however everyone said it ended by ten, the witnesses claim this happened much later though.”

“I take it the people that disappeared were in the same vicinity?”

“Yeah pretty much so.”

“I’d like to take a look around if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah knock yourself out Agent Mulder, I’ll even take you there if you want?”

“I’d appreciate that.”

Theo drove us out to a field that was on the outskirts of the town, from here I saw nothing at all of any great interest.

“Three people all claim they saw lights over this field, also over there in the corner there’s a tent.”

“Okay so who does the tent belong to?”

“Apparently the couple that have disappeared, they disappear and everyone believes they were abducted because they were in this field.”

“Would it be okay to look in the tent?”

“Yeah of course you can, it was sealed off as evidence but we found nothing useful.”

I walked over to the tent and opened it up, one look inside revealed a large sleeping bag and a few clothes. It was obvious that the occupants were male and female, well unless one of them was into wearing women’s clothes.

“So according to the file one was a male of thirty two, also a female that was eighteen.”

“Yes, that’s correct Agent Mulder.”

“I notice the age difference, does anyone know if they were a couple?”

“Nobody really saw them together; I presume they were if they slept here in a tent together.”

“Okay are there any relatives here?”

“Yeah both have parents living close by.”

“Could you arrange for me to meet them tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I can do, I do know that the young girl had an argument with her parents only a few days ago.”

“Do you know what it was about?”

“I’m not sure as we were called because of the noise, her parents refused to file a complaint against her and kicked her out.”

“Well I’ll have to try myself tomorrow.”

“Yeah okay, come on I’ll drive you back to the station.”

Once back we said our goodbyes and I walked over to the diner, it was only five so I sat there and had a coffee while I waited for Scully. When she finally arrived we bought a pizza and discussed what each of us had learnt. It turned out that the witnesses described flashing lights high up in the sky, one minute they were there and then they’d gone.

We both finished our food and decided we’d look into it more after a good night’s sleep, she would visit the other witness and I’d go see the girl’s parents. To be honest I would be glad to call it a day and go to bed, ha not that I ever slept much in these places and was thankful for cable.

I entered my room and stripped out of my clothes, once that was done I went for a quick shower and would call it a night. Soon I was done and grabbed a towel and tied it around my waist, I re-entered to the room and presumed the bulb had blown and then I felt the hand go around my mouth.

I was about to kick out at my attacker until I felt the gun against my head, soon I was shoved face first down onto the bed and the towel was yanked away. I tried to look around and all I noticed was the black mask, hell maybe I could talk my way out of this and they’d let me go.

“I have money and some other stuff; look you can have it all if that’s what you want.”

Shit I felt the bed dip and a gloved hand squeeze my backside, that was when I realized it wasn’t money that they wanted. Shit this really couldn’t be happening to me right now, I was a full grown man and a federal agent.

“Please don’t do this, look my wallets on the table.”

I realized my mistake however it was too late to do anything about it now, next to my wallet was the cuffs and my attacker had seen them. The man calmly reached over and cuffed my hands behind my back, just to make it worse he stuffed something into my mouth to silence me and used my own tie as a blind fold. I felt sick as I heard the man remove his own clothes, especially as I knew I’d be no match against him cuffed like this.

I felt him move away from the bed and prayed it was all a joke, shit five minutes later he returned and started squeezing my ass once more. Within seconds the man was leaning over me and running something cold along my spine, I felt the slight sting and realized it was a fuckin knife he was using.

I tried to push up and get him off me, yet all that did was make him move the knife even lower. I could feel as the cold metal as it ran between my ass cheeks and rubbed against my balls, sweat dripped off me and I was afraid to move at all.

I was so thankful when I heard the knife drop onto the table, then it was even worse as I felt his tongue lick along the small cuts as he cleaned them. I felt sick and couldn’t even scream with the fear I suddenly felt, each time I protested and tried to move I suffered even more. Suddenly he had his gloved hands around my throat and started squeezing it tight, I saw stars and knew I’d black out soon from the lack of oxygen. Everything started to turn black, then just as fast his hands were gone and I struggled to breathe through the gag I wore.

Part of me wished Scully would call to see me, maybe there was something that would make her come in here. I knew that her room was right next to mine, hell her bed was most likely against the same wall as mine. I contemplated trying to move, even if I could knock something over or cause a loud noise so she’d come. Scully was dependable like that and always worried about me, shit then I realized my attacker could hurt her too.

It looked like I was literally fucked and there was no way out of this mess, shit how the hell would I be able to explain myself to Alex too. I knew myself and how I felt, that was how I knew I wouldn’t just get over this and people would know. Every time Alex touched me I’d think back to this moment, that would be when he’d realize and know that I was well and truly dirty.

The tears soaked into the blindfold as I accepted my fate, I suddenly felt the man part my ass cheeks and then something blunt pressed against my tight hole. Deep down I knew that I should relax and make it easier on myself, yet part of my brain thought I could keep the offending object out. Soon though I heard the man spit and knew that was all he planned to use; I could feel the tension as he forced his erection into the small hole. The skin stretched until he forced himself past the ring of muscle, then once inside he started fucking me with everything that he had.

The pain was too much, however now I felt so dirty and knew even Alex wouldn’t want me now. That’s when my body finally went limp and gave in, nothing mattered to this man other than his own needs and pleasure. Shit then I felt one of his gloved hands reach down and in between my legs, the man then started rubbing my cock until it became hard and my own body betrayed me.

How the fuck could my body do this to me? Shit I was so turned on yet so fuckin scared at the same time, it was then that I lost it and came all over the mans gloved hand. I should have felt relief that it was over, yet now the tears really flowed when the realisation hit me. A total fuckin stranger had reduced me to nothing more than a slut, it was then that I heard my attacker start to breathe really heavy.

The man suddenly grabbed the collar that I still wore and pulled it tight, I honestly thought he was going to kill me as he came inside me. I felt his erection soften and him finally pull out, yet he just remained where he was. I felt like a bug under a microscope and wondered if the man was also a murderer, I had visions of Scully walking in here tomorrow and finding me dead.

I realized I’d have my answer soon enough as I felt him move, the mattress shifted when the man stood up and removed my cuffs. I knew it was pointless trying to grab my gun under the circumstances, I decided the best thing I could do was just lay here and pray that he left. Finally the blindfold was removed, yet it was far too dark and my eyes would need time to adjust once more. Then I jumped as his hand came down hard and slapped my backside, however it was when he spoke that I really lost it.

“Well it was good for me, how about you Fox?”

“You fuckin bastard.”

I was off the bed in seconds and lunged at Alex, I slammed into him hard and had him pinned against the wall. It was then that I raised my fist and punched him full on in the stomach.

“How the fuck could you do that to me Alex?”

“It was meant to be fun Fox.”

Alex was doubled over and winded, so I took my chance and grabbed my gun from near the bed. I knew I wouldn’t kill him, however I wanted him to feel fear just as I had. Soon I was back in front of him once more, this time though I shoved the gun against his temple and removed the safety.

“I should kill you right now Alex, everyone would believe that it was self defence and that you broke in here.”

“Go on the Fox, do it pull the fuckin trigger if that’s what you want…”

Suddenly we both jumped as the room door flew open and Scully walked in, she already had her gun in her hand too. She looked around and noticed Alex there fully clothed, shit then I remembered I was stood here totally naked.

“What’s going on Mulder?”

“Just go Scully, I can deal with this myself.”

“Mulder I could hear you shouting from my room, what the hell is he doing here anyway and where’s your clothes Mulder?”

“I’d just got out of the shower Scully, don’t worry though as I can handle him.”

Shit Alex suddenly went to grab something out of his pocket, Scully had seen and presumed he was pulling out a gun or something. I watched in horror as she aimed the gun at Alex and removed the safety.

“Mulder move out of the way.”

“I can’t Scully.”

“What do you mean you can’t, move Mulder as I have a clear shot from here.”

I pulled Alex’s hand out of his pocket and looked inside myself, it appeared that he was grabbing a bottle of pills.

“Mulder I said move.”

“I won’t let you kill him Scully.”

With that I lowered my own weapon and stood in front of Alex, that was when Scully realized I’d protect Alex and even put myself in the way of a bullet.

“What the hell are you doing Mulder?”

“Scully I want you to leave, shit I really didn’t want you to find out like this. Shit and you can wipe that grin off your face Alex as I’ll deal with you afterwards.”

“What didn’t you want me to find out Mulder, also why did you call him Alex?”

“Shit… oh well here goes… Alex is my lover.”

“What?”

“You heard me Scully.”

“What? does he have something on you Mulder, is he blackmailing you and forcing you to say that?”

“No Scully, look go and phone Skinner if you don’t believe me.”

“Fine have it your way Mulder, I will phone Skinner and just pray that this is all a lie.”

“Look I’m sorry Scully…”

“Don’t say anything else Mulder, just the thought of you with him makes me feel sick.”

With that Scully turned and left slamming the door behind her, now I had to figure out what would happen with myself and Alex.”

“Well that sure as hell told her Fox.”

“Fuck you Alex, shit you made me think someone was raping me and that I could actually die.”

“I thought you’d realize that it was me, that was the main reason I kept the gloves and jacket on.”

“Fuck you, right now I just want to be left alone so I can sort my own head out.”

“You don’t mean that Fox…”

“Yes I do, I’m going in the bathroom to shower and clean up, be gone when I get out.”

“Don’t piss me off Fox, you know as well as I do that I was sent to deal with you.”

“Is that a threat Alex?”

“I can always go back to how it was before, one day you might just disappear and end up back in restraints.”

“Go now, that or I will put a bullet in you.”

I went into the bathroom and took a shower, all I wanted was to wash all the sweat and tears away for now. I wanted Alex to be gone, yet this large part of me prayed that he’d still be out there waiting for me. This time I opened the bathroom door with caution, not that I had to bother as the room was empty and I was alone once more.

I decided to re dress and go out, right now I didn’t want to be in this room as it made me think about everything. Maybe I could find a good bar somewhere and drown my sorrows, I decided to ask at the main office if there were any good places within walking distance.

Soon I found myself in a quiet little bar, not that I cared what it looked like as long as it sold vodka. My main goal was to get totally hammered, fuck them all and fuck this pathetic case too.

I left there a few hours later and could barely stand up, maybe that was the reason it took me ages to find my way back to the motel. I had no idea what time it was now, however once inside my room I collapsed upon the unmade bed and could smell Alex. Shit why hadn’t I smelt the leather and his scent earlier, maybe if I had it would have saved me all the emotional torment.

I drifted into a troubled sleep once again, however this time I woke to the sound of someone pounding on my door. I stood up and the room started spinning, I had to literally hold on to the wall as I opened the door.

“Mulder are you drunk?”

“No that passed and now I have a hangover.”

“We are supposed to be out here on a case Mulder.”

“Yeah well you’ll have to deal with it today, I spoke to someone at the bar last night and it’s obvious what happened.”

“Go on then, tell me what you think happened Mulder.”

“The man is a thirty two year old teacher; the girl is his eighteen year old student. They will be having a relationship, the girl’s mother found out and threw her out, and my guess is that they ran away together.”

“Fine I’ll go and see if I can find out anything, also we still need to talk Mulder.”

“Scully there’s nothing to discuss, I’ve already told you about myself and Alex.”

“Jesus Mulder, the man killed your father and is nothing but scum.”

“Not now Scully, shit I already have a headache without you making it worse.”

“Fine I’ll be over later, also I haven’t managed to speak with Skinner yet.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll have plenty to talk about when you do.”

“Just go sleep it off Mulder.”

I watched as Scully turned and left, all I wanted to do was take some meds and sleep this hangover off. The minute I lay down the memory of last night came back, also how I’d forced Alex to leave. I loved him so much, yet part of me still hated some of the games he played with me. Yet that was who Alex is, I had to accept him with all his faults or let him go.

I started thinking about what he’d said last night, would he really drag me back to that club if I ended it with him. God this was all just so fucked up, to Alex I was nothing more than a job with benefits. I knew he would force me to do as he said no matter what, also that was better than having Spender on my back.

I picked up my phone and called my apartment, the phone rang for some time and then finally went to the answering machine. I then had the same thing happen as I called his mobile, either Alex was busy or just ignoring me. Shit then I started to wonder what I’d do if he never came back, what if Spender believed I was already damaged enough. Alex would have no reason to find me, I was the idiot that had fallen in love and not him.

Finally after some sleep my headache had gone, I phoned Alex repeatedly over the following couple of hours and nothing. Each time I was met by an answering machine, now I was starting to feel sick and depressed at the thought of what it might mean.

I spent the day in bed, nothing made me want to get up and do my job or even face the world. I ran my fingers along the collar and wondered if I were still even his anymore, or would he be sat somewhere with Spender laughing at me.

I knew I was digging myself into a deep hole, one that very soon they’d be no way back from. Then I noticed the gun and realized I had a way out, a way so that all the pain and hurt would go away forever. Soon I had it in my hand and just sat there staring at it, maybe I’d wait a few more hours and then try Alex once more before ending it all.

Sometime later I heard the knock, I jumped up off the bed and prayed that Alex had returned to me. It was when I opened the door that I felt total disappointment, there stood Skinner himself alongside Scully.

“I think we need to talk Agent Mulder.”

“Why are you here Sir?”

“Look just let us come in and we can talk, I really don’t want to discuss things out here Agent Mulder.”

“I have nothing to say to either of you, I’ve made my feelings regarding Alex very clear.”

Shit suddenly Skinner forced his way into the room and Scully followed, it was then that I went to grab my gun that was still on the bed. I soon found myself in a choke hold, Skinner didn’t let up at all and I was struggling to breathe and had to force my words out.

“Get the fuck off me Skinner…”

“Not until you listen to me.”

Suddenly Skinner shoved me face first onto the bed and cuffed me, that was when I really started screaming at them both. To me it brought back the memories of last night, however I knew that it wasn’t Alex that had me trapped here.

“You’ll regret doing this Skinner.”

“Why, are you planning to tell your boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t need him to fight all my battles for me, I just don’t appreciate you coming into my room and using my own cuffs on me.”

“Fine how about you act like a mature adult then.”

“Remove them and I will.”

Skinner finally removed the cuffs, mainly because he knew I was no match against him.

“How about I take a back seat and you talk with Scully, maybe she can talk some sense into you.”

“Jesus you talk like I’m a kid, fine have your say then Scully as everyone else has.”

“Mulder you know I love you like a brother, however I’d disown my own brother if they turned up with Alex Krycek.”

“So, you’re saying you want to disown me then?”

“No, I’m hoping you’ll tell me it’s all a joke, or maybe it wasn’t but you’ve come to your senses now.”

“So, what if I tell you that I love Alex Krycek, that I’d rather die than be without him?”

“You can’t mean that Mulder.”

“Well I do, Alex has given me so much and means everything to me now.”

“I’m sorry then Mulder, Sir I’ll be putting in for a transfer.”

Without another word Scully turned and left, just like that she was willing to give up our friendship and working relationship. Worse was that I was now left here with only Skinner, the last time that happened he’d forced me to remain in his office while he insulted me.

“Well I see you’ve pissed off your partner Agent Mulder, you will piss off everyone until you only have Krycek left. Then chances are he’ll walk out when he gets fed up with you, or this little game of his starts to bore him.”

“Shut up, you know nothing at all Skinner.”

“Well I know that you’ll be working alone from now on, also this case is over and I want you to return to Washington straight away.”

“Whatever, it was a waste of time coming here in the first place.”

“We’ll discuss it tomorrow; you can report to my office when you arrive back at work.”

“Fine whatever.”

“I won’t let this drop Agent Mulder.”

“Somehow I didn’t think you would.”

Soon Skinner left and I was on my own once more I packed up what little stuff I had and headed for the airport. I presumed Scully had flown back with Skinner and that was why I had to go alone, I guess he wouldn’t want us arguing on the plane. Well Scully could say what the fuck she wanted; however, nothing would change my mind with regards to Alex.

I spent the entire trip praying that Alex would call me, or at least be at the apartment when I arrived home. Well I guess it wasn’t to be, I could tell that he’d used the apartment and I was thankful his clothes were still here. Maybe he’d surprise me and come later tonight, shit I couldn’t believe I had to be at work in just eight hours.

I unpacked and got ready for bed, however when night came I tried sleeping on the new couch. I had a feeling Alex had bought this one on purpose, it was uncomfortable and I no longer had any videos to watch either. Come five in the morning I was up and showered, I knew it was far too early to go to work or even call Alex.

I drank a couple of coffees and come seven I called him, still there was no answer from Alex’s phone. Shit now I was starting to panic even more, was he just ignoring me or had something happened to him?

That was it and I knew I couldn’t just sit here waiting, I had to go to work or I’d drive myself mad with worry. I was just so thankful Skinner was called away and had to attend a meeting; I also found my own office empty. Part of me wondered if Scully really meant what she said, would she really get transferred just so she could be away from me.

Well I was on my own for the first few hours, that was when I went to grab yet another coffee despite it was doing nothing for my nerves. I returned to my office and found Scully there packing all her stuff, I wanted to ask her to stay however that would mean giving up Alex.

“Scully are you really going to do this?”

“I can’t work with you anymore; look you have to accept that this is better for all of us.”

“So, you’d only stay if I end it with Alex?”

“No, it’s too late for that Mulder, I’d always know that you wanted to be with him and that thought makes me sick.”

“So, you would deny me a chance of happiness?”

“How the hell could you be happy with him Mulder, the man is a psychopath and you know it. Believe me Skinner filled me in on a lot regarding the pair of you, basically you let him walk all over you Mulder and treat you as he wants.”

“What the hell has he done that could make you think that Scully.”

“For one you wear his fuckin collar like some pet, I thought you said you were lovers Mulder.”

“We are, many people have relationship like this so don’t criticize me.”

“Oh I’m not that naïve Mulder, I’m well aware that people do it at home or join clubs. He crossed that line when he made you come to work wearing that, that’s not something a lover does Mulder.”

“Yeah well you soon went running to Skinner didn’t you…”

“Yeah maybe I did, yet I see that you’re still wearing it despite Skinner knowing.”

“Skinner changed his mind….”

“Don’t you dare lie to me Mulder, you know as well as I do that Skinner had no choice in the matter.”

“What the hell is that supposed to men?”

“Oh, he told me all about you and what Krycek made him do.”

“Oh shit…”

“Yeah exactly, you should be disgusted with yourself and what you let Krycek do. Skinner’s your boss Mulder, also if he loved you, he wouldn’t let another man touch you like that.”

“You don’t understand Scully, he had to teach Skinner a lesson and get him off my back.”

“You’re sick Mulder.”

“So, it was alright for Skinner to lock me in his office and scream abuse at me?”

“He was trying to make you see sense Mulder.”

“Yeah right, all he wanted to do was make me get rid of Alex.”

“Do you honestly think that Krycek loves you Mulder, all of this is just one big game to him.”

“I don’t believe you, you’re jealous because someone actually wants me.”

“Really, I’d rather spend a lifetime alone than with a man like him.”

“Well you can’t make me give him up or stop me loving him.”

“I’m out of here Mulder, have a nice life with your lover.”

I sat alone in my office; well I’d worked alone most of my life so I’d soon adjust without her. Later I got a call saying Skinner was back in his office, apparently he was busy so I had to report to him at six. Yeah right, I wasn’t stupid, Skinner wanted to see me after his secretary had gone home so he could yell at me once again.

I tried to throw myself into my work, I was good and typed up the report regarding our last case. It turned out that I was right all along, the pair had run away together and wasn’t abducted by anyone at all. Also, there were no more reports regarding the mysterious lights in the sky, chances are it was just a plane flying low. It turned out the witnesses had spent the night in the field smoking weed, so I guess you couldn’t call them reliable to say the least.

I tried calling Alex a couple more times, yet I got nowhere with his mobile or the apartment. If he kept this up I’d have to watch out for Spender, maybe see if that black lunged bastard knew of his whereabouts.

I now only had one more hour before I’d have to face Skinner, I couldn’t take anymore shit from him right now as I were close to breaking. I swear if Alex doesn’t show up soon, I’m quitting, there would be no way I could work here with everyone telling me they were right about Alex. I’d spent the past couple of months having Alex deal with everything for me, to be honest I no longer wanted the responsibility of taking care of myself.

I heard someone knock on the door, it was then I realized I’d locked it when Scully left. I got up and opened it expecting to see Skinner there, I couldn’t decide whether I was happy or pissed off when I saw Alex.

“Are you going to let me in Fox?”

“Where have you been, shit I thought you wasn’t coming back when you never answered my calls.”

I walked back over to my desk and sat down; my nerves were really on edge now as I wondered if he were here to stay. Not that things got any better, Alex closed and locked the door before coming over and sitting on my desk.

“I wasn’t sure if I’d be welcome back, you were the one who threw me out Fox.”

“Yeah well I was rather mixed up at the time, also you didn’t help by pulling a stunt like that.”

“I honestly thought you knew it was me, all I can do is apologize Fox for scaring you like that.”

“Fine maybe I did overreact a bit, so are you here to stay now.”

“That’s up to you, also it will depend on a couple of things too.”

I felt sick knowing he might still leave; I loved the man and would do anything to keep him here with me.

“So why is it up to me Alex?”

“You have to want me here with things as they were before, do you think Spender will just let me go and play house with you Fox. The man gave me a job to do and that’s what I have to do, if you can’t accept everything then it ends right now.”

“What exactly do you mean by everything?”

“You belong to me Fox, you will answer to me and accept any punishment I see fit to give you. Tell me now what you want, then I know whether I’m staying or leaving.”

I swallowed and struggled to even think, deep down I knew what the answer was, I was just scared of saying it out loud. I could tell that he had something planned, it was just the way he looked at me.

“Okay I’ll tell you what Fox, don’t answer me as talk can mean so little. Instead I will give you a test here today, if you pass the test I’ll stay and if not, I leave.”

“So, what will the test be?”

“You’ll have to figure out that one as you go along Fox, there is one thing you have to agree on though.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t ever lay a hand on me or give me orders; do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Alex, I’m sorry and regretted it the second I told you to leave.”

“Good at least were straight on that then.”

“Yeah, shit what time is it?”

“It’s nearly six why?”

“I have to go and see Skinner at six.”

“Yeah I know, I thought we could go together Fox.”

“I’ll be okay, you can wait here for me Alex as I won’t be long.”

“Oh, you haven’t a chance in hell Fox, I’m looking forward to this meeting and to see what happens with you and Skinner.”

I knew Alex wouldn’t take no for an answer, I just hoped that the meeting wasn’t to be a painful one. Alex held his hand out and I knew that I had to accept it, especially as I didn’t know when this test would begin.

I followed Alex to Skinners office and just stood there and waited, however Alex just opened the door and dragged me inside with him. Skinner looked up to see who had entered his office, then the man was out of his chair and in Alex’s face.

“What the hell are you doing here Krycek?”

“I ask the questions Skinner, like the reason why you called Fox here after your secretary had gone home?”

“That’s work and has nothing at all to do with you!”

“Sit the fuck down Skinner.”

All I could do was watch as Alex pulled out the palm pilot, however it had the desired affect and Skinner soon sat back down. I’d always thought it was Alex that had tormented Skinner with the device, shit maybe that was why I was starting to have a really bad feeling about this.

“Fox hand me your cuffs.”

“Why, you can’t cuff him Alex?”

“Well actually I can do what the hell I want, however the cuffs are for you Fox.”

“What?”

“You heard me, sit down right now.”

I sat too stunned to even question what I was doing, I just couldn’t understand why the hell Alex wanted to cuff me. Alex cuffed one of my hands to the chair arm tight enough to hurt, then after that he removed my tie and used it to restrain my other hand.

“Alex why are you doing this?”

“Fox just remember what I said earlier, piss me off in any way whatsoever and I’m gone for good.”

I decided to shut my mouth and just leave him be, it was bad enough that Skinner was watching my every move too and was getting really pissed off. I knew he wouldn’t remain quiet long as I could see the temper he was trying to keep in check, I just knew Alex would make him suffer far worse if he tried to stop him.

“Is it really necessary to restrain him like that Krycek?”

“Your concern is so touching Skinner; however, I know Fox here won’t like what I have planned for us all.”

“You’d better not hurt him Krycek…”

“Maybe you should be more concerned with your own welfare, as no one deals with Fox or touches him other than me.”

I sat here not knowing what Alex planned or even wanted from either of us, then I saw him open a cupboard that held a television and place a video in the attached player.

“I think it’s time you learnt a few things with regards to your boss Fox, did you know he answers to Spender just as I do?”

“Alex it’s not true, I know Skinner and there’s no way he’d work for that cancerous bastard.”

“You know nothing Fox, maybe it’s time you woke up and saw him for the man he is.”

“Why would he?”

“What work for Spender, maybe Skinner did it for a fast trip up the ladder just as I did. Except I did something to piss him off and I realized he’d used me; Skinner though was a far better choice for Spender because he was higher up and also in charge of you.”

“You’re wrong Alex.”

“Do you know what pisses me off Fox…”

“What?”

“You’re so fast to see the good in Skinner, yet you’d practically hung drawn and quartered me the second you found out.”

“You don’t get it do you Alex, the reason why I hated you so much at the time?”

“Please do share Fox.”

“I felt something for you, shit at the time I had no idea what it was. Look I let my guard down and trusted you, that was what hurt me the most Alex.”

“Well I guess you were the fucked up one for trusting me in the first place.”

“Yeah maybe I was, however I can’t just switch my feelings on and off when it suits you.”

“Look how about you both shut the fuck up, we can watch this video together and maybe it will enlighten you on a few things.”

Alex pressed play and I watched as the screen flickered to life, there sat Skinner in this very office with Spender. I could hear everything they said and it made me feel sick just listening, shit maybe Alex was right and I was a fool to trust Skinner.

Spender was going into detail about me and how my work was causing him problems, he also told Skinner to reel me in and deal with me or he would do it himself.

“Agent Mulder, it’s not what you think.”

“I came to you Skinner looking for help, you told me to back off and that you answered to people higher up. Shit you even threatened to suspend me if I went against you, yet all the time you were answering to him!”

“I have to do as he says, if I don’t reign you in at times he’d have the x files closed.”

“I don’t believe a word you say, now it makes me wonder just how you became the youngest assistant director in the bureau. I guess working for old Smokey has its advantages, well unless you’re Alex that is.”

“Krycek was always a thorn in Spenders side just as you are, I don’t choose who I answer to.”

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, as far as I’m concerned you can go to hell Skinner. So, Alex are you going to tell me what you did to piss Spender off, or is that all top secret too?”

“It doesn’t really matter now Fox, what’s done is done.”

“Humour me then Alex…”

“You won’t like it Fox, that or you won’t even believe me.”

“Try me, as I don’t see any reason why you’d need to lie to me.”

“Shit where the hell do I start?”

“Try the beginning Alex.”

“Great I’ll have to give you the simple version then or we’ll be here all night.”

“Yeah that’s fine, I guess I just want to know what made you do the things you did.”

“I first came to America when I was twelve, we were cold war immigrants and we were really poor at the time. I guess my parents had used what money they had to get us over here, then my father met a man who offered him work. The man payed my father well, however at twelve I had no idea who the man was or what my father did. It was only six years later when I learnt the truth, my father was a good scientist and did everything Spender wanted.”

“So, your father was one of them?”

“Yeah pretty much so, however he was also like your father Fox in other ways.”

“What do you mean by that Alex?”

“Your father was to keep you on a short leash, one day Spender hoped you’d turn your back on the x files and work for him.”

“Why the hell would he think that?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard the rumours that he’s your father, I guess he wanted you to follow in his footsteps. With my father I had no choice, I was part of the deal he’d agreed on with Spender when I was twelve. As soon as I turned eighteen I was to work for him, also I was to do whatever he said regardless of what it was or what I thought.”

“You could have just left.”

“Yeah right, my mother died in a car crash when I was fifteen and I only had my father. I knew that Spender would kill my father if I were to refuse an order, then he made the mistake of sending me to work with you. I guess I liked you and respected what you did, however Spender found out and it pissed him off and then…”

“Then what Alex?”

“He planted the cigarettes in my car so you’d never trust me again, also to seal my fate with you he ordered me to kill your father.”

“So, you admit that you killed him?”

“No, he knew I’d bail at the last second, that was why he sent Luis Cardinal with me to do it. Then he had someone beat me until I couldn’t stand, he also claimed he’d do the same to my father if I were to ever betray him again.”

“So, I guess you do what you do so your fathers safe, no one can blame you for that Alex.”

“No that’s not the reason why I do it Fox, you see my father died a couple of years ago from liver failure. Well it was his own fault; the man drank more vodka than a dozen Russians would in a month.”

“So why the hell do you still work for him then?”

“I do very little of what he asks, I just found it easier to learn things when you’re on the inside.”

“Yet you chose to deal with me because it’s what he wants…”

“Fox how the hell could I say no, I did this because it’s a job that I like doing.”

“So why do you have to make Skinner suffer, maybe Spender has something on him and he has no choice.”

“Fox tonight has nothing at all to do with Spender, this is personal between me and Skinner. I’ve already warned him about interfering, isn’t that right Skinner.”

“Go to hell Krycek, I’ve had enough of your games so get the hell out of my office.”

All I could do was watch in horror as Alex activated the black box, I was just thankful that he’d only turned it to a very low setting. Even so it still made me feel sick, the veins stood out on Skinners face and he fell back into the chair.

“Right maybe I’ll show you another video and it will jog your memories; you see Fox, Spender isn’t the only one that uses Skinner. I myself have his office under surveillance, you just never know when I might need information from him.”

“So, you’re blackmailing him?”

“I have to watch out for what’s mine Fox, just watch and learn.”

All I could do was sit there as he put another cassette in and pressed play, shit then everything became clear and I knew why Alex was pissed off. It was the day Skinner had locked me in his office, shit I watched it replay on the large screen. Skinner was yelling at me because of what Alex had made him do, then he was telling me that Alex couldn’t love me if he’d let him fuck me with his fist. Then I watched as I’d fallen to the floor sobbing and agreed to Skinners demands that I would get help.

I looked away from the screen and didn’t want to watch anymore, shit and then I remembered how I’d gone home and lied to Alex. Now I knew what he’d meant when he said we’d deal with it after my case was over, I remembered back to that night and how Alex was angry and pissed off with me. He’d even tied me to the bed and left me there all night, maybe that was why he’d come to the motel and made me think someone was raping me.

“Fox pay attention, that way you’ll realize why you both have to be punished.”

“Please Alex you have to listen to me…”

“Shut the fuck up Fox.”

All I could do was watch as he turned the television off, he then went into his pocket and pulled something out. At first I had no idea what it was however as Alex came near me, I soon realized what it was and that he planned to silence me.

“Alex you don’t need to use that, shit why do you have to gag me?”

“Because I know you Fox, also Skinner will make enough noise without you joining in.”

“What do you mean Alex?”

“Look I’ll punish you when we get home Fox.”

“Punish me for what?”

“I outright asked you if anything had happened, I then later asked you again and yet you still lied to me.”

“I didn’t want to make you worry Alex.”

“Yeah right, it’s more likely that you were worried what I’d do to Skinner when I found out.”

“Alex please it wasn’t…”

“Don’t say another word Fox, you made your choice and that was to lie. So you see now I have to punish you, I also have to punish Skinner because of what he did to you.”

“Alex…”

I never even managed to get another word out, Alex shoved the gag into my mouth and silenced me. I knew that I had no way of talking him out of this, not that Alex will listen when he’s this angry. I looked over towards Skinner and realized he looked scared, well who wouldn’t be if Alex used that device on him

“So, Skinner have you anything to say for yourself?”

“Go to hell Krycek, at the end of the day he’s one of my agents and not just some fuckin toy.”

“Is that what you think I see him as, just a fuckin toy to use and play with?”

“Can you honestly stand there and tell me you love him?”

“What I have with Fox is nothing to do with you.”

“See you can’t say it can you, you’ll use him until you get bored and then you’ll leave. It will be the likes of myself and Scully that will have to pick up the pieces, well that’s if there’s anything left to salvage.”

I couldn’t do a damn thing to calm Alex; all I could do was watch him as he backhanded Skinner and split his lip open. I guess the thing that scared me the most was his grin, that alone told me that Alex enjoyed doing it and that it would get worse. I could also see the fear on Skinners face too, Alex had literally taken the man to death and back before.

Shit then I watched in horror as Alex pulled out the black box once more, I couldn’t see what he was doing with it or how far he’d go. Not that it mattered, just one look at Skinner and I knew Alex planned to make him pay for what he did. I just couldn’t understand Alex at times or why he’d go this far, surely he knew that Skinner was my boss and only trying to protect me.

I could see the veins swell and rise against the skin, it was grotesque and far from normal. Deep down I had this feeling I’d throw up if I kept watching, however that wasn’t an option while I were gagged. Oh god how could anyone expect me to just sit here and watch this, I couldn’t even watch my worst enemy suffer like this as it was that bad.

Then there were the noises that came from Skinners mouth, it was so damn obvious that the man was in agony and still his tormentor just carried on. I started thrashing around in the chair where I sat, ha not that my restraints gave me an option to move that far. All I could do was pray that Alex would see me and notice as my eyes pleaded with him, this was inhumane and I wanted to get as far away from here as possible.

Finally I managed to get my lovers attention, yet al I got for my actions was a slap across my face. Shit did Alex really think that would stop me from protesting. I was just so relieved when he finally switched the palm pilot off and prayed it was over, however I could see the state it had left Skinner in. My boss sat in the chair with his head down and I realized he was crying, fuck this affected me more than anything as I’d never seen him look so defeated.

Alex went over to him and lifted his chin up, yet I realized there was no remorse upon his gorgeous face for what he’d done. How the hell could someone be so cruel and hateful, and also look like a perfect angel at the same time. The man was a god damn mystery to me most of the time, maybe the unknown was what attracted me to him in the first place. Finally, he actually paid me some attention, even if it was just to remove my restraints.

I moved my hands to get the blood flowing and then I pulled out the gag from my mouth, Alex just stood there watching and waiting to see what I’d do first. My main concern was that my boss was still alive and would remain that way, I was surprised that his heart hadn’t given out under the torture. All I could do was scowl at Alex and make him aware how pissed I was, then I knelt in front of Skinners chair.

“Sir can you hear me, I need to know you’re okay?”

“What the hell do you expect me to say Mulder, you saw for yourself what the bastard’s capable of.”

“I know what he did Sir and I’m so sorry.”

“You’re not sorry at all Agent Mulder…”

“How can you say that Sir?”

“Because if you were, you’d tell the bastard to go back to hell where he belongs.”

“Sir please…”

“I don’t want to hear it Agent Mulder, how about you answer a question for me…”

“Anything, what is it you want to ask Sir?”

“I want to know if you’re going to walk out of here with him, take him home and let him punish you like you mean nothing to him?”

“I have to leave with him Sir.”

“What he does is vile and disgusting, he treats people like their nothing at all. I despise people like him, but do you know what I despise more Agent Mulder?”

“What’s that Sir?”

“People like you Agent Mulder, people who let him get away with what he does and even encourages it.”

“You don’t understand Sir.”

“Damn right I don’t, however you made your bed Agent Mulder and can lay in it.”

I knew there was nothing I could say or do right now, maybe when he’d calmed down he’d listen to me and understand my side of things. Not that I could say much now anyway, I knew Alex was stood behind me and was getting pissed off.

“Fox get up it’s time to go.”

“That’s right Krycek, you always were a coward and run away from everything.”

“I’d watch that mouth of yours Skinner, well that’s if you want to remain in the land of the living…”

Shit I realized they were as bad as each other at times, also that Skinner must have a death wish to keep pushing Alex like this. I knew I wasn’t looking forward to my own punishment despite not knowing what it was, I just knew I had to get Alex away from Skinner before he went too far.

“Please Alex... can we go home now and drop this for tonight?”

“I’m surprised you’re in a hurry Fox, especially considering your own punishment is still to come.”

“He’s my boss Alex or was that something you overlooked, I can’t just stand here and watch while you kill him.”

“How touching, do you really think he gives a fuck about you Fox?”

“Alex you were once my enemy, shit and even I wouldn’t have tortured you like this.”

Suddenly Alex pulled me to my feet and grabbed the front of my jacket, literally within seconds he slammed me hard against the wall and kissed me. It was far from just a peck on the cheek as I felt his tongue force its way between my lips. Alex went all out and even started groping me too, I couldn’t help myself as my body responded to his touch and turned me on. Then I remembered Skinner and knew why Alex was doing this, most of it was just a power game and I was the one in the middle.

Maybe to a certain degree my boss was right, Alex wouldn’t be able to play his games if I didn’t encourage him, however right now my body was betraying me and I couldn’t help myself. I guess that was why I encouraged him even more, soon I responded and my own tongue pressed back and into his mouth. No one could deny that the man was such a turn on and gorgeous too, and even better I was the one he wanted.

“Yeah I think it’s time we left Fox, otherwise I’ll have to fuck you right here on Skinners desk.”

“I’d rather go home Alex; I want you to punish me and make me understand everything.”

“Oh don’t you worry Fox, by the time I’ve finished with you you’ll understand everything.”

Alex grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door, I could hear Skinner moaning about me and how I was no better than Alex. Maybe that was true, I just wished Skinner realized I was trying to protect him right now. I was willing to go face my own punishment, not that I’d get any thanks for making Alex leave. We both made it to the door and then Skinner opened his mouth and pissed Alex off once more, god I just wanted the man to shut up and let us leave.

“Does your boss know about the games you play Krycek, does he condone what you’re doing to me and Agent Mulder?”

“I do as I’m told just like you Skinner, Spender wants me to keep you all under control and that’s what I’m doing.”

“I’m aware of that, I just want to know if he agrees with your methods Krycek?”

“He doesn’t care what I do as long as you remain alive.”

“Hmmm I wonder if that’s true, especially considering Agent Mulder’s relationship with him.”

“You know as I do that it’s all hear say.”

“Well you want to hope it’s not true, especially since you’re practically raping the man.”

“Fox is well aware of what I do and he’s a grown man.”

“Yeah maybe he is, but it’s not just you is it Krycek? You’ve let other people use him and made them abuse him.”

“Go to hell Skinner.”

“What, does the truth hurt Krycek? Maybe Spender needs to know so you can be on the receiving end for a change.”

Alex was across the room in seconds, also he never held back as he punched Skinner in the stomach. I could see Skinner gasp in pain and knew it was all getting out of hand, that was why I was surprised when Alex walked back towards the door.

“If Spender finds out and I suffer I’ll know who to blame, then maybe I might have to test the nanos to their full potential.”

“Get the hell out of my office Krycek.”

“Oh we’re leaving, come on Fox it’s time to go home.”

I’d swear that Alex was like Jekyll and Hyde at times, he could change his emotions within seconds and it was rather disturbing at times. I guess I never truly knew what to expect from him. So I was glad when we finally made it to my car and left the Hoover behind us, now all I could do was go home and face my punishment like a man.

I finally lay my head back against the seat and closed my eyes, I wasn’t really tired and I found it easier to think with them closed. I knew things had got way out of hand tonight, and I also knew that Skinner couldn’t kick me out of the bureau without answering to Spender. Even so, I knew the main thing I was questioning right now was my own sanity.

I also wondered how far I was willing to let Alex go, I’d already let him use me and abuse me in the name of love. Shit I’d spent so many years of my life trusting no one and wondered when that changed, I was willing to put all my trust in a man that was once my enemy. Then that also made me question myself, even if you could forgive or love your enemy was it normal? Most people would forgive and find some common ground, where I’d just gone and done the total opposite, I’d let Alex into my life and takeover.

I guess it was even the little things too, it was my car yet I always let Alex take over and drive. Then I remembered back to the green agent that he once was, no way in hell would I have let Alex drive me around in my own car. I was so lost in thought and hadn’t realized the car had stopped, well not until Alex nudged me and told me we were home.

I got out of the car and waited while Alex locked it, once inside we took the lift to the fourth floor and my apartment. Now though I was starting to feel really anxious, I was starting to become tired after a long day and still had to face my punishment.

“Go get in the shower Fox and I’ll be there in a few seconds.”

“I thought you were meant to be punishing me?”

“Oh don’t worry, I already warned you that you would be and that you’d learn your true place.”

“So why…”

“Shower Fox now.”

I turned and did as he asked, I realized more questions would only lead to more pain. At least the shower was relaxing and eased my muscles somewhat, I stood there under the warm water and blocked everything else out. Shit then I jumped as I felt Alex slap my wet skin, I also opened my eyes and realized he was holding the enema kit.

“Come on Fox let’s get it over with, we don’t want any embarrassing mess when were out tonight.”

“What?”

“You heard me, turn around, face the wall and spread your legs.”

I did as he asked and felt the tube enter my backside, my mind was elsewhere even as the warm water started to cramp my stomach. What the hell had Alex meant about going out, also what was his comment regarding an embarrassing mess? So, I figured we were going somewhere public then, chances are we’d have a few drinks and he’d fuck me on the way home.

Soon the enema was over with and Alex then washed me, afterwards he inserted a finger inside me to make sure I was clean. Fuck then I moaned out loud as his finger found my prostate, I was so turned on and wanted to come within seconds of him touching me. All the earlier memories and doubt disappeared, and I knew there was no way I’d give up this man or what he did to me.

“Fox get with it and pay attention.”

“What…”

“I said go and lay on the bed.”

I did as he said, I soon realized that Alex was going to have a shower and leave me to suffer until he returned. After five minutes I was getting rather desperate, shit was he having a full shave and everything while he was in the bathroom? Well I thought about it and what I should do, it wasn’t like he’d said I had to remain hard or couldn’t touch myself.

I slowly ran one hand up towards my nipples, I then took each one in turn and played with them until they became hard little buds. Soon I started rubbing them and pulling at them in desperation, I felt my cock become harder and still made myself wait as I wanted the feeling to last. After a while I moved my hand lower and started playing with my own balls, rolling them around and squeezing them.

I was so turned on now and the need to come was taking over, this time I let my hand work up and down on my erection. I lay there imaging that it was Alex’s hand that was on my body, I even started to work a finger inside myself knowing I’d soon come.

“Oh god Alex just fuck me…”

“God you’re such a slut and a turn on Fox, however I suggest you move your hands right now.”

Shit I’d been so engrossed in what I was doing, I’d even closed my eyes and had no idea how long Alex had stood there watching me. My biggest problem was the need to come, I was only seconds of achieving it when Alex had disturbed me. Even so I’d still obeyed him, my hands had dropped to my sides and I lay there waiting to see what he’d do.

“You should know better than that Fox, actually that gives me an idea.”

Alex went in the draw and grabbed a blindfold, I also noticed that he grabbed a few other items too. Well it looked like my punishment was well and truly about to start, as he threw everything on the bed then knelt between my parted legs.

“You’re such a turn on Fox and you’re gorgeous too, despite that though you know I can’t let you come that easy.”

My erection started to flag with that knowledge, however Alex had other ideas and soon he was sucking my erection back to life. Once inside that warm mouth I became hard, it was at that moment he withdrew and attached the cock ring. I couldn’t help myself as a moan escaped my lips, yet all that did was make Alex lick the full length of my erection.

“Holy shit, oh god please Alex…”

“You haven’t got a chance in hell Fox, also all that moaning just turns me on even more.”

Alex made me turn over and now my erection was pinned under my body, Alex on the other hand had started playing with my backside, I then felt as he slipped a couple of lube covered fingers inside me. Now I was more turned on than ever as he tortured me, well until the fingers were gone only to be replaced with something larger.

Alex was far from gentle as he entered me in one swift move, he then worked up a rhythm and started fucking me even harder. This was hell and there was no release anywhere in sight, all I could do was lie here and suffer while he dished out my punishment.

I felt Alex tense and I also felt his hands dig into my hips, within seconds he came and then collapsed on top of me. At this rate my cock would explode from the pressure alone, and all I wanted to do was scream knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere. Finally Alex decided to move and go into the bathroom, then he returned with a washcloth and started cleaning the semen away.

I had to lay here as he purposely forced the tip of the cloth inside me, then he’d slowly withdraw it causing me to shudder. Once done he started drying me and applying more lube, it was then that I realized how much more I was going to suffer. Alex had forced a rather large butt plug inside my ass, he then pressed it so it touched my prostate.

“Oh god…”

“Hey that’s not everything Fox, you see I saved the best for last.”

I couldn’t answer, my nerves were on fire right now. It was then that he made me roll back onto my back once more and my erection was finally free. Alex bent forward and took my nipples in his mouth and sucked them hard, once he was happy he attached a couple of nipple clamps.

I lay here afraid to move; he’d used them before and I knew they could really hurt if you moved too fast. Soon though he distracted me from my suffering, I was more concerned that he was playing with the collar and unfastening it. The man was abusing my body, yet all I feared was that he’d remove the collar and leave. Abandon me and disown me, that was the thing I feared the most.

“Hey breathe Fox, I’m just attaching a tag so everyone know I own you; I wouldn’t want someone taking advantage of my property, would I?”

“No, I just thought…”

“I know what you thought Fox; however I’ve already told you that I’m not going anywhere. You are mine Fox, no one else will ever have you.”

I finally felt relieved once it was back in place, once done Alex got up and went to get something else from the draw. I couldn’t see what it was, the only thing I could see was the huge grin that was upon his gorgeous face. I realized that he rarely smiled a real smile, normally they were forced or he was sneering.

“Now for the best bit Fox.”

“Holy fuck…”

I nearly jumped up off the bed, the nipple clamps had just sent some sort of electric pulse through the tender buds. It even took me a few seconds to control my breathing, while Alex just carried on smiling.

“Get with it Fox, as there’s still more to come.”

“Alex… oh shit what are you doing to me…?”

At that moment I’d realized the butt plug could also emit a strong pulse too, also it was pressed right against my prostate. Every time Alex triggered it I became desperate with need, worse was knowing that it wasn’t going to happen unless Alex decided the time was right.

“Don’t get too carried away Fox as you need to dress now.”

“What, you still want to go out?”

“Of course I do, just hold on though while I get you something suitable to wear.”

Okay I was fucked if that were his idea of something suitable, as far as I was concerned the small piece of cloth didn’t even have the right to be classed as clothing.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am, stand up Fox and put them on right now.”

I knew Alex was testing me and I had very little choice, so here I were dressed in a piece of cloth with some strings. The cloth wouldn’t even cover my cock if it were flaccid, shit so I had to wear them with my erection pressed against my stomach and peeping out.

“You look even better than I expected Fox.”

“I just pray that you’re taking me somewhere private, there’s no way I can be seen in public like this Alex.”

“Stop worrying Fox.”

“How can I? I’m practically naked and on top of that I’m a federal agent!”

“You can wear your long coat over until we’re there, also just put a pair of trainers on too.”

I did as he asked and was soon ready, Alex grabbed my hand and we took the elevator to the ground floor. I was just thankful that I hadn’t bumped into any of my neighbours, even with the coat my bare legs and the collar were a giveaway. The only time I truly relaxed was when we were in the car, even so I could feel the plug press right against my prostate as I sat down.

“How are you holding up Fox?”

“How the hell do you think I’m doing, maybe one day I should do it to you…”

“Ha in your dreams Fox, just because I let you fuck me once…”

“Yeah, I forgot that you don’t bottom for anyone, I bet you don’t like having a lover in charge either?”

“Drop it right now Fox or else…”

“Or else what?”

“Oh shit…”

All I could do was watch as he pulled out the tiny remote, yet within seconds I struggled to sit down as he activated the butt plug. I had to grab hold of the car seat as it pulsed inside my backside, I closed my eyes and tried to ride out the feelings that washed over me knowing I couldn’t come. Finally I closed my eyes and fell back against the seat, my whole body was now covered in a fine coat of perspiration.

Alex turned it off and I sat there panting and trying to control my breathing, yet the torture didn’t instantly stop as my ass throbbed with need. It was then that Alex leant over and covered my eyes with the blindfold, now I also had to suffer the worry of not knowing where we were going. I decided to remain quiet and not piss him off anymore, well I didn’t want him to make me suffer like that again if I could help it.

My erection was still throbbing and I wondered how good the cock ring was, I had this feeling I might end up coming while I have it on. Somehow I had a feeling Alex would blame that on me too, despite he was the one that was pushing me to the limits with his methods and torture devices.

Finally, I felt the car stop and heard Alex switch the engine off, so I guess this was our final destination and I’d see what awaited me. Shit then he opened the passenger door and left the blindfold where it was, and I struggled to get out of the car and walk without seeing where I was stepping. I nearly tripped as I was led up a few steps and into a warm building, however it was the voices that made me realize we wouldn’t be alone.

“Just a few more steps Fox, when we stop, I want you to kick off your trainers and remove the coat.”

“Shit are you serious?”

“Of course I am, you can do it or I’ll make you do it Fox.”

“Yeah okay, I get the point and will do it myself.”

“Good, just remember you lied to me and this is a punishment Fox.”

I never answered him, we stopped and I did as he asked. Shit I felt so degraded right now knowing people could be watching me without me seeing them. Then suddenly Alex was behind me and pressing his own erection against my ass, then his hand went up to my throat and pressed against the collar.

“You’re mine Fox and have to remember that, tonight is a punishment and your only job is to please me.”

“Fine, whatever…”

Shit I really jumped as Alex slapped my ass hard, worse was when I heard someone nearby laugh at my predicament.

“It’s Master in here Fox, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Master.”

Alex turned me so that I was facing him and grabbed hold of my wrists, before I realized what was happening I felt the cuffs click and lock in place. It was only then that Alex decided to remove the blindfold, fuck I realized exactly where we were and who had laughed at me.

Alex had brought me back to the place he said he never would, I’d recognized it straight away along with Steve who was still grinning. Alex pushed me into the main room and I froze, I realized that there were at least fifty people here in this one room alone.

“Walk over towards the table Fox and do as I say, if you behave I’ll take you home later and you can sleep with me in your own bed. Piss me off and I’ll leave you back downstairs in that room, I might accidently give someone the key so they can have some fun with you.”

Shit this really couldn’t be happening to me, I had to suffer in front of all these strangers and do as Alex said no matter what it was. Part of me wondered if I’d be able to see it through, however if I failed, he’d leave me here and let one of the said strangers abuse me.

“Fox stop trying to think about everything, I promise that I won’t be using any of the stuff here to punish you with, you will only suffer two kinds of punishment tonight. One will be humiliation; I know you don’t take kindly to having someone degrade and humiliate you. So I figured that would be a severe punishment to someone like you, do you agree with that Fox?”

“Yes Master.”

“Good as the second one will affect you physically and emotionally. How you are now is how you’ll remain until later; you see I’m going to push you to the limits Fox without letting you come.”

I put my head down and looked at the floor, I had to face defeat and know this could be far worse than any of the toys that are in this room. Alex gave me a gentle shove towards one of the empty tables, once there he made me kneel on the floor at his feet.

“Do you want something to drink Fox?”

“I’m I allowed Master?”

“Fox I wouldn’t have asked if you weren’t, just forget I asked.”

Alex called a waiter over and ordered a double vodka for himself; he also ordered the slave special for me. Soon the waiter returned and placed both glasses upon the table, Alex drank his straight down and ordered another one while I just sat here watching everything. The waiter returned once more, Alex then waited until he’d left before speaking to me.

“Drink this straight down Fox, don’t worry it’s only vodka.”

Alex held the glass to my lips and made me drink it, the vodka was really strong and within seconds I was coughing and struggling to breathe. Then I felt Alex slap my back a couple of times, he even managed to tug on my nipple as he pulled his hand away.

“Just sit there and relax for a few minutes okay.”

“Yes Master.”

I did as Alex asked, however after a while I started burning up and my cuffed hands found their way to my erection. I had this sudden urge to come and prayed Alex wasn’t watching, shit then my ass started pulsing as Alex turned the electronic pulse up high. I started squirming around and making strange panting noises, then he went and activated the device attached to my nipple. I felt like my whole body was on fire with the need to come, at this rate I’d rip the cock ring off regardless of the punishment.

“Let go right now Fox, move your hand away or I’ll let every man in this room use you before the nights out.”

It took a few seconds for the words to sink into my addled brain and process them, that was when I realized what I was doing and tried to move my hands away. I think Alex had cuffed them in front of me on purpose, however I also knew that he was more than capable of carrying out any threats he made.

“I’ve turned them off now, try and concentrate Fox and get yourself under control.”

I did as he said, however now I had to hide the tears of anger and frustration that fell upon the floor. Alex leant forward and stroked my now wet hair and whispered words of encouragement, hell it wasn’t my fault that I was so turned on by everything, shit it was then that I remembered the drink he’d given me and what he’d called it. Could it be possible that one double vodka had gone to my head already, well I knew I wasn’t a big drinker and figured anything was possible.

“Fox, I want you to come and sit up here, look I’ve even got you another drink.”

I did as Alex asked, however the first thing he did was remove the cuffs and freed my hands. Part of me wondered if he was still testing me, well I guess it was easier to behave if you’re restrained.

“Drink this Fox.”

“I don’t know if I should.”

“Why?”

“I already feel drunk and I’ve only had one drink.”

“Yeah well it’s not a choice Fox, I told you to drink it and I expect you to do as I say.”

I never even bothered answering the man, hell right now just sitting this close was doing something to my body. I had this sudden urge to kiss him, shit I also had the urge to do far more to his delectable body too. I guess it wouldn’t happen as he was the one in charge, however he’d have to do something before I let him carry out his threat. Right now every man in this building looked tempting and gorgeous, maybe having one of them wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Fox you’re drooling, well I guess the drugs are working better than I expected.”

“What do you mean, what did you give me Alex?”

“It was meant to turn you on and make you relaxed, yet you look like you want every man here to fuck you.”

“Oh god, please don’t let me do anything stupid.”

“Yeah I think you’ve had enough already, also no more drink for you either.”

I lay me head back on the seat and tried to control myself, it was then that Alex ordered me to stand up and I started to panic.

“Why?”

“Fox just do as you’re told or else.”

I opened my eyes and stood in front of Alex, shit in all honesty I was far too scared to face all the men in this room. Well it wasn’t just them I was afraid of; I was also afraid of myself and what I could end up doing in my desperate state.

“Fox no one will touch you while you’re wearing that collar and are with me, right now though I want you to something for me.”

“What is it?”

At first Alex never even answered me, however he sat there and unfastened the buttons on his own jeans. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe and was far hotter than before, I kept looking at him and even started drooling as his large erection sprung free. I was so far gone and never even paid attention to the knife he now held, nor did I care when he cut away the only one garment that covered my own problem. Suddenly he grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me towards him, and I could tell that he was also turned on as his pupils dilated.

“Fox, I want you to turn around for a minute and lean over the table for me.”

I did as Alex asked without even questioning him, I’d reached the point where I know longer cared who the hell saw me in this situation. Shit then I felt Alex run his hands along my inner thighs and move towards my backside, then suddenly my ass felt totally empty as he pulled the butt plug out. I didn’t even realize at first that the whimpering noises were coming from me, and all I wanted was for someone to fuck me and then let me come.

“Fox, I want you to turn around and face me, then I want you to sit over me and position my cock against your ass.”

I did as he said and placed the tip against my now stretched backside, then Alex grabbed hold of my shoulders and shoved me down so I was impaled on his rather large erection.

“Move Fox, I want you to enjoy and feel everything as you fuck yourself on my cock. Just remember your job is to please me Fox, also to make sure I come deep inside your slut of a body.”

Alex could have called me anything he wanted right now, I was far more engrossed with what he was doing to my body and just knowing it was him doing it. All the men here and I had the one man I wanted so much, he had become my everything and I wanted to please him too. That was why I started working up a rhythm and made sure he was kept on the edge, at times he tried to keep me where I was and it didn’t work.

I found he became really desperate when I lifted my ass and slammed back down on him, he was even now digging his fingers into my hips and I’d have some nasty bruises after this.

“Shit Fox what the hell are you trying to do to me, well so much for wanting to drag this out until later. Come on lover, fuck me hard and make me scream.”

“God and you call me a slut…”

“Hey, it’s the slut in you that gets me off.”

“Good, come on then Alex… I want to feel it all as you come deep inside me.”

“Oh god… shit I’m going to…”

Alex never got to say another word as his fingers dug even deeper into my hips, then suddenly his body arched up and spasmed. The man was so fuckin gorgeous as his eyes rolled upwards, then he collapsed as he filled my ass with his seed.

“Jesus Fox, I think I’ll sleep for a week now.”

“What about me Alex?”

“I’m sorry and I know you’re desperate, however this is a punishment for you Fox.”

I groaned and started to sulk, this was sheer torture and I really was desperate now. I guess I was stupid enough to think Alex would return the favour, well what a joke that was.

“Fox stop sticking your lip out as it turns me on.”

“Good, at least you don’t have to suffer like this.”

“Yeah well, you’ll have to stand up, I think you’ve had enough and it’s time we went home don’t you?”

“God yes…”

Alex re fastened his jeans and then pulled my body against his own, shit then soon he was passionately kissing me with everything that he had. I couldn’t help but respond to the man as he had an amazing mouth, then within seconds he pulled away and slapped my backside hard.

“Shit what was that for?”

“I don’t need a reason Fox, however that handprint marks you as mine and really suits you.”

“You know that I’m yours Alex.”

“Good, come on let’s get your coat and trainers back on.”

“What about my err, I’d say clothes but that would be a mass exaggeration.”

“You won’t need them Fox, just walk over to the door and hold your head up high lover.”

“Oh god don’t make me…”

“Fox do it now, shit everyone’s already had an eyeful of you anyway.”

I did as he said and pretended they couldn’t see me, within five minutes it was all over and Alex had me back in the car. I watched as he got in and started the engine, however he then sat there watching me as the engine ran idly.

“Is something wrong Alex?”

“No, why what makes you think that?”

“Maybe because you’re just sitting there.”

“I thought maybe we could play a game on the way home.”

“Why do I have a feeling I won’t like this…”

“Don’t be a spoilsport Fox.”

Alex pushed me forward and made me place my hands behind my back, then within seconds he had them cuffed together.

“You expect me to sit like this?”

“Fox it’s only for twenty minutes, I’m sure even you can manage that?”

“Whatever, so what is this game you want to play?”

“You know I removed the butt plug; however the nipple clamps still remain.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware of that, so what’s your point?”

“There are six sets of traffic lights between here and Hegal place, so I thought I’d use the remote every time we hit a red light.”

“Shit…What? You want to torture me even more?”

“Yeah as you look so sexy when your turned on and pout, also at least this way you have a fifty percent chance that it’s green.”

“So, if all the lights are green, I won’t get punished?”

“Yeah however they might all be red too.”

“Well it’s not like I have a choice.”

“Let’s go home then.”

I sat here and was as nervous as hell, every time we came close to a set of lights my breathing became irregular and I couldn’t relax at all. I started to wonder if maybe luck was on my side tonight as the first two sets were green, maybe it was just the time of night and nothing more. Soon we rounded the corner and I saw the lights were on green, we were practically on top of the lights as they started to change.

“You can get through it Alex, shit it’s only on amber…”

“What, you’re a G man Fox and you want me to break the law?”

“You bastard…”

They were the only words I got out as the lights fully changed, Alex looked at me and smiled as his finger pressed the button. I screamed out as the pulse surged through my tender nipples and showed no sign of stopping, Alex kept it up until the lights turned amber once more. I could barely breathe at all now, and the tender buds were still pulsing long after the torture had ended.

Oh god and then I realized I were well and truly fucked, the next set of lights were on red and I knew what that meant. My biggest problem was the fact I could still feel the effects from the last time, I seriously didn’t think my body would withstand the torture so soon.

“Alex please…”

“You know the rules Fox.”

“Yeah well don’t blame me if I end up coming.”

“Fox you underestimate the toys I buy and how good they are, just accept your punishment like a man.”

I knew I had no choice but to accept it, the pain started on my nipples and ripped throughout my body and I thrashed around. Alex was right and the ring held despite it felt like my balls would explode. Oh god and then suddenly Alex squeezed the end of my cock and laughed, well believe me I saw nothing funny about my predicament.

“God at this rate I’ll be hard again before we get home, not that it matters as I can come whenever I want.”

“Fuck you…”

“No, we’ve had this conversation before Fox, that’s something that will never happen again.”

“You know what the hell I meant, can’t you just shut up and leave me the hell alone…”

“Where would the fun be in that Fox, hey look the lights are on green this time.”

“Thank god.”

“Well there’s only one more set of lights to go, I wonder which of us will be the lucky one?”

“Knowing my luck, it will be on red.”

We drove another ten minutes or so and I tried to get myself under control, sweat was literally dripping off me now and I could barely keep focused anymore. Well I guess I’d learnt my lesson after all, I couldn’t ever lie to Alex again if this was his idea of punishment. The man had hardly used any devices to torture me and this was the result, even after he’d whipped me, I’d felt better than this.

“So, are you ready Fox, the last set of lights is just around the corner?”

“I’ll never be ready; however, I just want this stupid fuckin game over with.”

“Poor Fox, you sound a bit pissed off there lover.”

“Wouldn’t you be?”

“I wouldn’t know Fox, also I’ve no intention of finding out either.”

“Shit no…”

We turned the corner and the fuckin lights were on red, I should have known this would happen to me.

“Hey, it worked out fair in the end Fox, we had three red and three green lights.”

“Yeah well I’m sorry if I don’t see this as fair.”

“Just accept what will be, soon you’ll be home and fast asleep in bed.”

“I highly doubt that.”

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst, I even closed my eyes so that I wouldn’t have to see him grin at me. Suddenly there was this pain that exploded in only one nipple, my eyes flew open and looked down to see what was happening. All I saw was the dark hair on Alex’s head, and he was sucking and licking the tender flesh that was my nipple.

Really I shouldn’t complain as this was far less painful, then all I wanted to do was run my fingers through his dark thick hair and stroke it. Not that I could do much with my hands cuffed, I did the best I could and kissed his head instead.

“Shit Alex the lights have changed.”

Alex lifted his head and sat up, I waited until we were moving before asking any questions.

“Why did you do that Alex?”

“Didn’t you like it?”

“Of course I did, I guess I was just expecting even more pain.”

“Yeah well I never wanted to be predictable Fox.”

“Shit no one could ever accuse you of that Alex.”

“Well that proves I’m doing a good job then, come on Fox it’s time to get out and go get some sleep.”

“Yeah okay.”

Great now I felt really down, did Alex really think I could sleep with my body in this state.

Not that I got a say in anything, Alex helped me out of the car and we took the lift to my apartment. Once there Alex removed the cuffs along with my coat and shoes, he then ordered me into the shower.

I stood under the warm water and it helped me relax somewhat, it was then I noticed Alex strip out of his own clothes, I also noticed that he was hard once more. Within seconds he’d joined me in the shower and removed the nipple clamps, then he started washing me all over. I knew straight away what he wanted, especially when he slipped a couple of soaped fingers in and out of my ass.

“Turn around and face the tiles Fox.”

I did as he asked, soon I was pressed hard against the cold tiles as he fucked me. It was late and I knew that he was becoming really tired too, I presumed that was the reason why he did it fast and hard. Each time he slammed into me my erection pressed against the tiles and wanted some relief, not that any was coming as Alex came and got out.

After Alex had a large towel around me and started drying me, soon he was done and then I had to stand there as he dried himself. Without even speaking he grabbed my hand, he then led me into the bedroom and shoved me down onto the bed.

“Lay on your back Fox, I bet you’re really desperate now…”

“God yes, shit it hurts now Alex.”

Alex just parted my legs and then he knelt between my open thighs, great all I could do now was watch as he opened a bottle of lube and plastered it all over his hand. Alex started working in a couple of fingers and started stretching me, not that it was hard because of the time he kept me stretched. Within no time he was working his thumb in there too, shit I still stated to moan as he forced his full hand inside my ass.

“Alex please, I’ll beg if that’s what you want?”

“I’m not finished with you yet Fox, just relax and then this won’t hurt too much.”

“Easy for you to say…”

Alex started curling his hand into a fist and twisting it around, then he started pushing it in and out hitting my prostate every time.

“You’re such a fuckin slut Fox, so hot and such a turn on. God just watching as my wrist and arm disappear into your willing body, to control you and have you right where I want you.”

“Alex…”

“Do you want to come Fox?”

“Yes, god I’ll do anything Alex…”

Alex pushed hard against my prostate, while at the same time his other hand removed the cock ring. Every nerve in my body came alive as I had the strongest orgasm ever, it felt like there was no end to it as my cock spasmed repeatedly into Alex’s hand. I figured I’d passed out at some point, I guess Alex had well and truly pushed my body beyond the limits.

Next time I opened my eyes it was daylight, a quick look around and I realized Alex was curled up beside me and still fast asleep. I had to admit that the man looked like an angel when he was asleep, he was also as sexy as hell. It was times like this that I wished he did love me, how I wanted to have him as my equal and show him some pleasure.

Instead I slowly got out of the bed and left him sleeping, right now it was my bladder that was screaming at me for relief. I did my morning ritual and then shaved and prepared for what would happen once Alex decided to wake up, well it was Saturday and I had no intention of going into work today. I couldn’t believe that Alex was still fast asleep and hadn’t even moved, so I decided to get back into bed and wake him up in a slow sexual way.

I ran my thumb along his gorgeous lips and kissed the little frown that appeared, I’d always loved it when he did that as it really turned me on. Then suddenly his tongue ran over his dry lips and I froze, however it was just a reaction and Alex remained fast asleep.

I decided to work a bit lower and see what happened then, I only had to blow against his nipples and they turned into hard little buds. I wanted to suck them deep into my mouth and taste him, I wanted him to moan with pleasure as I played with his exposed body. In the end I resisted the urge to do it, right now I liked having him asleep while I explored.

I slowly pulled the sheet even lower exposing his semi erect cock, I blew gently against it and watched as it started to come to life. Even just running my fingers along his shaft had an effect, soon Alex became fully erect even in his sleep. In the end I had to give in to the temptation in front of me, within seconds I moved fast and deep throated his throbbing cock.

I could feel Alex stir and I knew he was waking up, I just hoped he was in a really good mood and wouldn’t stop me straight away. Then suddenly his groin pushed forward and his cock went deeper, it wasn’t long before he was mumbling things and fucking my mouth.

“Shit Fox what the hell are you trying to do to me… that’s it keep sucking me Fox and make me as hard as possible.”

I did as Alex asked and realized I wanted him so much, even my own cock was erect and my ass throbbed with expectation. However right now all I wanted to do was give Alex pleasure, I could always deal with my own problem later. I sucked him hard and also let him use my mouth as hard as he wanted, then he slowed down and I realized he was talking to me.

“God you’re such a turn on, however right now I want to be deep inside you and fucking you hard. Fox get on your hands and knees for me, show me that backside lover.”

I let his erection slip from my mouth, I felt the loss straightaway but I knew it would be worth it soon enough. I turned around and got on my hands and knees as he asked, then I waited for him to touch me and fuck me hard.

“Oh yeah… god I want you so bad and I think this will be over in no time.”

“I don’t care how long it lasts, shit Alex I just want you inside me right now.”

“Pushy slut.”

“Whatever…”

I felt as Alex forced a couple of fingers inside me, he used a scissor motion to stretch me and make me ready for him. However, I soon realized he was only stretching me slightly, as soon it was his erection that now pressed against my ass. Alex was far from gentle as he entered me, and I could tell that he was desperate and wanted it fast and hard. Soon I struggled to keep myself in this position, at one point I thought Alex would end up pushing me off the bed as he fucked me. I had no idea what had made him this desperate considering last night, not that it mattered to me as I liked it fast and hard too.

Soon he reached one hand around and started jerking me off, then his body spasmed and he came deep inside my ass. Then within seconds my own orgasm hit and I collapsed on the bed, then the next thing I felt was the slap I received on my backside.

“Come on Fox we need to get cleaned up.”

“Yeah true.”

The day seemed to be a rather relaxed one after the morning activities, Alex had cooked the meals for us both while I cleaned the place up somewhat. That was one of the things I’d learnt that Alex hated, he always expected everything to be in its place, that also included me.

After a while Alex grabbed his jacket and keys, I was surprised as he’d never mentioned anything with regards to us going out. Right now I was still naked and only wore the collar, Alex wouldn’t let me wear clothes inside unless anyone was coming over. Ha well that was a joke, I realized that no one had come over since all this started with Alex.

“Fox I’m going to the dry cleaners and to see someone.”

“When will you be back?”

“I’ve no idea, maybe you should use the time to write all your reports.”

“Yeah I guess…”

“I’m sure you don’t want Skinner reaming your ass in front of Scully.”

“Yeah true.”

“Behave yourself while I’m out.”

“Yeah I will do.”

“Oh, and I expect you to still be naked when I return.”

“Yeah I understand.”

Alex kissed me and left without saying another word, now I would have to try and get myself motivated enough to write the damn reports for Skinner. Hell it wasn’t even like I had Scully anymore, nor could I even go for a run without Alex’s permission.

In the end I decided to be good and went to turn the computer on, that was when I realized it was already on and Alex must have used it while I was in the shower. I opened the files that I would need to start typing my report up, that was when I received a beep stating I had a knew email. However, I soon realized that it wasn’t mine, and it looked like Alex had forgot to log off earlier on. Well I was nosey by nature, I guess it was part of being a federal agent and what I did day in day out.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I read what his email address was, well I guess The Russian rat was rather appropriate for the man in question. I scrolled down a few that he’d opened and replied to, most seemed to be from companies that Alex had used and bought things from. One was even from a site that sold many sexual items, well at least I now knew where Alex bought all the stuff for me from. Just out of curiosity I looked to see who the latest message was from, the email wasn’t familiar and meant nothing at all to me, however it was the subject matter that caught my attention more than anything. Five words and it had me intrigued; Your Boss DO NOT DELETE.

Shit would Spender really email Alex, or did he have another boss that I was totally unaware of? Fuck it, I decided what the hell and opened the email and see what he wanted.

Alex you’re really starting to annoy me now and that’s something you really don’t want to do; you were given orders and have strayed well beyond what was expected of you. I will give you twenty four hours to contact me; believe me you won’t like it if I have to come looking for you. Spender.

So, it appeared that Spender was still his boss, now I started to wonder what the original orders were and just how far Alex had strayed? Shit then I realized I was fucked and would suffer for what I’d done, I’d opened one of his emails and he would take it out on me. Normally there was an option to mark it as unread, however of course that option wouldn’t be available when I most needed it.

I did the only thing I could think of doing, I hit delete and prayed Alex would never realize I’d spied on him. I sat for some time wondering if I should log him out, shit then I realized Alex could be testing me to see what I’d do. In the end I left him logged on and started on my own report, surprisingly I managed to write it within one hour and was now bored.

I hated having nothing to do, that was my biggest problem when Alex had restrained me in that room and left me there alone. Fuck it I’d take the risk, I went into my bedroom and dressed in my running gear. Once done I grabbed my trainers and fastened them up, then I realized I couldn’t remember when I’d last ran anywhere. There was once a time in my life when I ran every day, yet it was like I hadn’t done it for many months.

Finally, I grabbed a pen and piece of paper, a quick note for Alex and I was out of here. Once outside I ran and ran, the fresh air and the freedom was like a drug to my system and I didn’t want to stop. I had no concept of time whatsoever, I always found it easier to leave my watch and phone at home. The running was my time alone to think about nothing, and it was like I was free and had no worries at all.

Soon sweat was soaking my body and my clothes were becoming damp too, also my hair was now plastered to my head. Great and then just to make it worse the heavens opened and I was soaked, that was when I realized I was miles away from home. Shit now it would take me ages to run all the way back, and it wasn’t even like I had any money on me for a bus.

I tried to pick up some speed on the return journey, however now I was soaked through and my clothes were slowing me down. It must be rather late now considering it was dark, that alone told me it must be later than nine in the evening. Shit that meant I’d been out over six hours and it was at least another hours run to get home, if the weather stayed like this I wouldn’t reach Hegal place until midnight.

Well I decided I should do less thinking and more running, finally I rounded the corner and home was in sight along with Alex’s car. I could always pray that he’s in bed and fast asleep, I decided to brave it and took the lift up to my floor. Once there I took a deep breath and slowly opened my apartment door, and I walked into the dark apartment and within seconds a fist connected with my stomach. I collapsed to the floor as the pain made me lightheaded, shit I realized I’d not ate or drank anything the entire time I was out.

“Stay the fuck there Fox.”

“Alex…”

“Shut your fuckin mouth or I’ll shut it for you.”

I decided to take his advice and remained quiet for now, all I could do was wait and see what his next move would be. I watched as Alex went into the bedroom to get something, the next moment he was attaching the lead to my collar.

“I want you to go into the bathroom Fox and undress.”

I went to stand up and then a pain went down my side as he kicked me, I collapsed back to the floor in agony.

“Oh no, you can crawl there Fox. I gave you my trust and you threw it back in my face, well believe me I won’t make that mistake twice.”

Great it looked like we’d be returning to the old ways once more, Alex tugged on the lead and I had no choice but to crawl after him. Once there I was glad to strip out of all my wet clothes, then even more pleased as the warm water ran over my cold body. I tried to avert my eyes from Alex’s face, to be honest I was scared what I might just see there.

Alex never touched me as I showered, I was ordered to fully wash and rinse my own body. That soon changed though once I was finished, Alex stretched my arms up and attached them to the hook that was above me, straight away I knew what he had planned. Okay so things were definitely going backwards, an enema was something that Alex rarely did to me anymore.

I soon realized what its true purpose was, and Alex planned to humiliate me and make me suffer once more. Nothing at all was used on the tube so it would be easier on me, Alex made sure that he forced it inside me and then pushed it as far as it would go. I bit my tongue and tried to remain quiet, however that seemed to piss Alex off even more. Maybe that was why he used far more water than was necessary, it reached the point where I could no longer hold back and just take it. Suddenly I cried out in pain as my stomach cramped up, and I had a feeling the kick to my kidneys hadn’t helped either.

“Shut the fuck up Fox and stop moaning.”

“How can I when it hurts?”

“I don’t give a fuck, actually the more it hurts the better. Maybe I’m to blame somewhat and was too soft with you, well believe me that all changes right now.”

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this; I went for a run because I was bored.”

“Oh, believe me we’ll be discussing your actions, however than can wait until I punish you.”

“So, what the hell is this, fun…”

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll gag you Fox, I don’t want to hear another word until I say you can talk.”

I remained quiet for now, it wasn’t hard as my eyes were watering and my stomach felt like it was going to explode. Suddenly Alex pulled the tube out and just left me there, all I could do was close my eyes as nature took its course. I still had my eyes closed when Alex took hold of the shower head, he then rinsed off my body using the coldest setting possible. Once done he released my arms, I was just thankful that I was out from under that freezing water.

My teeth were chattering now and I just wanted to be warm again, I was tired and all my muscles hurt from the long hours running. Alex threw a towel at me without saying a word, so I used it to dry myself and try to get the circulation going again. Soon Alex grabbed hold of the lead and reattached it, shit now even his words sent shivers down my body.

“Don’t worry as I’ll soon warm you back up Fox, I want you to go lay on the bed face down.”

I didn’t see any point in asking questions, my safest option was to remain quiet and do as he ask. So now here I was on the bed face down, Alex followed me and cuffed both of my arms to the headboard, then as extra measure he tied the leash to it. Now I knew my movement would be totally restricted, that or I could end up strangling myself. Shit then I watched in horror as Alex grabbed hold of the whip he had, it was hardly used and I’d forgot just how painful it could be. Without even any warning the whip was brought down hard against my ass, then Alex paused to ask me a question and I knew no answer would be good enough.

“You disobeyed me Fox, you had no right leaving here without my permission. Do you realize what you did, you were gone hours and never even took you phone with you? I couldn’t even contact you or find out where you were, do you agree that what you did was stupid?”

“I thought I’d be back before you…”

Shit this time the whip came down repeatedly over my backside and thighs, it was that hard that I screamed out in agony and wanted it to end.

“So, it would have been okay if you’d arrived back before me, would you have just lied and pretended you never even left?”

“God, I don’t know… I can’t even think anymore.”

“Well that’s not good enough Fox, maybe I should restart your training all over again. I could take you back to that room and leave you there until you learn your place.”

“Please… I’m sorry Alex.”

“It’s far too late for that Fox.”

Alex brought the whip down a few more times as I thrashed around on the bed, at this rate I’d end up passing out from the pain alone. Finally I think he realized it was enough, that or he’d wait until later and start all over again.

“Lay there Fox while I clean you up.”

I did as he said, however I knew from the pain that the skin was damaged. Then as Alex cleaned me up I saw the cloths, yeah they were far from white now and was nearer a red colour. Alex undressed and got into bed beside me, he then pulled the covers over us both causing me to wince in pain. Even the light covers made my ass sting, also I soon realized that I were to be cuffed to the headboard until morning.

Alex lay on his side and faced me, even in this light his face showed nothing but disappointment and anger. Suddenly he ran his hand along my backside and then squeezed, I couldn’t help it as I screamed out and the tears dripped onto the bed.

“I’m sorry but you have to learn Fox, you had no right at all disappearing like that. I guess I’ll have to leave you restrained if I go out at all, you see things will change no matter what you think.”

“I’m so sorry Alex, please don’t take me back there.”

“Oh, don’t worry I’ll deal with you myself right here, you do realize a lot will have to change Fox if you want me to stay.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Do you even want me to stay, that or you can go back to your single life?”

“Yes of course I want you to stay Alex, I’m an idiot and I fucked up… Shit I’m sorry okay, look just do whatever you have to okay.”

“Oh believe me I intend to, from now on I will drive you to work and pick you up afterwards.”

“What about if I have to go away?”

“We can deal with that as it arises, chances are I’ll have to take you and stay in the hotel.”

“Oh shit, please Alex I can’t risk you bumping into Skinner again.”

“Fox I’m a big boy and can take care of myself.”

“What about Spender?”

“That’s nothing to do with you Fox, I can deal with him too.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yeah so shut up and go to sleep.”

“I’ll try.”

I didn’t think sleep would come anytime soon, however between the exercise and the pain I was out like a light. The following morning Alex was awake before me, however he remained in bed and it was obvious what he wanted. Well it didn’t take a genius to figure it out, well considering I woke to the pain as his groin rubbed against my abused flesh.

“Shit it hurts Alex…”

“Well you can just think of it as part of your punishment.”

I was in so much pain as he fucked me hard, it was that bad that I wasn’t even turned on as he used my body. I just tried to block it all out and pretend it wasn’t happening. Alex never even spoke; he literally used my body to feed his own hunger and then walked away afterwards.

I lay there and felt sick right now, every part of my body was in pain and I could barely even move. Soon Alex returned and released my arms, which I might add just caused me even more pain. In the end I had to lay on my side and prop myself up, no way could I sit on my ass while it was like this.

Alex brought me some toast and a coffee; I was far more eager to swallow the pills he’d brought. I just prayed they worked fast and I’d soon find some relief, shit then I remembered I was at work tomorrow. How the hell could I face anyone if it still hurt this bad, even the slightest movement caused me to moan out loud in pain.

“The pills will soon start working Fox, look at least that part of your punishment is over now.”

“How can I go to work like this Alex?”

“You’ve got all day and tonight Fox; you can stay in bed and rest. Spend the day laying on your stomach and take all the pills I give you.”

“Yeah okay, it’s not like I have much choice…”

I swallowed the pills and finished my coffee, soon I was back on my stomach and waiting for the meds to work. Alex came in and out of the room throughout the day, every time he brought more pills and applied some cream. I had to admit come night time it wasn’t as bad, however come morning I was stiff from laying in one place for so long.

Alex helped me shower and applied even more cream, he then supplied me with double the number of pills. Part of me wondered if he were feeling guilty over what he’d done, in the past he’d never beat me to that extent. Soon though I was back at the Hoover courtesy of my own chauffeur named Alex, now I had to pray I could get through this day without anyone commenting on my slow movement.

Little did I know that my day would get worse as it went along, my first run in was with Scully who’d come to collect something.

“Hey Scully, it’s good to see you here and looking so well.”

“Yeah you too Mulder, well actually you don’t look to good though.”

“Yeah well it was a rough weekend.”

“I take it you’re still with him?”

“If the him you refer to is Alex, then yes I’m still with him Scully.”

“No wonder you look like that Mulder, is he still using you and playing his games with you?”

“It’s not like that…”

“You don’t have to lie to me Mulder, the man’s psychotic and should be locked up.”

“Please Scully can we not argue about him?”

“Don’t worry I’m leaving anyway, I just called to collect a book I left here.”

“Please don’t leave like this Scully.”

“Mulder what we had is over, I won’t back down as long as that man is in your life. You need to take a long good look at yourself in a mirror, I bet he’s the reason why you can barely sit down and look so ill.”

“It’s not what you think Scully.”

“Do you know how many abused women use that same line Mulder, you’re a trained psychologist and should see this for what it is.”

“I love him Scully.”

“Then there’s no hope for you Mulder, you better make sure he never shows his face when I’m around or… never mind.”

“Or what Scully, do you really think you can take on Alex Krycek and win?”

“A swift bullet would deal with the likes of him, that or locking him up where he belongs.”

“You really do hate him, don’t you?”

“More than you’ll ever know Mulder, he hurt so many people and you act like he’s a saint.”

“He had his reasons Scully; he was used just as much as we were. Spender always made sure Alex knew his place, that’s the way his entire life was while working for that man.”

“Mulder he still works for him, hell even you’re nothing more than a job to him.”

“He just needs some time that’s all.”

“I’m leaving Mulder, stay out of my life while he’s with you.”

With that Scully turned and left, I realized I’d well and truly just lost my best friend and there was nothing I could do. Well apart from giving up the man I love, something that I’d never do willingly. Alex would have to leave me as I could never leave him, the phone on my desk started ringing and I jumped. I picked it up and expected to hear Alex, most probably checking up on me.

“Agent Mulder speaking.”

“Agent Mulder it’s Skinner.”

“What’s up Sir?”

“I need to see you in my office regarding a new assignment.”

“Can’t you just fax it to me Sir?”

“Agent Mulder do as I asked and come to my office right now.”

“Yes Sir, I’m on my way Sir.”

“Don’t be clever Agent Mulder, soon enough you’ll have that smirk wiped off your face.”

“What do you mean by that Sir?”

“Mulder my office now.

Skinner hung up and I replaced the handset, well it looked like I had little choice and had to go. I always hated it when I had to see him on my own, all I ever remember is what Alex made Skinner do to me. Well that was a great way to think while I was on my way to see him, maybe it really was to discuss some case with me.

I took the lift and got off at the appropriate floor, in my condition the stairs would have taken far too long causing Skinner to moan at me. Once there I spoke to his secretary Kimberly, apparently Skinner was waiting for me and I was to go straight in. I composed myself and made sure I masked the pain I still felt, shit then I realized sitting down in his office might give the game away anyway. I knocked and waited until Skinner answered, I then opened the door and walked into his office that smelt of cigarette smoke.

“Come take a seat Agent Mulder.”

“What the hell’s he doing here?”

“Agent Mulder sit down right now.”

I walked over towards the other empty chair and pulled it away from Spender, shit sitting down was the hardest part as they were both watching me. Straight away Skinner noticed my face as I sat, well fuck them as it was my life and not theirs.

“Agent Mulder are you okay?”

“Yeah I went out running and now I ache.”

“I take it you haven’t done much exercise then?”

“I haven’t done much running if that’s what you mean…”

“Agent Mulder it makes me question whether you should even be at work.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Agent Mulder you need to exercise regular or all the criminals will run rings around you.”

“Fine I’ll try harder Sir, however I’m sure that wasn’t the reason you called me here today.”

“No Spender here’s looking for Alex Krycek, he also wants a word with you regarding your relationship with Krycek.”

“You know why he’s with me, you were the one that ordered him to deal with me Spender.”

“Alex Krycek has gone way beyond any orders I gave him, let’s just say I’ve seen some of the things he’s done first hand.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Who do you think owns the club Agent Mulder, the club that Alex used on many occasions’?”

“Right I’ve had enough of this, you’ll find me in my office if you need me Sir.”

“Agent Mulder I haven’t said you can leave, I’m your superior and you do as I say while here.”

“Yeah I answer to you Sir and not him, that’s why I’ll be in my office.”

Right now Skinner could suspend me, I was past caring about what any of them thought and that included Spender. This time I took the stairs two at a time, I guess the anger had outweighed the pain I’d felt. Once there I entered my office and slammed the door shut behind me, I then sat in my chair and rested my head on the hard desk.

I felt sick thinking of all the things that happened at that club, just thinking about what Spender could have seen me do. Then there were also the things I’d let Alex do to me too, it didn’t bother me that Alex saw me like that but Spender was a totally different matter. Speak of the devil, I hadn’t locked my door and could only watch as Spender entered the room.

“Agent Mulder I need you to hear me out.”

“I don’t want to hear anything that comes out of your lying mouth.”

“Well I guess I could always go and find Alex Krycek; the man was always such a joy to play with and torture.”

“Fine say what you must and then get the hell out of my office.”

“I’m touched how you protect the man that’s torturing you, it also makes me question the true feelings you’ve developed for the man?”

“Any feelings I have for him are between us and only us.”

“I don’t think you understand Alex Krycek and who owns him.”

“Oh, he’s told me all about you and the life he’s had.”

“Yes, and I bet you believed every word that came out of his mouth.”

“Look just get on with it as I have work to do.”

“Alex Krycek works for me Agent Mulder; however, he seems to be preoccupied and doesn’t report to me when he should.”

“I’m sure he will when he’s ready, look you won’t find him here so you might as well leave.”

“Do you really like how he treats you Agent Mulder, are you willing to suffer how he abuses you and also lets others do it?”

“I can’t explain it to myself, so you have no chance of getting inside my head Spender.”

“I’ve heard from Skinner all about what went on in this very room Agent Mulder, how you let Alex restrain you and use you. However, that wasn’t all that happened was it…”

“Shut up…I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth.”

“Why Agent Mulder, does it disgust you to think about it. You were the one who let him use your own boss, can you even imagine how Skinner felt?”

“He’s okay and he got over it.”

“Really, I’m sure it’s an everyday thing for him. The man was forced to shove his hand up your ass to please the man that abuses you, can you sit there and tell me that’s normal?”

“I admit that Alex is fucked up in some ways, however I blame you for that one. Also look at how he managed to make Skinner do it, Skinner only agreed because Alex threatened him with that palm pilot. He did as Alex asked or suffered; Skinner suffers because you gave Alex the power over him so that’s your fault too.”

“I see you are very misled Agent Mulder.”

“Why would that be?”

“Alex stole the nano technology and he decided to use it on Skinner.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Think about it Agent Mulder, I’ve had control over Skinner long before that so it would serve no purpose to me. Alex stole it and even killed Orgel with it, maybe you don’t see how evil the man is.”

“He wouldn’t…”

“What use it on you Agent Mulder?”

“I know Alex, also I have to question why you let him use it then?”

“Because sometimes Alex needs to control Skinner when I’m not around, also you will never truly know him and should watch your back. Especially as he’s left you in dangerous situations and let many people take advantage.”

“I want you out of my office right now Spender.”

“Oh, I’m leaving Agent Mulder; however you might want to tell Alex I’m coming to collect what’s mine.”

Spender got up and left without another word, as for me I started tearing my office apart in search of any bugs. I knew that Alex had checked my office that day and made sure no one was listening in, so either Alex had missed one or it was Skinner. Shit would my own boss tell Spender what Alex had forced him to do?

I couldn’t confront Skinner without causing even more problems, so instead I decided to call the gunmen and ask them to check my office. For now I’d avoid Skinner and wouldn’t accuse him until I knew, however I knew I’d never trust him again if he’d gone behind my back and sucked up to Spender.

The gunmen said someone would come over later that day and fully check the place over, however right now I didn’t want to be here in case someone was watching or listening. In the end I decided to take a ride over to the club, I knew where it was and I was a big boy after all.

I guess I wouldn’t feel as intimidated while clothed and carrying my badge, first I left a message with Skinners secretary saying I’d gone home ill. Once that was done, I drove to the lone gunmen’s headquarters, I know I shouldn’t be giving them access to my office and that I could lose my job if caught. To be honest I no longer cared about anything, also I would trust them with my life.

Finally, I drove to the club and prayed it would be quiet, well it was daytime and I presumed a lot of people would be at work. Soon I arrived and parked my car up then got out, well here goes. I walked over towards the main entrance and saw the large bouncer that was on the door.

“Do you have an invitation Sir?”

“No, I just want to talk to someone.”

“Sorry no one enters without an invitation or a club member.”

Great I could see the man was going to test my patience, maybe I should send some feds over and make his life hell. For now, I would have to manage alone, I opened my coat and pulled out my own badge.

“Maybe you can class this as an invitation.”

“Sorry I have rules to follow.”

“Okay how about I get a warrant and have the place searched?”

“Look I’ll call someone and get them to come and talk to you.”

“Fine, just make sure it’s the boss.”

I stood and waited as he made the call, I couldn’t help but grin as he called me a rather angry fed who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“My boss is on his way here and will discuss the rules regarding the club.”

“Yeah well believe me when I say rules mean nothing to me.”

I stood there and waited for this so called boss to appear, shit when he did I was flooded with many other memories. The time when Alex had let the man fuck me with his fist and then forced his dick in my mouth. Alex had always claimed Steve was the boss, yet Spender had told me he owned the place.

“It’s good to see you Fox, I hardly recognized you with clothes on.”

“Yeah well I’m actually working and would appreciate you calling me Mulder.”

“Very well, come inside Mulder and we can talk in private.”

I was led into a small room with a desk and some filling cabinets, I presumed that it was his office and sat on one of the empty chairs. Steve walked over to a large cabinet draw and pulled out a bottle of vodka, he then grabbed a couple of glasses and sat behind his large desk.

“So, what is it I can do for you Agent Mulder?”

“Just call me Mulder, I’m here for personal reasons and not as an agent.”

“Okay at least you can have a drink with me, shouldn’t Alex be here with you then?”

“I didn’t mean as in a customer, I just want some answers regarding personal matters and security.”

“Fine ask away and I’ll do the best I can.”

“Very well, first I want to know who actually owns this place?”

“I do, I thought you already knew that?”

“Well I thought I did, however someone else claims to be the owner.”

“Can I ask who that person might be?”

“His name’s Spender, an old bloke who smokes way too much.”

“Ah I see, the man that Alex despises and wants to see dead.”

“Yeah I guess that’s him, so where does he fit into all of this then?”

“I’m the owner of the club, however Spender’s one of my customers.”

“What he comes here himself?”

“No, I’ll rephase that, he’s my biggest paying customer. Spender pays me well so that his employees can use the club whenever they want, I guess he figures it’s a place where he can check up on them in their free time.”

“So, did he ever come here to check up on Alex and what he was doing?”

“Not to my knowledge, Alex is different from all the rest and I owe him my life.”

“How come?”

“Things got nasty one night and someone pulled a gun on me, Alex jumped in the way and was shot in the shoulder. He saved my life that night and took a bullet that was meant for me, that’s why I’d always put his wishes above Spenders.”

“I find it hard to believe that Alex Krycek could put someone before himself!”

“Maybe you don’t know the man as well as you think, Alex never came here to find someone he could use, there were many men here that would have jumped at the chance.”

“I’m not surprised with the looks he has.”

“He came here to drown his sorrows and the man had plenty of them, however he only mentioned one person on every single visit.”

“Do you remember the name at all?”

“Yeah it was Fox.”

“Oh shit…”

“Yeah with a name like that we thought you must be imaginary, then one day he showed up with you and the rest you know.”

“Can you remember what he used to say about me?”

“Alex wanted you in many ways, yet I knew that Spender was pulling all his strings and he had to obey him. After a while he changed, or should I say Spender changed him. Alex would come here many times just to clean up, I guess we’d developed a trust between us and he felt safe here. Spender never knew how much time Alex spent here, then one evening he called in and drank plenty of vodka that night and could barely stand.”

“Did he say what had pissed him off that night?”

“No, in the end he asked for the bottle of vodka, I’d gathered he wasn’t in the mood to keep ordering small glasses of it. I knew something was wrong with him and it was worse than normal, that was why I spent most of the night watching him. Woe betide anyone that spoke to him, he would become angry with them and anyone who went near him.”

“So, did you ever find out what was wrong?”

“Alex drank until he passed out, he fell off the stool and came back around, however within seconds he started throwing up all over himself. At this point though he was far too gone to fight anyone, so I got one of my men to help take him to the showers. Once we were there I dismissed the other man out of respect for Alex, I’m sure he wouldn’t want everyone seeing him in this state.”

“Yeah I doubt it too, Alex’s reputation has always meant a lot to him.”

“Well I removed his socks and shoes; his jeans were another matter as they fit like a second skin. Alex always had a thing for black jeans and his leather jacket, I was just pleased he wasn’t wearing it when he threw up.”

“Yeah I remember how that’s all he wore; however it was an improvement on his taste in suits.”

“After that I pulled his tee shirt over his head and left him in only his boxers, I then pushed him backwards into the shower while he yelled curses at me.”

“Yeah that sounds like the Alex I know.”

“I knew he was scared about something; however I hadn’t expected his next move though. Alex slid to the floor and started crying, I tried talking to him and telling him nothing could be that bad and that I was here to help. Then he turned his back to me and huddled in the corner, that was when I saw the state of his back and realized it was far worse than I thought.”

“Shit was it really that bad, also did he say who’d done it to him?”

“His back was covered in whip marks; I could see that they even disappeared below his boxer shorts. That night we formed a bond that even Spender couldn’t break, this man before me was beyond broken and I had to help him. I forgot about everything else as I stepped fully dressed into that shower, I then held him close to me and washed all the traces of vomit away. I took him to my own room once he was fully clean and dry, there I covered every single cut with antiseptic cream so he’d physically heal. I knew that mentally it would take far longer, so I changed out of my own wet clothes and lay with him.”

“Jesus he’s lucky that he had you.”

“Yeah, that night I saw a totally different man, Alex moved close and I held him in my arms praying he’d fall asleep and get some rest. Not that it happened though, first he wanted to tell me who’d done this to him and why.”

“So, was it Spender then?”

“Spender had two men restrain Alex and then he himself whipped him, it was as if the man was possessed and wanted to destroy him. Finally I asked him what would make Spender hurt him in that way, he said Spender had done it for two reasons.”

I watched as the man stopped talking and grabbed his glass, he then swallowed the vodka in one large gulp. I knew this must be hard on him to re live it all and tell me what happened, I also realized there was so much about Alex’s past that I didn’t know.

“Spender knew that Alex had supplied you with some secret information, it pissed him off that Alex was willing to help you and regretted what he’d done to you. It was obvious that Alex liked you in some way or other, however Spender hated that as he wanted Alex for himself.”

“Shit, wanted him in what way?”

“Spender was obsessed with the man and wanted him in a sexual way, however Alex always despised him and refused every time Spender tried it on with him.”

“So, you’re also saying that Spender was jealous of me, that he wanted Alex that much?”

“Yeah that was why he went out of his way to mark Alex’s body, because he himself couldn’t have him.”

“Shit that’s totally fucked up.”

“Yeah well it didn’t end there, one time I was away on holiday and found out Spender had brought Alex here. He tried so hard to torture him and break him, yet Alex fought everything and refused to let Spender own him in that way. I swear I’d have stepped in if I were here, Alex later told me that Spender didn’t trust me at all and he’d waited until I was gone.”

“Yet Alex can freely beat others despite what happened to him?”

“Alex came in many more times over the following months, sometimes it was just for a drink or the conversation. There were a couple of times I’d seen Alex take meds, however I gave him space and never mentioned Spender or what he might have done. I figured Alex would tell me if he wanted me to know, then he disappeared for a couple of months.”

“Yeah Alex has always being good at doing that.”

“Yeah well it bothered me as he always came every couple of weeks, I’d tried asking around without any success. If anyone knew where Alex was they weren’t talking, then over two months later he suddenly re appeared.”

“So, did he tell you where he’d been in all that time?”

“No not a word, not that I bothered asking him either.”

“Why not, wasn’t you the least bit curious?”

“Yeah but Alex was different now, it was like something bad had happened and he wanted to make everyone pay for it.”

“Was he angry with you too?”

“Not outright angry, however he hardly spoke and it was as if I were a stranger to him. Oh, he knew who I was but it was like he didn’t care.”

“That must have hurt you, especially after what you did for him?”

“It did hurt, however what hurt the most was the man Alex had become.”

“I don’t understand, what else had changed about him?”

“I already said that he wasn’t interested in the men here, well upon his return that all changed. Alex wanted to become a player in the game, he wanted to be the master and have someone answer to him for a change.”

“Maybe it made him feel less like the victim, maybe he needed it so he could face Spender and what was done to him?”

“I thought that at first, however this was far from just that. Most that come here treat their slaves reasonably okay and give them a reasonable amount of punishment, after all it’s what the slaves want. Alex never went easy on them at all, he was really violent with the ones he chose.”

“So, I take it the slaves willingly come here looking for a master?”

“Many already come as a couple, however some slaves and masters come looking for a partner as they have no one. I guess not everyone’s into all this, so we try to make this a reasonably safe place. I guess on occasions Alex threatened what I’d built up, one man he put in hospital with a broken arm and rib.”

“Jesus, so was he still allowed to come here after that?”

“Yeah, he kept coming back, however he was warned about his behaviour and that I’d only tolerate so much. He never had the same slave more than one night anyway, I guess they learnt what sort of master he was. Alex could beat them and humiliate them and some didn’t like that, I also think some didn’t like him either.”

“I’m not surprised, shit not that I’m a good example after what he did to me.”

“Look I’m just warning you to tread carefully when you’re around him, you have to make him accept some rules or you’ll end up in hospital. Just remember I’ve seen how he treats you Mulder, you seem like a good man and don’t deserve to end up in hospital yourself.”

“Okay I’ll try and talk to him later.”

“Good because he’s no longer the Alex I came to know and love, I already said that it was a different man that walked in that night.”

“Yeah I’ll remember, I’ll see if I can find out what happened in the months he was gone.”

“You do that, then you might understand him and what you’re up against.”

I thanked Steve and got up to leave, shit two glasses of vodka and I was already lightheaded. Well at least I could go home now instead of the Hoover, it was then that I opened the door and walked straight into Alex.

“Shit Alex, what the hell are you doing here?”

“I might ask you the same question Fox.”

“I just came here to see Steve and check he was okay.”

Suddenly Alex grabbed me by my jacket and shoved me against the wall.

“Don’t you ever lie to me again Fox, wasn’t your punishment enough last time you lied?”

“Alex please…”

“Do you know how long I’ve stood there Fox?”

“No, I thought you’d just arrived.”

“Well your wrong, I’ve heard nearly every single word that you both said.”

“Oh shit, how did you know I was here?”

“Believe me I have many ways Fox, now I’ll have to take you home and show you the error of your ways once more.”

“Please Alex… I had a run in with Spender this morning and he’s pissed off with you. Did he order all of this Alex, or are you doing what the hell you want regardless of him and what he can do.”

“That’s got nothing to do with you Fox, you do as I say and nothing more.”

I shut my mouth and followed Alex to the car, he never laid another finger on me or even spoke to me. We drove home in silence and I was relieved, however Alex soon changed once we were behind closed doors.

“Go straight into the bedroom and undress Fox.”

“Alex at least let me explain a few things…”

Suddenly Alex punched me in the stomach and winded me, I could hardly breathe either as he grabbed the collar and dragged me into the bedroom.

“I said undress now, you do it Fox or I’ll cut every single item of clothing away from you with a sharp knife.”

“Fine just give me a minute.”

I stripped out of all my clothes as fast as I could, then I just stood there as Alex stared at me. In all honesty he was really starting to freak me out with the looks he was giving me.

“Lay face down on your stomach Fox, oh and I have no intention of restraining you today as it’s time you learnt your place. You have to learn that whatever I say goes, even if you have the opportunity to run away.”

I lay on the bed and wanted this over with, my ass was already a mess from the weekend. That was why I knew I was fucked if Alex pulled the whip out again, chances are he’d reach bone if he whipped me now.

“Shit I forgot about your backside, well it looks like the whip won’t be much use.”

“Thanks.”

“I can’t decide whether that’s sarcasm Fox, do you mean thanks for not remembering, or thanks for not doing it?”

“Shit, both I guess.”

“Great now I have to think of another way to punish you as nothing seems to work, so what do you think would be the ultimate punishment Fox?”

“If you walked out of that door and never came back.”

“What you see that as a punishment?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m far more fucked up than you thought…”

“Maybe, however I’d have no fun if I just walked out and never came back.”

“I’ve no idea then.”

“We’ve done the physical punishment, then I made you suffer sexually. Maybe this time it needs to be some sort a form of mental punishment. The question is what?”

“Alex everything you do to me affects me mentally, Skinner, Scully and everyone else would have me locked up for life just because I have you here with me. I allow you to do whatever you want, yeah okay I have slip ups now and again but I’m human.”

“Maybe I should just fuck you, or I could use my fist once more and see how far it will go?”

“Please not that Alex, I hate it and it hurts…”

“God you can be so stupid at times Fox, now you’ve literally told me how I can punish you.”

“Oh shit.”

“Stay there and don’t move while I get some stuff.”

I lay there and waited for Alex to return, part of what I said was a lie, just a little white lie so I wouldn’t suffer as much. It actually turned me on when he fisted me, the only part I hated was when his hand was at its widest part. Once fully inside all the pain was forgotten and I wanted more, maybe I really was a slut when it came to Alex.

“Right are you ready Fox?”

“I don’t have a choice, so I would rather you just get on with it.”

Alex grabbed some pillows and forced them under my groin, soon I had my ass high up in the air and on full display. He then moved between my parted legs and applied plenty of lube, it wasn’t long before he had a couple of fingers inside me.

“You might not want to believe all you hear Fox, just remember Steve’s more of a stranger to you than I am.”

“Yeah I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you will be soon.”

I’d swear that Alex knew what my game was, every time his hand was knuckle deep, he twisted it there and pulled back. All I wanted was for him to go beyond the tight ring of muscle, I wanted to feel pleasure and not just more pain.

“You’re so fuckin tight Fox, I can see your ass tighten up every time my knuckles reach that tight hole. You want this really don’t you Fox, because you’re nothing but a fuckin slut and it turns you on?”

“No, god that’s not true Alex…”

“Well let’s see if you will like it when I’ve finished with you, I’ll give you it all Fox and damn well will make sure you feel it all.”

“Alex…”

I never even managed another word, in one fast motion Alex pushed his hand fully inside me, I howled in pain and nearly jumped off the bed. Then suddenly his hand was gone, I felt him get up from the bed and come near my head.

“Maybe I should just use one restraint Fox, I’ll tie this lead so tight to the bed and you’ll be far too scared to move at all.”

Shit I knew that he was right, very soon I could hardly move my head without the lead pulling the collar tight. After that Alex casually took his place between my legs once more, he then forced his hand back inside me. This time he turned it into a tight fist and pounded against my prostate, I bet I’d have many internal bruises or even cuts by the time he finished with me.

Soon Alex was trying to work his arm even farther inside me, I guess it was a natural reaction to clamp my ass tight against the offending object.

“Relax and let me in Fox, that or I can get a knife and tear you wide open.”

Suddenly I had images in my head that I didn’t want there, so all I could do was will my body to submit and relax. Alex forced it in even farther, this time he twisted his fist around causing the knuckles to damage my tender flesh.

“God your so fuckin hot Fox, I’m so turned on and want to feel my cock buried deep inside your body. I will fuck you hard, use your slut of a body how it was meant to be used.”

Alex pounded into me a couple more times, he then kept his hand as a fist when he pulled it out. I couldn’t help but scream in agony from the pain, shit that just turned Alex on even more and he started laughing at me.

“You see I’m not stupid Fox and knew what you wanted; well I guess we don’t always get what we want do we…”

Shit suddenly Alex bent forward and bit my ass, now I screamed even more as his teeth sank into the cuts that were already there.

“Shut the fuck up Fox or I’ll have to gag you.”

All I could do now was lay here as he fucked me, it wasn’t as big as his fist but the damage had already been done. My insides burned and throbbed as he worked up a rhythm, then suddenly he was coming deep inside me.

Alex pulled himself away and removed the pillows and lead, he was even tender as he got a wet cloth and cleaned me up. I was even more surprised when he lay beside me and held me in his arms, and soon he was kissing me gently upon the lips and I wanted more, within five minutes I’d forgotten all about the pain he’d caused me.

I realized I’d forgive him for anything, maybe I was mad after all and deserved to be locked up. I’d lost any respect I had from my boss and lost my best friend, hell she was my only true friend. Not that it mattered right now, I’d sacrifice everyone and everything for Alex Krycek. I was happy and slowly drifting into sleep, however I soon jerked awake when I heard some banging. It took me a few seconds to realize it was my door, Alex just grabbed a robe and prepared to answer the door.

“I bet it’s one of your neighbours Fox, well after all you did make enough noise to wake the dead.”

“Hey you caused it.”

“Whatever.”

With that Alex was gone, soon though I heard Alex’s raised voice and realized he was arguing with someone. I never even had a chance to get out of the bed, the door slammed open and in walked that black lunged bastard.

“What the hell are you doing here Spender?”

“Be quiet Fox unless you want to suffer.”

“Spender leave Fox out of this, it’s me that’s pissed you off.”

“Oh, don’t worry yourself Alex, believe me I have no intention of hurting Fox.”

One of Spenders goons forced me to the floor so I was kneeling, then Spender came over and pulled my chin up so I was facing him.

“You will remain there Fox, one of my men will cuff your hands behind your back so you can’t interfere.”

“Go to hell you cancerous piece of shit.”

Suddenly Spender backhanded me and my lip split open, I watched as Alex tried to help me. One of Spenders goons stopped Alex and bent his arm behind his back, now Alex was as trapped as I was.

“One of you find something to shove in his mouth, afterwards you can stay there and keep a gun to his head. If Fox moves or fights you shoot him, I can see the fear there Fox however the choice will be yours to make. If you fight or interfere in any way whatsoever, you’ll die, also I will stand and make Alex watch as I kill you painfully.”

Soon I was knelt here and couldn’t more or even talk, then Spender turned all his attention towards Alex. Spender went towards Alex and grabbed hold of his chin, he then kept a tight grip as he forced his mouth onto Alex and kissed him. The minute Spender moved away Alex cursed, I then watched as he spat on the floor in disgust.

“You can behave however you want Alex, not that it will change the outcome. I’ve told you many times that you’re mine, I made sure things would be different this time. Something must have gone wrong with all the programming; you were meant to come to my bed willing and accept me as your lover.

“You sad bastard, do you really think anyone would want you.”

Suddenly Alex was punched hard in the stomach, hell I could even see his eyes water from the pain. Maybe that was what had changed with Alex when he was missing for two months, Steve had said he came back a changed man. Could Spender have played with his brain and tried to re programme Alex, I knew that he had the opportunity and people like Jeramiah Smith around.

I thought about and realized anything was possible with Alien technology, ha maybe they met their match when it came to Alex Krycek. Then I heard Spender once more and feared for the man I loved; I knew he’d react bad to what Spender wanted.

“You two remove the robe and restrain him on the bed, I want you to stretch him fully out and restrain all his limbs.”

Soon Alex was stood there naked, then he was forced face down onto the bed. One by one the two men restrained Alex, now he lay there on the bed in a crude X shape. I knew neither of us could have taken on Spender and his men, I just prayed we’d get out of this whole and alive.

All I could do was watch in disgust as Spender touched Alex, he was running his fingers along his spine and along his ass cheeks. Spender grabbed the pillows and used them to force Alex’s backside higher, then he started running his fingers between Alex’s ass. Suddenly Alex cried out as Spender forced a dry finger inside him, he then pulled it out and forced two inside instead. I knew that this would destroy Alex mentally, the man hated someone fucking him this way.

Suddenly Spender stood up and started unfastening his suit pants and I forced myself to look away, within seconds he was there removing the gag and forcing me to look at him once more.

“Your eyes remain open Fox, I want you to see him suffer and realize he’s no better than you. He has no right touching you, never mind all the perverse stuff he’s done.” 

“I can’t, please just let him go.”

“Why would you want me to do that Fox? I’m taking revenge for you and will make him pay.”

“I love him…that’s the reason why I don’t want you to hurt him.”

“Jesus you’re more messed up than I thought son.”

“Don’t you dare call me that.”

“Well you see Alex he’s is mine and always will be, maybe you might learn that if you watch?”

“Go to hell Spender.”

“Okay how about this, every time you close your eyes he’ll suffer.”

“What?”

“You heard me; every time I see you close your eyes; I’ll have my men break one of his fingers.”

“You can’t do that…”

“Yes, I can and I will.”

I had to kneel there and watch as Spender returned to the bed, worse was when he mounted Alex and forced his erection deep inside his unprepared body. I’d never heard Alex scream out like that before.

“You’re so tight my dear Alex, oh and I’ve waited so long for this moment.”

“Make the most of it Spender, I’ll break your fuckin neck the first chance I get.”

“You don’t scare me at all Alex.”

I could hear Alex cursing in Russian, it was obvious that he’d hurt Spender if ever he got the chance. I could even feel the tears as they rolled down my cheeks, watching the man I loved being abused was something I’d never forget as long as I lived.

Spender was brutal with Alex; he would scrape his nails down his back and pull his head back using his hair. It was only as I heard Spender come that I felt some relief, surely the man would leave now he had what he wanted. I soon realized that wasn’t his plan just yet, Spender re dressed and noticed the whip that was on the floor. Shit his look alone chilled me to the bone, he then held it up and used it repeatedly on Alex’s backside.

Worse was listening to him as he now sobbed in agony, shit Spender made sure the skin broke every time the whip made contact. I could see that his back was a mess and there was plenty of blood, and it was far worse than what Alex had ever done to me. Finally, Spender dropped the whip, he then ran his hand along Alex’s cheek.

“You are mine and always will be, you can stay here until you heal as your no use to me in this condition. Once healed you’re to come back to me, do I make myself clear Alex?”

“Yes.”

“Good, my men will release Fox and then he can free you once were gone.”

“Whatever.”

I could tell that Alex was beyond listening now, however I remained quiet and waited to be free. One of Spenders goons removed the cuffs and kept the gun against my head, I realized what he was doing, he would remain here until his boss was safely in his car and then he’d follow. Of course Spender wouldn’t hang around as we were freed, hell right now even I wanted to kill the man.

“I hope you’ve learned your lesson Fox and what Alex really is like, you’d do better to move on and forget all about him.”

“It won’t happen.”

“Well you won’t have a choice once he returns to me, anyway I’m leaving so do take care Fox.”

“Fuck you.”

Spender walked out without even replying, then I had to wait until his goon followed. I knew it was only a couple of minutes, however to me it felt like hours as I watched Alex moan in agony. Finally the wait paid off, the minute he left I rushed over to Alex.

“Shit try and lay still Alex while I remove the restraints.”

“Whatever.”

I removed all the restraints so that Alex was free, yet he just lay there without even moving. I decided to get some warm water and plenty of cream to clean him up, Spender had literally split the skin wide open and I wanted to throw up as I tried to clean him.

I was as gentle as possible and even applied plenty of cream to stop any infection, I could also see that Spender had even damaged the entrance to his anal passage. Shit how could I clean him up there after what he’d just suffered. In the end I decided to ask him, as all I could remember was those stained fingers forcing their way into his body.

“Alex, please talk to me as I don’t want to hurt you.”

“What do you want from me Fox, shit can’t you just fuck off and leave me alone?”

“Alex I’m trying to help that’s all.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help, especially yours Fox.”

“Alex, I have to clean you up, Spender smokes and his fingers were all stained.”

“Fine just do it, at least that way you can leave me the hell alone.”

I knew that Spender had entered him dry and didn’t want to make it any worse, so I decided to grab the lube and coat my finger with it. At least there was no resistance as I pushed my finger deep inside him, I could hear him take a deep breath as I moved it around and felt for any damage. Once I removed my finger I noticed a small amount of blood, and I knew with the antiseptic cream Alex would soon heal.

“There it’s all done Alex; however, I don’t think you’ll be able to sit up anytime soon.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“Do you want anything else?”

“No.”

“I can lie with you if you want?”

“All I want is for you to fuck off and leave me alone Fox.”

“Fine have it your way, look get some rest and I’ll check on you later.”

I walked out of the bedroom and left Alex there alone, for now I would get a shower and possibly some sleep. I waited until later that night before checking on Alex, and then I entered the room quietly and to my dismay he was still in the exact same position.

“Alex you need to wake up and eat something, please talk to me so I can help you.”

“You want me to eat so I don’t become sick, hell right now I can barely even fuckin move.”

“Do you want me to get something for the pain?”

“No, I just want to be left alone.”

“Fine, I take it you want me to sleep on the couch then…”

“Fox, I don’t give a fuck where you sleep, well as long as it’s nowhere near me.”

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand Alex, why the hell are you blaming me for this and making me suffer?”

“It’s nothing personal Fox, I just want to be left alone so I can deal with this.”

“Whatever.”

I grabbed a blanket and a couple of pillows and went back into the room; I knew I’d get very little sleep on that uncomfortable couch. It was times like this that I wished I had my old one back, well Alex had insisted I’d never have to sleep on the couch again.

Could the man not see that I loved him and hated to see him like this, having to watch him suffer and not even be there for him. I guess all I can do now is sleep and check on him in the morning, I wondered if maybe I should phone in sick tomorrow. Yeah right, chances are Skinner would send someone over to see if it were true.

I finally fell asleep, yet I woke a few times from the noise Alex made and the pain in my back. I’d heard him moaning and shouting out as if someone were there, however I was afraid to go to him just yet. I guess that was why I felt so shit when morning finally came, I pulled myself up off the couch and stretched to ease my back somewhat and then went into the bathroom.

I showered and shaved, now I’d have to go into the bedroom to get a clean suit. I entered ever so quietly just in case he was finally sleeping; well he had his eyes closed and was lightly snoring. I managed to get a suit and some underwear without even waking the man up, soon I was all clean and ready to go to work. First, I went to get him some pain meds and a glass of water, I would leave them next to the bed for when he woke so he wouldn’t have to move. This time when I entered I noticed Alex was watching me, well at least he now knew I’d left the meds there for him. It was the way he was looking at me that worried me, at times he looked so lost and confused, then also angry at times.

“Fox where are you going?”

“It’s morning Alex and I should be on my way to work; I already slept in and will have to suffer the wrath of Skinner.”

“You’re not supposed to go unless I take you Fox.”

“Yeah well I don’t think you’re capable of that do you? Look Alex I’ll go to work and later we can discuss things, I can’t risk Skinner suspending me.”

“Yeah go on then fuck off and go, it’s not like anything I say matters…”

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me, it’s not my fault that Spender hurt you and you can’t drive me to work is it?”

“So basically, you’ll spend the day doing what the hell you want?”

“I give in and I’m leaving, just punish me when you can be arsed to get out of that bed.”

“Oh, don’t worry I will.”

I slammed the bedroom door shut and grabbed my car keys, I never even looked back as I locked the door and left him there alone. The man could be impossible at times and it pissed me off, also I knew he would make me suffer once he could finally move. I was lucky and arrived at work without bumping into Skinner, so I took advantage of that fact and went straight to my basement office.

It was good to work down here from all the other agents, at first I thought I’d be lonely now I no longer had Scully here with me. I noticed that someone had left a note on my desk, great apparently Skinner must have come looking for me with regards to some case. It appeared that the BSU was in need of a profiler on a case, there were a spate of murders and they believed the same man had killed them all.

I noticed that there was also a case file with the note, maybe I could read it and do the profile without having to go out into the field. I’d dealt with many cases like this and it should be fairly easy, also I wasn’t willing to go away just yet when Alex might need me later.

It turned out there were six victims, each body had turned up with the victim naked and restrained with cable ties. Their ankles were tied together, also their wrists were restrained behind their backs. All six were blindfolded and gagged, shit then I realized that all six had one more thing in common. Every victim also wore a collar, my fingers automatically went to the collar that was around my own neck. I was starting to wonder if this was some kind of joke, had Skinner made up the case as a way to get at me and make me feel more abnormal than I already did. I decided to look at all the photos first, at least that way I’d know if this was all genuine or not.

The victims were all sporting various bruising on their bodies, I even noticed that some of them had teeth marks on their buttocks and thighs. According to the reports all of them had traces of semen inside their anal passage, most also showed tearing and damage to the thin membrane associated with non consensual sex.

So, all were abused in the same way, also the cable ties were also an exact match. So, the killer took his time and made sure they couldn’t fight back. It felt like he had no control over himself, and he obviously preferred males and must be gay. If the perpetrator preferred women he was more likely to use them as it would be easier. A male victim could be harder to subdue and take control of, also I got the impression he was male because of the abuse the men had suffered.

I looked back through the autopsy reports to see what the main cause of death was, I had to know if they’d all met their fate the same way. Shit I soon realized this case was way too close to home, all the victims were found in their own homes and in the bedroom. The victims all had a leash attached to the collar they wore; they were also all found hanging from the shower with the lead wrapped around their throat.

So, I would say the man abuses them in the bathroom, he gets off fucking them and abusing their bodies, afterwards he wrapped their lead around their throats. Their weight alone would pull them down until the lead choked them to death, then I believe that afterwards he just leaves and carries on with his life

That would indicate that the man was reasonably strong, either that or they were forced to stand on something that was later pulled away. I guess it was the same way that people were hung in the dark ages, the lead would effectively replace the noose.

The murderer was someone who wanted to control others, that or he was possibly gay and didn’t like the fact that he was. If he despised men sexually he wouldn’t want to touch them in that way himself. The scariest part was realizing the man could be someone just like Alex, liked having power over them and have them do as he says, the power itself can be like a massive high and they crave far more. After a while it normally ends up taking over most of their life, also they adjust to what they do and have to inflict more pain with each victim.

Maybe I should look at some earlier cases, see if there were any cases that fit where the victim had survived. Maybe at the beginning it was just sexual abuse, then over time he had to step up his game so that it had an effect on him. I have to wonder if the killing came later on, shit I also had to wonder if Alex could end up like that too?

Thinking about it, Alex already had killed people without issue, maybe one day he’d torture me and end up strangling me or something. Only last night he was trying to think up new ways to torture me, that just proved that he was getting bored and wanted a better high.

Well I really should stop thinking about him, I was working and had a job to do. Chances are the killer had a very dysfunctional upbringing, maybe he himself had a father that had abused him. Some killers no longer wanted to be the victim, however due to a messed up head, they don’t realize that they’ve become everything that they hated. History repeats itself, this time though with them in control and having all the power.

Once they would have feared someone, most likely a close family member that they trusted. The child is then abused and loses everything as the abuse and pain carries on, the only way out is to be the one on top of it all and in charge.

Great I knew that I was starting to ramble on, well it was hard when images kept popping in my head of Alex. Was he once a small and frightened child afraid to even sleep, he had to be the one in control and Spender had just robbed him of that power?

I was really starting to think Skinner had handed me this case on purpose, I’m not the only criminal profiler that works within the FBI. Granted I was, and still am one of the best the bureau has ever had. This was just way to close to the life I now had, knowing my luck he’d do it in the hopes I’d come to my senses and get rid of Alex.

All I wanted to do now was get my report typed up, hand it over to Skinner and forget all about the case and the photos I’ve seen. So that was what I spent the next couple of hours doing, the report was unbiased and based on my skills as a profiler and nothing more. Once done I took the lift and went to see Skinner, that way I could avoid him for the rest of the day if possible.

I knocked and waited, however within minutes Skinner told me to enter. I could see that he was giving me the once over, chances are he was trying to see if I still wore the collar or had any signs of abuse.

“Take a seat Agent Mulder, I take it you received my note and the case files?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Did you manage to do a profile from the information you were given?”

“Yes Sir, I’ve wrote up a profile of the killer and included a few things to look out for.”

“Very good, I appreciate you doing it so fast Agent Mulder.”

“No problem, is there anything else Sir?”

“Actually, there is Agent Mulder.”

“What?”

“I’m rather concerned about you.”

“I’m okay, I don’t see what the problem is with you all?”

“Well I’d have thought that was obvious, especially considering the man you’re carrying on with.”

“I’m alive and I’m not covered in bruises, so that should tell you a lot.”

“Did you not see a resemblance Agent Mulder, the profile you yourself have made regarding a killer.”

“Is that why you gave me the case Sir?”

“No, it isn’t, the BSU genuinely needed some help with it.”

“Okay, I thought you were implying that Alex is the same and would do that to me?”

“Well you have to admit that he’s killed before, also he seems to be capable of dishing out abuse.”

“I’m capable of handling him myself, I’d soon let him know if things got out of hand.”

“Really?”

“I’m fine Sir, however I’d like to get on so I can go home.”

“Very well Agent Mulder, just remember that I’m here for you should you need help or someone to talk with.”

“Thanks’ Sir I’ll keep that in mind.”

I left his office and returned to the basement, I’d stay a couple more hours and then head home to check on Alex. Great there on the desk sat all the photos of the victims, one look and my blood ran cold and my stomach wanted to empty its contents. Great I should have handed them to Skinner with the report, well I’d phone him and see what he wanted me to do with them.

Skinner told me to take them directly to the Behavioural Science Unit, apparently, they were working with other agencies and would need them as soon as possible. On the upside Skinner said I could leave afterwards; I was pleased with that as it felt like I’d neglected Alex in his time of need.

Skinner had phoned the department to let them know I was coming, as I had to report to the leading agent on the case. I still could remember my own time working here and recognized a lot of the agents, most just rushed past me and didn’t even speak to me. Finally, I found his secretary and explained who I was, I was then told to take a seat and wait.

I didn’t understand why he wanted to see me, I could have left the photos here and gone home early for a change. I figured if I sat here too long I’d be asleep, I knew that I couldn’t sleep on that couch indefinitely or I’d never walk again. My thoughts drifted back to my own life, the time I’d spent here working under Bill Patterson.

I’d spent three years having him as my mentor and investigating a series of gruesome murders, shit and look how that had ended. I’d placed all my trust in Patterson, only to be betrayed in the end. I’d shot the man because of his part in the crimes, and he survived and was then imprisoned just like all the killers he’d caught.

Now was I doing the same all over again, was I putting my trust in someone else who was nothing more than a killer. Right now I believed that Alex was nothing like that, however once I’d have thought Patterson not capable of murder.

That was one of the main reasons I wanted out of the BSU, you have to put yourself in the head of killers and rapists. The belief is to catch a monster you have to become one yourself, it would have destroyed me to carry on working in this department.

I was just thankful that I got out when I did, maybe that was why I resented having to come back here now. Great the waiting game always gave you plenty of time to think, that was why I was glad when his secretary said he was ready to see me.

“Agent Mulder come in and take a seat, I’m Richard Kemp, just call me Rich.”

“It’s good to meet you, I’ve brought the photos back that Skinner gave me.”

“Yeah he told me you were dropping them off, he also faxed me the profile you wrote.”

“I just hope that some good comes of it and you catch him.”

“Actually, we’ve had a few suspects and the local police has helped out too, with your report we’ve managed to narrow it down to two suspects.”

“That’s great, I hope one them is your man.”

“So, do we.”

“Okay, well I guess I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Actually, there was something else I wanted to ask you.”

“Okay, what would that be?”

“We have agents picking up the two suspects as we speak, I was hoping you’d sit in on the interviews and give me your opinion.”

“I’m sure you have plenty of agents that could do that?”

“There’s something about you Agent Mulder, it’s like you sense what their capable of before anyone else.”

“God no wonder they call me spooky.”

“Well we can only hold them for so long, basically I don’t want to see the killer walk and kill more people. We did all our research on the gay scene and places they frequent; however, most are becoming afraid to leave their homes now.”

“Fine I’ll stay until the interviews end.”

“Great, I can’t thank you enough Agent Mulder. We can make our way down to the interrogation room, that way we’ll be ready to deal with the suspects.”

I followed the agent and we entered a small room, within five minutes the first suspect was brought in. I left the questioning to Agent Kemp; at the end of the day I was only here to give my opinion.

The agent asked all the usual questions and the man answered straight away, he had alibis for every single murder. It was the person that supplied the alibis that I didn’t like, for some reason the name was familiar to me. In the end I asked the agent to excuse me while I made a call, then it didn’t take long to run the names of people I’d questioned or charged with something.

I finished up with my call and went back into the small room, once there I asked if I could question him for a few minutes. The agent said it wasn’t a problem, however it was the way the suspect watched me that made me wary. Shit he was looking at me like the others had in the club, to be honest I was thankful that I wasn’t alone with him.

“Okay you’ve said you have an alibi for all the nights in question?”

“Yeah I’ve already told you that.”

“Very well, you are aware that we’ll have to check it out and see if you were really there?”

“Yeah so what…”

“Can you please give us an address for the nights in question.”

I sat there and watched as he wrote an address down, I then looked at it to see if it matched the one I had. That was when I realized my hunch was right, the women were questioned in the past by one of the other agents and no one had seen the connection.

“Miss Kelly was questioned with regards to the club she runs, also with regards to the clients that go there.”

“So, what’s the big deal.”

“You share the same address and live together as a couple, also on all the nights in question she was at work. I checked into her role at the club, she works far more than just the bar, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah and…”

“Miss Kelly books in customers and takes all their details, she would therefore have all the addresses and know that they were there as slaves. Every victim was killed on the same night after they visited the club, so you see you have no alibi because Miss Kelly finished work after the men were already dead. She gave you their details and then you followed them home, once there you beat them and restrained them…”

“You know jack shit.”

“Believe me I know far more than you think, you sexually abused them once they were incapable of fighting back. You also made a point of hanging them from a leash attached to the shower, I presume that was to make people think they’d died of autoerotic asphyxiation.”

“You can’t prove anything.”

“Oh but I can, you see we narrowed it down to two suspects. All we need is a DNA sample, you see you made the mistake of leaving your DNA behind when you raped the victim.”

“You fuckin bastard…”

Within no time at all he jumped up and grabbed me by the throat, then within seconds he suddenly let go of me and dropped back down in his seat.

“It all makes sense now and how you knew it was me, is that why it was easy for you to figure out who went to the clubs and why I’d look there?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You, you’re like all the men that go to that club. You’re a bunch of fuckin queers, you get off letting men order you around and treat you like shit. You’re all pathetic, I should kill every single one of you.”

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, I do know that you’ll be going to prison for a long time though.”

“What are you afraid to admit that you wear a collar, and someone owns you?”

“Go to hell, right Agent Kemp I have to go.”

I never even gave either of them chance to say another word, I was out of there as fast as lightening and returned to the safety of my own office. Come tomorrow half of the FBI would know that I wore a collar, also they’d know that spooky Mulder liked it when someone fucked him up the arse.

I knew that I was overreacting, chances are I could bluff my way out of it and think up another reason for collar. Maybe I could say that I had a domineering girlfriend and she liked to restrain me, or I could just admit that I was a total fuck up. My phone started ringing and I just sat there staring at it, I was afraid the rumours were already doing their rounds.

I sat there for another ten minutes watching the small flashing light on the phone, finally I snapped out of it and grabbed the receiver. Well whoever it was had left a message, and it was easier listening to a machine than it was talking face to face. I listened to the whole message, apparently Agent Kemp said that what went on in that room would remain between them, he was going to keep my secret and was just pleased with my results.

I took a deep breath and was thankful, shit I was already known as spooky Mulder the loony agent. I didn’t want to add others to that list and make it any longer, I knew there were plenty of names they would tag me with if the truth ever got out.

Jesus this day had just turned into one long nightmare, I was tired and hungry, also I wanted to go home and see Alex. Finally, I made sure I had everything and prepared to leave for the day, then once I was in my car I tried calling Alex to tell him I was on the way home. Five attempts and nothing, either Alex was asleep or he’d gone out.

I drove home at the normal speed and took the lift to my floor, part of me was worried as to what I might find and that was why I was stalling. I knew deep down my biggest fear was finding out he’d left; Alex could disappear for months on end if he wanted and no one would find him.

I opened the door silently and hung my jacket up, well at least his leather jacket was still here and I didn’t think he’d leave without it. I then kicked off my shoes and removed my weapon and badge, a quick look around showed me that nothing had changed since I left this morning. The blanket and pillows were still on the couch where I’d left them, maybe that was Alex’s way of letting me know where I’d be sleeping tonight.

Finally I tiptoed over to the bedroom door and slowly opened it, straight away I noticed Alex on the bed with his back to me. He was still naked and I could see the damage from here, Spender sure as hell left his mark upon his body. I wanted to go and kiss him and tell him I loved him, yet I was afraid of the reaction I might receive.

I decided to slip into the room and see if he was even awake, I went over to the other side of the bed and found him asleep. I also found an empty vodka bottle that had been full this morning, well I guessed that was why Alex was fast asleep. Shit then I remembered the meds I’d given him; I decided to wake him and check he was okay and just sleeping.

“Alex come on it’s time to wake up.”

“Fuck off.”

“Alex, I need to check that you’re okay, also I need to put some more cream on the cuts.”

“Just let me sleep Fox.”

“Have you moved at all Alex? Well of course you have as you managed to get the vodka; did you actually get any food while you were up?”

“No, I wasn’t hungry.”

“Alex you can’t drink and take meds on an empty stomach.”

“Fox will you fuck off and leave me the hell alone…”

“Fine have it your way, starve to death and see if I care.”

“Close the door on your way out…”

“Great I might as well talk to myself.”

I grabbed some sweatpants and an old tee shirt; I then shut the door and went for a long soothing shower. The water was heaven as it ran down my aching body, not that it was going to change anytime soon with the mood Alex was in. I would have to look forward to another night on that god damn awful couch, great my day was just getting worse by the minute.

I decided on a pizza for dinner, I didn’t see the point in cooking something just for me, also I couldn’t be bothered to cook either. Once the food came I shoved a sci fi film into the VCR and sat back on the couch, I then ate the pizza and tried to forget about the day I was having, I had to admit that I soon felt relaxed and rather full.

The film finished and I switched the television off, I then put the remainder of the pizza in the kitchen in case Alex woke and was hungry. Now I had the job of sleeping on that couch, it was times like this that I really missed my old one. Yeah well Alex had claimed I’d always have to sleep with him and that was why he got rid of it, yet here I am sleeping back on the couch just like old times.

It was a struggle to get comfortable, also it was hard to move around too much without falling off. At some point sleep must have come, yet I woke to loud banging and thought someone was breaking in. Then It took me a few seconds to realize the noise was in the kitchen, also I could hear Alex moaning about something.

In the end I decided to go see if he was alright or wanted anything, well it wasn’t like I could sleep through the noise. I found him knelt down on the floor and pulling things from the cupboard.

“Alex what are you looking for?”

“I bought a few bottles of vodka and want to know where they are, it’s not like you’d have drank that much is it?”

“Don’t you think you’ve drank enough Alex, maybe you should eat something instead.”

“Yeah and maybe you should stop telling me what to do.”

“Alex, I do care about you.”

“Whatever, do you care about yourself Fox?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have one minute to tell me where the vodka is, or else…”

“Or else what Alex?”

“I’ll show you exactly who’s in charge Fox, maybe I could use the whip on you again, that or we could visit the club.”

“God I’ve had enough of all this shit, look in the top cupboard if you want it.”

“See, it wasn’t that hard was it.”

“Yeah well you can go and drink yourself to death, see if I care Alex.”

With that I stormed out of the kitchen and left him to it, all I wanted to do was get some sleep before work in the morning. I’d managed to walk a few steps when I felt Alex grab the collar, he then pulled me back towards him and let go. Within seconds I was spun around to face him, right now I knew he’d suffered but that wasn’t an excuse for this behaviour.

“What did you say to me Fox?”

“I said you can drink yourself to death…”

Shit suddenly Alex backhanded me and split my lip open, then he punched me in the stomach and I collapsed to the floor. Alex calmly grabbed the vodka and just walked straight past me; within seconds I heard the bedroom door slam shut.

At first, I just sat there on the floor where he’d left me, I swear if Skinner or anyone saw me like this, they’d have me committed straight away. Maybe that was why I finally moved and cleaned my face up and grabbed some ice, I didn’t want it to swell when I had work soon.

Finally, I went back into the room and lay on the couch and waited for sleep to come, well sleep never came as fast as morning did. I was exhausted and had been awake most of the night, now I had to go face everyone at work. Also, to make it worse my face was showing signs of a bruise, and right now I couldn’t even think of a single way to hide it.

I was so thankful that no one was around when I entered the building and reached my office, I was well aware of the fact I looked a complete mess and hadn’t even had time to shave this morning. Well I got to work and did okay for the first couple of hours, it was then that Skinner actually showed up in my office, I was surprised as he hardly ever came and always made me go see him.

“What brings you down here Sir?”

“I just wanted a word that’s all Agent Mulder.”

“Fine, fire away then.”

“Agent Kemp called me and said you’d managed to help them identify a man as the killer.”

“Yes Sir, it only took a few questions and I could tell by his reactions that he was guilty.”

“I’m pleased, however Agent Kemp asked me to keep an eye on you.”

“What for?”

“He got the impression that you didn’t want to be there and didn’t want to go back to doing profiling work.”

“I felt nervous and had to wait around to see Agent Kemp, I guess it made me think back to when I worked for Bill Patterson and we all know how that ended.”

“It’s only natural to feel like that Agent Mulder, really you should never have been put on that case as you were too close.”

“Yeah well you had to follow orders just as I do Sir.”

“Maybe I should have protested more, hell you could have died out there.”

“Don’t stress over it Sir, it’s the past and we can’t change that.”

“No, we can’t, well you did good and can now move on.”

“Was there anything else Sir?”

“I was just wondering why you look so rough, also is that the same suit as yesterday Agent Mulder?”

“Yeah, I’ve had a lot to do lately and forgot to get all my suits clean.”

“Okay if you say so, however that doesn’t explain the bruise Agent Mulder.”

“It’s nothing Sir.”

“Really, I take it you walked into another door Agent Mulder?”

“Something like that.”

“It looks more like a fist, that fist wouldn’t happen to belong to Alex Krycek would it?”

“Look it wasn’t Alex so just drop it.”

“Yes, well you need to remember what you do for a living Agent Mulder…”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean Sir?”

“I expect you to look far smarter than this, that or you will face a two week suspension.”

“Fine I get the point; it was my fault for not doing the laundry and it won’t happen again Sir.”

“Very good, also try to avoid any visual marks too.”

“Yeah okay, can I get on with my work now Sir?”

“Yes, I’ll be in my office all day if you need someone to talk to.”

“Sir…”

“What Agent Mulder?”

“Can I talk to you about anything at all Sir, as a friend and not my boss?”

“Of course you can Mulder, is there something on your mind right now?”

“Yeah Alex I guess, also Spender too.”

“How come you have a problem with Spender, I thought you hardly saw the man anymore?”

“He came around to my apartment two nights ago to see Alex; he was pissed off with him for not reporting in. He also wasn’t happy that Alex was carrying on with me in a sexual way.”

“I’m not surprised, so I take it Spender never ordered Krycek to abuse you as he does?”

“No not that way, he ordered Alex to break me anyway he could other than that. I figured he was pissed because Alex had disobeyed him, yet that wasn’t the main reason at all.”

“Do you know the real reason Mulder, did Spender tell you?”

“Shit this is going to be hard to say…”

“Just take your time and do the best you can.”

“Alex was punishing me harshly for disobeying him, we were both in the bedroom and were naked.”

“What do you mean by harshly?”

“Alex whipped me repeatedly and caused me to scream out, so at first we thought it was the neighbours at the door.”

“You let him whip you, shit how far do you actually let the man go Mulder?”

“He’s done it before and I soon get over it, my point is that we were both vulnerable when Spender called. Alex opened the door to Spender and two of his goons, I was forced to kneel on the floor with my hands cuffed behind my back. Spender then had his goon hold a gun to my head, I was forced to watch or he’d break Alex’s fingers one by one.”

“Shit Mulder, did he hurt you at all, well other than that of course?”

“No, it was Alex that he wanted to punish.”

“Well I’m just glad it wasn’t you.”

“It was the way he punished him, that and the reason that sickened me.”

“Chances are he deserved what he got Mulder.”

“No one deserved to suffer the way he did, Alex had never hurt me or made me suffer as bad as that.”

“Unfortunately, I only have your word for that Agent Mulder, you’re infatuated with the man and would let him do anything.”

“I don’t think I’d let him go as far as Spender did.”

“Come on then out with it Agent Mulder, even though I wouldn’t put anything past that man.” 

“He had his other goon force Alex down onto the bed face first, then Alex had his arms and legs stretched out and restrained to the bed. Spender’s nothing but a fuckin coward, he wouldn’t even go near Alex until he was restrained and couldn’t fight back.”

“Yeah well we all know that Spender has his goons to do his dirty work, why get your hands dirty if you don’t have to.”

“Well it was then that Spender noticed the whip on the bedroom floor, he had this grin on his face that was pure evil and I hated him so much. He picked it up and used it on Alex, not in the way Alex used it on me though.”

“I take it he whipped Alex, just as Alex had whipped you. It’s just the same Mulder and you have to accept that, it’s something that you shouldn’t let him do.”

“That’s just it Sir, I thought the exact same and it would soon be over with. Spender used all his strength in every single lash of that whip, it was like he was mad and had no intention of stopping. To be honest I think he only stopped because he ran out of energy, yet by that time the damage was done.”

“I take it he broke the skin and caused a fair bit of damage?”

“It was far more than a bit of damage Sir; he shredded the skin and it will take weeks to heal. Chances are he’ll be scarred for life now and I couldn’t do anything to help him, Spender has ruined him physically and mentally.”

“Did he leave afterwards Mulder, he never touched you did he?”

“You don’t get it Sir.”

“Don’t get what Agent Mulder?”

“Spender didn’t want me; he was pissed off because he said Alex was his and only he touched him in that way. Oh and in answer to your question Sir, no Spender didn’t leave straight away.”

“So, what happened after he whipped Alex?”

“I can’t go into detail Sir, let’s just say that Spender brutally raped Alex.”

“Oh shit, I’d never thought someone like Spender sinking that low.”

“Yeah well he claimed Alex was his and made sure he knew that.”

“So how was Alex afterwards.”

“I gave him some meds and he spent the rest of the night alone in the bedroom, he was incapable of walking or even sitting up. The next day I gave him more pills and came to work, shit and then I had to handle a case dealing with rape and shit.”

“Well that explains why you were acting the way you were, anyway what happened after you went home?”

“Alex didn’t want me anywhere near him, in the end I ordered a pizza and watched a video alone. Afterwards I had to face another night on the couch, Alex bought a new one and it isn’t as comfortable as my old one.”

“Yeah well you were rather attached to that couch Mulder.”

“Maybe that’s why I didn’t sleep too well, every little noise and I’d suddenly be wide awake again. This time it was Alex and he was in the kitchen; I could tell that he was pissed off and went to see if I could help him. Shit he was going through the cupboards looking for the vodka he’d bought, I was an idiot and suggested he ate something instead. Alex backhanded me and forced me to tell him where it was, so that’s what I did. He punched me in the stomach and winded me, so I then remained on the kitchen floor while Alex went back into the bedroom. He’d slammed the door and didn’t want me in there, so I went back to the couch until morning and then came to work.”

“So, I take it the whole laundry and lack of clothes were a lie?”

“Yeah I didn’t want to face him this morning, look I’m sorry for lying Sir.”

“So, you have no idea what you’ll be walking into tonight?”

“No not till I get home.”

“I can come back with you if you want Agent Mulder?”

“No that would make him far worse and we’d both suffer; I promise that I’ll leave straight away if he’s still drunk or kicks off again.”

“Make sure you do Mulder; I don’t want to see you end up hurt or even dead.”

“Yeah I get the point Sir.”

“Well chances are he’ll need professional help.”

“Yeah well I don’t think Alex will see it that way or get any help.”

“Well just remember I’m here for you, also you know my number and can call me day or night.”

“Thank you Sir.”

“You’re welcome Agent Mulder.”

Skinner left and I put away all the files that were on my desk, I then thought about everything that had happened, also how much I’d told Skinner with regards to Alex and Spender. Now I was beyond tired, I was functioning on hardly any sleep or food and it was catching up with me. Maybe that was how I’d fallen asleep at my desk; I’d only meant to close my eyes for a few minutes and rest them.

I’d only woke because of my phone ringing, shit I was far too tired to even answer it and just left it ringing, one look at my watch showed me it was nearly ten in the evening. Great how the hell had I managed to sleep for so many hours sat in a chair, I stood and had to stretch my back a few times to ease the muscles. Well Alex hadn’t phoned at all so he obviously didn’t care, as last night he proved he could reach the kitchen and the phone if need be. I also had to face the fact he might have left too, maybe he was sick of the games if it meant having Spender on his back.

I decided it was time I went home anyway, maybe then I’d know where I stood with Alex. The roads were quiet and I made it back in good time thankfully, as all I wanted right now was some food and a good night’s sleep. I would also need a shave and a shower before going in to work tomorrow, plus a clean suit so Skinner didn’t moan at me again.

I entered the apartment and was met with silence; I could however see a light coming from under the bedroom door and presumed Alex was still in there. Maybe my safest option would be to get some food and leave him alone for now, Alex would come out if he still wanted anything to do with me.

The kitchen was a major disappointment when it came to food, I’d have to go shopping after work tomorrow, that or I’d starve to death. I opened one of the cupboards and pulled out a box of cereal, great I’m a working man and I’m surviving on cereal alone. It was pitiful when I’d ate nothing since last night.

I presumed that was the reason I was feeling so weak right now, any criminal would run rings around me and then get away. Fuck it, at least the cereal didn’t need cooking and was really quick to eat, that way it meant I’d be able to get to bed quicker. I walked into the room and was thinking about another night on the couch, that was when I felt the fist that connected with my stomach.

“Where the hell have you been Fox?”

“At work, the same place I go most days.”

“Don’t be so fuckin clever, I bet you were letting your boss fuck you.”

“What, shit I’ve never let him touch me and you know that Alex.”

“Yeah but I bet you want him to fuck you though…”

“You know that I only want you Alex, that’s why I let you do what you do to me!”

“I thought you no longer obeyed me Fox.”

“You know I do; you were the one that stayed in the bedroom and got drunk all the time.”

“Fuck you…”

Suddenly Alex shoved me against the wall and put his arm against my throat, shit I started to feel lightheaded as he pressed hard against my windpipe.

“Alex please…”

“You disobeyed me Fox.”

Alex released my throat and I started coughing and sputtering, Alex totally ignored me and started ripping my shirt apart. Soon buttons flew all over and the shirt was ruined, and then he even managed to rip my tee shirt open too. God then suddenly his hands were reaching for my belt, he wasted no time pulling my pants and underwear down.

“Alex please don’t do this; we could go to the bedroom and it would be easier for you. You’re in pain and I won’t fight you.”

“Shut the fuck up, you know nothing about me. I told you the rules, you were supposed to strip and then wait near the door for me.”

“Oh god I’m so sorry and I was tired, I’ll go and do it now Alex and make all this right.”

“You have two minutes Fox.”

Shit I moved as fast as I could and kicked my shoes off, my clothes were already ripped and unfastened so that was easy. Soon I was naked apart from the collar, I then rushed as fast as I could and knelt near the door so he’d be pleased with me. I could tell that Alex was still in a bad mood, yet here I was doing exactly as he wanted instead of getting out.

Soon Alex came over to where I was knelt, he then grabbed hold of my hair hard and forced me to look at him. I could tell by that look alone that I’d suffer for the pain he’d received; Alex would take out his anger on me because I was here and let him get away with it.

“You really do seem to struggle with orders Fox, nothing seems to get through that thick skull of yours does it?”

“I said I was sorry; I was tired that’s all and it won’t happen again.”

“You say that every single time Fox, you always do what you want and always have. All you do is make it harder on yourself Fox, as each time the punishment has to be more severe than the previous time.”

“Please Alex, I swear this time I’ll behave. I know that Spender really hurt you and…”

Shit Alex smacked me so hard that I struggled to remain upright, also my head was pounding and I was seeing stars too.

“Stay the fuck there and don’t move unless I say so.”

Right now standing up or moving was the last thing I wanted to do, I had all on keeping the cereal down that I’d ate recently. I listened and could hear Alex moving around in the bedroom, soon he returned with a pair of cuffs in his hand. Alex pulled my arms right back and cuffed them behind me. I knew in this position I was screwed if things went wrong, it was far easier to get away when your arms are cuffed in front of you.

“Stand up Fox.”

I did as he asked, even though it was hard manoeuvring when I’m restrained like this. As soon as I stood Alex grabbed me by the collar and dragged me towards the kitchen table, he then bent me over it face first and I couldn’t move. What scared me the most was what he was doing, Alex was rooting around in a box under the sink and looking for something in particular.

“Bingo, well Fox it looks like it’s time to have some fun.”

“Alex please… What are you going to do?”

“Shut the hell up Fox, you don’t question me ever, do you understand me?”

“Yes, god I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah right, you’re not sorry and that’s why you keep ignoring all my orders, well believe me you’ll be sorry this time.”

All I could do was lay there as he trailed the knife along my spine, at times he pressed a bit too hard and I felt the sting from the blade. I guess that Alex was also a giveaway too, every place the knife went his tongue would follow. I felt like I wanted to throw up just thinking about what he was doing, however the mood he was in he’d most likely stab me on purpose.

“You’re such a turn on Fox, no matter what I do to you it just makes me want more. Tonight, we are going to have some fun while you learn how to behave, piss me off and I’ll have to start the punishment from the beginning. The second time around will be different though, I will do everything even harder until you learn your place.”

“I swear I won’t piss you off Alex…”

“Did I say you could speak Fox?”

“No…”

“No what?”

“No Master.”

“Maybe there’s hope for you after all.”

The knife was moving lower down while Alex was talking, now he’d reached my backside and was pressing the tip into my ass cheek and it hurt. I tried so hard not to react; however it was a normal reaction to jump with surprise and pain. Soon his tongue was following the trail once more, and I felt as he licked the place the knife had drawn blood. Fuck then I nearly flew off the table from the sudden immense pain, Alex had used his teeth and bit down into the soft flesh.

“Move again and I’ll be forced to start it all over Fox, is that what you want me to do?”

“No Master.”

“Good behave then and lay still.”

How the fuck could I stop my body from responding, I knew I had to though as he meant every single word he said. Suddenly he ran the knife down my left leg and back up, drawing blood once more so he could lick it all away. My body shuddered as he repeated it with my right leg, then he ran the knife between the crack of my backside while I struggled to breathe. I was afraid to move and terrified that he’d cut me there, soon though he was licking my skin once more and even moaning in pleasure.

God he wasn’t the only one getting turned on, especially when he shoved his tongue inside my ass. Great straight away my cock reacted to what he was doing, I guess I’d let my guard down in the heat of the moment. Lust and need can do that to someone; however, I soon came back to my senses when he forced the handle into the tight hole. Alex was far from gentle and pushed it deep inside me, he deliberately wanted it to press against my prostate and turn me on.

“I bet you like that don’t you Fox, saying that a slut like you will enjoy anything that I do to you.”

“Yes Master.”

God right now I was far too scared to tell him I wanted him to stop, maybe Skinner was right and to a certain degree things had gone too far now. I honestly believed it was Spender who’d made Alex this angry, also deep down a part of me believed he would eventually get over it. The biggest question was whether I’d survive through it, that or Alex would end up going too far and killing me.

One of his hands kept the knife handle buried inside me, however his other hand reached between my legs, it didn’t take Alex long to realize I was hard. I could hear him laughing as he ran his hand up and down my erection, shit I knew I was going to come and I couldn’t stop the inevitable from happening. My body tensed up and I came hard all over his hand and the table, it was only then that Alex pulled the knife out.

“God you’re so easy to turn on Fox, the pain turns you on and you can’t control yourself, can you?”

“No Master.”

“Tell me how much you want it Fox, I bet you want my cock buried deep inside you now too?”

“Yes Master, I like the pain and want you to fuck me now.”

“Well how could I possibly refuse.”

Alex grabbed hold of my hips and forced himself deep inside my ass, he fucked me so hard my cock kept hitting the hard table and making it painful to move. Not that it took much as Alex had been hard for a while, he came inside me and then collapsed on top of my back. Then I was pushed even farther against the table and started moaning from the pain, it was only then that Alex came to his senses and stood up again.

I tried moving and pulling myself up from the table, however my body ached and it was hard with Alex so close behind me. I thought the violent sex might have lessened his anger somewhat, I soon realized otherwise when he grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the table. I struggled not to lose consciousness from the blow, I had to stay with it and possibly find a way to get out of here.

“Did I say you could fuckin move?”

“No, I just thought…”

“You don’t think Fox, all you have to do is listen to what I say.”

“Yes Master.”

“Well unless you want me to fuck you with the blade next time?”

“No master.”

“Yeah I thought not.”

God, I felt so sick just from the thought alone, surely Alex wasn’t that far gone to do something like that. Well I really didn’t want to test his patience until the knife was away, not that I had a clue when that would be. Suddenly his hands were pulling me up and I was standing once more, within seconds Alex had his mouth on mine and was kissing me. It was a brutal kiss and hurt, especially as he started biting my lip and refused to even let me breathe. To be honest I think he’d done it on purpose, as now my legs were like jelly and I struggled to keep my balance.

“Come on Fox, I think it’s time I got you cleaned up, then afterwards I’ll see if there’s something to eat too.”

I was dragged into the bathroom and Alex finally removed the cuffs, now I wanted to scream as my arms were finally allowed to move again. Alex stood there just watching me, maybe he realized I might fight him now my arms were free. Not that it stayed that way for long, Alex forced me into the shower and restrained my hands to the hook that hung above me. The water stung and made me realize the amount of cuts I must have, shit then it became unbearable as he used the soap and his hands to wash my body.

I was in so much pain and wasn’t paying him any attention, that was why I’d not felt the enema tube as he forced it inside me. I bet that was why he’d used so much soap on me in the first place, however I couldn’t miss the pain as the water filled up my insides.

At least Alex stood there and held me as the pressure made me cry out, I also realized that he kept his own ass away from the hot water, I knew Alex was damaged far worse than me and it would hurt too much. I wonder if Alex had looked in a mirror and seen the mess that was there, had he seen what Spender had truly done to him. There were no two ways about it, Alex would be scarred there for the rest of his life and I bet that pleased Spender to no end.

“It won’t be too long now Fox.”

“Okay Master.”

I’d take the pain if this was the outcome, I realized this was the first time Alex had held me since Spender had hurt him. I wanted this Alex back, one that made all the pain and suffering worthwhile. Somehow it felt as if Alex were lost and functioning on auto pilot, that was why I had to wonder if things would ever be the same again.

Then suddenly it was all over and I was no longer in his arms, Alex had removed the tube and left me hung there alone in the bathroom. The water started running cold and I started to shiver, I had to keep telling myself that I could do this and would survive. Right now though I felt so lost and wondered whether the end was in sight, I had no idea what the time was and I was at work in the morning.

I never even made it home until after ten, so I tried working it all out and figured I was back at work in seven hours. At this rate I’d have to phone in sick, I figured Alex would realize I was at work and he’d let me go to bed soon. Now my teeth were even starting to chatter and I was freezing in here, at this rate I really would be ill come tomorrow morning.

Sometime later Alex finally walked into the bathroom and looked at me, shit I was far too damn cold to even scowl at the man. Not that it mattered as my teeth and body were a good sign that I was freezing to death, Alex soon released my arms and wrapped a thick warm towel around me.

“I’m sorry Fox, I got carried away making something for you to eat.”

“I’m surprised you found anything other than cereal.”

“Don’t talk Fox, just save your energy and concentrate getting warm.”

Alex dried me and then even handed me a robe to put on, he then led me into the kitchen to eat. Well I had to admit he’d done better than me, it was only soup and bread and I didn’t care as long as it was hot. At first it took some time getting my hand to cooperate, it was hard trying to eat soup when your hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

“Fox do you want me to pour it into a mug?”

“Yeah it might make it easier, thanks.”

I watched as Alex got up and grabbed a mug, he’d turned his back to me and that was when I saw exactly what Spender had done to him. I was surprised Alex hadn’t wanted revenge on the black lunged bastard, maybe he feared Spender now he knew what he was capable of.

“Fox…”

“What?”

“You were miles away.”

“Sorry.”

“Just eat the food as we have things to do.”

“Alex, I have to go to work in the morning.”

“Yeah I was thinking about that, I want you to phone in sick in the morning.”

“I’m on a case, shit Skinner will be pissed if I don’t show up for work.”

“I’ll let you think it over.”

“Think what over, it’s my job Alex and I have to go?”

“Who will be more pissed with you Fox, Skinner or me?”

” You can’t do this; I’ll do anything for you Alex except that.”

“I can do what the fuck I want Fox and you won’t stop me.”

“My work is important to me Alex…”

Alex was up and out of the chair in seconds, everything on the table went flying as he pulled me up by my hair. Right now, I was far too tired and didn’t have the energy to fight back, so Alex used that to his advantage to do as he wanted. He yanked the robe from me and I stood there shivering, then within seconds he had my hands cuffed in front of me.

“Don’t you dare tell me what’s important and what isn’t.”

“I’m sorry please…”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Alex I’m freezing.”

“Oh, don’t worry Fox as I’ll soon warm you up”

Alex dragged me into the room and pushed me over the arm of the couch, then he went into the bedroom and returned with the whip. Shit I could see his face and knew straight away that he was pissed off, I also knew there would be no way of reasoning with the man.

“You should have kept your mouth shut Fox; you always have to piss me off until I hurt you.”

“Please Alex, god it’s still sore from before.”

Alex never even bothered answering me, he just raised the whip and brought it down across my backside. God he never even game me a chance to get my breath back either, one after another his hand brought the whip down hard.

“Is this what you want Fox, does it turn you on when I hurt you?”

“No, not like this…”

“You know you want it really, well don’t worry because I’m here to punish you Fox.”

The whip came down a couple more times, however now he aimed the blows across my thighs and I screamed out. Not that it got me anywhere, Alex carried on and aimed the whip in a different place every time. I was in agony and only just managing to stand up now, however the next one came right across the middle of my back and I couldn’t stop screaming.

“Will you shut the fuck up Fox, right I’ll have to go and get the gag before the neighbours complain.”

Hell, I was wishing that one of them would call the police, at least that way I might get out of here alive. Then I watched as Alex went into the bedroom, I knew this would be the only chance I’d have to escape him and the damage he was causing. I pushed myself up from the couch and staggered over to the door, right now I didn’t care if the whole world saw me naked as long as I escaped.

I made it to the door and opened it slowly, all I had to do was get to the lift and find some help. I managed a few steps and sighed with relief, then a sharp pain blossomed in my head and everything went black.

I finally started to come around and instantly felt sick, my head was throbbing from the blow I’d received and I was struggling to even think. In the end I forced my eyes open and wanted to scream, not that I could as my mouth was gagged. I was back on my own bed now, also my arms and legs were restrained too and I could barely move.

I soon noticed that Alex was sat in the chair watching me, shit he freaked me out more when he just watched without even saying a word to me. I tried to fight against my restraints so he’d know I was pissed off; however it was then that my skin rubbed against the sheet and I remembered the cuts. Moving or any friction made my entire back and ass hurt, I knew the damage was bad just from the pain alone and I couldn’t even fuckin move now.

“Fox you need to calm down, you’ll only make things worse if you don’t behave yourself.”

Shit I hope he wasn’t expecting a fuckin answer anytime soon, actually I had no idea what the hell he was expecting from me either. I closed my eyes and wanted to block him out along with the pain, shit and then I realized neither were going away no matter what I did.

“Fox I’m going to remove the gag and you have to listen to me, just nod if you’ll behave.”

I did as Alex said and lay there waiting, soon he knelt down beside the bed and kissed my cheek before removing the gag. I really couldn’t work him out at all right now, that was why I just lay here and let him speak first and tell me what he wanted.

“I’m so sorry Fox, I’m a fuckin idiot and just saw red when you seemed more concerned with Skinner.”

“I never meant to upset you Alex, I already draw to much attention to myself at work and I’ve pissed Skinner off so much lately. I didn’t want him making me suffer again, also I don’t want him coming here and hurting you. It doesn’t matter what I want Alex, Spender will take great pleasure coming here too if I don’t show up.”

“Yeah, I get it Fox without the lecture, I already said I was sorry and don’t know what else I can do. You will have to take at least one day off now or everyone will start talking, you’re a mess and people will get suspicious Fox.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, what time is it Alex?”

“It’s just after five why?”

“I won’t be able to ring Skinner until eight that’s all.”

“I don’t want you talking to him Fox, you can ring at seven and leave a message for him.”

“Whatever, I guess it’s better than nothing.”

“Good, I’ll go and get you something for the pain and a glass of water.”

“Yeah okay and thanks for understanding.”

“No problem, it works two ways Fox.”

Part of me was wondering if the whip was done deliberately, he’d make it so I was unable to go to work and still won in the end. Now I knew there was no chance of escaping, also Skinner wouldn’t worry about me if I was the one who called. I had to wonder if I could talk Alex into doing it, that way Skinner might become suspicious after the talk we had regarding Alex.

“I’ll have to unfasten your arms Fox and then I’ll help you sit up.”

“Yeah okay.”

Soon Alex removed the restraints and helped me, now my backside felt even worse than before and I wouldn’t be able to sit up for too long. I just prayed that the pills would work fast and relieve some of the pain, well I’d swallowed them so all I could do now was wait.

“Alex can I lay back down please, it hurts far too much sitting in this position?”

“Yeah of course you can Fox, just hold on and I’ll make you more comfortable.”

I loved Alex when he was like this with me, hell he was being so kind and really must regret what he’d done to me. Soon I was laid down once more and restrained, and all that pleased me was the fact I was no longer sat up.

“You can rest for a couple of hours and then call work to leave a message, I really am sorry that I hurt you Fox.”

“It’s okay Alex, I know that I was also a bastard and kept pushing you, however I will have to return tomorrow though.”

“Yeah I know Fox, just tell Skinner then that you should only need one day.”

“Right now, I don’t even know what to tell him about my so called illness.”

“Just tell him you’ve got a stomach bug or something, say you have thrown up and want to recover before going back in.”

“Yeah okay.”

I watched as Alex went and sat back in the chair once more, he was being good despite he must still be in pain from what Spender did to him. I loved watching him when he didn’t realize I was doing it; the man was gorgeous and could go out there and pull anyone he wanted. I guess it made me feel good having him here, just knowing that I was all that he wanted and that I made him happy.

We spent the next couple of hours in relative silence and my head actually started to clear, even my wounds stung less after taking the meds and I felt better than I had since returning home. I wasn’t looking forward to making the call and prayed Skinner would believe me, as the last thing I wanted was him turning up here.

Alex had finally started to calm down now and was becoming far more relaxed, however everything would change fast if Skinner confronted him. I knew that Alex was capable of anything if cornered and angry, he wouldn’t think twice about using the palm pilot or his gun. Where that would be Skinners downfall, he would ask questions first and wind up dead.

Alex could be very headstrong when he wanted to be, however I had to question the man at times too. So many years had passed and he never raised a finger towards me, then he proved that he was capable of literally anything. I was just hoping that he’d finally calmed down enough now, I still wanted him but with maybe a little less violence.

“Fox are you awake?”

“Yeah why?”

“I’ll get you the phone and you can call Skinner.”

Alex brought me the phone over and held it too, then his other hand was stroking my hair and then down along my cheek. Oh god all I wanted to do was get this call over with so I could be with Alex, maybe I could talk him into staying here all day in bed with me.

I left the message saying that I was throwing up, also Skinner wasn’t to worry about me as I’d be back at work first thing in the morning. Alex went and replaced the phone on the handset, he then returned to the bedroom just as his own phone rang. I listened and knew straight away that it was Spender on the phone and Alex wasn’t happy about it, I could hear him telling Spender that he’d be there within the hour as he had something to do first.

Alex came over to the bed and knelt down beside my ear, he then ran his tongue around the edge before whispering something to me. My blood ran cold and I realized I was well and truly fucked now, also I told Skinner I’d be okay and not to call.

“You are such an idiot Fox and far too trusting, as now I have you exactly where I want you.”

“What do you mean Alex?”

“You tried to escape Fox, that made me realize you’d try it again as soon as you could.”

“I swear I wouldn’t do…”

“Don’t dare lie to me Fox, I beat you and you’d have told Skinner when you left that message. However, all I had to do was cry and tell you how sorry I was, that way I knew you’d tell Skinner not to come over today. You see now no one will come and help you Fox, no one will save you from the pain I’ll inflict on you.”

“Alex don’t tease me; I know that you’re sorry for hurting me.”

“Fox I’m planning on hurting you far more than that, did you honestly think it was all over after you lied to me. You would go running back to Skinner, also you put him before me and I can’t let you do that.”

“Alex please don’t do this…”

“Shut up Fox, you’re mine and I can treat you however I want. I am the one that controls you inside and out, so you will call me master and accept everything I do to you.”

“What if I won’t accept it, then what happens Alex?”

“Nothing really, well for me that is. It’s a different story for you Fox, every time you disobey me, you’ll suffer more pain.”

“Alex I’ll do as you say, you don’t have to hurt me though.”

“You should listen to yourself Fox, you’re so full of shit and no one believes a word of what you say. Everyone laughs behind your back, you’re a joke Fox and nothing more, look all you were was an assignment and it’s going to end very soon.”

I watched as Alex grabbed the gag and tried forcing it in my mouth, fuck him as I wouldn’t make it easy for him. Then he gripped my jaw with nearly enough force to break it, as soon as my mouth opened, he shoved the gag inside.

“I have to go see Spender and won’t be too long Fox, I want you here when I get back and that won’t happen if you start screaming. Knowing my luck they’d call the police and I’d be arrested, so behave yourself and when I return we can have some fun.”

Alex turned and was gone, now I was stuck here with no way of escaping. My body still ached and I finally fell asleep for a while, I liked it when I was asleep as I didn’t have to worry about the pain and what was to come later. Yeah and talking of pain, by the time I finally woke the meds had worn off, my body felt like it had been run over by a bus.

I was also aware that they could become infected if I were to lay here for any length of time, then to make matters worse I started to feel sick. At this rate I’d be dead by the time Alex decided to return, not that I knew why I wanted him back… Alex had promised that I’d suffer when he returned and I didn’t doubt him or his promise. I had to try and stop thinking so much, when really I should be using this time to think of a way to escape. All I needed was to try and distract Alex, surely he’d have to let me use the bathroom or feed me. Well I was still lost in thought when I heard the apartment door open, now though I had to pray that it was Alex and not Spender.

“Did you miss me Fox? How silly of me, I forget that you can’t answer me. Then again, I actually like it when you’re silent for a change and not moaning at me.”

Alex came over to the bed and removed the gag, shit straight away I could smell the alcohol and knew he’d been drinking. My mind started working overtime and knew this could go one of two ways, Alex could be far more violent and I’d suffer more, then on the other hand escape could be possible.

“I can always tell when you’re thinking Fox, believe me you won’t be escaping. You see Fox this will be our last night together, Spender has ordered me to drop this assignment. However, he did agree to a few more hours with you, mainly so I can have some closure and end it all.”

“It doesn’t have to end like this Alex, I want you here with me and don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“I’ve already told you that you’re nothing more than an assignment Fox, also when I’ve finished with you, you’ll want me to go.”

“You won’t listen to me will you Alex, you’re just so pig headed and always think your right.”

“Fox, I don’t have a death wish, also you have to realize that Spender owns me and that won’t ever change.”

“We could leave together and run away from them all.”

“Fox listen to what I tell you, I don’t love or want you. You see I have no reason to want to hang around.”

“Why don’t you go to hell then and leave right now…”

“Maybe because I want to have some fun first, afterwards I won’t even give you a second thought.”

“So, what, you’ll return to Spender and let him fuck you?”

“It’s sex Fox and nothing more, however it means I’ll work my way up and take over the project one day.”

“You’re nothing more than a disillusioned fuck up.”

Fuck my mouth suddenly exploded in pain as he hit me, I could even taste the blood upon my lips. Shit and that was when I realised the look on Alex’s face changed, he looked like someone who should be in a mental hospital. Within seconds he was on me, he started biting my lip and sucking at the blood.

I was so relieved when he decided to move away from me, well that was until I realized he was only moving to undress. It wasn’t long before he was back on the bed and kissing me, then suddenly he sank his teeth into my neck and I screamed out.

“Silence Fox or I’ll gag you again.”

“Shit it’s not my fault, it does fuckin hurt you know!”

“It’s meant to hurt, that’s the whole idea of punishment Fox.”

Alex was soon back at my neck and biting it again, then after so long he moved to the other side and used his teeth once more. I realized that he had no intention of stopping what he’d started, instead he worked his mouth down towards my nipples.

Oh god I couldn’t stop myself from screaming again, Alex was sinking his teeth deep into my tender flesh. Now my body was on fire and there was no escape in sight, nor was there any form of relief either. It was as if he planned to work his way right down my body, thankfully after my chest he moved towards my thighs.

Now I was howling in pain as his teeth sank into my inner thighs, over and over he kept sinking his teeth into me. I figured I must have about thirty bite marks on my body now, yet still Alex just carried on and moved somewhere else. Alex had moved back up the bed towards my hips, shit then he sank his teeth into my stomach.

Alex was never happy with doing it once, he’d make sure he’d drawn blood and then he’d lick it all away. I knew some of the bites were bad and wouldn’t stop bleeding that easily though, shit then my body thrashed around on the bed as he reached my groin. Alex grabbed hold of my balls tight and forced me to lay still, however at this point my body was in agony and I prayed he’d hurry up and go.

“Lay still Fox or the pain will get far worse.”

“Why are you doing this Alex?”

“I’ve already told you why, this is my last chance to fuck you and own you. As soon as I return to Spender, I’ll become his toy, he will own me Fox and you know how much I hate to bottom for anyone.”

Finally, he moved his hands away from my very bruised balls, however now it was my cock that he had deep in his throat. I didn’t move an inch in case he decided to bite me there, however right now he seemed more interested in making me hard. I think he realized that it wasn’t working no matter how hard he tried, what did he expect when he was torturing me. Shit then I lost all control as he shoved a couple of fingers into my tight ass, my cock instantly became hard when his finger pressed against my prostate.

Alex teased me with his mouth, he sucked hard on my cock and sucked my balls deep into his willing mouth. The man was abusing me and I was more turned on than I thought possible, then within minutes I was coming in his warm mouth. I was exhausted and too tired to move now, that’s why I hadn’t even realized that Alex had unfastened my legs.

Soon he had my legs over his shoulders and was working his own erection inside my pliant body, he was far from gentle once he started fucking me and it was like the man was possessed. It was as he came that I realized we’d never do this again or anything for that matter, Alex would be gone and chances are I’d hardly see him anymore. The man would belong to that cancerous bastard and wouldn’t even look at me twice, maybe I was going mad as I knew I’d miss him and the time we’d spent together.

Alex pulled out of me and just knelt there staring at me, then he moved up the bed and his mouth found mine. It was like he was giving me his soul in that kiss alone and I didn’t want to let go, only when we were in need of air he moved away. All I could do now was watch as the man re dressed himself, he then made sure he had everything that he’d kept here as he wouldn’t be coming back.

“Goodbye Fox.”

“Alex you can’t just leave like this.”

“Actually, I just had a thought.”

Alex came back over to the bed and forced the gag back inside my mouth, he then turned around and left me here like this. At first the tears had come and I felt so alone, however now I was struggling to breathe through my nose and my mouth was gagged. Then the true reality of my situation hit me, I was cuffed naked to a bed with no way of escape.

Shit would I end up dying here on this bed and all alone, then I realized how I’d look if by chance someone did find me. I came to the conclusion I was fucked either way, no one at work would miss me until tomorrow morning. Then I had to wonder if anyone would bother coming and checking up on me, knowing Skinner he’d leave it a few days and then send an agent out.

The prospect of another agent finding me here was terrifying, I already had a shaky reputation at the bureau. If word of this got around I’d never live it down, I’d be the target of so many humiliating jokes. Well I realized there was no point worrying about any of that right now, first I would have to get through the next few hours or more.

I lay here and drifted in and out of sleep, the pain was always there and wouldn’t let me have a moments peace. Great and then to make matters worse my bladder made its presence felt too, I had to face the fact that everything was starting to become unbearable and there was no let up in sight. Every time I moved an inch my skin was on fire, then to make it even worse I was starting to dehydrate too.

I was fucked on so many levels and was struggling to remain sane right now, I had to try and sleep as it would at least pass the time. I had no clock in here or any access to the time, I only knew evening was coming as it started to grow dark outside. Ha maybe not knowing the time was also a good thing, otherwise I knew I’d lay here watching the clock and time creep by.

At some point I’d slept, I guess my body was exhausted and had finally given in. Also, I knew I’d lost some blood and that didn’t help, however I opened my eyes and realised it was daylight now. It was also then that I realized what hade woke me up, I could hear my phone ringing and knew it would soon switch to the answering machine.

The minute the answer machine kicked in I hear Skinner speak, yet all I could do was lay here and do nothing.

“Agent Mulder it’s Skinner, you said you would only need one day off to recover from your stomach bug. Well it’s ten now and there’s still no sign of you here at work, can you tear yourself away from him for five minutes and call me.”

With that the phone went dead and I felt alone once more, I’d also noticed the comment about tearing myself away from Alex, or him as Skinner had put it. Shit right now I just wanted to tear myself away from the fuckin bed, if only he knew that Alex was gone from my life and I was here alone and trapped. Right, Skinner would be ecstatic that Alex Krycek was finally out of my life.

I was surprised that Alex hadn’t removed the collar and taken it with him, that or he could have even binned it. For all I knew it might not be the end and Alex might try and come back, despite both of us knowing it would be a dangerous game for Alex to play. Look what happened to him last time he’d gone against Spender, hell I just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t wanted to run away while he had the chance. Did the project really mean that much to Alex, also did he really want to end up like that cancerous bastard?

I knew I was doing way too much thinking and was trying to analyse everything, when in reality it was impossible when it came to Alex. The man was such a conundrum, a person that I’d never truly understand no matter how intelligent I am. I was doing so much thinking my head hurt, then I heard the phone ring once more. I listened and realized it was Skinner and he sounded annoyed with me.

“Agent Mulder it is now noon and you still haven’t graced us with your presence, if you’re not here within the hour I’m coming over despite what Krycek does.”

Well hopefully I’d finally be free and could clean myself, then I wondered if Alex had even bothered leaving the key for the cuffs. Great my biggest worry should be Skinner; the man would walk in and find me here cuffed to the bed and naked.

After a short while I heard someone knock at my door and presumed it was Skinner, shit what if he got no answer and left thinking no one was in. If that were the case I’d be well and truly fucked, however after a couple more knocks I heard him using a picklock. The relief was so immense and I couldn’t stop myself from crying, then the bedroom door opened, and Skinner walked in and looked shocked with what he saw.

“Shit Mulder what the hell happened to you?”

I was so thankful when he came over to the bed and removed the gag, however it took me a couple of minutes to get rid of the dry rubber feeling in my mouth.

“Do you know where the key is Mulder, shit I told you that the man was psychotic and would end up going too far.”

“It should be in the top draw there Sir.”

Skinner searched for the key and soon released my arms from the bed, great now I had to suffer even more pain as the circulation started to flow once more. Then I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over my naked and damaged body, I felt like a bug under a microscope as Skinner watched me.

“Where is he Mulder?”

“He’s gone.”

“Gone where?”

“His assignment is over and he’s gone back to Spender, so I guess in a way you all got what you wanted.”

“Jesus Mulder you should be pleased he’s gone, if not you should go and look in a mirror.”

“I’m okay Sir.”

“Mulder you’re far from okay, the bite marks could be infected and will need looking at.”

“I’m not going to the hospital Sir, so don’t even bother suggesting it.”

“How about Agent Scully, I can call her now and she can check you over?”

“Scully hates me, and you know she does.”

“Mulder she loves you; it was the man you chose to take to your bed that she didn’t like. Well you can’t just leave them untreated Mulder, maybe I could at least ask her for her opinion.”

“Fine if you must.”

Skinner went into the room to make the call, I then grabbed my robe and started stripping the dirty sheets from the bed. Maybe I could deny what had happened to me if I got rid of the evidence, yeah right, I knew I’d still have the many bite marks for some time to come. Eventually I found a clean set of sheets and threw them on the bed, my body ached far too much to even consider making the bed back up.

In the end I just sat back down on the bed and waited for Skinner to finish his call, Krycek leaving seemed to please everyone except me. I’d heard Skinner raise his voice a couple of times while he talked to Scully, deep down I had a feeling she wanted to come over so she could rub my nose in it. Everyone would tell me what an idiot I’d been and that it was okay now he’d gone, shit it was then that I realized Skinner was back in the room and talking to me.

“Mulder are you listening to me?”

“Sorry I was miles away, so what did Scully have to say then?”

“Well I had to convince her she didn’t have to come over, she wasn’t happy about it and was pissed you wouldn’t see her.”

“Yeah well I’m not ready for all that now, I need to sort my own life out first and deal with the state of my body.”

“Yeah, I told her that you just needed some time alone, she did tell me an antibiotic that could be used and it’s available from the pharmacy. Why don’t you go and take a nice warm shower while I go get the meds, that way there will be less chance of infection.”

“Yeah okay, thanks for doing this Sir.”

“I don’t mind Mulder, you’re one of my best agents and I want you back at work.”

“I’ll do my best Sir.”

“You will need to take a week or so off first, I want you fully healed Mulder and not open to ridicule from the other agents.”

“I thought they already did ridicule me Sir…”

“Mulder shower now, I’ll change the sheets on the bed for you, then afterwards I’ll go and get the meds.”

I thanked Skinner and went into the bathroom, first on the agenda was relieving my poor neglected bladder. Once done I went over to the mirror and took a long good look at myself, shit my whole body was covered in either teeth marks or bruises. In the end I threw a towel over the mirror to hide what I saw; I then stepped in the shower and turned the temperature up as far as my body could stand.

I must have stayed in there for some time as the water was now cold, finally I returned to the bedroom and looked for some clothes to wear. None were comfortable and rubbed against the damaged skin, in the end I got back into bed naked except for the collar. For some reason I wasn’t ready mentally to remove it, maybe because it made me feel wanted and that I wasn’t alone anymore. I just needed time, maybe after a while things would get easier and I could try then.

A short while later Skinner returned with a couple of bags, he then sat them down on the bed and pulled out a few things. To be honest I was surprised he’d bought so much, then I remembered he was once a marine and was always prepared.

“There’s some antiseptic cream Mulder, make sure you apply it a couple of times a day so you heal faster. Also, I’ve got the antibiotics, it’s a five day course and should fight any infections you may have. I also brought you some bottled water and a couple of sandwiches, I figured you wouldn’t be up to cooking for a few days.”

“Hell, I hardly ever cook, it was Alex who did…never mind it doesn’t matter.”

“You’ll need time Mulder, there may be many times that you’ll slip up and remember the time you were with him. Look use the cream and meds, also make sure you stay in bed and get plenty of rest. I’ll call you once a day to make sure you’re okay and healing.”

“Thanks Sir, I really appreciate everything and will do my best to return back to the bureau soon.”

“Just make sure you’re fully ready Mulder, mentally and physically.”

“I will do.”

Once Skinner left I felt far more alone than ever, I’d accepted my life and Alex had gone and changed it. Now I knew how it felt to have someone here all the time and not be lonely, in the end I cried myself to sleep thinking about what I’d lost.

I spent the next couple of days in bed and tried to get plenty of rest, I had no motivation at all so staying in bed turned out to be far easier than I’d expected. I was good though and did manage to eat, I also took all the meds and used plenty of cream. Now the bite marks were still there but not as prominent, maybe I was sick after all as part of me didn’t want them to totally disappear. I guess it was the only thing left that reminded me of Alex, well apart from my eidetic memory that is.

Skinner had called on both days to check on me, he also wanted to know if I needed anything or possibly just wanted some company. I assured him that I was fine, also that I wasn’t up to having any form of company right now. I did ask him now and then if he’d seen Spender at all, from what I gathered the man was too busy to annoy Skinner. Yeah, I bet he was busy all right, especially now he had Alex back where he wanted him.

Well fuck Spender, I swear here and now that I’ll end up putting a bullet in the man myself. I knew Alex was never truly mine, yet I hated the fact that Spender had control over him and also had him in his bed. If I were honest that’s what bothered me more than anything, I didn’t like the fact Alex would rather be with him of all people.

By day three I was getting sick of staying in bed, yet even in the room it was a reminder of Alex and what we’d shared. The couch for one, how he’d purposely bought it so I wouldn’t go back to my old ways and sleep there. Alex had said that we would always sleep in the bed together, yeah as if that happened. He’d even got rid of all my old videos and I had no way at all to pass the time.

My body was still far too weak to consider jogging or any other form of exercise, not that I was ready to leave my apartment just yet. In the end I booted up my computer and browsed nothing in particular, boredom was something that I’d never coped too well with. I guess that was why I ended up having a long shower and returning to the bed, at least the cream was good and it worked fast.

I knew that within a few days I’d be able to return to work, maybe I’d ask Skinner if I could remain in my office for a while and avoid the other agents. Then there was also the matter of Scully, according to Skinner she’d mentioned returning to the x files. I had mixed feelings though, after all she’d soon abandoned me when it suited her and what she wanted. Personally, I worked far better alone, also there would be too many questions and it would be awkward. I really didn’t think things would ever be the same between us, and now I had to hope that Skinner let me make the decision and not him on my behalf.

It was on day six that I finally fell apart, I believed what I was doing was normal and no one else had to know what I did behind closed doors when I were alone. It was when the bite marks started to fade away that I broke, it was a slap in the face once more and a reminder of what I’d lost.

I’d started talking to myself and acting as if Alex were here with me, then there were times when I’d kneel at the door waiting for him to come back home to me. Maybe returning to work would be a good idea, I’d called Skinner and asked him if he’d come over and see me with regards to work.

I heard the knock at the door and went to let Skinner in, well at least this time I was fully dressed and felt a bit more like my old self. Also, the bites were healing fast and the clothes no longer bothered me, I’d started to wonder if I’d ever wear clothes again after the past few months.

“Come in Sir.”

“You wanted to see me Mulder?”

“Yeah, I want to come back to work on Monday, however I figured you’d want to check I’m okay. I know I’m supposed to report to you when I return, however it’ll put my mind at rest if you can give me a decision now.”

“Well I have to admit that you’re looking a lot better Mulder, also none of the marks are visible when you’re dressed. To be honest I don’t see any reason why you can’t return, maybe you could work in your office for a few days.”

“Yeah that’s what I was thinking, I’ve got plenty of files that need sorting out and re filing.”

“Okay Monday it is then, I hope to see you there bright and early Agent Mulder.”

“Don’t worry I’ll be there.”

“Oh, there was one other matter I want to discuss with you before you return.”

“What would that be Sir?”

“Agent Scully and her possible return to the x files.”

“Have you given her an answer Sir?”

“No, I believe the decision has to be yours Agent Mulder, I presume you’ve thought about her request?”

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it, I don’t want to sound childish or refuse her because of her hatred towards Alex. It’s just the fact she abandoned me Sir, also I’ve always worked far better alone. It’s nothing personal, also I don’t think she’ll ever let what happened go and that could interfere with work.”

“Very well, I did say the final decision would be yours. I can also see that your reasons are valid and it could be a problem, I can’t send the two of you out in the field if you have any form of disagreement.”

“I appreciate it Sir, and I just want to thank you for all the help you’ve given me.”

“Well hopefully come Monday it will all be in the past; it can be a new start for you Agent Mulder.”

“I hope so Sir, I feel a lot better now, well apart from the boredom.”

“Well maybe you should spend the weekend going out, maybe to the local shop so that come Monday it will be easier. Also, you could get all your clothes ready too so you’re prepared.”

“You can tell that you were once a marine Sir.”

“It’s good to be organized Agent Mulder, it helps your mind to think clearly and everything to run according to plan.”

“Yeah well I don’t think that will happen with me Sir, however I will be at work Monday no matter what. Maybe I might do as you said and go shopping, well it’s that or I’ll starve.”

“It will do you good, two days Mulder and your life can return to how it was before Alex Krycek took over.”

I finally said goodbye to Skinner, I didn’t want to tell him that my life would never be the same again. Alex was gone and the pain remained, all I was doing was functioning. It was a pathetic existence and not living at all, also chances are nothing would ever change for the good now.

In the end I decided to face going out and doing some shopping, I’d spent far too long inside that damn apartment and had to do this. Well otherwise I’d starve and would never be able to return to my job and field work, even so I must have looked like a complete idiot to some of the customers in here. I’d walked around the store three times and was still at a loss with what to buy, in the end I grabbed some stuff just so I could get out of here and go back home.

I soon realized what I’d done when it came to unpacking it all, every single item I’d bought was what Alex liked and would have bought. Well it looked like I’d have to make do as I wasn’t going back there, to be honest I didn’t want to go shopping ever again. So, I spent the rest of the weekend sorting out my laundry and preparing for work, even so I’d be glad to have my first day behind me.

Morning came and I left home bright and early, however my stomach was in knots with worrying about the other agents and whether they’d say anything to me. Once there I went straight to the basement and stayed there most of the day, I did however go to the canteen to grab myself a strong coffee. I’d mainly done it to see what reception I’d receive, and to my surprise the agents treat me the same way they’d always done. Some said hello, while others still referred to me as spooky and that was just normal daily banter.

They day finally came to an end and it was time to return home, back to that cold empty apartment. I walked in and hung my coat up and removed my jacket, once done I went into the bedroom to shower and change. Well the shower was the only thing that went as planned, as I returned to my bedroom and sat down on the bed just thinking about my life.

I realized that I really didn’t want to be here alone, I’d got so used to having Alex in my life and I wanted him back with me. Maybe I should go out and hit the town, I could always get drunk and find someone to replace Alex so I wasn’t so alone. I could even go back to the club where he held me in the beginning, as there always seemed to be plenty of men that were willing.

Finally, I pulled myself up from the bed and went to the closet, shit this was something I’d never done before and I had no idea what to wear. Then my mind started working overtime, I was thinking back to how Alex had tested my loyalty and behaviour. God maybe that’s all this was too, Alex was testing me to see if I’d behave when he was gone. I bet one day he’d show up to see if I really had been listening to him, well my mind was now made up and I knew what to do.

I was still naked when I left the bedroom and returned to my apartment door, I then knelt there for the next two hours praying Alex would return. He never did come that night or even the next night, so this was now my routine. Every night after work I knelt there waiting for Alex, sooner or later I knew he would return to me.

End of Part One Mulder

Next Book Two Krycek


	3. Chapter 3

Black is the Soul

Book Two Part One

Alex Krycek

I was sick of living a life like this, so much shit day after day, week after week. This though was the worst I’d been for a long time; ha and it was all because I slipped some information to Mulder. The very same man who was the star of all my dreams and nightmares. I guess this time I’d gone too far and pissed of a few people, Spender was the one that was at the top of the list.

I’d slipped Mulder the information after stealing it from Spender, it was a stupid move as the man always did hate me and want rid of me from the start. Well I guess everything was okay until he assigned me to Mulder, it was then he realized that I liked the agent in more ways than one. After that it was like Spender hated me and was jealous, that was why I ended up back doing all his dirty work.

At one point Spender had warned me I’d suffer unless I stayed away from the agent, the problem was that I liked Mulder. What was not to like, the man had one hell of a brain and was good looking too. Okay I have to be honest, yeah I’d used him many times in my own fantasies or to get off. Me on the other hand, the man hated me and used me as his personal punching bag.

No that it had ever stopped me finding him out or using excuses to visit him, also no matter how hard he hit me, hitting him back wasn’t an option. So normally I’d take the pain from Mulder and then followed by Spender, I swear I had one hell of a death wish at times too.

This time I’d had no warning though and it all happened so fast, I only knew Spender was involved because of the permanent smell of smoke. Hey if I were lucky he’d curl up and die of lung failure, well that was wishful thinking and I’d swear the man would live forever.

You see that day I’d returned to my own apartment and walked straight into a trap, normally I’d have left little markers in place to warn myself of possible trouble. I was an idiot and in such a rush to see Mulder that I didn’t bother, I guess I thought I could risk it just one time.

I entered and within seconds someone jumped me from behind and injected me with something, it was literally only seconds and I was out cold. That wasn’t the scariest part though, that was still to come when I regained consciousness.

At first, I felt sick and my head ached, I had no idea what the bastards had even drugged me with or if it was safe to use on humans. I knew first hand what Spender was capable of, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s used drugs that are for animals only. The man was one sick bastard and liked the power he held, now though I had to wonder if he’d abandoned me for good.

I could hear and sense other people around me, also the smell was disgusting along with the oppressing heat. I feared what I’d find if I opened my eyes, however I also feared winding up dead if I kept them closed. So, in the end I had no choice, yet I wanted to scream when I did finally open them.

It was a fuckin prison cell, maybe about twelve foot by twelve and big enough to hold ten men standing. However I counted eight men including myself, there were no beds or any real facilities at all. I could hear the other men talking amongst themselves and watching me, it was then that I realized none spoke English.

God, I had to calm down and pull myself together or I’d go mad. There were a couple of buckets in the corner behind a low wall, well at least I now knew where the smell was coming from. Yeah right, even the men looked filthy and stank too. I had to get to my feet and see if there was a guard, eventually I reached the bars and started yelling as loud as I could.

The men all stood back as if they were afraid of what might happen, shit I had to remember to stay calm. Finally, a guard came over and I asked him where I were, however he talked to me in a totally different language and then walked away. Now I was starting to get really pissed off and anger was taking over, I started yelling even louder now and I wouldn’t stop until I received answers.

Finally, another man came over and stood a few feet from the bars, hell not that I could blame him considering the smell in this hell hole. At first he just pissed me off even more, the man stood with his hand behind his back and was grinning at me.

“I’m glad you think this is funny, look I want to know where the hell I am?”

“For one, you are nothing more than a prisoner and should remember your place here.”

“I just want to know where I am, that’s all?”

“Fine I will tell you what you want to know, then after that you won’t demand anything from myself or my men.”

“Fine, I’m also presuming not many people here speak English?”

“You would be correct, actually I’m the only person here that speaks any English at all.”

“Great, I can see this might be a problem if I’m trapped in here.”

“Yes, for you it might be, as a good looking American like you will find it hard refusing their advances.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m sure you’re bright enough to figure it out, believe me it’s the survival of the fittest in here.”

“They can stay the fuck away from me, what am I here for anyway?”

“You are in a Tunisian prison; you are also in here indefinitely too.”

“How did I end up here, what have I done to warrant that?”

“Let’s just say I’m doing a friend a favour; however, you know him as your boss.”

“Shit, you mean Spender’s the one who had me put in this hell hole?”

“Yes, apparently you stole classified information and are a traitor to your country. Spender said your to stay until he says otherwise, also he wants you to suffer while here.”

“Suffer how?”

“Oh, we wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise, would we?”

“I have to get out of here, you can tell him I’m sorry and won’t do it again.”

“I can try, however Spender seemed very determined with regards to you.”

“Please just do your best.”

“Everything in here requires payment, you need to offer me some sort of incentive to help you.”

“What? I’m trapped in a cell and don’t have anything to offer you.”

“I don’t believe that at all, as you do seem to have a really pretty mouth.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“I’m very serious Alex, do you want me to contact Spender or not?”

“Shit yeah of course I do… I just can’t believe you’re going to make me do that. Shit I can’t do it here with all the other prisoners, they’re already watching every move I make.”

“I’m not surprised, take a look around you and you’ll understand why.”

“Oh god I’m fucked if I stay in here…”

“Yes, you can say that again, I’ll go and see if there’s somewhere else and a way I can help you.”

“When will you come back?”

“I won’t be long as I want payment up front.”

“Yeah somehow I thought you would.”

The guard disappeared and I was left here with the other prisoners, who were all looking at me and watching every move I made. I turned so that my back was facing against the bars, I wasn’t making the mistake of turning my back on anyone ever again. It was as if time was going so slow in here and I’d go mad, I’ve always had to keep myself busy and boredom doesn’t suit me at all.

I wasn’t relishing the idea of whoring myself while here, I’d just have to convince myself that it was better than staying here indefinitely. I’d woke less than an hour ago and was already starting to lose it, shit just the thought of this cell made my blood boil and my skin crawl.

It felt like ages waiting for the guard to come back, not that he spoke a single word to me as he opened the cell. I was grabbed by the arm and shoved into a corridor, the guard then cuffed me and re locked the prison cell. Some of the other men were shouting rather loudly and sounded pissed off, the guard yelled something to them and they fell silent. In some ways I was thankful I didn’t speak their language; I’d got the impression they were pissed off with me for some reason or other. We walked down a couple more corridors without passing anyone else, finally the guard opened one of the doors and shoved me inside, the bastard was far from gentle considering what he wanted from me.

I looked around the room and noticed a narrow metal bed with a couple of blankets on it, the rest of the room was rather bare. At first, I wondered why they didn’t use the rooms for prisoners, surely they wouldn’t be as much of a problem if kept separate. I always were inquisitive and asked too many questions, that was why I opened my mouth now.

“Whose room is this, why don’t you let the prisoners use them instead of the cells?”

“You would do well to keep that pretty mouth of yours shut, well unless it’s wrapped around my cock. Too many questions will get you punished and you wouldn’t like that, the other prisoners were already angry that I’d removed you.”

“Why, what’s it to them?”

“Well you were to become their night time entertainment, so you see it was me or all of them.”

“I’d kill every one of them if they touch me.”

“I don’t doubt it, Spender has warned me of what you’re capable of. This room is one of many that the guards use, sometimes we are on long shifts and there’s no point going home. You see no one will bother us here Alex so your safe for now, right less talking and get on your knees.”

I went down on my knees as he’d asked, he then removed the cuff from one of my arms and attached it to the bed. He stood back up once he was happy I was secure, hell the door was even locked and there was nowhere for me to go. That thought scared the hell out of me, I was still a prisoner of this country even if I were to escape.

Not that any of that mattered right now, soon the guard unfastened his pants and grabbed the back of my neck tight. Then he was forcing his large erection into my mouth, while I was struggling to do what was expected of me without throwing up. I guess I’d have to accept that things could be far worse than this, so I accepted my fate and worked up a rhythm hoping he would come.

“You have such a talented mouth and I could get used to this, well amongst other things that is.”

The guard could go to hell, as far as I were concerned this was just a one off. The man kept a tight hold on my neck, and he was using enough force to bruise my mouth. I’d never felt so relieved when he finally came, he then made sure I swallowed every drop before pulling my head away.

“You have done well and earned my help, for now you can stay here while I go and call Spender. I will un cuff you from the bed, however you will still remain cuffed whilst inside this room.”

“Yeah okay that’d do able.”

“Everything here is do able Alex or you suffer the consequences, I’m sure you don’t want that do you?”

“No, what if I need to take a piss while you’re gone?”

“That door there leads to a small room, in there you will find a toilet and a small sink.”

“Great, maybe I can wash my mouth out now?”

“Don’t be too clever Alex, also there is no way out of the other room either. Look I’ll call Spender and see what he has to say, oh and try and think about your position and manners while I’m gone.”

“Yeah whatever.”

I was left in this room alone and liked it, I knew what he’d meant with regards to the other prisoners and what they wanted. Sometimes I wish I’d been born ugly so people would leave me alone, however the consortium had taught me how to get by and survive in this world. Ha despite the fact that it pissed Spender off most of the time, I’m sure he’d be happy if I were to go under. Well I was a survivalist and would survive one way or another, also I would take out anyone that got in my way including Spender.

I despised the man, I also despised some of the things he’d made me do in the past too. Not that this was the right time to get all emotional, shit I knew Mulder wouldn’t spit on me even if I were on fire. See there I go again, thinking about the man that caused so many dilemmas in my life. In the end I went to check out the small bathroom, I took care of my bladder and then went over to the sink, all I wanted was to rinse the taste of the guard from my mouth.

There was a mirror above the sink, it turned out that it was plastic and screwed to the wall. So it was pretty useless as a weapon should I need one, yet it was the sight I saw that scared me the most. I had no memory of coming here or who’d brought me, yet the man in the mirror was filthy and looked way older than my years. How the hell could I have changed so much in just a few hours, great then I wondered how I’d look after a few days or even months.

God I couldn’t think like that, chances are Spender had sent me here as a warning and to teach me a lesson. The cancerous bastard was letting me know who the boss was around here, and who was the one that pulled the strings too. I felt so more relieved when the door opened and the guard walked in, maybe now I’d be able to get the hell out of this shit hole and fast.

“So, did you speak with Spender, did he say when I can get out of here?”

“First you will sit on the bed so I can restrain you, I want you to sit in one place instead of pacing around.”

“Yeah whatever, can we just get on with it then?”

I sat down on the bed and he uncuffed one arm, within seconds my right arm was cuffed to the metal headboard. Maybe now the guard would feel safe and tell me what the hell was going on, why cuff me when I should be allowed to leave here now.

“Right I’ve done as you’ve asked, now can you tell me what Spender had to say about me going home?”

“Well you won’t like it I’m afraid, that’s why I wanted you cuffed before I told you.”

“What the hell do you mean by that, why won’t I like it?”

“Spender said you’re not to be released any time soon, apparently he’s found a replacement for you.”

“What? I’ll fuckin kill him when I do get out of here.”

“Well that’s between you and him, however right now you’re my prisoner and are to do as I say.”

“So, what happens now, shit you know what they’ll do to me if I go back in that cell.”

“Oh, I know exactly what they’ll do, however Spender has given you to me to do with as I see fit.”

“Fuck that, I don’t belong to you or anyone else in this hell hole.”

“I’m sure you’ll eventually see things my way, that or you will suffer unimaginable pain.”

“You fuckin bastard, I’ll break your fuckin neck the first chance I get…”

“Well I’ll have to make sure you never get the chance then.”

I couldn’t take this and had to get the hell out of here, I stood up and started yanking hard on the cuffs praying somehow they’d come loose. The guard just stood there grinning at me and I wanted to hit him so hard, make him suffer and be on the receiving end for a change. I finally lunged at him and was stopped as my arm went as far as it could, then in one swift movement the bastard punched me full on in the stomach.

“You will learn that I’m the one in charge around here, you do as I say or I’ll take you back to your cell. It’s up to you Alex, you can give me an answer when I return in one hour.”

“Go to hell…”

“One hour.”

The guard turned and walked out, I heard him lock the door and knew I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Now on top of everything else I felt sick, the guard had used plenty of force when he’d punched me. I was well and truly fucked no matter what I decided and the clock was ticking, I did know that Spender would pay for crossing me like this. Fuck I really didn’t know what to do or how to get out of here, the country was hot and that wasn’t helping me to think. Okay in reality it was a fuckin shit hole and it was like Russia all over again, well apart from the weather that is.

I lay down on the bed and used my free hand to hold my stomach, not that it mattered as I’d suffer far worse soon enough. I knew the guard would be back real soon, I also knew that the guard would want my final answer with regards to doing as he said. Shit great choice I had, it was the guard or all the other prisoners. Maybe I could hope he was happy with the odd blow job and nothing more, if that were the case I’d be able to survive.

I closed my eyes and started to drift into a restless sleep, I dreamt about my life and back when I was Mulders partner and everything was good. I was sat beside the agent and we were even laughing together, we’d even gone back to his apartment after I killed Augustus Cole.

Mulder wanted me as more than a work partner and tried to kiss me, then his lips were locked with mine and his tongue was deep in my mouth. The man was so hot and I wanted even more from him, shit then I realized it was all a dream and Mulder were gone. Not that it took me long to realize what had woke me, the guard had returned and slapped me hard across the face.

“What the hell was that for?”

“When I’m in the room I want you awake and here with me, not dreaming and moaning out loud as you sleep.”

“I don’t choose what I dream about, also you could have just nudged me or something.”

“I could of if that was what I wanted, however only I get to make the rules in here.”

“Yeah I’d noticed…”

“So, have you made your decision Alex?”

“Like I ever had a choice, you know I’d choose you if I want to live. If I chose to go back, you’d make sure everyone of them hurt and abused me.”

“Well it’s good to see you have more than just looks Alex, yes I would give them the order to hurt you in unimaginable ways or I’d kill them.”

“Yeah you don’t give a shit as long as you get what you want…”

“Yeah well that’s the joy of having power Alex.”

“So, what the hell do you want from me?”

“That would be telling, it’s more fun to keep you in suspense.”

“Fuckin great.”

Shit the bastard had hold of a stick and hit me across my thigh, it was a natural reaction to cover the pain in my thigh with my hand. Then within seconds he brought the stick down once more, this time it was right across all my fingers.

“Shit I’ve done nothing wrong…”

“Lose the attitude and the foul mouth Alex, the first thing you can do is strip out of those filthy clothes.”

“What…”

“You really don’t want to piss me off Alex, I will remove the cuff from the bed and you can strip. Try anything and I’ll put a bullet in that pretty head of yours, then again I could aim lower and leave you to die in sheer agony.”

The guard removed the cuff and left it dangling, he then stepped back and pointed his gun at me. I knew I had no choice and had to do as he wanted, it was what he wanted afterwards that worried me the most. Soon I was stood there naked and shook despite the heat, he then walked back up to me and cuffed my hands together.

“We’ll be temporarily leaving this room, so you will walk and go where I say without opening your mouth.”

“What without any clothes?”

“No one here will think anything of it Alex, also where we’re going it won’t matter.”

“Why, where are we going?”

“You’ll see soon enough; the other guard won’t stop us as they all have their own little perks too. So, you might want to remember that, if you try and talk to them I’ll shoot you myself.”

“Yeah I get it.”

“Good, well at least we understand each other. Right just stay in front of me and go where I say.”

We walked out of the small room into a corridor, I was then ordered to walk straight ahead until he said different. I must have passed half a dozen doors along the way, not that it helped me understand where we were going. Every room had the door shut and kept their secrets within, I doubted the rooms would be soundproofed in an old building like this. Not that I heard a single sound from any of the rooms, then suddenly the guard tapped me on the shoulder.

“Turn right here Alex and then go down the stairs, just a few more minutes and we’ll be where I want you.”

I did as he said and noticed it was far cooler down here, the heat had caused me to sweat and now it was turning cold on my body. My teeth even started chattering as I followed his directions, soon I’d gone down the stairs and now faced a large wooden door that was locked.

“Stand there were I can see you; I’ll unlock the door and then I want you to go inside and stand there until I give you further orders.”

“Yeah okay.”

I stood to one side as he’d asked, I wanted to wrap my arms around myself and get warm again, not that it was possible with the cuffs I wore. Soon the guard unlocked and opened the wooden door, he then stepped back and waited for me to go inside. It was dark in here and I could hardly see anything in front of me, I heard the guard re lock the door and pocket the keys.

“Is there a light down here at all?”

“Patience Alex.”

“Easy for you to say, hell I’m fuckin freezing now.”

Suddenly he slammed me against the nearest wall and grabbed my jaw, he was holding it tight enough to break if I moved too fast. I stood there and tried to make myself calm and remain still, then suddenly he turned my head and forced me to look at him.

“No swearing Alex, do I make myself clear?”

“Yeah…”

I could only manage the one word as the pain intensified, then his hand was gone and his lips were upon mine. My jaw hurt and now he was forcing his tongue inside my mouth, all I could do was let him control my mouth and take from me whatever he pleased. He finally let go of me and I was gasping for air, my jaw still hurt and to top it off he punched me in the stomach.

I couldn’t take much more of this and collapsed to the cold stone floor, that was when the bastard kicked me in the ribs All I could do was curl up into a ball to protect myself from him, however he walked away from me and soon the room was full of light

“Get up Alex.”

“Please, I can’t move…”

“I won’t ask you again, get up right now.”

“Please…”

Suddenly I was kicked in the side once more, I’d swear he’d damaged my kidney as the pain flared through my body. Then he was prying me hands away from my head, he grabbed hold of the cuffs and threaded something through them before letting go. My head hurt and my vision was blurred, I had all on trying to clear my head and see what he’d done.

It didn’t take me long to realize it was a hook that was attached to a chain, I looked up and soon noticed that the chain went right up to the ceiling. God and then it sank in what it was, the guard used a pully that forced my arms up above my head. Soon I had no choice but to kneel up and then finally stand, not that the bastard stopped until my feet were a few inches from the floor.

“What the hell do you want from me?”

“What I want can wait until later, first you have to be taught a valuable lesson Alex.”

“I did as you wanted…”

“Yes you did, however Spender has warned me about you and told me what I must do.”

“The man talks a load of shit and will say anything just so you’ll punish me.”

“Really, you are here because you betrayed him and sold secrets that were nothing to do with you. Spender’s your master and you betrayed him, you only do what’s best for you and you betray everyone else.”

“Spender’s nothing but a sad old pathetic fool, he never got over the fact I wouldn’t give myself to him sexually.”

“Well I’m not prepared to take any chances with you, as you would bite the hand that feeds you. He told me how you’ll make everyone believe your lies and how well behaved you are, then you’ll strike back at the first chance you get.”

“You’re as sad and disillusioned as he is.”

“Well it’s lucky for me that your opinion doesn’t count, I plan to break you Alex and make sure you can’t fight back.”

“Then what, what is it you really want from me?”

“What is it you think I want Alex?”

“Sex, you made that obvious when you forced me to give you that blow job.”

“Well maybe I just see that as a small bonus, you see other things turn me on far more than just fucking you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I get off by inflicting pain on someone, I like to see how much they can take before they finally break and plead and beg for me to stop. I will be the only person that can end your suffering Alex; however, I’ll have to warn you that I find stopping so hard to do. You see I get lost in the moment and the thought of so much power, how I can reduce you to nothing other than a piece of meat.”

“Jesus, you’re fuckin sick and perverted.”

“You are nothing but scum Alex, and therefore I don’t care what you think of me. I just see it more as a blood sport, as believe you me I wouldn’t want to fuck someone like you. There are far more ways to abuse and humiliate you than just that, you are a filthy diseased piece of dirt and don’t deserve anything other than pain.”

I realized talking to him was totally pointless, the man is a lunatic and should be the one in here locked up instead of me. My arms were already in pain from taking all my body weight and were really pulling, and then I realized what was coming next and what he planned to do to me.

I’d watched him as he looked in a cupboard and pulled out a whip, it was one of those really long thin ones that could cut through the skin if used to hard. Ha not that this fucker would care about that or what damage he caused, he wanted me to feel it and suffer at his hands.

“I bet Spender will be pissed if you cause too much damage.”

“Spender was the one who told me to punish you Alex, to do it until you could barely even walk. He told me that I had to punish you on his behalf too, so I will have to do it twice as hard and twice as long.”

“You insane fuckin bastard.”

Shit I suddenly screamed out as the whip struck my back, however fighting it just caused my body to spin around even more. That was why the next strike was right across my chest, it had even caught one of my tender nipples and I screamed even louder.

“Don’t worry Alex as no one will hear you up there, also the sound you make is like music to my ears and turns me on so much.”

“Get the fuck away from me.”

“I’ve warned you about that mouth Alex, now I’ll have to hit you even harder until you finally learn.”

The next strike went right across my outer thigh, and it was a natural reaction to try and kick out at my abuser. Not that it did me any favours at all, I’d spun around once more on the chain that held me there, this time the whip caught my balls and I shrieked in sheer agony. My head started to swim and I was seeing little black dots, I knew at this rate I’d end up passing out from the pain alone.

Once again, the whip struck my back with enough force to split the skin, then the next thing I knew someone was smacking my face hard and yelling at me. My head hurt and all I wanted was the noise to stop, I finally forced my eyes open and instantly wished I hadn’t. The guard was right up in my face and I could even feel his warm breath, then he took a step back and slapped me even harder than before.

“Shit I’m awake…”

“You won’t pass out on me Alex; I prefer my hostage to see and feel what I inflict upon them.”

“Yeah well I can assure you that I’ve felt everything, well fuck you as I no longer care what the hell you do to me.”

Shit I’d no sooner spoke as his fist connected with my stomach, all I wanted were my hands so I could protect my vulnerable body from him. Then suddenly he moved away from me and I watched his every move, he’d gone to the pully and started lowering the chain and my feet could touch the floor.

My arms were in agony as the circulation returned, now he’d lowered the chain enough so that I was sat on the cold dirty floor once more. He then came over to me and removed the hook from the cuffs, yet I noticed the cuffs remained and I couldn’t even rub my arms as the cramp set in.

“I guess that will have to be enough for now, you see I’ve no idea how long you will be my guest. I wouldn’t want to break you or damage you straight away, I want to take my time and spread it out over days, possibly even months.”

“I’d rather be dead than suffer this for months…”

“Well I’m afraid that you don’t have the choice, only I make the rules around here Alex and I prefer you alive for now.”

“Go to hell…”

Shit he backhanded me hard enough to knock me over, I no longer cared and wasn’t even going to wasn’t my energy or get up This seemed to piss him off even more and my kidneys suffered yet again, the bastard had a thing for kicking me when I was down.

“You disappoint me Alex, you seem to have lost the fight already and that bores me.”

“Go find another toy then.”

“Hmmm if I do that, you’ll become the other prisoner’s toy, is that what you want Alex?”

“Shit you know it isn’t, but sometimes I wonder if that would be the less painful option…”

“Well we can try again later and see how that goes, however right now I can smell your fear and it’s really turning me on.”

The guard started fidgeting and was doing something, it was only then that I forced myself to look up and see what he was doing. Oh god no, shit he was unfastening his pants and releasing his rather large erection. I started panicking and tried to move away from him, I was in far too much pain to let him touch me in that way.

“Please I can’t…, oh god please don’t touch me…”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Alex, I can come from your fear of me alone.”

Shit and I’d never felt so thankful when I realized what he was doing, he started using his own hand and jerking himself off. Within minutes he came all over my naked body, I was just so relieved that he’d done it over me and not inside me.

“You’re such a turn on Alex and your fear is tantalizing, my whole body throbs with need when I cause you pain. However, all good things must come to an end for now, we need to get you cleaned up and fed.”

Shit I soon realized what his idea of cleaning me up was, he grabbed a pipe that was laying on the floor and turned a valve that was on the wall. Suddenly my whole head and body were covered with freezing cold water, my teeth started chattering and I was so fucking cold. Worse was the water pressure, it felt like it was tearing my abused skin wide open.

“There, I’m sure you feel so much better now you’re clean again.”

“I’m so cold…”

“Come, we will go back upstairs to where the sun still shines.”

Great it was still the same day, to me it had felt like I was down there for hours as he’d abused me. We climbed the stairs and the temperature felt different up here, it was warmer and hopefully soon my teeth would stop chattering. Then I was led back to the small room that held a bed, the guard never even spoke as he pushed me down on it and threw me a blanket.

I waited until he left before I dare move at all, then all I did was curl into a tight ball with the blanket. My teeth were still chattering and I could no longer get warm, even the sun that shone on the window had done nothing for me. All I wanted was to fall asleep and forget everything for a while, no way was my body prepared for round two of abuse and suffering.

I tried to think of things that would take my mind off my own predicament, however my thoughts lead back to that black lunged bastard and what I’d like to do to him. Spender would pay with his life if I ever get out of here, I wouldn’t do it straight away as that would be far too easy for the likes of him. I’d lead him along for a while, be the good little lackey until he trusted me once more. Well not that he’d ever fully trust me, but that wouldn’t matter when I pulled the rug from under his feet.

Then my thoughts drifted to a certain G man and what I’d like to do with him, ha Mulder would rather kill me than listen to me. I liked him a lot and that was the problem, Mulder always saw me as his glorified punch bag. I can give and take pain to a certain degree, yet with Mulder all I ever did was take it. Shit maybe he was like the guard here, maybe that was what turned Mulder on and he got a kick out of it.

It didn’t matter either way, Mulder would never want the likes of me and I’d never strike back. I often wondered if he ever questioned that fact, I’m a trained assassin and never have I once hit him.

Maybe I should face the fact I was fucked; chances are I’d never get out of this hell hole alive anyway. I’d finally fallen into a restless sleep, I dreamt about how everyone was chasing me and wanted to kill me. There in front of me stood Mulder with his arms out, all I had to do was reach him and he’d save me from them all. I kept on running, not that it helped as Mulder became farther and farther away.

I finally collapsed to the ground and resigned myself to my fate, however then Mulder suddenly appeared right next to me. I looked up into his face and saw nothing but hate aimed at me, then he started laughing as he punched me over and over again. Each blow became harder and the pain was becoming unbearable, then suddenly my eyes snapped open and looked around.

The room was dark now and I was still alone, it was then that I realized it was my own screaming that had woken me. I tried to sit up so I could use the bathroom, the final result was me collapsing to the floor in an agony that was unbearable. I was forced to crawl into the small room or wet myself, and once there I had to pull myself up using the small sink.

I relieved my bladder and the pain became worse, I looked down into the toilet and saw the blood that was there against the white porcelain. I knew straight away that it was my kidneys, the bastard must have damaged them after kicking me so hard. My biggest concern was healing myself, how the hell could I recover in a dirty place like this without water and antibiotics.

I was still in the same place when the guard finally returned, I heard him in the room putting something down and presumed it was food, any other time I’d have being grateful for it, however the thought of food now made my stomach start retching. I guess the guard had heard and soon came into the cramped room, he then knelt down beside me and pressed his hand against my forehead.

“Your burning up Alex, let me get you back in the bed so you can lay down.”

“Please I need medicine, also I need some clean water or my kidneys will fail.”

“Medicine doesn’t come cheap around here Alex, or clean water for that matter.”

“Please, there must be something you can do?”

“First I will help you get into bed, then I will call Spender and see what he wants me to do with you.”

“Great, so I’m basically as good as dead then…”

“I will do my best, that’s all I can do right now.”

The guard helped me back into the bed and I curled up once more, my teeth were still chattering and the blanket wasn’t helping at all. I knew that it must be bad if I couldn’t even regulate my own body temperature, also I’d need the medication soon as the pain was becoming worse. I closed my eyes and grit my teeth as wave after wave tore through my body, I was in that much pain that it was impossible to sleep.

I had no idea how long I remained like this; at some point I must have passed out from the pain I was in. I opened my eyes and saw a stranger beside the bed, I started to panic and tried desperately to get out of the bed and away from him. Suddenly someone else grabbed hold of me and forced me to lay still, as soon as he spoke, I knew it was the guard.

“Alex lay still and stop trying to push me away.”

“Who is he, what does he want with me?”

“He’s a doctor, however he speaks no English and I have to translate anything you say to him.”

“I thought you said medication was too expensive here, never mind calling a doctor too?”

“Spender said he’ll pay whatever it costs to keep you well.”

“Why, what does he want?”

“I’ve no idea, I presume he must want you back at some point in the future.”

“Great so I’m still stuck here then?”

“The doctor will set up a drip to administer antibiotics, it will also keep you hydrated too. You need to sleep Alex and get better; we can’t have you dying and Spender blaming me, can we?”

“Gee thanks, get me well just to keep Spender happy. That or you want me well so you can carry on where you left off.”

“I expect certain things in return for your own protection, however I’ll have to be far more careful next time.”

“I’m sure that will be rather boring for you?”

“Alex get some rest, maybe I’ll ask the doctor for something to help you sleep too.”

“Yeah that would be good.”

I was tired and wanted to sleep, also I preferred spending more hours asleep than with him. The doctor set everything up and left, the guard assured me that the doctor would return each day to check on me. I thought he’d go too, however the guard sat on the edge of the bed and stroked my hair as my eyes started to close.

“What’s your name, I just realized I don’t even know what it is…”

“Alex while here you’re not meant to know my name, as a prisoner you have no rights at all. Look I’ll tell you it if you agree to go to sleep and stop fighting this, however you’re not to call me it when others are around.”

“Okay I promise to go to sleep, also I’ll never use your name in here if that’s what you want…”

“My name is Samuel and most people just call me Sam, right now I want you to go to sleep and get better.”

“Okay, why are you doing this?”

“Doing what exactly?”

“Staying here until I fall asleep, also talking to me like I actually matter to you?”

“Look I went too far and for that I’m sorry, I do like you Alex and deep down I know you’ll be gone soon enough.”

“Okay, I just wondered that was all. Shit my eyes don’t want to stay open anymore.”

“The doctor gave you a sedative, so just give in and don’t fight it.”

My mouth also was becoming tired and even talking was hard, maybe it was time I gave in and went to sleep. I hoped that when I woke I felt far better than this, and I also prayed that I would soon be going back to America. Spender proved he still wants me alive and must need me for something, now I had to hope that it was sooner rather than later.

I remembered very little after that, I felt out of it and vaguely remembered hearing voices from time to time and that was all. I’d felt no pain at the time and had just drifted back to sleep, however this time something felt different and I had no idea what it was. I felt more alert too, that was when I realized I wasn’t in the room alone.

I took a few deep breaths as I also realized something else too, hell I wasn’t even in the bed alone either. I had to force myself to fully wake up and open my eyes, as soon as I did everything came flooding back to me. I was still in this hell hole of a fuckin prison and it was the guard asleep near me, the first thing that crossed my mind was the possibility of taking his keys and escaping. I tried to sit up and soon realized I couldn’t even manage to do that, my body felt as weak as a new born kitten.

“Alex where are you trying to go?”

“I was trying to sit up, shit why are you here and how long have I slept?”

“One question at a time Alex, I can speak English but it’s not my native tongue so slow down.”

“Fine, how long was I asleep for?”

“Five days on and off, the doctor decided to keep you sedated so you’d heal faster. You were fitted with a catheter and the drip supplied everything else.”

“So why the fuck can’t I move?”

“Your body is weak from the time spent in the bed, also you will need the doctor to check you over too.”

“Good because I want the wires removing from my body, then I need to get out of this bed and move around.”

“I will call the doctor soon, how do you feel with regards to the pain. You’re no longer burning up and seem a lot more alert?”

“I feel fine, I have no pain or anything anymore. I just want to get out of this bed, oh yeah you still haven’t explained what you’re doing in the bed with me.”

“You suffered many nightmares while you were sedated, at first you started pulling out all the tubes and wires. I then figured I could cuff your hands to the bed; however, you can see the marks on your wrists.”

I looked down at my wrists and saw the fresh skin that was trying to heal, great now I looked like someone who’d tried cutting their own wrists.

“You could have padded them with something…”

“I did as soon as I realized the damage they were causing; however nothing stopped the nightmares or your screaming.”

“Well I guess that explains the sore throat.”

“Do you even remember the nightmares or what they were about?”

“No, maybe it was different because I was sedated. Normally I remember some of them and wake up screaming.”

“You were calling out and rambling about a fox?”

“Not a fox, Fox Mulder is a person and our paths have crossed from time to time. Normally he ends up beating me and I let him, It’s rather pathetic really on my part.”

“Well I guess you have your own reasons for not retaliating.”

“Yeah I do, also Spender would kill me if I did anything without his say so.”

“I take it this Fox Mulder is important to Spender?”

“Spender thinks Mulder is his son, only he gets to make the man’s life hell.”

“Well he can’t want him to suffer that much.”

“Why, what makes you think that?”

“I’ve known Spender for many years, I guess to a certain degree I work for him just the same as you.”

“In what way?”

“You are not the first man he’s sent here; over the years many men have come here to be taught a lesson.”

“Do they all go back to Spender afterwards?”

“Not all, some die from disease or at the hand of other prisoners in here. I can’t offer protection to them all without raising suspicion the other guards only look away now and again. Others have stayed here until death because Spender no longer had a use for them, I do what I do so I stay alive too.”

“So why are you protecting me?”

“Spender made it very clear that he wants you back at some point, also he told me that I’d have no problem keeping you safe while here.”

“How did Spender know that?”

“You can be so naïve at times Alex; Spender knew you were my type and I’d be attracted to you straight away.”

“So, what if I were ugly then, how would you have kept me safe then?”

“You would have to be kept in a room alone, you would have food and use of the facilities.”

“So, they become a prisoner in a room just like this, so they suffer no form of abuse from the other prisoners or guards?”

“No one bothers them unless it’s to bring food, some find the isolation too much and break down.”

“Shit so you mean I’ve suffered all this just because of how I look?”

“What can I say? Yes, I guess that what you say is true.”

“You fuckin bastard…”

With that I pushed myself away from him and managed to stand up, I then found myself backing away into the nearest corner. Shit I felt sick and wanted to get as far away from him as possible, not that I could in a small room like this. All I could do was watch as he also got up and came towards me, it was just a natural reaction to raise my fist and wait to strike.

I knew he was watching every single move I made, yet he was faster than me and punched me in the stomach. I guess I’d forgot just how weak my body was, the man had no trouble bending my arm behind my back and shoving me face first over the bed.

“You Alex Krycek are the most annoying man I’ve ever dealt with, to strike a guard here means instant death and even Spender wouldn’t be able to stop it either.”

“Fuck you…”

“Calm down, unless you want to be restrained once more.”

I knew I was fucked and would have to calm down, otherwise I’d end up with a broken arm at the very least. I hate having everyone tell me what to do all the time too, I’d avoided Spender for so long and now I had to suffer this.

“Fine I’ll calm down, please just let me go as I feel really sick.”

“I’m not surprised, you’ve managed to pull out the catheter and drip. Look lay back down on the bed while I go and find the doctor, chances are he’ll be pleased that you’ve healed and are well again.”

“Fine I’ll lay back down.”

“Good, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

The door closed and then locked behind the guard, I meanwhile collapsed back on the bed I’d just escaped from. I wished the doctor would sedate me again, at least that way I wouldn’t have to suffer the guard and the payment he would want from me. To be honest, hell I wish I could be sedated until Spender wanted me back.

The door opened and the doctor came towards the bed, he then started checking my temperature and fussing around. Once done he smiled at me and then turned back to the guard, great I forgot the man couldn’t speak any English at all. I could see them both watching me as they talked together, then the guard was laughing with the doctor at something the other man had said.

“What’s so funny?”

“Don’t panic Alex, the good doctor was just telling me to play nicely with my toys and then he wouldn’t have to come here again.”

“Yeah right, I bet you wanted me healthy so you could do it all over again…”

“Alex, I promised that I won’t go that far again, I’m sure we can find another way for you to repay me.”

“Yeah I bet I still suffer one way or another.”

“Get some rest and I’ll go and find some food for you.”

“Maybe I’m sick of resting and staying in this bed all the time.”

“You can eat and then I’ll find something for you to do.”

“Yeah I bet you will…”

I turned over onto my side and ignored him, soon I heard the door close as he left me here once more. It was just then a thought occurred to me, I stayed alive mainly because I was alert and noticed all the small things. I’d heard the door click shut behind the guard, however this time I never heard it lock when he left.

I forced myself to get out of the bed and went over towards the door, once there I listened to see if I could hear anyone outside the door. Everything was quiet so I decided to slowly open the door an inch or so, now I’d have to try and remember my way out of this hell hole. Shit it was then I remembered that I was naked and would need clothes, even though I knew I’d escape without them if it came to it.

It was rather cold as I walked along the corridors, I made sure I took care as I went around every corner so there were no surprises. I’d also have to remember that the guard only went to find me some food, chances are I’d have maybe twenty minutes before he noticed I were gone. Further along I noticed another door and slowly opened it, apparently it looked like a storage closet as there was only cleaning materials inside.

I was starting to panic and knew my time was running out; however I noticed the overall that was hung on the door and the boots on the floor. Within seconds I dressed in the overall and boots, maybe this way the guards wouldn’t pay me any attention at all. It turned out that only the cells were kept locked, it was as if the guards were so sure that no one would ever escape from here.

Well I soon realized it worked to my advantage, I reached the outer doors and realized they weren’t even locked either. So far, I’d passed two guards without any problems at all, now I had to pray that none of them patrolled outside the building. At least night was coming and darkness might be my friend once more, finally I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

I took a couple of steps outside and closed the door behind me, there were no guards around to stop me escaping, however I did notice the jeeps that were parked out here. I wasn’t stupid and knew how to hotwire a vehicle if need be, there were three parked and I decided to choose the middle one. I guess it gave me a cover and wouldn’t alert anyone of my presence, however I’d literally have seconds to escape once I started the engine.

I managed to hot wire the jeep and start the engine, then within seconds I floored the gas pedal and got the hell out of this dump. Within seconds I could hear the alarm as it sounded loud along with the voices, shit then I heard the other engines come to life and knew I had to move it. I had no idea where the hell I was going or where the airport was, shit I’d have to use a boat as I had no documentation to fly. First, I had to deal with the here and know, and that meant I had to lose the men that were perusing me.

It was just so fuckin dark out here and I could see no roads or anything, at this rate I’d end up lost in the middle of fuckin nowhere. At least I couldn’t see any headlights behind me, however then suddenly out of nowhere I saw a fuckin tree or bush. I grabbed the steering wheel tight and swerved to avoid it the best I could, and that was when I realized it was too late. I avoided that tree, however it turned out there was more than just the one in this area.

I hit the tree with the jeep, it had caused the jeep to stall and I franticly tried to re start the engine without any luck. Then to make matters worse I could see some headlights in the distance, then I knew my time was running out and I’d have to go on foot from here. It was far from just dark out here; it was the middle of nowhere with no lights or anything and the sky was black. All that stood out were the headlights as they came even closer, I hid in a bush and was starting to panic now.

It was only a few seconds later that I heard the jeeps as they came to a stop, I could hear muffled voices and knew they were checking out the jeep I’d stole, it was only a matter of time before they realized I couldn’t have got far on foot. I could see torch lights shinning around on the ground near me, then I could hear as one of them started shouting out loud.

“We know you’re out here somewhere Alex, you are at least a four hour walk to the nearest town and that’s if you go the right way. How long do you think you’ll survive out here alone, you will have no food or water?”

Deep down I knew what they were saying was true, yet I also knew I’d be made to suffer once they found me. Shit I was fucked both ways and knew it would all end in pain, maybe a beating might be better than dying alone and starving to death.

“Alex this is your last chance, we’ll be more lenient on you if you surrender.”

Great I knew Sam was one of the guards out there waiting for me, the man had already made me suffer at his hands and chances are this would be worse. Fuck it, I stood up and started walking towards the torches they held.

“Don’t shoot, I’m surrendering.”

“On your knees now.”

I did as they said, both guards came up to me and one used some cuffs to restrain my hands behind my back. I was then pulled up and made to stand again, then both guards dragged me towards a jeep and forced me inside. I heard the other guard radio in that I was found, also he informed them that they’d need to retrieve the jeep I’d stolen.

“Right let’s get you back to the prison, I’m sure Sam will be the one who wants to punish you.”

I hunched up in my seat and refused to speak to the guard, I also knew that Sam had lied to me too with regards to the other guards. I was told none of the others spoke English, yet the other guards had no problem calling for me using that language. I’d deal with everything else later on, my body was exhausted and I was hungry too. I hadn’t even realized I’d slept, well not until the guard was shaking me and telling me to wake up. I opened my eyes and saw I was back where I’d started from, now there were two guards stood at the main doors waiting for us to enter.

“Stand there Alex and don’t try anything.”

“Why, what will happen to me now?”

“Sam will be here soon and he’ll deal with you.”

I was forced to just stand here and wait, well at least it meant I had a few minutes to mentally prepare myself for what was to come. I watched the other guards and knew that they were talking about me, shit then I started to wonder if Spender would also be informed of my escape attempt. Then I heard a voice and footsteps coming close, I looked up and saw Sam talking with another guard. I waited a few more minutes as he finished talking to the other man, then I knew it was showtime as Sam walked over towards me and uttered one word.

“Walk.”

I decided to just do as he asked, hell I already knew he was pissed off and I’d be suffering soon enough. I followed him along the corridors that took me back to that room. In all honesty I’d expected him to take me back to that cold damp basement once more, well considering no one would hear me if I were to scream. Once inside the room Sam closed and locked the door behind us both, he then went behind me and removed the cuffs.

“Strip now Alex.”

“Shit I’m sorry Sam, I just saw the opportunity and acted on it without thinking…”

“Shut up Alex and do as I ask.”

I hated it when people made me do this, it felt so degrading having to strip while the other person remained fully clothed. It was also a way of making you feel like nothing, they were the one that carried all the power and authority over you. Yet I stood here and removed the boots while he watched, then came the overall and I then stood there naked and looked at the floor.

“Alex look at me.”

It was hard having to look at his face, I could see the conflicting emotions as he watched my every move. I bet he was thinking of all the ways he could punish me and get off, I had to remember that it was pain and suffering that turned the man on.

“You really don’t like this do you?”

“Like what?”

“Having to stand here naked in front of me, does it belittle you Alex and make you feel defenceless?”

“Fuck you…”

Shit suddenly he back handed me and split my lip open, I could hear his breathing change and knew he was enjoying my suffering. I also knew he wouldn’t be happy with what he’d done, he’d want to do far more before this ended.

“You have a habit of pissing people off Alex, however nothing you do will stop me from doing what I want. You see now you owe me even more, as I was the one responsible for you and your behaviour.”

“So how do I owe you, I’m a fuckin prisoner and owe you nothing…”

“Well Spender’s your boss and he says different.”

“What, you told Spender?”

“I had very little choice Alex, you see he was the one who ordered me to keep you here in the first place.”

“Shit, what did he say?”

“Firstly, he said he’d pay for all repairs to the jeep, he then laughed and said he expected no less from you. Spender said he knew you’d try to escape, apparently you always run when things get tough and are to be watched all the time.”

“Yeah whatever, like I give a shit what that cancerous bastard has to say.”

“Are you sure Alex? Spender said I’m to punish you, he also said that he’ll let me choose and I can do what I see fit for the crime.”

“Great, so what have you decided then?”

“To be honest I wanted to beat the crap out of you for running away, yet to a certain degree I can understand why you did it though.”

“Does that mean you won’t punish me then?”

“Nice try Alex, I said I can understand why you did it that’s all. At the end of the day you did something wrong and have to be punished for it.”

“Yeah somehow I thought as much.”

“I’ve learnt that you’re a hard man to break, somehow I have a feeling you’re used to pain and can take most of it.”

“Hey it’s an occupational hazard, just because I tolerate it, it doesn’t mean I like it.”

“Sit on the bed and I’ll get something to clean your mouth.”

“Why bother if you’re going to punish me anyway?”

“Because I want to kiss you….”

“What?”

“Sit.”

I did as he asked and sat on the edge of the bed, soon he returned with a cloth and gently cleaned my split lip. Then suddenly he mouth was upon my own and he was kissing me, he even forced my lips apart and shoved his tongue deep inside my mouth. I could barely breathe and was starting to become lightheaded, this felt way too personal for my comfort and I tried pulling away. Then I was so relieved when he pulled his mouth away, however I could see the lust and his true want within his eyes.

“Shit what the hell was that for? You have me here as your prisoner so there’s no point, you can do what you want with me without having to seduce me!”

“Alex have you ever had someone special, was there someone who loved you and showed you what love is?”

“Fuck this…”

“Alex just answer the question.”

“No, I’ve never had anyone who loved me okay, so now you can drop it and leave me alone…”

“It could only hurt you Alex if you want to be loved, or maybe there’s someone out there that you love but they don’t know.”

“Maybe a long time ago I wanted to be loved, however I soon found out that wasn’t what anyone wanted from me. I was a good fuck and nothing more, so I learnt to use sex to get what I wanted from people.”

“What about the person you love?”

“I never said there was anyone.”

“Alex I can see it when I mention it to you, would it happen to be the man you dream about all the time?”

“What?”

“You dream about Fox Mulder; you even talk about him in your sleep.”

“Fox Mulder would rather see me dead than fuck me, the man has only laid hands on me to beat me.”

“Maybe that’s the only way he knows how to express himself.”

“I don’t know or care, just drop it okay.”

“Okay, maybe I should show you what it’s like to have someone treat you right.”

“Go to hell…”

“You’re so defensive Alex, maybe I will use it as a way to punish you instead.”

“What do you mean?”

“Instead of beating you and hurting you physically, instead I will punish you mentally and show you what you could have but don’t.”

“Ha and you think that will break me?”

“Well if you’re so confident you’ll have nothing to worry about, will you?”

“Whatever.”

It was easy to open my mouth and spout shit; it was something I was good at and had done it to many people in the past. Now though it was different, saying it didn’t actually instil any confidence in me whatsoever. All I could do was stand here like an idiot as he undressed, then suddenly he had his arms around me and him mouth found mine once more.

Maybe I wasn’t as strong as I thought I were, he might just prove this theory of his right and I’d fall apart. So many years and no one had ever held me like this or shown me any kind of tenderness. I just had to keep reminding myself that this was nothing more than a game to him, I meant nothing to him or anyone for that matter.

Shit I was totally gone as he pressed against me, he had his hands on my backside and he kept squeezing my ass tight. Then I could feel his own erection as he pressed it against my thigh, I wasn’t innocent when it came to sex but this felt far different from all the others.

It also reminded me that I hadn’t slept with anyone for months, so now I was desperate and wanted him to fuck me without the foreplay. I guess I didn’t get a say though, this was his game and I had to play along and do whatever he wanted. He kissed me for a few more seconds and then stopped, he then stepped back and just stared at me and I felt nervous.

“You’re gorgeous Alex.”

“Yeah whatever, any chance you could just move this along?”

“I’m afraid not Alex, I want you to go and lay on the bed without touching yourself.”

“Great…”

“Alex this is going to last a few hours so you’d better accept it, let’s see if you’re as strong as you claim.”

Yeah everything was just a game to him and about showing his authority, yet despite it I still went and lay on the bed. Oh fuck this really would be my undoing, Sam started running his tongue along one of my legs and then moved to the other. Well I soon realized he was going to totally avoid my throbbing erection, he seemed to me more interested in biting my inner thighs.

“Oh Jesus, please I really need to come…”

“Shush Alex and I’ll make it good for you.”

“It will be good for me if you let me come.”

“Alex…”

“Oh shit!”

The bastard had nipped at the tender flesh near my groin and I nearly came, I don’t think he realized that his hair was also tickling the end of my cock, Ha most likely he knew and was doing it on purpose, all I knew was that he’d end up driving me insane before I found any release.

Now Sam moved higher up and licked along my stomach, then he worked higher still and suddenly nipped one of my tender nipples. One by one he took them in his mouth and soon they were hard and stood up for his attention. He kept this up for what seemed like ages, and then he suddenly slapped my thigh to get my attention.

“Roll over onto your stomach Alex.”

“Have you got sick of looking at me already?”

“Believe me, this is only temporary Alex and you’ll face me again before I allow you to come.”

“Great, so no time soon then?”

“Move now.”

I rolled over onto my stomach and just lay here, soon his mouth nipped at my shoulders and then he moved lower and ran his tongue down my spine. I shuddered under his touch and even cried out, I’d never had anyone do this or turn me on so much.

I felt his body heat withdraw from me; shit I even twisted my neck to look at him. I realized that he was knelt up and just staring at me, I started to panic and wondered if this was how he planned to leave me. Maybe he saw it as a way to truly punish me and would leave me hard, I turned my head back and just lay on the bed in silence.

Then suddenly he moved once more and parted my ass cheeks, finally it looked like he was actually going to fuck me. Oh god did I jump at his touch, he was now rimming my ass with his tongue and even forcing it inside me. My hands gripped the sheet as tight as I could, the man had one hell of a talented tongue and I wanted to come as he fucked me with it.

At first, I hadn’t even realized the moaning noises were coming from me, I was so close and was about to come without him even touching my cock. Fuck then I tightened the muscles in my ass and he knew, within seconds he’d pulled away and was knelt up again.

“You bastard…”

“What’s the matter Alex, did I destroy your plans to come without my say so?”

“Please, I’ll beg if that’s what you want?”

“I’m afraid that won’t help you in the slightest, you will only come when I say you can.”

“Fuckin great.”

“Alex shut up and turn over.”

I turned over and closed my eyes, I never wanted anyone to see me as vulnerable as I felt right now. Great and then he started kissing me once more and I was losing it fast, I also couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down my cheek and fell onto the bed. Suddenly he got up and off the bed, maybe he’d realized that I was pathetic and a total waste of time.

“Just hang in there Alex.”

I watched as he rooted around in his jacket pocket, then to my relief he produced a condom and a small tube of lube. Then within seconds he was back on the bed and between my open thighs, now all I could do was lay here while he coated his fingers in the slick gel. Slowly he forced one finger inside my ass and moved it around, then by the time he reached three I was moaning like a bitch in heat.

“Do you like that Alex, god your ass is so tight and I can’t wait to shove my cock in there.”

“God I can’t wait either…”

Sam obviously decided I was stretched enough, soon he had the tip of his erection against my ass and was pushing it in until it could go no further. Only then did he actually start fucking me hard, over and over he hit my prostate until I was sobbing with need.

“Come for me Alex.”

There was no holding back as I came all over my stomach, at the same time I clenched my ass and felt him come deep inside my ass. Then to my surprise he never even moved away afterwards, instead he moved up the bed and licked my face as he held me in his arms. It took me a while to realize I was crying and he was licking the tears away, I was totally undone and soon started sobbing.

“Hey I’ve got you Alex, shit you do things to me that no one else ever has and I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“Don’t say that, you’ve already broke me and don’t need to lie anymore.”

“I’m not lying Alex; shit I guess my plan has backfired on me too.”

I took my hands and tried pushing him away from me, I realized that either scenario would cause me to suffer. I hated the lies and wanted it to stop, yet I couldn’t stand the thought of someone actually loving and wanting me either. Sam pulled me close to him and held me tight, my arms became trapped between our bodies and I could no longer fight him.

“Please just let me hold you Alex, I know that this can never be anything more than what it is. It will only be a matter of time before you leave here behind, then we’ll both have to carry on with our lives as if nothing happened.”

“You were right.”

“What about Alex?”

“No one has ever shown me any kind of love, so you broke me with your kindness and love.”

“Try not to think too much Alex, just lay here and get some sleep.”

I closed my eyes and let him hold me one last time, he was right and soon enough I’d be the big bad Alex Krycek once more. I felt him stroking my hair and kissing my cheek as sleep claimed me.

I woke to find myself in the room alone, Sam never came that day or the next. I was to spend the rest of my time in that room alone, no one came other than to bring me food and check up on me from time to time. I never saw Sam the rest of the time I was here, also no one would answer any of my questions regarding him.

It was another month or so before anyone came for me and I was needed once more, a guard came into the room and gave me some sweatpants and a tee shirt to wear. I don’t think I’d ever dressed that fast in my entire life, I was then told to follow him as he led me into a small room with a table and two chairs. I then got the shock of my life when the door opened and Marita walked in, god the women looked so out of place in a shit hole like this.

“Marita…”

“I’d say you’re looking good Alex, however that would be a lie.”

“Yeah well it’s not my fault that I ended up here.”

“According to Spender, you stole from him and even gave some of the information to Fox Mulder.”

“Whatever, I take it he needs me now though?”

“Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have stepped foot in a place like this.”

“So how come he sent you anyway?”

“I have no idea Alex and unlike some I can follow orders.”

“Yeah right, you’ve never crossed him or betrayed him have you Marita…”

“I’m not here to argue with you Alex, my job is to take you back to America.”

“Good, so when can we get the hell out of here?”

“Put these shoes on and coat, then we’ll be spending a couple of nights in a motel.”

“So, when do we leave this country?”

“We drive to the city and spend two nights there, then the day after we’ll fly back to America.”

“Good can we leave now?”

“Hold on.”

Marita went to find the guard and tell him we were ready to leave, then soon we were led to the main doors and my freedom from here. Something just didn’t feel right, it was if I were running away from something that had troubled me while I were here.

“Alex what’s wrong?”

“Wait in the cab Marita, I just want a quick word with the guard.”

“Very well, just make it quick Alex.”

I walked up to the guard and he frowned, hell I bet he was wondering why I wasn’t high tailing it out of here after what I’d suffered. Well I wasn’t taking any bullshit as I was no longer their prisoner, also I knew that they all spoke perfect English.

“Can you tell me why Sam suddenly disappeared?”

“It is of no concern to you.”

“I just want to know that he’s okay, and whether he still has a job here after what I did?”

“Sam still works here and just wanted some personal time off, beyond that my lips are sealed.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is?”

“Sam is a friend and wouldn’t like it if I were gossiping about him.”

“Fine, thanks anyway for letting me know he’s okay.”

Soon I joined Maria and we were leaving the prison behind us; the trip was made in silence as there was nothing to talk about. Yeah, we both worked for that black lunged bastard, however we had nothing else in common.

Soon we were entering the motel and Marita shoved a key in my hand, I looked down and realized it had a number on and I was expected to find my own room.

“So, what happens now Marita?”

“Well first I would suggest you shower and change, the bag on the floor is yours and should have everything you need in it.”

“Great I can finally get dressed again.”

“Alex, I suggest you shower and change, then you might want to consider eating a proper meal. Your time here is to rest and get ready to face Spender again.”

“Did he really replace me Marita?”

“Yeah however your replacement proved to be worse than you.”

“Do I know him?”

“I have no idea, take it up with Spender and not me. Look you can do what you want until that plane leaves, however Spender will track you down and kill you if you disappear.”

“Yeah I get it.”

“Just go to your room Alex, you’ll also find a phone in that bag so you can ring Spender if you’re that bothered.”

“I might just do that.”

“Whatever, I’ll message you when it’s time to leave.”

I guess Marita wasn’t that keen on my company, well she wasn’t hanging around and just left me standing here. Right my first job was to find my own room, I was surprised that it was rather large and clean, also there was a huge double bed there too.

The first thing I did was unpack the bag Marita had brought, well it appeared I now had a phone along with a gun and some money. I then pulled out the clothes and wondered who had packed the bag, well whoever it was knew what my taste in clothes were.

I pulled out the black jeans and white tee shirts, there was also some underwear and other bits and pieces that I might need while I were here. Then there at the bottom of the bag was my own black boots and leather jacket. I thought back to where I were when they grabbed me, then I remembered how I’d entered the apartment and that I was wearing my jacket. So, it looked like someone had taken all my clothes and then had them cleaned for me, yeah most likely Spender preparing for the day he’d need me once more.

Well I’d done enough thinking and brooding over things, maybe Marita was right and I was in need of a good shower. The bathroom was clean and I enjoyed the warm water and soft towels, in no time I was showered, shaved and truly clean again. Now I had to figure out what to do with all the free time I had, we were in the city and there had to be something that I could do for some fun.

I slipped on my jacket and instantly felt like my old self, shit I knew I’d be lost if anything were to ever happen to my jacket. It was part of me and had survived so much just as I had, now I grabbed the gun and wallet so I was ready to leave for a while. I made sure I left the phone behind as I wanted this time for me, I wasn’t ready to deal with the likes of Spender just yet.

I grabbed a cab and asked the driver to take me to a bar or nightclub, tonight I wanted to get pissed and forget about everything that had happened inside that prison. I wanted to reclaim and find myself before anything else, once in America it would be Spender pulling all my strings as usual. Shit would he make me suffer even after all this, or would my time here be enough payment for what I did.

I was a fuckin idiot at times and I knew it, Fox Mulder was my biggest distraction in life and I’d do anything to get in his good books. I also knew I’d do it again if I got to see him, great now I was thinking about Mulder and what he might be doing right now.

The cab pulled to a stop and I got out, well I soon realized that it was a nightclub and also it was packed. I worked my way towards the bar and ordered a double vodka, then I looked around the place and checked out all the escape routes in case I had to use them. I guess watching your own back is a lesson I’ll never forget in a hurry, then my eyes noticed the drunk man that was leant on the bar with his head in his hands.

Okay I was a sucker and felt sorry for the man, that’s why I asked the bar tender to get the man another drink and I’d pay for it. Soon I watched as the bar tender placed the glass in front of the man, he then tapped the man’s shoulder and pointed towards me. I watched and expected the man to thank me for the drink, however he looked as shocked as I did right now. So, it appeared Sam wanted personal time off, time that he was just using to get himself drunk in some bar or other. I couldn’t help myself as I moved, I grabbed my drink and made my way through the people to reach him.

“Hey Alex, I hadn’t expected to see you in here. God you still look as sexy as hell fully dressed.”

“Sam why did you disappear?”

“I took some personal time off that’s all.”

“Yeah right, I’m not stupid Sam and I know it has something to do with me.”

“What can I say Alex?”

“How about the truth.”

“You turned everything I was upside down; I don’t mean that in a bad way either.”

“So, what exactly do you mean Sam?”

“I always knew who I was and what I wanted from a partner, then you came along and made me realize I wanted something else. I always dished out the punishment and got off on it, then that night with you made me realize what I really wanted.”

“What’s that?”

“I want someone that I can hold, someone who wants to be loved and give love. Shit I don’t even know if any of this is making sense, I guess I’ve had a few drinks while I’ve sat here.”

“Don’t worry as I understand what you want, you can have it Sam if it’s what you truly want. You have to talk and start any relationship slow, beating people will turn them away from you.”

“Yeah, I realize that now, however I also realized who it is I want…”

“Please Sam…”

“Don’t worry as I know nothing can ever come of it, that’s why I felt it was best if I disappeared for a while.”

“Why because you could no longer punish me?”

“Yeah and that wouldn’t have gone down well in a prison, shit I cared about you far too much and didn’t want to see you suffering.”

“Someone will come along one day Sam, well providing you start treating them right.”

“Yeah, I guess, so are you off back to America soon?”

“Yeah in a couple of days.”

“So, do you have any plans until then, I thought maybe we could go to another bar and have a few drinks together.”

“Yeah I’d like that, maybe somewhere a little quieter though.”

“You won’t find many places like that around here, there’s only a couple of bars so they become packed real fast.”

“Okay. I take it there’s a liquor store around here?”

“Yeah there’s one a couple of doors down.”

“Great we can grab a bottle and then call a cab.”

“Then what?”

“We can go back to my motel room, shit that’s if you want to?”

“Yeah I’d like that Alex.”

It wasn’t long before we had a bottle of strong vodka and called a cab, we were heading towards my motel room and I was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. The last thing I wanted was to lead the man on in any way, also I knew I myself was also at risk of getting hurt. This one man alone had made me feel so much in just a few hours, if only Mulder had ever wanted me or held me like that.

Shit why did everything in my life have to lead back to that one man, well for tonight I would have to try and pretend that Mulder didn’t exist. Who knows what might happen back in America, maybe I might see how he’s doing and check he’s okay? Right that was enough, tonight I had Sam to deal with and that was enough for now. We arrived and entered the motel together, Sam went and sat on the end of the bed while I poured us both a much needed drink. Shit I realized that the bed was the only place we could both sit and talk together, then my mind went back to the last time I’d been in a bed alone with this man. It wasn’t love on my part and I knew that, I guess it was the need to feel wanted and held by someone else.

We both talked about what had happened between us while I kept on pouring the drinks, it wasn’t long before Sam was struggling to stay awake and remain upright. I realized there was no way I could just put him in a cab and send him home tonight, maybe it was just the drink talking however I wasn’t prepared to risk it. Sam seemed rather depressed and I had a feeling I was to blame for it all, well I guess I always were good at fucking things up.

“Sam lay down before you fall down.”

“Just call me a cab Alex and I’ll go home; it’s getting late and you’ll be needing some sleep yourself soon.”

“I’m okay, look just humour me and stay the night.”

“Only if it’s what you really want?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if it bothered me.”

I guess that actions can speak far louder than words, I took the empty glass from his hand and pushed him so he was on his back. I then started undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one until it was wide open, only then did I remove it and pull his tee shirt off too. Once done I pushed myself farther down the bed and started on his jeans, it was only then that he grabbed hold of my wrist and stopped me.

“Don’t go any further if you expect something in return Alex, shit I’ve had way too much to drink and couldn’t do anything even if I wanted to.”

“I don’t want anything in return Sam, I’m just trying to make you comfortable and prove I want you to stay.”

“Okay I’d like to stay tonight.”

It didn’t take me long to remove the remainder of his clothes, only then did I remove my own and slip in the bed beside him. At first, he just lay there and stared at the ceiling, shit maybe I really was making everything far harder for him to move on.

“Sam can I hold you?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

I held him in my arms and waited until I knew he was relaxed and asleep, only then did I close my own eyes and drift into a nightmare free sleep. Morning came and I actually felt refreshed for once, I did notice that Sam was still asleep and wondered if he’d have a hangover today.

God this man made me question myself and the life I lead, I also knew that I actually did like the man despite how we met and what had happened before this moment in time. I couldn’t stop myself as I leant forward and kissed his warm lips, however I was more surprised when he started kissing me back and even used his tongue. I could barely even breathe when we finally parted, and I noticed Sam seemed to be in the exact same predicament as me.

“Please don’t tease me Alex…”

“I’m not teasing you, shit I want to feel myself deep inside you before we go our own way.”

“I thought you preferred to be the bottom?”

“Sam I only let you because I was a prisoner and had no say in anything, you’re the first person that’s done that in years. Don’t worry I’ll understand if it’s something you don’t want.”

“I do want it Alex, I guess I’m worried as no one has ever done that to me before.”

“I’ll go slow and make it as easy as possible for you, shit not that I have anything here that we could use.”

“My jacket pocket…”

I jumped of the bed and started searching through his pockets, within no time I found the condom and lube. I then went back to the bed and told Sam to part his legs for me, as I knew I’d have to do this slow or I’d put him off for life. I made sure I fully coated my fingers with the clear gel, I also used plenty on his ass and he was already moaning out loud.

“Do you like that Sam?”

“Jesus, yes I like it and need more!”

“Soon I promise, that’s just a couple of fingers and I haven’t finished yet.”

“God please just get a move on then.”

“I see you’re still a pushy bastard, however we’re doing it my way now Sam.”

I inserted another finger and stretched the tight hole before me, even I knew I’d have to get a move on, or I’d come myself. I grabbed the condom and put it on with great care, even that was making my sensitive cock weep more. Then I placed the tip of my erection against his ass and pressed, inch by inch I worked it until I was buried as far as I could go.

“Holy shit…”

“Did you like that Sam?”

“Yes, god what did you do to me?”

“I’m teaching you that this way can be pleasurable too.”

“Shit I think I’ve just realized that Alex, please just fuck me hard.”

“I’m getting there, you don’t want me to come just yet as it will all be over.”

“I just want to feel it all, everything that you give me and more.”

“Greedy bastard, god you’re such a slut Sam.”

I practically pulled my erection all the way out, then I made him wait a few seconds before slamming back into him and hitting his prostate. I managed to do it a couple more times and then he came screaming my name, that pushed me over the edge and I soon came too.

“Shit I’m exhausted, I never thought someone topping me would feel like that.”

“Well I guess we’ve both learnt new things about ourselves.”

“Yeah that’s true, I guess I should shower and think about going home.”

“Do you have to rush away, I thought we could get something to eat and then we’d have to part.”

“Are you sure it’s what you really want Alex?”

“Yeah, I know nothing can ever come of this and soon I’ll be leaving for America. I just thought we could…I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter Alex, yes I would like it if we went to get food. We will part soon enough and will have to accept that, maybe in America you can tell Fox Mulder how you feel about him?”

“Yeah right, my first job will be facing Spender.”

“You’re tougher than you think Alex and will survive.”

“I guess so.”

“Come on let’s get a cab and find somewhere that sells breakfast, there’s a couple of places that are not too far from here.”

Soon the cab arrived, and Sam told the driver where to take us. It turned out to be a coffee house that actually served good coffee, hell and even better pancakes. I covered them in maple syrup and ate every single bit. Then I had an image of Mulder laid naked on his bed, suddenly I wanted to pour the maple syrup all over him and then lick it off.

“Alex.”

“What?”

“You were miles away.”

“I was just thinking about going back to America.”

“You’ll be okay once you settle back in.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Right if we’re finished, I’m just off to use the facilities.”

Sam stood and placed some money on the table for the waitress, he then left me there while he used the bathroom. Well I might as well take advantage of the situation while I could, I waited a couple of minutes and then followed Sam into the bathroom. I bumped into him as he was coming out, however I had other ideas and pushed him into the nearest cubicle.

“Alex what the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“Shit you can’t do that in here…”

I’d dropped to my knees and already had his jeans unfastened and pulled so far down; I then licked the length of his cock until it became hard.

“Alex…”

“I’m doing it Sam, so you’d better learn how to be quiet and fast.”

I deep throated his throbbing erection and gave it my all, I guess I wanted someone in this world to remember the real me. I could be kind and caring if I had reason to be. This was harder than I thought though, especially as my own erection was painfully trapped inside my own jeans. I soon worked up a rhythm and had him coming within seconds, I then greedily made sure I swallowed every drop before I released him.

I watched as he pulled his jeans back up and made himself presentable, he then reached out and pulled me up so I was facing him. Then without any warning he was kissing me with so much passion that my head hurt, we finally only parted when we heard the door and knew someone was entering.

“Come on Alex, I think it’s time we got out of here don’t you?”

“Yeah, otherwise I think they’ll throw us out for public indecency.”

“So, do you fancy a bar and a couple of drinks, there’s one just across the road if you want to go.”

“Why the hell not, okay Sam you can lead the way.”

We crossed the road and entered the bar, which I noticed was far quieter than the last bar I’d been in. Well I guess this was daytime and I was pleased by that fact, it meant we could find a table in the corner and talk. We ended up talking for a couple of hours and a few drinks, it was Sam who suggested we take a walk and say our goodbyes to each other.

The park was rather empty now as evening was approaching fast, Sam led me around the park and over towards some sheds that were away from the main path that ran around the park.

“Sam what are you doing?”

“I’m repaying you for earlier in the café.”

“You don’t have to do it.”

“I’m doing it because I want to.”

Shit I soon realized the night air was rather cool, especially as I now stood here with my jeans opened and pulled down. Sam soon went to his knees and started working his magic on me, and I became hard within seconds of his mouth touching me.

“Oh fuck…”

I tried to relax and keep still so he was in control of how fast he went, yet I wanted this more than ever and slowly started fucking his mouth. Then suddenly I wanted far more and pulled my erection free from his mouth, I could see the look of confusion as he started up at me with sad eyes.

“Have I done something wrong Alex?”

“No Sam, I need you inside me now.”

“Shit we’ve no lube or anything.”

“I’m clean as you’re the only one who’s touched me in over a year.”

“Yeah well same here.”

“What you never got tempted with all those other prisoners?”

“No, I guess there was just something about you Alex.”

“Good, so now we’ve sorted that out you can fuck me.”

“Alex we still don’t have any lube.”

“Sam, I want it to hurt, I want you to fuck me hard so that I can feel you for days to come.”

“Shit are you sure.”

“Just fuck me…”

Suddenly Sam pushed me down onto all fours, he then knelt behind me and I braced myself for the brief pain that would follow. Sam placed his erection against my tight hole and grabbed hold of my hips, then within seconds he rammed his cock deep inside my body. I couldn’t help but scream out at first, the combination of the pain and the pressure pushing against my prostate.

I had never liked to bottom for anyone and knew this might be the last time I ever did, however this time I welcomed the pain and was willing to take it all. Sam also knew this would be the last time we were together and gave it everything he had, he fucked me hard until we both came screaming and I collapsed onto the grass.

Finally, we both stood up and re arranged our clothes so we were presentable, then Sam pulled me into his arms and held me. I let him do this as I actually felt wanted, it was also then that I realized I was crying. This man had shown me so much in a short time, it had made me realize just how fucked up my life really was. Part of me wanted this with someone special, a normal life with a lover who wanted me.

“Alex I’m going to stay here for a while; however I think the time has come for you to leave. Go back to your motel and rest, then tomorrow you can go back to America and get on with your life.”

“I won’t ever forget you Sam.”

“Likewise.”

Sam gave me one final kiss and his phone number before stepping away from me. Shit all I could do was stand there and watch as he walked over to a bench, I had to realize this was just as hard for him too. I braced myself and finally turned away from him, then I’d take a slow walk back to my motel and try to get my head together somehow.

I walked back to the motel and thought about all I’d had with Sam, why the hell couldn’t I have Fox Mulder like that towards me? Well maybe it could have something to do with who I am, a worthless piece of scum that he believed killed his father.

Once in my room, I locked the door and lay down on the bed fully clothed. I was still in the exact same position the next morning, I’d woke when Marita started hammering on my room door. I dragged myself off the bed and stumbled over towards the door, I then pulled it open before she started hammering again and causing me a headache.

“Shit Marita, do you really have to knock so loud?”

“I’ve tried knocking quietly and it got me nowhere, also you look like you’ve been to hell and back Alex.”

“Thanks, so what did you want me for anyway?”

“The cab will be here within the hour; I suggest you clean yourself up and pack your stuff.”

“Yeah I’ll get on it, was there anything else?”

“No…”

“Good.”

I made a point of closing the door in her face, I had one hour and then we’d be in a cab and on our way to the airport. I’d be out of this country and on my way home, yeah back to my ever so wonderful life. I grabbed a very quick shower, that way I wouldn’t smell of sex the entire trip back to America. Finally, Maria showed up and we were on our way back, however now I had to deal with a three hour wait until our train departed.

I was so fuckin bored, the one thing I really hated in life was having to wait around. Well there were far better things I could be doing with my time, then I remembered the mobile phone I had in my pocket. Oh, and I was so good at memorized numbers of those who mattered, I realized it was still only eight in the morning back in D.C and Mulder might be at work, yet I still dialled his number.

“Agent Mulder speaking.”

“Oh fuck.”

Suddenly and it was so unlike me, I was totally lost for words and hadn’t a clue what to say to the man now I’d phoned him.

“Who is this? I’m hanging up if you’re not going to say anything.”

“Mulder…”

“Shit is that you Alex?”

“I can’t…”

“Talk you fuckin bastard, you owe me after the way you walked out on me.”

I totally panicked and hung up on Mulder, first he’d called me Alex and that worried me. Then he’d said I owed him for the way I’d left him, I tried racking my brain and thinking about the last time I was with him. There was nothing to remember, everything was the same as it always was when we were anywhere near each other. Mainly that Mulder beat me and I let him, so how the fuck could I owe the man anything?

I nearly dropped the phone as it started ringing, one glance and I knew it was Mulder returning my call. Great now I’d become so lax after my little incarceration, hell I hadn’t even thought to block my own number before I’d called him.

Three times he tried ringing me and I refused to answer, instead I decided to silence the phone and have it on vibrate only. Mulder though was as persistent as usual and even sent text messages, right now I was scared to see what he actually had to say to me. I’d leave it a while and check once we’re one the plane and Marita was asleep or preoccupied. Talk of the devil, I could see Marita coming to look for me, I realized the woman looked way too good to be traveling with someone like me.

“Alex we can board the plane now.”

“I thought we still had another hour or so?”

“First class passengers are allowed to board now.”

“What and you booked a first class seat for me too!”

“Spender has made it very clear about my mission and with regards to you Alex.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Basically, he doesn’t trust you and I’m not to let you out of my sight, also I refuse to travel anything other than first class.”

“What a surprise…”

“Shut up Alex, we’re not all low life scum like you.”

“Gee thanks Marita, so I take it I have to put up with you until we arrive in America?”

“Actually, I’m stuck with you until I deliver you to Spender himself.”

“Fuckin great, so I have to have a fuckin chaperone…”

“Hey I’m not happy about this either, you should be pleased he even wants you back.”

“Whatever.”

Fuckin stuck up bitch, Marita always thought she was better than me and liked to remind me of it. Yet she was no better than me when it came down to it, she was still a consortium lackey just as I were.

Finally, we boarded the plane and took our seats, Marita then informed me not to make myself too comfortable. Apparently, we’d be on the plane for less than three hours, then we had to wait in Paris for the flight that would take us all the way to America.

I decided to spend my time checking out my messages, it turned out I had four text messages and three voice messages. Knowing Mulder, he’d have left the voice messages first, then he would have worked himself up when I didn’t answer and then text me.

I grabbed the headphones provided and plugged them into my mobile, no way did I want Marita listening in to what Mulder had to say about me. The messages turned out to be pretty much all the same, yet I was a sad bastard and replayed them just so I could listen to his voice once more.

“Krycek answer your fuckin phone, how dare you call me without explaining what you did to me. Shit how could I have expected any different from low life scum like you?”

“Fuck you, you can’t hide or ignore me forever Krycek. It’s only a matter of time before our paths cross, then believe me you’ll wish you’d never been born!”

“Right three calls and you still refuse to talk to me, I guess you’re far more pathetic than I gave you credit for, well god help you and you’d better stay the hell away from me. You’re too scared to speak to me on the phone, well wait until you have to talk to me in person.”

I could tell by the third message Mulder really hated me for something I supposedly did, hell he’d got over the fact I’d supposedly killed his father so that couldn’t be it. I was at a total fuckin loss now, well maybe Spender or someone in the consortium would know what Mulders problem was.

The text messages revealed nothing at all, no clues and just more confusion. Mulder was blaming me for what I’d let other people do to him, I was starting to wonder if someone had spiked his water again. I wondered if Marita would know anything, Mulder was rather gullible and believed the sun shone out of her backside.

“Marita have I missed anything while I was away?”

“Such as?”

“Has anything new happened within the consortium?”

“Nothing major, the work goes on as do the tests. Spender has spent a lot of time with Casandra, oh and also his health has become far worse over the past few months.”

“Why what’s wrong with him?”

“I guess too many cigarettes, it’s taken its toll on him and left him very weak.”

“What, so are you telling me he’s dying?”

“I believe so, I guess the human body can only deal with so much.”

Hell maybe there was a God after all, the rest of the consortium didn’t give a shit about me and I knew they wouldn’t be a problem. It was always Spender that fucked me over, made sure I’d never have a chance of freedom while he was alive.

“So, what about the X files and Agent Mulder?”

“I don’t know all the details; I just know that Mulder did something that annoyed Spender. Other than that, the X files remains open and Mulder works alone now.”

“Why, what happened to Scully?”

“There was some disagreement between them and Scully left.”

“So how do you know that?”

“I still see Agent Mulder from time to time, he actually came to me and was looking for you.”

“Did he say what he wanted me for?”

“Apparently he despises you, I believe he was looking for you so he could kill you.”

“Why now, Mulder could have killed me loads of times?”

“Alex, I suggest you take it up with Spender.”

“Oh, don’t worry I will…”

Great maybe I should avoid Mulder for a while, I wanted to know exactly what I’d done before I faced him. Mulder could be very volatile when he was near me, and I guess I wasn’t ready to die just yet. We landed in Paris and went to the airport restaurant, neither of us had ate anything since early morning and I was starving.

Great it was then that I remembered why, I was so busy with Sam and nothing else had mattered to me at the time. Now the one and only person that truly mattered hated me more than ever, I had to accept that he’d always hate me and I should get over it and move on. Ha well that was far easier said than done, Mulder was the one person that had kept me going through all the bad times.

Maybe I also had to accept that the Mulder in my head would never be the Mulder I dealt with, I guess I had the man perched up high on a pedestal and refused to get him back down. I’d set myself up for nothing but pain and disappointment, Mulder would always hate me with a passion and that was a fact.

Finally, we were on the plane that would take us back to America, which I really had mixed feelings about. I guess it would be good to finally be back home, however that meant facing Spender and seeing if I still had my apartment. Knowing Spender, he’d make sure the rent was no longer paid and I’d be out on the streets again, also he knew I’d need him as no one else would want anything to do with me.

The biggest problem was me, my time in Tunisia had changed my outlook to who I am and what I want out of life. Spender believed he owned me and wouldn’t let me leave the consortium, that was why I had ideas in my head that would bring the cancerous bastard down once and for all. I wasn’t a stupid man and I could bide my time if need be, that was why I knew I’d have to be back under him for a while before I moved.

Spender had many enemies out there, everyone would believe that I was working for him and needed him, so why would I bite the hand that feeds me. I actually started to feel good about my future plans, and I knew one way or another Spender was going down. The time had come for change while I still had the chance, I just had to hope the fight would be worthwhile in the end and that Mulder would no longer hate me.

Talk about appeasing the gods, I wanted to destroy Spender so I could appease Mulder and gain his forgiveness, well in some ways I’d always seen him as my god. How could he hate me if I destroyed his biggest enemy, I would sell my own soul if it pleased Mulder, however my soul was now black and tainted.

I realized I’d spent most of the journey thinking about Mulder, well at least it’d made the time go faster and I was now officially in America. We soon made our way off the plane and out of the airport, at first, I thought Marita would find us a cab and we’d go see the smoker. Then I soon realized that wasn’t the case though, apparently Spender had sent his own car to pick us up and take us directly to him.

Shit I realized Spender wanted to make sure I didn’t disappear along the way, well at least I had the ride there to try and compose myself and decide what I was going to do. I hated the man and I also hated taking his orders, however I knew I’d have to bite my tongue and act all needy and sorry. My main goal was to make everyone think I needed him alive, however I’d have to mouth off at times or everyone would suspect I was up to something.

We finally arrived at our destination and got out of the car, and then I started to wonder whether it would be just Spender or the whole group of old men. Marita went ahead of me and opened the door to the large room, shit and there sat Spender looking like he was at deaths door.

“Ah the prodigal son has finally returned; Alex dear boy do come in and take a seat.”

“Cut the crap old man, you were the one who had me sent there.”

“Yes, and why was that Alex, what nothing to say for yourself?”

“Why do you need me to tell you, shit you already knew and that’s why you sent me to that shit hole in the first place.”

“Well from what I heard you had a good time while you were there.”

“What, having someone beat me until I had to be sedated until I recovered?”

“Calm down Alex and stop being so melodramatic, I heard all about you and Sam.”

“What, he told you?”

“Do you really think I’d put all my trust in one man? I have someone else out there too, someone who makes sure Sam does his job.”

“So what, you still drugged me and sent me there?”

“Well behave yourself and I won’t have to send you back there, you should remember who you work for Alex and what I can do to you.”

“Yeah, I get it, so why have you brought me back now?”

“Well I was hoping you’d learnt your lesson, also your replacement didn’t live up to my expectations.”

“Yeah, I’ve learnt my lesson, so do you need me right now?”

“I have a job for you to do, the details are all in this folder here.”

“Fine I’ll get on it right away, by the way do I still have my apartment?”

“I’m sure you’ll find it exactly as you left it, oh also there’s one rule you have to obey Alex.”

“Oh yeah, and what might that be?”

“You’re to stay well away from Agent Mulder, you even say a word to him and you’ll be back in that prison to stay permanently.”

“Yeah okay I get it; he seems pissed off with me anyway.”

“How do you know that Alex?”

“I phoned him; however it was before you’d told me I couldn’t.”

“So, what did Agent Mulder have to say for himself?”

“He accused me of forcing him to do things with other people, personally I was starting to think someone had drugged his water again.”

“That’s why you have to stay away from him, Mulder seems to be experiencing some break down or other.”

“Yeah okay, chances are he’d kill me if he saw me now.”

“Right you may go Alex, however I want you to deal with this job later today.”

“I’ll get on it right away.”

“Afterwards you can take some time to settle in and I’ll call you when I need you.”

“Yeah okay, do you want me to call when I’ve done this job?”

“No, I’ll know one way or another Alex.”

Yeah I bet he would, the cancerous bastard would have someone following me and making sure I behaved. Well first I was going back home so I could check my apartment out. Well I had to admit that I was pleased, my apartment looked exactly the same as when I was here last. It felt so good to be back in my own space with my own things, even sitting on my own bed made me feel at home and relaxed.

I threw my jacket on the nearby chair and kicked my boots off, I then sat cross legged on the bed and decided to read the file Spender had given me. So, it was some warehouse job that he wanted doing tonight, shit I hated it and wondered why it was always a fuckin warehouse. Apparently, I had to go with Luis and collect a package that would be there ready for me, Spender knew that I hated Luis and will have done it to piss me off and test my loyalty.

Okay I could do this, especially when I thought of Spender and my plans for him farther down the line. One day I would get revenge on that old bastard and I’d be the one laughing, well unless he died sooner which was a possibility. The man had always seemed strong and carried so much authority with him, yet the man back in that room was just some pathetic old man ready to meet the reaper.

Well I had little to do other than wait, so I made sure my gun was fully cleaned and ready for tonight. Soon I had everything ready I’d need later, however I now had about four hours to kill before Luis arrived to take me to the warehouse. I walked back into the room and booted my computer up, Spender had said I wasn’t to talk to Mulder, however he never said anything about spying on the man.

Mulder had thrown me when I’d called him, maybe I could learn what he’d been up to while I was away and find out why he hated me more than ever. The FBI files were always so easy for me to hack, soon enough I had all the information regarding Agent Mulder and what he’d done over the last few months.

I was surprised to find Mulder had taken over a month off, normally he had to be forced by the high ups to take even a day off. So, I figured something must have happened in Mulders life that was bad, well Spender had said that Mulder was close to having a full nervous breakdown.

I remembered back to the time someone had spiked his water, Mulder was totally off his head and was even prepared to kill me that night. I also remember how Scully had put a bullet in Mulder before he could pull the trigger, maybe for my own health I’d avoid the man for now.

Right now I had a job to do so I remained in Spenders good books, I dressed and grabbed my gun and keys. I was just about to grab my phone when it started ringing, shit I had no numbers stored and had no idea who was calling. I knew I’d have to answer it, maybe it could be Spender himself, or even Luis to say he was on his way.

“Krycek, who’s this?”

“It’s good to have you back in the fold Alex.”

“The English man I presume.”

“Yes, you’re correct.”

“So, what do you want? It’s just I’m rather busy and have places to go, I presume you know I’m back working for Spender?”

“Yes, I’m well aware of that fact, that’s the reason for this call Alex. A lot has changed while you were away, Spender has done some despicable things that you will learn of soon enough.”

“Yeah, I gathered something had gone down, so why call me now?”

“Spender cannot be trusted; the call is to warn you to watch your back Alex.”

“Gee thanks, believe me I’ll be watching my back around all of you.”

“Spender had his own personal reasons for doing what he did, however the man will be dealt with when the time’s right.”

“Is there anything else you want to share with me?”

“No, I just don’t want to see you taken down too soon.”

“Touching, so why all the concern? No one gave a fuck about me when I was sent to that fuckin prison…”

“Alex none of us knew where you were, there was never a reason to suspect anything. I can’t say anymore than that right now, give it time and all will be revealed to you and that’s why you must watch your back.”

“Yeah I’ll keep all that in mind, well thanks for the warning but I have to go now or I’ll have Spender to deal with.”

“Very well, just remember what I said.”

“Yeah okay.”

With that I hung up and pocketed my phone, I’d heard the horn and knew that Luis was outside and waiting for me. The drive out to the warehouse was made in silence as he preferred it that way, it was only as we arrived that Luis even bothered talking to me at all.

“Right Krycek, I’ll wait here and you can go and retrieve the package.”

“How come I have to go and get it?”

“Spender gave you the job Krycek, I was only told to drive you here and take you back home.”

“So, who’s supposed to be giving the package to Spender?”

“Er, I can take it with me.”

It was then that I realized something didn’t add up or feel right, Luis would have known straight away what was meant to happen afterwards and now I was on edge. It was as if the package wasn’t meant to go back with us, I was one who trusted my instincts as that’s what had helped keep me alive for so many years.

“Wakey wakey Krycek, are you actually going to get out of the car and do your job?”

“Yeah, I’m going, so are you just waiting here or out of sight?”

“Oh, I’ll be right here waiting so don’t worry.”

I got out and slammed the car door behind me, and inside I found nothing but darkness. I could just make out a few things and noticed a crate in the middle of the room, there on it sat a small package. Something was off and instinct told me to get the hell out of here, so I walked around the place in search of another way out without facing Luis.

There on the far wall was a door that must lead to another room or even outside, I ran over to it and opened it slowly, I’d never felt so relieved as when I realized it was a back entrance. I’d go out the back and wait a few minutes to see if anything happened and if nothing did, I’d grab the package and return to the car and Luis.

I was no sooner outside when I heard the loud noise as the package exploded, I felt so fucking scared when I realized that it was meant for me. If I’d remained inside that room I would be dead now or severely injured, shit when the time came I would make sure Spender suffered a very slow painful death.

It took me a few minutes to compose myself and get my head together, then I walked around the building to find out what Luis had to say about this. Well that was a fuckin joke, there was no sign of Luis or the car we’d arrived in. Yeah, I bet he high tailed it the minute he dropped me off, I knew that I was right and it was a set up right from the very beginning and Spender wanted me dead. There was just one thing I couldn’t get my head around, why bring me back just to kill me. Spender could have left me in that prison to die, and without protection chances are I’d be dead within a week.

I pulled out my cell phone and called a cab, fuck it as there was no way I’d be walking back now in this state. Right now all I wanted was to get back home and get drunk, also I should call Sam and let him know that someone at the prison is watching his every move.

I was thankful when the cab dropped me off and I was finally back home, also I was even more pleased when the vodka was at the back of the cupboard where I left it. First I wanted a couple of drinks and then I’d call Spender, I bet that black lunged bastard will be pissed when he finds out I’m still alive and kicking.

The drink was to try and calm myself down a bit as my nerves were on edge, however Spender would expect me to be pissed if I survived his little surprise. Personally, I wanted to go straight to him and put a bullet in his sad pathetic body, however that would be far too fast and easy for the likes of him. To be honest I might have let my guard down somewhat, however the warning from the English man had swayed me somewhat before I even arrived at the warehouse.

Well I’d drank nearly half the bottle and I was starting to feel it too, maybe it was time to make that call while I could still control what I said to him. I rang and it went straight to the answer machine so I hung up, it was only on the third attempt that he actually answered his phone.

“Who is this?”

“Who do you think it is?”

“Is that you Alex dear boy?”

“You bastard, shit you tried to have me killed tonight…”

“You survived Alex so stop moaning.”

“Stop moaning! Fuck I just want to know why you brought me back just to kill me.”

“I never intended to kill you Alex, it was a test that’s all.”

“What sort of test?”

“It was to test your loyalty Alex.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Well are you still loyal to me Alex, even after what happened tonight?”

“Yes of course I am, I’ve learnt my lesson and won’t betray you again.”

“Very good, I will be in touch soon with another job for you.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Yes, well make sure you lose the attitude too Alex, the solution is not in the bottom of a bottle.”

“Well I thought I was off the clock right now?”

“Fine I guess I won’t need you so it should be okay.”

“Gee thanks Dad.”

“Alex consider yourself warned, next time I might succeed.”

With that Spender hung up on me, well at least I’d kept the image up and he’d have expected no less of me. I decided to call Sam next, shit it was then that I realized Spender could have the phone tapped or anything. Well maybe I was cleverer than Spender gave me credit for, I got off the bed and went into the closet to find what I would need to make my calls. There at the bottom was a normal plug in phone, I’d had an external line wired up to the apartment without Spender knowing.

Soon I went back into the bedroom and plugged the phone in, well at least I could hear a dialling tone and that was good. I placed the phone on the bed and stripped out of all my clothes, soon I had the vodka and sat on the bed with the phone and started dialling.

First, I’d call Mulder and then Sam, with Mulder I knew the call would be over within minutes as always. Mulder would yell abuse at me and call me names, then he’d hang up on me like I was scum and not worth talking to. I had another drink and then dialled his number, now I could hear it ringing and I realized I was holding my breath.

“Agent Mulder speaking.”

“Mulder…”

“Krycek, what the hell do you want, or are you going to hang up on me again?”

“Mulder, I know you think I’m low life pond scum, yet I get this feeling I’ve pissed you off since you initially started hating me?”

“I can’t believe you’re even asking me that, are you fuckin stupid or something?”

“Mulder just tell me, hell maybe I am stupid as none of this makes any sense!”

“Why don’t you fuck off back to that cancerous bastard, after all it was him you wanted to be with and couldn’t leave fast enough.”

“That was ages ago Mulder, also you’ve known for ages that I work for him.”

“Yeah, I guess I was surprised to what lengths you’d go to for him.”

“I do what I have to do to stay alive, I’m sorry if that disappoints you Mulder.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you destroyed my life.”

“What the fuck, you got over that ages ago Mulder.”

“You made me do things that pleased you, shit you even used me and made me do things so you’d stay.”

“Mulder are you okay, you seem to be talking in riddles and I’m totally lost…”

“Your nothing but a liar Alex and won’t admit to what you did, well maybe next time I see you I’ll put a bullet in that pretty head of yours.”

“Mulder…”

It was at that point I realized that Mulder had hung up on me, and to be honest I’m left far more confused than before I made the call. Mulder had actually called me Alex a couple of times; however, he took great pleasure informing me of what he wanted to do to me. Shit and I knew that a day would come when we’d face each other again, it always seemed like we were meant to remain in each other’s life one way or another.

Well all I could do was avoid Mulder, maybe that way I might stay alive a bit longer and that was good. Maybe he really was suffering from some mental breakdown, that would explain why he thinks things have happened to him. Shit yet it was so typical that I would fit into all his illusions, yeah, the only problem was that he thought I’d done far more to him than I had.

I’m no fool and know I’ve done many things to hurt the man and for that I suffered his abuse, yet something had shoved him over a fragile line and now he wanted me dead. I pulled a piece of paper out of my jacket pocket and prepared to phone Sam, I looked at my watch and realized it was nearly midnight. There was a six hour time difference between here and Tunisia, so I figured Sam would be asleep or up and getting ready for work.

I sat here debating whether to call him or not, then I remembered the reason I was calling the man in the first place. I was making this call to warn him that someone was watching him, that was reason alone to call him straight away without delaying it. I could decide to wait a few hours, then Sam could go to work and wind up dead for all I know. I dialled the number and it just rang; however I was persistent and never gave up until the fifth time with no answer. Shit I knew I couldn’t leave a message as it was too risky, I was trying to decide what to do when my own phone started ringing.

“Who is this?”

“Hey I should be asking you that, well considering you phoned me five times without leaving a message.”

“Is that you Sam? It’s me, Alex Krycek.”

“Shit I didn’t expect to hear from you, are you okay Alex?”

“Yeah as well as I can be.”

“Are you back working with Spender then?”

“Yeah he’s the reason why I called you Sam, Spender knows what happened between the two of us.”

“I’m sure he does Alex, after all he was the one who gave me the orders to use you.”

“Yeah I know that, I mean about us together after I left the prison.”

“What you mean in the bar and…oh shit.”

“Yeah he knows I met you and took you back to my motel, chances are he knows about the park and everything else.”

“Was it the woman that came to collect you?”

“Marita! Shit no, Spender doesn’t trust you Sam and had someone watching every move you make.”

“Have you any idea who it is?”

“Only that it’s one of the men you work with, he’s a guard at the prison.”

“Well that should narrow it down a bit, thanks for warning me as you didn’t have to.”

“We might have gone our separate ways, however that doesn’t mean I want to see you dead.”

“Likewise.”

“Have you managed to speak with that agent?”

“You mean Fox Mulder?”

“Yeah, I thought you were going to try and sort things out?”

“We always had a rocky relationship, that changed while I was away and now he wants me dead.”

“I’m sorry Alex, believe me I really am.”

“Well I can’t change the way he feels about me, I might ask around once things settle down again. Maybe someone will know what happened to make Mulder like this.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t put anything past Spender.”

“Neither would I, however his days are numbered.”

“Just don’t do anything that could backfire on you Alex.”

“I’ll be okay, thanks though…”

“Was there anything else Alex, just I’m getting ready for work and I was in the shower when you called.”

“No there’s nothing else, thanks for that image though.”

“What?”

“You naked and in the shower.”

“Alex call me later if you want, I’ll be here for you if you’re feeling alone.”

“Thanks Sam I might just do that.”

“Okay I’ll catch you later and take care.”

“You too, bye Sam.”

I hung up and suddenly felt far more alone than I ever had, maybe it was time I stopped drinking and got some sleep. I got out of bed and made sure the apartment door was locked, I used every single lock and even the chain. Maybe I was paranoid, however I wasn’t willing to have Spender kill me while I slept. I even grabbed a chair and dragged it back into the bedroom with me, soon it was wedged under the door handle and I relaxed somewhat.

I turned all the lights out and went back to bed, at least I’d know if someone was trying to get in as I’d hear them. Not that anything helped and sleep wasn’t in a hurry to come, the room was full of shadows and it was as if one might suddenly grab me and suck me into the darkness. Shit I was in my thirties and creeped out by something that wasn’t even there, and my mind was working overtime and running different scenarios through my head.

I knew it was only a matter of time before Spender tried again, that was why I had to get plenty of rest and make sure I remained fully alert. I vowed that I’d only relax was that black lunged bastard was six feet under, then I’d have to decide what I’d do then. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay here in America or I’d be an easy target, also I’d have to transfer some funds tomorrow too.

I had plenty of money saved for a rainy day, most of it was stolen from the consortium without them even knowing about it. I think the English man suspected something was amiss, yet for some reason he’d failed to mention it to me or any of his associates. Who knows, maybe none of them would care if I took Spender out, after all the English man had warned me about Spender and to watch my own back.

That was how my life was to become, I was paranoid about everyone and everything. Most of my days were spent with Spender, I was either in his office or driving him around. Oh and there were so many boring meetings that he’d made me sit through, it was as if he was scared to let me out of his sight. The Englishman had even commented with regards to my presence, some of the meetings were meant for the immediate group only and not me. Well after all I was just a lackey and really low down on the list, not that it mattered to Spender.

One evening the English man wanted to talk to me alone, shit maybe I’d read the man wrong and he wanted me out of the picture. I had to admit I was shocked when I spoke to him, apparently all the members wanted him gone within the next three months. The English man said I was the right person for the job, then afterwards I’d be able to take Spenders place within the group.

I knew I had so much to think about, also I’d have to think fast as everything was moving quicker than I expected. That was when I decided it was my life and I had to think about myself, I informed the Englishman that Spender would be dead within the allocated three months. I agreed that I’d do it on one condition, once it was all over, I walked. The consortium was something I know longer wanted any part of, so he could take it or leave it.

The very next day I transferred most of my money to another account, I had some files and sent them to various people to ensure my own safety. If anything happened to me the world would know everything, the consortium would be split wide open and there’d be no more secrets between some old men. The English man agreed to what I wanted, I could walk away and have a long life, just as long as no information was leaked.

So, I would have three months to play this cat and mouse game with Spender, I’d also have three months to try and figure Agent Fox Mulder out. I wanted a life away from the consortium, however I wondered what sort of life I’d have if I were alone. Shit then there was the off chance that Mulder killed me himself, I was so worried about Spender and had forgotten that Mulder wanted me dead too.

So here I were yet again, sat at another boring meeting that I didn’t give a shit about. Spender sat there smoking throughout the entire thing, shit and there was never an escape from the smoke that spewed from his mouth and filled the room. I was surprised that he hadn’t managed to kill himself yet, he always made out he was strong around the other members but I knew different. It was funny how much you learnt just from watching him, and I had to face the fact there was nothing else for me to do.

The meeting dragged on for another hour or so, then suddenly everyone was leaving the room except for Spender, the man just sat there staring at me while he smoked. For some reason I suddenly started to feel really nervous, the bastard knew and even started laughing at me. I was just about to say something when the door opened, Luis walked in with another one of Spenders lackeys.

Luis walked straight over towards me, I was out of that chair within seconds and started backing away from him. I wasn’t going to achieve anything, soon my back was against the wall and there was nowhere to go. I was fucked and couldn’t take on both of them, Luis could overpower me without any help from the other man.

“Luis grab hold of Alex and bring him to me.”

“What the fuck is this, shit what have I done now?”

Spender ignored me and watches as Luis spun me around, soon he had my arm bent behind my back and I screamed out in pain. One wrong move and Luis would break my arm, shit I only had to do this for a couple more months and didn’t need this right now. Luis forced me to walk over towards where Spender was sat, then the bastard kicked the back of my knees so I fell forward.

“What the fuck do you want Spender?”

“That’s a good look on you Alex, on your knees and begging once more.”

“I just want to know what I’ve done wrong…”

“You did something you was told not to do.”

“What, shit I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Okay, how about I mention a couple of names and see if it jogs that memory of yours.”

“Fine, what names, just tell me so I know what I’ve done wrong.”

“How about Samuel, or maybe Fox Mulder, do any of those names ring a bell Alex?”

“Shit of course I know Mulder, also I knew Sam because you sent me to that hell hole.”

“I’m not asking if you know them Alex, I’m asking if you contacted either of them recently?”

Shit suddenly Luis put even more pressure on the arm he held, he then grabbed my hair and yanked my head back while his friend punched me in the stomach.

“You never change do you dear boy, you still lie to me just as you always have.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s always the small details that you miss Alex, I was good and even kept your apartment and bills paid while you were gone, then imagine my surprise when a phone bill arrived.”

“Oh shit…”

“I’d always thought you relied on your mobile, not that it took me long to find the plug socket for the phone.”

“So, I have a phone, big deal. I just don’t understand why it matters that much.”

“I put a trace on the line Alex, well haven’t you kept yourself busy.”

“It was once that was all, I swear I’ve not spoken to either of them since then.”

“I want to know why you called them and I want the truth, you were told to make no contact and have ignored that.”

“You only mentioned Mulder, you never said I couldn’t call Sam or anyone else for that matter.”

“I own you Alex, tell me now why you called Agent Mulder.”

“I heard some rumours going around that’s all, I wanted to see if they were real or if someone was yanking my chain.”

“What rumours would those be Alex?”

“Apparently Fox Mulder wants me dead.”

“So, was there any truth in them?”

“Yeah Mulder told me out right that he wanted me dead, he said he’d put a bullet in me if he ever saw me again.”

“So, have you learnt your lesson yet Alex, are you going to do as I say and follow my orders this time?”

“Yes, look I know the truth now and don’t want to die just yet. At least now I know to avoid the man as much as possible.”

“How about Samuel the guard, what reason would you have to call him?”

“You already know what happened between us, in the prison and once I got out.”

“Yes, I’m well aware, I was starting to think you actually had the hots for Samuel.”

“He was there at the time and we spent some time together, then that night back here I was lonely I guess…”

“So, you decided to call the man who’d abused you and have a chat?”

“It wasn’t like that at all.”

“Explain it to me then Alex.”

“What can I say, I phoned him hoping it would take my mind off Agent Mulder.”

“You always did have a thing for Fox Mulder, however the man is totally off limits Alex.”

“What about Sam?”

“Sam knows the rules and won’t go against anything I say; however I see no problem if it takes your mind off Agent Mulder.”

“So, can I get up now?”

“Luis you can let Alex get up now, I’m sure he’s learnt his lesson and won’t be a problem to myself or my associates.”

Luis let go of my arm and I hugged it close to me, chances are it would hurt for a while considering how far back he’d bent it. I then stumbled and finally managed to stand up, all three of them just watched and no one offered me any help whatsoever.

“Now you can go and wait in the car Alex, I’ll be there in a few minutes and you can drive me home.”

“Yes Sir.”

I went and waited as he’d asked, the car was actually smoke free until that cancerous bastard entered. I never mentioned it or even spoke to the man at all, the journey was made in total silence until we reached our destination.

“You’ve done well Alex and I’m pleased we had our little talk, remain loyal to me and one day this could all be yours dear boy.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry and never meant to cause any problems for you. All I wanted was to know Mulders plans, whether he intended to kill me or not.”

“Well like I said, Agent Mulder seems to be going through a rough time lately. Personally, I don’t think he’d kill you under normal circumstances, however Mulder’s far from normal right now and we both know that.”

“Well I don’t want to take any chances thanks.”

“Good, also you must remember that there’s people within the consortium if you’re lonely.”

“I’m okay now, thanks anyway.”

“Well you can come to me if you ever feel the need.”

Shit had Spender really meant what I thought he meant, was he actually coming on to me in a sexual way. He’d tried many years ago and I’d told him it would never happen, that was why I sighed with relief when he finally got out of the car.

“Be here at ten Alex, I’ll let you know what the job is I want doing.”

“I’ll be here.”

With the Spender shut the car door and walked away, all I wanted was to go back home and take a long shower. I’d swear my clothes and even my skin smelt of smoke, shit how the hell would anyone want to touch him. Fuck the thought alone made me want to throw up, I knew at this rate I’d soon be counting down the days until I were free of him. Once home I took a shower and kept the water as hot as my body would allow, and at least the smell of smoke had disappeared from my skin and hair now. Not that it would last though, come tomorrow I’d be back in that car chauffeuring him around once more.

Well at least the days were getting less and I had to survive it to the end, there had to be no more slip ups regarding Fox Mulder or Samuel. Once Spender was out of the picture, I’d be free to deal with Mulder, maybe until that time I could check out Skinner and maybe even Scully. Someone must know what had sent Mulder over the edge, they’d notice considering they both worked with him.

Tonight, I’d have to try and sleep without the alcohol, especially if Spender expected me over at his place by ten in the morning. At first, I just lay here thinking of ways to end his sad pathetic existence. Spender lived in that apartment on his own and spent most nights there, maybe I’d have to see what sort of security he had on the place.

Well I think sleep eventually came as I was so bored, I was afraid right now to even ring Sam or anyone else for that matter. Plus, I hadn’t expected what happened yesterday, one minute I was in a meeting with Spender and I thought everything was okay. Yeah right, and then Luis had entered and I was down on my knees in front of Spender.

I decided to get this job over with and then see what happened, at this rate I’d have to go pay Steve a visit at the club. I knew that he’d ask many questions and would wonder where I’d been, however all I wanted was someone to take my mind of everything and everyone else. Shit it wasn’t even about sex either, I just wanted to go there for some company, oh and possibly to be punished.

Okay maybe I am rather sick and disturbed at times, to me the violence was just a way of life and I accepted it for what it was. Well I did until Sam had to show me it could be different, now I actually wanted someone that wanted me for who I am. Shit I was so lost in thought and had forgot the time, at this rate I’d only just make it to Spenders by ten if I were lucky.

I finished dressing and grabbed my jacket; within no time I was in the car and on the road again. The traffic wasn’t as bad as I feared, also all the traffic lights seemed to be working in my favour today. I pulled up and pipped the horn, I only had to wait a minute or so and then Spender appeared and got in the car.

“You’re late Alex.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that the traffic’s bad!”

“Next time make sure you’re on time Alex, you can set off earlier if that’s what it takes and just wait in the car.”

“Yeah whatever, so where are we going anyway?”

“The Hoover, I need to have a word with Skinner.”

“Yeah okay.”

Shit I hoped Spender expected me to wait in the car for him, no way did I want to bump into Fox Mulder today. I wasn’t ready to die just yet, hell I didn’t even fancy a beating from him either. We arrived at the Hoover and I found somewhere to park, I even made sure it was near a lift so Spender couldn’t complain.

“Get out Alex.”

“What, why?”

“Alex it’s an order so do as I say or else.”

“Great so I lose either way, you make me suffer if I refuse, also Mulder will make me suffer if I were to bump into him.”

“You worry too much Alex; I’ve already checked on Agent Mulder and he’s not here.”

“What if he comes back for something?”

“Agent Mulder is in Oregon, he’s away for most of the week so get moving.”

I got out of the car and prayed Spender was right, soon we were on the fourth floor and outside Skinners office. Spender knocked and then entered, thankfully he never asked me to follow him inside and see Skinner. I just sat down on the seat outside and waited for my boss, I would visit Skinner when I was ready and had the palm pilot with me.

Both myself and Skinner’s secretary looked up as we heard Skinner shouting, suddenly the door opened and both men appeared in the waiting area. I soon realized that Skinner was pissed off over something Spender had said, then he suddenly noticed that I were sat here. Within seconds Skinner went to hit me, I was off my feet faster than lightning and backed away from the rather irate man.

“What the hell is he doing here?”

“He’s with me and drove me here, this is between us Skinner and no one else.”

“Yeah some things are between us Spender, however it’s my business when someone messes with my agents.”

“Well you can deal with Alex in your own time and not in mine.”

“Get him out of here right now then, otherwise I won’t be responsible for my actions…”

“Very well, come on Alex let’s go.”

I backed out of the waiting room and was back at the lift long before Spender, I never felt safe until I was back in that car and the Hoover was in the distance and far behind me.

“Well you do seem to have a thing for annoying people Alex, so who did you upset this time?”

“I haven’t done anything to Mulder for years, none of this makes any sense at all.”

“Maybe the man was just overreacting, or still hasn’t forgiven you for what you did in the past.”

“Who knows, right did you say you had a job for me to do?”

“Yes I do, I have a folder here with all the details.”

“So, what is it then?”

“You can drop me off home and then read it for yourself.”

“Yeah okay then.”

“You are a fully trained assassin Alex, and it’s time you started using the skills and doing your job.”

“So, this is a hit then? I thought you would have preferred Luis to carry it out for you?”

“I brought you into this group and had you trained Alex, it’s time the other members stopped looking at you like you’re useless.”

“What do you mean?”

“Most think you’re not up to the work, also they blame me for my error in judgement when I took you on.”

“Gee thanks for the confidence.”

“Alex just do the job and prove them all wrong.”

“Yeah okay then.”

I dropped Spender off and parked up in a layby, I wanted to read the file and see just what was expected of me. Well from what I was reading, things should be easy and straightforward with the job I had to do. It appeared that the target was a man of habit and never wavered, he went to the same bar every single night and left at the same time too. Also, the man took a short cut through a couple of back alleyways, so all I had to do was make sure I was there before him and be ready.

I often wondered how people survived with that kind of lifestyle, I wasn’t going to complain though since it made my job far easier. There were no names or any personal information in the file, I would have to rely solely on the one photo I had of the man. Up to now darkness had always served me well and even kept me alive at times, now I’d have to pray the alley had some sort of light so I could see my target. It may be a job and nothing more, however I had no intention of killing some innocent bystander.

Finally, I decided to drive home and prepare myself, apparently the man spent four hours at the bar drinking and talking with some friends, yet he always left alone. So, my plan was to arrive a couple of hours early and watch the man. I would get a good look at him and memorize his features and size, then I would leave the bar before him and hide in the alley.

Once home I showered and changed, I then noticed the light flashing on my answering machine. It turned out that I’d missed a call from Sam and he wanted to talk to me, well at least I’d have something to look forward to when this job was over. No one else had called so I didn’t worry too much, shit I’d realized too late that I hadn’t blocked this number, I was actually surprised Mulder hadn’t tried tracing it.

Well none of that mattered right now anyway, it was Spender that I had to keep happy and he’d call my mobile if he wanted me. I looked in the mirror and made sure I looked okay, tonight I just wanted to blend in with all the other drinkers in the bar. I drove and parked a block or so from the bar, once this was over I could soon run back to my car and be out of here in no time at all. The last thing I wanted was for someone to see my car, also I wasn’t planning on getting drunk until I was back home and on my own.

I was a professional and never drank much before a hit, there were a couple of times I’d have the one drink to calm my nerves. It all came down to what the job was and who the target was, I never gave a shit if the target had done something to deserve what he got. I parked up and locked my car, I then pulled on my gloves and turned my collar up against the wind.

I walked rather fast as the night was now cold and windy, as I knew it would seem like a long wait in the ally at this time of year. For now though I would make the most of the heat in the bar, there was a fire burning at one end of the room and some people had gathered around it to get warm. I sat at the bar and eyed up all the customers, straight away I saw my target sat by the fire.

The man appeared to be in his thirties and looked rather fit too, however chances are the drink would be his biggest down fall and it would help with his demise. I ordered a vodka and drank it straight down neat, after that I remained on coke until it was time for me to head towards the ally. I watched how easy people laughed and talked to each other so freely, to me it was a world I would never know or even be a part of.

The time went by far faster than I thought it would have, soon I was putting my jacket on and preparing to leave. The bitter cold hit me as soon as I opened the main door, and for now I would try and find a sheltered spot to hide until the time was right. Even the jacket and gloves made little difference, the wind cut through my clothes and my face was freezing. I had to move my arms and keep my hands reasonably warm; as I wouldn’t be able to fire my gun if my hands were to freeze up. I still had over thirty minutes and decided to take a walk, nothing too far as I just walked up and down the ally. At least the movement helped warm me up somewhat and I felt a bit better, then I knew the time had come to hide and be ready to do the hit.

I pulled my gun out and kept it ready in my hand, it was at that moment I saw a shadow behind me and then I heard a small noise. Fuck it, straight away I registered that it was a gun pressed against my temple.

“Goodbye Alex.”

In that split second my brain registered what was about to happen, it also registered that the man’s gun had jammed and I was still alive. I never even thought about what I was doing and it was all just instinct, I turned and fired a couple of shots off. The man that was behind me fell to the ground and blood spread out on the ground, I checked his pulse and realized that the shots were fatal.

The man lying dead on the ground was the man I was sent to kill, shit it was a set up right from the start and I was the target. I knew I could figure everything out later, right now I had to get back to my car and get the hell out of here. So I ran as fast as I could and reached my car in no time, then once inside I realized just how close I’d come tonight, also that I should be the one dead in that alley.

Now I was too afraid to even go back home, even a motel could be risky as my clothes had blood on them too. Shit it was just so hard trying to think straight and decide what to do, however it was then that a thought occurred to me. Spender had said that Mulder was out of town for a few days, well I knew how to pick his lock and I had stayed there in the past without him knowing.

My decision was final and I started the car engine, then I drove over towards Mulders at a normal speed so I didn’t get pulled over. I parked my car a block away and walked to Hegal place, soon I’d made my way to the fourth floor and just stood there listening at his door for any noise within. I soon realized that it was silent and chances are he really was away, otherwise I would have heard his television at this time of night.

I could still manage a smile when I thought of Mulder, well thought about what he actually watched on that television of his. I’d had him under surveillance in the past and had watched him on a night, Mulder was a creature of habit when it came to his nightly ritual. Yeah sat on his couch and jerking off to all his porn videos, I’d also seen the ones he retrieved from under his couch and he wasn’t as straight as he claimed to be.

Oh, I’d soon realized that Mulder’s secret fantasy were watching two men fucking each other, shit and all the time he was my partner I’d thought the man straight and had never tried anything. Now Mulder would rather put a bullet in me than fuck me, not that I was in the same league as him anyway.

I opened the door slowly and looked around, the only light was the one that came from the fish tank and it would be enough. I didn’t want someone calling and seeing a light on, at the end of the day all I wanted was to clean up and get some sleep. Also, I’d have to figure out what to do about Spender, only that cancerous bastard knew where I’d be and I was the target all along. I’d lay low here for a couple of days and then return as if I’d done my job, fist though I entered the small bathroom and risked using the light.

My jacket was easy to clean and just needed a wipe, one done I stripped and took a very quick shower so I’d feel clean again. A quick look in Mulders draw revealed some clean underwear and a tee shirt I could use; I was sure he wouldn’t miss them and I’d be okay as long as I took my own home with me. I’m sure it wouldn’t go down too well with Mulder if he knew someone was here, even worse if I left my underwear in his bedroom.

Once sorted I went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, it was only then that I realized just how badly my hands were shaking. Shit I had to get a grip on this and deal with it, as I couldn’t risk showing any kind of weakness when I faced Spender again. Well that was something I could worry about tomorrow; tonight was my own time and I had to deal with it all in my own way. Shit I also had to deal with my vulnerable state, right now I’d break down if someone so much as spoke to me.

I walked over to the couch and sat down, I could smell Fox and knew this was where the man slept every single night. It was also the place where Fox watched his videos and entertained himself, just thinking about that was making me hard and I’d soon need some relief of my own. Thinking about him had always made me come in record time, tonight would be no different as I grabbed hold of my erection. I lay back and closed my eyes, straight away the image of Fox naked popped into my head. Then within minutes I was coming to the image of him fucking me, I’d always preferred to be top and always were unless I had no choice. Fox Mulder had changed all that though, for some reason I wanted him to be on top and take charge of me.

I went to the bathroom once more and cleaned up my hands, I then returned to the room and grabbed the blanket that was over the back of the couch. Straight away I could smell Fox stronger than ever, I had so many thoughts running through my head and knew nothing would come of them or ever change anything. Fox hated me with a passion, if only things were different when I first met the man.

Right now I felt sad, lonely and extremely depressed, yet all I was doing was making it far worse. There were things about the man himself that I could never figure out, the man was gorgeous in every way possible, yet he was also alone. Fox should have many men and women running after him; however, he chose to entertain himself every night and to be alone.

The man had the most amazing brain too, that was one of the many reasons that I’d liked him right from day one. That was why some of the things he did confused me so much too, he was so passionate with his work and the things he loved, yet he was selective when it came to dealing with his enemies. You only had to use myself and Spender to see how he behaved, as I was sure Spender had done far worse to him than I ever had.

Fox would mouth off at Spender and show his distaste for the man, then there was me the man he hated more than anyone. Also, Fox had no problem expressing his hate and turning it into violence. How many times had I just stood there and let the man beat me? I couldn’t figure out why all his hate was aimed at me; well Fox was a complex man and chances are I’d never truly know the answers to my questions.

Finally, I lay down and tried my hardest to get some sleep, I’d actually looked forward to calling Sam tonight and having someone to talk with. Now I was even deprived of doing that, there was no way that I could use Mulders phone and it would have to wait until I return home. I’d turned my own cell phone off, even though I knew Spender would call and I’d have many messages from him. Sleep finally came and there were no dreams tonight, only the nightmares came and eventually forced me to wake up. I was shaking and felt sick, just a nightmare yet it had felt so real and like I was actually living it.

I’d dreamt that I was back in that alley, yet this time I was the one that was shot and dying on the cold concrete below. The bullet wasn’t aimed to kill me straight away, so I was left here to die a very slow painful death and couldn’t handle it. Even upon waking I couldn’t shake the depression it had caused; it took me time to accept the fact I was alive and safe for now.

My biggest problem was not knowing when Mulder was due home, also while here there was no way of accessing the bureau and finding anything out. That was why I decided to re dress and get the hell out of here soon, maybe I could come up with a few detours before returning home and dealing with Spender.

First, I got up and made myself a coffee to wake me up more, then I even went over and fed his fish before dressing. I’d have to find somewhere to grab some food too, maybe the lack of food had something to do with my mood and extremely low energy. Deep down I knew I was stalling and didn’t really want to leave here; I knew once I left it would be back to the life and the boss that I had come to despise.

Maybe I would ring Spender soon and claim that I were injured, that way I could tell him I’ve gone out of town for a couple of days. I guess the hardest part would be playing dumb, I’d have to act as if I knew nothing about the target and that he was actually an assassin sent to kill me. I couldn’t let Spender see my disloyalty to him until I was ready to kill him, and sooner the better would please me right now.

In the end I knew I had to leave now, Mulder was far too unstable and would end up shooting me on sight. Soon I was ready to leave and made sure the place was as I found it, then I went a couple of blocks away and found a small diner. Shit it was so hard looking at the menu, I had to eat to survive and stay healthy, yet the sheer thought of food turned my stomach, that was why I ended up with some toast and coffee.

I found even the toast was hard to swallow, also the smell of greasy food assaulted my nose and made me want to get out of here. In the end I ate a small amount of the toast and finished my coffee, next on the agenda would be to go and retrieve my car without anyone seeing me. Spender would go mad if he knew I were here and was ignoring him, that was why the man had to think I’d gone away.

Well at least my car was where I left it and still intact, I got behind the wheel and just sat there weighing everything up. The smell of freedom was the only motive I had now for seeing this through, I just hoped the English man was really a gentleman and kept his word. I’d decided to go down fighting if any of them stood in my way, without freedom I’d have a reason to kill every single one of them.

Eventually I decided where I would go and started the engine, I had this urge to be around people I knew and would feel reasonably safe while I were there. The club would have people there who’d also be willing to give me the pain I craved, I craved the pain that came with punishment and needed someone to punish me. Yeah, I was fucked up, however I always believed that I was led astray and deserved it for going so willingly.

At the club I’d also be able to relax afterwards and have a few drinks amongst friends. I liked the owner Steve, also Paul who I’d known for many years still worked there. I knew I’d be fine as long as I stayed in the main room and away from the basement, once down there in that room was enough to last a lifetime.

I parked in the car park and noticed how few cars there were here, well I guess it was still early morning and the crowds would come later, now I had to hope that Spender or Luis never came while I were here. I’d heard through the grapevine that Spender never came anymore, apparently, he had his own entertainment waiting for him at home. Most people believed it was nothing more than a lie, they believed that Spender had rent boys calling most nights.

Now that was a scary thought, just imaging someone having to actually sleep with Spender. Shit that was something I really didn’t want to think about right now, however I knew I’d have to be careful when the time came to kill him. I figured the best place for the hit would be his own apartment, there should be no witnesses and the gun would be fitted with a silencer. Now though that wasn’t an option, I still had to wait a couple of months before I could have that pleasure.

Thinking of Spender made me realize I should call him, as once I enter the club he’d be forgotten just like all my other problems. Shit as soon as I turned the phone on it started beeping, there were many missed calls from Spender and I decided to listen to them first.

“Alex, where are you? My men went and cleaned up the alley after the hit, so I don’t see why you had to disappear?”

God the man must think I was born yesterday, Spender still made out like my assassination was never on the cards. I also knew that he’d start to panic the longer I stayed away, that was why I’d waited this long to call the man, even his next message sounded desperate.

“Alex I’ve had enough of all the games you play; you have your phone turned off and nobody knows of your whereabouts. Call me as soon as you hear this message, otherwise I’ll have no choice other than to terminate you. You know far too much Alex and I can’t have you out there up to no good, phone me or you’ll have your very own assassin on your back!”

The man was fuckin deranged, and at the end of the day I’d be doing the world a favour by killing this one man alone. Also, I would be doing Mulder a favour too, Spender would be dead and Mulder wouldn’t have the blood on his hands. Well I knew I should call the cancerous bastard, so I dialled the number and waited, better this way than having a hitman on my tail.

“Spender it’s me Alex, I got your messages and that’s why I’m calling.”

“Where the hell have you been Alex, you do a job for me and then just disappear into thin air?”

“Things didn’t go as planned.”

“What do you mean they didn’t go as planned; my men retrieved the body from the alleyway?”

“The target was carrying a gun and I didn’t see it at first, he managed to get off a shot before I could do anything.”

“What, so were you injured?”

“It was just a flesh wound and the bullet grazed my shoulder.”

“I guess you’re lucky to be alive then Alex.”

“I’m only alive because his fuckin gun jammed, otherwise it would have been me laying in that alley.”

“I see, that still doesn’t explain why you turned off your phone and ignored all my calls.”

“First, I decided to go and get my shoulder sorted out, it was one of those back street clinics that ask no questions. They also gave me some antibiotics to stop any infections, it’s surprising what people will do if you throw some cash at them.”

“And what was the reason for ignoring me?”

“I was just getting to that, look my phone died and there was nowhere for me to charge it.”

“There are such things as pay phones Alex dear boy.”

“Yeah I know, however I found a motel and took some of the pills then I fell asleep.”

“So, am I to expect your presence today, as I do have places to go and people to see?”

“No, I’m staying at the motel for a couple of days, it seems the meds make me really tired and it’s not safe driving while on them.”

“You have two days Alex, then I expect to see you in my office and ready to do some work.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Yes, you will, otherwise everything will be over for you Alex.”

“Is that a threat I hear?”

“No Alex, it’s a promise.”

“Well I guess it’s lucky that I need you, and that I will be there no matter what.”

“Yes, you keep in mind just how much you need me Alex, so don’t go getting any ideas about double crossing me again.”

“I said I know that I need you, that was one time and I haven’t even seen Mulder since then.”

“Good make sure you keep it that way, and I will see you in two days.”

Those were the last words Spender said before hanging up on me, so I decided to turn the phone back off and leave it in the car. I wanted a couple of days off from the world, a couple of days where I could relax and do as I please. I made sure I had my wallet and gun before exiting the car, I’d parked it at the far end of the car park hoping no one would notice it. I then walked over towards the club, and soon I could forget everything.

The club was open twenty four seven, also the staff was on a rotation and changed regular. There was the off chance no one would know me, however Steve practically lived at the club and I knew I’d bump into him sooner or later.

The bouncer was a rather large man dressed all in black, it was only as he turned that I recognized him. Already I was starting to feel somewhat relaxed seeing a friendly face, however I kept my gun with me at all times in case I needed it. Everything normally ran smooth enough at the club and the bouncers where good, just every now and then you’d get someone in that would start trouble.

“Hey look who it is, it’s good to see you here Alex.”

“You too Max, I can’t actually remember when I last came here.”

“I can’t help you there, I’ve had family issues and have been in Canada for nearly a year.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, so when did you come back here?”

“Just a couple of weeks ago, I heard that you still came here and stayed a while.”

“No idea who told you that, I was out of the country too, not by my own choice I might add.”

“I take it you’ve been pissing Spender off again?”

“Yeah something like that, he had me locked up in a Tunisian prison.”

“Shit that’s low, I heard that most of them are a dump and the prisoners are treat like shit.”

“Well you heard right my friend; it doesn’t help when Spender has the guards there in his pocket too.”

“Yeah I can well believe that, I’m just thankful that he no longer comes here.”

“I’d heard that he was entertaining at home now.”

“You heard right Alex; they say that he’s got himself a man that will bend over backwards to please him.”

“Shit how the hell did Spender manage that?”

“Power I guess, maybe some young kid who sees Spender as a way up the ladder so to speak.”

“Yeah well I know all about that first hand, not that I’d have slept with the bloke to do it though.”

“You were lucky and had other talents to offer, maybe this kid sees it as his only way.”

“Well I pity the poor bastard.”

“Well just be thankful it’s not you, I take it you still work for him though?”

“Yeah I’m his fuckin chauffer, oh and occasionally he wants to use me as an assassin.”

“So, what about all the other members?”

“No, I only answer to Spender, none of the others give a shit whether I’m there or not.”

“I guess that’s not too bad then.”

“I can handle myself if need be Max.”

“You always could, you’re like a god damn cat with nine lives Alex.”

“So, people keep telling me, do you know if Steve’s here today or Paul?”

“Steve left an hour ago to get some supplies, he’ll be back later today though. As far as I know Paul’s here, well he hasn’t passed me so he can’t have left.”

“I’d better go and see him then, come and have a drink with me Max when your shift ends.”

“Yeah I’d like that, thanks Alex.”

No problem, I’ll catch you later then.”

I walked through the doors and soon left Max behind, I liked Max and really liked it here at the club around people I knew. Right now though there was no sign whatsoever of Paul either, at least I knew Steve would be on his way back soon. Well I guess all I could do was have a few drinks and try relaxing while I were here, I still felt shook up from what had happened the night before.

I started drinking slowly and just enjoyed my surroundings, soon the time past fast and the place started coming to life around me. All I had to do was wait and drink some more vodka, eventually I’d be drunk enough to do what I came here to do. I knew someone would eventually come up to me and ask if I were alone, that or I’d seek out someone that looked promising.

It wasn’t long before someone sat down on the empty chair beside me, I just carried on drinking as I kept an eye on the man, in size he reminded me of Skinner and was rather big built. I was looking for a master tonight, however I only wanted to be punished and nothing more. The man looked my way and smiled at me, I then smiled back so he’d know I might be somewhat interested in him and what he could give me.

“Hi my name’s Pete, can I buy you a drink?”

“Yeah if you’re sure, I’m Alex by the way.”

“Well it’s good to meet you Alex, are you here alone?”

“Yeah, how about you?”

“Yeah, I’m hoping to meet some people and have some fun while I’m here.”

“Yeah likewise.”

“I find you interesting though, I guess that was one of the reasons I came over.”

“I’ve no idea what you’d find interesting about me, I’m nothing special or anything.”

“Well for one you’re far better looking than most of the guys here tonight, believe me I’m not just saying that either. No, I find you interesting and can’t decide what you would be here for, you appear alone and rather distant from the crowd.”

“I like my own space that’s all.”

“I’m not trying to offend you here Alex.”

“Well I’m not easily offended, just tell me what it is that you find interesting.”

“You act like a submissive, someone who comes here and wants a master to take control and deal with you. Yet you dress more like someone with authority, someone who wants to inflict pain on others.”

“Shit and you came up with that just by looking at me?”

“Yeah, so how did I do then?”

“I mainly wear what I do because of my job, I have to look the part of the boss would fire me. I do things that I don’t like doing, so yeah I come here and want someone to punish me and take the guilt away at the same time.”

“Maybe I could help you out then?”

“What is it you want?”

“I prefer to be the one in control and the one handing out the punishments, however most men just want a light beating and nothing more.”

“What are you saying, that your willing to do it harder than usual.”

“What exactly do you want Alex, you see I can be rather flexible if need be?”

“I want someone who will really hurt me, someone who can make me forget my past and the man that I’ve become.”

“I’m sure I can handle that for you, that just leaves one other matter…”

“What would that be?”

“If you want anything other than the punishment, I just need to know upfront so I don’t overstep any boundaries?”

“I hadn’t really thought that far, would you accept either choice I made?”

“Yes, as that’s only a choice you can make for yourself Alex.”

“Can I just get you to punish me for now, then afterwards I’ll decide if I want anything more?”

“Yeah that’s okay, also I will let you decide how you want the punishment to be delivered.”

“Just give me a minute then.”

I drank the vodka straight down and looked around the room, it had to be something here as I refused to go down into the basement with anyone. It had to be something that restrained me and would keep me in my place, also it would have to be something that could cause immense pain too.

“Right I’ve made up my mind, I want you to use the stocks so I can’t move or fight against you.”

“Very well, shall we get started then.”

“Yeah I guess it’s now or never so to speak, I’ll just go and get undressed so I’m ready.”

“I’ll be waiting right here for you.”

I went into a room that had some lockers, here I would leave all my clothes and have to memorize the locker code. The items were removed one by one until I was naked, shit now I felt so vulnerable as I pulled on the gown that was provided. Finally, I took a deep breath and was as ready as I would be, it was then that I returned back to the room so I could accept my punishment.

“So Alex have you decided what you want me to use?”

“Yeah, I want you to use the whip on me, also I want it hard too.”

“I can be heavy handed at times Alex and would prefer it if you had a safe word, just so I know if it all becomes too much for you.”

“Yeah okay, my safe word is fox.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah positive, don’t worry it’s the name of someone I know and I won’t forget it.”

“Very well, do you want to remove the gown and get into position?”

“I always hate this part, I guess it just makes me feel so…oh never mind.”

“I guess you feel vulnerable Alex, which I gather is something you don’t like to feel. You have nothing to fear as you’re a good looking man, also you appear so different without the clothes to hide behind.”

“Yeah my point exactly!”

I knelt down and soon got in the position that was expected of me, then Pete came around and fastened my head and hands in place I knew there was no backing out of this now, not that I wanted to either.

“So many times do you want to feel the whip Alex?”

“I’ve no idea…”

“Okay I’ll give you ten of the best and then see how you feel.”

“Yeah I’m good with that, can we just get this over with then.”

“Brace yourself then Alex.”

Th whip came down hard and connected with my tender flesh, I screamed out without even realizing I was doing it and then Pete stopped.

“Was that too much for you, I can do it a bit lighter if that’s what you want?”

“No, I want it as hard as you can do it. I want to be punished and feel all the pain you cause me.”

“Very well.”

Soon the whip came down again, however this time Pete never held back no matter how much I screamed and moaned. By the eight one I was literally sobbing from the pain, my backside felt like it was on fire and I knew that I’d be sore for some time to come. First though, I had to brace myself for the final two that I still had to receive.

“Two more Alex and it’s all over, you’ve done really well too.”

I couldn’t even answer the man if I tried, I just prayed that he wouldn’t think I couldn’t handle it and stop. I soon realized he was going to give me the final two despite all the moaning I was doing, shit and I felt them as they hit far worse than the other eight put together. Then I felt the cool wet cloth that wiped my face of all the tears that had fallen, part of me wanted to accept his offer of taking this farther and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask.

I knew I had to remain strong and not give in to my weaknesses, this had to be about punishment alone and couldn’t be anything sexual. At the end of the day this was my life, I did what I did and had to pay for it all. Fox Mulder was the only man that I’d never once raised my hand to, I allowed him to punish me for all the wrongs I’d done to him.

I also liked it when Mulder used his hands too, maybe it was because that was the only way I could ever get him to touch me. Fox Mulder could beat me senseless and I’d just take it, I was surprised he hadn’t tried killing me before now too. Great now my thoughts came back to the Mulder I’d recently encountered, maybe I’d have to decide if I were willing to let him kill me, willing to die by his hand.

My biggest fear was Mulder and what it’d do to him, somehow, I didn’t think he’d kill me unless I fought back. Fox Mulder was the type of man that wouldn’t survive knowing he’d killed a defenceless man. The guilt would eat away at him day after day, until finally there was nothing but a shell of the man left afterwards.

“Hey Alex, are you still with me?”

“Sorry I was miles away.”

“So I noticed, I need to know if you’re okay so I can move you?”

“Yeah, just remove the restraints and I should be okay.”

Pete went around me and soon released me from my restraints, however I just lay there on the mat and felt far too exhausted to even move. I was physically exhausted from my previous two days activity; however, it was my mental state that was starting to crack under the strain of the past few months. First Tunisia and that prison had left me feeling vulnerable, and now back here Spender was determined to get rid of me for good. Suddenly I felt someone wipe a wet cloth over my face and body, it felt good and I soon realized it was Pete that was doing it to me. To be honest I’d expected him to leave the minute he’d used the whip on me and got his own kicks, this all just felt so personal and I was tempted to ask him for more.

The whole idea of the punishment was to leave me feeling like I’d suffered for the crimes I’d committed, getting pleasure out of it would undermine my own actions. Basically, I had to tell him to go and that he could leave me alone now, that or I’d have to ask him to punish me some more and I was unsure whether my body could handle that right now.

“Alex…”

“What?”

“You keep zoning out on me, do you want me to get someone to take a look at you?”

“No, I’ve already realized what it is that I want.”

“Do you want to share with me what it is you want?”

“I want you to really hurt me, I need to feel the physical pain more than anything.”

“Alex I’ve just whipped you and caused you plenty of pain.”

“Well it wasn’t enough…”

Look I’m sorry if you feel that way, however I’m not prepared to hurt you any more as that was enough.”

“For you maybe.”

“Yeah that’s why you’ll have to find someone else.”

“What are you afraid, you’re too spineless to do it?”

“You won’t achieve anything that way Alex.”

“Yeah tell me about it.”

I’d managed to pull myself up off the floor and now stood facing him, not that it mattered as he turned his back on me and started walking away. I guess I saw red as usual and didn’t like it when someone ignored me like that, I grabbed hold of the man and spun him around so he was now facing me. I never even gave in any thought as I punched him in the stomach, I even raised my fist to punch him in the face too. I knew I was no match for the man and never even accepted it until he punched me back, within seconds I was winded and pinned to the floor.

“What the hell are you trying to achieve Alex, are you trying to wind me up so that I really do end up hurting you?”

“Well it worked didn’t it?”

“Shit you’re more fucked up than I can deal with right now, this place is for people to get away from all their daily burdens.”

I turned my head to the side and prayed he’d now leave me alone, I felt really embarrassed now and my nerves were on edge. Oh, and just to make it worse I had him sat over my naked body, the same body that was starting to betray me and react to his presence. Maybe Pete was right and I am totally fucked up, all I could do was turn my face away as the tears fell.

“Stay there Alex while I go and get someone.”

“Yeah whatever.”

Pete soon returned and this time he wasn’t alone either, I should have known that he’d go and get Paul as he was the onsite help so to speak. I’d not seen the man in a long time and didn’t expect to face him looking like this either, now I was just a pathetic heap on the floor.

“Alex I’m out of here, I’ve brought Paul over and he can help you sort yourself out.”

“Yeah, look I’m sorry for what I did Pete.”

“Forget it and just sort yourself out, maybe I’ll catch you here again.”

“Yeah okay.”

Pete walked away and now I was left here with just Paul, in some ways that was worse as I’d known the man for many years. Yet something felt different this time, it was the looks he gave me and the way he spoke to me. Paul was acting like I was scum, not a friend who he was glad to see once more.

“I hear that you wanted more than Pete would give you?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“How about I do it instead, I know you Alex and how much you can take too.”

“Are you sure it won’t be a problem, I guess I’d expected us to catch up over a few drinks and not like this.”

“How about we take it one step at a time, then afterwards we can catch up on everything that’s happened?”

“Yeah I’d like that.”

“So, what exactly do you want Alex?”

“I just want to be punished more than Pete did, the whip didn’t do it for me.”

“Well I don’t think your backside could take any more abuse, so I guess that form of punishment is out.”

“Just tie me up and use the whip again, I don’t give a shit if my ass is already sore. It’s meant to be a punishment Paul and that’s what I need, if you’re not up to it I’ll just find someone else.”

“No, I can do it and you don’t need to find anyone else, can you manage to stand back up?”

“Yeah I guess so, why?”

“We can change location Alex, just follow me and I’ll get you sorted out.”

I followed Paul as he led me to the other side of the room, once there I noticed the frame that looked like a giant X. Paul stretched my arms out and strapped the restraints tight around them, once done he kicked my legs apart and soon had them restrained too.

“Alex, I want to blindfold you and use a gag if that’s okay with you, some people find this way as more of a punishment. I guess their far more focused on the whip if everything else is blocked out, however I’ll leave the decision to you?”

“Yeah go for it, you might be right and it might help in the long run.”

“Good, just hang in there while I get everything ready.”

Soon Paul was placing a blindfold over my eyes and everything became black, then he placed the rubber ball gag into my mouth and I could no longer speak. First, I realized he was rather rough as he’d forced it into my mouth, also I would be fucked if I wanted him to stop. So here I was with my body facing the huge frame, also my backside was now on display to the entire room too.

Oh god and then all was forgotten as I felt the immense pain, I realized that Paul wasn’t going to hold back or go gentle with his punishment. I couldn’t even scream out as it struck me once more, during this time Paul seemed to have gone rather quiet and I felt really nervous now. I was even starting to wonder if it were someone else, had he handed the whip over to someone who enjoyed doing this and who wouldn’t stop any time soon.

The whip came down once more and this time it was across my thighs, I tried moving my arms and body so that he’d realize I couldn’t take much more. Nothing changed and he struck me once more, then the next two were even harder and I hadn’t thought that it could be possible. It was then that I realized I had far more to fear than just the whip, suddenly Paul was right behind me and I could feel his warm breath against my bare skin. 

I wanted to scream out as his hands grabbed the tender abused flesh, the pain was so immense I thought I’d end up passing out right where I was. Shit and then he spoke to me, he was saying things that I didn’t understand and I had no way of telling him he was wrong.

“You deserve to suffer for what you’ve done Alex, shit I thought I knew you and that you were my friend. You’re nothing more than a savage fuckin animal after what you did to that man.”

The whip came down hard once more, every time he’d hit me a couple of times and then he’d stop and that was even worse. Each time he would come up behind me and use his hands to abuse me and his mouth to hurt me. I couldn’t understand what I’d done to make him do this, was he referring to what I’d done to Pete. I’d punched the man once in the stomach, shit he was the one that ended up pinning me to the ground after winding me. Paul was behind me once more and all I could do was wait it out, pray that he’d done all he wanted and would leave me alone.

This time he had his hands around my throat and started to squeeze harder, I really thought he would end up killing me right here and now. Little dots started to swim in front of my eyes and I was losing consciousness, then the hands were gone and his mouth was pressed right against my ear once more.

“Maybe I should drag you over to one of those tables Alex, use you and let everyone watch as I humiliate you. Then again, I could put you inside one of the cages to be used, let someone else come along and abuse you, hell even rape you.”

I knew I was far too weak to stop him doing what he wanted; however I’d put up a fight if he did carry out his threat. I just couldn’t understand what was wrong with the man, shit or did he think this was what I wanted as part of my punishment. I was trapped right here until he decided different, right now I wanted to scream for help and was unable. God, I bet that was the real reason for the blindfold and the gag, the bastard wanted to make sure I couldn’t attract anyone’s attention or get help.

Then he’d moved away a bit and I felt his hand on my wrist, maybe it was just a punishment and it was finally over. All I could do was wait until he unfastened my hands, then my first thought was how I’d remove the blindfold and be free. Then I knew I couldn’t do a damn thing, the bastard had grabbed my numb arms and restrained them behind my back. My legs were released and I was too weak to stay upright now and collapsed to my knees, then I heard Paul shout someone to come over as he needed some help.

I was fucked because everyone here knew Paul and trusted the man, whereas I was a no one really so I didn’t matter. I guess that my little outburst with Pete worked in his favour, everyone here heard how I’d wanted far more pain than they’d give me and now it looked like I was getting it. Hands grabbed me and I was placed upon a table, I could hear Paul telling them that he was only doing what I’d asked for.

Now I was on the table and someone was restraining my legs once more, it also wasn’t too long before my arms were also restrained to the hard table. I was struggling to control my breathing now along with my heart too. Shit at this rate I’d end up dying of a heart attack or something, maybe that was what Paul wanted so it’d look natural.

“So Alex what shall we do now, how about some really strong nipple clamps to get you in the mood. You seemed to like them when you were using them on someone else, hold on I’ll see what we’ve got and I might as well see if anyone wants to watch.”

Fuck suddenly the pain in my nipples was unbearable as Paul squeezed them tight, yet they still became hard and then the pain intensified. I knew straight away that he’d attached the clamps, not that I could do anything to stop him, even when his hand started moving even lower down my body. Now I was really praying that this would end, I couldn’t take much more and I’d killed men for far less than this.

I decided right now that friend or no friend, tonight Paul had literally just dug his own grave. First, I’d make sure that he suffered and felt everything that I did to him, payback would be a bitch and revenge would be sweet. Who the hell was I trying to kid, the man was my friend for years and always being there for me in the past, chances are I’d give him a good beating and let him live?

I was an idiot when it came to people I knew, maybe it was because I didn’t have enough friends to lose them. Even so, the man would have one of the most severe beatings of his life, I had to make sure people knew that they couldn’t hurt me and just walk away afterwards. Shit then I realized that he’d grabbed my cock and was trying to make me hard, okay maybe he was actually succeeding at it too. Oh god and now the bastard was placing a cock ring on me and I knew I’d suffer, well that did seem to be his main goal when it came to me.

“Alex I know you can hear me, just hang in there a bit longer so we can have some more fun together before I make you come in front of all these lovely people.”

Great now I knew the bastard was really getting his kicks out of this, I just feared what his idea of fun was now after everything he’d done to me. For a few minutes there was nothing at all, I couldn’t even hear or sense anyone near me and it freaked me out somewhat.

Shit that was when I tried to scream as the pain burst across my chest, I knew that this was different somehow and he was no longer using the large whip. My brain registered that it was some sort of mini flogger, however I knew that this alone could cause plenty of pain and damage if Paul felt that way. Especially when he used it against my clamped nipples, yet the screams had to remain silent and within thanks to the fuckin gag he’d used on me. Oh my god, now he was starting move it even lower and was using it against my stomach. Over and over he did it, however it was never in the same place twice and he also varied the strength he used too.

Then there was nothing once more for a few minutes and I started to relax and breathe again, I soon learned that letting my guard down was a big mistake. I also learned the true reason why he’d made my cock hard; it was really sensitive and he knew I’d feel the flogger far worse. Paul used a fair amount of strength as he brought it down over my erection, he even made sure he caught the tip and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop him or the pain.

Then he moved even lower and used it against my thighs, the bastard purposely made sure it caught my balls every single time. I was struggling to breathe now; I was panicking and knew I couldn’t hold back any longer as the tears came. Shit now it was even worse for me, as it was a big mistake to start crying when your laid on your back and gagged.

Nothing at all seemed to slow him down or make him stop, it was as if he were possessed and I had no idea what I’d done. Fuck this, maybe I might just kill him after all, well that was if I survived what he was doing to me. I even started to zone out and knew my mind wanted to escape the pain, however Paul was soon there slapping my face and bringing me back here with him.

“I want you to feel everything Alex, for you to see what true pain is. You pass out again and I’ll make it ten times worse for you, are those tears I see Alex? Well crying never helped the man you abused, so believe me your tears won’t help you either.”

I wanted to ask him what the fuck he was talking about, I’d abused no one and back in Tunisia I myself was the victim. I figured he wouldn’t know anything about my time there or what happened, well that was unless Spender had told Paul a complete pack of lies. Not that any of that mattered right now, as there was no way I could even give him an explanation for what I’m supposed to have done.

Now it was becoming far harder to deal with the pain my body was in and I wanted it to end, now the flogger was gone and he was using his hands instead. He made sure he grabbed my balls tight once more and squeezed, then afterwards his hand moved to my erection and he started playing with it. It wasn’t what I wanted right now, shit I didn’t want to be abused and raped by someone that had always being there for me and was also a friend.

“Well it appears you’ve managed to attract a crown Alex, and you yourself know what these men want.”

Oh yeah I knew exactly what they wanted, it was to see me humiliated as I came and then they would also come all over me afterwards. I felt sick and was struggling not to throw up, I knew I couldn’t risk throwing up while he had me here gagged and restrained, shit I would end up choking on my own vomit at this rate.

I could feel as Paul started jerking me off, the bastard also kept pulling on the nipple clamps and caused even more pain. Then I knew it was all over as he removed the cock ring and forced me to come, I hated it when my own fuckin body even betrayed me along with my friend.

“Look you’ve managed to make the crowd all exited Alex, now they will decorate your body and show their appreciation to you. How does it feel Alex knowing what they’re doing, to have done to you as you do to others?”

I was far too gone to even care about all of them now, even more so when Paul started using the flogger on me once more. This time there was no holding back either, I could feel the thin leather cutting through the tender flesh and I gave in to the darkness once more.

I had no idea how long I was out; however I could hear many voices around me talking. No, it wasn’t actually talking that they were doing, I could hear someone shouting really loud as the others became quiet. Then I heard Paul raise his voice too and start shouting back, it was only then that I realized the other man was Steve.

“Paul what the hell are you doing, shit you’ve taken things way too far and no customer can expect that here. You fuckin idiot, shit I’ve just realized who it is under all that dirt and blood.”

“He asked for everything he got and more.”

“I’m sure Alex never asked for you to go this far, it’s not like him at all and you’re supposed to be his friend.”

“You can’t agree with what he did the last time he was here?”

“No, I don’t agree with it Paul, however that doesn’t mean I’d abuse him like this.”

“Yeah well that’s you, I figured he deserved a taste of his own medicine.”

“You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t kill you after this.”

“I’ll take my chances; Alex and I go back many years and our friendship is strong.”

“Yeah maybe not as strong as you think, Alex can be volatile at the best of times.”

I could hear them as they argued, yet all I wanted was to be free of this table and also this fuckin club too. Then I felt as the table was moved and I was wheeled somewhere else, then someone was removing the gag and blindfold. I opened my eyes and saw Steve looking down at me, I was surprised that he actually showed some concern towards me.

“Alex can you understand me, I just want you to listen and pay attention okay.”

“Yeah okay…”

“First, I’m going to get you somewhat clean, you’ll remain on the table and restrained for your own safety. The chances are it’ll sting and even hurt you when I clean you, it’s also for my own safety too so you don’t start fighting me.”

“I just don’t understand any of this?”

“I’ll deal with you first Alex, afterwards you can get some rest and then we’ll talk in my office.”

“Good, shit I just want to be clean and for all this to go away.”

“It will soon, come one then let’s get you under the shower.”

Steve was rather gentle as he used the shower to clean me, he’d soon removed all the traces of the men that had used my body to pleasure themselves. My mind was a totally different matter though, how the hell could I ever forget what Paul had done and let others do?

Steve started using a cloth and gently cleaned my cuts, once done he freed my hands and asked me if I could sit up, then he started working on my back too before speaking to me.

“Alex I need to check your backside too, can you turn and lay on your stomach if I free your legs?”

“Yeah I’ll try.”

“No heroics though or rushing off to get revenge on anyone, your body needs to rest first.”

“I promise I’ll behave; I couldn’t move far even if I wanted too.”

“Good as your health is far more important right now.”

I did as Steve asked and lay down on my stomach as he cleaned my ass, at one point I’d had to grip the table so I didn’t turn over and hit Steve. I knew that the man was doing his best to help me despite everything that had happened, yet some cuts were deep and I felt it more as he applied some cream to them.

I could remember Paul asking if Steve agreed with what I’d done last time I was here, then Steve had said no he didn’t agree with it. I still hadn’t a clue what I was supposed to have done, however I was surprised Steve was helping me if I’d done something to piss him off too.

“I’m going to try and dry you off a bit, once your well enough and healed somewhat you’ll be able to clean up properly. For now I’ll give you a room that you can use and will be safe, as you might want to refrain from wearing any clothes right now.”

“Yeah and thanks for this Steve, I’m just so tired now and need to get some sleep.”

“Can you walk or would you prefer to stay where you are?”

“I don’t think I can move that much even if I wanted to.”

“Lay where you are then and I’ll get you out of here, we have a couple of side rooms and you can use one of those.”

Soon Steve led me out of the shower room and down a corridor, he then unlocked a door and went into the room to turn a lamp on. I then watched as he came back over to me and removed the sheet, I felt nervous when I realized he was looking me over and then he felt my forehead.

“Well Paul certainly did a number on you.”

“Yeah he’d be better off doing my job, even I couldn’t do that to someone I cared about.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Later Alex, right now I need you to stand up so I can get you in bed.”

I did as Steve asked and finally managed to stand, even the few steps to the bed took it out on me and I was exhausted. I lay down and Steve covered my body with a thin sheet, which I had to admit I was thankful for as my body couldn’t withstand anything heavier.

“This is my room that I use when I can’t be bothered to go home, you’ll be safe here Alex and no one will bother you.”

“Thanks for this.”

“I want you to take a couple of painkillers and then rest, afterwards we’ll get some fluids in you along with some food.”

“Yeah okay, so how soon will it be before I can talk to Paul?”

“Alex you’ll need a couple of days to rest and get your energy back, look take the pills and go to sleep.”

“Yes boss.”

I did as Steve asked and took the pills, he then left the room and I was now here alone with just my thoughts of today’s events. Spender tries to kill me and now this on top of everything else, Steve was right and I would need to be my old self before I faced Paul and dealt with him. Right now I had no idea what I’d do to the man, I meant theoretically I’d let Spender do far worse to me and live.

Paul was my friend and that would make my decision far harder, first though I would need to know what made him hate me in the first place. Slowly my eyes started to close and I knew I couldn’t fight sleep anymore, maybe if I gave in I’d heal faster and could deal with it all. In some ways I’d be glad when this ordeal was in my past, dealt with and no longer something that I had to think about. For now, my thoughts turned to Fox and I fell asleep with a smile on my face and surprisingly no nightmares.


	4. Chapter 4

Book Two Part Two Alex

I woke sometime later to find myself alone and the room in darkness, for now I was happy just to remain in the warm bed and relax my aching body. As I knew that Steve was right and it would take a couple of days to partly recover, however the marks from the whip would take far longer than that to fully heal. Then there was mentally, I was strong and knew I’d come through this just like everything else in my life.

That was a joke, I only came through everything because I buried it deep inside my mind and tried to forget it all. Lately things were harder and I had no idea why I was struggling now, I was finding it hard to bury what everyone had done to me over the years, maybe that was why I wanted to see Spender dead and fast.

Fox Mulder was the only one that remained a constant in my life, the man could do exactly the same as Paul did to me and I’d forgive him. Also, I’d never intentionally hit the man back, that made the man a curse and a threat to my own life. I was too easy led when it came to Mulder and I’d follow him no matter what, most times I only got as far as his fist and I accepted that.

I heard the door open and someone walk over towards the bed, I just closed my eyes and would pretend to be asleep until I knew who it was. Just then the bedside lamp went on and I struggled to open my eyes against the light, once I opened them I saw Steve stood beside the bed watching me.

“How are you feeling Alex?”

“A bit better, how long was I asleep?”

“A good ten hours, I figured it was time to get you to eat and then check your wounds.”

“I don’t think I can eat too much right now; my stomach still hurts from the blows I took.”

“Can I take a look Alex?”

“Yeah okay.”

I pulled the sheet back as far as my groin and revealed my stomach and chest to him, I knew it had to have some marks because of the way Steve gasped. I also realized why I’d never woke needing the bathroom, someone had very kindly fitted me with a catheter.

“You’re sporting a few angry bruises there Alex, how about I get you some soup and a drink?”

“Yeah that would be good, is there any chance of a coffee.”

“Yeah, that might make you feel worse though Alex.”

“I’ll be okay.”

I lay there in the bed thinking about things while I waited for Steve, I did wonder if Paul had hung around to see what damage he’d done to me. Soon Steve returned with the coffee, thankfully he’d also thought to put the soup in a mug so I could drink it.

I felt sick with just the first mouthful of soup, however I had to force it down as I’d not ate for some time now. Plus I wanted to get well so I could deal with Paul, also I wanted the truth and for him to tell me what I’d done to warrant this.

Steve returned sometime later and cleaned all the wounds up and applied more cream, once done he gave me some more pills and told me to sleep. I soon realized that I was sleeping far more than normal, it was after the fourth time I woke that I realized why, Steve wasn’t giving me pain meds, instead he’d given me some sedatives so I’d remain asleep and heal faster. For that I was thankful, I had far too many enemies out there and couldn’t remain here in bed, if Spender knew I’d be a sitting duck and an easy target.

On day three I could sit up and felt far better than I had in a while, I convinced Steve to let me remove the catheter and use the bathroom on my own. My legs were weak at first and I thought I’d collapse on the floor; however, I persevered and made my way to the bathroom. I remained on my feet and started pacing the bedroom, I just wanted to gain my strength and feel okay. That was also the reason why I’d forced myself to eat everything he gave me, by the end of day four I was ready to take a long shower and dress in my own clothes.

Steve had brought all my clothes and belongings to me, he then left me alone so I could sort myself out. I was just relived to have my gun back just in case Spender tried anything, and I guess it made me feel whole and more like my old self. Now all I wanted was to talk to Paul so I could return home, I wasn’t ready to face Spender until all the cuts were fully healed. For now, I would get Steve to put some feelers out and see what Spender was doing, also see if he could find out if anyone had mentioned me at all.

Later that day I finally left the bedroom and walked back into the bar, Steve was there and as for Paul he was nowhere to be seen. Not that it mattered right this minute, I just wanted a drink and to see how Steve planned to handle the talk with Paul.

“Steve can you get me a double vodka?”

“Should you really be drinking so soon Alex?”

“I’m only having the one, also I want to know when Paul’s planning to show his face again.”

“I’ve had a word with him and he’ll be over soon, it’s you I’m more worried about Alex.”

“Why are you worried about me?”

“Well it’s more your temper that worries me, I don’t want any violence while you’re here and on my property.”

“Fine, I give you my word that I’ll take him outside should the need arise.”

“So, you are planning to hit him then?”

“Steve, I have no idea what will happen or what he’ll say, but I promise to keep my temper under control.”

“Well I hope you do, just remember the two of you were supposed to be friends.”

“Tell that to Paul, hell he was the one that attacked me.”

“I will be having words with him too.”

“Good, look just cuff me to the table if it bothers you that much.”

“I might hold you to that Alex, then again I might just cuff the pair of you until this is dealt with.”

“That might be a good idea Steve.”

I remained at the bar for some time just watching people come and go, I’d substituted the vodka and was now drinking coke so I could be in control when Paul showed up. It must have been a good couple of hours before Steve came over to me, he pulled me aside to where it was quiet and whispered to me.

“Paul’s here and in my office.”

I was up and on my feet in seconds, I’d teach the bastard for what he’d done to me. I just made it to my feet when Steve grabbed me, he then held me in a tight grip and refused to let me go.

“You said you’d behave and control your temper Alex.”

“Well maybe I lied…”

“I’ll only take you to him if you let me cuff your hands behind your back.”

“Fine have it your way, I just want to see what the bastard has to say for himself.”

Steve found some cuffs and soon had my hands restrained; only then did he lead me towards his office. Straight away I noticed Paul watching me as I entered the room, not that he spoke as Steve led me over towards a chair.

“Right gentlemen, firstly you can remember that I’m here and in the middle of you both. I want you to talk to each other as civil as possible too, also I want no violence of any form whatsoever. Right I’ve said my peace and will remain silent while the two of you talk, Alex you might as well get the ball rolling.”

“Hey I was the victim in all of this and just want to know what the hell I did wrong, I thought that we were friends and that we were there for each other too?”

“You were my friend once Alex, yet how can I call someone a friend and watch while you abuse someone else.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, you know what I do and what I’m capable of doing. I don’t understand why you suddenly grew a fuckin conscience; I haven’t changed as all and you know that.”

“You’re sick Alex and need some sort of help, I wouldn’t have treated an animal like you did that man.”

“You fucker, you were quick enough to abuse and beat me. Shit you practically raped me and think you can justify what you did?”

“I only did what you yourself are capable of Alex.”

“I’ve never abused someone like that, also don’t ever accuse me of being a rapist again or you’ll leave here in a fuckin box.”

“Jesus half the club saw you do it, even Steve knows what you did and he’ll never forgive you for it either.”

“Okay I’ve come to the conclusion you hate me, yet I still don’t understand when this happened. Also, there’s something else too, if I did it where’s the victim?”

“It happened just a couple of months ago, also afterwards you left with him and planned to carry on with the torture.”

“No fuckin way did I do that, I haven’t even been here for months.”

“What a fuckin lie, you need to work a bit better on your stories Alex.”

“If you don’t believe me ask Spender, he’ll soon tell you where I was for the past few months.”

“Spender would just lie and you know that.”

“Okay there’s another way, I’ll give you a number and you can ask them where I was.”

I handed the number to Steve and asked him to make the call for me, I watched as he asked who he was talking to and then listened. I could tell by his expressions and knew what Sam must be telling him, I just hoped that he’d believe me and realize I’m not capable of that sort of abuse. The phone call lasted another ten minutes before Steve hung up, however then he just sat there for a while deep in thought.

“Steve what did Sam tell you, it’s my life that’s on the line here and I need answers.”

“I’m so sorry Alex that we blamed you, Paul it turns out that Alex was in a prison in Tunisia. He was held there for over four months in total and it was Spender that had him sent there.”

“Jesus Christ how the hell can this be true, we saw Alex and talked to him while he was here. So, can you explain to me how that’s possible Alex, you’ve worked for Spender for years so it seems highly unlikely he’d send you to Tunisia.”

“Spender sent me away because I stole some information from him and gave it to someone else, I was sent to a place where he controlled the guard in charge of me. I was given to the guard to do with as he saw fit, there I suffered abuse at his hands until I became really sick and he had to leave me alone. Soon afterwards I tried to escape the prison and the guards, when I returned something changed and I formed a friendship with the guard.”

“So, did he just free you then, as that seems a little convenient wouldn’t you say?”

“No, he couldn’t work against Spender, however he did keep me safe until Spender wanted me to return to America. The man Steve just spoke to was Sam, he’s the guard at the prison in Tunisia.”

“So just say for one minute I believe you, how the hell do you explain the man that came here as he was like your twin. Shit I’m not just talking about looks either, the man acted and talked like you, shit he even had your memories of our past.”

“There’s only one way that Spender could pull something like that, my double had to be a clone that Spender had created to replace me.”

“I’d heard about that when the consortium members came here, however I just presumed it was all hear say.”

“I assure you Paul that the clones are very real, I just had no idea he’d created one of me. That makes me wonder why he brought me back from Tunisia, he could have left me there to die and no one would have been any the wiser.”

“Maybe he wanted to kill you himself, that or make sure you were really dead.”

“Yeah that sounds about right, Spenders tried to kill me twice since I arrived back in America.”

“Great, this is all so fucked up. Alex you’re my friend and I abused you because of what I thought you’d done. I should have come to you and asked you why you behaved like that, now because of my stupidity I’ve lost a friend.”

“Paul I’ll admit that I wanted to hurt you in return and make you suffer, yet how can I blame you after what you thought I’d become.”

“God I’m so sorry Alex, I know nothing I say can change what happened.”

“How about Steve removes the cuffs and you explain it all to me and make me understand what the clone did.”

“Yeah I can do that, thanks for a least giving me this chance to explain.”

“It’s okay Paul, just start at the beginning and take it from there.”

“Yeah okay, it started when you brought a man here and wanted access to the basement room. You told us that Spender had ordered it and it was just a job, at first you kept him down in that room and no one really knew what was happening down there. We knew that you were trying to break the man and that it was tough going, then you brought him up here and decided to humiliate the man in public.”

“That doesn’t even sound like how I’d behave.”

“At first, we just thought it was the pressure from Spender that made you like that, then we saw what you were capable of. You whipped him and even fucked him with your fist on one of the tables, you abused the man and tortured him, afterwards you left him there so the others could come all over his body.”

“Please tell me that’s where it ended.”

“No, I’m afraid not, you had his nipples pierced and forced him to wear a collar. One time you attached weights to the clamps and cock ring, afterwards you made him crawl on his hands and knees while you lead him by a leash.”

“Shit I feel sick just at the thought of it all, no wonder you thought I deserved what you did.”

“It didn’t end there Alex; you beat him on numerous occasions and even let Steve use him too.”

“Shit what the hell do you mean by that?”

“You let Steve fuck him with his fist too, then you forced him to his knees and ordered him to give Steve a blow job too. I guess things got out of hand when he refused to do it, after that you dragged him into one of the cages and left him there for the night to teach him a lesson. Then things really went wrong, someone got him out and wanted to play with him, he thought you were still trying to teach him a lesson so he refused. The man forced himself on him and brutally raped and beat him, it wasn’t a light beating either. You came in the next day and kicked off, that resulted in the man disappearing at the clone’s hands.”

“God please tell me that was it?”

“No, you took him back down to that room while you made your plans. You claimed the next step was phase two and you’d be moving in with him, you claimed you owned him and this was his new life from now on.”

“So, I actually left here with the man, I guess that could help me locate the clone. Well that’s if Spender still has him watching the man.”

“We felt sorry for the man and kept our ears open for gossip, from what we can make out the clone was ordered to abort the mission and to return back to Spender. From what I heard the man took it really bad, I guess he was taken with you and you’d even turned his life inside out just for you to walk out on him.”

“Well it’s better that way than him remaining with a clone.”

“Yeah that would be true if he’d known it was a clone, however he was like us and believed it was you Alex that did that to him.”

“Shit I’ve already got enough enemies to deal with, maybe he eventually got over it after a while.”

“I heard that he was pissed off and determined to find you, also he has all the resources of the FBI at his hands too.”

“What the hell have the feds got to do with this?”

“Shit you really won’t like this Alex.”

“What, just tell me what you know.”

“It was a fed that Spender ordered you to kidnap and break.”

“Fuck…”

“Yeah you could say that.”

I couldn’t believe that Spender had orchestrated this whole thing and everyone believed it was me, now I had to ask the name of the victim yet I was afraid of the answer I’d receive.

“Does this fed have a name at all?”

“At first, we weren’t sure if it was his real name, that or just some name you chose to call him. All I know is that you referred to him as Fox, then now and again you called him Mulder.”

“Oh shit I’m so fucked now.”

“Why do you know him?”

“Yeah you could say that, we were once partners back when I was in the FBI. Things turned out bad for us when he realized I worked for Spender, he hits me every time we bump into each other and he hates me.”

“I presume the feelings mutual and Spender knew you hated him, maybe that’s why he used a clone that looks like you.”

“If only it was that simple, I fell in love with Fox Mulder and Spender knew that. Fox Mulder was also the man I gave the stolen information to; he’ll have done it on purpose to make Fox hate me even more than he already did.”

“Have you ever spoke to him and told him how you feel.”

“I called him when I returned to America, he told me that he would put a bullet in me if he ever saw me again. He was really angry and hostile to me, shit I couldn’t understand what I’d done to make him suddenly feel like that.”

“Well I guess you know now; he sees it that you used him once more and then just left him afterwards.”

“Yeah well Mulder won’t let this go now, basically I’m fucked unless I can get some proof of the clone and its existence.”

“Is that something you can do?”

“I’ve no idea, chances are Spender destroyed it when he brought me back here. Without that or any proof I’m a dead man. Shit how could Fox think I was capable of doing that to him, now I have to deal with him and Spender both wanting me dead and out of the way.”

“So, what will you do? You’re still my friend Alex and I don’t want to see you get hurt. I myself have caused you enough pain to last a while, look I’m here if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Yeah, I’m glad to still have you as a friend Paul, it’s not like I really have that many. All I can do is try and explain it all to him if I see him again, I’m going home and getting some more rest before I do anything else. Right now I haven’t a clue about anything, and I can’t do anything right now that would make Spender suspicious of me.”

“Yeah you don’t need him on your back right now.”

“There’s a plan and I’m just waiting to execute it, once Spender is dead I can walk away from the consortium and the life that goes with it. I guess all I can do for now is to try and avoid Fox, I will deal with him when Spender’s out of the picture, hopefully by then I’ll have some sort of proof that the clone existed.”

“Maybe you can get the guard to confirm you were in another country.”

“Fox wouldn’t believe him; he sees everything through shuttered eyes when it comes to me.”

“Surely he has more enemies than just you?”

“Yeah Spender sets him up and uses him all the time, yet none of the anger is ever aimed at him.”

“Is it possible that Fox Mulder actually liked you and that’s why he took the betrayal hard?”

“I’ve no idea, how was he when you saw him here with the clone?”

“I can’t really say to be honest, there were times when the man fought you and rebelled against what you wanted. Then there was the other side of him too, he looked like he’d do anything you asked of him, so he either liked you or was well and truly broken.”

“Well it’s time I headed home, tomorrow morning I’ll have to report in with Spender and let him know I’m back. Then there’s the Englishman too, I’ll have to see if he’s decided when he wants Spender killed.”

“So, are you sure we’re good Alex?”

“Paul I’d have beat you too for behaving like that, so yeah we’re good. Just one thing concerns me though with all this…”

“What’s that?”

“The clone must be good to fool you and Steve, also it seems to have fooled Mulder too despite I’d never hit him in the past.”

“Yeah true, just take care of yourself Alex and don’t leave it so long next time.”

“I won’t.”

I drove home and checked out my apartment, I just wanted to know whether I’d had any visitors while I were gone and to check no one was waiting for me. I still couldn’t believe that last time Spender had grabbed me in my own home, surprises of that kind just pissed me off. I even ran a scanner over stuff in each room and checked the phone for bugs, it turned out that the place was clean and no one had even been here.

I took a long shower and then looked closely at myself in the bathroom mirror, at least Paul had caused no major damage and it was starting to heal nicely. A few hours sleep and I’d be ready to face Spender once more, all I had to do was avoid Fox until my job was over and done with. Soon I’d climbed into bed and was fast asleep, I guess my body was still trying to deal with all that it had suffered. Even so, I still woke and felt far better than I had in days, it didn’t take me long to get myself sorted out and leave here.

I drove over to where Spender had his office and entered, well the smell of smoke that lingered meant he was somewhere around or had just left. I walked towards his office and bumped straight into Luis, who I had to admit looked rather pissed off with me.”

“Watch where you’re going next time, what the hell are you doing here anyway Krycek?”

“I’m sure you’re aware that I had to lay low after my last job, hell maybe you knew who the target was and what he did for a living?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“The man in that alley was no armature, however it’s the past and I’m here to see if Spender wants anything doing?”

“He’s in his office, however I don’t think he’ll have any use for you right now.”

“Fuck you Luis, he can tell me himself if he doesn’t need me.”

“Have it your own way Krycek.”

“Don’t worry I will.”

I carried on past him and walked towards Spenders office, the minute I opened the door I was engulfed in a cloud of smoke. My lungs didn’t like having to breathe that shit in and I started coughing, yet Spender just carried on with his mission to pollute the room.

“Alex dear boy, what brings you here today?”

“I came to see if you needed me today or wanted anything doing?”

“I take it your break has worked well?”

“Yeah I just wanted to get my head sorted out, I guess my last job didn’t go quite as well as I planned.”

“Well that’s all in the past now Alex, however now I’m the one that must go away to deal with some business of my own.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Two or three days should be adequate enough.”

“So, what am I supposed to do, I take it that you don’t need me to go with you?”

“No, it’s a personal trip, you can see if anyone else needs you to do anything for them. Other than that, there’s nothing else for you to do, you can have a couple more days to do as you please. You should like that Alex as you’re good at doing what you want.”

“Fine I’ll go see the Englishman and see what he has to say.”

“You do that Alex; I’ll message you when I’m on my way back so you can pick me up at the airport.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Oh, and one other thing Alex, I have eyes and ears everywhere so behave. I will be notified straight away if you pay Mulder a visit, you’ll be punished harshly if you disobey a direct order.”

“I’ve already told you that I’ll stay away, Mulder wants me dead so he’s the last person I would visit right now.”

“Good keep it that way then.”

Well it looked like I might have a few days with nothing to do, well that was unless the Englishman wanted something doing. Right now, he wasn’t around so I’d have to drive over to his place and pay him a visit, most of the time the man was okay and didn’t give me anywhere near as much shit as Spender did. Straight away I saw his personal car on the drive, also there was no sign of his driver.

I knocked at the door and waited, soon it was answered by the man’s personal butler. The Englishman was rather set in his ways and liked to stick to his British upbringing, I knew he had family and an even bigger house back in his home country. I was miles away when the butler returned, he then led me to a large study where the English man was waiting.

“Sit Alex, so what brought you out here?”

“Spender’s going away, he sent me here to see if you wanted any jobs doing.”

“No, I’m afraid not, right now I have everything under control.”

“Yeah okay, have you had any more thoughts with regards to Spender?”

“All in good time Alex, take a couple of days off and do something for yourself.”

“Like what?”

“Go get drunk and have some fun for a change.”

“Yeah, I could do with a few drinks, oh there was one other thing…”

“What would that be?”

“Do you know anything about Spender having a clone?”

“No, nothing at all I’m afraid. Spender tells us very little these days and is hardly even here, I just know that he’s seeing someone and spends a lot of time with them.”

“Okay it doesn’t matter.”

“Alex you have to tell me if you know something, Spender has to be watched at all times so we know what he’s doing.”

“It’s maybe nothing, I just heard that he’d made a clone of me.”

“Not to my knowledge, I will keep my ears open and thank you for the heads up.”

“Yeah no worries, I guess I should go find a bar or something and get drunk.”

“You do that and have some fun for a change.”

Okay so it was official, no one wanted anything doing and I had a couple of days to do with as I pleased. I decided that I would go out and have some fun, first I would drive home and then get a cab to some bar or other. I knew it would be easier using a cab instead of my own car, as today I planned to get blind drunk.

Once back home I changed clothes and made sure I had my wallet, then afterwards I left a few markers so I’d know if anyone called or broke in. I asked the cab driver if there were any decent bars around here, as I’d never checked out the local establishments in all the time I’d lived here, I guess my line of work wouldn’t allow you to get totally hammered and out of it.

I entered the place and found an empty stool right at the bar, it would be harder for anyone to attack me if I were right where people could see me. To start with I ordered a double vodka and took in my surroundings, the place looked clean and well furnished, also most of the customers were loud and dressed in suits. The bar tender soon informed me they were regulars and it was a working lunch, he assured me it would be a bit quieter once they left. True to his word they left and it was far more peaceful, also I noticed that it was rather empty too. Well it was still early and maybe things might pick up a bit given time, part of me was hoping for some company tonight.

For some reason I felt so alone right now and the depression was starting to set in too, maybe I should have gone back to the club to see Steve and have a few drinks there. No not tonight, I vowed that I wanted to go somewhere with no ties to the consortium, not that I could really risk taking anyone home with me anyway.

I’d done that once before in the past, picked up some stranger and then taken them back to my place once we were both drunk. Don’t get me wrong, we both had a great time and the sex was fantastic. It all changed once I started to sober up somewhat, I guess at first, I felt depressed because it was some stranger and not Fox. Then the man fell asleep in my bed and I just lay there wide awake, I became paranoid and was sure someone had sent him to kill me.

I knew that drink was not the best thing when you felt depressed, however what did it matter as I spent most of my life feeling fuckin depressed. Also there was Fox, a man that would never be mine no matter what happened and it was time I accepted that fact. My mind was working overtime, also I was now drinking the vodka like it was water. Maybe it was time to go get a cab and call it a night, as I could always get the driver to stop off at a liquor store on the drive back.

Shit I walked outside and the fresh air hit me full on, when the cab arrved I could barely stand and struggled to get inside the car. The driver thought I was mad when I asked him to make a stop on the way back, he then muttered something about how it would be my funeral. Well I no longer gave a shit what he or anyone else thought right now, I was at that stage where you think your invincible.

I paid the cab off and walked into my building, then I literally staggered towards the lift and had to think what floor I lived on. Okay maybe I was totally drunk now, not that it stopped me opening the vodka once I were inside. I kept the bottle with me as I struggled to undress, as soon as I was naked, I grabbed the phone and took it in the bedroom with me.

I was lonely and wanted to talk to someone, I figured maybe I could call Sam and see how he was doing. It wasn’t like I had anyone else, also it wasn’t sexual or anything like that. I dialled his number and just sat there while it kept ringing, it was only after five or so rings that Sam answered.

“Sam it’s Alex.”

“How are you Alex?”

“Not too bad, thanks for telling my friend that I was in Tunisia and not here in America.”

“Yeah I did wonder what that was all about.”

“Spender had a clone take my place while I was away, he also had it do some nasty things to Fox Mulder.”

“Shit, so how come you sound drunk then?”

“Spender doesn’t need me right now, hell or even for the next few days so I went out drinking. The cancerous bastard never said much, he just told me that the trip was personal and nothing more.”

“Well I know where he’s going.”

“How can you know that?”

“Maybe because he’s coming here to see me.”

“What the hell for, is there something you’re not telling me Sam?”

“Spender normally comes out here once a year, as far as I know it’s just a regular visit.”

“Did you speak to him at all.”

“Yeah he called me from America and said he’d be setting of shortly.”

“Did he mention me at all?”

“Yeah, he just said that he wanted a full report of your time here. Spender said he wanted to see where we kept you, also he wants to know exactly what happened to you and if anyone else touched you.”

“So, what will you tell him?”

“Basically, that only I touched you, also I’ll show him where you stayed along with the place I punished you.”

“Just watch your back Sam, Spender’s not someone that can be trusted or taken lightly.”

“Yeah I’m well aware of that, however I detected something else while we spoke.”

“Such as?”

“I got the impression that it turned him on, knowing that you were here and that someone was abusing you.”

“Knowing Spender he perhaps did, he tried it on with me years ago and I told him where to go.”

“I can’t say I blame you Alex, hell even I’ll be glad when he’s back on a plane out of here.”

“Yeah that’s… shit what’s the word. Just give me a minute…”

“Alex how much have you drank?”

“Not enough why?”

“Your speech is becoming slurred; hell are you still drinking even after going out?”

“Yeah I grabbed a bottle on the way home.”

“It’s sounds like you’ve had enough Alex.”

“I just hate coming back here alone, well it wasn’t like I tried.”

“Like you tried what exactly?”

“I tried talking someone into coming home with me.”

“Hmm so how did that go?”

“They said I was far too drunk and should go home to sleep it off.”

“Well if you ask me that was good advice, you can’t just keep taking different people back home with you.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because one day you’ll end up taking the wrong person home, then you’ll end up abused or even dead.”

“Okay I get your point.”

“Alex I’d come over in a heartbeat if I lived over there.”

“Yeah well I guess that’s the story of my life…”

“I still think you need to deal with Fox Mulder too.”

“That won’t ever happen, Mulder sees me and I’m a dead man.”

“Try sending him a letter of something explaining that it wasn’t you, maybe he might believe you.”

“Yeah right, Fox Mulder would rather believe in loch ness monster than anything I have to say.”

“How about you get some sleep and figure it out tomorrow, everything will be easier once your sober.”

“Yeah I guess, will you call me after Spender leaves.”

“I can do that if it’s what you want Alex.”

“Yeah then I’ll know he’s on his way back, also I’ll know that you’re safe and he never harmed you at all.”

“Yeah I’ll catch you later then, get some rest and take care of yourself Alex.”

“Yeah you too.”

I hung up and moved the phone onto the bedside table, I then just lay there thinking about what the clone had done to Fox. It made me feel sick just thinking about how it abused the man I love, to degrade him like that and force him to do so many things. Then worse was thinking about what Fox saw, every time he looked at the clone, he believed it was me doing that to him.

To make it worse the clone had even loaned Fox out to Steve, then left him there for someone to come along and rape him. Shit within seconds I was up and off that bed, I only just made it to the bathroom before I threw up. Maybe Sam was right after all and I needed some sleep, I knew I’d make Spender pay for what he’d done to Fox alone.

I washed my face and rinsed my mouth out, once done I made my way back to the bed and lay down. I’d ran out of vodka anyway, so tonight Sam had no worries about me drinking all night long. I’d spent the last few hours drinking plenty and nothing had changed, I was still paranoid and alone.

Sleep came and so did the nightmares, once again I was back inside that prison in Tunisia and someone was forcing me down onto a bed. They were parting my ass cheeks and forcing themselves inside me, I soon realized all I could smell was smoke and knew exactly who it was. Then things changed, someone was grabbing my arm and restraining it to the bed. My brain screamed out that something was wrong and I started to panic, my eyes flew open and there stood Fox Mulder hovering above me.

“What the fuck…”

I never even managed another word; something was shoved in my mouth and I was silenced. It didn’t take me long to figure out my current predicament, Fox had used a ball gag on my mouth and had me cuffed to the fuckin bed. Worse was when I looked up into his face, I had to turn away fast as the man looked possessed.

“There I was thinking you’d be happy to see me again; well things have changed now Alex and it’s time to play my game. I guarantee here and now that I will pay you back for using me, you took me apart and destroyed me just so you could have some fun.”

My mind was racing ten to the dozen as I watched Mulder grab my other arm, shit within minutes he had that one restrained to the bed too. I just couldn’t understand how he’d found me and got one over on me, it was now that I wished I hadn’t drunk so much earlier on. Maybe if sober I’d have been more alert, that way I would have heard him enter and it would never have escalated to this point.

“You look rather confused and frightened Alex; well you were the idiot that decided to call my from a registered phone number. I work for the government; shit you must have known that I could trace your number within no time at all. I traced it the minute you hung up on me, however I decided to keep an eye on you and see what you get up to.”

Well he was right and I am a fuckin idiot, I should have known that Mulder would trace the call and come up with this address sooner or later. Right now, I had to get my breathing under control or I’d have a heart attack, it was just hard as I’d noticed Mulder put a bag on the bedside table. My mind was working overtime and I had to know what was in there, Mulder was capable of anything when he was in this state too.

Right now, I was his target and I had a feeling I’d suffer for what he presumed I’d done to him. With the gag I hadn’t even had a chance to plead my innocence, Mulder believed me to be the one that had used and humiliated him. My mind went back to the club and what Paul had done to me while I was there, he’d done the same as what he believed I’d done to Mulder.

So now I had him here and there was no escape for me, would Mulder now torment me and hurt me in that same way. Well there was always that way, also the man had threatened to put a bullet in my head too.

“So Alex, how’s life now you’re back with that cancerous bastard, having his hands all over you and fucking you like you were just a piece of meat. I just don’t understand how you can let him do that to you, does power and the consortium really mean that much to you Alex?”

I shook my head and tried to plead with him using my eyes, shit if only he’d remove the gag and let me have my say in all of this, As for Spender, I had no idea what the hell Mulder was talking about. Firstly, I would never let Spender touch me in a sexual way regardless of the rewards, also if I had Mulder it didn’t make any sense.

Shit suddenly Mulder slapped me hard across the face to get my attention, I hadn’t even realized that he was talking to me and I’d zoned out on him. All I could do was glare at him, yeah well some things never change and I should have known Mulder would hit me sooner or later.

“You will pay attention Alex; you used me and turned my whole life around in such a short time. I’d accepted the life you gave me and suffered everything just so you’d stay. You told me that you would never leave no matter what, then Spender shows up and you go running straight back to him. The bastard whipped you so hard and reduced you to nothing, he even raped you and left you with scars that would last a lifetime.”

Great so I thought what had happened at the club was bad enough, now I learn that a lot more went on inside Mulders apartment and even involved Spender. So, if there was really a clone it meant Spender was sicker than I thought, was this all because I’d refused to let him touch me and also refused his advances towards me. So, in a way Spender got what he wanted, the bastard must have created the clone so he could fuck Mulder over and use it sexually for his own pleasure.

Now I felt really sick just thinking about that, I was surprised Mulder hadn’t questioned the clone himself or it’s motives. I’d never raised my fist to Fox Mulder, yet he accepted a version of me that was suddenly really violent towards him. I was so lost in thought with regards to the clone, however I soon turned to the present as Mulder pulled the sheet from me.

“Well you sleeping naked makes my job easier Alex, let’s take a look and see how many scars that cancerous bastard left you with.”

Mulder grabbed my thigh and pushed my lower body sideways so he could look at me ass, no way was I just lying here and letting him touch and abuse me like this. I waited until he was close enough and kicked out with what force I could mange, my foot connected with his thigh and caused him to stumble backwards. That just made him mad and he moved back towards me, the bastard then grabbed hold of my balls and squeezed.

“Try that again and you’ll suffer far more pain than you ever have, then afterwards I’ll put a bullet in that pretty head of yours. You will lay still and do exactly as I say, do I make myself clear Alex?”

All I could do was nod my head as the pain engulfed me, also it didn’t help that my cock seemed to like the pain, that or it was having Mulders hand upon me. I knew straight away that Mulder had seen my reaction to his touch, however he just laughed at me and then resumed his previous task. I felt his hand on my thigh once more, this time I didn’t fight the man as he rolled me onto my side. God then I could feel his warm hands on my ass as he squeezed it, he then slapped me hard and moved me so I was on my back once more.

“Where the hell did they go Alex, I saw myself what damage Spender did to you. You were so damaged and he’d literally shredded your skin, scars like that don’t just disappear. Shit how stupid can I be, you’re his little toy and he wouldn’t want to see you all damaged and marked like that, I bet he had someone like Jeramiah Smith heal you. Yeah that would be something Spender would do, nod your head Alex and tell me the truth.”

What the fuck did he want from me, hell I had a feeling I’d suffer no matter what I told him with regards to Spender and what he did. Mulder’s one of them that only believes what pleases him, and even more so when it comes to me. Okay he claimed that he only wanted the truth and nothing more, I lay there and shook my head to let him know it wasn’t Jeramiah that healed me.

“What do you mean, if not Jeramiah it had to be someone else like him. Right I will remove the gag and you can tell me the truth; you have ten seconds to tell me the truth Alex before I replace the gag.”

How the hell could I explain myself and all this in ten seconds, I wasn’t even sure myself about everything that had happened while I was in Tunisia. I swear Spender will suffer for what he did to me, I was having to pay for everything he made that clone do.

“Right you’ve had time to think, just remember you only have ten seconds.”

I watched Mulders face as he lent so close to me, however he was only there to untie the ball gag and I had to think fast. What the hell could I say that would pacify someone like Mulder, in the end I only managed one sentence and prayed it gave him something to think about.

“Clone, it was a clone and not me…”

“Shit you’re even more pathetic than I gave you credit for; I should have known someone like you would try and weasel your way out of it. You abuse me and let others abuse me too, then you have the nerve to lie your way out of it all and take no responsibility. I was there Alex; I saw you and I also saw Spender with you too. Everyone knew it was you, shit you made me loose myself and everything else that meant something to me.”

All I could do was watch as Mulder sank into a nearby chair, he then covered his tear stained face with his own hands so I wouldn’t see. It broke my heart to watch him cry, especially when I lay here and was unable to help him in any way. Mulder remained that way for some time and all I could do was wait for it to pass; I knew soon enough Mulder would be taking it out on me yet again.

After some time Mulder became quiet as the tears finally stopped, then without even speaking he got up and started rummaging around in the bag he’d brought with him. Then suddenly he had a smile on his face once more as he pulled something out, however the smile was not one of love but hate. Then it only took a few seconds for my brain to register what he had in his hands, fuck the bastard had pulled out a pair of metal nipple clamps.

One look at Mulders face and I knew it would hurt a lot, the man took great pleasure opening them and snapping them shut. Well he sure was making a point of how efficiently they closed, however now he came near me and would let me see just how well they closed. I used my free legs and started to kick out at him to avoid the clamps, however Mulder soon pulled off his own tie and managed to restrain one of my legs.

“You’re only making this harder on yourself Alex, shit there must be something around here to use on your other leg.”

Mulder noticed my clothes on the chair, mainly he was interested in my jeans and the belt that was threaded through them. The bastard then calmly grabbed hold of my ankle and soon restrained it to the bed. He then casually picked up the clamps and carried on where he left off, all I could do was close my eyes as he started rubbing my nipples until they became hard in his hand. Oh god and then I wanted to scream as he forced the clamps on to each of my nipples, now the tears rolled down my face and onto the pillow below as he pulled on them.

“It’s only what you saw fit to do to me Alex, shit and then you had the nerve to say I was nothing more than a slut and a whore. Well from here it looks like a certain part of your body likes it, that gives me an idea.”

Once more Mulder went back to his bag of tricks, while I lay here dealing with the pain alongside my traitorous cock. Soon he was back and had something else to torture me with, in no time I realized it was a fuckin cock ring and I knew what his intentions where.

“Hmm how many times did you force me to wear that Alex, you tortured me for hours on end. Well I guess now it’s my turn, maybe I might fuck you before I leave and have some fun with you. No, I haven’t forgotten what you said and how you hate anyone topping you, well tough shit as you’re mine to do with as I please.”

Mulder forced the cock ring onto my erection, then the bastard purposely started rubbing the weeping tip with his thumb. Then my body arched up off the bed as he grabbed my balls tight once more.

“What a pretty picture you make, it’s a shame my friends didn’t look as good after you fucked them all over. I know you enjoyed using the palm pilot on Skinner and liked watching him in pain, you’d do anything to get what you want and you have to pay for that Alex. To you everything was just a game as you made everyone bend to your will, so much power Alex and then you threw it all away to be with Spender.”

I still had no idea what Mulder was talking about, I hadn’t used the palm pilot on Skinner in months. Shit it was then that it dawned on me, either the clone or Spender must have the palm pilot and was using it on Skinner. This was fuckin ridiculous, I had to find a way to talk to Mulder, I had to let him know that none of this was me either. I’d never made Mulder suffer like this, also I’d only used the palm pilot as a very last resort.

“Do you know what I hate you for the most? Not Scully or even Skinner, I hate you because you made me want you, you even made me love you. Oh I know I was an idiot and you told me that you didn’t love me, however you made me like the life I had with you and then you walked out. Do you know how I felt to have my boss find me like that? You left me cuffed to a fuckin bed, in the end I think I passed out from the blood loss alone.”

Jesus now I was left wondering what I’d done to him that night, well or should I say what my clone had done. I knew Mulder was back in his own world, I could tell by his face alone that he was reliving it all again. The man had an eidetic memory and would remember every single detail, also he would remember all the pain and suffering and the face he saw was mine. Soon he started talking and I knew he was struggling to keep it together; I’d have to pray he didn’t end up killing me and then possibly even himself.

“I have to wonder if anything you told me was the truth, like how you came to America when you were twelve, also how you ended up having to work for that cancerous bastard in the first place. Not that any of that matters in the long run, right now my only decision is whether to kill you or not. You see I’m totally fucked up now thanks to you, well you always did manage to leave me confused didn’t you? I don’t want to live alone anymore Alex. Do you know that I still kneel naked in that same spot every night because of what you did, praying that one night you might come back to stay? Then if I kill you it would change too, could I live with myself knowing it was me that ended your life.”

Mulder was right on the edge and now he had no one to pull him back, I noticed he said very little with regards to Scully. Where the hell was she in his time of need, she wasn’t the type to just give up on him or the bond they shared. Suddenly there was another noise and it distracted me along with Mulder, well it didn’t take too long to realize it was my phone. Mulder stood there watching it like it was an alien or something, then his faced changed when the answering machine kicked in.

“Alex, we need to talk, I’ll call back later and try to catch you then.”

“So, I see you’re working for the Brit too, well you’d sell your own mother to get what you want. Hell, I bet you’re playing them off one against the other now.”

Mulder came over to the bed and ran his hand up my leg, then he reached my groin and his warm hand started stroking my erection causing me to moan. Then the bastard started stroking it even harder knowing I couldn’t come, then he was laughing at me and tugging on the nipple clamps.

“You’re such a slut Alex, god and the noises you make are such a turn on too. Do you remember what you did to me Alex? You attached a chain from the nipple clamps to the cock ring, then you made me crawl on all fours like I was some animal or your pet. Like an idiot I let you do it, you see back then I had my reasons and knew you’d stay. Now all that has changed and all bets are off, that’s why I plan to make you suffer before this all ends.”

God within second Mulder forced a couple of dry fingers deep inside my ass, all I could do was scream silently as he pulled them out and then repeated it. There was no pleasure whatsoever in his actions and it fuckin hurt, yet Mulder just carried on as if I were enjoying it all, then the bastard went and purposely rubbed against my prostate.

It was like a bolt of lighting had shot through my whole body, every part of me was tingling and felt like it was on fire. Then Mulder did something I wasn’t expecting, he used his other hand and made light work of freeing my erection from its imprisonment. He removed the cock ring and threw it on the floor, then within no time at all his mouth was on me.

Mulder deep throated me as he fucked my ass with his fingers, it was all too much and within seconds I came within his warm mouth. Now I no longer had any strength left at all, so I watched Mulder as he swallowed every drop and then licked his lips, so many times I’d dreamed of Mulder doing this and actually wanting me, yet I knew I’d never have him and this was the most I’d ever have. Right now, he could put a bullet in me and I wouldn’t object.

It appeared Mulder had other ideas, he just calmly sat in the chair once more and was watching me like a hawk. He sat like that for some time as I drifted in and out of sleep, my body was exhausted along with my mind. Funny how things can suddenly change though, how you can be asleep one minute and wide awake the next. Mulder had pulled out his gun and was right in front of me once more, I heard him remove the safety and feared in this frame of mind he’d pull the trigger.

“You look so frightened Alex, ha maybe you have good reason to fear the afterlife and where you might end up.”

Mulder ran the gun along my cheek, moving from one to the other, and in some ways I was actually glad that I were gagged. I had an image in my head of Mulder forcing it into my mouth, then pulling the trigger ending my sad pathetic life. Then the gun was gone from my face and was moving lower, Mulder ran the gun over the nipple clamps and pressed down as he went. Fuck then I wanted to scream as the gun moved lower and reached my groin, it seemed Mulder took great pleasure playing with my now flaccid cock.

I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath, soon my head felt really light and little dots appeared in my line of vision. At this rate I really would have a heart attack, even more so when I realized my cock was responding to him and the gun.

“Alex you might want to breathe, I don’t want you passing out on me just yet.”

Mulder moved to the end of the bed, then he actually surprised me as he removed the restraints from my ankles, hell I was even more surprised when he freed my wrists. Mulder stood back so he wasn’t within my reach, he then aimed his gun at my chest and spoke in a tone so I’d know he meant every word he said.

“I want you to turn over Alex and re cuff one of your wrists, do it fast or I’ll put a bullet in you. Attempt to attack me and I’ll only maim you, then afterwards I’ll take great pleasure as I slowly empty my gun in you.”

I shuffled my body and did my best to roll over and cuff myself, I felt like such a coward for not fighting back and willingly restraining myself. Not that I had too long to think about my actions, Mulder soon had my other arm and my legs restrained to the bed once more. Now all I could do was lay here and wait to see what his next move would be, I hated the fact that he was behind me and that I couldn’t see him or what he was doing.

Soon though I felt the gun as Mulder ran it up and down my spine, and I knew in this position alone that he could cripple me for life if he so chose. Then the gun was moving even lower as Mulder ran it up and down my legs, then he suddenly stopped that and was running it along my backside. Then I couldn’t hold back or fight the pain that overwhelmed my mind and body, in one swift movement Mulder had forced the gun deep inside my ass.

“You might want to lay still Alex, just remember the safety’s no longer on. I know that all of this is hard for you, after all you prefer inflicting pain rather than receiving it. Well you’re going to learn that fuckin with me was your biggest mistake yet, believe me cancer man’s a fuckin pussy compared to me.”

I had no doubt about anything that Mulder said, I knew he could do so much to me and it wouldn’t end until he was satisfied, also the man had already caused me so much pain and I was scared of him now more than ever. Even more so when Mulder started moving the gun in and out of my vulnerable body. I knew I was sobbing now and couldn’t stop the tears no matter what, I’d suffered so much but this was the man I loved and had wanted for so many years. Maybe that was why I felt like I did, the longer Mulder hurt me the more I just wished he’d end it all.

“Now who’s the slut, I bet you get off on all of this really… Well you sure as hell got off when you were doing it to me, you used me and for that I hate you and want to make you suffer.”

I’d never felt so relived as when Mulder removed the gun and put it down, however my relief was soon forgotten when he untied one of my legs. Mulder had removed the belt from my ankle and now stood there with it in his hand, it was the way he folded the belt and tested it against his own hand that worried me so much.

“Be ready Alex, because believe me when I say you’re going to feel this.”

The belt came down fast and hard across my backside, however Mulder wasn’t the type to do thigs by half. The belt came down over and over again and I knew I couldn’t take much more of this now, also my fuckin nipples and fast growing erection were pressed against the bed and also caused me pain. At this rate I swear I’d go mad before Mulder ended this, then once again I could hear that monotone voice as he started talking.

“Lay there Alex while I get a cloth to clean you up.”

Yeah well it wasn’t like I could fuckin go anywhere was it, also why bother cleaning me if he just wound up killing me anyway. I would have said this to Mulder and let him know that there was no point, however the man still had me gagged so couldn’t voice my concerns to him.

I lay there and felt the warm cloth on my backside, I had to admit that it felt really soothing and eased the pain somewhat. Right now I really couldn’t understand the man that was Fox Mulder, the man had so much intelligence and could still be so fuckin stupid at times. All I wanted was to grab hold of him and shake him, just make him come to his senses and realize it couldn’t be me that had done that to him. Make him realize that I could never hurt him in that way, tell him that I loved him and wanted him. Mulder moved and was soon knelt by my head and was watching me closely, then he reached out and gently touched my face and stroked my cheek. I was coming undone fast and I knew it, then Mulder spoke and it shattered everything inside me into tiny pieces.

“Why did you have to make me fall in love with you Alex, especially if you had every intention of returning to him? I could live with you never loving me, I just want things to go back as they were. I want you there giving me orders and punishing me if I did something wrong again, I’d accept it all just to have you back with me Alex.”

It was at that moment I realized Mulder wasn’t in love with me at all, he’d fallen in love with the clone and liked the way it actually treats him. Deep down I knew that was something I could never be, hell I’d never even hit him when he beat me. To hear Mulder say he loved me meant so much, but then in the next breath I was crushed and something he didn’t want. I was a dreamer and knew I never stood a chance with a man like him, now I was even farther from the man he truly wanted.

“I could never understand you Alex, even right back from that day you entered the bullpen and I was forced to work with you. In all honesty back then I despised you with your gelled hair and ill fitting suits, then suddenly you changed and it was like you’d become someone different from the Alex Krycek I knew. You became someone dark and mysterious, god and you turned me on so much with the leather and tight black jeans. I guess that was one of the reasons I couldn’t keep my hands off you, I could never understand why you never hit me back though.”

Mulder never shut up once he started talking, however I was surprised to find out that he’d liked me right back then. He was just far too close to me now and I knew he was trying to profile me once more, that was why I knew this was all wrong and Mulder should see that. He was destroying the man I was brick by brick as he knelt here, so close and speaking to me like he actually gave a damn about me.

“The day you let Skinner have me I’d wanted to die, well a part of me already did die when I realized how little I meant to you. It was never love and never would be, not when you could let someone else use me like that. At the start I’d feared that room in the club, then after a while I started to feel safer there than anywhere else. It was later when I realized it wasn’t the room that made me feel safe, it was you Alex that made me feel that way.”

God, he had to shut up and move away from me, this was way too much and now the tears really flowed and I couldn’t hold back. I was struggling to breathe with the fuckin gag in my mouth, not that it mattered to Mulder though. Finally, he stood up and moved back over to the chair, he then sat there staring at me.

I knew that he wasn’t actually watching me, Mulder was lost and was in a world of his own. Ha, knowing my luck he’d be thinking of new ways that he could use to torture me. In the end I turned my head the other way and didn’t want to see him like this, I knew that the smallest of things could torture the man’s soul for years to come. Then suddenly I felt a hand grab hold of my hair and yank my head up from the bed, god no his face and that look bore through my heart like a fuckin jackhammer.

“Don’t you ever turn away from me Alex, you’re mine now to do with as I please or until I say it all ends. Are you ready to die Alex, what no answer am I meant to take that as a yes? Well let’s see if that’s true shall we, let’s play a little game shall we where you wear my collar. Well I don’t suppose you’ll have one lying around so I’ll have to compensate, I know what I can use.”

Mulder let go of my hair and moved away from me, then he returned and I so wished that he’d just stayed away from me. Mulder wrapped the belt around my throat and threaded the buckle, then bit by bit he started pulling it tighter. It wasn’t long before I could feel the pressure against my Adams apple, yet Mulder was showing no signs of letting it go

“So are you ready to die Alex? Believe me I wouldn’t rape you while you’re alive and like this, however part of me has to wonder how necrophilia feels.”

My god the man had totally lost it now, he wouldn’t force himself on me now, but he’d consider fucking me once I was dead. God and then I wondered if he’d actually do it to me, especially when he started pulling on the belt once more. Then I felt as he climbed on the bed and sat over my tender backside, even the cloth from his clothes made it feel even worse. Mulder just laughed and pressed his mouth close to my neck and bit me, then his hand worked underneath me and he grabbed my cock.

Oh god the man was getting off on this and his sick thoughts, also it looked like he was going to force me to get off on what he did too. It wasn’t long before I had an erection and wanted to come, oh god and then Mulder was pulling the belt tight at the same time and I was becoming desperate now, dots appeared and I knew I was right on the edge and would soon fall over.

“Come for me Alex, show me what a slut you really are.”

Mulder bit down once more on my shoulder and pulled the belt even tighter, then within seconds I was coming all over his hand and the bed. Only then did Mulder let go of the belt and leave it where it fell, I was just so boneless and now had no energy to even think.

“You see I knew you were nothing more than a slut, you’re also so hot and such a fuckin turn on.”

I could hear as Mulder opened his own pants, then he leaned forward and rubbed his erection up and down my backside. At this moment all I wanted was for the man to fuck me more than anything else, before he realized I wasn’t the man that he’d fallen in love with and had once wanted.

“I want you so much Alex, however I won’t rape you and I know how you feel about someone fucking you. Right now, you’re such a fuckin temptation and I really need to come more than anything else.”

Great Mulder and all his fuckin morals, I knew that he’d just jerk off and use my body to fuel his own fantasies. Soon I knew by his breathing that he was really close and this would soon all be over with, then Mulder screamed out my name as he came all over my ass. Then the bastard just got up and slapped my backside hard, as he moved away from me and I could hear him fastening his trousers and re dressing.

Once dressed he came and removed the belt from around my neck and threw it on the floor, then he just stood there when he realized I was crying. I felt like such a fuckin idiot right now too, Mulder was the last person I’d want to see me in this state.

“I really don’t understand all the tears Alex, you did far worse to me and even enjoyed what you did.”

I vigorously shook my head at the accusations he was making towards me, this just seemed to piss Mulder off and he grabbed hold of my hair once more. At first, he raised his fist and I braced myself for the punch that would surely follow. Then Mulder s fist fell, yet the hand in my hair forced my head back as far as it could possibly go. I then moaned in agony as Mulder sank his sharp teeth into the tender flesh, then he pulled back and I noticed the blood as he wiped it away.

“This is what you do to me Alex, I thought this had ended when you took control of me and started punishing me. Without the punishment I want to hurt you again, maybe it’s the only way you’ll ever let me touch you now?”

Then Mulder suddenly looked up as he heard the phone ring, he then stood there frozen as he waited for the answering machine to do its job. I feared what Mulder would do if it were Spender calling me, worse would be him calling to tell me about a job he wanted doing. It was then I heard someone speak and realized it was the English man, now Mulder would have to decide how he’d proceed with his task at hand.

“I called you earlier Alex and you’ve still not called me back; I need to speak with you tonight as it’s urgent. It concerns a mutual acquaintance of ours, right as you’re not picking up, I’ll come over and will be there within the hour.”

“Great, so it looks like I have less than an hour Alex to decide your fate.”

Mulder had returned to the chair and sat there watching me, I knew the man was trying to decide whether I lived or died at the end of all this. I also knew he had internal conflict as murdering an unarmed and restrained man went against his morals, also he wasn’t in a hurry to let me just walk away either.

“Decisions, decisions… What should I do with you Alex? One bullet and all this could be over, however you know that I can’t do that to you. You fuckin bastard, you made me like this when you took me and destroyed me. There was a time when I couldn’t kill you because you were restrained and unarmed, now I can’t kill you because I fell in love with you.”

Mulder stood beside me and ran the gun down my cheek, he then removed the cuffs and ordered me at gun point to turn over. Okay so I now knew he had no intention of killing me, however I knew he’d have no problem maiming me if I put up a struggle. My legs were left unrestrained, however he used one set of cuffs and threaded them through the headboard. I was now laid on my back and my arms were stretched and restrained above my head, I could try kicking him but I’d lost all the strength that I had and no longer cared what he did to me. That was when Mulder surprised me with his next move, he leant over me and ran his thumb along my gagged mouth.

Mulder looked straight into my eyes and then pulled the gag out, not that I got to say a word as his mouth clamped down over my own. Mulder was kissing me and even forcing his tongue into my warm mouth, shit and then I was so lost as I started kissing him back with everything that I had. To me this was heaven to have Mulder actually kiss me, yet he never even knew and believed I was the man who abused him. Then he had to pull away as we both struggled to breathe and needed air, I looked into his eyes and wanted to say so much to him.

“Fox, Mulder… you have to know the truth about…”

That was as far as I got before he forced the gag back into my mouth, I shook my head and tried so hard to get his attention. Mulder stepped away from me and stared at me, that was the moment that I realized he himself was crying and in pain.

“I don’t want you saying anything Alex and spoiling this, I will be leaving in a couple of minutes so I’m gone before the Brit arrives. You know that I can’t untie you and you’ll remain where you are until he finds you, I guess maybe the humiliation will bring you down a peg or two. Well you should be thankful it’s the Brit coming, Spender would be pissed if he came and saw how his little toy had been used.”

God Mulder really did think I was sleeping with Spender, just the thought wanted to make me scream and throw up. Then I forgot all about the cancerous bastard and everything else, Mulder came to the bed and kissed me on the forehead, then within minutes he grabbed his stuff and walked out of the door without even glancing my way.

I felt so alone right now, to have Mulder so close and touching me was heaven. Okay at one point I’d actually feared the man might kill me, well I suppose I’d have had the one man here with me when the end had come and his would be the last face I’d see before I died. Shit I had to think about the here and now, also how this would all look when the Englishman walked in and found me. I knew he’d ask questions and want to know what had happened here, however I had something far more important to do once he freed me.

Spender had to pay for what he’d done to myself and Fox, also I had to find that clone and destroy it before it was used to fully replace me. I was still thinking things over when I heard my apartment door open, it was then that the Englishman walked in and found me naked and cuffed to the bed.

“Well I suppose I can now see the reason why you didn’t answer your phone, so was it pain or pleasure Alex?”

The Englishman came over and removed the gag from my mouth, he then found the handcuff key so he could free my hands too. At first I couldn’t talk as my mouth was so dry, also I wanted to scream from the cramp that had descended into my arms.

“It was Fox Mulder that did this.”

“Have you any idea why he did it, it just seems so out of character for someone like Agent Mulder.”

“Maybe you should go and ask Spender why he did it…”

“I’m asking you Alex and I want answers right now.”

“I told you all along that Spender had a clone of me, he then used it to abuse and torture Mulder.”

“Ah so Agent Mulder believed the clone to be you, I take it this was his revenge for what he thought you’d done to him?”

“Yeah and now I’m going to kill that sad pathetic black lunged bastard.”

I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom, I also made sure I slammed the door behind me. I no longer cared if the Brit stayed or left, I just wanted to dress and find my own weapon. Spender would never live long enough to cross me or Fox again. First I wanted to know why the brit was here and what he wanted from me, I walked out of the bedroom and saw the gun that was pointing toward my chest.

“God, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me…”

“No, I’m afraid not Alex, you see I can’t let you kill Spender just yet.”

“You can’t stop me; you see I’m the one he’ll call when his flight lands from Tunisia.”

“He won’t call you Alex.”

“Why the hell not…”

“Spenders flight arrived back in America over two hours ago.”

“I don’t understand, why the hell wasn’t I informed of this?”

“Because Spender didn’t want you to know he was back, he doesn’t trust you at all Alex and wants you out of the picture. I believe you’re right and that he does have a clone of you, I also believe that he plans to replace you with it. You saw for yourself how Agent Mulder believed the clone to be you, so everyone else would be fooled too.”

“Great, surely that’s even more reason to kill him now then?”

“I take it you’re aware that he went to Tunisia?”

“Yeah a little bird told me that, so he’s back now and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Alex you always only see what you want to see, that will be your biggest downfall in life and will end up with you dead somewhere. He already tried with the silo along with other methods, that’s why you have to see the whole picture before you go out there with all guns blazing.”

“So, what the hell is this so called big picture then?”

“The reason why he went to Tunisia in the first place.”

“Go on then, just tell me as I’m starting to lose my patience.”

“He went out there to collect someone, Spender paid someone to come over here and he wants them to deal with you or he’ll kill them.”

“So, let him then, why should I care when I can just off them first?”

“Alex the man’s name is Samuel Ivanov.”

“Oh shit…”

“Now you see what the problem is, I know all about you and the affair you had with the prison guard.”

“It wasn’t an affair, shit it was just sex and nothing more.”

“Fine you’ll have no problem killing the guard, then we’ll discuss Spender and when’s best to deal with him.”

“Fuck…”

What’s the matter Alex?”

“I can’t kill him, you don’t understand…”

“Oh, I understand Alex, he was there for you when you had no one and you can’t just kill him in cold blood.”

“God it was just sex and never meant to be complicated like this, and yeah I guess your right and I can’t kill him.”

“That’s why you can’t touch Spender yet.”

“So, what has he actually got Sam to do?”

“Spender’s paying him to watch you for now, he wants to see where you go and who you talk to.”

“So Sam could tell Spender everything, then I’ll just wind up dead because I didn’t kill him first.”

“We all had a meeting with regards to your future Alex…”

“What the fuck, so you’re on Spenders side now and want rid of me too?”

“Alex sit down before I lose my patience with you, it had to be this way and Spender has to trust that I feel the same way. It was the only way he’d trust me with the care and delivery of his new employee.”

“What you have him here with you?”

“He’s sat outside with my driver; however Spender has informed the man that you want him dead and will kill him if you see him. I have had a word with him myself and explained a few things, he knows what ‘s happening and will still have to report stuff to Spender, however none of it will be the truth though.”

“So, he doesn’t want to kill me?”

“No Spender wants him to gain your trust and basically get into your head, he wants to see how you work and what you’re planning.”

“Great why the hell does everyone want to get in my head?”

“I take it you mean Agent Mulder? Maybe it’s because you’re hard to understand at times Alex. Look I will go and get him; however I suggest you clean this room and consider taking a shower.”

“Yeah okay, can you keep him in the car for another five minutes?”

“Okay and then I’ll send him up.”

I watched as the Englishman returned his gun and then walked out without another word, now I had to move fast and get rid of all traces of Mulder. Right now it was hard trusting anyone, also Sam had worked for Spender long before I met him. That was why I had to move fast, if he were a spy he’d tell Spender about Mulders visit and I’d be dead within the hour.

First, I stripped all the bedding off the bed and removed all the traces of my time with Mulder. I then went into the bathroom to see if the man had caused me any major damage, especially from the time he’d used my own belt on me. Fuck I could see the marks on my backside; however my neck also was marked from when Mulder nearly strangled me.

If anyone noticed, I’d have to claim I went to the club and wanted it rough. Soon I was under the warm water and it felt so relaxing against my abused flesh, it was only then that I realized just how tired I was and what little sleep I’d had. Soon I had to force myself out and get a move on, as the Englishman had said he’d only wait five minutes as it was.

I decided I had no time left and would have to do as I was, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my wait before going back into the bedroom. Straight away I could sense someone and went for my gun, it was only then that I realized Sam was sat in the chair that Mulder had previously evacuated.

“Shit, are you trying to give me a fuckin heart attack or something…”

“It’s good to see you too Alex.”

“Is it really?”

“Why the hostility Alex, I thought you’d be glad to see me?”

“Really, I’m well aware that Spender brought you back here, I also know what he expects from you Sam.”

“You know that I couldn’t refuse him Alex.”

“Yeah and that’s what worries me, so what exactly are your orders Sam?”

“Basically, to watch you at all times, I’m also to report what you do and who you see.”

“Just fuckin great…”

“Alex it’s hard for me too, look I’ve no idea what you plan to do, or who you plan to see. This is not even my own country, and I only get to go home if I do the job he ordered.”

“Yeah well you’ll be wasting your time, I’m not going to do anything with you breathing down my fuckin neck am I?”

“Alex I actually do like you and want us to get along, the Englishman says it’ll only be for a few weeks and then he’ll send me back.”

“So basically, you want to play happy families for a few weeks?”

“All I ask is that you stay here and don’t do anything stupid, that way neither of us will have to suffer the man.”

“So, what if I have to go somewhere or see someone?”

“I’ll go with you.”

Well wasn’t this just great, my own personal fuckin babysitter. Also, now I would be a prisoner in my own home and couldn’t cope with that, I had to find out what the clone had done to Mulder and how Skinner was involved in it all. How the hell could I go and see Skinner with Sam on my back. I removed the towel and got into bed, fuck him as I was far too tired to deal with him tonight.

“Alex are you just going to ignore me?”

“Yeah something like that, just turn the light out when you leave the room.”

“Alex, we have to deal with this, I’m here to stay for a while and we have to spend a lot of time together.”

“It doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“You’re not going to make this easy on me are you…”

“Why the hell should I, shit I do anything at all and you’ll go running back to that cancerous bastard.”

“Is that what you really think, I thought you’d understand me better than that?”

“Look Sam, it’s nothing personal and I just find it hard trusting people.”

“Fine I’ll leave you alone for now, I’ll go and see if I can get any sleep on the couch.”

Great now I felt like a complete bastard, Sam had gone out of his way to help me back in Tunisia and I was throwing it back in his face. I guess it was the fact trust came hard for me, I knew that was something that I had in common with Mulder too.

I lay here trying to decide what to do and how this could work for now, there would be no need for me to leave here right now, also if he trusted me it’d be far easier getting one over on him. After all Sam was just a prison guard, while I was apparently a dirty manipulative lying bastard. I would gain his trust and then find a way I could leave without him; at the end of the day it was nothing personal and just business.

I wanted to see Skinner and find out exactly what he thought I’d done to Mulder; I also knew it would be dangerous as the man would try to inflict plenty of pain on me if he got the chance. I couldn’t blame the man though, shit I’d want to kill someone if I thought they’d hurt Fox that bad, hence why Spender was now on my hit list.

According to Fox I’d forced Skinner to hurt and abuse him, it makes my skin crawl thinking about it and how he thought I was capable of that. It was the fact he never mentioned what I supposedly let Skinner do to him, that was the reason why I had to face Skinner and find out for myself.

Not that any of that mattered tonight or tomorrow, now I’d have to face Sam and make my piece with him. I took a deep breath and got back out of bed, I then walked over to the room door and opened the door as quietly as I could.

I walked in the room and could see the man spread out on the small couch; and I knew from personal experiences that it wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep. Maybe Sam was exhausted and I should return to my own room, as there was always tomorrow to have that talk with him. I turned to walk away and get a blanket so I could at least cover him up, yet just as I turned, I felt him reach out and grab my hand.

“Do you want something Alex?”

“I thought you were asleep; I was just going to get you a blanket or something…”

“Is that the real reason Alex?”

“Yeah…No, god I don’t know anymore.”

“Well I figured it was just an excuse to talk to me, well I mean it can’t be that cold considering what you’re wearing!”

Shit I was a fuckin idiot and had forgot that I was still naked, I was used to sleeping this way, however I wasn’t used to having someone sleep over. Now I felt an even bigger idiot though, especially as my cock started to become hard. My mind had flashed back to the last time I was naked in his company, it wasn’t love but I needed someone to make me feel human.

“Fine, I came out here to apologize for treating you like shit. Also, I thought you might prefer to sleep in the bed than out here, I know myself that you’ll wake up with back ache if you sleep on that all night?”

“Is that what you really want Alex, I’m no longer that guard and you’re no longer my prisoner.”

“Sam just shut up and come to bed with me.”

I pulled him up off the couch and he followed me into the bedroom, then I couldn’t help myself as I turned and kissed him. I let the kiss linger on until I were forced to pull away from him, and then I looked at him and suddenly realized how overdressed the man was.

“Strip for me Sam.”

“Is that really wise Alex as I’m only human, so don’t lead me on or play games with me unless it’s what you really want.”

“Yeah, it’s what I really want Sam, right now I need you to make everything okay. I want you to prove to me that I can trust you, that you won’t hurt me or stab me in the back.”

“Okay just give me a minute then.”

I lay back down on the bed and watched Sam as he undressed, the man was good looking and he also had plenty of muscles in his arms and chest. Part of it thrilled me and I wanted him to hold me, yet the thought of what he could do to me sent shivers down my spine. Sam was powerful and would have no trouble subduing me if it came to it, when the time was right, I’d have to use my brain over anything else.

“You look miles away Alex.”

“I was just thinking how strong you actually are, yet you showed me a totally different side that night in the prison.”

“Spender wanted you to be punished Alex, a punishment can come in many other forms than just pain.”

“Yeah I think I gathered that.”

“It just bothers you that I could get into your head, that I could see how everyone had only ever hurt you and inflicted pain. There’s no shame in wanting someone to love you Alex, the biggest shame is that you couldn’t make Fox Mulder understand that.”

“Mulder will never change; I also think the man gets a kick out of what he does to me.”

“Have you seen him since you returned back here?”

“No, I did call him but Spender found out and punished me.”

“Do you want me to take your mind off it all for a while?”

“Yeah, I want to forget everything and everyone that’s beyond this room.”

“That sounds good to me.”

I watched Sam as he got in the bed beside me and held me in his strong arms, I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to forget everything. Okay I was greedy and just wanted something that felt remotely normal, something that I knew I couldn’t possibly have with Fox. In a way maybe I was using Sam to get what I wanted, I knew come tomorrow I’d be looking for a way to ditch him and get the hell out of here.

Then I couldn’t thing beyond this room and Sam, especially as his mouth came down upon my own and then his tongue was deep in my mouth. I moaned with the need to come as my erection pressed against his thigh, then his mouth was gone and it was suddenly finding its way down my body. I couldn’t help but moan out loud as he sucked and bit my nipples one by one. Okay maybe I was a slut after all, however right now I’d beg if Sam would let me come soon.

All rational thought fled as his mouth started moving even lower down my body, oh god and then suddenly he deep throated me as I arched up to fuck his mouth. I guess Sam was good at giving orders and getting what he wanted, hell I suppose he had to be in his line of work as a prison guard.

Sam took hold of my hips and forced me to remain still while he tormented my body that was already struggling to hold it together. I couldn’t stop my mouth as I cursed the man for dragging it out like this, not that it mattered as I resorted back to speaking in Russian. I had to suffer this for some time before he finally stepped up with his mouth, then suddenly he shoved a finger inside me and located my prostate.

That was all it took and there was no going back now, I couldn’t stop myself as I came in his mouth and practically passed out. I’d had very little sleep and my body was exhausted now; it even took me a few minutes to realize what he was now doing. The bastard rolled me over on to my stomach and was shoving his fingers deep inside my ass, I was willing to do anything other than this.

I’d made it clear on many occasions that I rarely bottomed to anyone, not that he was listening now as I tried to protest and shove him off. Shit I couldn’t do a damn thing as he forced his erection inside me with minimal preparation, then I howled with outrage along with the pain that I felt.

“You bastard…”

“Big words Alex, sometimes you need it this way as this is what you see as normal.”

“Fine just get on with it then and fuck me…”

“Slut.”

“Yeah whatever…”

“Right you asked for this Alex.”

Suddenly Sam was fucking me like there was no tomorrow until he came, then he collapsed on me and I forgot about everyone else and slept with no nightmares. Maybe Sam was right and that was what I’d needed to be at peace for now, however morning now brought a fresh set of dilemmas with it.

Sam was still asleep beside me and I knew he was tired from travelling, right now though I had to keep telling myself that it was just business. I had nothing against the man and I knew it wasn’t his fault that Spender had brought him here, yet Sam would have to do as he was told if he wanted to return home. Knowing Spender, he’d make sure Sam disappeared without even leaving the country if he disobeyed him.

Right so now I had to decide how to get out of here, then later I’d have to decide whether I could kill Sam if it came down to it. God I couldn’t imagine having to pull the trigger on a man that had made me feel so much, well with any luck it wouldn’t come down to that.

I’d had a shower and was fully dressed when Sam finally woke, I was in the kitchen making some coffee and toast when he came up behind me. Shit I nearly jumped as his arms came around me and he kissed my neck, it also didn’t help because the man was so warm and still naked.

“I was hoping you’d still be in bed this morning; you could have woken me Alex and we could have had some fun.”

“We still can later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good, I’ll look forward to it. How about some coffee and toast until then?”

“Yeah I guess it’s the best offer I’m going to get.”

“Don’t worry as I have vodka for later, well that’s if you’re good Sam and deserve it.”

“If not, you’ll have to punish me and teach me the error of my ways, do you think you could do that Alex?”

I turned around and slapped his bare ass hard, I then turned him around towards the bedroom and gave him a shove.

“Believe me I’m capable Sam, however for now I think you’d do well to get dressed in case we have any unwanted visitors.”

“Yeah true, give me a minute then and I’ll grab that toast.”

I watched as he left the kitchen, then I carried on making the coffee and acted as if nothing was unusual. Well at least he hadn’t seen the sleeping pills I had on the counter when he’d walked in, I’d been quick and had shoved them in my pocket until later when I planned to use them.

The day went far better than I expected, then later that night I convinced him to have a drink or two with me. I was good at what I did and he was soon knocking them back, also at no point had he realized I was drinking far less then him. After a few glasses he went into the bathroom and I made my move, I opened the small bag and tipped the powder into his glass and stirred it with my finger. The man was far too drunk to realize it was a bit cloudy, hell he didn’t even notice the taste as he drank it in one mouthful.

I sat there for half an hour and watched him as he started yawning, then within no time he was out for the count. That was my que to move and get the hell out of here, I made sure he was reasonably comfortable and then covered him with a blanket. Once done I grabbed my gun and car keys, at this time of night I’d soon reach Skinners place and with any luck he’d be in bed fast asleep.

As I’d hoped, the roads were rather quiet and I kept to the speed limit the whole way there. I had my lockpick had no problems getting into the main part of the building, not that I wanted to think about the last time I was here and Mulder had just walked out and left me. Shit what was I trying to do to myself, I found myself stood there taking deep breaths and trying to forget about that balcony. Believe me it’s hard when you were the one that had hung there, seventeen floors up and I had to rely on a pair of FBI cuffs.

I forced myself to move and got into the lift, normally I’d take the stairs but I was far too tired and would need to conserve my energy for Skinner. I did however decide to get off on the sixteenth floor, that or knowing my luck Skinner would greet me as the lift doors opened on the seventeenth floor. I then took the stairs two at a time until I reached the appropriate floor, it was only then that I pulled out my picklock and opened his apartment door.

Inside it was in darkness, also I was thankful that it was silent too. I crept upstairs taking care to remain quiet, I then opened Skinners door and to my surprise the bed was empty. I’d never checked what he was working on, knowing Skinner he’d be back at his office doing some paperwork or other. Shit it was only then that I heard the click of a gun, then a large hand came down and pulled my gun free from my own hand.

“Hello Alex.”

“Oh shit…”

“Yeah you can say that again, move slowly and sit on the bed where I can see you. That’s right, now take the cuffs and fasten one of your wrists to the headboard.”

“What, like hell am I doing that.”

“Now Alex, do as I say or you’ll leave here in a body bag. I’m an Assistant Director and you’re nothing, no one will think twice if I say it was self defence.”

Shit I knew that he was right, now I was fucked as I cuffed my hand to his bed and sat there watching him. Skinner never even spoke at first, it was as if he had all the time in the world and planned to make me suffer.

“So, what brings you here Krycek, you have to be up to something if you’re creeping around here in the dark.”

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“Fox Mulder.”

“Why come here, can’t you go over there and talk to him face to face. Hell maybe the honeymoon period is over and he’s finally seen you for what you are. You’re nothing but a manipulating lying little bastard and deserve to suffer.”

“You know nothing at all Skinner, I came here because I wanted to know what went on between me and Mulder?”

“What, have you suddenly got a case of amnesia Krycek?”

“It wasn’t me, shit you have to believe that I’d never hurt him like that!”

“Do you think I’m stupid or something, just in case it slipped your mind I was there with you both in his office.”

“No, I don’t think you’re stupid, but you are pig headed and won’t listen to reason when it comes to me.”

“Well you still haven’t given me a reason, why the hell should I believe you wouldn’t hurt Mulder?”

“Because I love him…”

Shit I wasn’t prepared for the fist that connected with my jaw, now I was sat here and my jaw was in agony and couldn’t risk Skinner hitting me like that again. At the end of the day the man did boxing just as a hobby and I was no match against him, however I knew that someone like him would never believe I was in love with Fox Mulder.

“You deserved that Krycek, you never know when to keep that lying mouth of yours shut do you? You couldn’t do the things you did to him if you loved him, shit you abused the man and reduced him to nothing.”

“I swear it wasn’t me Skinner.”

“Unless you have proof your word means nothing, that’s why you won’t just walk out of here without paying for what you did to him.”

“What, so you just plan to keep me here against my will? I’ve dealt with far worse people than you Skinner, plus you’re limited to what you can do to me because of your job.”

“Well I guess you don’t know me as well as you think you do, Mulder is one of my best agents and I won’t sit back while you destroy him, you took his brilliant mind and turned him into nothing more than a whore.”

“Shit I feel sick, please just tell me what I did to him.”

“What how you held him against his own will to begin with, then you abused him daily until you broke him and he thought he needed you. Then when you’ve had your thrills you desert him and leave him so confused. The man doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going, he became so dependant on you doing everything for him. Do you know why he gave in to you, why he let you abuse and humiliate him?”

“No?”

“Because he fell in love with you despite how you treat him, he would do anything for you despite you couldn’t give him the one thing he wanted.”

“Why what did he want?”

“You know exactly what he wanted as he asked you often enough, all he wanted was for you to love him in return. Yet you couldn’t do it, to you he was an assignment and nothing more.”

“If it were me, I’d have told him that I love him, see I told you that it wasn’t me who did those things.”

Fuck I really wasn’t prepared for his next move and knew it would hurt for days, Skinner was fast as his fist now connected with my stomach and I doubled over in pain. It even took me a few minutes to get my breathing back under control, then I looked up and knew I’d made a huge mistake and should never have come here alone.

“I’m his boss and respect him, yet he’d even let me abuse him just to please you.”

“What, you abused Mulder?”

“You know I did, you’re a cocky fuckin bastard and think you’ll get off by pretending you’ve forgot what you did. I was the one who found him when you ran out and left him cuffed to the bed, the man should have gone to a hospital after the you left him in that state. Only an animal would bite someone over ninety percent of their body, you left him bloody and covered in bite marks. Yet you sit there like you’ve done nothing wrong; he became scared of you but still couldn’t bring himself to walk away.”

“Shit I wish for his sake he had done.”

“Fuck you Krycek, you ordered me to abuse Mulder or you’d use the nanos on me.”

“I don’t even have the palm pilot anymore; Spender took that when he had me locked in a Tunisian prison. Shit think about it for a minute will you, if I had that wouldn’t I have used it on you now.”

“Maybe you thought I’d believe you this way.”

“God can’t you just tell me what you think I made you do?”

“I don’t think it Krycek, I know what you made me do. Actually, I’ve just had a thought, well they do say actions speak louder than words…”

“What do you mean, shit what are you going to do to me?”

“I’m going to show you what you made me do to Mulder, one of my own fuckin agents.”

I knew by Skinners tone that he was really starting to lose it, shit and I was the one at his mercy and I just prayed this wouldn’t be too painful. Skinner refused to even tell me what I supposedly made him do to Fox, yet I was thankful when he came over and removed the cuffs. At least it didn’t involve a bed and that was good, I’d had punishments and I knew what to expect when it was in the bedroom.

“You will walk downstairs and do as I say, I’ll be watching every move you make and won’t think twice about shooting you.”

“Yeah I get it.”

“Oh, believe me you’re not going to like this at all, not that I liked it when you made me do it to Mulder.”

“You could at least tell me what the hell you’re talking about?”

“Why, if you have really lost your memory it’ll be a surprise for you.”

“Shit I never said anything about losing my fuckin memory, I said that it wasn’t me.”

“Well all that does is prove just what a liar you are., just turn left there and go into my study then stand facing the wall.”

“Shit I’m not a fuckin kid…”

“No you’re not, you’re a double crossing bastard that I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw you.”

“God I give up, fine I’ll go and face the fuckin wall.”

I walked into the room and took everything in that I passed, I just wanted to know my surroundings in case I had the opportunity to escape. Shit I was thinking about how I could get out of this mess, the same mess that I’d willingly walked in to on my own accord.

Skinner managed to keep the gun on me while he sorted a few things out, first he shut his laptop and put it in his briefcase. My mind worked overtime wondering what secrets he had on it that he didn’t want me seeing, then he started moving everything else until the desk was totally empty. I was starting to think he’d lost the plot; I mean what reason would the man have for removing the lamp and phone too.

“Right I’m nearly ready, I will give you some orders and you will obey every single one of them.”

“Whatever…”

“Don’t be too clever Krycek, you’ll do as I say or suffer the consequences. Believe me when I say I’m good at dishing out punishments too, I can play any game far better than you Krycek and will make you suffer as you did Mulder. The man still refuses to even remove the collar you placed around his neck; oh, I’ll apologize in advance for my lack of toys that you had when you were with Mulder. I have to manage with what I have, but hey I’m sure we’ll get by and make do.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Strip now Krycek.”

“Like hell I will…”

Shit then suddenly Skinner was behind me with his arm pressed tight across my throat, then the bastard placed the gun against my temple and removed the safety.

“I will only ask you one more time so don’t test my patience, refuse again and I’ll put a bullet in your spine and paralyze you for life.”

I started shaking and truly believed the man more than capable of carrying out his threat, he stepped back and remained only a couple of feet behind me as I started to remove my jacket. I stripped out of my jacket and tee shirt, then I just stood there unsure of how far the man wanted me to actually go.

“Have you got a problem following orders Krycek?”

“What?”

“I told you to strip.”

I kicked off my shoes and removed my socks, then I started undoing the buttons on my jeans one by one as I stalled for time. Now I stood here in just a pair of boxers and I was scared shitless, I hated it when I had to face someone who was far larger than me and was fully dressed too.

“You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

“Is that the only word you know Krycek?”

“What…”

“Jesus just do as I asked.”

“What, even my underwear too?”

“Yes everything.”

I froze, shit I had no idea why suddenly my body refused to cooperate and follow his orders. Skinner was not known for his patience when around me, suddenly I was brought back to my senses as he slapped me hard across the face.

“Don’t try your games with me boy, look I’ll deal with everything else.”

Skinner grabbed my arm and forced it behind my back farther than was normal, I even cried out with pain and still the bastard ignored me. I was dragged over to the now empty desk and forced over it face first, it was only then that I noticed the cuffs that he held. This was bad and I had to end it before it became any worse, not that I stood a chance as he used his weight to hold me in place.

“Stay still unless you want your arm breaking.”

“Please don’t do this Skinner, it’s not you and you know that.”

“It wasn’t me when you forced me to do it to one of my own agents, I hated doing that to him, so I’ll take great pleasure doing the same to you.”

Skinner reached over my back and cuffed a wrist to the leg of the desk, he then went around it and repeated what he’d done with my other arm. I now had my chest pressed against the desk, while my arms were stretched sideways and both restrained. I knew there wasn’t a single thing I could say that would change his mind, now I just prayed that the clone hadn’t forced Skinner to hurt Fox.

“Well now you’re in the same position as you put Mulder, how did it feel Krycek doing that to a man that loves you?”

“It wasn’t me.”

Suddenly a large hand came down hard against my backside and I cried out, then all I could do was watch as Skinner grabbed a large pair of scissors. I couldn’t remain still now, my whole body started trembling and I had no control over it at all.

“Krycek just breathe.”

“What the fuck are you going to do to me?”

“What, oh you mean with the scissors?”

“Yeah…”

“Calm down will you, I’m just cutting some rope so I can tie your ankles to the desk. Well unless you don’t think that will be necessary, is the gun enough to keep you in line Krycek?”

“Where the fuck could I go without taking the desk with me, also yeah I believe you’re capable of shooting me if I fight you.”

“Good boy, maybe there’s hope for you after all.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“Look I don’t want to frighten you and will let you know what will happen just before I do it.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Don’t be clever Krycek, you don’t wait to anger me when I’m about to be really close to you.”

“God just get on with it will you?”

“Okay, first I plan to remove your boxers so don’t fight me.”

I felt so humiliated as he grabbed them by the waist and pulled them off, to be laid here with my bare ass in the air, also to have Walter Skinner behind me. Maybe he was going to use his belt on me, shit what the hell had the clone made Skinner do to Fox? Then I really started to worry when I felt his hands on my vulnerable backside, especially as I could feel his extremely large hands parting my ass cheeks.

“Shit… What the fuck re you doing?”

“Only what you made me do to Agent Mulder, also you’d be wise not to fight me Krycek as it might hurt even more.”

“Shit please don’t do this… hell it wasn’t me Skinner…”

Suddenly one of his large hands came down hard across my backside, the bastard then grabbed me by the balls and squeezed them tight.

“I don’t want to hear another word out of your lying mouth Krycek, believe me this will be painful enough without you making it worse on yourself. I guess I could always gag you, however I’m looking forward to hearing you scream.”

“You sadistic fuck…”

“Now you’re really trying my patience, you have some nerve calling me that after what you made me do to one of my own agents.

“I made you do fuck all…”

Shit the bastard grabbed hold of my hair and slammed my head down hard against the desk, at first I was so dazed and hadn’t even realized what the cold thing was that had touched my back. Hell part of me wished it had stayed that way, especially when my brain screamed out that it was lube he’d placed there. Surely even my clone wouldn’t have let Skinner fuck Mulder, then I really started screaming as he forced a couple of fingers deep inside my ass.

“Shit no, you have to believe that it wasn’t me. I wouldn’t have made you do that to him, not Fox as I love him too much to do that…”

I knew that I wasn’t coherent and was saying anything now in the hope he’d stop, however every time I opened my mouth it had the opposite effect on him. It was as if he wanted to tear me apart from the inside out, especially as I realized he was working his full hand inside me now.

The man had fuckin huge hands and I couldn’t take this anymore, especially as he was now working his knuckles past the tight ring of muscle. Sweat was literally running down onto the desk below me as I tried to contain the pain, then suddenly he had his full hand inside me and stopped. I could always pray that it was over now and he’d just pull it out, he’d taught me a lesson and that I wasn’t to mess with him.

I could sense that he was doing something behind me but had no idea what, then I realized and it was at that moment I truly wished I hadn’t.

“This is not you Skinner, please don’t do this as you’ll regret it later…”

“The only thing I regret is what you made me do to Mulder, he had to lay there and endure this from his own fuckin boss of all people.”

With that Skinner pushed his arm inside me as far as it would go, I couldn’t hold back the screams as he scraped his nails along my insides. Then all I got in return was his hand over my mouth, now I couldn’t do a damn thing as he fucked me with his fist. The man had huge hands and then I thought I’d pass out from the pain it was causing me, then suddenly his hand was gone and I realized I was sobbing.

“Now you can imagine how Mulder felt when you made me do it to him, you should be thankful that I don’t just end your sad pathetic life right now for what you did to him alone.”

“It wasn’t me, I never once hurt him physically.”

“Well there’s one thing that I do know Krycek.”

“What’s that?”

“I won’t kill a man in cold blood; however, I’ll have no problem arresting you.”

“You can’t, shit I’ll be dead within five minutes…”

“Yeah well that’s not my problem.”

“Do that and I’ll scream sexual abuse, just remember you’ll have left plenty of DNA behind Skinner!”

“You little fuckin bastard, that’s the best you can do because you’re nothing and can’t even fight back.”

“Untie me and then we’ll see.”

Skinner lent over me once more and grabbed hold of my hair, I was just about to scream when I heard someone kick his apartment door open.”

“Who the hell are you, I hope you know I’m an assistant director for the FBI and you’ve just made a big mistake.”

“Who I am is immaterial, however unless you want a bullet in your head you’ll do as I say.”

“What the hell do you want?”

“Untie Alex right now and then step back.”

I lifted my head and saw Sam stood there with a gun pointed at Skinner, then finally he moved and unfastened the cuffs from my wrists and I slid to the floor still shaking.”

“What the fuck did you do to him?”

“Only what he had me do to one of my own agents, shit are you the new boyfriend or something.”

“I’m his friend and believe me he needs one right now.”

“What, even after he lied and what he made me do?”

Sam came over and pulled me to my feet, he then held me there until I could finally stand on my own.

“Alex can you dress yourself?”

“Yeah I think so, I just need to get out of here.”

“Well get dressed then, however you’ll be punished later for what you did to me.”

“I had to do it Sam, how the hell did you find me anyway?”

“I put a tracker on your car because I didn’t trust you.”

“Fuckin great, look I had to see Skinner and find out what the clone had done to Fox.”

“I know; however you should have known that he wouldn’t believe you.”

“Look Skinner even Sam here knows that I was in Tunisia at the time.”

“Do you really think I’d believe anyone that’s friends with you Krycek.”

“No, I guess you wouldn’t, I’ll get some proof one way or another and then you’ll have to believe me Skinner.”

“Yeah well don’t show your face around here until you have the proof in your hands.”

Sam grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me over to the door, he then pulled me towards the lift and pushed me inside it. The door slowly closed and I felt so relieved to be out of Skinners apartment, then suddenly Sam backhanded me and knocked me to the floor.

“Shit... What the hell was…”

“Don’t ever double cross me again Alex and risk both our lives, also I’ll kill you if you ever try drugging me again.”

“Look I’m sorry okay…”

“What chance would you have against someone like that, shit look what he did do to you Alex!”

“You don’t know what he did…”

Suddenly I felt so embarrassed and useless, I couldn’t live with the thought of people knowing what Skinner had done to me.

“Alex are you even listening to me?”

“What?”

“Alex, he had you over his desk, also there was blood on your thighs…”

“It’s not what you think, look just leave me the fuck alone…”

“Alex you need to talk about this, especially if the man raped you and came inside you. You will need to be checked out …”

“Shut the fuck up as you know nothing.”

“Talk to me then.”

The lift doors opened and Sam led me towards his own car, great I knew I’d have to leave my car here for tonight and collect it some other time. I opened the passenger door and sat down on the seat, then I jumped a mile as a pain shot through my body and I struggled to get comfortable. Straight away I saw the look that Sam gave me, poor little Alex, used and raped by the big bad A.D.

“Are you sure you’re okay Alex, I could stop by the hospital if you want?”

“I’m okay and I just want to go home.”

“Yeah okay if you’re sure.”

“Sam, he didn’t… look he didn’t rape me in the way you think okay.”

“So, what the hell happened Alex?”

“He did to me what he thought I’d made him do to Fox; however it wasn’t me that made him do that. Shit I could never make someone hurt Fox in that way, especially a man he has to face every day at work.”

“What did he do to you Alex?”

“Oh god please don’t make me spell it out…”

“Talk to me Alex, look I could have sold you out and gone straight to Spender instead of saving your sorry ass.”

I put my head back against the car seat and closed my eyes, at the end of the day I knew that Sam was right and this would be far worse if he’d gone to Spender. Like I said, I felt like a total failure and believed everyone would see me differently now, even though I also knew I owed Sam an explanation.

“Okay I’ll tell you if you really want to know, then I just want to go home and get some sleep.”

“Out with it then, once we get back you can take a warm shower and then I promise I’ll let you sleep.”

“Skinner he, shit he used his fist to fuck me. The man was also brutal as he forced most of his arm inside me too, then he pretty much shredded my insides with his nails and that was what the blood was from.”

“Shit I think you should see a doctor…”

“Sam I won’t go so just shut the fuck up or else.”

“Or else what Alex, do you really think I’m intimidated by you?”

“You don’t even know me Sam or what I’m capable of, you think because I have a soft side now and again that I’m a push over. Well fuck you, also fuck Skinner and fuck Spender too.”

I knew I was losing it and fast, I couldn’t cope with what Skinner had just done to me. Then worse was thinking about Fox and what it must have done to him, I’d suffered worse abuse than this and it wasn’t something Fox was used to dealing with.

Sam remained quiet all the way home, it suited me well and I went into the bathroom to take a shower. I had the water hot and knew exactly what I was doing to myself and what I was trying to destroy too. I was a typical assault victim, I honestly felt like I could wash all the evidence away and everything would be okay once more. Finally, I became exhausted and wanted to go to sleep and forget all about this, then I entered the bedroom and found Sam sat there on the bed waiting for me.

Shit I was like a deer caught in the headlights, I was stood here with nothing more than a towel around my waist and felt so vulnerable right now. Sam just watched me as I finally moved, the first thing I did was grab some underwear and put them on without even speaking to him, I guess deep down I could only see the image of Skinner and what he’d done to me.

“Alex, I swear that I won’t hurt you, look just come to bed and get some sleep.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch…”

I turned to walk back into the room, within seconds Sam grabbed me and pulled me down onto the bed. I lashed out at him and really started to panic, he was holding me tight and I had to get away from him before he did the same to me as Skinner.

“Alex just relax…”

“You fuckin bastard, just get your hands off me and let me go right now!”

“I’m not letting you go, look just accept it and calm down. I meant it when I said I won’t hurt you Alex, however I won’t sit back and watch as you self destruct.”

I lay there and was afraid, then the emotion changed and he was starting to really piss me off. I fought him for a few more minutes and got nowhere, then I finally gave in and the tears came and wouldn’t stop. Sam held me in his arms and was stroking my hair as I sobbed, in the end I think I must have cried myself to sleep.

I woke the next morning to find myself still in Sam’s arms, for now all I could do was lay here and wait until he woke up to tell him my plans for the day. I wanted to go and collect my car as it was a risk keeping it there, also I wanted to pay Agent Scully a visit and prayed it would go better than my visit with Skinner.

I just lay here thinking about Sam and what happened last night too, anyone else I’d have killed for pinning me to the bed and keeping me here. The man had got under my skin and it scared the hell out of me, it was then that I realized he was watching me.

“How are you feeling this morning Alex?”

“I’m okay, to be honest I just want to forget about what happened with Skinner last night.”

“That’s understandable, so what’s on today’s agenda then?”

“You have to take me to get my car, it’s not safe there as Spenders goons might see it there and grass on me.”

“Okay that’s something I can do, then what do you want to do?”

“Just how long are you babysitting Sam, have you spoken to the Englishman at all or found anything out?”

“Such as?”

“Like when I can take Spender out and finally be free of all this shit.”

“Do you really think you’ll walk away afterwards Alex?”

“Yeah I do, well unless someone informs him of my plans.”

“No one will do that or the Brit would have them killed too.”

“Yeah that includes you too Sam, the Englishman won’t let anyone stand in his way now with regards to Spender.”

“Yeah I know, so when do you want to get your car?”

“I’ll get ready so we can get this over with.”

I got out of bed and took a shower, right now I just wanted to be alone and get my head sorted out. I’d decided not to risk taking Sam with me as Scully would be easier, for one I could overpower her if the need should arise. Now I just had to ditch Sam when we were on our way back home, I ‘d trained at Quantico and with the consortium. I knew how to lose a tail and Sam wasn’t prepared to deal with the real me right now, the real me who’d have to get my act together and fast.

Eventually I knew I couldn’t stay in the shower any longer, not that it took me too long to get dressed and grab the things I would need. I left the bedroom and found Sam in the kitchen stood with a mug of coffee, I was just thankful that he was fully dressed and ready to leave.

“Have you got your keys Alex?”

“Yeah, no point going without them.”

“Come on then let’s get going.”

We drove in silence and was soon near Skinners, straight away I started to feel really sick and nervous. I guess it was just the thought of Skinner and what he’d done to me, with any luck he’d be at work and safely in his office at the Hoover.

“Alex talk to me…”

“What?”

“I asked you if you were okay.”

“Yeah I’m okay, I just want to get my car and get the hell out of here. There’s my car, just park in front of me and then I’ll follow you back home.”

“Yeah that sounds good, just don’t try anything stupid Alex.”

“Stupid?”

“Yeah like losing me on the way back or something.”

“Why the hell would I want to do that?”

“I was just saying that’s all.”

“Yeah whatever.”

I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me, fuck him as I would do what the hell I wanted regardless of what he said. Once in my own car I started the engine and flashed my lights at Sam, he then pulled out and I started to follow him. I’d already planned exactly where I’d lose him, I would get one chance and this way I knew he’d never manage to catch up with me. Great then that was when I remembered how he’d found me at Skinners place, the fuckin car was fitted with a tracking device.

Okay it looked like it would have to be plan B, now I would have to ditch Sam along with my car or the tracking device. Well I actually liked my car and it had suffered so much along with myself, however getting rid of the tracker would require a bit more time to locate and destroy. So, I waited until we hit the next set of lights and pulled out my cell phone, I then hoped that Sam had his phone with him and would actually answer it. Five times it rang before he actually bothered answering it, I guess he wasn’t impressed that I couldn’t have waited until we arrived home.

“What is it Alex, shit we’re twenty minutes from home and I don’t see why you had to ring me?”

“I wouldn’t have bothered unless it was important, look I need some gas as I hadn’t realized it was so low.”

“This better not be a trick Alex, I’m not in the mood to deal with this especially after the stunt you pulled with Skinner.”

“Look can you just pull in at the next gas station, I won’t be able to stay close and follow you if I have no fuckin gas!”

“Fine I get the point…”

“Just take a left here and drive for a few minutes, then on your right you’ll see a gas station.”

“Yeah okay.”

With that Sam hung up on me and I just followed once more, I’d also have to remember the man would be watching me like a hawk while we were there too. Not that he should ever underestimate me and what I could do when I was pushed in a corner. I was a good boy and stuck right behind him all the way there, I then pulled up right behind him at the gas pump.

“Can you hurry up Alex as I have things to do today.”

“Such as…”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“Yeah right, so you’ll be seeing Spender then or at least calling him?”

“You know that I have to check in Alex.”

“So, will you be telling him about my visit with Skinner?”

“No so stop worrying, just fill the car while I use the restroom.”

Sam turned to go and then suddenly turned around, he then walked straight towards me and held out his hand.”

“What?”

“Keys Alex, just hand them over so I know you’ll be here when I get back.”

“Great so much for trust.”

Sam just grinned at me as I dropped the keys into his outstretched hand, he then just turned back around and soon disappeared from my sight. Well I had no problem at all with him keeping my keys, as I now had very little time to find the tracker and manage to remove it.

First, I stopped filling my car and returned the nozzle back to the pump, then I dropped to my knees and started feeling around under the car. I could have laughed when a minute later my hand skimmed over the device I was searching for, within no time I removed it and stood back up to view my options. There was a black Audi with no one around it, I gathered the owner was inside paying for his own gas.

I walked up to it and pretended that I was admiring the car, most owners wouldn’t mind as they liked to show off their expensive little toys. Soon I slipped the tracker in place and then returned to my own car, I only just made it as Sam appeared from the restrooms.

“Wow I’m impressed Alex.”

“What?”

“I thought you might have tried hotwiring the car and hot footing it into even more trouble.”

“Very funny, look I just need to pay for the gas and we can get going.”

I paid and returned to my car once more, it was then that Sam threw me my car keys and stood there silently watching me.

“What now?”

“You seem rather distracted Alex, like you’re minds elsewhere planning things.”

“Sam, I have many enemies in Washington, that’s why I always have to watch my back and make sure I’m ready for anything.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Do you know how many feds alone work this area, well believe me I know a few that would like to see me suffer or even be dead for what I’ve done.”

“Okay just forget I asked.”

I got into my car and waited until Sam pulled out, for now I would behave myself so he’d think everything was okay. My advantage was knowing the area and all the back alleys, one right turn and I was gone before Sam would even have time to turn around and follow me. I knew he’d then rely on the tracker to search for me and wouldn’t panic, well not until he realized he was following an Audi and I’d given him the slip.

As for me, well this was the perfect time of day to go and visit Agent Scully. Right now I knew she’d be at work, that meant in the basement office or out somewhere with Mulder. Great I felt a sudden stab of jealousy just thinking about her so close to Mulder, well I would have the advantage for now and would go to her apartment and wait for her.

I parked my car out of sight and entered the building, then within no time at all I found the correct apartment. Well the main difference between her and Mulder hit me as soon as I walked through the main door, Scully obviously liked the place to be spotless with everything where they belonged. She was just as bad as Mulder for security though, either that or I was just good at what I did.

I looked around and soon found the perfect place to sit and wait, it would be dark by the time she returned home so that would help too. The element of surprise had worked so many times on Mulder in the past, I guess it was mainly because the man thought so little of his own life and never thought about any danger he might face.

I settled on the couch and thought back to the last meeting I had with him, well I guess he’d made himself very clear and it hurt so much. Here I was once more thinking about Mulder and how he claimed to love me, shit the man was in love with a clone that had abused him and reduced him to nothing. Mulder had always struck me as the one that liked giving pain, well especially when I was the one on the receiving end. Then suddenly he’d done a complete turnaround after just a few weeks, I couldn’t understand why he’d take it from someone he’d hated and wanted to hurt all the time. Mulder could have gone to any club if that was his true nature, there were plenty of tops out there that would love a slave like Mulder.

Great now I started thinking about the love issue, did Mulder love me long before this and hit me because it scared him. I guess if that were the case it might explain a few things, maybe that was the reason why he let the clone do what it did. Yet I couldn’t see Mulder just bowing down at the start, he was the type that would have fought his restraints for a long time before submitting.

Fox Mulder was so god damn confusing at times and it made my headache, then I was brought back to the present as key entered the lock. I heard the door open and then close; I listened and knew from the footsteps that Scully had come home alone. Shit I’d not thought about Mulder, or the fact that he sometimes came here with her after work. She walked into the room and turned on the nearest lamp, then she looked up and went to grab her own gun. I could never understand people that do that, like I’ll let you do that when I have my own gun pointed at you.

“Don’t bother Scully, keep your hands in the air where I can see them.”

“What the hell do you want Krycek.”

“To talk and nothing more.”

I stood up and retrieved her gun, once I’d removed the bullets I threw it upon the coffee table. I then sat back on the couch once more and was ready to talk, Scully could be quick and I’d have to keep an eye on her at all times too.

“Sit down slowly Scully, I just want you to hear me out and then I’ll be gone.”

“What you want me to sit here and listen to all your lies, you’re an animal Krycek and I want nothing to do with you or hear anything you have to say.”

“Sorry but it’s the only way you’ll get rid of me.”

“Great, so what exactly is it that you want to discuss?”

“Fox Mulder…”

“Just great, can’t you just forget about him and move on Krycek. You already messed with his head and he’s still not himself anymore.”

“I’m well aware of that, Mulder came to my apartment and kept me cuffed to my own fuckin bed.”

“Poor you, do you expect my sympathy after what you put him through?”

“I didn’t put him through anything Scully, you’re his partner and have to make him believe that!”

“Really, well it would appear that you’re not up to date with your facts Krycek.”

“Why would that be?”

“Mulders no longer my partner, things came to a head when I found out about you and him. Worse was when I found out what you did to him, hell and even let others do to him.”

“So you never forgave him, despite you believe I’m the one that made him like that?”

“How can I when he still behaves the way he does.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Mulder believes that you’ll come back, he also believes that he’s in love with you and that alone makes me sick. The man still even wears the collar you forced him to wear, you abused and used him at every opportunity Krycek.”

“It wasn’t me Scully, shit you have to believe that I couldn’t do that to him.”

“I saw with my own eyes Krycek, or did you forget the time he thought he was being raped in his motel room?”

“What are you talking about Scully?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you wear a mask and abuse him in the worst way possible. To you it was nothing more than some sick fantasy, to Mulder he believed it was a stranger that had raped him.”

“So why the hell didn’t you shoot me back then?”

“Because Mulder stepped in the way and protected you, he loves you and won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“Well I agree that he’s disillusioned and needs medical help, however no one can change his mind.”

“Scully, Mulder ‘s a passionate and brilliant man. Oh, he’s in love alright, just not with me though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mulder fell in love with a clone.”

“Yeah right, you must think I was born yesterday Krycek.”

“He fell in love with the way it made him feel and what it did to him, that’s someone I could never be when I’m around him.”

“Say I believed you, why didn’t you explain yourself to Mulder when he came to your apartment?”

“I was in bed Scully and it all happened so fast, Mulder cuffed me and forced a gag into my mouth. He then kept it there while he…”

“While he what Krycek?”

“Shit this is hard…”

“Well I’m sure the likes of you will manage it.”

“You really think I’m some cold blooded killer, don’t you?”

“Hey, I’m allowed to think what I want.”

“Whatever, Look Mulder put my own belt around my throat and started pulling it tight, while his other hand started playing with certain parts of my anatomy. Mulder wanted to make me come, he wanted to prove that I was nothing more than a slut.”

“What do you expect Krycek, you told him all the time that he was just a slut and a whore.”

“It wasn’t me, yet I was the one that Mulder had restrained and wanted to make pay.”

“Well you’re still here so…”

“I’m still here because the phone disrupted him, oh and also because it’s me he thinks he’s in love with.”

“So, have you any proof to back up what you say?”

“Not yet no, however I was in Tunisia when all of this happened.”

“So, you just so happened to be on holiday when Mulder was kidnapped?”

“I wasn’t on holiday okay; I was in a prison getting abused day after day.”

“God you’re really good with the lies…”

“Look I stole some information and gave it to Mulder, Spender found out and next thing I was waking up in a hell hole. With me gone Spender worked out his plan to control Mulder, also with me gone he could play with his new clone.”

“Surely the clone would think the same way as you Krycek, yet you sit there claiming you’d never do that to Mulder.”

“A lot of it was the same as me, Spender would have to make everyone believe it was the real me. Chances are he changed some of its programming, he could bend and shape it to his will and make it see things his way.”

“There was one thing that annoyed Mulder far more than anything else, that was you and what you did in the end.”

“Skinner already told me about how I left him, he told me in great details about all the teeth marks I left upon his body.”

“No, I don’t mean that, even though that was bad in itself.”

“What you’re telling me that there’s more?”

“It was the whole issue with Spender, Mulder told me about how he forced himself on you and raped you. Then afterwards you went crawling straight back to him, despite you claimed that no one touched you in that way.”

“The fuckin bastard, he made the clone do the one thing he could never make me do…”

“What’s that?”

“Spender tried it on with me now and then over the years, yet I always put him in his place and refused his advances. You’ve seen him Scully, shit just the thought alone makes me want to throw up.”

“Well at least that’s something we both agree on.”

“Now I know what Mulder meant, he refused to use me in that way as he said I hated it. Great so I guess the clone and Spender had been the ultimate betrayal, no wonder Mulder wants to make me suffer now.”

“Nobody, especially Mulder will believe you without any proof.”

“Yeah well I’m trying to work on that, right now everyone wants to see me dead or in pain. Spender doesn’t trust me and he thinks I want to kill him, which of course I do. He has someone following me around all the time, he wants to know my every move.”

“If that’s true where is the man now?”

“I ditched him, he had a tracker on my car and I removed it. I’m working for the Englishman now anyway; he wants me to kill Spender when he says the time’s right and then I can walk.”

“What just like that?”

“Apparently, I guess I’ll find out once the job’s done. The Englishman has always been a man of his word, well I guess I’m hoping he still is, and that the curtesy extends to me too.”

“Well like I said, I know longer work with Mulder and have no idea if he’d listen to me. You need proof Krycek, try talking to Mulder once you have it and then take it from there.”

“Yeah well that’s if I survive that long…”

It was at that moment that someone knocked on the apartment door, shit surely no one could have followed me here as I’d been really careful. I looked up at Scully hoping she’d have answers, yet she shook her head and I knew she wasn’t expecting anyone either.

“It might be someone looking for me, also I can’t let anything happen to you Scully or Mulder really would kill me.”

“Yeah right, he most likely wouldn’t even notice me gone.”

“He loves you Scully despite what you think.”

“Yeah well apparently he loves you more.”

“Not me I’m afraid... Look just stay there and I’ll answer the door.”

As an afterthought I grabbed her cuffs and cuffed her to the table leg, I then made sure I had my gun and silently crept over towards the door. I had this strange feeling that it was Spender who knew I was here, shit then again it might be Skinner coming to warn her about me. I counted to five and had my gun ready as I pulled the door open, that split hesitation was all it took to lose control of the situation.

What the hell are you doing here Krycek?”

“It’s good to see you too Mulder... Fuck did you really have to do that.”

Mulders fist had connected with my stomach, he then grabbed the gun from my weakened fingers and put it in his pocket.

“Where’s Scully, I’ll kill you right here if you’ve hurt her at all?”

“She’s inside and I haven’t touched her.”

“So why the fuck do you have her cuffed Krycek?”

“It’s not what you think Mulder…”

“It never is.”

Suddenly I no longer cared if I lived or died anymore, Mulder had rushed over to Scully so I took advantage of the open door and ran to the elevator. When that was nowhere in sight I took the stairs two at a time, then suddenly something hit me from behind and pushed me to the cold ground.

“Was you leaving so soon Alex?”

Mulder turned me over and shoved the gun into my bruised stomach, he then removed the safety at the same time I closed my eyes.

“What, don’t you have anything to say for yourself? Have you run out of lies Alex, no you’re too good a liar to be lost for words?”

“Just finish it Mulder, pull the fuckin trigger and end my sad pathetic life.”

I couldn’t do this anymore, maybe Spender had finally won and he’d ground me down to nothing. Hell, maybe they’d all won in the end, I was sure even Mulder would sleep far better on a night without me around. I hadn’t even realized I was crying at first, or that the strange sounds where actually coming from me. I flinched as Mulder reached out a hand and wiped the tears away, then I was even more lost as he stood and then put his gun away.

“I hate you for this Alex, making me want you so much and not having the strength to kill you. You were supposed to be the strong one and take care of me, shit this is a version of you that I can’t even stand to be around anymore.”

“Fox please…”

“Don’t ever call me that, you gave up that right when you returned to Spender. Now you’re nothing to me, so I’m going to walk away and just pretend you wasn’t even here.”

Mulder turned around and went back up the stairs, I sat there for a while praying he’d return and put a bullet in my heart. What was it that Mulder had said, this was a version of me that he couldn’t even stand to be around? So when it came right down to it, I was the Alex Krycek that he could never love or even want.

The pain in my chest hurt and I had to get the hell out of here, I finally reached my car and decided to go home and get wasted. Shit then there was Sam too, I could always hope that he was still out looking for me and I could be alone for a while with my thoughts. I also wanted to be alone with a full bottle of vodka and silence would be good too, not that anything in my life ever went as I wanted it to go.

I walked into my apartment and saw Sam sat on the couch, it wasn’t like I could even tell the man to fuck off and throw him out. Right now I was owned by Spender and the consortium, hell even the place I called home was owned by that cancerous bastard.

“I bet you think you’re really clever Alex, so did you have a good time after you gave me the slip?”

“I’m really not in the mood…”

“I personally don’t give a fuck about your mood, you’re nothing but a selfish bastard and you only give a shit about yourself.”

“Just fuck off and get the hell out of here then.”

“You know that I can’t do that, Spender gave me orders and I intend to follow them. I thought I was being fair with you Alex, yet you keep throwing everything back in my face all the time.”

“Have you finished, maybe you should accept who I am then and what I do. I always fuck up sooner or later, look it’s nothing personal Sam and I really can’t deal with any of this right now okay.”

“Will you at least tell me where you went, you know that you’re not allowed anywhere near Agent Mulder.”

“You don’t have to worry as I never went there, also it wasn’t my fault that he turned up and saw me.”

“So, I gather that’s why you’re sulking.”

“Fuck you, I guess he made me realize that I’m nothing more than a waste of space and should be put out of my misery.”

I walked past Sam and went into the kitchen to grab a drink, that was when I discovered every single bottle was gone. I stormed back into the room and grabbed hold of Sam’s jacket, not that it took him long to dislodge my arms and punch me in the stomach. Shit first Mulder had punched me and now Sam, I collapsed to the floor and held my stomach as the pain engulfed my body.

“What the fuck are you trying to do Alex, do you want to get yourself killed or something?”

“Maybe, shit all I wanted was a fuckin drink.”

“Sorry but I want you sober Alex, I trust you even less when you’ve been drinking.”

“I’m not two years old and I can do what the fuck I want.”

“I guess Agent Mulder really did put you in your place, look just get up and go lay down or something. Hell, you look like you haven’t slept in ages Alex, also I thought you were supposed to be staying alert and waiting for the Brit to call you?”

“I don’t need you mentioning Mulder to me or talk about him in any way at all, also I’ll be ready to deal with Spender when the time comes.”

I walked into the bedroom slamming the door behind me, right now I wanted to be alone with my own pain and suffering too. Mulders words had cut far deeper than I was prepared for, shit to know that you were second rate to a fuckin clone of all things. Spender had well and truly fucked me over this time and made people believe the clone was me, somehow I thought Scully was starting to believe me and she actually talked to me civil for once, well that was until Mulder showed up and saw her cuffed there.

Mulder was a man who would always believe everyone else above me, I guess I’d have to wonder if Scully would tell him the real reason that I was there to see her. Also, if he’d even believe her if she did, shit then I really started to panic when I heard the pounding on my apartment door. Well fuck whoever it was, Sam was out there and he could answer the fuckin door. I closed my eyes and tried to forget about everything and that even included Mulder, shit then suddenly my bedroom door slammed open and there stood the man in question.

I couldn’t understand where Sam was or why he’d let Mulder in here, however Mulder was fast and stormed across the bedroom and grabbed my tee shirt. Then as usual his other hand came up and he backhanded me across the face, all I could do was try moving away from him and the temper he was expressing.

“Do you have a death wish or something Alex, I was going to let you walk away and then Scully went and told me everything.”

“She did, what even about the clone and Spender?”

“Oh yeah, it also made me realize what a manipulative bastard you really are…”

“What, Fox please listen to…”

Suddenly he had his hands around my throat and was squeezing tight, I was actually starting to think he wouldn’t stop this time until I was dead. Then his hands were gone, however now he had his gun pressed against my temple.

“Get up Alex and do as I say, you made me play many games at my expense.”

“Fox it really wasn’t me…”

“Say that again and I’ll put a bullet in you, all I want to do is play a game with you Alex.”

Fox made me leave the bedroom, it was only then that I noticed Sam unconscious in the chair.

“Mulder will he be alright?”

“Poor Alex, are you scared that I hurt your lover?”

“He’s not my lover, he’s one of the men Spender sent to watch me and make sure I stay here.”

“Well I can’t say I think much of his job performance. Look he’ll wake up soon enough and will be okay, as for you Alex, you’ll do everything I say without complaining.”

“Fine, can we just get this over with then…”

I was led out to where his car was waiting, Mulder then forced me inside the car before getting in himself. For now, I decided to remain quiet and see where he planned to take me, Mulder was volatile and still had his gun within reach. We drove and I soon realized we were leaving the city behind us; the streetlights were becoming far and few between and within no time we were surrounded by darkness.

It was another twenty minutes or so before Mulder drove down a small track, then at the end I realized I could see the beach and a sea that looked dark and cold. Oh god was Mulder going to drown me out here, then just let my body wash away like it was nothing. Surely he wouldn’t do that, Mulder had said he loved me and couldn’t kill me.

“Alex, I said get out of the car.”

“Fox why are we here?”

“You’ll see, oh and stop calling me Fox all the time. You lost the right to call me that when you returned to Spender, so how does it feel having to take it up the ass from him?”

“You bastard, shit I already told you that it wasn’t me!”

“Yeah well I was there Alex, or have you forgotten?”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Out of the car now or I’ll drag you out…”

I stepped out of the car and was spun around, Fox then slammed me up against the car and kicked my legs apart.

“Come on Alex, you know the drill so let’s have those hands where I can see them.”

“Fox…”

“Hands on your fuckin head now, also I’ve already told you not to call me that anymore.”

I placed my hands on my head and hoped this wouldn’t escalate, Fox then ran his hands up and down my body as I stood there and shuddered at his touch. Soon though he had other ideas and pulled my hands behind my back, right now my reflexes were slow and he had me cuffed within minutes. Then suddenly something went over my eyes and I really started panicking, however with my hands behind my back I couldn’t remove the blindfold.

“It seems fitting using the one that you used on me, you always liked it when I couldn’t see what was coming next.” 

“Please don’t do this, shit I could never hurt you Fox.”

“Walk now Alex, that or I’ll just drag you along all the rocks.”

Fox grabbed hold of the cuffs and forced me to walk in front of him, yet every step made me nervous as hell because of how uneven the footing was. The rocks were hard beneath my feet, also I could taste the saltwater and hear the waves really close by.

I had no idea how long we walked for, Fox was always behind and kept propelling me forward. Shit I was terrified that he got pissed off and let me fall into the sea below, I knew it would be a painful death if I hit the rocks on the way down. I was sweating despite the cold air and starting to shake, and that alone wasn’t helping and I nearly stumbled a couple of times.

“Stop where you are Alex.”

“Why have we stopped here, please can we go back to the car Fox?”

I fell to my knees as his fist connected with my stomach once more, I knew it was already bruised and the pain made me feel momentarily light headed. I was now knelt here on the rocks and afraid to even stand up in case I passed out, I’d realized that Fox no longer had hold of the cuffs and I had no help at all.

“Will you stop calling me Fox, look I’m going to leave you here for a while so you can think about things.”

“Shit no you can’t leave me here.”

“You can think about all the things you did to me Alex, think about all the dangerous situations you put me in.”

I knew I was crying now and no longer cared, I was scared I’d panic and end up killing myself. Surly he couldn’t be that cruel and leave me here alone, yet I couldn’t even move my arms to see if he’d already gone.

“Alex calm down, stand still and wait until I return and you might survive.”

“Please, shit I’m scared Fox and I don’t want to die out here. Please don’t leave me here alone.”

I received no answer at all and knew he’d gone, so I could wait it out or try and crawl away while blindfolded. One false move and I’d be over the cliff edge, however staying here like this was driving me insane. I sat down on the hard ground and started sobbing, I was past the crying stage, this was full on sobbing and I was close to falling apart.

Time passed and nothing changed, in the end I struggled to get onto my feet. I hated having my arms behind my back as they were useless, not that it mattered anymore as I think I’d welcome death right now. Deep down this was far more than I could handle now, as my mind had suffered so much in the past few months alone. That was the reason I’d decided to stand up, it was time to get moving and accept what would be.

The first couple of steps were hard on my feet, the rocks were so uneven and I nearly fell over twice. Ha what a joke, if I fell, I wouldn’t even have my hands to break my fall. A couple more steps and then I stumbled, I only fell to my knees and the pain caused me to scream out. It was a stupid idea and I knew that, my knees already felt like they were cut and bruised from the fall alone.

In the end I couldn’t even be bothered to move, my brain wanted to shut down and I was mentally and physically exhausted now. Shit then I felt something touch my shoulder and I started screaming, however it was the hard slap to my face that brought me back to the present.

“Alex it’s me Mulder.”

I was too far gone to even speak, I had to stand there as the tears and snot ran down my face. I knew that I must look totally pathetic now, not that I could even wipe my own fuckin face.

“Alex I’m going to remove the blindfold; however the cuffs will remain until I take you back home okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

Fox removed the blindfold and I blinked a couple of times, the first thing I noticed was his face and the way he was grinning at me. Shit then I looked around and noticed where I were stood, I was stood on a pile of fuckin rocks and nothing more.

“You fuckin bastard, how the hell can you do that to someone?”

“Well I thought it was fun…”

I saw red and charged straight at him, I managed to knock him to the ground and wind him. Not that Fox would stay down and accept that he asked for it, suddenly he had me pinned to the ground and sat above me laughing. Shit my arms were pinned behind my back and I couldn’t even shake him off, in the end all I could do was close my eyes so I didn’t have to look at him.

“Try that again and I’ll kill you Alex.”

“You fuckin bastard, you made me think that I could die out there by falling over a fuckin cliff.”

“Get over yourself Alex, it was a game and nothing more.”

“A fuckin game…”

“Look you can get in the car and I’ll take you home, that or I can put the blindfold back on and you can walk.”

“You bastard, like I even have a fuckin choice.”

Fox pulled me up and shoved me back in the car, I then closed my eyes and tried to calm down a bit. Right now I wanted to hurt Fox and wipe that smile of his smug face, the feeling was new to me as I’d never wanted to hurt him in the past. I guess fear can do that to you, however soon I was too tired to even think and fell asleep.

I woke some time later and realized that I couldn’t breathe, it took me a few minutes to realize the reason why. Fox Mulder was kissing me with all he had, I even had his tongue deep inside my mouth too. At first I thought it had to be a dream, especially after the evening I’d just spent in the man’s company. Finally, we had to part as we both were in need of air, then I looked up from under my eyelashes and realized Fox was watching me.

“You’re home safe and sound Alex.”

“Yeah no thanks to you.”

“Well it was good for me, maybe we should do it again sometime.”

“I’m good, look just remove the cuffs as I’m tired.”

Fox got out of the car and came around to the passenger side, he then opened the door and helped me out. I’d noticed that he still had his gun in his hand, also he seemed a bit more wary of me as he removed the cuffs. Then Fox went to get back into the car, yet he had to have the final say before he drove off.

“I’ll never kill you Alex, however I do plan to have lots of fun with you in the future.”

Yeah right, it was sheer torture and not my idea of fun at all. I finally managed to hobble to my apartment and collapsed on the couch, it was right then that Sam walked out of the bathroom and noticed me.

“Shit you look a little worse for wear Alex, I presume that was Fox Mulder that hit me and abducted you?”

“Yeah, he’s off his fuckin head and took me for a drive to see the ocean.”

“Why do I have a feeling it wasn’t as pleasant as you’d have liked.”

I forced myself to stand and managed to pull my jeans off, I then sat back down on the couch and looked at my knees. Both were cut and badly bruised from the rocks, however right now I felt sick thinking about the game that Mulder had played with me.

“Stay there Alex and I’ll get some water to clean you up.”

“Can you look in the bathroom, in the medicine cabinet there should be some antiseptic cream?”

“Yeah will do.”

I decided to pull off my top and then the tee shirt beneath, great my stomach was already covered with a large purple bruise. Sam walked into the room and gasped when he saw the bruise and how bad it was.

“Lay down Alex and I’ll get you an ice pack.”

Sam was great and sorted my stomach, he then fully cleaned my knees before gently applying the cream to them.

“What happened Alex?”

“He fucked with my head that’s what, Mulder blindfolded me and made me climb up some rocks before leaving me there.”

“What, shit you could have slipped or even wound up dead.”

“I thought that too, however it was all a trick and I was only a few inches from where we started. I was never at risk of dying and he…”

“Hey, you’re okay now Alex, it’s okay to cry and just let it all go.”

“I was terrified and thought I’d die out there, shit how could he do something like that to me if he loves me?”

“He’s confused and hurt Alex, Spender obviously hurt him way deeper than you thought.”

“It won’t end here; Mulder will keep it up until I can’t take anymore. If I’d had my gun tonight, I would have…Oh god I would have killed myself just to end the torture.”

“That’s why you have to end this game and stay away from him.”

“How can I do that when he keeps breaking into my apartment, shit he already told me that he plans to play a lot more games with me.”

“Maybe we need to stay somewhere else, somewhere where you’ll be safe until the Brit wants you.”

“Where the hell would I go? Knowing Mulder he’s out there watching every move I make.”

“What about the club, I thought you had friends there?”

“Yeah that could work, you could always stay here Sam as it’s me he wants…”

“Alex I wasn’t born yesterday, plus this might work in our favour too.”

“How the hell do you work that out?”

“If I have to go somewhere, you’ll be safe and there will be rooms that I can leave you in.”

“Yeah okay, I’ll call Steve in the morning and see if he’s okay with it.”

“I think you should ring him now Alex, we could go there and we’d both sleep a lot better.”

“Okay I’ll call him now.”

I made the call to Steve and he was okay with everything, he assured me once again that I was a friend and always welcome there. Now I just had to re dress and get some stuff together, I’d overheard Sam and knew he was on the phone to Spender. I guess he was telling him what had happened and where he was taking me, now I just had to hope that the cancerous bastard didn’t want to pay me a visit while I were there. I had my own set of memories from the time I’d spent there with Spenders goons, not that this was the time to start thinking about that and what had happened to me.

Sam decided that we’d take his car as Mulder wouldn’t recognize it, to me this all just felt so wrong and like I had no choice. It was as if I were Sam’s prisoner and he planned to sell me out to Spender, well I did manage to pack my phone in the bag under my clothes.

Steve was there when we arrived and gave me a hug, he then let me use the phone to call the Englishman. At first it just rang and I had to give up in the end, then I was just about to walk away when the phone started ringing, I never thought twice as I turned and grabbed it.

“Yes, who is this speaking?”

“It’s me Alex Krycek.”

“What do you want Alex, I hadn’t expected to hear from you as you were meant to wait until I was ready.”

“Mulder changed a few things; he’s lost the plot and wants to torment the hell out of me.”

“So, what has changed that affects my plan?”

“I just wanted you to know I’m at the club if you need me, I’m also a little unsure how far I can trust Sam?”

“Alex you will not contact me again, the hit will take place within a week and then all this will be over.”

“Good, I’m sure I can manage to keep it together until then.”

“Yes, well remember this will be your only chance of freedom.”

“Yeah I understand.”

“Oh, and Alex…”

“What?”

“Sam cannot be trusted.”

“How do you know?”

“Alex it doesn’t matter how I know; you are to watch your back and deal with Spender when the time comes. I will call you and all I’ll say is do it now, you will kill Spender and anyone else that gets in your way.”

“Yeah I can do that, I also need to know where the clone is?”

“At present I have no idea, however I will let you know if I find out.”

With that the phone went dead, now I was left standing here thinking about Sam and what he might have planned. Worse was knowing I was stuck with him until after I dealt with Spender, well for tonight at least I’d behave and just grab some sleep and see where tomorrow led me.

I’d shared the room with Sam and was thankful there were two beds, the man had started acting strange around me and I had a feeling that Spender would get rid of me before I made a move on him. Shit I just had to keep my head together and keep an eye on everything and everyone. Soon Sam was up and dressed, he’d hardly seemed to even notice me and was in a world of his own today. I just drank the juice that was provided and sat on the bed waiting, well it looked like it wouldn’t be a long wait after all.

“Alex, I have to go out.”

“Where?”

“That doesn’t concern you right now.”

“So, to see Spender then?”

“Alex you know that I have to report to him, that or he’ll start thinking something suspicious is going on.”

“Yeah right, whatever you say Sam…”

“Alex don’t test my patience today, especially as you’re not going to like the next part.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know that I can’t leave you here unguarded.”

“Steve’s here and Paul, I’m sure they’ll make sure I stay put.”

“Sorry but Spender has left strict instructions for you, also for Steve and Paul too.”

“Such as…”

“No one is allowed to have anything to do with you while you’re here, they can feed you and do the basics but nothing more.”

“So what about me, because no way are you leaving me restrained in one of these rooms. I would be a target for any bloke wanting to get off, I take it you know what the rooms are used for most of the time?”

“Yeah I know, that’s why you won’t be staying here.”

“Great, so just what exactly has Spender ordered?”

“I’m to move you to the room downstairs and keep you locked in there while I’m out.”

“No fuckin way you’re leaving me down there, Spenders a sick bastard and will be getting his kicks out of it.”

“Well you don’t have a choice Alex.”

“You wanna bet on that?”

I soon stood up and started walking towards the door, shit it was just then that my legs started feeling really weak. Sam was soon there and shoved me back onto the bed while I fought him off, no fuckin way was I giving in easy. Sam had me pinned to the bed and I suddenly felt really scared, I didn’t want to go back in that room where they once tortured me.

“Alex calm down and stop fighting me, soon it won’t matter as you’ll be out cold anyway.”

“What the hell…”

“The orange juice was drugged Alex, soon you’ll pass out and then wake up in that room. No one will hurt you there I promise, I’ll leave the key near the bar so Steve can check on you later today.”

“You bastard…”

“Just give in and sleep Alex.”

“I fuckin hate you.”

“Yeah I know you do; look I’ll be back tomorrow and we can talk then.”

“Shit no, you can’t leave me in there for that long.”

“I have no choice Alex.”

“Why do you have to go until tomorrow, I don’t understand why talking to Spender could take that long?”

“Because he’s got something I might want, let’s just say I’m going to test out the merchandise before I commit to anything.”

“What the hell could he have that you would want?”

“What I want might surprise you Alex, also I don’t think you’d like it though.”

I tried so hard talking and trying to remain awake, yet my eyelids were becoming heavy and I knew sleep was close. Worse was knowing where I’d be when I next woke up, locked in a room to be caged and fed like an animal. Not that anything mattered now, my eyes finally closed as my mind and body gave in to the inevitable.

I woke sometime later and found myself in that dreaded room, I was laid on the table but not restrained. I’d done worse than this and could survive, I was here alone and would be free and safe. No one was restraining me and torturing me, if anything boredom would be my biggest problem right now. There was nothing in this room that would make time pass any faster, maybe when Steve brought lunch I could get him to let me go. Yeah right, Sam would have threatened him with Spender if he let me go.

Lunch came and went without any visitors at all, maybe Steve was busy with the club and would come as soon as he could. I sat up and put my arms around my knees, hell I might have felt safer if I’d wore a few more clothes. Not that I knew I’d be spending my time down here, otherwise I’d have been dressed and long gone before it had happened. Well hindsight wasn’t going to do me any favours now, then my only relief came when I heard the key in the lock. For a short time I’d have some company, shit then I looked up and saw Fox Mulder stood in the doorway.

“Oh fuck…”

“Did you really think that you could run away from me Alex?”

“Steve will be here in a minute…”

“No he won’t, you see I set a little distraction for Sam. The man was so busy that he forgot all about you, he also forgot to tell Steve that you’re down here.”

“No, he wouldn’t…”

“Face facts Alex, no one knows you’re down here and no one will be coming to your rescue.”

“What do you want from me Mulder?”

“To play a game and have some fun…”

Fuck this really couldn’t be happening to me, I knew I had to get past Mulder and get the hell out of this room fast. I jumped up off the table and tried shoving past the man, yet suddenly I was grabbed and slammed face first against the wall. I let loose and screamed as loud as I could without any luck, I knew that the music up there was way too loud and no one would hear me. Shit I also knew I was well and truly fucked if Mulder managed to shut and lock the door, as I knew from past experience that the room was fully soundproofed.

“Was you going somewhere Alex?”

“You can’t keep me down here like this Mulder…”

“Hey, I’m not the one keeping you in this room, that’s down to your new lover.”

“He’s not my fuckin lover…Just let me go then Mulder if this has nothing to do with you.”

“Alex I’m not the one who put you here, therefore it’s not my place to let you go. I just figured I’d have some fun with what’s available down here, that just happens to include you.”

Mulder let go of me and took a couple of steps back, I then had no choice but to turn and face him. I then started to slowly edge along the wall to get away from him, yet that just made him start laughing at me and I hated that more than anything.

“Alex where do you think you can go?”

“I don’t want you near me Mulder…”

“Well there’s nowhere to go Alex, also I did say that I wanted to have some fun with you.”

“Go to hell, I’ve seen your idea of fun Mulder and would rather pass if you don’t mind…”

“Yeah well I do mind.”

Mulder moved fast and punched me hard in the stomach, then he grabbed me by my hair and slammed my head against the hard wall. I was so lightheaded and felt really disorientated, that was why I wasn’t thinking and let Mulder lead me over to the empty table. Within seconds the bastard had one of my hands cuffed above my head, now I knew that I was well and truly fucked as Mulder glared at me.

“Let me fuckin go Mulder…You claim to love me, yet you can violently attack me and abuse me.”

“Maybe I should tell you what happened the last time I was in this room with you, better still I can show you. You see I could ask you the same question Alex, how could you do what you did to me? Sorry I forgot that I already know the reason, you could do it because it was just a fuckin job, I was a fuckin job to you and nothing more.”

“I could never do that to you Mulder.”

“Really, they were your own words Alex. Hell, all I longed for you to say you loved me, yet you couldn’t even do that could you?”

“Shit I do love you Mulder, I always have.”

“You would say anything to save your own skin, you always were a manipulative little bastard Alex.”

“You won’t believe me, will you?”

“No so just shut up.”

“Or what Mulder? You’ll punch me in the stomach again, believe me it’s that badly bruised from your fists that I probably wouldn’t even notice anymore.”

“Behave and stop fighting me then Alex, that way I won’t have to keep hurting you. Well I perhaps will, but maybe more in a sexual way.”

I didn’t want to give in to him, however it was only myself that got hurt every time I fought against him like this. Mulder came towards me and ran his hand down my chest, he then went to grab the waist band on my boxers. I was still fast when the need arose, within seconds I had his wrist in a vice like grip and refused to let go.

“Mulder don’t…”

“I was only looking at the bruises, however you won’t stop me doing what I want to you.”

I could be really stubborn at times too; all I did was grip his wrist even tighter to the point I knew he was in agony. Not that the bastard could ever fight fair, Mulder used his free hand to grab his gun and place it against my temple.

“Let go now Alex…”

“I doubt you’d shoot me Mulder, and personally I don’t give a fuck if you do so I’ll take my chances.”

“Yeah maybe you know me better than I thought, okay no I won’t kill you, however I could hurt you somewhere else.”

Within a split second the gun was gone and I breathed once more, fuck then suddenly he had his free hand wrapped tight around my balls and was squeezing hard. I cried out and the bastard just laughed once more.

“Behave Alex and I’ll let go, you have to accept that you’re not going anywhere and this is going to happen. I want you to let go of my wrist and place your hand above your head.”

“What so you can fuckin cuff that one too?”

“Yeah, it’s not like having it fee will help your chances of escape.”

Shit now my eyes were watering and the tears started to fall, the pain in my groin was unbearable now and I knew I had to let go of his wrist so the pain would stop. Worse was doing exactly as he wanted, I let go of his bruised wrist and placed my arm above my head. Mulder kept hold of me and never let up with his grip until I was restrained, now I lay here on the table with both my arms cuffed above my fuckin head.

“Well this is different Alex, especially now you’re the one on the receiving end of the punishment.”

“Let me go Mulder and I’ll find you the proof, as that seems to be the only way you’ll believe anything I say.”

“You must think I’m stupid Alex, at the moment I only have one thing on my mind and that’s you.”

“Gee I guess I’m the lucky one…”

“I meant I’m trying to figure out where to start, I don’t want you passing out on me right at the start do I.”

“I’m guessing that’s a rhetorical question.”

“Yeah as you have no say in anything. I really liked you Alex and then you betrayed me as a friend and a partner. Then you kidnaped me and brought me here, I still had some old feelings yet you forced me to hate you because of what you did to me. Then like a fuckin idiot I fell in love with you all over again, despite the fact you were abusing me and keeping me prisoner.”

“What you actually liked me when we were partners?”

“Yes, it was you that made me hate you because of your behaviour towards me. Look I fell in love with this abusive version of you, then true to the bastard that you are you just up and left because Spender said so.”

“How could you love the violent version of me Mulder…”

“That doesn’t matter right now, the point I’m making is how you come and go as you please. You turn up and then you leave me hurting all over again, now I want you to see how it feels to be used all the time.”

“So, what are you going to do to me Mulder?”

“Well first I thought we could start with an enema, humiliate you as you saw fit to do to me.”

“Please don’t do this…”

“Why does it bring back memories of what you did to me, that or was it a time long ago when Spender had you in this room?”

“What the fuck, how can you know about any of that Mulder?”

“Word gets around in a place like this Alex, right lay still so I can get on with this.”

“Like hell I will…”

I waited until Mulder came close and started kicking out at him, right now it was hard to get even one good kick in. Mulder was fast and grabbed hold of my closest leg, he then used a chain so I now had hardly any movement at all. I was too tired to fight him now and it was straining my arms, not that anything mattered anymore as I had no way of getting out of this.

“Hold still Alex, just try and relax while I cut away your boxers.”

“Mulder don’t…”

Shit within seconds the bastard had hold of my nipple and squeezed tight, then the tears ran down my cheeks as the pain became intolerable.

“Can you remember what you told me Alex?”

“No because it wasn’t me, why the fuck can’t you believe me?”

“Maybe because you’ve spent your whole life lying to everyone, you wouldn’t know truth if it hit you full on in the face. Anyway, as I was saying, you always told me it was going to happen no matter how much I moaned and protested about it.”

“I can’t make you see reason, can I?”

“No so you might as well shut up.”

Fox finally stopped squeezing my nipple and let go, then all I could do was watch as he pulled a pen knife from his pocket. Okay I wasn’t a total idiot and felt it was safer to remain still, now I lay here naked in front of the man who wanted to cause me so much pain.

“Lay very still Alex while I insert the tube, just remember this is just between the two of us and will remain that way for now. You were the one who saw fit to take me up there and humiliate me, then you fuckin made me enjoy it and for that you will pay.”

“I’m so sorry that Spender made you suffer so much…”

“Don’t you fuckin dare put the blame solely on someone else Alex, it’s time you accepted that you were the one doing it to me.”

Shit Mulder was far from gentle as he forced the tube inside my ass, then the pain became even worse as my body started to fill with warm water. I knew that I was moaning and making plenty of noise, all Mulder did was laugh and force the tube even deeper inside me.

“Hurts doesn’t it Alex, well believe me this is just the beginning and it will get far worse.”

I was struggling to keep it together, especially when Mulder finally released my ankles and fattened them higher up. Shit this was so fuckin humiliating and I closed my eyes praying it would end, especially when he yanked the tube out and I was forced to relieve myself where I lay.

“There you go Alex, at least you’ll be nice and clean for the next part. Hell, I bet you can’t even remember what you did to me?”

“It wasn’t me…”

“Sooner or later you will accept what you did, for now I will remind you so you know what to expect. You raped me Alex, shit you just laughed at me and used me like I was nothing at all.”

“Mulder I’d never do that to you; shit I wouldn’t even do that to my worst enemy.”

“You can’t lie about that to me considering I was your victim…”

“Mulder it’s not you, it would destroy you if you did that to someone. I’m not able to fight you and you know that, it would be the equivalent of shooting someone who was unarmed.”

“Shut the fuck up, do you think I’m not aware of that? That’s why I plan to use something else instead, this room has plenty of toys in here that I can use.”

“Shit and you think that makes it alright, you’re a criminal profiler Mulder and know better than that.”

“Hell, in this room I’m not even a fuckin fed anymore, you were the one who stripped me of everything when you had me here and that’s how it will stay.”

“Answer me one question Mulder.”

“What.”

“You think you’re in charge right now?”

“And, what’s your point?”

“If you want to be in charge remove the collar that you wear around your neck.”

“I can’t…”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me yours, however you never wanted me Alex and this is something I have to do. Maybe afterwards you might man up, be my master once more and punish me for what I do to you.”

“Is that really what you want Mulder?”

“Yeah that’s why I have to do this now.”

“Let me go now and I’ll punish you right here and now.”

“Nice try Alex, however there will be no question about you wanting to punish me after this.”

“Mulder…”

Mulder came towards me and suddenly kissed me, he gave it everything he had and it felt so passionate. I was lost and never wanted this to end as I loved him so much, then he pulled away and within seconds he forced a gag into my open mouth. Jesus I couldn’t even let him have my opinion on what he was doing, Fox Mulder believed that if he hurt me really bad his plan would work. Beat me enough so that I would hurt him in return, shit had he forgot about all the times he’d hit me and I never retaliated.

I did however like the fact that he did love me in some twisted way, also that he wore a collar and believed that he was mine. Not that it mattered in the way he wanted it to, as I could never give him what he wanted and craved so much. Now I could just lay here and watch as Mulder walked away, however he only went as far as the shelves and started looking at the things there.

“So many choices Alex, yet such little time for me to do much.”

Great with any luck Mulder would think Sam was due back sometime today, shit then I thought about how much pain he could cause me within a few minutes if he so chose. Well Mulder had said it was his intention to do just that, also some of the things he was grabbing backed up that he wasn’t all talk either. Mulder soon returned to the table and dropped a few things beside me, he then held up a couple of rather nasty looking nipple clamps.

“Don’t look so worried Alex, I will allow you some pleasure before the true pain starts. Well at least your nipples seem to like my attention, maybe later I can suck them and bite them until you are in agony.”

Talk about a sadistic fuck, the bastard would drag this out for as long as he possibly could. The man took great pleasure as he turned my nipples into tight hard little buds, holy fuck and then the pain was agonizing and my body felt like it was on fire.

“Well that’s one done; look I think it will be easier on you if we move straight onto the other one, don’t you?”

Great why bother asking me when I couldn’t even answer him, not that my opinion would count anyway. Personally, I’d be pleased if he left the other one the fuck alone, however the sweat covered my body and I was shaking by the time he’d done the second one. I’d known straight away that the equipment was not suitable for beginners, shit maybe Mulder thought that I got off on all of this too.

Then Mulder suddenly stood up and moved towards my open legs, shit this was far more humiliating than I thought possible. I think it was because it was Mulder, I’d always wanted him to respect me and never see me as low as I were right now.

“Breathe deep for me Alex, the next part will hurt too as I have no intention of preparing you too much. Ha, actually I plan to use practically nothing as I force this deep inside your ass.”

I looked towards Mulder to see what it was he’d just picked up, and that was when I realized not knowing might have made it somewhat easier. The man was fuckin sick and twisted, did he really think using that would change the outcome of what he was going to do.

I could feel the cool liquid as Mulder placed it against my tight ass, how the fuck could I just relax and accept what he was planning to do without fighting him. Right now there wasn’t a lot that I could do though, well other than tense my body up and make it far harder for him.

“Alex you know yourself that doing that is the worst thing you can possibly do.”

Mulder slapped my backside hard and then forced a finger inside me, shit even that was painful and I had to admit that the man was right about this. If I remained like this, he’d end up tearing me apart, shit I had to will myself to relax when he removed his finger so the next part would be somewhat easier. The man must have chosen the largest fuckin dildo on the shelf, yet as he pressed it against my ass I started to moan.

“This is going to happen Alex, actually hang on a minute…”

Mulder came over to my face and ran his hand down my soaked cheek, I knew that the sweat was now mixed with the tears I could no longer hold back. It was then that I realized just what he was doing, Mulder unfastened the gag and removed it totally before kissing me. It lasted a minute or so before he took up his previous position between my legs, yet his face had changed and now he stood there grinning at me.

“I just remembered the room’s soundproofed, so I thought it might add to the mood if I could hear you scream.”

“Mulder it’s not too…”

Suddenly I couldn’t even speak at all, well I guess I was far too busy screaming now to even think. Mulder had literally forced the monstrous thing deep inside me, he’d also used hardly any lube or prepared me at all. Shit now I lay here afraid to even move because of the pain, then the bastard pulled it out and laughed before forcing it back inside me.

“I’m going to fuckin kill you for this Mulder, I’ll rip you apart slowly and make sure you suffer the most agonizing death possible.”

“Big words from someone who can’t even manage to punish me.”

“Ha things have gone well beyond that Mulder; you wanted an owner and someone to deal with all your problems in life. Someone to punish you when your naughty, well believe me that’s something you’ll never have from me Mulder.”

“So just what did I get then Alex?”

“A fuckin assassin, just think of that and what it will be like when I finish you for good.”

“Yeah whatever you say Alex.”

The bastard just carried on fuckin me with the dildo, it was like he saw me as nothing more than a joke and a fuckin plaything. Well maybe that was what scared me the most, around him I was always useless and could never hurt him. Deep down I knew I could never carry out my threat towards him, however he wasn’t meant to know that though.

My head hurt and I felt really ill too, maybe that was why I thought I was hearing things. How the hell could I hear a key in the door, this room only had one key and always had so it wasn’t possible. Shit then suddenly the door stood open and Steve walked in, not that I could do more than listen as the flood gates opened.

“What the hell’s going on here, also why are you here Agent Mulder?”

“I came to pay Alex here a visit.”

“No one was meant to be down here with him, also I’d say your visit was far from wanted.”

“Yeah well I guess it’s time I got going, I’m sure you can get his lover to kiss him all better.”

“Agent Mulder I have no idea what your game is, however Alex is a close friend and I won’t have you touching him unless it’s what he wants.”

“How touching.”

“Look you’ve got all this wrong, I know you believe Alex did all those things to you but I think you’re wrong.”

“Hey, you’re welcome to him and all his lies.”

All I could do was watch as he pushed past Steve and left, then Steve came over towards me and I knew he could see everything that Mulder had done to me. Well he was a friend and helped without mentioning anything to purposely embarrass me, first he pulled the fuckin tornado out of my ass and threw it in the sink. That done he removed all the restraints from my arms and legs, holy fuck I couldn’t help but scream as the blood started to flow again.

“Shit Alex you look bad, was this revenge for what you did to him?”

“It was more revenge for what I didn’t do to him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It turns out that Agent Mulder liked the pain and attention he believes I gave him, he wanted to punish me for leaving him.”

“God that sounds so fucked up.”

“Tell me about it, he figured hurting me would make me retaliate.”

I rubbed my wrists and looked down at my naked body, it was at that moment I remembered the nipple clamps. Shit the pain would be horrendous when I removed them, Okay I counted to ten and then decided to remove them at the same time.

“Holy fuck, how the hell do people use them?”

“I’ll get you some ice to ease the pain.”

“Thanks Steve, can you also grab my clothes while you’re there?”

I sat there trying to get myself under control while I waited for Steve to return, I had to visit the Englishman and deal with Spender before it was too late and I wound up dead first. Right now, though I was a fuckin mess and would need to get my head together, first on the agenda was a quick shower and to try and feel somewhat like my old self. Steve stayed outside the shower and kept an eye on me until I was done, shit my legs were shaking and even getting dressed was proving hard right now. Holding a gun in this state would only get myself killed, I took a couple of pills and was ready to leave and then I saw Steve’s face.

“You have to let me go Steve.”

“Shit Spender will destroy me Alex, along with everyone else that I know.”

I knew he was right and I didn’t want to see him suffer because of me, then there was also Paul that could get caught up in the crossfire too.

“You’re going to have to trust me Steve, now more than ever. If you let me go I can deal with all of this before Sam even returns, look afterwards I swear I’ll come back here and he’ll never know.”

“So what if he decides to come back earlier, like tonight or something?”

“Tell him that Agent Mulder kidnaped me at gunpoint.”

“Shit really…”

“Yeah then that way there will be no come back on you, also Sam forgot to tell you I was even down there and that’s how Mulder managed to get in.”

“Well yeah I guess in a way it was his own fault, there’s just something about Sam that I don’t trust Alex.”

“Hey, it’s not just you, I’ve being told to be very careful around him and not to trust him at all.”

“Yeah well be careful Alex, hell I want to know you’re safe even if you don’t come back tomorrow.”

“Look I promise you that I’ll be back one way or another, well unless someone manages to take me out first.”

“Don’t talk like that Alex, here take this money and here’s the key to my car.”

“I can’t take this Steve.”

“Take it and go Alex, at least you’ll have to come back to return my car.”

“Hey, I would have come back anyway.”

“I know.”

Steve suddenly had me in a bear hug before pushing me away, he then walked out of the room without saying another word and just left me stood here. I stood for a few minutes and knew the time had come to move, I guess deep down I was worried how all of this would play out and who might wind up dead.

I made it outside and pressed the alarm on the remote Steve had given me, straight away the lights flashed on a car parked nearby. It turned out that he drove a black Lexus that would blend in, also I was thankful that most of the windows were heavily tinted and would somewhat hide me.

My first job was to get as far away from here as possible without stopping, I was well aware that the Englishman was staying away from the city and right now and that suited me just fine. On the way I pulled in at the first gas station I saw, Steve had the car full of gas and that wasn’t the reason I’d decided to make the stop. Right now, I just wanted something to eat and use the facilities, plus out here there was very little chance of seeing someone that might know me.

It was early evening when I reached my final destination, now I had to decide whether to see the Englishman tonight or stay in the car as it was late. Ha, not that I relished the idea of spending the night sleeping in the car, I guess I could blame Mulder for how my body felt right now. Fuck it the worst he could do was turn me away and tell me to fuck off, however if he did he’d have to find someone else willing to take Spender out for him.

Shit to this, in the end I decided to get out of the car and face the man and see what he had to say. The sooner Spender was dead the better I would feel, then afterwards I’d have to see what would happen with Sam and if he’d betray me too.

The lights were still on and I took that as a good sigh, I figured the man would have staff that would answer the door if he was already in bed. Once at the door I knocked and waited, I was then surprised when the Englishman himself answered the door.

“Alex what a surprise, I hadn’t expected to see you at my door…”

“We need to talk.”

“Well you had best come in; I don’t like discussing certain matters on my doorstep.”

I followed him through a hallway and was led into a large study, there he pointed towards a chair and told me to sit. The Englishman sat behind the huge mahogany desk and grabbed a couple of glasses, well right now I wasn’t going to refuse the drink he offered me.

“So, come on out with it Alex.”

“I have to take Spender out tonight; things have changed and he wants me dead.”

“How do you know that Alex?”

“Mulder has a thing with me lately and keeps stalking me, in the end I had to leave my apartment to avoid him and what he wanted to do to me. Sam talked me into going to the club, and he then drugged me and left me there while he went to see Spender.”

“Do you know why Sam went to see him?”

“No, he just said something about testing out the goods and he’d be back tomorrow.”

“So how come you’re here if Sam was holding you at the club?”

“Long story, Mulder found me and I had to talk Steve into letting me go. Look basically Spender no longer trusts me at all and I think he wants Sam to take care of me, so I kill Spender or they kill me.”

“You make it sound so simple Alex.”

“Yeah well to me it is, one bullet and all of this could be over and done with.”

“What so you think you can just walk in there blind?”

“Right now, it’s a chance I’m willing to take, at the end of the day it’s my life that’s on the line.”

“Very true, however you need to take Sam into consideration too. Also, I’ve still no idea where the clone is or if it still even exists, what if he has it stashed away ready to take over from you?”

“Admittingly it could be a setup, also the clone bleeds green so you’d soon know if it were me or not.”

“Alex the new clones bleed red, Spender could replace you and I might never know.”

“Yeah well that’s not my problem.”

“Well I can’t risk working for a clone, one who’d report back to Spender all the time.”

“Like I said, it’s not my problem.”

“Okay how about I put it a different way.”

“Go on then…”

“How would you like it if the clone resumed its relationship with Agent Mulder?”

“Shit I never thought about that.”

“No, I didn’t think so, stay here and I’ll see if I can find out anything. I’m not happy about it Alex, however I have a feeling you’ll do this despite what I say.”

“Yeah you got that right.”

“So, what about your feelings towards Agent Mulder?”

“What about them?”

“I thought you cared about him and what happens to him?”

“Yeah I do, however I’ve learnt a few things with regards to Mulder since I came back. Mulder doesn’t love me as me, he fell in love with the clone and gets off on what it does to him.”

“Maybe you should go a bit easier on the man.”

“Are you kidding, me go easy on him. The man has treat me like dirt and seems dead set on hurting me, believe me you don’t want to know just how sick and twisted the man really is.”

“I meant maybe you should consider his reasons Alex; Agent Mulder never had a perfect upbringing or family life.”

“Yeah well he’s not the only one that had a fucked up childhood, some of us wasn’t as privileged as him and had to get by.”

“Is that jealousy I hear Alex? I meant try and see why he likes the attention he received from the clone, the man has suffered and would take abuse rather than be alone. Look right now he knows no difference, maybe if you were to show him a different way he might learn from it.”

“I suppose it could be possible, however Mulder can be set in his ways and rather pig headed at times.”

“Hmm just like someone else I know…”

“Are you trying to imply that I’m the same as Mulder?”

“Yes Alex, as in certain ways you are both the same. You’re both passionate and will go to any lengths to get what you want. This is why you both need to sit down and talk, as hard as that might be to the two of you.”

“Yeah well the man hits me every time he sees me.”

“Look stay here and have another drink, I want you to swear you’ll remain in this room while I make some calls.”

“Yeah I’ll wait, just make it fast though as I want this over with.”

“Well I was being courteous Alex; you couldn’t leave here even if you wanted to without my say so.”

The Englishman walked out without another word; however I was the one that was cursing him for tricking me like this.

I didn’t like this one bit and started to wonder if it was all a setup, a fuckin trap that I’d walked into without anyone else’s help. Shit not that I could change anything now and had to see this through to the end, I was starting to get really nervous now and started pacing backwards and forwards in the study he’d left me in. To anyone else I would look as unstable as hell and that wouldn’t help me right now, the Englishman had to trust me and that I could get the job done without any fuck ups. Shit how long did it take him to find out something, I was till pacing when finally the study door re opened.

“Alex do sit down before you wear the carpet away.”

“Why, it won’t change how I feel or what I plan to do.”

“Oh, I’m well aware of that Alex, look just humour an old man and sit down.”

I looked at him and realized I had nothing to lose, however I might gain my freedom if I cooperated and did as the man asked. I ‘d no sooner sat and he was pouring us another drink, shit now I was becoming paranoid and feared he’d make me stay. Well it wouldn’t be the first time today someone had drugged me, only common sense told me he was drinking from the same bottle so it couldn’t be poisoned.

“Right I’ve checked out a few things and it would appear Spender’s at home.”

“That’s perfect, hell he won’t even see me coming either.”

“Alex it’s late now and you wouldn’t arrive until about four in the morning, when did you last sleep?”

“I’m okay, I managed to sleep last night and also part of today thanks to Sam.”

“Well I realize you won’t stop now until this is over and done with...”

“Yeah you’ve got that right.”

“I actually think you might be right Alex; you could just sneak in and kill him while he sleeps.”

“That’s the plan, straight in and straight back out. Did you find out anything with regards to Sam or the clone?”

“No nothing at all, you will have to be very careful Alex.”

“Yeah, I might have to deal with them later on, will you have someone ready to take care of the body if this all goes to plan?”

“Call me straight away if you manage to kill him, I will have someone there to clean up within twenty minutes.”

“That’s good, I take it our agreement still stands?”

“If the job is a success you walk away, go back to the club and pretend you were there all along. No one will come there as only Spender had an interest in the place, also it will give you the perfect alibi.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Alex you don’t have to stay there long, afterwards the world is your oyster and you can do as you please.”

“Great freedom and nothing to do or nowhere to go.”

“Maybe you should start with paying Agent Mulder a visit.”

“Maybe I might give him some space and see what happens, I guess I’m sick of being nothing more than his punchbag.”

“Well maybe time might help you then, you’ll need to prove yourself to him Alex and that will be hard.”

“Yeah near on impossible.”

“Just ask yourself if he’s worth the effort, then you’ll know which path you should follow.”

“First I’ll deal with certain people, and if all goes well, I’ll plan my future later.”

“Very well, I wish you luck and hope to hear from you in a few hours.”

“Yeah I guess it’s time I left.”

I said goodbye to the Englishman and returned to my car, I mentally prepared for the drive and the job ahead. At least it would be easy if Spender was in bed and asleep, as I had no plans to play games or drag this out despite what the man deserved. I knew many people would expect the likes of me to torture him before I killed him, yet I’d suffered enough over the years to learn it’s pointless.

I drove and a reasonable speed despite the empty roads, knowing my luck some cop would be waiting and I’d get stopped for speeding. That couldn’t happen tonight, and that was because I’d decided that Spender didn’t deserve to live another day. I had to admit that Sam worried me and so did the clone, how could I deal with something that looked just like me or even kill it? All I could do was pray that it was long gone and Spender had got fed up with it, shit it disturbed me beyond belief to think about the things Spender had done with the clone. Worse was knowing that was what the man wanted to do to me, maybe I’d check Spenders apartment out before calling the Englishman.

Everyone knew that Spender had a thing for young boys, also that he liked to keep videos and photos as mementos of the time spent with them. I guess that fact really disturbed me, I knew outwardly everyone would believe that it was me in bed with Spender. Right I had to clear my head and forget everything else, I was one block away from his apartment and had to be ready for anything.

I finally got out of my car and pulled my gloves on, I knew no one would think anything of it as the night had become bitter and cold. To me it was good because it helped me think and get things in perspective, I loved the peace and calm that the early morning brought with it. It was still dark and would be for a short time, I figured sunrise would be within the hour and I wanted this done by then.

The walk to his apartment building only took me five minutes, once there I pulled out my old FBI issue picklock and badge. I always found no one really questioned you when you had a gun and a badge, and that was what I wanted more than anything. You never knew when some tenants might arrive back from a night out, or some insomniac that couldn’t sleep. Yeah great way to think Alex, that thought had made me think about Mulder and the nights I’d watched him.

Well it didn’t matter now as I was going in, this was happening tonight one way or another. Personally, I’d prefer to be alive at the end of it all, however there were no guarantees with anything in my line of work. Soon I made my way inside and up to the third floor, all was quiet and most people must be asleep. I knew getting into his apartment would require more skill and patience, also at the end of the day I’d be walking in there blind and the man might even be awake.

I had visions of opening the door and finding the cancerous bastard stood there waiting, using his gun on me before I could even take aim. Shit I really had to pull myself together before I entered, at least I could hear no sounds coming from inside and that eased my nerves somewhat. Ever so slowly I started picking the lock until I heard it click, then I slowly opened the door and stepped over the threshold into darkness. I guess my only saving grace was knowing the layout of the place, I’d had the pleasure of having to come up here and wait to receive orders. Spender always preferred to do things here when he wanted no one knowing what he was up to, which seemed to be most of the time lately. The Englishman had said no one knew about the clone, that along with the club came down to Spender alone.

I only got so far into the room when I heard something and froze, at first, I presumed the smoker was awake and watching some late night tv alone. Shit it was only then that I recognized the voice, as I could hear Sam and knew Spender wasn’t in there alone. I listened again to see if I could hear what he was saying, fuck then it hit me just what the noises where that I was hearing.

My stomach heaved and I wanted to throw up just thinking about it, how the hell could someone as good looking as Sam sleep with Spender? There had to be something in it for him to go that far, well he’d told me he was testing out the goods so who knows.

I guess this might work in my favour, obviously both men were distracted and the noise might mask my entry. That, or one of them might get one over on me if I didn’t plan this out. Shit then what would I do with Sam? The Englishman had warned me that he wasn’t to be trusted, so did I walk in there and just kill them both right where they lay.

Fuck this as I wasn’t waiting any longer, I grabbed hold of the door handle and turned it ever so slowly. The room only had a very dim light on and no one noticed me, however that was when I realized there were three men in the room. I recognized Spender who was laid on his side asleep, Sam was the one that was on top of someone and fucking them. Okay it was now or never; I aimed the gun at Sam and finally made my presence known.

“Shit Alex…”

Get up and step away from the bed Sam.”

“Shit it’s not what you think…”

“Move now and then get that belt from that robe, I want you to tie your partner to the bed. One false move and I’ll put a bullet in one of you.”

Sam jumped up off the man he was on and I froze, shit it wasn’t something I’d expected or were prepared for either. There sprawled out on the bed was the clone of myself, the one that had made Mulder do all those horrible things just for amusement.”

“You look a bit shocked there dear boy…”

“Shut the fuck up Spender, one more word and you’re a dead man.”

Sam tied the clone’s hands to the headboard and stepped back, I decided it was time to turn a proper light on in this room so I could see exactly what I was up against. I noticed that Spenders clothes were on the floor also amongst all the items appeared to be his tie too.

“Right you can grab that tie and make sure Spenders restrained too, just remember your life depends on how you behave Sam.”

“Don’t worry I’ll do as you say Alex.”

Sam soon had Spender restrained too, he then just stood there watching me and waiting for my next move.

“So, this is the merchandise you were testing out Sam, you left me in that room so you could play with a clone of me?”

“It was to be my payment for getting rid of you, I knew I could never have you and saw this as the only alternative available.”

“You sick bastard, shit and there I was thinking that you were my friend.”

“I am your friend Alex.”

“Really, yet you stab me in the back and plan to do his dirty work for him?”

“Alex dear boy…”

“Shut the fuck up Spender, you’ll get your say when I deal with you. Right now I plan on dealing with just Sam, maybe I’ll deal with you all one by one.”

“Alex you knew that I’d be returning home and leaving for Tunisia soon, you also know that you would stay here and I’d be leaving alone.”

“So what, there are plenty more men out there. No you had to make a deal with the devil himself, one that will ultimately cost you your life.”

“So that’s it, I take it you’re planning to kill me too?”

“I can’t leave any witnesses behind Sam, there are too many people out there who’ll do it if I don’t. I work for a man who wants to see Spender dead and anyone that associates with him. It would come down to me ending your life, that or someone would see me as a failure and end mine.”

“I could go back to Tunisia today, that way no one would know I was still alive. Please Alex, look I made one mistake and don’t deserve to die for it.”

“Okay how about I call my employer and let him decide, there’s one thing I do know for sure though.”

“What’s that, I’ll do anything you say Alex and more.”

“The clone won’t be going with you.”

“Yeah I figured that one out myself.”

“Sit on the end of the bed while I make the call, on wrong move and I’ll take the decision into my own hands.”

“Yeah I’ll do as you say, please just try and make him see reason.”

I kept the gun trained on Sam as I pulled out my phone, a press of just one button and the phone started ringing. I knew it was late and that the Englishman wouldn’t be happy about the call, however I knew he’d be awake and I didn’t want to make any mistakes. This was the closest I’d been to freedom in many years and I couldn’t mess it up, that’s why I’d do whatever my temporary boss wanted from me.

“Yes, is it done Alex?”

“Not exactly, I got a bit more than I bargained for and want to know how I proceed.”

“Would you care to explain what your current situation is right now; I take it that you’re at Spender’s apartment?”

“Yeah I’m here, however it turns out Spender wasn’t home alone.”

“You had better tell me who else is there Alex, if people walk, they can also talk and name you as the assassin.”

“That’s why I called you, as chances are they’ll also know who I’m working for too.”

“Very true, also right now I’m unable to deal with anyone knowing about my part in this.”

“Yeah that’s what I thought.”

“Who’s there with you Alex?”

“I came in the bedroom to find Spender in bed asleep, also Sam’s here along with the clone.”

“So there really is a clone, well that makes me wonder what Spender had planned in the long run.”

“Sam is here to test out the merchandise, apparently the clone was Sam’s payment for killing me.”

“So, Sam was interested in the clone too, well I suppose it has potential if he wants an assassin.”

“Sam didn’t want an assassin; look he was in bed fucking it when I walked in and caught them.”

“A little less detail would suffice Alex, so basically he wanted the clone in the same way as Spender did?”

“Yeah it would appear that way.”

“I already warned you that the man could not be trusted, he would kill you in a heartbeat if it got him what he wanted Alex. You need to remember who the man really is underneath, he’s nothing more than a thug in a uniform.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right.”

I thought back to my first few days in that prison cell, back to when the man was willing to show me his true colours by putting me in hospital. In that respect he was like Spender, he used people to fuel his own sick and twisted games.

“Alex are you still there?”

“Yeah I was just thinking that’s all.”

“So, do you actually want my opinion?”

“Yeah, I’ll stand by your decision no matter what you decide.”

“Very well, no one other than you must leave that room alive.”

“Yeah I understand, I’ll call you back when I’m finished.”

“Good, then I will send someone over to deal with all three of the bodies. I take it that you’ll have no problem killing the clone, I need to know as it can’t walk away from this?”

“No, I don’t have a problem with that at all, believe me I don’t like someone else wearing my face.”

“Good.”

The Englishman hung up on me, I then pocketed my phone and looked at Sam as he sat there. Within seconds I aimed and fired, the bullet killing him before he even had time to process what was happening. Well they do say all’s fair in love and war, and at the end of the day this was a war I had to win to guarantee my freedom. It was also myself or them at the end of the day, I could be a bastard at times but I had nothing on me compared to that cancerous bastard.

Thinking about Spender made me realize that I had a job to do and fast, well I decided that Spender would be up next as I could see the fear in his eyes. I went to the bed and looked down at him, fuck it was at that moment I realized just how much I despised the man.

“So, any last words Spender?”

“Alex dear boy, you know that I can help you if you let me…”

“Really? Believe me I know exactly what you had planned for me, I also know what you did to Fox Mulder too.”

“The clone was only a temporary measure Alex…”

“You couldn’t have me or even control me and that pissed you off, so you send me to another fuckin country after making a clone of me. I bet it was a wet dream come true?”

“It’s not what you think Alex…”

“Just tell me why you brought me back, originally I was led to believe you’d kill me and then replace me with the clone. Now here you are trying to get rid of it, so I figured it’s a reject or you made more than one.”

“First there was only ever one Alex, also I admit that I hated you when you wouldn’t fully give yourself to me as we could have gone so far together. I guess I saw the clone as an alternative way, yet in the end it betrayed me as much as you have.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“I sent the clone to break Agent Mulder, the man had to pay for the trouble he was causing and the information you gave him. It should have been so easy to grind him to nothing; you see I made a few alterations to the clones brain patterns.”

“What alterations, shit you made it enjoy hurting him and causing him pain.”

“Well it was meant to be a harsh lesson for Fox Mulder; however the clone couldn’t quite get over your hang ups regarding the man in question. I guess to a certain degree it liked him too much and the power it had over him.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you were jealous of what it had with Mulder?”

“The clone was mine Alex; it was meant to want to be with me and not him. In the end I had to go there and reclaim what was mine, it was the only way to take control and deal with the problem head on.”

“So, you fucked it in front of Mulder so you could prove a point?”

“That and also I knew that the clone hated having someone top him, just as you do too Alex.”

“Yeah well you can leave my sex life out of this, tell me where the photos are and I might let you live.”

“What photos Alex?”

“Don’t play games with me old man, right now I hold all the cards and can end this in seconds. Then afterwards I will tear this place apart and find the photos for myself, so in the end I’ll be the only winner unless you cooperate with me.”

“Fine, over in the closet you’ll find a box with them in.”

I walked over to the closet and pulled out a box, inside there were folders all with names on or dates. Ha maybe he never knew the names of the rent boys he brought back here, well mine had my name and that was all that mattered right now. I realized there was over a hundred photos in the box and the content made me feel sick, every photo was of the clone naked and tied to the bed or something else. I also noticed all the whip marks and realized what Spender had done, to be honest I was glad it wasn’t me as the man was one sick twisted fuck.

My worst fear was anyone seeing them, no one would know from the photos that it was a clone and not me. Shit there was no way I wanted anyone thinking I had a thing for Spender, or that I did it to get a step up the ladder so to speak. I went back over to the bed and knelt down, the man looked rather nervous and I knew he was hoping I’d keep my word.

“You’re one sick bastard Spender.”

“We all have our vices Alex; I’m sure Agent Mulder is yours. Look I gave you what you asked for, now it’s time for you to keep your word and let me go.”

“It’s funny how some people can be trusted on their word alone, well to me actions speak louder than words and you deserve all you get Spender.”

“You promised…”

“Words are cheap, and now it’s time to send the devil back to hell.”

I raised the gun to his temple and fired, I was just thankful that I’d fitted the silencer and no one would be any wiser. Even so, I knew it would be daylight soon and I still had the clone to deal with, who for some reason had remained quiet throughout the whole ordeal. This part was what was troubling me the most and I knew it would be hard, shit in all honesty I’d thought killing the clone would have being the easiest of the three. Well maybe I should just keep reminding myself what it did to Mulder, god then worse was thinking about the clone and Spender together here in this very room

The photo’s had disturbed me far more than I’d thought it would, some of them were far too graphic and now I could see for myself that the clone did indeed bleed red. Spender could have killed me and no one would have known any different, so really one of us had to die and it damn well wasn’t going to be me.

I moved to the other side of the bed and knelt down beside the clone, it was then that I could see the true fear that radiated from him. I couldn’t help myself and had to take a closer look, at the end of the day this is what I myself must look like to others. Did I really come across as looking that scared and small, it was like looking at a child that someone had just told off.

“I take it you’re aware that I’m going to kill you, you have to die today as it’s the only way to put this right.”

“Is that what you really believe, do you think by destroying me your life will suddenly be perfect?”

“No but it will be a start.”

“I think you overlook that I am you and know you inside out, Spender only changed certain things that would please him.”

“Yeah I noticed that the bastard made you the way you are, but you could have changed.”

“Changed how?”

“You could have got out and ran.”

“What just like you did Alex?”

“It was different for me.”

“How the hell do you work that one out?”

“Because I have one thing you don’t, I actually have someone that I care about and didn’t want to see him get hurt.”

“I take it you’re referring to Fox Mulder, god that man was so much fun to use and break.”

“You fuckin bastard…”

I suddenly found myself with my hands around his throat and I started choking him, it was only at the last minute I realized what I was doing. I couldn’t do it with my bare hands, there had to be no come back on me for any of what happens here. I finally let go and grabbed my gun off the floor, I had to do this without getting myself worked up and thinking of all the things he’d done.

“Finish it Alex, I thought you’d have liked to kill me bare handed.”

“You know nothing at all.”

“Really, well I know how easy Fox Mulder is to bring to heel. I took him to that room thinking he’d be a hard man to break, yet within days the man was falling apart and hated me for what I was doing to him.”

“You should have let him go.”

“Why, it turned out that he’s a kinky fucker and actually craved the pain and humiliation.”

I couldn’t help myself or hold back, within seconds I used the gun to strike him hard across the face. Blood erupted from his split lip and I felt sick just looking at it, I guess I’d seen myself so many times in the past looking the exact same way.

“You had him do things that someone like him should never have to do, I heard all about you’re visit to his office and what happened with Skinner.”

“He wanted it; shit he’d have walked out if what I wanted had repulsed him.”

“He did it because he loves you and was afraid you’d leave him.”

“Well I made it perfectly clear from the start, I never loved him or told him my feelings were mutual.”

“That’s why what you did was far worse.”

“How the hell was it worse?”

“Because he was vulnerable and you exploited that fact, Mulder was lonely and would accept anything from you no matter what it was. You gave him the company he craved and he was scared he’d end up alone, worse was that he actually loved someone like you.”

“Fox Mulder was nothing more than a job, at the end of the day Spender owns me and I do as he says.”

“Yeah he proved that when he fucked you on Mulders bed, you soon bent over for that sad cancerous fuck.”

“You’re just jealous of what Mulder and I shared together, that I was the one that was far more capable of getting what I wanted.”

“Fuck you, you got what you wanted because you abused people and preyed on their weaknesses.”

“Who cares, I got to fuck him at the end of the day. You’re pathetic and will never have someone like Mulder, well at least not until you grow a fuckin backbone.”

“Fuck you.”

I couldn’t take this anymore; was I like the clone and such a fuckin smug bastard. My head hurt and the clone just made the pain grow inside my head, one bullet and my job here was done.

“Well I’m the one that will be walking out of here alive, so in some ways I’m far more superior than you all.”

I never even gave him chance to say another word, within half an hour I’d just killed three men that in some way or another had made my life hell. Yet I sat back with my back pressed against the wall and cried, no actually I was sobbing for everything that had come and gone in my pathetic life. Right now, someone could have put a bullet in my head and I’d accept it as the pain was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

I knew I had to pull myself together and call the Englishman with the news, shit I was sat in a room with three dead bodies, all that carried a bullet from the gun that I sat here nursing in my own hands. I guess I could just turn it around and use it on myself, yet I couldn’t bring myself to commit that one final act against myself. Ha, what was the point of all this and what I did, it would be pointless to kill myself and deep down I knew that. Not that it changed anything, I still couldn’t bring myself to move and get the hell out of here and that could cost me my life. I knew that I couldn’t spend my life trapped in some fuckin prison cell again, I was contemplating life and what I should do now when my phone distracted my thoughts.

“I was expecting a call Alex.”

“Sorry, I guess things took a little longer than I’d expected.”

“So, would you care to tell me what the situation is now Alex, I need to be kept informed so that I can deal with matters as they arise.”

“They’re all dead, I killed all three of them…”

“You sound somewhat distracted, Alex you have to be honest with me and tell me your state of mind right now.”

“I’m okay…”

“I did say to be honest Alex, I won’t think any less of you if something is wrong.”

“I can’t put it into words, shit I can’t even get up off the floor and leave here.”

“You’ve done well Alex and it’s only natural to feel somewhat depressed, however you must leave now if you still value your shot at freedom.”

“Yeah I know, I’m just so…”

“Alex you have to listen to me, you’ve got ten minutes before my men come in to clear the place up. Once they arrive you’ll be in the way, that or you’ll contaminate the place after they leave and that will be bad for you.”

“Yeah I get the point, I’ll be gone in a couple of minutes so you don’t have to worry.”

“Very good, just go somewhere and lay low for a while Alex and soon it will all blow over.”

“If you say so.”

“Oh, one other thing, someone saw Agent Mulder outside your apartment an hour or so ago.”

“Shit what the hell did he want, Mulder knew I was at the club so I’ve no idea why he went there.”

“Maybe he thought you’d returned home and wanted to see you. However for now I’d advise you to stay away from your apartment.”

“Don’t worry as I intend to stay far away until I know what Mulders game is.”

“Very well, leave now Alex and get on with the rest of your life.”

The Englishman hung up and I suddenly felt alone once again, yet this time I knew I couldn’t sit here and wallow in my own self pity. I also knew that he was right and I couldn’t go home for some time if ever, basically I’d have to stay at the club for a while and manage with what little I had with me.

Great I had the one set of clothes that I stood up in, other than that I had nothing as all my stuff was at my apartment. Hell, even my money and bank stuff along with my car. Well it looked like Mulder wanted something more from me, however I was hoping he’d get the message and think I’d done a runner or something again.

I finally managed to stand and grabbed the folder full of photos, once I was far enough away from here I’d take care of them once and for all. Shit then like a fuckin idiot I’d glanced at the bed, just seeing my face upon that dead body was enough to scare me for life and cause nightmares. I had to get out of here before I drove myself mad with what I saw, this was no longer somewhere that I should be if I wanted to escape the mental torture.

Finally, I made sure I’d left nothing behind and left this hell hole, within minutes of leaving I saw the dark cars pull to a stop and knew they were the clean up crew and that soon the evidence would all be gone. I had to stop thinking about that apartment and what had happened in there, my only job now was to return to Steve’s car and drive back to the club.

I decided to take the scenic route back as I was in no hurry, also deep down I was worried that Mulder might decide to go back there looking for me again. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t go out of my way to avoid him, however right now Mulders behaviour and attitude was really started to scare me and creep me out. Okay I was also afraid he’d do something to me that he might later regret, that or do something that I myself might regret and can’t move on from.

Soon I was parked up in the middle of nowhere, there were no cars or people around and it was perfect for what I had planned. Soon I was sat on the dry dirt holding the photos in one hand and a lighter in the other, I then pulled out the photos and set fire to them one by one.

I’d accepted that it wasn’t me in the photos and that I had nothing to be ashamed of, I just didn’t want them falling into the wrong hands as everyone would believe it to be me. Okay a big part of me didn’t want Mulder seeing them, I wanted Mulder to like me for the man I really am and that was nothing like the clone.

One by one the photos turned to ash, I then sat and waited until the fire had burnt fully out before standing once more. I then rubbed my foot through the ash making sure everything was gone, only then did I return to the car and resume my journey towards the club.

Once there I parked the car up and just sat there thinking, well my first job would have to be getting myself another car until I could go home again. Right now all I wanted was a shower and a decent night’s sleep, some time to think and work out what to do with my new found freedom. The club was packed and as noisy as ever, yet in a strange way it made me feel somewhat alive and human again. Steve was working the bar and noticed me enter, without a word he poured me a large vodka and I drank it down neat.

“God I needed that, oh your cars outside and it’s still in one piece.”

“Alex I’m more concerned about you and what happened, it’s just you look rather rough that’s all.”

“Well you won’t have to worry about your club any more as Spender’s dead, the rest of the consortium have no interest in it or you.”

“That’s good to know, I really appreciate you coming back here and telling me everything Alex.”

“I promised, plus I had to return your car anyway.”

“So, what now?”

“Well I can’t go home as Mulder’s still looking for me, plus I want some time to make sure the Englishman meant what he said about my freedom.”

“Yeah that’s understandable, well you’re more than welcome to stay here Alex.”

“All I want right now is a hot shower and some sleep, tomorrow I will try and work out everything else.”

“Hold on, I’ll get you a key, room twenty is empty and no one will bother you there.”

“Is there any chance you can ask the doorman to keep Mulder out if he shows, I’ll deal with him in my own time and when I feel up to it.”

“I’ll do it as soon as you go to your room, will Sam be showing up too or have you sorted your differences out?”

“Sam’s dead along with the clone, let’s just say that they were all literally in bed together.”

“Shit, god I’m sorry Alex.”

“Steve it’s done now so don’t worry about me; we can talk again in the morning if you want but I need some sleep.”

“Yeah no problem, put your clothes outside the door in a bag and I’ll get them cleaned for morning.”

Steve handed me the key and I soon located the right room, once inside I stripped off and headed straight towards the shower to clean myself up. I’d always hated how dirty I felt after killing someone, yet deep down I knew it was mostly in my head and I couldn’t just wash it away so easy. I must have stayed under the warm water for over an hour until it ran cold, I then grabbed a towel and bagged up all my clothes.

Soon I’d put my clothes outside the door as Steve asked, I then made sure I had my gun loaded and under the pillow before I got into bed. Well I hope no one did try breaking into the room tonight, especially considering the towel was my only form of clothing until morning.

I lay in the bed just thinking about things, why did your brain always work overtime when you wanted to go to sleep. I hated the way it happened most nights lately, as come morning I’d be more exhausted than before I went to bed. Well it wasn’t like I had to be up early or anything, so maybe I should use this time and remain in bed until I felt fully refreshed.

Great then suddenly I started thinking about Mulder and what he wanted, I still couldn’t believe he’d gone to my apartment yet again in search of me. Now I was also wondering how far the man would have gone when we were in the basement, what would Mulder have done if Steve hadn’t shown up when he did.

Mulder really believed he’d get me to respond and fight back, shit I couldn’t do some of the things he wanted no matter how hard I let him hurt me. Mulder was a top profiler and a very intelligent man, surely he could see that hurting me would only make me withdraw from him and try to avoid him. I couldn’t hurt him before, so how the hell was I supposed to start now.

Mulder didn’t want me to just fight back and hit him, god the man wanted me to torture him and abuse him. I’d never raised my hand to him, shit I knew all this thinking was going to drive me crazy before it was all over. Then it hit me what Mulder wanted far more than anything, he wanted Spender taken down and to see the man dead.

I lay there thinking about what I’d done and what I still had to do, deep down I knew I had to go and see Mulder to try and sort all of this out before it got out of hand. I would be the one to inform him that Spender was dead and that I’d killed him, maybe then he’d show me some leniency. Of course it could all go horribly wrong and I might end up dead myself, yet my mind was made up and there was no changing it now. Tomorrow I would go and see Mulder, I’d hand him my own gun if it was what he wanted from me.

Morning soon came around and my nerves were on edge right now, I guess the idea of seeing Mulder face to face felt like a good idea last night. Doubts had come just as morning had; shit I knew I’d have to be suicidal just thinking about what I had planned for today.

First, I opened the door and retrieved the bag of clean clothes. Once dressed I went to see Steve and grab a much needed coffee. Maybe I should substitute the coffee and start on the hard stuff instead, however right now none of that mattered as Mulder would be at the hoover right now working. Steve brought me a coffee and sat down beside me, I was far more grateful than he’d ever know for all the help he was giving me right now and in the past.

“So how are you feeling this morning Alex?”

“Shit in all honesty I don’t know, I had so many plans last night and then morning came.”

“Maybe you should take some time for yourself, get your head sorted out and then start making all the decisions.”

“I need to see Mulder later; he has a right to know that Spender’s dead and no longer a threat to him.”

“Alex I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough.”

“I want him to find out from me, I also have to tell him about the clone too.”

“Well you’re either insane or in love, and I know you well enough to work out that you’re far from insane.”

“Thanks, however this love thing might just end up making me do insane things though.”

“Do you want me to go with you, Mulder seemed to get on okay with me?”

“Thanks for the offer Steve, this is something I have to go and face on my own no matter what the cost may be.”

“So, are you planning on staying here for a while?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be gone too long anyway. Right now I need to call a cab and go sort a car out, I have a safety deposit box with some money in for emergencies.”

“Oh yeah about the car situation.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your car is there Steve, shit just let me know if I damaged it so I can pay you…”

“Will you calm down Alex, I sent a couple of the doormen over to your place last night that’s all.”

“What for?”

“Shit I hope you don’t mind what we did, one of them managed to pick the lock and get inside.”

“I don’t understand.”

Steve stood and fished around in his jeans pocket, he then pulled out a set of keys and I noticed the fox charm straight away. Great now the tears were starting to fall as realization set in, as I knew the man had gone out on a limb to help me and was true friend.

“We had to break in to get your car keys, I figured you’d end up having to break in yourself when you returned.”

“Yeah Sam had my other set of keys, shit I need to get my locks changed anyway.”

“We grabbed a bag of clothes so you had some extra ones, also you’ll find your car parked out front too.”

“Shit, I don’t even know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“But you didn’t have to go to all that trouble for me.”

“You still don’t believe that you’re worth helping do you Alex?”

“How can I be after the things I’ve done…”

“Alex you never did anything without a reason, you are a friend and I’ll do anything to help you. Shit I let you down when you were in that room, because of me Mulder hurt you and it could have ended nasty.”

“Steve that wasn’t your fault, Sam was the one who was meant to give you the key and let you know I was down there. At the end of the day it was Mulder who was to blame, he purposely distracted Sam so he’d forget to tell you I was there.”

“Shit the conniving bastard.”

“Yeah well Mulder’s good at getting his own way, sometimes he can be so infuriating and annoying…”

“Yet you love him and take whatever he gives you.”

“Yeah maybe I’m an idiot after all, however I can’t give him what he wants from me.”

“All I can suggest is that you take each day as it comes, maybe one day he’ll see the real you Alex.”

“Yeah right, Mulder only ever sees what he wants to see.”

“So, is it really wise you going there tonight?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s wise or not, it’s something that I have to do for my own peace of mind.”

“Very well, I can see that you’ve made up your mind.”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll stay here and have a few drinks until evening.”

“You do that, just don’t drink too much though.”

“Yeah I’ll be careful, oh and thanks again for everything Steve.”

“You’re welcome.”

Soon I was sat at the table alone once more, not that it bothered me as the club was quiet for now and I’d be gone before night. I ordered a few drinks and just spent my time watching people as they came and went. That was something that had always being a pastime of mine, however I’d always loved watching Fox more than anyone else. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking like this when I had to see him soon, it was only then that I realized just how late it was.

I went to stand and realized I’d drank far more than I’d planned, however I was on a mission and I’d see it through no matter what. First, I had to get past Steve without him seeing how drunk I was, maybe I should call a cab instead of driving over to Hegal place. Yeah right, I left the building and went to my own car and got in. Drunk or not I planned to drive over there, also I wanted to do it before I chickened out and changed my mind.

Finally, I reached Hegal place and was still in one piece, okay maybe I’d come close a couple of times to rear ending the odd car. There was also a couple of times I’d ran a red light too, but I was alive and I hadn’t killed anyone in the drive over here either. I guess to me that was all a plus, oh and the fact I’d avoided the law enforcement too.

I got out and locked my car up, once done I made my way to Mulders apartment and to what awaited me there. It took some time to work the lift and finally reach the floor I wanted, I guess the silence was good too and I might have time to compose myself before I faced the man in question. Within seconds I’d popped the lock and was inside his apartment, it was also silent here too and very dark which was good.

I flopped down on his couch and closed my eyes, shit I must be a fuckin idiot to come here after the amount I’d drank tonight. Maybe I might get lucky and he’ll work until late, that way I could clear my head and plan what I would say to him. Okay maybe nothing in life ever went my fuckin way, I’d only sat for five minutes when I heard his key in the door and then it open. I could hear Mulder move around and knew he was getting closer, then he turned on a small lamp and the room was filled with a soft light.

“Well what a surprise this is Alex, considering I’ve tried catching up with you a few times now.”

“Yeah well here I am.”

Mulder was on me within seconds and retrieved my gun, he was never satisfied and started searching my pockets to see what else he might find.

“Shit are you drunk Alex, funny because I’d swear that’s your car parked illegally outside my building.”

“Yeah so I’m guilty on both counts, big deal.”

“You could have killed yourself, that or some innocent person.”

I never even had a chance to answer him, within seconds his fist connected with my face causing my lip to split open. Fuck this, I hated it when he thought he was better than me and hit me when I was down. So in true Alex style, I wiped my lip with the back of my hand and sneered at the man.

“Is that the best you’ve got Alex, you can give me your keys as you won’t be needing them until you sober up.”

I stood and put my hand in my jeans pocket and tried to pull out my keys, after a couple of minutes Mulder started moaning about having to wait so long for me to do anything. The next thing I knew was Mulder grabbing me and retrieving the key for himself, shit I’d swear the man took advantage and groped me while he was there. Once done he pushed me back onto the couch, shit then the bastard grabbed his cuffs and fastened my hands together.

“There you go, you can sit like that until you sober up a bit. Oh, and also you can tell me what you want too, as you didn’t seem to want the same things I did.”

“That hasn’t changed Mulder, I’ve already told you that it wasn’t me.”

“Yeah apparently it was a clone, sorry I forgot that you’re incapable of hurting anyone.”

“Only you Mulder, believe me I’m no pushover.”

“Funny, right now you’re pathetic Alex and should have stayed away until you sobered up.”

“You can’t keep me here like this Mulder.”

“Why not, you still haven’t even told me why you’re here?”

“I was celebrating and wanted to share my news with you too.”

“What news?”

“I killed that smoking bastard along with the clone that impersonated me while I was indisposed.”

“What, you expect me to just believe you. You could be lying Alex, after all you’re really experienced with it.”

“I wouldn’t have come here if it were a lie.”

“Fine, show me the proof Alex.”

“I can get it for you Fox, all I have to do is make one call and you’ll know I’m telling the truth.”

“Fine do it then, however you will suffer if you’re lying to me again.”

“I swear I’m not lying Mulder, look I’ll even put it on loudspeaker so that you can hear for yourself.”

Mulder had to get the phone from my pocket, it wasn’t easy doing everything when you were drunk and had your fuckin hands cuffed together. I did manage to flip it open and hit a button, I then turned on the loudspeaker and placed the phone on the coffee table. At first, I thought no one would answer it as it was late, then finally I was rewarded with a voice at the other end.

“Would you care to tell me why you’re ringing so late Alex?”

“I need you to confirm what happened with Spender and the clone, look I need you to tell Mulder that Spenders dead and won’t be bothering him anymore.”

“Alex you sound rather drunk.”

“Yeah well that doesn’t matter right now, Mulders here with me and I need you to tell him what happened.”

“I think you’ve drank too much Alex, as I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You fuckin bastard…”

“Alex, I suggest you drop it right now and sober up, also I don’t want you calling this number anymore.”

“What?”

“You heard me, just remember how you wanted to be free Alex.”

“I swear I’ll kill you when I see you.”

“Goodbye Alex, I hope you have a good life.”

Shit with that the Englishman hung up on me, then suddenly Mulder grabbed my jacket and pulled me up from the couch. I never even had a chance, within seconds his first impacted my stomach and I fell to my knees.

“Mulder you have to listen to me…”

“I’m sick of listening to you and your lies Alex, you’re a lying manipulative bastard and nothing more.”

“It’s true Mulder, please I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”

“You’d lie about anything if it got you what you wanted, maybe this time you should have stayed away Alex.”

Mulder grabbed my hair and yanked it forcing my head up, then all I could do was close my eyes as he backhanded me across the face. It wasn’t as if he was happy doing it just once either, now my face and jaw hurt from his hands as he hit me a few times. The minute he let go of my hair my head fell to my chest, then the bastard went and kicked me in the side a couple of times.

I soon found myself on the floor just laying curled up to protect myself, it was only when Mulder had no strength left that he gave up and collapsed on the couch. As for me, well by this point I was way too scared to speak or even move at all. Eventually I heard Mulder move and could see his feet in front of me, yet I refused to acknowledge him or even look up.

Suddenly he was knelt right in front of me and I had no choice but to look at him, it was at that moment he pressed a glass of cold water against my damaged lips and helped me drink it. I was thankful that he’d even bothered, hell then I was even more thankful when he retrieved the small key from his pocket.

I knew it was for the handcuffs and was glad that he was being reasonable and planned to release me. Then he uncuffed one of my wrists, within no time the bastard locked it onto the fuckin radiator pipe and I was going nowhere.

“What the fuck, Mulder don’t do this.”

“You can stay there until morning Alex, maybe when your sober I’ll decide what to do with you.”

“You can’t leave me here Mulder…”

“Yes I can Alex.”

“So, what if I scream and the neighbours call the police?”

“Hmm actually you have a good point, hold on.”

Mulder went into the bedroom and left me where I sat, then just a minute or so later he returned with something behind his back. I looked at him nervously wondering what he was doing, then suddenly he grabbed my jaw hard and was forcing something into my already abused mouth. Fuck this was getting way out of hand now, it didn’t take me long to realize it was a fuckin ball gag.

“Well at least that will keep that lying mouth of yours shut Alex, I’ve had a busy day and want to get some sleep in peace.”

All I could do as sit on the floor and watch Mulder undress, he then got himself settled on the couch where he normally slept. Shit I realized just how cruel he could be when he grabbed the tv remote, the bastard was going to watch a porno tape and jerk off while I was sat here.

I think I was past caring about what Mulder did now, I’d started to sober up now and my head felt like someone had hit it with a sledgehammer. Of course my whole fuckin body was in agony too thanks to Mulder, he never was very good at pulling his punches when it involved me.

Well all I could do was rest against the radiator and try to sleep sat right where I was, I guess I’d have to pray that Mulder would keep his word and let me go once I could drive. Shit then everything went to hell, I had this sudden sharp pain in my stomach and I knew I was going to throw up any second. I took my arm and started banking the metal cuff against the pipes, then I couldn’t hold back any longer and I felt like I was going to choke on my own vomit.

“Alex knock it off or the neighbours will complain, oh fuck just hold on a minute.”

Mulder was up and off the couch in seconds, he then found the buckle and unfastened the gag. At first I was still choking and then I started coughing, in the end all I managed to do was throw up all over Mulder.

“Shit, I bet you fuckin did that on purpose.”

“Yeah right, I could have fuckin choked to death for all you cared. You were the one that was jerking off on the couch Mulder, shit you’re one hell of a sick fuck.”

“Believe me you’re this close to me choking you myself right now.”

“Why, I thought you were the one that got off on autoerotic asphyxiation Mulder?”

“Fuck you.”

“In your dreams.”

“Shut up Alex while I get this cleaned up, then afterwards I’ll deal with you.”

“I can’t wait.”

Mulder went and grabbed some water and cloths to clean the floor, all I got was a glass of water and a cloth to wipe my own face. It was Mulder so I suppose I should be grateful he bothered with me at all. Then he got up and left me where I were, within no time I heard the shower turn on and knew just what he’d be doing while he was there.

I closed my eyes once more and thought about Mulder, also how the hell I’d talk him into letting me leave here as I had things to do. I knew exactly where the bodies would be, however it would mean breaking into a consortium lab and risk getting myself caught. Shit the thought alone made me feel so weak and sick, maybe it was because I knew they’d torture me if I were found there.

I didn’t have much choice and had to do it before they disposed of the bodies, without proof I’d never get Mulder to believe that they were dead. So I could face the consortium lab and maybe survive, that or I could totally give up on Fox Mulder. Yeah right, I knew that I’d never give up on the man until he accepted me or killed me.

I had to make Mulder believe me and want me for who I am, well Mulder had returned to the room and I just prayed he’d let me go now. Preferably I’d like to leave here without him causing me in more pain either, I already knew my stomach and face would soon show some nasty bruises from his hands.

“How are you feeling now Alex, look I admit that I shouldn’t have gagged you when you were drunk.”

“What do you want me to say Mulder, shit my whole body is in agony thanks to you and your temper.”

“You shouldn’t have come here Alex, shit what did you think you’d achieve by telling me another one of your lies?”

“Shit it’s not a lie Mulder, I could shove the proof under your nose and you still wouldn’t believe me.”

“Well they do say, once a liar…”

“Yet you put your life in the hands of a fuckin clone.”

“Yeah well I didn’t know it was a clone did I.”

“That makes it worse Mulder, you thought it was me but still did as it wanted. Now you know it’s really me and you won’t let the past go, will you?”

“I can’t.”

“Shit and you’re a trained psychologist, you refuse to trust me because I won’t fight back or hurt you. Ha then you’re willing to trust a clone who hurt and humiliated you beyond belief, you really do need to get some help Mulder.”

“Yeah well, I don’t answer to you, do I?”

“Is that a jab at me Mulder, are you saying you’d get help if I ordered you to do it?”

“Yeah well that’s something we’ll never know, I already told you that you’re pathetic and weak.”

“So, let me go then, why keep me here if you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you and you know that; look I’ll remove the cuffs and you can leave if that’s what you want?”

“Yeah, I can’t stay here unless you can accept me for who I am Mulder.”

“I can’t do that…”

Mulder grabbed my chin hard and pulled my face towards him, I waited for the punch and it never came. Mulder surprised me when he kissed me with so much passion, it was as if he wanted me to remember just what I was losing by walking out. I was so lost when the kiss ended and he finally pulled his mouth away, he then calmly pulled out the key and freed me from the cuffs.

“I’m so sorry Alex.”

“Yeah me too, look I have to go and deal with a few things so take care of yourself.”

“You’re really going to walk out aren’t you?”

“Yes, I love you Mulder and always will… This is for the best and it has to be this way, maybe in time things might be different…”

I grabbed my keys and gun off the coffee table, I then walked out without even looking back at the broken man I’d left sat on the floor. I made it to my car and totally fell apart, I was far too upset and couldn’t even see through the tears to drive away. What the hell was we both doing to each other, as it appeared that we both loved one another yet we both wanted things that were so different.

Part of me felt like walking in there and fastening a fuckin collar tight around his neck, to do as he wanted so I could have him as my lover. Not that it would work though, within minutes guilt would kick in and I’d regret hurting him in that way. Hell, maybe I should think about getting some help for myself, maybe I was the dysfunctional one and should be able to meet him halfway.

Who was I trying to kid, hell I’d spent most of my life dysfunctional in one way or another? Most people would see me as capable of anything, especially considering some of the sick twisted things I’ve done in my life. The problem is the situation and the person involved, of course I could hurt someone if it was a choice between myself or them. Well maybe if I didn’t know them that is, as Mulder could pull out his gun and shoot me without me defending myself.

God, I had to pull myself together and get the hell out of here right now, as I had plans to make and things to do. I was pissed off also with regards to the Englishman, I’d done what he’d wanted and then he’d let me down when I most needed his help.

I decided I’d drive over to the consortium lab and take a look around, maybe the Englishman hadn’t spoken to the staff with regards to my departure from their little group. If that where the case I’d be okay, I could just pretend that the Englishman had sent me there on his behalf.

I drove there and decided to walk in and just act natural, chances are the guards wouldn’t kill me without the old man’s say so anyway so I’d be okay. At least I knew my way around the building and where everything was, I had grabbed a small pocket camera out of my glove box and was well prepared to get what I needed for Mulder.

Once done I also wanted to pay a visit to the files that were held here in storage, I planned to take all the ones with mine or Mulders names on them. I walked in and made my way along the long corridors that would lead me down to the basement, there I knew I would find the doors to the morgue.

Once there I still hesitated before pushing open the double doors, as I could never forget the time Mulder had taken me to meet Scully when she was doing an autopsy. At the time I thought it was just because I was young and inexperienced, yet over the years nothing had changed and I still hated having to come here.

I was hit straight away by the change of temperature and shivered, shit I had to keep moving and get this over with so that I could leave and never come back. There in front of me were four tables, three of which were occupied and each body was covered with a white sheet. Okay deep breath and just keep breathing, maybe if I kept telling myself that I’d get through this. I walked over to the first table and mentally prepared myself, I also got out my camera and held it ready.

All I had to do was pull the sheet back fast and click a couple of pictures off, yet I wasn’t prepared to deal with all the emotions and memories that each body forced me to remember. The first body was Spender himself; I hated this man with a passion and was glad to see him laid out here and dead. Soon though I had what I wanted and would need to move on, yet I still found time to re-cover the body so that I wouldn’t have to look at it longer than necessary.

I then moved over towards the second table and pulled the sheet away, there lay the body of Sam. This man I hadn’t wanted to see dead at first, he’d made me feel so much and I thought that he was different from all the rest. He’d actually made me believe that I was someone, a man that was worth loving and showing that he was worth it. Well what a joke that was, Sam had used me just like all the rest had and it had made me feel worthless. Hell maybe I was worthless, I wasn’t even good enough for the man I loved.

I took the photo’s and stared down at him for a few more seconds, not that the man deserved a second of my time after betraying me like that. Great that meant the clone was next, I’d hoped to pull back a sheet without knowing who would be under it first. This was also far worse because it would be like looking in a mirror, seeing what I myself would look like when I was laid out like this.

I really had to get a grip on this and get it over with, I needed the photos of the clone just as much as the ones of Spender. I knew without the photo’s Mulder would never believe that it was the clone and not me that did those things to him. Yeah, things that Mulder had enjoyed. Shit for all I knew he might be upset that I killed it, at the end of the day it could give him what he wanted and more than I ever could.

I knew that I was just stalling and didn’t want to do this, that was why I aimed the camera at the table and grabbed hold of the white sheet. Trying not to think, I pulled the sheet back and nearly threw up as I looked into the face that lay there. This was me, well how I would look when my time on this planet comes to an end. Now I had to wonder if anyone would truly miss me when I was gone, I also wondered if I’d be buried without anyone coming to say goodbye to me.

I had to face up to what would be, however right now wasn’t the time to get all sentimental about what might happen. Finally, I managed to use the camera and get the shots that I would need, I then covered the body and dropped the camera back into my pocket. The time had come to get the hell out of here, I knew I wouldn’t relax until I were in my car and miles away from this place.

It was then that I remembered the file room, I knew I had to get in there and retrieve the stuff I wanted. How the hell could I get on with my life if I didn’t, part of my life would remain here in those files, in the hands of the bastards that made me who I am today. I could change and move far away once I had them, this time I wanted a clean slate and my past erased. The biggest question was Mulder, could I also erase him from my past if it came down to it?

I knew getting into that room would be difficult, there would be cameras and possibly even guards who’d shoot if that’s what it came to. So, I pulled out my gun and an attachment, within moments I’d attached the silencer and was ready to go. It was still fairly early in the morning, my watch told me it was only just six so I hoped no one would be around. There was one thing I did know though; I’d shoot to kill if anyone became a threat to me.

I had to go up a couple of floors and soon found the room, I was actually surprised to find no one who was willing to challenge me or stop me getting what I wanted. Once inside I closed the door behind me as quiet as I could, now I just had to locate the draw that contained my files. At least it was all in order and everything was done alphabetical, so within no time I had all my own files along with Mulders too. Mine I could look at later when I was back at the club, well I was already well aware of what the bastards had done to me in the past. Mulder was a different matter though, I knew they ‘d done some things to him in the past, however even I was surprised to find out how many mind wipes they’d done to him.

I guess the most important page to me was the one regarding his father, it explained what had happened to Mulder and how he was drugged before the event. It also explained how I was the one sent to assassinate Bill Mulder and why, it turned out that the consortium knew all along that I had a thing for Mulder. I guess they wanted to drive a wedge between us so nothing would come of it, after all I was only allowed to serve a group of old fuckin men.

I pulled my camera back out and took a few more pictures, I wanted some proof for myself after I’d handed the file over to Mulder. The camera was a small slim thing, that was why I decided to put it down my boot out of sight for safe keeping. I grabbed all the files and put them inside my jacket, now all I had to do was get out of here and never look back.

I slowly opened the door and stepped out into the corridor, I’d only just taken a couple of steps when the alarm started shrieking inside my ears and nearly deafened me. I knew I was well and truly fucked now unless I could find somewhere to lay low, every door to the outside world would be locked until they found the intruder. From my own past and many trips here I knew there was only one way out, to go that way I’d need to go back down to the basement once more.

There was a door that led to an elevator at the back of the building, it was normally only used to take the bodies to and from the outside world. Getting there would be hard though now the alarm had sounded, finally I’d made it down one flight of stairs and then had some company of my own.

“Drop the gun Krycek.”

“Fuck you Luis.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way, soon others will come and you’ll have to give up the gun or die where you stand.”

“I can’t just surrender, call the Englishman and let me talk to him.”

“Give me one good reason why I should do as you say?”

“I’m working for him now and he’ll kill you if you touch me, look you have nothing to lose by making just one phone call.”

“Fine, don’t move a fuckin inch then or you’re dead.”

“Yeah whatever.”

I watched as he pulled his cell phone out and made the call, I could hear him mention something about me but the alarm covered most of what was said between them. Finally, Luis put the phone away and stood there with his gun on me, then to my relief the alarm was finally silenced.

“You can put the gun away Alex, the Englishman was already in the office so he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Good, however the gun stays where it is until I walk out of here.”

“Have it your way.”

I remained where I was with my gun aimed at his head, now all I could do was wait for the Englishman and pray he didn’t order Luis to put a bullet in me. I already knew I’d soon be outnumbered if the Englishman brought back up with him. Ha, not that I could trust him after he dropped me in it with Mulder. Finally I heard some footsteps coming towards us and knew it was only one person, that was why I was surprised when I realized the man had come alone.

“Alex why have you come here, actually before we talk you can both put your guns away.”

“No way am I lowering my gun with him here.”

“Very well, let Luis search you and then I’ll send him away.”

I stood there and just nodded my head, then Luis came over and searched me for any other weapons while I kept my gun in my hand. Soon he pulled out the files that I’d tried to steal, then he went and handed them over to the Englishman and I had nothing once more.

“Well done Luis, you can now leave us alone.”

“Are you sure Sir?”

“Very sure, Alex won’t be a problem will you…”

“No, I just want to talk and get out of here.”

Luis put his gun back away and then left us both alone, now I just had to pray that the Englishman didn’t have a gun of his own hidden away. If he did and it was under his jacket I’d be okay, the man would be dead before he even managed to reach it.

“I gave you your freedom Alex and here you are, you’d think you want to remain part of the consortium.”

“This is your fault, you let me down when I needed you the most.”

“Please explain Alex, as without me you wouldn’t even have your freedom.”

“I did what you wanted, then all I wanted in return was for Mulder to believe me. You could have told the man the truth, don’t you think he deserves to know that Spenders dead after what he suffered?”

“Alex you’re not thinking straight at all, also the job was the price of your freedom. I’m not here to run around at your beck and call or do what you want, you can’t call me and expect me to say things like that over the phone.”

“It was just Mulder…”

“How many times has Agent Mulder had his phone tapped, I couldn’t take that risk Alex. Everyone would have known I ordered Spenders death; they’d also know you were the one that pulled the trigger.”

“Shit I never thought…”

“No, you didn’t and that’s your problem Alex.”

“That’s why I wanted the files, I had to take something to Mulder.”

“You must know that I can’t let you walk out of here with Mulders file, it’s far too risky to myself and the other members of our group.”

“So, what about the files you have on me, why do you need to still keep them?”

“I don’t, so as a good will gesture I’ll let you walk out of here with them.”

“So, what’s the catch?”

“You fully walk away Alex, you never come here or near a consortium member again. You wanted your freedom and now you have it, I will give the order for you to be shot on sight if you come here again.”

“That’s it?”

“I’m a man of my word Alex, you have two minutes to be out of here, otherwise I guarantee you won’t get out of here alive.”

“Okay I’m going.”

“Goodbye Alex.”

The Englishman passed me my own files and then walked away, now I just had to get back to my car and the consortium would be gone along with everything else connected to this group of sad old men. No one stopped me as I walked away, I knew that no one would go against the Englishman without facing his wrath. The man could be calm and collected unless pushed, in some ways I’d have rather worked for him than Spender.

I saw the main doors and walked towards them without incident, the security guard even looked up before opening the doors for me. From here I could see my car and knew this would soon be all over, a few more steps and I’d be driving away from here and the hell I’d suffered under the consortium.

I got into my car and threw the files on the passenger seat; I’d decided to go back to the club and read through them before I’d go back and see Mulder. I was also thinking about the camera and all the photo’s I’d taken of the bodies and Mulders file, then I felt the cold gun press against the back of my head and froze.

“Start the engine and drive around the corner Krycek.”

“What the hell do you want Luis?”

“Right now, I just want you to do as I say.”

“Shit I knew I shouldn’t have trusted the Englishman.”

“Why as this has nothing to do with him, I worked for Spender and you killed him.”

“The Englishman will be pissed if he finds out about this.”

“Yeah well he won’t find out, so just drive the fuckin car Krycek.”

I had a feeling that Luis wouldn’t dare kill me, yet I knew he could cause me some serious damage long before it got to that point. All I could do was drive and do as he said, we were in the middle of nowhere and didn’t have to go too far to be alone. Luis would want to make sure he had no witnesses to what he was about to do, shit I was no match against the man and was still suffering from Mulders hand. I tried so hard to keep it together, then I was brought back to the here and now as he spoke to me again.

“Stop the car Alex, then you can slowly get out and throw your gun on the ground.”

I did as he ordered and I knew he still had his gun aimed at me, Luis bent and grabbed my gun, he then pocketed the clip before throwing it back inside my car.

“Get down on your knees Alex and put your hands behind your head.”

“Luis please don’t do this…”

“Do it now Alex or I’ll put a bullet in you.”

All I could do was drop to my knees and do as he asked, now I was knelt here without even knowing what was coming next. Not that I had to wait too long though, Luis suddenly brought his foot up and booted me in the side. I couldn’t help myself as I screamed out in pain, this was far too soon and I was surprised no bones where broken.

“You deserve all you get Alex; you were nothing more than a traitor right from the very start. You betrayed all of us just to please Agent Mulder, a man who hates you and beats you at every chance he gets.”

“You know nothing.”

God the pain in my face was unbearable as his gun impacted with it, he then held my head up by the hair so that he could look at me.

“I know nothing, from what I can see Mulder only likes you as a punch bag. To a certain extent it takes the fun out of everything knowing he got to you first, I wanted to mark you and make you remember what I did. Now you kneel here already covered in bruises and beat into submission, well I guess I’ll just have to mark you for fun now won’t I.”

“Why ask me, nothing I say will change your mind.”

“So true, maybe a well placed bullet will make you remember what a traitor you are.”

Luis kicked me a couple more times until I collapsed on the ground holding my stomach, that was when he brought the gun up once more and aimed it towards me. Everything happened so fast and I had no time to think, suddenly I couldn’t cope with the pain as the bullet tore through my thigh. I must have passed out at some point and had no concept of time; all I knew was that the sun was high in the sky and I was alone with my pain.

One look and I could see that I was losing a lot of blood, also I could tell that the bullet had passed straight through and for that I was grateful. First, I had to try and remove my belt from my jeans and it wasn’t easy, my body had suffered so much and the slightest movement was agony. Finally I had it in my hands, I then had to grit my teeth as I fastened it around my leg as tight as I could.

After a few more minutes I knew the blood flow had slowed down, hopefully the belt would make a good tourniquet until I could get the hell out of here and find some help. Local hospitals would ask way too many questions when it involved a bullet wound, knowing my luck they’d call the feds and Mulder would show up.

I was left with only one option open to me, I’d have to drive back to the club and pray that Paul was there and could deal with it without me dying first. Great I’d also have to pray that I didn’t pass out at the wheel and kill myself on the way over, I decided to drop Steve a message asking him to make sure Paul was there waiting for me.

I could have phoned but that would have resulted in too many questions as well, yet suddenly my phone started ringing and I knew Steve had received my text. He would be worried and calling to see where I were and what had happened, right now I had to concentrate on my driving and couldn’t risk having a phone in my hand at the same time.

I’d have to admit that the drive back wasn’t an easy one either, it took over an hour and I had to stop twice as I started to become lightheaded from the blood loss. Then I finally turned the corner and the club appeared in my line of sight and I was so relieved, I managed to pull myself to the doors and then passed out just as I reached the doorman.

God I soon came back around though, especially as someone was pulling me to my feet and helping me move. I was led back into the room that Steve was letting me use while I stayed here, the doorman laid me on the bed and that was when I noticed both Steve and Paul were in the room with me.

“Paul will check you over and look at your leg Alex, afterwards I think you and I need to sit down and have a talk, don’t you?”

“Yeah, look maybe I was wrong to come back here and expect you to deal with all of this. I can leave as soon as I’m able if that’s what you want Steve, I don’t want to lose our friendship because I’m nothing more than a selfish bastard.”

“God do you ever shut up Alex, not once did I say anything about you leaving here.”

“I just thought…”

“Well you thought wrong, for now listen to Paul and do as he says.”

“Yeah okay and thanks.”

Steve and the doorman both left and it were just myself and Paul, I watched as he started getting out some bandages and a first aid kit that also had some painkillers in it. So, while he was busy I undid the belt and tried to stand up so I could undress, hell even that was agony and I collapsed back onto the bed.

“Alex what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to remove my jeans, I just figured it would be easier for you to clean up the bullet wound.”

“Well don’t, I’ll help you with that when I’ve got everything ready. Oh, and it was good of you to finally let me know you were shot, shit Alex just what sort of games are you playing now, you could have wound up dead and we’d have never known?”

“Thanks for your concern Paul, however the bullet went straight through and I haven’t bled to death so…”

“So nothing, Jesus you’re a friend Alex despite the past.”

“I’m sorry okay.”

“Good, right lay there while I remove your jeans.”

I watched as Paul came over and first removed my boots, shit that was when I remembered the camera and was glad to see it was still there. Paul put it on the nearby table and started pulling my jeans off, I could tell by his movements that he wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

“Paul are you okay?”

“Yeah I guess so, I guess this just brings back some memories to last time I had you undressed.”

“Shit I forgot about that.”

“How the hell could you forget, I wasn’t exactly kind or gentle towards you. Hell, what am I talking about, you’re a friend and I abused you Alex?”

“Only because you were sticking up for Mulder, for that alone I forgave you Paul.”

“I know, it’s just hard seeing you so forgiving after what I did.”

“Hey, don’t go soft on me now and fall apart, Steve will be hauling in both our asses if you keep that up.”

“Yeah true.”

Paul worked ins silence as he cleaned the bullet wound, soon it was all stitched up and he’d given me some meds to help with the pain from my many injuries. For once I actually felt good and was wondering just how strong the pills were, not that I was complaining and actually liked the idea of having no pain for a while.

“Sleep for a while Alex, I’ll deal with Steve for now and tell him that you’re not up to talking just yet.”

“Thanks, tell him I promise we will talk when I feel up to it and I will explain what happened and who did it.”

Shit I realized that I was totally out of it now and rather high, not that it was a bad thing just so long as I remained in this room. I was in the worst place possible to feel as high as this, especially as there was only one thing I ever wanted when I was like this. I was as horny as fuck every time I was high on meds, also to top it off I was in a club that dealt with alcohol and sex games.

I tried to force myself to relax even more, I just wanted it so I was far too tired and wouldn’t be tempted to leave this room. Knowing me, I’d go looking for someone that would hit me first and then want to fuck me. Well I guess that’s what happens when you spend a lot of time around Fox Mulder, well maybe there was something I could do while I thought about the man I loved.

Soon my hand found its way inside my boxers and grabbed my cock, I was already as hard as rock just thinking about Mulder and what I’d like him to do to me. I soon started working up a rhythm and imagined that it was his hand on me, he would use his long fingers and wrap them around my erection until I came screaming his name. Then once sated the game would change, Mulder would force me to turn over and spread I’d my legs for him.

One by one he would work his fingers inside my tight ass, then suddenly they were gone and replaced by something far larger. This was all about making me his, fucking me hard so I’d realize he loved me and I belonged to only him. Within no time I came, I’d screamed out his name before collapsing back down on the bed exhausted.

I realized I was far mor exhausted than I’d thought, as now I opened my eyes to daylight and the noisy fuckin birds chirping away. Well what did I expect after the day I’d had yesterday; my body was tired from all the stress and abuse it had dealt with lately. Now I’d have to stay here a couple of days until I was well enough to get the evidence to Mulder, I’d also have to think about going back to my apartment again and see if anyone had visited while I were away.

Deep down I was afraid to go back there, I guess all the memories and past events didn’t exactly make me feel safe there anymore. Mulder had cuffed me to the bed and kept me there, the question was how long I would have remained there if the Englishman hadn’t called. At least here there was always people around that could help me should the need arise, even at Mulders apartment there was always the chance of someone showing up.

Going back home wasn’t really an option for me right now, I wanted people around me and to just feel somewhat normal. I couldn’t remember a time when I wasn’t owned by someone and having to take all their shit. Talking of people, well maybe it was time I got out of bed and went to see Steve and explain what had happened to me yesterday.

First thing was getting dressed, it was far harder than I thought as everywhere hurt far worse this morning. Maybe I could get some more meds from Paul for the pain, I also couldn’t help but notice all the multi coloured bruises that covered most of my stomach. Shit no wonder I hurt so much, and to think that Mulder actually got off on people causing him physical pain. Finally I managed to pull on my jeans and a tee shirt, I then went out to the bar and found Steve already there and talking with Paul.

“Alex you should be resting.”

“I’m good Steve, the exercise will help too.”

“Okay let’s get the nasty stuff out of the way first Alex; you left here to go and tell Agent Mulder that Spender was dead.”

“Yeah that’s right.”

“Hell, I thought the man would be pleased that Spender was dead, yet you look like you’ve just done ten rounds with Mike Tyson.”

“Look Mulder only hit me a couple of times…”

“Yeah well he shouldn’t be hitting you at all Alex.”

“He didn’t believe me; well it wasn’t like I went there with any proof or anything. I told him I’d call the Englishman and he’d confirm it and tell Mulder I’d killed Spender, yet he totally denied it and Mulder saw red.”

“I don’t understand, why the hell didn’t he just tell Mulder the truth?”

“Later I saw him and he said it was too dangerous over the phone, anyway Mulder hit me and then I went to find the truth for myself.”

“Dare I even ask what you did Alex…”

“I went to the consortium lab and visited the morgue.”

“Oh shit…”

“Hey I took a camera and got some photos, and at least they never found the camera on me. I might have got out unnoticed, however I decided to go and steal all the files they had on me while I were there and I must have triggered an alarm.”

“So, the guards shot you?”

“No, there was one guard and I persuaded him to call the Englishman and he came to talk to me. He was actually alright and said I could leave, however next time I’d be dead on site if I returned there.”

“Yeah well hopefully you’ve learnt your lesson Alex.”

“Yeah I won’t be going back there again, everything was going alright until I got into my car and found Luis Cardinal there waiting for me.”

“Oh shit, I’ve heard that he can be a really nasty piece of work.”

“Yeah you can say that again, anyway he held a gun on me and made me drive a short distance before ordering me to get out of the car. Luis wanted revenge because I’d killed the man he worked for, he was loyal to Spender and resented having to work for the Englishman.”

“So how come he never ended up killing you?”

“He knew that the Englishman would kill him if he touched me, that was why he kicked the fuck out of me and put a bullet in my leg.”

“So, what are your plans now Alex?”

“I thought that I’d stay here for a few days, go through all the files that I got from the lab and see what they have to say. Oh, and then I need to check out the camera and see how good the photos are, I just want to make sure that they’re all clear enough.”

“So, you plan to stay out of trouble then?”

“For now, as once I’ve checked all the evidence I’ll be taking it to Mulder.”

“Shit Alex, you really must have a death wish or something!”

“Yeah whatever, I just want to make everything right with him for once.”

“You must really love the man.”

“Yeah I do, however he prefers the clone over me. The clone offered him abuse and humiliation, all I can offer him is love and that isn’t good enough.”

“Maybe one day he’ll realize what a decent person you are, that you were just young and led astray by Spender.”

“Yeah time will tell, for now though I’m going to take this coffee and start reading the files.”

“Good, just remember we’re here for you.”

I staggered back to my room and sat on the bed with the files, now I’d find out exactly what the Consortium and Spender truly thought about me. Most if it was the usual shit and each page was signed by Spender, the file started back to when they first recruited me and made me believe all their lies and good intentions.

The file stated that I was the perfect candidate for the position and was easily led into believing them, also Spender had stated that my looks could help me go far within the consortium. There were even little remarks from him regarding what he thought about me and my looks, Spender made it clear that he thought I was good looking and just his type.

The file had started out with him saying how easy it would be to get what he wanted, and that was me inside his bed. Well he’d been far of the mark with regards to that, shit he’d had to create the clone to get what he wanted. It would also appear that the consortium wanted me gone many years ago, yet Spender always refused to let them get rid of me.

Later it claims that I’d become attracted to Fox Mulder and that pissed Spender off, his jealousy had nearly cost me my life when he’d left me in that silo. Apparently, he was willing to let me die because I wouldn’t bow down to him, also he already had my DNA. Spender hadn’t counted on the militia group finding me there and saving me, at this point he’d already created the clone to replace me.

Everything should have gone easy for him; the clone would replace me and do what he wanted it to do. Then Spender found out I was alive and couldn’t let anyone know about the clone, that was why he had me sent to that hell hole in Tunisia. The idea was to make everyone believe that the clone was me, no one would question it and Spender would claim I’d learnt my place.

Later on he’d started to worry, I was causing problems for him despite the fact I was in another country. The clone would be hidden once more and until I was dealt with, the idea was to bring me back and then make sure he killed me himself. Spender would dispose of the body and the clone would be put in place full time.

The only problem that remained was Mulder, he’d ordered me to stay away so I wouldn’t find out about the clone and what he’d made it do. Mulder suffered because Spender was jealous, he made the clone humiliate and abuse him just to make a point. Then even that had backfired, the clone had liked what it had to do and Mulder liked what it did to him. Shit I guess the joke was on Spender, not that any of that mattered now.

There was nothing in the files to suggest that anything else was done to me medically, well other than Spender stealing my DNA that is. Most of the pain and abuse was done on Spenders behalf, he’d always had men work for him that was willing to do his dirty work, people like Sam and Luis.

Luis had beat me many times in the past just to please Spender, mostly it was because I ignored all the advances he made towards me. The man never just hit me once either, many times I was left in bed for days unable to move or even eat because of the pain. Then there was the time he actually broke my arm and two of my ribs. The man was nothing more than a fuckin animal, maybe one day I might just get my own back on him too. Oh, and then there was Sam, a man who would also do anything to please Spender. Maybe I was the idiot for trusting him in the first place, as even back in that prison I knew exactly who he worked for.

Then Spender had finally had enough of trying to control me, I knew that was true when I saw the copy of the agreement between himself and Sam. The time had come for him to cut all ties with me and Sam was to do the job, he was to get rid of me and then take the clone as his payment. Great it was nice to see I was so highly thought of, I was nothing more than a toy to those bastards, just to be thrown away once they became bored with me.

I knew that too much thinking was giving me a headache right now, if the Englishman’s word meant anything this was all just the past. I had to move on and see if I could make anything with the time I had left, even if it meant walking away from Mulder and never setting eyes on him again. I knew it wouldn’t be easy if it came down to it, however so far, I’d spent most of my life as a door mat in one way or another.

Fuck this, I grabbed all the files along with the camera and then left the room. I knew that Steve had an office here and prayed he had a shredder too; it was time to start moving forward and to do that I had to get rid of the past. Steve did one better and helped me permanently dispose of all the files, apparently there was an old incinerator down in the basement. Soon they were all gone and all that remained was the camera and hopefully my proof for Mulder, Steve said I could use his office and check out the photos on his computer.

It turned out that the photos were far better than I’d expected them to be, especially considering I was nervous and in a hurry when I took them. Now I’d have to hope that Mulder didn’t think I’d gone and faked those too, it was hard to make the man believe anything I said, yet he was quick to believe everyone else despite his motto. Ha, I want to believe and trust no one, yeah everyone except Alex Krycek. Well I was really pleased with the proof I had, yet I still had doubts about returning to Mulders place.

First, I spent the next couple of days trying to get well, the bruises started to fade and the pain started to dull somewhat. Not that my leg was doing too well though, it was healing but I struggled to put too much weight on it and walking was difficult. This was Mulder I was planning to go see, that was why I had to be physically fit in case things went the usual way and got out of hand.

I took all the meds and rested most of the time, well it wasn’t like there was much else to do around here. In the end it was over a week before I could fully stand without any pain, also the wound was healing and there was no infection. Now I had to prepare myself to go and visit Mulder, after that I’d come back here and collect all my belongings before returning home.

Then I would decide whether to stay in my apartment or go elsewhere, everything would depend on my visit to Mulder and whether I even left in one piece. I soon hacked into the FBI system and checked where Mulder was and what he was doing, well at least he was in the office and that meant he’d be going back home sometime later today. This time I would go there sober and face whatever happened, also I wanted to be fully alert as I tried to make him believe me.

The plan was to arrive there before Mulder, as I’d always found it easier than trying to pick his lock while he was at home. I got everything done that I had to do here, it was now time to go over there and face the music so to speak. Not that everything went to plan as usual, I’d actually left the club far later than I’d planned. Lucky for me though, Mulder was a workaholic and was still in his office according to the hoover security.

Finally, I was in my car and on my way over there, then I came to a full stop as all the traffic had started slowing down because of something up ahead. Then I could hear the sirens in the distance and presumed there had been an accident close by, then there were police cars and ambulances arriving on the scene. Normally things like this never bothered me too much in the past, yet suddenly I felt so overwhelmed with emotions.

I was here thinking about Mulder and how he risked his life every day, then I was thinking about how I’d cope if I never got to see the man again. We could both go our own ways and separate, however I’d always be checking up on him and watching to make sure he was okay. Death though was so different and final; I knew I wouldn’t cope if I could never see Mulder again. Okay maybe I was just a morbid fuck, or maybe my life and all that I’d done was staring to catch up with me.

I had to get out of this car as suddenly I couldn’t breathe, I felt like I was in a coffin and was trapped just waiting to die. In the end I got out of my car and stood leaning on it, I was still struggling to breathe and not throw up when someone spoke to me.

“Sir are you alright?”

I turned around to face a concerned looking policeman, shit then I felt sick all over again just thinking about the weapons I had in my car. I had to snap out of this and answer the officer, that or he might suspect I’m on something and want to search my car. I took another deep breath and realized he was talking once more, shit I had to pull myself together enough to talk.

“I asked if you’re alright Sir?”

“Yeah sorry, I just panic when I see an accident and it scares me somewhat.”

“Yeah life can be like that, it makes us realize just how much we take for granted.”

“Yeah it sure as hell does.”

“Yeah we take it for granted that we’ll always be here, yet life can be so unpredictable, here one day and gone the next.”

“Tell me about it, do you know when the traffic will start moving again?”

“We’re setting up a diversion as we speak, another five minutes and the traffic will be flowing once again.”

“Okay that’s good.”

“Will you be well enough to drive by then?”

“Yeah the fresh air seems to have helped somewhat.”

“Very good, you might want to get back in your car now so you’re ready to move.”

“Yeah okay I will, oh and thanks for checking I’m okay.”

“No problem, have a good evening Sir and drive carefully.”

I got back in my car and sat here waiting, I couldn’t help but tap my fingers on the steering wheel as I tried to keep myself from coming undone. Finally, after a few minutes we were moving, a police officer was directing all the traffic around the cordoned off vehicles. I could see that there were a couple of cars that looked a right off, worse was the bodies that were laid there and fully covered over. I always believed that some people deserved all they got, yet to die as a family with children or just an innocent driver was all wrong.

I could tell by the bodies that not all were adults and I was struggling to deal with it, for some reason I was finding this far harder than I’d done in the past. Shit maybe I was going soft in my old age, that or it was the love I felt for Mulder that was doing it.

Well finally I arrived at Hegal place and could see no sign of Mulders car, hopefully my delay wasn’t too bad and he was still at the Hoover in his office. Some people were entering the building and it was easy to slip in alongside them, maybe it was that time of day were a lot of people would be returning from work and I’d have to be careful. That was why I decided to take the stairs to the fourth floor so I could avoid them all, once there I pulled out my pick lock and went to apartment forty two and listened.

Everything seemed to be quiet and that was good, so I used my pick lock and skills to have the door open within seconds. Mulder was lax on security and I was good at what I did, well that was what I’d always thought anyway. I opened the door slowly and took a step inside, that was when I felt a fist connect with my stomach causing me to fall to the floor.

“Shit Mulder, don’t you think I’ve suffered enough.”

“Well obviously you don’t think so as you came back here, did you expect I’d just welcome you with open arms or something.”

“Yeah right, as if that would happen.”

“So, would you care to explain why you are here Alex?”

“I’ll talk Mulder, I’d just prefer not to do it while I’m on the floor.”

“Okay stand up very slowly, then you can sit on the couch while I get my cuffs.”

“I came here freely Mulder, so you don’t need to cuff me so that I’ll stay.”

“I can cuff you or you can leave right now, I’ll let you decide what you want to do Alex.”

“Great, like I have a choice if I want to tell you something.”

“Good stay there and don’t move.”

“I’m not going anywhere Mulder.”

I watched as Mulder went to his desk and retrieve his cuffs, I wasn’t worried as there was nothing in here to cuff me to. That meant Mulder could only cuff my hands together in front of me, it also meant that I could leave and get them removed should the need arise. Mulder turned and watched me, I could tell that he’d realized what I already knew and that was that the cuffs were pointless.

“Are you having a problem there Mulder?”

“Yeah I don’t trust you at all, also I wanted to fasten you to something you couldn’t move.”

“Well we don’t always get what we want Mulder.”

“Don’t be a smart ass, right get up and move now.”

“What?”

“You heard me, maybe in future you’ll learn to keep that mouth of yours shut Alex.”

“Shit where the hell is there to go Mulder?”

“Go into the bedroom and sit on the bed.”

“Like hell I will, do you think I trust you if we go in there!”

“Don’t flatter yourself Alex, you can move or feel a bullet instead.”

I knew I had no choice but to do as Mulder said, one bullet in my leg was enough to deal with and it had hurt like hell. Nothing changed and the bedroom was still a mess as usual, hell I’d be lucky if I could even find the bed.

“Shit do you ever even clean in here Mulder?”

“What’s it matter, it’s not like I’ve used this room since… just shut up Alex and move.”

“Touchy or what.”

“Sit the fuck down right now.”

Mulder could be fun to wind up now and then, however I didn’t want to push him too far when he had a gun in his hand. For now I would sit down and do what he said, well it wasn’t like I was ready to die just yet. Mulder came over to the bed and fastened my wrist to the headboard, now I was left hoping I didn’t have to sit here like this all night as my arm would soon hurt.

“Right out with it, why are you really here Alex?”

“I’ve already told you that Mulder, I wanted to get you some proof so you’d believe me and know that Spender’s dead.”

“So, where did you suddenly get this information from?”

“I went to a consortium lab, shit I even got shot in the leg trying to get this for you.”

“Maybe you should stop pissing so many people off Alex.”

“Yeah right, Luis always had it in for me and even more so for killing his boss.”

“Yeah well you know all about killing people Alex…”

“I do what I have to do to stay alive Mulder, not everything in life is black and white you know.”

“I’m well aware of that, sometimes borders can be crossed Alex and then there’s no coming back.”

“Yeah I know, that’s why there’s things I won’t even do Mulder.”

“Yeah well we’ll see about that, so where’s this proof anyway?”

“My pocket, I have a camera with plenty of proof on it.”

I went to put my hand in my pocket and Mulder was there in seconds, he grabbed my only free hand and bent the fingers back until I howled in pain.

“What the fuck are you doing Mulder?”

“I just realized that you’ve still got your weapons, just keep your hand where I can see it and I’ll get the camera myself.”

Mulder slapped my hand away and started going through my pockets, I tried to act calm as he removed my gun along with my knife. Shit then he ran his hand down my leg until he found my spare gun too, then finally he pulled out the camera and took a step away from me.

“Stay there Alex while I go and get my laptop, as I want to see your reactions and figure out if the photos are real.”

“Shit their as real as it gets Mulder, plus where the hell do you think I’m going to go anyway?”

“Just shut up.”

Mulder left me there on the bed, not that I could go anywhere or do anything because of the cuffs. So, I sat here thinking about everything that was on the camera and wished I didn’t have to see them again, why the hell couldn’t Mulder go on his computer and look at them alone. Hell maybe because he thinks I’m lying, god then I wondered what the hell would happen if he didn’t believe they were real?

Finally, Mulder returned, this time he came and sat on the bed and was way too close to me for comfort. The man even made himself comfortable as he stretched his legs out in front of him, he then casually placed his laptop on his legs and turned it on.

“You’re quiet Alex, you’re not worried I won’t believe you, are you?”

“No, I’ll still be glad when this is over with though.”

Mulder connected the camera to the laptop and opened the files, the first photos showed that black lunged bastard. You could clearly tell that he’d died from a bullet to his head, also in the background you could tell it was a morgue too. Just looking at the pictures made me feel sick, I guess it was knowing that I myself were capable of such acts against others.

I had to justify what I’d done; at the end of the day it was them or me. Also, it wasn’t like I was out there killing innocent people or children. Mulder just stared at the photo; I knew that he was trying to figure out if his worst enemy was really dead.

“It’s real Mulder, Spender’s dead and deserved to die as so many innocents died because of him.”

“Yeah well, I have to admit that you did the world a favour Alex, I just wonder if he’s the only one responsible for killing innocents?”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean, there was a reason for every person I killed Mulder.”

“Are you sure about that Alex?”

“Yeah I’m not a fuckin monster, I do have some morals Mulder.”

“If you say so.”

Mulder looked at the next two photos that were also Spender, then the next photo was of Sam and the sight hurt more than I expected. Mulder never missed a god damn thing and saw the reaction I’d made, while I just looked away as he looked at all the pictures of the man.

“Did you love him Alex, also I thought you said that you didn’t kill innocent people.”

“I don’t kill innocent people Mulder, believe me Sam was far from innocent.”

“So, he worked for Spender too.”

“Yeah, Spender had people all over the world that would do anything he asked without question.”

“You never answered the other question Alex.”

“What?”

“I said did you love him?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Are you sure about that Alex, you just looked a bit shook up there.”

“Yeah I’m fuckin sure.”

“Well something must have happened between you.”

“What’s the matter Mulder, are you jealous or something?”

“That doesn’t matter Alex, as nothing can happen between us when we are so different.”

“Yeah right, you were the one that changed Mulder. As for Sam, yeah I guess things happened between us and it made me change my way of thinking about somethings. Not that any of that matters either, as usual he betrayed me like everyone does sooner or later.”

“Alex you deserve all you get, hell how many people have you betrayed?”

“I betrayed Spender for you Mulder, stealing that information was what got me sent to that hell hole in the first place.”

“Yeah well I’m sorry that it happened to you Alex, and I am thankful for all the information you provided me with.”

“Yeah whatever, I was sent there to be tortured Mulder… Spender had wanted Sam to put me in my place and teach me a lesson and believe me he did torture me, right until I became so ill and my kidneys nearly failed.”

“God I’m sorry Alex.”

“I don’t want your sympathy Mulder; I would do it all over again if it helped you in any way at all.”

“Don’t say that Alex…”

“Why it’s true, I recovered and was starting to feel like my old self again and I wanted out of there. A time came and I saw an opportunity to escape, so I took it despite I never really had anywhere to go.”

“So, what happened Alex?”

“They finally found me and took me back to the prison, then I found myself back in that room with Sam again. Spender knew everything that had happened and about my escape, he said that Sam was to punish me and could do what the hell he wanted to me.”

“Oh shit…”

“It’s not what you think Mulder… Sam had learnt that even the pain and suffering never taught me anything, I just got back up afterwards and went straight back to rebelling against everyone again.”

“So, what did he do then?”

“He showed me kindness and I couldn’t handle it, I guess no one had ever treat me like I actually mattered to them. Then he took it one step farther and we had a few drinks together, it wasn’t love Mulder, I guess I just wanted a friend.”

“We could have been friends once, maybe if things were different when you were my partner…”

“Yeah I know, I have many regrets when it comes to you Mulder.”

“It’s the past Alex and we need to move on, also I need to look at the rest of the photos too.”

This time I had to look away, no way did I want to see the photos that looked how I would if I were dead. Once was enough and I still saw the images, especially when I was trying to sleep on a night. I could hear Mulder gasp as he went through the photos, even still I’d not expected his next move. He pushed the laptop onto the bed and left the room in a hurry, then all I could hear was him throwing up in the bathroom.

I couldn’t understand if he was upset because it was me, or if he knew it was the clone that had given him everything he wanted. Shit and I couldn’t even go and find out either, that or even offer the man some form of comfort. All I could do was sit here and wait for Mulder to return, this all just made me realize how fucked up both of us was in one way or another. Finally, the bedroom door opened and Mulder walked in looking rather rough. The man walked across the room and came back to the bed and sat down, he then closed the laptop and but it down beside the bed.

“Are you alright Mulder?”

“Yeah, maybe a bit of warning would have been good though.”

“Sorry I didn’t think it would bother you, well not because of me anyway.”

“What are you talking about Alex?”

“Was you upset because you saw me when you looked at the body, or was you upset because it was the clone who’d treat you as you wanted?”

“You fuckin bastard, how can you even say that Alex?”

“I have to know Mulder; I just have a feeling you preferred the clone over me.”

“I love you Alex, yet things have gone way beyond that now.”

“I know, I just wanted you to see the proof and know Spender wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Yeah I know and thanks, I can see that the photos look very real Alex. I guess proof outweighs everything else, I can’t deny the evidence, can I?”

“Well you could but…”

“Alex you do understand that with proof things can change, I don’t mean this with Spender either.”

“So, what is all this about Mulder?”

“I accepted that you’ve done things that were wrong, however you always had a valid reason for doing the things you do. That would change if you did something bad and there was proof, I couldn’t turn my back and deny what you’d done.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything different; I know who you are and how you feel Mulder.”

“So, have you done anything that I should know about Alex, have you committed a crime that…”

“Just fuckin spit it out Mulder.”

“Okay, have you done anything that you don’t want me to know about, something that there might be proof of that would change everything?”

“Mulder you know who I am and why I do what I do, I’ve only ever killed men who deserve it.”

“Well for now I have to believe you, shit I love you Alex and don’t want to see you suffer despite going our own way. I’d still love you if you’ve done something wrong, however I could never forgive you if they were innocent.”

“What’s brought all this on Mulder, look if there’s something just tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter, look let’s just deal with the here and now while we can.”

“So, what happens now Mulder?”

“I really don’t know; shit why the hell did I have to fall in love with a cold blooded killer…”

“Hey, I fell in love with a highly intelligent man that’s relentless and never gives in, a man that is far better than me in everyway and it should never have happened.”

“It would never have worked Alex, surely you must be able to see that?”

“Seeing it and accepting it are two different things Mulder.”

“Well in your favour, both Scully and Skinner said they’d apologize to you if you showed them some proof of the clone.”

“Yeah I found Scully rather reasonable, well compared to Skinner that is.”

“You can’t blame him after what the clone made him do, he honestly believed it was you making me do all those things. Neither of them agreed with what the clone did, hell maybe they’d see you as an improvement.”

“Well that would be something.”

“Alex, I need you to leave.”

“Yeah well it’s a bit hard when I’m cuffed to the bed Mulder.”

“I don’t just mean now; I need you to go and never come back or see me again. Shit I’m too weak to make you go Alex, yeah I can throw you out because I know you’ll come back.”

“What makes you think I’m strong enough, maybe I could if it were anyone but you.”

“Alex I’m investigating something and I shouldn’t even be seen with you, it would seriously compromise my career as I’m the leading officer.”

“Does it concern me Mulder?”

“Yeah it does.”

“Tell me what it is and maybe I can help.”

“I can’t Alex.”

“Why the hell not.”

“Because I have to work through this myself, I have to know that what I find is the truth so I can deal with it.”

“So, what are you saying Mulder, that I wouldn’t tell you the truth?”

“I don’t know any more Alex; would you tell me the truth if it meant a lifetime in prison.”

“Shit what the hell is it that you think I’ve done?”

“I can’t say.”

“Mulder I’ve only killed people with ties to the consortium, which there would be no evidence of or anything that could lead to me.”

“What about Spenders body and the others.”

“I took the photos over a week ago Mulder, I’d have come sooner but a bullet to my leg slowed me down somewhat. The bodies will be long gone now, turned to ash and no longer evidence against anyone.”

“How convenient.”

“What, would it make you happy if I went to prison for someone like Spender?”

“No of course it wouldn’t, look I just want to deal with it without the consortium having their say.”

“Fine have it your way, just let me know what you find out as I’d be interested to know.”

“Now do you understand why I shouldn’t be with you?”

“Yeah I understand, yet here we are together.”

“Alex can I kiss you?”

“Yeah I ‘d like that.”

Mulder rolled over so he was on his stomach and pressed against me, then within seconds his mouth was pressed against my own and I was lost. Then Mulder worked his tongue into my mouth turning me on even more than ever. All I could do was grab his hair and pull his head as close as possible, he’d never kissed me as deeply as this and I didn’t want it to end. I ran my fingers through his hair loving the feel of it, then I ran my hand down lower and froze.

“Alex are you okay?”

“You’re still wearing the fuckin collar Mulder.”

“Do you want to fuck me Alex?”

“You know I do; I just can’t do it while you wear that Mulder. Shit the clone is nothing more, how the hell can you wear something that makes that thing your master?”

“It’s who I am Alex and what turns me on.”

“Just let me go Mulder.”

“Why can’t you give me what I want Alex, I want you to order me and make me take what you give me.”

“No chance.”

“Fine have it your own way.”

Mulder got up and disappeared from the room, he then returned a few minutes later carrying a box. I also noticed that he’d managed to lose his clothes too while he was gone, I shuddered as I knew Mulder had no intention of letting me go. I’d practically told him that I wanted him, however it looked like it was going to be on his terms or not at all. It was then that he came over to the bed and stood looking down at me, Jesus the man was such a turn on and that wasn’t helping right now.

“Sit up Alex.”

“Why, what the hell are you doing Mulder?”

“Helping you undress, I want you to remove the jacket from your free arm.”

“Then what, I can’t take it fully off if the others restrained.”

“Alex I’m not leaving you uncuffed so forget it.”

I figured I’d just play along for now; I removed the jacket from my free arm and waited to see what Mulder would do. Shit then the bastard pulled out another set of handcuffs. My free arm was now cuffed and the other arm released, Mulder had managed to remove my jacket without giving me any freedom at all.

“There, that’s far better without the jacket.”

“Now what?”

Mulder placed my jacket over a chair and came back over to me, he then used the second set of cuffs so that both my hands were now restrained.

“What the hell…”

“Quiet Alex, I’m just going to play a game that will please and benefit us both.”

“What fuckin game Mulder?”

“Well, you will get to sort of fuck me…”

“What the hell do you mean by, sort of?”

“Well I’m going to fuck myself on your cock Alex, sit on you and force it deep up my ass until I come screaming.”

“So why cuff me then?”

“Because I’m going to pretend you’re my master Alex, that this is what you want and your ordering me to please you.”

“Shit you’ve lost the plot Mulder, if I were in charge you’d be the one suffering.”

“Oh, don’t doubt me Alex, I have a good imagination and can even do things to myself to get off. You just have to lay there like a good little boy and enjoy it.”

“How can I enjoy it while you wear that collar.”

“Secretly I think you’re jealous of the clone Alex, because things had gone way further than they ever had with the two of us.”

“Whatever, your plan also has one other flaw Mulder.”

“What would that be?”

“You can only use me if I remain hard.”

“Yeah that’s a good point Alex.”

Mulder climbed off the bed and started removing my boots and socks, it wasn’t long before he then made light work of my jeans and underwear too. Soon I was laid on the bed in just a tee shirt, while Mulder went back to his box and started rooting around once more. He returned carrying a pair of sharp looking scissors and something I couldn’t see; well I knew I’d find out what he was up to soon enough.

“Don’t look so worried Alex, I’m just going to remove the tee shirt and it’ll be easier to just cut it away now.”

“Mulder, shit you don’t need too…”

“Shut up Alex, I can give you one of mine when it’s time for you to leave.”

Soon I was laid there and totally naked, then Mulder moved down the bed until his mouth became level with my groin. Fuck the man had such a talented mouth at times, especially when it was wrapped around my erection and he was sucking me off. I couldn’t help but moan out in pleasure, Mulder was soon working up a rhythm and I was already close to exploding.

I was in heaven and then Mulder played the dirtiest trick possible, I felt his mouth move away when I was so close to release. Every nerve in my body was throbbing in time with my erection, then the bastard went and used the cock ring on me.

“Well I won’t have to worry about you coming any time soon.”

“You fuckin bastard, get it off me Mulder or else.”

“Or else what Alex, don’t worry I’ll let you come when I’ve had my fun.”

“Fuck you Mulder, you can’t do this to me…”

“Yes, I can Alex and you know it’s what you want.”

“What, for you to pretend I’m that fucking clone?”

“Alex I’m well aware of who I’m with, I love you and want you so much. Despite the fact I know it’s wrong and that this might be the only time this happens.”

Mulder worried me at times, yes I wanted this more than anything too but something felt wrong. It was as if he knew something was going to happen to me and soon. Mulder placed a few more things on the bed beside him, then all I could do was watch as he grabbed the lube and started using it on my erection. The feeling was so intense and I’d come if he kept it up, the urge felt so strong that even the cock ring wouldn’t do much good.

“Mulder please…”

“What’s the matter Alex?”

“Too much…please just slow down or I’m not going to last long!”

“Sorry, I was getting a bit carried away there and never thought.”

“Mulder shut the fuck up, if you’re doing this just get on with it.”

“Now who’s the impatient one…”

“You don’t realize how long I’ve waited for this Mulder…”

Jesus I was too far gone to care what Mulder did to me now, his hand had felt like electric on my body and every neve pulsed. It was then that I realized there was no stopping this no matter what, not that I wanted to stop this man from giving me what I’d always wanted.

Mulder sat over me and lined his ass up with my groin, then he pressed his ass against the tip of my erection until it entered his body. Mulder waited a few seconds more, then suddenly he was pushing himself further down until he became fully impaled on my cock.

“Oh god Mulder…”

“Do you like that Alex?”

“God yes, fuck you’re so tight Fox.”

“Do you want me to carry on Alex, do you want me to please you master and make you feel so good?”

“Fuck…”

“Alex answer me.”

“Yes, oh god I want you to fuck yourself on my cock Fox until you can’t take any more.”

Mulder could call me master, or what the hell he wanted for that matter. I was way too far gone now and felt too good, I didn’t want to do anything that might make him stop and end this feeling. Mulder slowed down and grabbed his own nipples, now I was more turned on than ever as he squeezed them into hard buds.

The man was so fuckin hot and it was me he wanted, then suddenly he was squeezing himself hard enough to make him moan out loud. The sounds were so erotic and such a turn on, then Mulder reached down and grabbed something from the bed.

Then all I could do was watch him; the man fascinated me as he showed me the clamps he had in his hand. I could tell that they were rather mean looking nipple clams, especially as he opened and closed them in front of me. Then one by one Mulder used them on himself, at first he screamed out as each one clamped shut around the sensitive little buds that were now pierced.

“Jesus Mulder, what the hell are you trying to do to me?”

“Do you like that Alex, does it please you master to see me like this.”

“Yes, god I want to touch you Fox…”

“Not yet Alex, soon if you behave yourself.”

Mulder started moving up and down on my erection once more, I noticed that his face flushed and he moaned every time the clamps pulled against his nipples. I’d never felt this turned on in my life before, then suddenly his hand was grabbing my nipples and squeezing them until they were hard. I realized that Mulder wanted far more than this though, especially as he grabbed the collar that was around his neck. Mulder grabbed it so tight, shit then I realized that he was going to get off while doing this.

Apparently, the thrill of auto asphyxiation turned the man on, all I could do was watch as his eyes started to bulge and he struggled to breathe. The thought of him going too far scared the hell out of me, I even said his name and started bucking against him to get his attention. Well that wasn’t one of my best ideas, that just turned him on even more and he started fucking himself as hard as he could on my erection.

Then suddenly he screamed out and came all over my chest, Mulder literally collapsed on top of me and lay there for a while. While all I could do was lay here and pray he’d remove the cock ring soon, as I knew I’d come as soon as it was removed after what Mulder had done.

“Fox please…”

“What do you want Alex?”

“Please let me come Fox.”

“Soon babe.”

“Fox, I need to come now.”

“No, you want to come now.”

“Fox, I said let me come now!”

“Is that an order Alex?”

“Oh god yes, make me come now Fox.”

“Yes master.”

Right now, I was prepared to order Fox and make him do it, I was desperate and my body was beyond everything other than wanting release. Mulder got up and released the cock ring, he started jerking me off and I came within seconds. I’d never felt anything like that before and must have passed out, and I came around to see Fox beside me and stroking my cheek.

“Hey, are you still with me Alex?”

“Only just, can you release me so that I can hold you Mulder?”

Mulder released my arms, first I had to overcome the pain as the sensation returned. Mulder had disappeared into the bathroom and I heard water running, I was surprised when he returned with a cloth and started cleaning up my chest and groin.

“I love you Alex.”

“I love you too Mulder.”

“You do know this should never have happened and we can’t repeat it.”

“Jesus Mulder, so are you saying that you just fuckin used me?”

“I’m a federal agent Alex, you have to understand how hard this is for me.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that sooner Mulder, like before you slept with the fuckin enemy.”

I jumped up off the bed and couldn’t take this anymore, my heart was breaking into tiny pieces and I had to get out of here.

“You were the one that kept coming back, in some ways you deserve all you get.”

“You immature fuckin prick, maybe you should just kill me Mulder then I can’t come back. No you couldn’t do that, you have an image to live up to after all. You couldn’t let saint Scully down or upset her. Then there’s your boss, and who knows, one day you might want him to fuck you with his fist again…”

“You fuckin bastard…”

Within seconds Mulder was off the bed and I was slammed against the wall, he then held me there with his arm pressed tight against my throat. Mulder was a fuckin enigma and I’d never figure him out, or what the hell he truly wanted from me.

“You always have to keep pushing me Alex, push push push, that’s all you do.”

“You fuckin used me Mulder.”

Mulder never even got to answer me, we both heard a noise and turned around to see Skinner stood there in the doorway. Now I was well and truly fucked, the only good thing was that Mulder had relaxed his arm and I could pull away.

“What the hell’s going on here Agent Mulder, I knocked but you never answered me so I let myself in.”

“Nothing’s going on Sir.”

“Really, so why the hell is a known felon in your bedroom and naked Agent Mulder?”

“It was a mistake and he’s just leaving.”

I couldn’t take this anymore; Mulder was treating me like I was dirt and well beneath him. Shit only five minutes ago everything was so perfect, well as usual I went and opened my mouth.

“Yeah well your precious agent’s good at fucking people and using them, hang around Skinner and he might let you use him again…”

Fuck the punch to my stomach really hurt from all the abusive it was taking, then Mulder casually just stepped back as I fell to my knees. Like an idiot, I muttered something under my breath and he didn’t like it. This time Mulder grabbed my throat once more and forced me to look at him, then he was right in my face as he spat the words out at me.

“Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back, it’s over Alex.”

Mulder walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door behind him, now I was left in the same room as Skinner and that scared the hell out of me. Even so he spoke to me gently and held his hand out, I was really surprised when he helped me to me feet without hitting me once.

“Alex, I suggest you get dressed and leave.”

“Everything was so perfect and I thought he wanted me; however I was the idiot as he used me once more to get what he wanted.”

“Dress while I go talk to him.”

“I brought him the proof he wanted and thought he’d accepted me for who I am, yet I wasn’t good enough for Fox Mulder.”

“Where’s the proof now?”

“Mulder has it why?”

“I just want to see it for myself, however that can wait until this is dealt with.”

Skinner left and I struggled to dress myself, it was hard leaning forward to put my socks on and lace my boots up. Finally, I was dressed and I knew that I couldn’t stay in here forever, so I took a deep breath and went in the room where both Mulder and Skinner waited. Mulder had grabbed a robe and was sat down on the couch; Skinner was sat next to him and they didn’t even notice I was there at first.

“Well don’t you both look cosy together, you don’t waste any time do you Mulder.”

“Grow the fuck up Alex.”

“Why don’t you come here and make me, that or are you too busy trying to get it on with Skinner.”

Shit I was a fuckin idiot and never knew when to shut up, I knew one day I’d dig my own grave with my mouth. Mulder moved and was on me in seconds, then he had me pinned to the floor I was unable to move. This time he never held back with his fists on my defenceless body, over and over he kept punching me until Skinner dragged him off.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment right now.”

I staggered to me feet and knew in that instant that this was all over, one look at Mulders face and I knew he meant every word he said. Mulder walked away while Skinner opened the door for me, I’d never felt so useless and defeated as I did right now. My heart was breaking and I was coming undone, yet for some reason I didn’t want to fall apart in front of Mulder.

“Alex go home, there’s things going on here that you know nothing about.”

“So why doesn’t someone just tell me then.”

“Because it’s something Mulders working on, a case that I know nothing about.”

“How can you not know?”

“It had to be this way, Mulder wanted a team of agents that had no connections to myself or you.”

“I don’t understand what’s with all this cloak and dagger stuff, I guess I could hack into the Hoover files.”

“Alex I wouldn’t tell me that, also I’m not sure if you’ll even find anything there. At the moment I can’t truly trust you, maybe things might be different after I see the proof.”

“What’s it matter now?”

“Maybe you deserve some leeway, I know you did a lot because of Spender.”

“Mulder has made his feelings clear, look I’m going before he decides to come back and hit me again.”

“Good idea.”

I walked out of there leaving Mulder along with my heart, how the fuck could I move forward from this. Hell, just knowing the man hated me was enough to push me completely over the edge.

In the end I returned to my car and just sat there thinking about what I was going to do, well for now I’d stay at the club as they had plenty of alcohol. A few nights there and then I’d return to my apartment, hell if someone wanted to break in and kill me, so be it. Shit then I realized the Steve might be at work, if so he’d limit the amount of vodka the staff would serve me. That was okay, a quick trip to the liquor store would get me what I wanted, I drove to the nearest one and soon had two bottles of the strongest vodka they sold.

I made it back to the club and went straight to my room, then I even slammed it shut and locked it for good measure. How come I hurt so bad and wanted some physical release, yet I could never raise a hand to Fox and cause him actual pain. Well at least I was in the right place if pain was what I really wanted, I suppose first I should go and have a couple of drinks at the bar and socialize. I really wasn’t in the mood; however, I didn’t want Steve to question where I’d got drunk.

I’d have a few drinks at the bar and then go back to my room and get hammered, then later I’d go out and seek someone in the club that would give me what I wanted. Straight away I noticed Steve at the bar, shit and here I was looking like hell. The man would know straight away who’d done this to me, well maybe it might work in my favour and make sure Mulder didn’t touch me again. I wanted to feel his hands on me like before, the time when he told me how much he loved me.

“Any chance of getting a drink around here?”

“Yeah I’ll get you a double vodka, as you sure as hell look like you need it.”

“Yeah I guess I do.”

“I take it things didn’t go too well with Agent Mulder.”

“He used me in the worst way possible and then threw me out, oh and he also beat me a few times too.”

“Alex you have to let him go and move on, otherwise you’re going to wind up dead in a ditch.”

“Yeah I think I’ve realized that, Steve will you promise me something?”

“I will if I can, you should know that by now Alex.”

“I can’t guarantee Mulder won’t show up…Shit if he does, I just want you to keep him the hell away from me as I can’t deal with him or any of this.”

“Yeah I can do that, you look like shit though and really need to sort yourself out Alex.”

“I don’t know if I can, he’s worn me down so much and now I’m coming undone. I’m literally falling apart Steve, and I’m not sure if I can come back from everything that’s happened to me.”

“Maybe you need to get some professional help, see someone and discuss everything with them.”

“Yeah right, how can I tell a stranger about some of the things I’ve done. God and then there’s the things that people have done to me.”

“Okay I can see your point Alex; some things are best left buried in the past. I’m here for you and will listen to anything you want to tell me, I’m just not sure if I can offer any good advice though.”

“I just need a friend right now.”

“Well that I can be.”

“Thanks, are you here all night?”

“Only until ten, even I take a night off now and again Alex.”

“Hey, you deserve one.”

“Why did you want to know anyway?”

“I just wondered, I guess I wanted to know in case I needed someone to talk to.”

“I’ll only be a phone call away Alex, you can call me at any time of day or night if you need to talk.”

“I appreciate that.”

Little did he know that talking was the last thing on my mind, I had more chance of getting what I wanted later without him in the way. Steve meant well and I did appreciate that, however I knew he’d stop anything if I went too far. Steve wouldn’t let people participate if you had problems, he’d claim that I was incapable of controlling what was happening and I’d take things too far. Well the man wasn’t wrong, however tonight I wanted the pain that only came if you pushed things beyond the limits.

“Your miles away, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I think I need to get a shower and some sleep.”

“Yeah maybe that would do you good, just don’t be drinking too much and getting drunk.”

“There’s no worries of that right now.”

“How come?”

“I need to check out a few things and wondered if I could borrow your laptop again, I will be fine as I need to keep a clear head right now.”

“Is it something that I should be concerned about?”

“No, Mulder just mentioned something that concerned me that’s all.”

“Okay, just make sure you stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah I will do.”

Steve went and got his laptop for me and then I returned to my room, I could get drunk later if Steve wasn’t going to be working tonight. First, I wanted to see what the hell Mulder was working on, especially as it was something that could affect me and my new freedom. Yeah because I’d already done so much with my freedom, I should have taken a plane and fucked off miles away from here and Mulder.

Staying here was only hurting myself, I could be on a beach somewhere where no one knew who I was or what I’d done. Soon I had the laptop up and running, shit I had to admit that I was tempted to log on to the airport and see what planes were leaving today. My need to know what was going on meant more to me than anything, maybe I’d run if it was worse than I thought or if my life was at risk.

I had no problem accessing the Hoover database once more, then I searched for Fox Mulder to find out what he was doing. Shit straight away a message popped up saying all information was classified, only the highest level of clearance could proceed. Now I was wondering if I could go any farther, I was willing to try when suddenly my phone started ringing. At first, I considered ignoring it as I had far more important stuff to deal with, then I notice the name was Mulders and had to answer it. I was like a moth to a flame, yeah burnt was all I’d ever get when I was around the man.

“What do you want Mulder?”

“I know what you’re doing Alex?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know that someone’s trying to access my file and see what I’m doing, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who it is.”

“It could be anyone Mulder…”

“Keep it up Alex and I’ll do a trace, then I’ll send so many agents there you’ll wish you’d never met me.”

“Maybe I already wish that I hadn’t met you.”

“Look just drop it, you won’t find anything on file because I made sure of it.”

“There has to be some sort of record Mulder…”

“Yeah only on paper for now Alex, I wanted to believe that you were somewhat human and I have to deal with this matter. Like you said yourself Alex, proof is everything.”

“Yeah well I’ve done nothing, so how about you get back to me when you have your so called proof.”

“Oh, don’t worry I will, just stay out of my way until then Alex.”

“Yeah whatever Mulder.”

Mulder hung up and I sat there staring at the phone, well fuck him and fuck all this shit. I returned the laptop to Steve and took a long overdue shower, subconsciously I hadn’t wanted to wash away the traces of my time with Mulder. I showered until I felt clean once more and started to relax, then I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist, I then went into the bedroom and opened one of the bottles of vodka. All I wanted was to get drunk and forget about everything else, the alcohol started to make me relax and soon enough my brain turned to Mulder once more and what had happened.

I had to wonder why my life had to be so fucked up, was I really so bad that I deserved all the suffering and pain. I just wanted a reasonably normal life like everyone else, maybe also with a special someone to share it with. No, my life was pain and nothing more, even the people I’d killed deserved to die and never suffered this much pain. I knew that I was becoming depressed and that drinking wasn’t a good idea, yet right now I couldn’t bring myself to stop.

I wanted to carry on drinking, yet I had to be able to walk out there or no one would come near me or punish me. In the end I got up and opened the small fridge that was in the room, as usual there were plenty of bottled water inside. Well I figured this would be a good idea and nobody would be any wiser, I grabbed a large bottle and emptied the contents down the sink, once done I re filled the bottle with vodka instead.

Once done I grabbed some loose fitting clothes and managed to get dressed, now it was time to find a willing partner and get what I wanted. The club was rather full and the music was loud, so maybe that would be good and I wouldn’t draw too much attention to myself. I knew there were men here in the private rooms who were looking for someone to punish, it didn’t take me long to find someone who was willing to be my master for the evening and give in to my needs.

This was nothing like Mulder wanted from life, he wanted a full time master who would deal with all his problems for him and keep him under control. Well for me it was far different, all I wanted was a harsh punishment for all the wrongs I’d done in my sad pathetic life.

The man was trying to talk to me and see what I wanted from him, I wasn’t stupid and knew he was weighing up just how drunk I was before he did anything he might regret. At the end of the day everyone had to answer to Steve if there was a problem, and he was the type that preferred his clients to get drunk after any form of punishment.

At the moment I felt really good and ready to receive my punishment, maybe it was just the drink and the few pills I’d taken that was making me feel this way. Soon the man introduced himself as Joe and asked if I were ready, we then both left and went to the nearest room and locked the door behind us.

“So, what is it you truly want Alex?”

“I need to be punished, I want you to use the whip and make sure I truly feel what you do to me.”

“How much have you drunk tonight, and don’t tell me nothing as I can see for myself that you have.”

“I had a couple of neat vodkas, that was over an hour ago and I feel fine now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hell yes, I know exactly what I want from you and can go elsewhere if that’s a problem.”

“No, I’m okay with that, I just had to make sure that’s all.”

“Yeah I can understand that, we all know what Steve’s like.”

“Yeah true, have you got a safe word Alex?”

“No, I don’t need one.”

“Well humour me then, as I myself can get engrossed in what I’m doing and forget my own strength.”

“Okay if it makes you happy, my safe word can be fox.”

“Right do you want to strip, it’s up to you if it’s just the tee shirt or everything.”

“I’d prefer to remove everything, that way you’ve more room to inflict the pain.”

“There is one thing I need to know right from the start Alex.”

“What’s that?”

“Is this a punishment, or do you want it to be sexual too?”

“I just want to be punished harshly; beyond that I don’t want anything else.”

I removed all my clothes and placed them on the chair nearby, I then grabbed the water bottle and drank the entire contents. Well at least the bloke thought it was just water which was good, I’d be restrained and out of it from the pain before he realized I was drunk.

“Right how do you want to do this Alex; I can restrain you against the wall if that’s good for you?”

“Yeah that’s okay.”

“Right stand against the wall with your hands above your head and wide apart.”

I did as he said and soon both my arms were stretched out and restrained, then I felt him kick my legs wide apart before restraining them too. I shivered as my body was pressed against the cold wall, not that it would last as soon I’d be burning up and will welcome the cool surface.

“Are you comfortable with that Alex?”

“Yeah I’m good, there is just one other thing though.”

“Go on.”

“Will you blindfold me?”

“Yeah if that’s what you really want.”

“Yeah it adds to the effect, I guess it makes the punishment feel more real.”

“Yeah I can see that, hold still then.”

Joe placed the blindfold over my eyes and everything became black, now I would only be able to focus on the pain and how it made me feel.

“Before we start I’ll explain what will happen, as I do have a few rules of my own and don’t want to permanently hurt you.”

“Can you hurry up then.”

“I will strike you ten times and then stop to see if you’re okay, I’ll also ask you if you want to use your safe word.”

“Yeah okay then what?”

“If you say no, I’ll proceed, however after every ten I will repeat the same procedure.”

“Yeah I’m okay with that.”

“Good, shall we get started then?”

“Yeah I’m ready when you are.”

“Okay brace yourself.”

The first strike was aimed right across my back, shit the man wasn’t joking when he said he had some strength behind him. Then the next two came down fast and I cried out, I knew that I had to get my head into the right place before he did all ten. That was how I coped with the pain, I accepted it and became one with it.

I think we were on the eighth one when my mind started floating away, I was in my own sub space and knew I could handle anything he did to me now. I’d learnt over the years how to survive the most brutal beatings; the worst were the ones that were done to me in this very club.

The whip came down twice more and stopped, Joe asked if I wanted to use my safe word and the answer was no. I was finally getting to the point I had to be at, you see that’s what I’d done in the basement when I was restrained in that room. At first, I’d screamed at everyone and threatened to kill them all, then it was as if I were floating and suddenly the pain meant nothing to me.

At the time it had pissed off Spender, yet no matter what they did to me I accepted it. Yeah it hurt really bad, then it was like I was drugged and looking down on someone else. It was just a shell that I’d left lying there on that table, somewhere during the process my mind had separated from the body that held it back.

The worst came later on, once the rush was over and my mind re connected with my body. When that had happened, shit I was in agony and was once again threatening to kill everyone. Suddenly I felt something on my arm and realized that Joe was talking to me, I then heard him mentioning something about stopping.

“Alex, I need to know if you want to use your safe word now?”

“No.”

“I’ve done thirty strikes now, to be honest I don’t think your body can take another ten.”

“It’s my choice.”

“Fine, just let me check you out and grab a drink of water.”

“Yeah okay, it’s not as if I’m going anywhere.”

“Great there’s no water left; I’ll just pop to the bar.”

I let my mind go back to that calming place and was lost once more, once there time meant nothing and I had no idea how long Joe was gone for. Then I heard the door open and close and knew I was no longer alone, hopefully we could get this show back on the road and back to where I were. I braced myself ready for the whip, then someone grabbed my jaw and pulled the blindfold off. The light blinded me, however there was no mistaking the voice that spoke to me.

“I warned you Alex, you’re lucky that Joe here had the sense to call me.”

“Hey Steve…”

“Open your eyes Alex, have you taken something as your pupils are dilated?”

“No nothing…”

“Don’t lie to me or else.”

“Okay I took a couple of pain killers that’s all.”

“Did you know about this Joe?”

“No, he never told me, oh and he only had that bottle of water with him when he came here.”

Steve looked at me once more and then let go of my jaw, he then strode over to the chair and grabbed the empty water bottle. Shit then he had to go and put the last few drops on his hand and taste it; I could tell by his face that he knew exactly what it was and what I’d done.

“So, you drank this full bottle of neat vodka on top of medication!”

“I’m okay so stop worrying.”

“You’re okay because you’re as high as a kite Alex, I’m going to remove all the restraints then I’ll help you back to your room.”

“I can manage on my own…”

“I’m taking you there Alex, you can also remain there until you sober up and then I’ll deal with you.”

“Whatever.”

Steve removed all the restraints and I had all on keeping myself upright, okay maybe this had gone too far and I’d really suffer once the high wore off. For now, all I could do was watch as Steve grabbed my clothes and spoke to Joe, he then came over and helped me return to my room. Once there I was dropped onto the bed and just left there, not that it mattered as I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Morning soon came around and my body ached, shit and then my ass was on fire as I went to sit up. Then everything that happened last night came back to me, I remembered what I’d done and knew I’d suffer for it for some time to come. I knew I couldn’t stay in bed all day though and had to move, first I pulled on some sweats and a tee shirt. I had thought about wearing my jeans, but god just the thought made my backside ache.

I went to grab a bottle of water and noticed an envelope on the small table, there was also a note telling me it was left here last night. I looked at it and straight away I recognized the handwriting, why the hell would Mulder leave something here for me. First, I turned it over a couple of time in my hands, well it was Mulder after all and he seemed to want to hurt me right now.

Finally, I stood there and opened the envelope, inside there was just a single folded up piece of paper and my heart started pounding.

You keep looking Alex and never find what you want, well soon enough the truth will find you and you won’t need to look anymore. Right now, I hate you for who you are and I hate you for what you’ve done to me, you took my heart and destroyed it in the worst way possible. Just thinking about what we did together, only to find out I’d laid in the arms of a mass murderer. You killed innocent people Alex and deserve to suffer, you are now nothing to me other than an enemy, one who I will bring down and destroy. I’m coming for you so you’d better watch your back, you are nothing and would do well to remember that.

The letter wasn’t signed or anything, not that it mattered as only Fox Mulder could condemn me in a letter. Suddenly I felt sick and couldn’t breathe, I had to get away from here and everyone around me. I felt as if the walls were closing in and my life was over. I lost it completely and came undone right where I stood, there was no one here that I could take my anger out on and I needed some release.

In the end my temper got the better of me, within the space of five minutes I tore the room apart. I smashed anything that I could get my hands on and then threw it to the floor, then that was when I grabbed my jacket and the knife fell to the floor. I sat there totally mesmerized by the sharp metallic blade, then suddenly someone had grabbed me and hands were prizing the knife away from my own.

“Alex calm down.”

“Let me fuckin go, I swear I’ll kill you Steve if you don’t.”

“I can’t stand here and let you destroy yourself, I’m your friend and in this with you whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t need anyone.”

“Yes you do Alex, and I’m sorry but for now I’m all you’ve got.”

I sat there on the bed and Steve ordered someone to get me some meds and a glass of water. Part of me didn’t want to take anymore meds, but the other part of me thought why the hell not.

“Take the pills and get some sleep Alex, we can deal with everything else later on.”

“I thought I was safe here, yet Mulder still came here and brought that letter…”

“He was sent straight away Alex, I promised you that he won’t hurt you while you’re here.”

“Please keep him away from me, he hates me now and thinks I’m pathetic. Shit I’d prove him right if he could see me like this, that’s why you can’t let him in here.”

“I won’t let him in Alex, and not because of what he’ll see. I won’t let him in because of what he might do, you’re a good person Alex and don’t need to answer to him.”

“Thanks Steve, for everything and dealing with my crap.”

“Sleep and that’s an order.”

I lay there on the bed as soon as he left but sleep wouldn’t come, after another five minutes I got up and popped a few more pain killers. I knew that I was taking a risk and would be high, however I was hoping they’d wear off by the time I woke up.

I’d fallen asleep and then some noise woke me up, I realized the there was some sort of commotion going on outside my room and then suddenly the door flew open and Mulder stood there alongside Steve.

“You promised me that you wouldn’t let Mulder in here…”

“I’m so sorry Alex, however this time he has a warrant and I couldn’t stop him.”

Mulder came over to the bed and told me to stand up, he them put my arms behind my back and cuffed me.

“Alex Krycek, I’m arresting you on suspicion of Murder. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”

“Who the fuck am I supposed to have killed Mulder?”

“You have the right to talk to a lawyer and have him present while you are been questioned…”

“For fucks sake answer me Mulder, where’s the bodies, where’s the proof of anything.”

“If you cannot afford a lawyer at this time, oh to hell with the rest as you already know it anyway.”

“You can’t arrest me for Spender, there’s no body or any evidence Mulder.”

“This has nothing to do with any of those old men as they deserved to die, I warned you Alex what would happen if I found out anything.”

“So, who am I supposed to have killed then?”

“Where the hell do I start, Emily and Louise Parker plus both of their parents. Then there were another five names that I can’t remember off the top of my head.”

“I’ve never even met the people you speak of, never mind supposedly killing them.”

“You can explain yourself at the station, you will be held there indefinitely and questioned by myself.”

“So, this is the big case you were working on?”

“I told you that you deserve all you get Alex, Emily and Louise Parker were twins and was only seven years old.”

“Oh god no, I could never hurt a fuckin child Mulder. Shit you have to believe me, hell if you don’t believe me this is well and truly over with.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

I was led in handcuffs to Mulder's waiting car and placed inside, now I was beginning to wish that I’d cut my losses and ran while I had the chance to do so.

End of Book Two Alex

Next Book Three Mulder


	5. Chapter 5

Black is the Soul

Book Three Fox Mulder

I’d swear that my life was far more fucked up than I realized, and now everything that I’d worked for had come down to this. I was driving back to the Hoover with Alex cuffed, shit I’d honestly wanted to believe that the man I loved wasn’t capable of such brutal acts against others. I looked into my mirror and saw him sat there with his head down, he’d hardly said a word to me once I’d told him what he was being charged with.

The pair of us had already gone through so much together, and apart too, however I didn’t want to believe any of this was possible. Above everything else my job had always come first and I was good at what I did, I’d spend many weeks searching for something that would show he was innocent in all of this.

Right now though his silence bothered me the most, I guess I was afraid that he’d give up and see no way out of the dark hole that he was in. Hell, not that I could help him there though, the evidence was strong that linked him to the crimes he was accused of.

In some ways I was glad when I finally reached the Hoover, now I had to get him out of the car and into an interview room. I also had a feeling that the man would need watching at all times too. Alex always got stressed and panicked if he couldn’t handle something, that or he’d try running at the first chance he got.

“Right Alex it’s time to move, just get out of the car and walk until I tell you otherwise.”

“I do know my way around the place Mulder.”

“Yeah sorry, I keep forgetting that they actually let you in the FBI and even made you an agent.”

“I’m not stupid Mulder, I earned my place here and the position of an agent.”

“Yeah well it’s easier I guess if you know certain people.”

“Fuck you, I passed all the tests without any help from anyone else Mulder.”

“If you say so, right go in that room there and sit down.”

I turned and locked the door behind us, for now I wouldn’t make any of this fully official. I planned to interview him on my own first and keep it off the record, I just wanted to see what his excuses would be without another agent present. In some ways what I was doing was risky and downright stupid, I myself was a risk to him if he pissed me off or said something I didn’t like. I soon realized he might even piss me off faster than I’d expected, I turned around to find Alex still stood there despite the order to sit down.

“I told you to sit down Alex.”

“I can’t…”

“Sit the fuck down right now.”

I watched as he scowled and the frown lines appeared on his gorgeous face, yet he remained stood and finally just looked down at the floor. How the hell was I meant to deal with him if he was already mocking me, his refusal to sit just rubbed me the wrong way and seriously pissed me off. I knew it was wrong to touch him and just figured no one was here to see, I grabbed him with both hands and forced him down onto the chair. Then to my surprise, within seconds he jumped back up and started moaning.

“You don’t want to piss me off Alex.”

“I can’t sit down Mulder as it hurts too much.”

“Shit I never thought you might have something stashed internally…”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I figure you have a knife or something hidden, is that the reason why you refuse to sit Alex?”

“Hell no, look it’s not what you think Mulder.”

“I’m sorry to do this Alex, however I’m going to have to carry out an internal search for my own piece of mind.”

“Do you really think I’d stab you or something Mulder?”

“No I don’t, however I’m not the only person at risk Alex.”

“Please don’t do this… Shit I know my rights Mulder and you can’t do this without a warrant.”

“Shut the hell up Alex, it’s not like I’ll be doing something to you that I haven’t already done.”

“You fuckin bastard…”

“You can face the wall or lean over the table Alex, then you can remove the joggers.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay you can do as I say, that or I’ll get a warrant and get the worst officers possible to carry it out.”

Personally, I didn’t think Alex was the type to carry a knife there, however there was definitely something wrong considering he was unable to sit down without moaning. I stood and watched as Alex went over to the table and removed his clothing, I then grabbed a glove and went to stand behind him.

“Oh shit…”

“I didn’t want you to see it Mulder.”

“What the fuck did you let someone do to you Alex, you should never have let them go that far…”

“It’s all my fault, I was out of it on pills and vodka at the time.”

I looked down at the man in front of me and tried to keep myself from crying, his ass bore deep wounds that would take some time to fully heal up. I then decided to slide his tee shirt up his back while I were here, it was then that I learn his back too was also covered in whip marks.

Then something just snapped inside me and I was pissed off, how I was out busting my gut to find something that would clear the man of this crime. Meanwhile Alex was there getting drunk and playing games that he criticised me for playing.

“Did you get off on it Alex?”

“No, shit it’s not what you think Mulder.”

“Really, yet you despised the fact that I craved the very same thing.”

“It was a punishment Mulder and nothing more.”

“Yeah well forgive me for not believing you Alex, I mean you do have one hell of a track history for lying to me.”

“Mulder please…”

I never even gave Alex time to finish his sentence before I moved, without warning I shoved my dry latex covered finger deep inside his tight body. I knew it had hurt by the way he screamed out; I also knew that the latex without lube would have rubbed against the tender skin.

“Is this what you want Alex, you’re just a slut and nothing more.”

“Mulder it hurts, god please just stop…”

“Why, I thought we could have some fun Alex. Wouldn’t you like me to fuck you and make you come?”

“No, not like this Mulder.”

I ignored his moaning and all the words he was muttering; the man was speaking Russian now and I couldn’t understand him anyway so what did it matter. I was more interested in my own finger as it worked deep inside his tight ass, then I decided to pull it out and force a couple in this time. I fucked him hard with those two fingers, then he was struggling to stand up by the time I’d inserted four.

“You fucked with me Alex and made me believe everything you said, how you would never hurt anyone other than those who truly deserved it. Well now it’s time for me to fuck with you, show you that you can’t just walk all over me and use me.”

“You never believe me Mulder, so just do your fuckin worst and get it over with.”

Well if it was my worst he wanted, I decided to pull out all my fingers and cause the man even more deserved pain. This time I replaced all four fingers and even included my thumb, I had to use some force as I worked my whole hand inside him. Once inside I could feel the heat radiating off him through my own clothes, that just made me more turned on and I wanted him to feel everything that I did to him.

I purposely pressed my fist hard against his prostate, then he screamed and nearly fell to the floor as I fully opened my hand. It was my own weight and the table that stopped him sliding to the floor and that was good, because believe me this wasn’t going to end anytime soon either.

I twisted my hand around inside his body a couple of times before turning it back into a fist, I then fucked him with all my strength and had him where I wanted him. Just the thought of controlling him like this turned me on so much, Alex was afraid to move as he knew I could make it far worse. Then once again I found his prostate, over and over again I punched my fist deep inside him making sure I hit the tender gland.

I could hear Alex moaning and couldn’t tell if he was moaning in pain or pleasure, well I guess they do say there’s only a thin line between the two. Well I decided to reach under him and see if any of this had turned him on, saying that even male rape victims can get hard regardless of how they feel. Shit then I just realized what word I’d just used, shit this was nothing more than rape when it came down to it.

I thought about stopping and realized I was too far gone; I could justify it now as it was all way beyond my control and what was done was done. It turned out that Alex was rock hard, a few pulls on his erection and he was coming all over the table. I myself used my free hand to pull out my own neglected organ, then within minutes I came all over his back.

I pulled my hand out of his backside and had to get myself under control, it was only when I looked down that I realized Alex was crying. I’d just brutally molested the man I claimed to love, I’d just reduced him to this sobbing wreck of a man that lay before me. And right now I had to get out of here and away from him, yet I knew I’d have to deal with him first or my job could end up on the line.

“Alex can you hear me.”

“Yeah.”

“Look I think we need to talk, don’t you?”

“We’ve nothing to talk about Mulder.”

“I need you to try and stand up, that way I can get you dressed again.”

“What, let you just hide the evidence of what you just did to me!”

“Alex I’m sorry and I can’t take back what I’ve done to you, shit you always make me want you and I lost control.”

“Yeah well I’d say you did far more than that Mulder, just because you get off on pain doesn’t mean I do.”

“How the hell can you say that Alex, one look at your body and it tells a completely different story.”

“Are you just fuckin dense Mulder, it was a punishment and nothing more. Hell go ask Steve the reason why I do it, as it damn well isn’t the first time and won’t be the last either.”

“Okay just calm down.”

Alex finally moved and pulled his clothes back up, yet he still refused to sit on the rock hard chairs that were in the room.

“I’m going to have to leave you for a while, you know the drill Alex and how I can hold you for so many hours without charging you.”

“Why do you have to leave me, where the hell are you going Mulder?”

“I’m going to find you something clean to wear, also see if there’s any medical supplies lying around here somewhere.”

“I just want this over with.”

“Hey, be good and I might even find a cushion for you to sit on.”

Alex just stared at me and I could see the tears start to fall down his cheeks, shit I had to get out of here before I did something I’d regret again. I wanted to go to him and hold him in my arms, also part of me wanted to let him run away and go hide somewhere. I knew that was something I’d never forgive myself for doing either, especially if Alex really had killed innocent families and children.

I left Alex cuffed to the table and promised him that he’d be okay until I returned, I then went to my own office and found out some of my own spare gym clothes for him to wear. Right now I had to find a first aid kit or something for Alex, I couldn’t even ask anyone for help as they wouldn’t want to know or help me if it involved Alex Krycek. Both Skinner and Scully had felt guilty for how they’d treat him, okay it was an innocent mistake and they’d truly believed the clone was really him. Then all that changed when I suspected the man of murder, no one would forgive him for killing innocent people and children.

Eventually I found what I was looking for in one of the draws, first though I decided to go and grab some lunch before I returned to Alex. Who knows, maybe if I left him for a while he’d be willing to cooperate with me. Also, I planned to drive over to the club and see who was there, see if anyone could explain Alex’s behaviour to me.

I was just so fuckin tired right now and needed to get some sleep, maybe if I were lucky I’d manage to get some tonight. However, that was hours away and I had plenty to do, this one case had consumed most of my time and I’d spent hours on it, sifting through everything that I could find in the hope that I was wrong. At one point I was ready to hand it off to another agent, and then I’d thought about Alex and how he might suffer.

Many of the agents knew exactly who Alex was, they also hated what he’d done and wasn’t willing to give him any leeway at all. It was most likely an open and shut case, the evidence all pointed to Alex and he’d end up behind bars for the rest of his life. To be honest I couldn’t see him surviving inside, also how many of the men would see just a pretty face and use him to get what they wanted.

I pulled up outside the club and had to concentrate more, that or no one would let me inside when they realized who I were. The doorman asked for ID and I flashed him my badge, he did relax somewhat when I told him it was just a social call. Once in the bar I saw Steve, shit he also saw me and dropped everything as he strode over towards me.

“You’re not welcome here Agent Mulder…”

“Look I’m not here to cause any trouble Steve.”

“So why are you here and where’s Alex.”

“Alex is safe at the Hoover; I came here because I need to talk to someone.”

“No offence but Alex is my friend, and you’ve practically destroyed the man with what you’ve done to him.”

“I can’t change what I am, and at the end of the day I’m a federal agent.”

“Tell me Agent Mulder, do you really think Alex could do something like that?”

“No, however there’s evidence and I don’t know if Alex can get out of this without a prison sentence.”

“It will kill him…”

“Look I’m trying my hardest to find something that will help his case, I just need to know what happened to Alex while he was here and if he’s doing drugs now?”

“You mean because of the state he was in when you came?”

“Yeah, hell he’d also practically smashed everything in the room too.”

“Alex loves you Mulder, he came to you hoping the proof of Spenders death would please you. The man left here that day happy, yet he came back a broken man Mulder.”

“So how does that explain the marks on him?”

“Alex sees it as his punishment for letting you down, he has this urge where he wants someone to make him suffer.”

“Shit I thought you had limits here?”

“You always hurt him Mulder, he came back from your place and took some meds for the pain before going and seeking punishment. Alex took a bottle of water into the room with him, later we realized that it was vodka and that he was drunk.”

“So, he just took whatever he was given?”

“Alex was on a hight from the meds and drink, he was so out of it and kept demanding more. Luckily my employee decided it was getting out of hand, he called me and I came here to help Alex.”

“Shit and now he faces going to prison on top of everything else…”

“You do know that it will kill him Mulder.”

“What?”

“I know Alex and I’ve seen him like this before, he’s depressed Mulder and suicidal.”

“What, you really think he’d end his own life?”

“Alex thinks that he has no life that’s worth living, well what does he have really?”

“Great I’ll have to get back to work, I left him cuffed to a table in an interview room so he should be safe.”

“Be careful Mulder and watch him, if Alex sees an opportunity to end his own life he will.”

“Okay thanks for the warning.”

“Can you do me a favour Mulder?”

“What’s that?”

“Tell him he has friends here, also do everything you can to try and free him.”

“Yeah I will do.”

“You really do love him don’t you Mulder?”

“With all my heart.”

I walked out of there and realized it was the truth, my own life would be nothing if Alex went to prison. Thinking about him made me realize I should get moving, I’d left him long enough and wanted to make sure he was holding up okay and would survive what was to come. I headed back towards the hoover and only made one stop on my return, I called in to a small gas station and grabbed some sandwiches and much needed coffee.

I walked back into the interview room and found Alex sat right on the edge of the chair, the man looked so lost and worn down and there was very little I could do to help him.

“Where the hell have you been Mulder?”

“Hey I’m happy to see you too Alex, look I’m back now and I even picked up some supplies too.”

“Great, does that mean I can change clothes now?”

“First, I need you to listen to me Alex, I’m going to help you get sorted out and then we can sit down and talk. I need to know if you’ll behave if I remove the cuffs, there’s nowhere to go if you do fight me or attack me.”

“Yeah right, like I’ve ever hit you Mulder…”

“This is different Alex; I know that you’re under a lot of pressure at the moment and I’ll do all I can to help you.”

“Look I swear that I’ll behave myself.”

“Good, I can’t believe all the time we’ve wasted and this is what it’s come down to.”

“It’s not your fault Mulder, I should have expected the worst when I killed Spender.”

“Right, how do you want to do this Alex?”

“Do what?”

“I manged to get some stuff to clean up your wounds, this is good stuff and will numb your backside so you can sit down.”

“Okay so what’s the problem?”

“You can either let me apply it, that or I can get someone else to come in here and do it. I mainly chose this room because it’s secure, there’s no two way mirrors or cameras in here. Look it’s up to you Alex, I just want you to be comfortable and start healing.”

“I’d prefer it if you did it Mulder.”

“Yeah okay, just lean over the table. Oh fuck, I can’t believe I asked you to do that again after what I did to you.”

“I’m a big boy Mulder.”

All I could do was watch as Alex did as I asked, I then opened the first aid kit and mentally prepared myself for the task at hand. First, I had to clean up the wounds to stop infection, Alex held his breath and flinched as the liquid was wiped over his back and ass.

“Shit that stuff fuckin stings.”

“Yeah I’m sorry, hey I’ll put the ointment on in a minute and then you should feel a lot better.”

“Good, sooner the better.”

“You should never have let it go that far Alex, shit I just want to hold you and make everything alright.”

“None of this is your fault Mulder, and soon enough it will all be over one way or another.”

I started applying the ointment to his damaged skin and rubbed it in, I also tried to keep all the movements as gentle as possible so it didn’t hurt even more. Shit and that was my downfall the tears fell; I couldn’t stand seeing the man I love in so mush pain. One by one the tears fell upon his exposed back, then suddenly Alex pulled up his clothes and turned to face me. I knew I must look a right mess now as the tears turned to sobs, then within one movement Alex had me tight in his arms.

“Just let it all out Fox, come on we’re both alive and will try to get through this together. I love you Fox and I’m scared I’ll lose you; I would rather die than suffer a lifetime alone without you.”

“There has to be some evidence somewhere Alex…”

“Yeah but no one will talk Mulder, especially if it’s to help me.”

I wanted to stay in his arms all day and just be held by him, yet I knew the time had come to let go and finish sorting him out. I had a feeling that Alex hadn’t really ate or drank anything proper for hours.

“I’ve brought you some clothes, all I had was my spare gym stuff that I keep here…”

“That’s better than nothing Mulder.”

“You called me Fox before…”

“Yeah I know that I slip up now and then, maybe one day you’ll let me call you it all the time”

“Yeah when all this is in the past, right can you sit down now Alex? Oh hold on a minute, I pulled out a cushion that I had and placed it on the hard chair.

“Where did you get that Mulder?”

“Waiting room near the entrance, I figured you needed it more and they won’t miss it anyway.”

“Well I’m touched, thanks’ Mulder.”

“Your welcome, now you can sit and eat the food I brought you, I even brought some coffee and chocolate too.”

“You spoil me Mulder.”

“Alex, I want you to trust me…”

“I do trust you Mulder, what makes you question that now?”

“Maybe because we’ve had a rough time lately, also I haven’t given you a reason to trust me lately. Shit I became so focussed on this case and couldn’t see beyond it, I even let you down when you most needed me.”

“Mulder, I know you have to do things because of your job, I still love you and trust you with my life.”

“Good because I love you, I also believe that you’re innocent Alex.”

“That means a lot to me Mulder.”

“I’ll do everything within my power to find you innocent Alex, I’ll also find one of the best lawyers for you too. Right now, I need you to refuse to cooperate with me, that way we can drag out this interview.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You will have to stay here until I’ve finished with you, look I want it so that you can remain here for a few days. I thought it would be easier for you, that or they’ll transfer you and hold you in a cell with other people.”

“Shit I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Well very soon I’ll have to turn on the tape and record the interview, you can either remain silent or say no comment to everything I ask.”

“Yeah I can do that.”

“Oh, just one other thing too Alex.”

“What?”

“Don’t take anything I say to you in the interview personal.”

“Okay I won’t.”

“Right finish the food while I sort the tape out.”

Soon I had everything ready, I then cleaned up all the rubbish and re cuffed Alex to the table. I was just thankful that he understood why I did it, I wanted to raise no suspicion should we be interrupted by someone.

“First I have to read you the charges Alex, I just wanted to warn you before starting the tape.”

“Yeah I’m okay, can we just get this over with and fast.”

“Yeah okay. Well here goes… You are to be questioned with regards to the following offences, the murder of Jonathan parker age thirty, also his wife Angela parker age twenty eight. How do you plead Alex?”

“No comment.”

“Okay you’re also charged with the murder of Emily and Louise Parker, twins both seven years old. All four bodies were found beaten and badly bruised, all three females were also raped…”

“What the fuck…”

“Alex please calm down, right now I just need you to tell me if you did it?”

“Like fuck I did…”

“Alex pay attention, I need you to listen to me so I can carry on.”

“I can’t do this Mulder, fuck I never realized that…”

“Right I’m going to have to end this interview for today, you will be kept here until tomorrow Alex and then we’ll try again.”

I switched off the cassette player and went to hold Alex, shit the man was now trembling and sobbing as he stood in my arms.

“Alex I have to leave you now, I’m going to have another agent take you to a holding room for the night. You’ll be safe there and no one can hurt you, I just need you to get some sleep and I’ll return first thing tomorrow.”

“I don’t want you to go…”

“Alex I have to leave; it would draw far too many questions if I spent the night here with you. Plus, I need to go and do some more digging around, time’s short and I really need to find something to prove your innocent.”

“Go then, I know I’m just showing how pathetic I am.”

“I love you Alex, also you are far from pathetic lover. Just hang in there and I’ll do all I can, I don’t want you to get depressed or suicidal on me Alex.”

“Sometimes I can’t control my feelings Mulder and I feel…Look I’ll be okay so just get going.”

I kissed Alex once more and then went to find another agent and told the man that I wanted Alex watching. At least I could now leave here and know he was safe, well for now anyway. The drive home was uneventful and I made it there in good time, I was even too tired now to bother showering or even turning on the television. Within minutes I’d collapsed onto my couch and was sound asleep, I never even woke until I heard my cell phone ringing.

“Agent Mulder speaking.”

“It’s A.D Skinner, look I thought you might want to know that we had a situation here in the early hours of the morning.”

“What sort of situation Sir?”

“Alex was attacked in his cell…”

“What the hell…is he alright Sir?”

“He took a few punches, however he fought back and only suffered some cuts and bruises. I didn’t want you coming here and flipping out when you saw him, look in all honesty I think he should be transferred somewhere else.”

“Why? Also, how the hell did someone manage to get to him?”

“It was one of our own agents, they realized who he was and thought he deserved it.”

“Shit, Sir he can’t be moved. You know yourself that someone will get to him, that or another prisoner will attack him.”

“Okay I’ll give you five days Mulder, after that time he’s gone.”

“Yeah okay and thanks Sir.”

“Agent Mulder…”

“Yes Sir.”

“Do you believe he did it, I just mean… I read the files and it’s so brutal, hell even for the likes of Alex Krycek?”

“No I don’t believe he did it Sir, I do believe that he’s suicidal at the moment though.”

“Okay I’ll only assign agents I know well to watch him; we did this Mulder because we only saw what we wanted to see. We believed the clone was him and we made his life hell, to be honest I’m not surprised he’s ready to give in.”

“Yeah he’s suffered so much over the past few months.”

“He told me that he loves you Mulder, also I believe him. Anyway, get moving and get your backside in here, maybe you can put a smile on his face.”

“I’ll try Sir.”

First, I’d need to get a quick shower and change my clothes, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d fallen asleep fully dressed in my suit. I did everything as fast as I could and just wanted to get back to work, more so because I wanted to see Alex and what the agent had done to him. I was the one after all that’d promised he’d be safe; he had his own room and should have been.

I reached my car and could see that the day wasn’t going as I’d hoped it would, first Alex and now this. It would appear that someone had put my passenger window through, it also appeared that they’d used a brick to do it too. They must have disabled the car alarm as it hadn’t gone off, then I took a closer look and noticed the piece of paper that was wrapped around the brick. I reached for the brick slowly as there was glass everywhere, I then removed the paper and unfolded it slowly to see six words. Stay of this case of else, that was all and there was no clue as to had sent it. There was one thing I did know though, someone had something to hide if they wanted me to drop it.

In the end I called a cab and would deal with my own car later, right now I wanted to go see Alex. Everywhere I turned I expected the worst, I had to wonder if the agent who attacked Alex was working for someone else outside the bureau. I guess anything was possible and Alex would need watching around the clock, I also was well aware that my own life could be at risk too if I carried on. Not that I’d give up on Alex that easily, I opened the door to the room he was in and stopped in my tracks, the man’s face was severely bruised and now swollen.

“Jesus I’m so sorry Alex.”

“Mulder I’m okay.”

“Like hell you are, you should be safe in a place like this and it should never have happened.”

“Hey at least I’m still alive, well for now anyway.”

“Don’t joke about things like that Alex.”

“Shit I’m sorry Mulder, how did your night go anyway?”

“Well I managed to get some sleep, however during the night someone smashed my car window.”

“Do you know who it was or anything?”

“No, they did leave a note telling me to drop this case though.”

“You might have to Mulder; it could be someone from the consortium.”

“I thought you were all squared up with them?”

“Most, however there are the odd ones who’d gladly see me dead.”

“Yeah well, I don’t scare that easy Alex. Look it means there’s some proof out there, so they want to make sure I don’t find it or stop you from going to prison.”

“Yeah well obviously somebody wants me to pay for something I’ve done.”

“Who knows that you killed Spender?”

“Just the Englishman, and then there was Luis Cardinal who overheard. Shit he was really pissed off because he worked for Spender, he never liked the Englishman or wanted to work for him.”

“So, this could be revenge Alex?”

“It’s possible, it just seems a bit elaborate for someone like Luis.”

“Maybe it was another member of the consortium.”

“Mulder anything’s possible with them.”

“Yeah true.”

“So, I take it the evidence against me is tight and solid?”

“Basically after they were abused and set on fire, the bodies were severely burnt and some there was hardly anything left of. They were all identified from dental records, also there were weapons found there that had trace amounts of your DNA. The court will try saying the fire destroyed the rest of the evidence, and there was no way of conducting a full autopsy.”

“Mulder did they die before the fire?”

“Yeah all had their throats cut, the garrotte was one of the weapons found at the scene.”

“Did they bury what little was left of the bodies?”

“Yeah why?”

“The consortium has so many officials in their pockets, from pathologists to undertakers.”

“So, you think this could all be fake, a set up so that you’d pay the price?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just say you were right and it was all fixed, a court would want to know where the eight people disappeared to. How could eight people, six of which were kids just disappear like that?”

“I don’t know Mulder, hell I don’t have all the answers.”

“Calm down Alex, I can always apply for an exhumation if we don’t find anything else.”

“Okay so what happens now?”

“I need to go to my office and start digging around, see if there were other family members. Later I might have to take a trip to the cemetery too.”

“What the hell for?”

“See if there’s any signs of flowers or anything, to get an idea of what I’m up against.”

“Yeah I guess it’s worth looking and might help.”

“Alex you must be in pain, shit I want to kiss you but I can’t.”

“Skinner brought me some meds so it’s not that bad, he stayed a few minutes but I think he still blames me for everything.”

“It’s not you he blames, actually he blames himself and thinks we all contributed to the pain and suffering.”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks about me except you Fox, I’m just scared that I go mad in this place, then it scares me thinking about where I could end up.”

“I know it’s hard, look I’ll go and do some work that way I don’t piss Skinner off, then later I can come back and stay with you for a bit.”

“I’d like that.”

I kissed Alex as gentle as I could and left him there alone, I reached my office and started pulling out all the files I had on the case. I was an idiot and had only seen what they wanted me to see, the evidence held official documents signed by official people. They were people that could have being bought by the consortium if need be, I also realized that everything I relied on came from one file or another too. Maybe it was time to do some leg work and cover some real ground in this case, shit that meant I’d have to get Skinner to sign off on it for me. First though I was willing to go through everything I had all over again, this time I also made notes with regards to anything that might help me later.

Finally I sat back and felt exhausted, I’d realized that the house itself was in Oregon along with the cemetery and I’d have to go there. That meant that I’d have to leave Alex here and pray that he was safe while I were gone, great then I remembered that Skinner had said Alex would be transferred in five days.

I banged my fist down on my desk out of temper, well it was as if everything was working against me and now the clock was ticking. I couldn’t face Skinner right now as he’d keep me in his office and lecture me, so I took the cowards way out and sent him an email. Meanwhile I started pacing my office as I waited for a reply, at this rate I’d be a complete mess and be unable to deal with everything that was to come.

Finally, I heard the bleep and knew that I’d received a message, I opened the email to see if Skinner was willing to help me deal with this and go to Oregon. Well it looked like he was willing to help and even said we owed it to Alex to do so, apparently there was a seat booked for me on a flight leaving later today. It was bad enough that I’d have to rely on cabs to get me everywhere, then I remembered my car and decided to phone a garage.

So far so good, my car would be collected and fixed before I returned from Oregon, now I had a cab booked to pick me up and take me home so I could pack for my trip. First, I had to go and face Alex and let him know I was leaving and soon, I didn’t even know what to say to him so he’d feel safe while I were away. Well I’d promised him once before that he’d be safe here without me, yeah his face painted a nasty picture and shows just how safe he really was.

I entered the small room and found him asleep on the small bed, well I guess it would be hard on him with very little to do, plus I figured the rest would do him good. I just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to him, in the end I knelt down beside the bed and watched him as he slept. The clock was ticking though and my cab would be due soon, I’d have to decide now whether to leave now or try to slowly wake him from his deep sleep.

I reached forward and started stroking his hair and cheek gently, as I had to pay attention to the cuts and bruises that covered one side of his face. Alex stirred and muttered something as he slept, for some reason the thought of waking him made me feel so guilty. Alex had suffered so much and there seemed to be no end to it either, I knew I’d never believe him capable of killing six children in such a brutal way either.

I soon realized that he was no longer talking to himself anymore, Alex lay there fast asleep and was crying. Shit I could see the tears as they fell upon the bed below him, I slowly wiped the tears away and then kissed him on the cheek, it was at that moment that I realized his eyes were opening. At first it was as if he were looking straight through me, as if he was in another time and another place.

“Alex are you okay, hey can you look at me babe?”

“Fox…”

“Yeah it’s me, Alex are you okay?”

“Yeah I think so, shit I hate waking up here and then realizing it’s all real and it’s still not over.”

“God, I wish that I could take you home with me Alex.”

“Hey, I wish I could come, how come you’re back here so soon anyway?”

“Shit I guess I might as well just come out and tell you…”

“Tell me what?”

“I have to go to Oregon Alex; I have a cab coming to pick me up in half an hour and take me to the airport.”

“Why are you going there?”

“I have to go see things for myself Alex, there has to be something that someone overlooked, or someone there who knows something.”

“Yeah right, no one will talk to you Mulder.”

“Yeah you might be right, however I have to do this to try and prove your innocence Alex.”

“Yeah, I know and I am grateful Fox, it’s just…”

“Just what Alex, come on you can tell me.”

“I guess I’m worried about what will happen to me while you’re gone.”

“You’ll be okay this time I promise, Skinner will make sure of that and even check on you himself. Maybe you should spend your time here trying to rest and get better, I just want to sort this and hopefully avoid you getting transferred.”

“Have they said how long that will be?”

“Skinner said he’d give me five days Alex, that’s why I have to use my time wisely.”

“Yeah okay, maybe you should get going then so you don’t miss your cab.”

I could tell that Alex was struggling to hold it together, obviously he also wanted me gone before he broke down or the tears returned once more. I held him and was struggling myself to walk out on him, mainly I was scared at the thought of him getting locked up and I’d never be able to hold him like this again.

“Yeah I guess I should get going Alex, I’ll ring Skinner each day and let him know how things are going, also that way I’ll also be able to check on you too.”

“Good, hopefully Skinner will fill me in on everything and not keep me in the dark.”

“I’ll make sure he tells you babe, just promise me that you won’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

“I promise, go now Fox or I won’t be able to let you go.”

Within five minutes I’d walked out of there and was in the cab and on my way home, once there I booked another cab to the airport to come in another hour. I made my way up to my apartment and let myself in without even suspecting anything, yet as soon as I entered the fist impacted with my stomach. I felt sick and could barely even stand, in the end I gave up and sank to my knees.

“I take it my previous message didn’t work Agent Mulder?”

“Who are you, shit and what the fuck are you talking about?”

“I left you a message early this morning, it was a note in your car telling you to stay away from this case.”

“So, it was you who put a brick through my car window?”

“Yeah and it would appear that you totally ignored me too, I’m well aware that you’ve being sticking your nose it what doesn’t concern you.”

“I’m a Federal Agent and I’m working on a case, so why don’t you fuck off and leave me alone before I have you arrested.”

“I’d like to see you try Agent Mulder… Look this will be the last time I play nice with you, I’m not the sort of person you want to piss off.”

“Yeah whatever…”

“Next time you cross me… well let’s just say you’ll wish you hadn’t.”

I ignored him and remained where I were, I only dare move once I’d heard his footsteps and the door slam shut behind him. My stomach hurt like hell from the punch and I had to force myself to get up, I then looked at the time and realized I had thirty minutes to pack and be ready to leave. Well I knew it wouldn’t take me long to pack, all I had to do was throw some clothes and other bits into a suitcase, once done I fed my fish and made sure I locked my apartment up.

My trip to the airport was uneventful and no one stopped me for any reason, I just had this deep down feeling that someone would even follow me to Oregon if that’s what they had to do. It appeared that I was to be stopped no matter what, and Alex was to be punished and go to prison for a crime he never committed.

During the flight I thought back to the past I shared with Alex, admittingly I’d being attracted to the man right from the start and then there was the clone. Things were totally different and I liked the person I was made to become; okay I liked the parts that involved the clone only. Then even that had all gone to hell and along came the real Alex Krycek, someone that I realized I loved and wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

If Alex went to prison things would never be the same again, I’d get to see him once in a blue moon in a fuckin prison. Somehow, I had a feeling Alex wouldn’t survive long in prison for long, there were people inside that was capable of far more than Alex, and then on top of that there was his looks to take into account too. How long would it be before someone raped or abused him, he was already depressed and that was at the Hoover and he was kept alone. In all honesty my life would also be over if anything happened to him, for some reason my hand went to my neck and touched the collar that I still wore there.

I soon realized that I was a fuckin idiot, I was attached to something that Alex would never dream of giving me, now I started to feel dirty, it was as if I was cheating on Alex and preferred the clone over him. Right now I lay back and tried to relax, I must have fallen asleep and soon the plane was landing in Oregon.

I only had carry on luggage and was soon off the plane, I decided to make a trip to the bathroom before I left the airport and carried on my journey. I looked in the mirror and then splashed some cold water on my face to freshen up, then I looked at the collar that my fingers had touched not so long ago and knew what I had to do. I unfastened it and removed it from my neck, I then walked over towards the bin and dropped it inside.

That part of my life was well and truly over, I was a psychologist and knew the exact reason why I still wore it, the clone had taken away my ability to think and do things for myself. I guess I’d liked the life he’d given me, I had a life without having to think about anything at all. I’d had no real worries as the clone took care of everything, I knew deep down I didn’t care much for responsibility and having to make choices.

I also realized that a relationship was a two way thing, sometimes you had to be the strong one and try to deal with everything to help the person you love. In other words I couldn’t always hide behind a master, Alex needed me now and I would be there for him on equal grounds. I knew that I would accept him for who he was, yet not so long ago I’d hated him because he wouldn’t be the one in charge and order me around.

Well I guess I always was fucked up in one way or another, now I was scared I’d lose the man just when I realized how much he meant, and how much I wanted him. God, I had to concentrate and sort myself a room out for the night, it wasn’t hard as Oregon already held so many memories for me.

I finally arrived and then left my case in the room; all I could do now was go grab something to eat and then get some sleep. I found a small diner that was practically empty, well it suited my immediate needs and the food was far better than I’d expected. I decided that I would ask around about the fire and see if anyone knew anything, yet over an hour later I returned to my room without finding out anything at all.

One person had suggested I go to the library and look through the old newspapers, if the fire killed that many I’d find something there. So that’s what I did, I spent the best part of the day scrolling through papers until both my eyes and head hurt. There was only one mention of a fire, six children and two adults were murdered and then the house was set on fire. Local authorities claim it was possibly a mob killing, all information would be dealt with at the highest level for safety reasons.

My next visit was to the local authorities to see what they themselves had to say, most wasn’t willing to say much and I was starting to get really pissed off with it all now. Then I found one officer that claimed something strange went on that night, he was one of the first officers at the scene and was ordered away by some old man and some men in black. Later he was ordered to keep his mouth shut and never mention that night, yet something wasn’t right and he’d gone to the morgue.

Basically, the officer wanted to see if what people said was true, yet he arrived there and found some files along with some fake looking teeth. He believed they were casts of children’s teeth; however, he was too scared to go to his superior and say anything.

The whole thing screamed consortium, that black lunged bastard was dead and still pulling the strings and destroying Alex’s life. Then I got a much needed break, it turned out the officer had taken some photos while he was in the morgue of what he saw. I was to meet with him tonight and he’d give me the photos, I was to meet him at the house where all of this was supposed to have happened so that might help me. Well at least that way I’d kill two birds with one stone, I would take a torch with me and have a look around and see if there was anything that would help Alex too while I were there.

I dressed in a pair of jeans and tee shirt, I just wanted to blend in tonight, I even grabbed my leather jacket as the night was starting to turn rather cold suddenly. As agreed, the officer was there waiting for me and even had the file ready in his hand. Nothing was even said as he shoved the file at me and got back in his car and drove away, I knew that he was taking a risk and appreciated what he was doing for me. I placed the file inside my jacket and pulled out my torch, it was too dark to see anything tonight, so I decided I’d just walk around the outside and see how much damage was caused to the house by the fire.

The windows were boarded up along with the door, even if I came back tomorrow, I’d have to force my way inside and it could be dilapidated and dangerous. I could tell from the brick around the windows which rooms suffered, the fire must have got out of control before anyone showed up to extinguish it. The brick around all the missing windows showed a black soot and where the fire had struck, the heat inside would have turned nearly everything to ash by the time it was fully out.

Well I’d leave it until tomorrow, for now it was late and time I headed back to my motel. I walked down the path and away from the house, then suddenly I was shoved to the floor and something was placed over my mouth and nose. I tried to fight the man off to no avail, then suddenly everything went black as I passed out.

Sometime later I came back around and wanted to throw up, also my head felt like it was going to explode from the pain alone. I knew that what I was feeling were the after effects of chloroform, that meant that someone had kidnapped me and brought me to god knows where. I knew that I’d have to force my eyes open and weigh up the situation that I was now in, also I guess I was a little scared as to where I was and what might happen to me now.

In the end I knew that I had to look, it was a stupid fear and would do me no good not to know what I were up against. Okay so it would appear that I was in some room that looked abandoned, knowing my luck it would be in the middle of nowhere and no one would find me. Also, I had a cable tie restraining my hands together and couldn’t do a lot. I still wore my clothes apart from my shoes and leather jacket, shit it was then that I realized the file would be gone too, along with any chances of helping Alex.

I was sat on an old dirty mattress, which I might add was the only thing in the entire room. There was one window over to my left, which was boarded up and I couldn’t tell if it was night or day outside. Then to my right was a wooden door, chances are it would be locked and there would be no escape, however I had to try.

At first it was a struggle to get to my feet and stand without my hands, also this headache was getting worse and all I wanted was to lay down. Not that I wanted to lay on the filthy mattress, even just looking at the filthy state of it turned my stomach. Just as I expected, I reached the door and found it locked and there was nothing here to try opening it with. My lockpick and everything else was in the pockets of my jacket.

I couldn’t deal with this and wanted to get out of here more than anything else, so I took my hands and started hammering on the door in the hopes someone would come. Maybe I was pushing my luck and they might come and kill me; however, I’d rather get it over with if that was going to be the outcome.

Finally, I heard a noise from the other side of the door and decided to step backwards, then suddenly the door was thrown open and I was shoved backwards onto the mattress. I couldn’t break the fall restrained like this and it winded me, then someone was on top of me before I even had a chance to draw breath. Suddenly I felt pain explode in my jaw as his fist hit me hard, straight away I knew it was the same man from my apartment.

“What do you want from me?”

“You never learn, do you?”

“I can’t give up; Alex needs me more than ever…”

“I warned you stay the hell away or you’d suffer, yet here you are sniffing around in things that don’t concern you.”

“Alex told me all about you, I know that you’re Luis Cardinal and worked for Spender.”

“Yeah the man that Alex killed.”

“Yeah with good reason too.”

“Alex never fitted in or could do as Spender ordered him, it was Alex that was at fault and not Spender.”

“You sad fuck…”

Shit Luis backhanded me across the face once more and then grabbed me by the throat, I knew it wasn’t wise to piss him off and I’d wind up dead and no use to Alex.

“Alex will pay one way or another, if I have my way, he’ll spend the rest of his life in prison. Oh, and I have many contacts who can deal with the likes of him on the inside too, let’s just say that he won’t be short of company while in there.”

“You bastard, prison would kill Alex and you know that.”

“Yeah that’s what I’m counting on, I’d just make sure he had some fun before things got that far. Many men would find him good looking and would want him, I’m sure they’d find plenty of use for him too. I could just see him on his hands and knees, knelt there talking some cons cock deep up his ass.”

“I fuckin hate you…”

“Poor Fox does all this destress you, well he could always kneel and have a cock forced down that pretty throat of his…”

“Fuck you, just let me fuckin go as I’m a federal agent and you can’t keep me here.”

“I can keep you here for as long as I want, believe me no one would find you as where in the middle of nowhere. Also, I don’t see what your problem is with regards to Alex, or are you jealous that someone else will be fucking him over?”

“It’s not like that.”

“No sorry I forgot all about you and what happened, you were the one that liked taking orders and having to bend over or kneel when told.”

“That only ever happened with Alex and it was just a game, I’d never let anyone else touch me or tell me what to do.”

“Hm I’m sure I could persuade you to do as I say Fox, a gun can be a powerful thing and help people get what they want.”

“Yeah I bet you couldn’t do it without…”

“Don’t worry Fox as I won’t touch you in that way, you and Alex make me sick and I despise what you do together.”

“So, what the hell do you want from me?”

“Hey I said I’m not that way inclined, I never said anything about the other men that are here with me…”

“Please don’t let them touch me…”

“Hey you’re safe for now, however piss me off and all that might change.”

I felt so relieved as Luis got off me and stood up, shit then suddenly he booted me in my side and I felt like I’d throw up. I couldn’t even remember when I’d last ate, hell I didn’t even know what time it is.

“You ignored me Fox, you came here with the intention of poking around in things that don’t concern you. Also, I did warn you that you’d suffer if you ignored my warnings, that’s why this time you will have to learn your place.”

“What are you going to do to me?”

“Not much, but you will get to spend time in your new accommodation. I figured we’d keep you here for a few days, that way you’re out of the way while I deal with the people here who may be able to help you.”

“Why not just end it all now, you might as well put me out of my misery as it all means nothing if Alex goes inside?”

“Where would the fun be in that Fox, maybe I might enjoy watching you suffer all alone. To see you finally get what you deserve too, to see how you’d cope going home every night and pinning after the man you can no longer have.”

“Who says I will pine every night, maybe I might decide to end it all myself?”

“Because you won’t, at least not while you know Alex is still alive and kicking. You might decide different when my men have finished with him, you see they’re the type that would soon get bored no matter how pretty he is.”

“Not that any of it matters right now, so you just plan to keep me in this one filthy room?”

“Yeah I’m afraid so, I’m sorry if it’s not up to your standards but it was the best I could do at short notice.”

“So, what happens if I need the bathroom or anything like that?”

“Stay there, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Luis walked out of the door and I was left there alone, I knew things were looking far worse by the minute for Alex and he would go down if Luis had his own way. Not that I had long to contemplate anything before the door opened, Luis then walked in and threw me a blanket. I watched as he placed a bucket over in the corner, once done he returned and threw something down on the mattress beside me.

“You will have to make do with the bucket as it’s all we have, also in the bag you’ll find a sandwich and a bottle of water.”

“Gee thanks…”

“Like I said, I’ve no intention of killing you and that means someone will come now and again to bring food. Oh, and you will need the blanket as it gets rather cold here on a night.”

“Where’s my jacket and other things I brought here with me?”

“You can have everything when I let you go, well apart from the file you were never meant to have in the first place.”

“Yeah I figured I wouldn’t see that again.”

“Just try and sleep then the time will pass faster, someone will be back in the morning with more food and until then you’ll be on your own.”

“What, you can’t leave me in the middle of nowhere on my own…”

“I meant in this room on your own, I will be leaving someone here to guard you and make sure you behave.”

Luis left and I just sat where I were knowing I’d failed, once I left here there would be nothing left to find that would help. Maybe I might still take a walk around the graveyard and check it out before I left Oregon, there had to be something that I’d overlooked. Not that things would be easy anymore; Luis had proved that he was following me no matter where I went.

In the end I had to make do with the tatty looking blanket, the temperature had started to drop and I now presumed that it was now night. At first I hadn’t trusted Luis when he said he’d be back in the morning, and now I realized I was totally lost in far more ways than one. Soon my mind started working overtime and thinking about escaping and getting the hell out of here, I figured my clothes would be somewhere nearby and I could be free of this place.

I realized I didn’t even know where the hell I were, and what if I truly was in the middle of nowhere? The man that was here might not even have any transport, for all I knew he could have come in the same vehicle as Luis. Even so, I was now starting to like the idea of leaving and taking my chances out there alone. I’d never be totally free of Luis though, especially as the man knew where I lived.

Part of me wondered if there was really someone here at all, well considering I’d heard nothing and only seen Luis in the time I’ve spent here. Fuck this, I got up of the mattress and started banging on the door to see if anyone came, then I stood behind the door and waited.

Finally, my patience payed off and the door opened, within seconds I was on the mans back with my arms around his throat. Basically, I was trying to strangle him with the cable ties that bound my arms and it seemed to be working. The man’s hands had come up towards his throat as he tried to prize my hands away, then suddenly he slammed me backwards against the brick wall.

I wasn’t prepared and momentarily lost my grip, then within seconds he fell to his knees and pulled out from between my arms. Shit now I’d lost all the advantages I’d had and would have to face whatever he did to me. I could tell by his face that he was pissed bigtime, well who wouldn’t be if someone had just tried to strangle them.

“You’re gonna pay for that, soon you’ll regret ever crossing me.”

“Shit it was just a natural reaction, I was cold and just wanted another blanket…”

“Too late for that.”

I was still on the floor from where I’d fallen, the bastard then started kicking me in the side as I tried to get away from him. The only place I could go to was the filthy mattress, not that it would do me any good or protect me from the man as he was severely pissed off now. Soon he was over me and my hands were pinned between our bodies, he then grabbed me by the throat and started to squeeze tight.

I was becoming lightheaded and knew I’d soon lose consciousness at this rate, yet I knew I was fucked without my arms or a way of getting him off me. Then suddenly I saw little dots in my line of vision and everything was becoming blurred, then his hands were gone and he moved off me. My head was swimming and I was really struggling to focus on anything, I took a few deep breaths and tried to get my breathing back under control so I could deal with this before it became any worse.

I was soon to realize that it was far too late for that, my head started to clear and I forced my eyes to open and see where the man was. Shit and that was when I realized exactly what he was doing and I started to panic, he’d unfasten my jeans and was in the middle of removing them along with my underwear. I tried to scrabble away from him, yet within seconds he had me pinned back down on the dirty mattress that I’d come to hate.

“God please don’t do this…”

“What is it that you think I’m going to do Agent Mulder?”

“Please, I swear that I’m sorry…”

“I’m not that sad Agent Mulder, you’ve slept with Alex Krycek and we all know where he’s been.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, we all know how he bent over when it came to Spender, also the old man got a kick out of sharing his photos with everyone else. Chances are he has every disease known to man, especially when you consider all the rent boys that Spender took home with him.”

I realized that they all still believed that the clone was Alex and that Spender had fucked him, well let them think what the hell they wanted if it worked in my favour. At least this way no one would want to touch me in a sexual way, however that still left me wondering why he’d removed some of my clothes.

“So why the hell are you undressing me then?”

“You attack me and then moan about how cold you are, I just figured I’d give you a real reason to moan. Look I’m not removing the cable ties so you can keep the tee shirt on, you can class it an act of generosity.”

“Letting me go would be a far better act of generosity!”

“Don’t push your luck Agent Mulder, or I might decide to remove it with my knife.”

All I could do was lay here and freeze my ass off until morning, yet the man was still making no attempt to go and leave me here alone. I hated it when someone just stood there watching me without saying a word, then suddenly I became worried as he started grinning at me.

“Actually, I’ve just had an idea, who knows it might even get that blood flowing and warm you up somewhat.”

“What idea?”

“Get on your knees Agent Mulder.”

“What?”

“You heard me, move it now. That or you could always open that mouth of yours?”

“Like hell I will.”

All I could do was watch as he started removing the leather belt he wore, then panic set in and I started crawling away from him with nowhere to go. Suddenly I was grabbed and slammed face down on the mattress once more, I tried not to breathe and turned my mouth away from the filth below me. Then all I could do was scream as the belt landed hard across my backside, then the pain was worse as the next strike was across my thighs.

“Well at least this will warm you up and you can’t say I never gave you an alternative, all you had to do was open that mouth of yours.”

“Fuck you.”

“In your dreams, well you asked for this Agent Mulder.”

The bastard struck me half a dozen more times, and all had landed across my ass and I was screaming for him to stop. Shit I knew that the skin was broken and I wouldn’t be sitting down anytime soon, then he stood up and I thought this nightmare was finally over.

“So, are you willing to open that mouth of yours Agent Mulder?”

“Go to hell…”

“Personally I don’t see what your problem is, everyone knows about you and the things Alex Krycek made you do. Is that what the problem is, is it because you no longer wear his collar and you have no master anymore?”

“You know nothing about me or Alex…”

“How about I give you a collar and we take it from there?”

Suddenly he was wrapping his belt around my neck, he then used it as a way to force me up into a kneeling position and to keep me there. Now he stood in front of me and started unfastening his jeans, shit I couldn’t help but turn my head and look away from him as he did it. God then suddenly I could barely breathe as he pulled the belt tight, even my hands came up and tried clawing at the leather to no avail.

“Don’t fight it Agent Mulder, this is going to happen if you ever want to get out of here alive. Piss me off, that or use those teeth and I’ll put a bullet in that pretty head of yours.”

“You can’t kill me; I know that you answer to Luis and he’ll be pissed off.”

“I’ll say you attacked me and I had no choice, don’t try me Agent Mulder or you will suffer. Are you listening to me, and do I make myself clear?”

“Yeah I can hear you.”

“Good, now you can open your mouth and we can cut out all this crap.”

The man kept the belt hung around my neck, he then used one hand to shove his erection into my mouth while his other hand held a gun to my head. Shit I knew I had no choice now and just wanted this over with, I let him enter my mouth and then tried so hard to work up a rhythm. The gun wasn’t helping, also he’d now left his cock in my mouth and used his other hand to grab hold of the belt once more.

I did as he asked despite my hatred of this man, yet every time he came close the belt was pulled tight and he forced himself to slow down. I knew that he was trying to prolong this as long as possible and I was starting to feel sick, I even tried breathing through my nose. Then reality sank in and just how this was affecting me, maybe it was the belt that was doing it to my own body. I could imagine that it was a collar and that Alex was the one holding it there, my body was reacting even more and I knew I was hard now.

Then suddenly the man came screaming and I was forced to swallow every single drop, which I had to admit was hard considering he’d pulled the belt even tighter. That was when I realized the other reason why I was also struggling to breathe, the use of the belt had also ripped an orgasm from my own body and now I felt so dirty.

“Shit so you’re nothing but a dirty whore, god am I so glad that I never fucked you after all.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“Just shut up and stay where you are.”

I knelt there while he re fastened his jeans and sorted himself out, he then came towards me and to my surprise cut the cable tie. I remained where I was and was too afraid to move, part of me wondered if this was a test and he was going to shoot me after all.

“Stand up and get dressed Agent Mulder, one wrong move though and I’ll put a bullet in you.”

I stood and struggled to get back into my underwear and jeans, the material rubbed against the large welts that were forming on my backside. I did it as fast as I could just in the hope that he’d leave me alone so I could think, then a huge part of me realized thinking might not be such a good idea after all. Soon I was dressed and felt a bit calmer, then he came up to me and used a cable tie on my hands before shoving me down to the floor.

“Get some sleep Agent Mulder, maybe tomorrow might be your lucky day and Luis might let you go home.”

The man turned and left me alone as I’d wanted, and all I could do was crawl back onto the mattress and lay there. It wasn’t long though before I started to feel the cold and grabbed the blanket, I then wrapped myself in it and laid there thinking about what had happened and what I’d done. Finally, I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, I cried myself to sleep thinking about a life without Alex in it.

I had no idea what time it was when the door next opened, however I was thankful that it was Luis and not that man from last night that entered the room. Even so, straight away he looked at my face and knew that something had happened while he was away.

“You look like you had a rough night Fox?”

“Is there any chance at all of you calling me Mulder…”

“No sorry, so what happened to you last night then?”

“Nothing of interest.”

“Don’t treat me like a fuckin idiot, you were left here alone and didn’t do that to yourself. Look just sit up so I can have a better look at your face, you also seem to be moving rather slowly too Fox.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“I take it this is Pete’s handy work?”

“What the hell can I say to that?”

“How about the truth Fox.”

“Shit he was the only one here…”

“Exactly, so you might as well tell me what went on here.”

“What, do you want all the juicy information about how he abused me and forced me to give him a blow job?”

“No, I wanted to know what he’d done, then that way I can deal with the problem more efficiently. I will take care of a couple of things and then someone will take you to your motel, this time make sure you stay out of trouble Fox.”

“Well I’m guessing you’ve already destroyed all the evidence now?”

“Well let’s just say that there’s no reason for you to stay in Oregon any longer.”

“I can’t believe that you’re doing this…”

“It’s nothing personal Fox, you just seem to hang around with the wrong people and end up in trouble.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“Look you’ll be leaving within the hour, then I want you out of Oregon within twenty four hours or things get nasty.”

“Yeah I get the point.”

Luis left me there alone, however I could handle this if it meant I’d be free within the hour. Shit then I thought about Alex and how much I wanted to see him, then I remembered that I had nothing that would help his case and set him free.

Great then there were the bruises that would be visible, I guess I could always pray that I didn’t bruise too much, that or I’d have to wear a jacket and hope he never noticed them. Alex would feel guilty if he knew I was hurt, especially if it happened while trying to get information for him. Either way I knew I’d be glad to be back in Washington and home; I’d arrange a flight home as soon as I was back in my motel again. I was still thinking when suddenly the door flew open, Luis walked in with the other man in front of him and then ordered him to kneel.

“What the hell’s going on boss?”

“You tell me Pete, well I’m waiting.”

“I take it he’s said something?”

“Fox Mulder never had to say a word, one look at the man and I know exactly what went on last night.”

“He started trouble and things got out of hand.”

“Yeah I can see that, you had one fuckin job to do and couldn’t even manage that!”

Everything happened so fast and it took me a minute to realize what I’d just witnessed; Pete lay on the floor with a bullet in his head and there was blood all over the wall. I couldn’t believe that Luis had shot him because of what went on last night, however I started to panic myself as he came over towards me, especially when he pulled out a syringe.

“Get the fuck away from me…”

“It’s just to make you sleep Fox, I take it you do want to leave here?”

“You don’t have to inject me with something, just open the fuckin door and let me go!”

“Sorry it’s this way or not at all.”

Luis was on me in seconds and I felt the needle pierce my skin, then only darkness followed.

I opened my eyes and lay still as I tried to figure out where I was, my brain took its time and then I finally realized that I was on the bed in my own motel room. I looked around and soon realized that I was also alone, and there beside me was my jacket and a folded piece of paper. Great it was a note telling me that I had to be gone within twenty four hours or Luis would return, he also warned me that I’d need a hospital if I crossed him again.

I forced myself to move and get up off the bed, I then went and had an extremely long shower to rid myself of what had happened. Hell, just the thought of that room and mattress made me want to throw up, I knew that it would be a long time before I’d feel clean again. Well I’d have to be more careful and use my time wisely without getting caught, first though I wanted to call Skinner and get an update on Alex.

“A.D Skinner speaking.”

“Sir it’s me Mulder.”

“I expected you to call in before now Agent Mulder.”

“Sorry Sir, I was sort of tied up.”

“I hope you haven’t got yourself into any trouble Agent Mulder?”

“Who me Sir?”

“Yes you Mulder, so how are things going in Oregon, have you learnt anything that could help Alex?”

“Not as yet, I thought I had but someone got hold of the evidence and destroyed it.”

“Do you know who it was Agent Mulder?”

“Yeah, he’s a consortium lackey, I do have a couple more things to check out and then I’ll be coming back.”

“Good, I think Alex could do to see a friendly face.”

“How’s he holding up Sir?”

“Not good I’m afraid, he’s becoming far mor depressed as the hours pass.”

“Shit I was worried that might happen, I’m not sure that I can help him out of this mess Sir…”

“You can only do your best Agent Mulder, so what are your plans for tonight then?”

“It’s still light so I thought I’d go for a walk, maybe have a walk around the local graveyard and see if anything there stands out.”

“Yeah okay, call me back later Agent Mulder on my cell phone and you can talk to Alex.”

“Thanks Sir I’d like that.”

“Okay, just take care and watch your back Agent Mulder.”

“I will do Sir.”

I hung up on Skinner and then grabbed some clean clothes then dressed, I’d placed my dirty clothes in the bin and never wanted them near me again. The night was cool and a perfect time to take a walk, also there were still plenty of people out walking and it made me feel somewhat safe.

It didn’t take me long to realize there were a pattern to the graves, all the newer ones were close to the entrance. There was also a separate place that contained graves of the young that died way too soon. Normally I found peace when walking around a cemetery, yet this was the one part of it that upset me the most. I guess it made me think about Samantha and how old she was, she was practically the same age as the children Alex was supposed to have murdered.

Great now I was only depressing myself even more, I couldn’t believe Alex capable of such horrendous acts on the young and innocent. I still forced myself to walk around every grave reading the names as I went, then I realized that there was none within the past year. This was the only cemetery in this area and they had to be buried here, maybe I would have to take a trip to the undertakers in the morning.

I’d thought the graves could be exhumed and that would prove things one way or another, yet now I was starting to have my doubts about that too. I knew that I had nothing to prove Alex was innocent, maybe I should look at all the evidence they had and see if they had enough for a conviction of murder. Even on manslaughter charges Alex would do a long stretch inside, in all honesty I didn’t even think he’d survive a month locked in a cell with other murderers.

Deep down I knew this was pointless and it was time to go back to my motel, night air was coming in fast and it was starting to get dark too. I decided to walk at a relatively fast pace as the streets were deserted now, also I wanted to talk to Alex and see if what Skinner said was true.

I knew Alex and how he’d react, under pressure he’d try running from all his problems. Now he was locked up and couldn’t run no matter how much he wanted to, that meant he’d try finding another way to get out of the shit he was in. I’d have to tell Skinner to watch him and what he did, also to make sure he had no access to anything dangerous.

Alex was a resourceful man and would already be thinking of a way out, I knew that his medication would be controlled and he’d be watched while eating and showering. Now I was racking my brains thinking about him, also thinking about what he did in a day and who he had contact with.

Finally, I was glad to be back inside my room, once inside I wedged a chair under the door knob for added security. Not that it would stop the likes of Luis if he wanted to get me, not that he should have a reason as I only took a long walk. Tomorrow I would pack before going to see the undertaker, afterwards I’d head straight to the airport and return home. Right now I wanted to call Skinner back, I longed to hear Alex’s voice and know that he was at least safe for now.

Three times I tried ringing without any luck, each time the phone had rang over and over until it went onto the answering machine. In the end I gave up and threw my phone down on the bed, then I lay down on the bed myself and waited to see if Skinner would return my calls. I knew that I was paranoid, hell everyone knew that too. I just had a feeling that something was wrong and that was why Skinner wasn’t picking up, shit then I jumped as my own phone started ringing.

“Yeah.”

“Mulder it’s Skinner.”

“I rang you three times Sir, is there something wrong back there that I should know about?”

“I was trying to get Alex to answer the phone and talk to you, yet he says he doesn’t want to.”

“Where are you now Sir?”

“Still outside his room, why?”

“Can you go back in there, also this time can you put the phone on loudspeaker.”

“Yeah hold on then, I’m in the room Mulder and Alex can hear you now.”

“Alex it’s me Fox, please talk to me babe.”

“I’ve nothing to say to you Mulder.”

“Why are you doing this Alex?”

“Just drop it Mulder.”

“I’ll be back at the Hoover tomorrow and I want to come and see you.”

“Well I don’t want to see you ever again Mulder.”

“Alex…”

“Get the hell out of my life and leave me the fuck alone, you deserve far better than me.”

“Well tough because it’s you I want.”

Suddenly Alex started screaming and it sounded as if something was getting punched, I could hear Skinner but it was too muffled to understand what he said. Now I could hear more voices and then the line went dead, the first thing I did was ring the local airport and try to get a flight tonight. In the end I had no choice but to stay here and pray Skinner would call, the planes were booked up until tomorrow afternoon.

Over an hour later I got a message on my phone, Skinner said he was unable to call right now as he was dealing with something. He did tell me that Alex had lost it and stared punching the wall, apparently his hand is now severely bruised and he had to be sedated for his own good.

Then there was me, stuck here unable to be with or even help the man that I love. Sleep didn’t come easy that night, by morning I was totally exhausted and had to force myself to move and shower. By ten I had my bag packed and had checked out of the motel, now I would take a trip to the undertaker to see what he had to say about the bodies.

I arrived and parked outside; you wouldn’t believe from the outside that it was an undertaker’s office. The house was red brick and blended in with all the other houses around here, I got out of my car and made sure I had my ID with me before walking towards the door. The door was opened by a man similar height to me; however, I’d say he was in his sixties judging by his looks and the full head of grey hair.

“Good morning, what can I do for you Sir?”

“I’m Special Agent Fox Mulder and I’m working a case with regards to the house fire a few months ago.”

“Would you like to come inside; it’s just my memory is rather lacking lately and I’ll have to check my files, oh I’m John by the way.”

“That would be great, you can just call me Mulder.”

I was led down a corridor and we went through a large archway, straight away I noticed the desk and realized this was his office. Everything was so neat and tidy compared to the basement where I worked, maybe that was why he could go to the filing cabinet and locate what he wanted straight away. Maybe I should be this organized, yeah like that would ever happen in my lifetime.

“Please take a seat Agent Mulder.”

“Thanks.”

“So, what is it that you want to know?”

“I went to the cemetery to check out the graves and found nothing, I was hoping that you would know where the bodies were buried?”

“They were never buried Agent Mulder, not here or anywhere else.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The bodies were severely burnt and mostly just ash, as the fire was intense and destroyed most of the house and its contents.”

“So were there photos of the remains, someone at the crematorium must have looked at the bodies. I just need a confirmation with regards to ages, I need to know if they were adults or children.”

“I’ve already said that the bodies were too badly burnt to identify, look they already arrived in bags and there were no relatives.”

“So, what are you saying?”

“There would be no service for them, the bags were never opened as there was no point.”

“So, you’re saying that they were burnt in the condition they arrived, someone just tossed them in the flames without even checking they were actually bodies in there?”

“Why would we presume otherwise?”

“Because a man might go to prison for murder, yet there’s no bodies to even prove their dead.”

“I’m sorry but that’s all I can tell you.”

“Yeah okay, thanks for your time anyway.”

“Good luck with your case Agent Mulder, I hope it all goes well and the man gets off if he’s innocent.”

“Yeah I hope he does too.”

Now all I could do was return the rental car and wait at the airport for my departure, once back at work I’d discuss all the evidence with Skinner and see what they could charge him with. I had a headache coming on and knew this was far from over, also I wanted to see Alex as soon as I was back there too.

The flight was over before I even realized, well I guess that’s what happens when you don’t get any sleep the night before and you’re exhausted. I would have to take a cab back to my apartment and retrieve my own car before going to the Hoover, I went as far as the mailbox and retrieved my car keys, I then headed back out and threw my bag in the trunk. I would deal with Alex and work, then after all was sorted I’d return to my apartment and feed the fish.

I arrived at work and decided to go and pay Alex a visit first, it was perhaps too late in the day to do much more as Skinner was in a meeting until later on. I went down to the rooms that held people waiting to be questioned or transferred, shit then I realized Alex would also be gone from here within a couple of days too. I spoke to the agent on duty and inquired about Alex and how he was doing, apparently now he was refusing to eat or even take any medication.

Well it looked like I would have my work cut out as I dealt with him, Alex could be really stubborn at times and it was hard to get him to cooperate with me. Well I knew I might as well get this over with and see what he had to say for himself, I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to find him asleep. It appeared that he was out for the count and never even moved when I said his name, I felt guilty waking him but I knew we needed to talk.

“Alex wake up, come on I need to talk to you babe.”

“Go away Mulder.”

“Alex at least turn around and say it to my face if you mean it.”

“Fuck off and leave me alone…”

“What’s the matter Alex, are you afraid to even look at me.”

“Go to hell…”

Shit within seconds Alex moved and was off the small bed, he then had me pinned up against the wall with his fist raised. I found it odd as he’d never hurt me before, yet the man before me looked so different and it scared me.

“Go on then do it Alex, hit me if it will make you feel better.”

“You always have to keep pushing me Mulder, why can’t you just forget about me and move on?”

“I can’t.”

“Maybe you should accept the fact that I’ll be going to prison.”

“There’s still time Alex, we might find something…”

Suddenly he was right up in my face and I could feel his breath as he spoke, yet something in his eyes was so off and I wondered if he were ill or something.

“So, what information did you learn on your little trip Mulder, was there anything to prove my innocence?”

“No that’s why I’m…”

Alex suddenly silenced me with his own mouth and I didn’t want the kiss to end, then he pushed away from me and returned to sit back down on the bed.

“There now you can leave Mulder, it was only ever sex between us and you know that.”

“Like fuck is it just sex, you know that I love you Alex and I know that you love me.”

“Then you’re nothing more than a fool, I have rights Mulder and I want you gone.”

“Alex look at me.”

“What?”

“Have you taken something?”

“Such as?”

“You look out of it and that might be impairing your ability to think straight.”

“What the hell do you expect Mulder, they’ve had me sedated on and off for hours now. One thing I do know for sure though, there’s no me and you, no us.”

“Look I’ll get the doctor to take a look at you Alex, also when did you last eat something?”

“I don’t need a fuckin doctor Mulder; will you just go and leave me the fuck alone?”

Something was wrong and I couldn’t put my finger on it, hell maybe I should ask the doctor what the hell they sedated him with and how long it would take to wear off. I knew Alex was trying to push me away, he expected the worst to happen and didn’t want to see me get hurt after it all blew up. I just had to convince him to hang in there, I was sure things could be dealt with if there were no bodies to prove anything. Maybe it was time I left him alone for now, all I was doing was making him get wound up even more than he was and that wasn’t good.

“Alex I’ll leave you alone for now, however I promise you that this isn’t over.”

“It’s over Mulder, a couple of days and I won’t even be your problem anymore.”

“Is that what you think Alex, oh so when you get transferred I’ll just forget all about you?”

“If I get transferred…”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Nothing, just forget I said anything.”

Alex lay back down and turned his back towards me, my mind was working overtime and right now he scared the hell out of me. The comment about not being my problem or not getting transferred, shit it made me think he was far more suicidal than either myself or Skinner had realized. I walked over to where he lay and kissed him on his head, I then spoke to him once more before leaving the room.

“I love you more than anything Alex and you have to realize that, it took me some time but I learnt the hard way just how much you mean to me now. I can’t lose you now, please just remember that and don’t do anything stupid.”

I was assured that Alex would be watched; however a doctor wouldn’t see him until morning unless there was a major reason to do so before then. It was already noted that he was suicidal and severely depressed, yet they believed he was in the safest place possible right now.

It was early evening now and I knew that Skinner was no longer here, maybe I should go home and check out my own place and make sure no one visited while I was away. Tomorrow I’d have to deal with Skinner and sort out all the evidence against Alex, it also depressed me knowing that tomorrow night would be the last night he spent at the Hoover. Alex would be transferred to a prison cell with god knows who else, people that would most likely just see him as an easy target unless he pulled himself together.

Once home I showered and called out for a pizza, there I were dictating to Alex about the need to eat and I’d forgot to do it myself. It was hard as I had no real appetite right now, yet I sat here and forced myself to eat at least half of it before giving up. I then decided on an early night so I’d be prepared for tomorrow morning, not that any of my plans were to go as I’d wanted and life was so complicated.

I lay in bed and just stared up at the ceiling, my body still ached from the beating I’d taken and that was when I started thinking. Alex wasn’t the type to miss a thing, yet he’d grabbed me and was right up in my face when I saw him. Funny he’d not once mentioned the bruises that were around my throat and on my face.

Great and now my mind was on a roller coaster and sleep was not forthcoming, then the tears decided to come instead. Something was wrong with Alex and I didn’t give a shit what the doctor said about it, tomorrow I’d try and see him and check he was doing okay. For now though I just tossed and turned praying for some sleep, yet morning came around fast and I had a long day ahead of me.

I’d phoned Skinner and he arranged to see me straight away, apparently, he’d have everything relevant ready for when I reached his office. I wanted to see everything, also I wanted to know about all the calls Skinner had made to the courts to see what was happening with this case.

I arrived at his office and told to take a seat, soon Skinner sat behind his desk and opened a few files that were in front of him. Well for now I decided to remain quiet until he was ready to explain it all to me, soon he looked up at me and all I saw was a face that looked grim and tired.

“Thanks’ for seeing me Sir, I just want to get up to date with everything now that there’s no bodies to be used as evidence.”

“No problem Agent Mulder, I’ll explain what I know and then we can take it from there if that’s okay.”

“Yeah okay Sir.”

“I’m not sure how much you already know, so I will apologise up front if I repeat anything you do know.”

“Yeah okay Sir, can I just ask how Alex is this morning as he was rather out of it yesterday?”

“The doctor says he’s okay, some of it might be due to the sedative they keep administering him.”

“Why, has he been sedated since last night?”

“Yes, it would appear so, he’s proving to be hard work Agent Mulder and refuses to cooperate.”

“I’ll try talking to him later, I’m not sure if it’ll do any good though Sir.”

“Well it’s worth a try, right let’s get down to this business at hand shall we.”

“Yeah okay Sir.”

“Right it appears all victims were strangled with a garrotte; the weapon was found at the scene and it carried mixed DNA from Alex and at least three of the victims.”

“How do they know they were strangled, especially if the bodies were never autopsied?”

“They were seen by fireman and a couple of the bodies had their throats cut, plus the weapon backs up his statement.”

“So, it all comes down to the statement of one fireman, will this man attend court and state this under oath Sir?”

“The fireman died in a house fire a month later Agent Mulder, so they will have to rely on a statement he gave at the time.”

“Shit it all sounds like one big set up if you ask me, how can they use his statement Sir?”

“It would be no good if that was all they had, however there’s other evidence to back up his statement.”

“Go on then Sir, what other evidence do they have?”

“The fire started in the basement where it appears the victims were kept; DNA suggests that they were moved individually from time to time. The fire never fully reached the top floor and one room remained untouched, there was a mattress on the floor inside that room. That is where they believe he abused his victims, they were raped and then returned to the basement to later be strangled to death. Then it is believed that the fire was set to destroy all the evidence, obviously the killer thought the whole house would burn down.”

“So, I am to believe that Alex is capable of… shit right now I don’t even want to think about what happened to those children. Alex is far from stupid and would never leave evidence like that, not that I believe he did it Sir.”

“I understand what you mean Agent Mulder, why burn a basement but leave the mattress intact?”

“So how do they know that the victims were sexually abused then without bodies, or did the fireman check for that too?”

“Agent Mulder there was evidence on the mattress, they found semen and vaginal DNA. That puts Alex there at the time of death, it also incriminates him, as how else would his semen be there? No one could have got hold of it and just placed it there, the court will say it had to be Alex that was there and the one that carried out the act.”

“There is another way Sir.”

“What would that be Agent Mulder?”

“The clone Sir, it would share the same DNA as Alex, Spender would have had no problem setting Alex up for this.”

“God I never thought of that, however the court would not believe a story like that unless you produce the clone in person.”

“Shit Alex destroyed it along with Spender, this sounds more and more like Spender having the last laugh over Alex.”

“Well I have to admit that I agree with you, however there’s also another witness too Agent Mulder.”

“What, when did they come forward?”

“Only yesterday, apparently Alex was seen in a bar bragging about how he was going to rob the house and kill everyone in it.”

“Shit weeks on this and it just keeps getting worse, I really can’t see a way out of this for Alex. Spender knew Alex wanted him dead and never trusted him, what better way to get back at Alex if he managed to kill Spender.”

“I agree, chances are that it was the clone doing all the bragging in that bar, also I bet the witness was paid by the consortium to say what he has.”

“Possibly, yet my guess is that it’s Luis Cardinal, most of the consortium wanted nothing to do with Spender and were happy to see him dead Sir.”

“So why don’t the others back up Alex’s story, I thought he ended up working for the Englishman.”

“Yeah Alex did a job and got his freedom in return, the Englishman made it clear that he was on his own afterwards.”

“So, no luck there then Agent Mulder?”

“I doubt it, however right now I’m willing to try anything.”

“Will you be going to see Alex now?”

“No I’ll do it later, I have a couple of things that I need to do in my office first.”

I left his office and returned to the basement, I planned to spend the rest of the day here and saw no point in going home tonight. I wanted to spend some time alone with Alex and he was going to be transferred first thing in the morning, this way I could see him before he left.

I worked throughout the rest of the day and made my own notes, I’d even tried contacting the Englishman without any luck. I had the name of the witness and would pay him a visit before the court date, maybe I could get some information on him and see if he also worked for the consortium or even Spender. The time had gone nowhere and I soon realized it was getting late, shit and I still hadn’t even paid Alex a visit today. There was also the fact that this was his last night here, within ten hours he’d be facing a real cell and real inmates.

I opened the door and found him sat with his back against the wall, yet now he looked far worse than he had the day before. It was as if he looked straight through me, was he that far gone and had shut himself out of the place he was now in. Maybe this was his way of dealing with it all, however I could tell that he was losing weight and making himself ill.

“Alex it’s me Fox.”

“Fox…”

“Yeah, come on look at me babe.”

“You’re not real.”

“What, why do you say that Alex?”

“Because I made you go away, I told you to never come back here.”

“And since when did I ever listen or follow rules, Alex?”

I went over to the bed and took hold of his chin gently; I then lifted his head so that he faced me. God what I saw there made me feel sick, Alex looks so gaunt and a sickly pale colour. Even his eyes weren’t shining like they usually did, yet I couldn’t help but notice how dilated his pupils were.

“Alex have you had any other visitors?”

“Such as who?”

“Anyone who might have brought you something, shit you look high as a fucking kite right now.”

“No one other than the agents that work here, I’m okay so stop worrying about me.”

“You’re not okay Alex, have you taken any medication today?”

“No, the doctor said I have to be sedated for my own good.”

“Why, do you keep fighting them Alex?”

“Only when they force me to eat.”

“But you have to eat babe.”

“I’m good, I have other stuff better than food.”

“What stuff Alex?”

“That would be telling.”

I’d had enough of this and I knew something was wrong, there had to be something he’d taken to make him as high as this. I left him where he was and called the doctor, I said it was an emergency and I wanted him here right now. Alex was fast asleep when the doctor finally arrived, that suited me as I’d rather speak to the doctor alone anyway.

“So, what is it this time Agent Mulder?”

“You tell me, take a look at his pupils and then tell me he’s not high on something.”

“We’ve had him sedated Agent Mulder, people react differently to the sedative that’s all. Look my guess is he’s had too much, maybe that’s why he’s like that.”

“You’re a fuckin doctor, how the hell could you give him too much?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, look just calm down and I’ll explain.”

“Yeah I think you had better explain it to me.”

“Alex was given the correct dose for his height and weight; however I’m guessing he’s still refusing to eat anything. That alone can make the medication react more and he will appear out of it, just let me check him over and then I’ll decide what to do.”

“Yeah okay, I’m just worried about him that’s all.”

I watched as the doctor opened his bag and pulled out a syringe, he then pulled Alex’s sleeve up and searched for a prominent vain. I then watched as he tapped against the vein until he was rewarded with what he wanted, then he swiftly inserted the needle and withdrew some blood.

“I’ll get this to the lab and tell them I want it to be high priority, I will try to get the results back before he’s transferred in the morning. I’m sure the prison will need to know exactly what their dealing with, otherwise he won’t survive five minutes in there like this.”

“Thanks, I’ll be working in my office should you get the results beforehand.”

The doctor left and I went and sat beside Alex, he’d never even flinched when the doctor had withdrawn the blood. Alex was totally out of it now and even let me hold him in my arms, it did feel strange at first not having him fight me all the time. I made the most of it and sat there for over two hours just holding him close, shit I was afraid to let go knowing he’d be in prison within a few hours.

Eventually I lay him down and covered him up, Alex remained asleep through it all and I never even got to say goodbye to him. That was one of the reasons why I planned to return early in the morning, then hopefully I’d see him awake and we could talk before he was transferred.

I returned to my office and just sat there at my desk, everything was going wrong and I knew that I was slowly losing Alex. Hell, maybe this was justice after the way I’d pushed him away and wanted nothing to do with him all those years. In the end I folded my arms on the desk and rested against them, I’d hardly slept for days now and was close to having a mental break down myself.

Sometime later I heard my door open and looked up to see Skinner stood there, it took me a minute to even realize what he was saying to me.

“I’ve tried calling you Mulder, did you even go home last night?”

“No and my phone’s dead, what did you want me for Sir?”

“It’s Alex Agent Mulder…”

“What about him?”

“He was transferred…”

“What, he has a couple more hours here before they transfer him.”

“Well if you let me finish Agent Mulder.”

“Sorry Sir.”

“They’re transferring him to the nearest hospital.”

“Shit why, is it because he wasn’t eating?”

“Mulder he was found collapsed on the floor of his room, he was having some sort of seizure and nearly choked on his own tongue.”

“I have to see him right now Sir, shit where the hell did I put my damn keys?”

“I’ll drive you there Agent Mulder, believe me you’re in no fit state to drive anywhere.”

“Thanks Sir, did they get the results of the blood test back?”

“No, we’re rushing it through now and will send the results to the hospital.”

I followed Skinner to his car and got in the passenger side, I had so many scenarios running through my head and believed he’d die before I even got there. Skinner drove as fast as he dare go, the roads were busy at this time of the morning and the cars didn’t even respond to the flashing lights.

I was out of the car the very second Skinner pulled up and ran towards the entrance, however it was Skinner that managed to stay calm and talk to the doctors that were dealing with Alex. He’d also had to inform the staff that we were a couple and I was the only family he had, finally I was allowed into the room to see him.

Skinner remained outside for now, he said he’d come and find me as soon as he knew anything about Alex’s condition. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the man in the bed, I couldn’t understand what the hell was wrong with him and I was pissed that no one had listened to me sooner. Alex could have died if the seizure had happened earlier on, nobody would have even noticed until it was far too late.

I pulled the empty chair as close to the bed as it would go and reached for his hand, he felt so lifeless and it scared the hell out of me. The thought of how close I’d come to losing him, shit how close I was to still losing him. I had no idea what was wrong with him, that or even if he would pull through this. I brushed his hair away from his face and kissed him on the cheek, all I wanted was the old Alex back, the one that loved me and wanted to be with me.

Now I was unsure of whether I’d even have Alex back at all, as now this was to deal with on top of the court case and possibly prison. In a way he was right and we’d have no future if he ended up in prison, yet how the hell could I give up on the man I loved. Right now, I wanted to bring Spender back to life, then I would torture him in the most horrendous way possible.

There was a thought, maybe I could get someone like Jeramiah Smith to resurrect Spender, not that I had a body or anything that might help him do it. Chances are it would be long gone now and destroyed, then I remembered how Alex had broke into a consortium lab to take the pictures, my mind worked overtime wondering about what else I might find there.

The clone was made somewhere, I was pretty sure it would have been in a lab too. Then I remembered how no one had even known about the clone at first, that made me wonder if Spender had a secret lab of his own that the consortium knew nothing about. They were things I’d have to investigate later, right now I had to deal with Alex and all that had gone on.

Sometime later the door opened to reveal Skinner stood there, I quickly wiped my tears away hoping that he wouldn’t mention them. It was a struggle keeping everything together and I was grateful of his support right now, I just hoped he had answers with regards to Alex and his current illness.

“Sir did you manage to speak with his doctor?”

“Yeah, they plan to keep him here for a couple of days or so and take it from there.”

“So, did they say what’s wrong with him?”

“There’s no easy way of saying this Agent Mulder…”

“Please just tell me what’s wrong with him Sir.”

“You were right Agent Mulder and Alex was high, however it had nothing to do with the sedative or lack of food.”

“How the hell was he high then, what had he taken to make him like that?”

“He was high on heroin Agent Mulder.”

“How the hell did he get heroin, he was locked in a room at the FBI for fucks sake?”

“Calm down Agent Mulder, right now we don’t know whether he was given it unwillingly or whether someone got it for him at his request.”

“God so now he’s addicted to it?”

“I’m afraid it will be a rough few days for him without it, when he’s awake we will need to question him and see where he got it from.”

“Yeah well don’t worry, I’ll be asking him that myself as soon as I can Sir.”

“There’s a couple of things you’ll have to remember Agent Mulder…”

“What’s that Sir?”

“He was taking enough of the stuff to overdose on, you’ll have to tread carefully due to his mental state.”

“Shit so he was trying to kill himself, now I know what he meant about not getting transferred. Alex was hoping the heroin would kill him first, shit how the hell could he do that to me Sir?”

“I believe he was trying to free you Agent Mulder, that and save you from the future you’d have together.”

“Shit did he think I’d just forget him and move on?”

“I don’t think he was capable of rational thought, deep down he knew he wouldn’t survive in prison.”

“Yeah and all he’s done is postpone it for a few days.”

“All you can do is be here for him Agent Mulder, he will have to be kept under twenty four hour protection and guarded by us. Also, he will be cuffed to the bed once he wakes up, he’s wanted in connection with murder and that still stands no matter how ill he is.”

“Yeah I understand Sir.”

“At least his vital signs are good now and there’s no major damage, he will crave the heroin at first and it will be hard Agent Mulder.”

“Yeah I know, however I can’t leave him Sir.”

“I suggest you get some rest while he’s sleeping, this will be the calm before the storm that’s to come.”

I knew that Skinner was right, maybe I should leave and pop home while I had the chance to do so. Then I realized there was something we’d all overlooked; Alex still had an apartment and hadn’t gone there in weeks. I knew that he’d stayed at the club for some time because of me, maybe I’d go there and get some clean clothes and stuff for him. I kissed him goodbye and told him I’d return shortly; the staff had said he was sedated and would sleep most of the day anyway.

I found Skinner near the desk and asked him for a lift home, I then explained that I’d get some rest while Alex was out of it and asleep. I had no intention of telling him that I was going somewhere else the minute he drove off as I’d never hear the end of it, yet this was something I wanted to do and I also knew it had to be done too.

I arrived at the apartment block and went straight to his apartment, straight away I noticed the note that was pinned to the door. It turned out it was from the landlord and he was moaning about receiving no rent, Alex had two weeks to pay up or vacate the property. I had no idea how long the note was there for, so in the end I got the landlords phone number from a neighbour and informed him Alex was moving out.

The landlord never even questioned who I was or anything, he just complained about having tenants that couldn’t pay the rent on time. Then he went on to tell me that all the furniture came with the apartment, other than that I could take what the hell I wanted.

I looked in the kitchen and found some bags and even a couple of boxes, I soon realized that very little in the kitchen actually belonged to Alex. A mug and plate, other than that I left it all as it was unimportant. The living room had some CDs and a small music deck, I packed all that up along with a few books and other bits and pieces. It was pretty much the same in the bathroom, now there was only the bedroom left to do.

This room was the one that held most of his belongings, Alex wasn’t without clothes and most were in his usual colour of black. Shit and then I had to stop what I were doing, right at the back of the closet hung a single suit that was covered in plastic. I sat on the bed and held the suit to me realizing just how many years we’d wasted by playing games, I held in my arms the suit that Alex had worn back when he was my partner.

I knew that I was being sentimental and had to carry on with the job I’d started, soon I had everything packed up except for the drawers near his bed. Shit even the sheets still smelt of Alex and I wanted to go back to him, I opened another bag and started emptying the draw and only stopped when I saw the small box. Okay I was a nosey bastard and curiosity got the better of me, I removed the lid and noticed that it was full of photos.

I presumed the photos meant a lot to Alex, some were old and looked like they were his parents or close relatives. The man was tall and was also built like Alex, yet the women was smaller with dark hair and green eyes. Then underneath I noticed there were photos of me too, some were from a time long ago and I had no idea how Alex would have got them. Some I figured he must have taken himself, had this man really loved me that much.

I couldn’t take much more of this right now, I packed up everything that was left and placed it all in my car. Once done I decided to return to the hospital to see if Alex was awake yet, however I arrived to find him looking peaceful as he slept on. I soon resumed my position beside this bed and lay back in the chair, it was then that sleep crept up on me and I was out for the count.

I woke sometime later when I realized there was a doctor in the room, he was checking Alex’s pulse and filling in something on the chart. I stretched and felt like I was eighty after sleeping in the chair, where Alex was still sleeping oblivious to everything that was going on around him. Well maybe the doctor could tell me how long it would be until the sedative wore off, I really wanted to talk to Alex and try to make him see sense.

“How’s he doing?”

“I gather you’re his partner?”

“Yeah, I just want to know when he’ll wake up so I can talk to him.”

“Well I’d say he should wake within a couple of hours or so, you might want to be careful with the questions though.”

“I just want to know if it was his choice to take the heroin, that or whether someone forced him to take it.”

“He might not want to talk at all, we’ve given him something to help with the withdrawal. I was warned that he was suffering from depression before he was even brought here, were you aware of that?”

“Yeah, I also knew that it was getting worse too.”

“I believe he needs to see a specialist before the depression eats away at him any farther.”

“Is he going to be okay physically?”

“We have him on a drip due to the lack of food, his body is weak but will soon recover. Mentally is a totally different matter, it will depend on him and his desire to live through all of this.”

“Shit I don’t think he does want to live though, that’s the problem and he keeps pushing me away.”

“Let him wake up Agent Mulder and then we can take it from there, he will need time to adjust to his new situation and the fact that he’s still here.”

I knew that the doctor was right and all of this would take some time to deal with, I just couldn’t figure out how we’d do it before he went to prison. The doctor had no sooner left the room when I heard Alex mutter something, it turned out he was still out of it but kept saying my name. In the end I sat beside the bed and held his hand in mine, now all I could do was wait and that was something I hated doing.

“Fox is that you?”

This time I looked up and realized that his gorgeous green eyes were wide open, yet it was still as if he were looking elsewhere.

“Alex you’re awake, how are you feeling?”

“Where am I?”

“You’re in hospital Alex, you had a seizure and was brought here.”

“I don’t remember.”

“You were high on heroin Alex, maybe you remember that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah well you’ll have to sooner or later.”

“Why will I, I don’t see why the hell it matters now.”

“Well for one it happened at the Hoover where you were being detained for questioning, Skinner will want to find out where the hell you got the stuff from and who the hell gave you it. Only certain people were allowed in that room Alex and that narrows it down somewhat.”

“Well that’s not my problem Mulder.”

“So, it’s back to Mulder now, well I want answers to some of my own questions too Alex.”

“Well I don’t have to answer you either.”

“Shit I don’t know how much more of this I can take; you can’t keep pushing me away Alex and expect me to stay.”

“For fucks sake you can be so slow Mulder, I never asked you to stay, hell I don’t even want you here.”

“Tough because I’m staying.”

“Please yourself, soon I’ll be in prison and then you’ll have no choice but to fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Jesus Christ, you can be such a fuckin immature bastard at times Alex.”

“Well fuck off if you don’t like it.”

“Shit I don’t need you to answer my questions, you’ve already done that in your own way Alex.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“You’d be pissed if someone had tried to drug you and possibly kill you, yet you lay there and don’t give a shit. You were the one who knowingly took the heroin, you also planned to overdose on it and that’s why you didn’t plan to be around to get transferred.”

“Well aren’t you the clever little G man…”

“Fuck you, is this all just a game to you Alex?”

“Do you see me laughing Mulder, yeah it’s just a game and life’s a bed of fuckin roses.”

“Alex I’m doing my best to help you; I don’t know what more I can do for you…”

“Walk out of that door and never come back Mulder, I’m the one that’s going to rot in prison not you!”

“Jesus you make it sound like your blaming me Alex.”

“Well you’re the fed Mulder and the one that arrested me in the first place, so just think what the hell you want…”

I knew that Alex was doing this to make me walk out, yet truth be told the pain cut just like a knife and I couldn’t take much more. I rubbed at my face to wipe away the stray tear that fell, and that was when I knew I had to get out of here before I broke down there and then.

“I’m leaving for now Alex but don’t think this is over, I just want some space so I can clear my head and think.”

“Do what the fuck you want Mulder, just close the door quietly on your way out as I have a headache.”

Okay it was immature and a childish act, yet I couldn’t help slamming the door behind me as I walked out. Knowing Alex’s game made this no easier, part of me knew he was going to prison and there was nothing that I could do to help him right now. Shit he’d still have to go to prison no matter what I found out, as chances are this would be dragged through court and last for months. Then I’d only get to see Alex in a court room, I’d never be able to talk to him or hold him again. Alex had rights in prison and I knew that he’d refuse to see me, we both knew it would be impossible to part from each other when the time came.

I’d left the room with no destination in mind at all, for now I just walked aimlessly around the hospital grounds as it was peaceful. I could always hope that the psychiatrist managed to get through to him, as I had a feeling nothing would change and we’d still be arguing when Alex was finally transferred.

In the end I decided to grab a coffee and sit in the cafeteria for a while, I knew that soon enough I’d have to face Alex again and explain a few things with regards to the case. Sometimes I felt as if I were wasting my time, it was as if Alex didn’t want to listen and had accepted his fate. I wanted to know where the fighting spirit had gone, and how the hell he could let Spender have the last laugh as he fucked his life up.

Finally, I returned to the ward, there outside his room sat the agent that was assigned to him. I knew that they’d be wary now that Alex was awake and could cause problems for them. As soon as I entered the room I realized he was now cuffed to the bed, also I knew that he was in a worse mood now than when I left him earlier.

“You never could listen could you Mulder…”

“What are you talking about?”

“I told you to stay the fuck away and not come back.”

“And there I were thinking you knew what I was like.”

“Yeah a stubborn bastard that won’t fuck off.”

“I’d take a look in the mirror if I were you Alex, as you have no rights to call anyone stubborn.”

“Fuck you…”

“Alex can we for once just have a civil conversation, one without you swearing at me all the time?”

“Whatever.”

“I went to your apartment this morning.”

“What for?”

“Your landlord wanted the rent or you gone, I figured it was easier to take your stuff and give him the keys back.”

“Shit, what did you do with all my stuff Mulder?”

“It’s still in my car, don’t worry I’ll keep it in my apartment for now.”

“Thanks, some of it means a lot to me and I wouldn’t want to lose it.”

“Yeah I noticed a box full of photos, I also noticed the ones you have of me too.”

“Oh shit…”

“Alex can we just call a truce for now, I love you so much and this fighting is destroying me.”

“Yeah okay, however it won’t change the outcome Mulder.”

“Alex someone will be talking to you shortly, they have to try and find out if you’re suicidal at all.”

“Yeah I know, they told me that it’s just standard practice.”

“Yeah I know, I just want you to be honest with me though.”

“Okay.”

“Alex, I need to know if you’re still suicidal? I can’t help you if you lie to me.”

“I’m fine Mulder, look I just want to get this over with as soon as possible.”

“So why won’t you even look at me Alex?”

“Mulder just drop it will you.”

It was then that we were interrupted by a knock at the door and a man entered, apparently, he wanted to talk to Alex alone and prepare a report on him. I knew it was a risk assessment for the prison too, they’d want to know what his frame of mind was and what they were dealing with. I excused myself and went to grab something to eat, soon I’d have to call Skinner and let him know what was happening.

I just felt as if we were wasting what little time we had together, yet it was as if it didn’t even matter to Alex. I wasn’t worried what was said while I were gone, as an agent on the case I was allowed to see the report that was made as I was the arresting officer.

Well it would seem that Alex was far more convincing than I’d given him credit for, apparently the assessment claimed that he showed no signs of being suicidal at all. He claimed that he chose to take the heroin, it was just a temporary escape from the situation he was currently in. That meant no one would be looking out for him when he went to prison, yeah and I also bet that Luis would have someone on the inside that could get to Alex on his behalf.

I decided that I’d stay with Alex for a while, I’d ease up a bit and see what happened and maybe there might be some truth in that old saying, I’ll give him enough rope and see if he hangs himself with it. As Alex looked far more alert now, also he was talking the doctor into removing the catheter and the heart monitor. He told them that it was no longer necessary and that he needed to move around, even the doctor agreed that it would reduce the risk of a blood clot.

The final decision would come down to me though, I’d be the one that would have to deal with him when he was no longer cuffed to the bed. I knew it was like playing with fire and that Alex was a risk, yet I also knew he’d become far more depressed if I were to say no. In the end I agreed to it on one condition, Alex was to have his hands cuffed together instead of to the bed.

I removed the cuff from the bed and allowed him a few minutes to get his circulation going again, then I cuffed his hands together in front of him.

“Thanks Mulder.”

“Alex, I want you to be comfortable, just behave yourself and don’t try anything stupid okay…”

“How can I with you here Mulder, shit I bet you also have another agent right outside the door too?”

“Yeah I guess you know the drill.”

“You could say that, so now what Mulder?”

“Well I’ll have to stay for a while, when I leave the agent outside will be responsible for you Alex.”

“What so I’ll be cuffed to the bed again?”

“Yeah most likely.”

“Just fuckin great.”

“Alex I’ve no intention of leaving here for some time, I really think that we need to talk, don’t you?”

“Whatever, things can never be how we want them Mulder.”

“Look I think the whole murder case is a setup, put in place by Spender when he was alive as a way to get back at you.”

“Why do you think that, does this have something to do with the bruises around your neck and on your face?”

“I had a run in with Luis Cardinale.”

“Shit Mulder that man is a fuckin maniac and will hurt you, maybe you should drop this case and forget about me so that I know you’re safe.”

“So, you do care about me after all?”

“Jesus, what the hell do you think Fox.”

“Well I was starting to wonder…”

“Everything I’ve done was to protect you, that was why I tried to push you away and make you leave. Yet you’re a stubborn fuckin bastard, I don’t want you to be a martyr for me Fox.”

“I don’t see why you should spend the rest of your life in prison for something you never did, personally I believe Spender had the clone do a lot and used the DNA from it to hang you with.”

“Yeah he knew I wanted him dead, it would be his revenge on me should I succeed and think it was over with.”

“Do you have any idea where the clone was created Alex?”

“At a guess I’d say in a consortium lab, why what are you thinking Fox?”

“Maybe I could do some investigating, see if I can find out anything with regards to the clone.”

“Like hell you will.”

“Alex that would throw doubt on the whole case and…”

“I said no Fox, keep protecting me and Luis will end up killing you. He hates me and will want revenge for Spender, I’d never survive long on the outside world with him out there.”

“So what then, you just go to prison and accept it?”

“I have contacts Fox; I’ll see if someone else can check out the labs for me.”

“How will you contact them?”

“I’ll give you a phone number later, for now will you just hold me Fox. Right now I want to pretend none of this is happening, I want to imagine there’s only me and you for a while.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

I went over to the bed and lay beside Alex and held him in my arms, it made a change for him to be like this and not fighting me at every step. Suddenly Alex’s mouth found mine and it was like he’d never kissed me before, he put everything he had into that kiss. At first it felt like he was expecting it to be the last time he kissed me, then I realized a time would soon come and it would be the last time.

I kissed him back and wanted him to feel loved, to feel like he was loved and not in this mess by himself. Now though it was starting to have another effect upon my body, well it seemed like ages since I’d had Alex like this. Hell, the last time was most probably back in my apartment, shit then I’d gone and told him to leave.

This time I wanted Alex to know this wouldn’t be the end, I had no intentions or pushing him away afterwards. I held him in my arms and hugged him to me, it was then that I realized it was affecting Alex too and that he was hard. I wanted him and it was hard knowing it couldn’t happen, at the end of the day this was a hospital and he was a patient. God he was also under federal watch right now too and would soon be nothing more than a prisoner caged and locked up. I felt as if I owed him something, I wanted him to remember me and realized that he was mine and always would be.

“Fox…”

“Yeah.”

“Will you make love to me; I want to feel you deep inside me lover?”

“How can I Alex, shit we’re in a hospital with an armed guard sat outside the door?”

“Yeah just forget I asked, it was a stupid idea anyway.”

“Believe me I would if I could, I would give you anything right now Alex just to see you smile again.”

“It’s not your fault Fox.”

I stroked his hair and kissed him on the forehead, the man just lay there without saying a word and I knew that underneath he was disappointed. Ha, not that he was the only one either. Having him this close knowing it might never happen again, my heart was breaking and I couldn’t do a fuckin thing to stop it.

“Alex why did we waste so much time?”

“Maybe we were both idiots Fox, I think we were both afraid of rejection from each other. I thought you hated me and would never want someone like me, maybe it was the clone that made you finally see sense.”

“Yeah right, I’d wanted you for ages Alex, I was just afraid to admit it after I believed you betrayed me and that I was nothing more than a game to you.”

“Fox we both have to accept what will be, that everything might end the day I leave here. I will always be grateful to have had you as my lover, even if it is just for a short time.”

“I’ll see you in court Alex, I’ll also do everything I can to try and help you. Hey you’re allowed to have visitors too; we will be allowed to spend some time as a couple too.”

“You’re presuming that I’ll survive in there Fox, prisoners don’t last too long inside if their victims were children.”

“We need to get off this subject for now, we were meant to be enjoying what time we have left together.”

“Yeah well that’s sort of hard in here Fox.”

“Hold on I have an idea, just stay there and wait a minute.”

“Well it’s not like I can go far Fox.”

I left Alex where he was and slipped out of the room, I just wanted a quick word with the guard and the hospital staff. It didn’t take me too long and I was soon returning to Alex, I was actually surprised that he was still laid there on the bed and waiting for me. I closed the door behind me and then held out my hand to Alex, at first he looked at me and was trying to understand what it was that I wanted from him.

“Alex take my hand.”

“Fox what are you doing?”

Taking you for a shower.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I told the agent to take a break, I’m here and won’t be leaving anyway. I also told the nurse that I would be helping you shower as the cuffs made it hard.”

What so you mean no one will disturb us?”

“Finally, the penny dropped, come on babe let’s get you in that shower so I can clean you up.”

Alex took my hands and within seconds I led him into the small bathroom., I then locked the door behind us just as a precaution.

“Strip for me babe.”

“Are you really going to fuck me in the shower Fox?”

“No, I’m going to make love to you.”

Soon we were both naked and under the warm water, I was just so turned on and wanted to feel Alex’s naked hot flesh beneath my hands. I couldn’t help myself as I kissed down his body until I reached his nipples, then one by one I took them into my mouth and sucked them. Alex was so responsive and his moaning went straight to my cock, it also made me suck the hard little buds even harder until Alex was pushing his body hard against my own.

“Shit Fox you’ll have to slow down lover, that or this is going to be over in seconds.”

“Believe me I’m not letting go of you that easy, turn around for me babe.”

“Fox you’re going to have to remove the cuffs, I can’t support myself with my hands cuffed like this!”

“Shit I forgot about that, hold on a second.”

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed my pants from the floor, it didn’t take me long to find the key that would unlock the cuffs. I just hoped that Alex would behave and not try anything, shit Skinner would have my hide if he knew I was even thinking about removing them.

“Alex look at me babe, I’ll remove the cuffs, however you have to promise me that you’ll behave.”

“Jesus Fox, right now all I want is your cock deep inside me and you fucking me.”

“Making love Alex.”

“Yeah that too.”

I removed the cuffs and threw them on the bathroom floor with the keys, I then spun Alex around and slapped his backside hard.

“Ow, what the hell was that for lover?”

“For not knowing the difference between me fucking you and making love to you.”

“Hell, right now I’d accept either Fox.”

“Yeah well I want you to know how much I love you Alex, I also want you to remember that you belong to me babe and always will.”

“Fox I’ve belonged to you for years lover, however I have no objections to you reminding me whenever you can.”

“Good.”

I kissed along his neck and couldn’t resist biting him, the man was so sensuous and was like putty in my hands. I wanted to feel every bit of his body and make him become one with me, to be mine as I pleasured his gorgeous body. I licked a path down his spine as he shuddered, then he started moaning out loud as I ran my tongue between his ass cheeks. The man had one hell of an ass on him and I couldn’t get enough, then I found the secret little hole and shoved the tip of my tongue inside.

Alex was now constantly switching between English and Russian; the man was far too gone and very little of what he said actually made any sense. I then worked it even father in and knew he was struggling to hold himself together, in the end I took pity on the man and pulled away from him long enough to stand up.

“Fox please don’t leave me…”

“I’m not going anywhere babe, believe me I’m right where I want to be.”

“I need you Fox…”

“Okay no more teasing then, I love you Alex and want you to know that.”

“I know you do Fox and thank you for giving me this one time with you.”

I positioned my cock against his backside and started pushing forward, I wasn’t lying when I said I was right where I wanted to be. To be buried inside Alex and him becoming one with me. I wanted to keep him here with me and never let go of him, however I knew that the inevitable was soon about to happen. I reached around and grabbed Alex’s own straining erection, within no time he came against the bathroom tiles and I came deep inside him.

“I think we need that shower now Alex, don’t you?”

“Yeah, shit I’m exhausted now lover and need to lay down.”

“Shower first, then we can both lay down together babe.”

“Yeah that sounds good.”

We both washed ourselves, shit and then suddenly Alex had me pinned against the tiles as his mouth locked on mine. God he put everything that he had into that kiss, while I was surprised when my body started reacting again so soon after I’d come.

“Shit what are you doing to me Alex?”

“Come on we better get out and get dressed.”

“Yeah or we’ll end up staying in here all day.”

“Believe me that sounds good lover.”

Soon I turned the shower off and we both got out, I realized that there was only one towel and I let Alex use it first. The man wasted no time and was soon dressed back in his jeans and a tee shirt, he then insisted on drying me and helping me dress. Shit it felt too much like before with the clone, back when it was fully dressed and I was the one stood there naked. I guess it didn’t help that Alex couldn’t keep his hands to himself, finally I had to push him a few steps back so that I could fully dress myself.

I only just managed to fasten my pants over my own erection, I then re attached my shoulder holster and put my jacket back on before grabbing the cuffs from the floor. Within seconds Alex was kissing me once more, then he wasn’t helping me compose myself at all. The kiss was long and passionate, then I felt his hand unfasten my pants and slip inside my boxers.

“We’re supposed to be getting dressed Alex…”

“I want to do this for you Fox, please let me make you come.”

Suddenly Alex was on his knees and had that gorgeous mouth wrapped around my erection, while I was in heaven and I knew I wouldn’t last long. I could feel as Alex pulled my clothes even farther down, then suddenly he shoved a finger inside my ass and I was coming. I couldn’t hold back as I came inside his mouth, my whole body was now boneless and I was struggling to stand. Alex got up from the floor and hugged me tight, it was as he stepped away and spoke that I knew something was wrong.

“I’m so sorry Fox.”

I opened my eyes and soon realized what he’d done, Alex had grabbed my gun and now stood there with it pointed at my chest.

“What the hell are you doing Alex?”

“Getting the hell out of this room to start with.”

“The agent will be back now Alex; shit he will shoot you if you try leaving here.”

“That’s why I have you Fox, no one will shoot if I have you as my hostage.”

“Shit did you use me Alex, was this your plan all along?”

“No, I guess that I just saw an opportunity and took it.”

“You won’t get out of this hospital Alex.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

“So, what is your grand plan when you leave this room?”

“I don’t know yet, just make yourself decent Fox unless you want everyone to see what you’ve got.”

I fastened my pants and made sure I looked somewhat normal, Alex was unpredictable right now and I wouldn’t put anything past him. He pushed me in front of him and then grabbed something, that was when I realized that he’d picked up the cuffs from the floor.

“Put your hands behind your back Fox.”

“What? Shit you don’t need to cuff me; I swear that I won’t fight you Alex.”

“I won’t hurt you Fox; however I need the cuffs to make it look more convincing in front of the other agent.”

“Please don’t do this Alex, what happens if it all goes wrong and they shoot you?”

“I’m a dead man regardless Fox, it’s you that needs to accept that fact.”

“I can’t, I don’t want to imagine a world without you in it Alex.”

“Fox just put your arms behind your back, that or I’ll just put a bullet in my head right now.”

“Oh shit…”

I had no idea whether Alex meant it or not, that was the reason why I did as he asked and placed my hands behind my back. Alex moved fast and soon I was cuffed, then he told me to open the door and walk out. At first the guard only saw me and just smiled, then he had no time to react as Alex pointed the gun towards the agent’s head.

“Slowly remove your gun and give it to me.”

“Okay take it easy and then no one has to get hurt.”

“Just give me your fuckin gun, oh and you can get your cuffs out too.”

I watched as the agent moved, he handed over his gun and now stood there with his cuffs in his hands. I could see that Alex was deciding what to do, there we no point cuffing the agent to the chair when he could move it. Then I realized what it was that Alex was looking at, the door handles where like semi circles and you had to pull on them.

“Cuff yourself to the door handle and then don’t move.”

Alex then ordered the rest of the staff to go into a small office, he then cut the phone wires before leaving them locked in the small room.

“Alex where are we going?”

“To find a doctor.”

“This is insane…”

“Fox just shut up and do as I say.”

Alex walked along the corridor opening the doors as he went, I was just thankful that this part of the hospital housed very few patients. I didn’t want to lose Alex and have him wind up dead, neither did I want some innocent patient or member of staff to wind up dead either.

I was about to give up all hope of this coming to an end and everyone surviving, then Alex opened the nest door and there was a bed with a patient in it. Also there stood beside the bed was a doctor, he’d heard the door and looked up to see Alex stood there with the gun in his hand.

“What’s going on? This is a hospital and sick people are trying to get some rest.”

“I only need you for a few minutes, I’m sure your patients can survive that long without you.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Show me where the pharmacy is.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ll put a bullet in this feds head if you don’t do as I ask.”

“Very well, I take it your aware the police will soon know about this.”

“That doesn’t concern you.”

The doctor walked in front of us and led Alex to the pharmacy, Alex then ordered the staff to leave the keys to the medicine cabinets and to go. He ordered all the staff out of the room including the doctor, he then locked the door and dragged a metal cabinet in front of it.

“Alex what are you doing?”

“Just shut the hell up Fox and let me think.”

“Alex there’s no way out of this room, shit how long do you think it will take them to get to you in here?”

“There was never anywhere for me to go Fox, I guess I just want some time alone with you and to be thankful for what you did for me today.”

“Alex I’d do it again in a heartbeat, I just don’t understand why you chose this room though.”

“Think about it Fox.”

“Oh shit…”

“I’m so sorry Fox, it has to be like this as I won’t survive in prison and you know that.”

“So, what’s the plan Alex, we just spend some time in this room together and then you overdose…”

“Something like that.”

“So, Spenders dead and gone, yet he still has the final say in your life Alex and you’re going to let him win.”

“I don’t have a fuckin choice Fox.”

“Also why bring me here to end your life, you have a gun in your hand and could have ended it in seconds.”

“Maybe because I’m nothing more than a coward at the end of the day, hopefully this way I’ll just fall asleep and never wake up.”

“What and you just expect me to stand here and watch?”

“I had to bring you here Fox, that way they won’t storm the place and shoot me on sight. You know what their game is Fox, just as I do myself. Hell, they even had you do it with Duane Barry, I’m not stupid and know they’ll use trained negotiators.”

“I hadn’t thought you’d paid much attention when we were in that room Alex, you seemed miles away that day.”

“Yeah I remember, honesty, containment, conciliation and resolution. Oh, then there was that whole needing a friend and someone to trust crap. Barry was ex FBI and so am I Fox.”

“Well you already have a friend here with you Alex who does trust you, so why were you miles away that day?”

“Well maybe it was because my new partner seemed to have a fuckin death wish, you rushed in with no thought at all to yourself.”

“Yeah so maybe I was an idiot, I figured I’d already pissed you off by then anyway, hell at times I wondered if you even liked me.”

“You idiot, I was acting weird that day because I realized how much you meant to me. I guess you could say that was the day I came to my senses, it was right back then that I realized I loved you.”

“Oh shit Alex, I hadn’t even realized and then I put you through so much shit.”

“It’s the past now Fox.”

“Yeah but this isn’t is it…”

“What do you want me to say to make this easier for you Fox?”

“I want you to just give yourself up Alex, before this all gets out of hand and you wind up dead.”

I watched as Alex momentarily closed his eyes and remained quiet, I knew by his face that he was exhausted and this was taking its toll on him. By rights he should be back in that hospital bed and recovering, he was still weak from his time on the heroin and the lack of food. Then I noticed his eyes open again and re focus on me, yet his face had changed and now he looked pissed off.

“What’s the matter Alex?”

“You.”

“Why what have I done?”

“You want me to stay alive so you feel better, poor Fox all alone but you’ll cope because you get to see me every few months or so. Whereas I’ll be locked up and will spend months alive and suffering just to make you happy every once in a while.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Fox if you love me let me go, you wouldn’t want to see me suffer.”

“Yeah and if you love me Alex you wouldn’t want to see me alone without you.”

“I guess it’s stale mate then Fox.”

“Yeah right, you end it today Alex and the only winner is Spender.”

“Fox we’re just going around in circles…”

Suddenly we were interrupted by the phone on the desk, we both froze and just started at it like it was some strange presence intruding on us.”

“Fox answer the phone.”

“I can’t with my hands behind my back.”

“Shit I forgot about that.”

Alex removed the cuffs from one of my wrists, yet he still made sure he had the gun trained on my chest as he pointed to the phone. Alex remained quiet while I took a deep breath and picked up the handset, I then tried to remain calm as I spoke.

“This is Agent Fox Mulder.”

“I’m Tom and I’m a hostage negotiator, is it possible to speak to the man holding you captive?”

“He won’t talk to you.”

“We need to talk with him so we can get control of this situation, you as an FBI agent must understand that?”

“Yeah I do, however so does he. I have no idea what you know regarding my situation either. Alex Krycek is also an ex FBI agent and knows the whole routine, he’s also my lover.”

“Okay that might change things somewhat, do you think he’s capable of hurting you Agent Mulder?”

“Anything’s possible if you push him, I think right now all he needs is some time to accept things.”

“You must be aware that we can only hold back for so long, I’ve also got the Assistant Director on my back too and he wants results like yesterday.”

“Would that happen to be AD Skinner by any chance?”

“Yeah why?”

“Is he there with you right now?”

“Yeah he’s breathing down my neck as we speak.”

“Can I talk to him; it might help you out too.”

“Be my guest.”

I looked at Alex and realized he was pacing up and down, part of me wondered if I could overpower him and then get the gun away from him. I was running many scenarios through my head when I heard Skinners voice, I’d got side tracked and forgot all about the man.

“Agent Mulder…”

“Sorry Sir I was miles away.”

“What the hell is Alex trying to achieve by all of this?”

“He’s scared Sir, he doesn’t want to go to prison as he thinks he won’t survive.”

“So, he doesn’t want to go to prison, so to prove that he kidnaps a federal agent and holds him at gunpoint.”

“Alex won’t shoot me Sir.”

“Are you sure Agent Mulder, look we need this dealt with as fast as possible.”

“I’m well aware of that Sir.”

“You have a couple of hours to talk him down, that or swat will have to come in and take over.”

“Are you serious?”

“I take my orders from higher up just like you Agent Mulder.”

“Yeah and obviously someone within the bureau wants him out of the picture.”

“You have two hours, then I’ll want some answers from you Agent Mulder.”

“What answers Sir?”

“Answers as to how Alex Krycek got your gun and manged to restrain you with your own cuffs.”

“Yeah okay, I need to go Sir and talk to Alex.”

I hung up on Skinner and just stood there at first, I knew this had gotten way out of hand now and Alex was literally playing with fire. Sometimes I wondered if he wanted someone else to pull the trigger, maybe that was his real plan all along and he knew they’d take him out if he refuses to cooperate.

“Alex are you still with me?”

“Yeah so what did they have to say?”

“We have two hours before they send SWAT in, I’m guessing someone on the inside wants you dead and buried.”

“It’s possible, Spender had plenty of people inside the Hoover that worked for him.”

“Yeah but he’s dead now.”

“Yeah and it never stopped Luis did it?”

“Great, I can’t stand here and watch while they take you out Alex.”

“Don’t worry Fox as it won’t come to that, I’ll deal with the situation before it gets that far.”

“So what are you saying Alex, that I have less than two hours left with you?”

“I’m sorry Fox.”

God I really couldn’t handle this right now, I was so angry and wanted to lash out at someone. Well the only person here was Alex and I didn’t want to hurt him again, so I took my fist and punched the nearest wall.

“Oh fuck, fuck. fuck…”

“What the hell did you do that for Fox?”

“Because I’m pissed off with all of this shit, it’s just one thing after another and I hate every fuckin member of the consortium.”

“Sit on that chair and I’ll get something for the pain.”

Well at least we were in the right place for medical supplies, Alex grabbed a couple of boxes from the shelf and then brought me a glass of water. The first thing I did was look to see what he was planning to give me, right now I wouldn’t put it past him giving me a sedative or something. I suddenly had an image in my head of him drugging me and me passing out, then I wake to find Alex dead beside me.

“Fox…”

“What?”

“You were miles away lover.”

“I need to see the box the pills came in.”

“Why, I only gave you standard pain meds Fox.”

“I need to see the fuckin box Alex…”

“Here, knock yourself out Mulder.”

Alex threw the box down in front of me and I knew he was telling me the truth, yet I still couldn’t hold myself together as the tears came. I knew that Alex was watching me and I didn’t like it one bit, as I couldn’t show my own weakness at a time I had to be alert to keep him alive.

“I’m so sorry Alex.”

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t trust me Fox, do you really think I want to see you dead?”

“No, I just thought… What the hell does it matter now!”

“Talk to me Fox, please I need to know what you’re thinking lover.”

“I thought you were going to drug me, shit so that I wouldn’t be able to stop you ending your own life.”

“Fox I want you with me at the end, I need you to hold me so I know that you really do love me.”

“You can’t ask me to do that Alex, please I can’t just sit here and watch you kill yourself…”

“Well I love you with all my heart Fox and I’d do anything for you, except go to prison. What we have ends one way or another, right here and within the next hour or so. I’m asking you, shit no I’m begging you to let me go Fox.”

Great now the tears were coming even faster, how the hell could I just sit here and hold him as he dies. Knowing that a huge part of me will also die alongside him, I just couldn’t do it and I wanted him to live no matter what.

“I can’t do it, god I’m so sorry Alex.”

“Then all I ask is that you stay out of my way Fox, I can always cuff you to the table or something if it makes it any easier on you.”

“Nothing will make it easier on me Alex, shit I don’t want you to die and leave me here all alone.”

“What do you think will happen to me in prison Fox?”

“I could try and have you put in isolation, there has to be a way to get you some protection. You can’t give up that easy Alex, at least let me speak to Skinner and see what I can do.”

“It’s too late Fox, plus you still haven’t answered my question either.”

“What?”

“I asked you to think about me and tell me what you think will happen to me in prison.”

“I can’t answer that…”

“Why the hell not Fox?”

“Because I don’t want to think about it.”

“Not thinking about it won’t stop it from happening Fox, maybe I should spell it out for you so you understand why I don’t want to be in there.”

“Shut up.”

“Why will the truth hurt Fox?”

“I said shut up…”

“Chances are I’ll be abused and beat within an inch of my life; I’ll end up getting raped on a regular basis too Fox. Can you imagine what sort of life I’ll have; well I won’t be someone’s bitch for you or anyone else.”

“I said shut the fuck up, just shut the fuck up Alex…”

“What’s the matter, does the truth hurt Fox?”

“You fuckin bastard…”

I never even realized what I was doing until it was too late, within seconds I had him pinned against the wall and pressed my arm across his throat.

“I see some things never change do they Fox.”

I felt the gun that was pressed against my stomach, it was then that I even remembered about the gun at all. Alex was always good at pushing my buttons and pushing me to the limit.

“Come on Fox, just hit me if it’s what you really want…”

I looked into his gorgeous green eyes and knew I couldn’t do it; I could feel the tension and fear that was coming from his trembling body. I let up on his throat and made it a little less painful for him, then my lips found his and I was so lost and drowning in the man that was Alex Krycek. I kept it up until I was in need of air, only then did I let go and take a step backwards.

“Why do you do this to me Alex, you deliberately provoke me so I’ll hurt you again?”

“I do it so that you’ll hate me, I need you to hate me Fox and then it will be easier for you to let go.”

“Shit Alex that won’t happen, you’ve done things in the past that made me think I hated you, yet deep down I still wanted you.”

“Maybe you should have carried on hating me then.”

“Alex, I said it made me think I hated you. Later I realized that I never hated you, I guess I just hated some of the things you did.”

“Only you Fox could love someone like me, look I think we’ve pissed around too much and it’s time to end this little charade.”

“What…”

“Fox sit back down on the chair, maybe it would be better if I do cuff you after all.”

“Please don’t Alex, I need to be able to hold you one last time.”

“Fine, however you stay in that chair until I say you can move. I might not be willing to kill you Fox; however, I’ll have no problem shooting you in the leg or something.”

“I promise not to move Alex.”

“Good boy.”

All I could do was sit here and watch as Alex moved, the medication was all done in an alphabetical order and Alex seemed to know what he was looking for too. Soon he found it and started opening a small packet, for some reason I was compelled and had to know what he was planning to take. Maybe some part of me wanted to know how long I had left with him, I wanted to know what would happen when he took them.

“Alex what are you taking?”

“Why does it matter Fox?”

“Please, I just want to know how long they will take to work.”

“Well they were treating me with methadone for the heroin problem, I just figured I’d use that and just take far more than was needed.”

“Shit you’re going to take methadone?”

“They dissolve straight away and will work fast Fox, also I know once it’s done I won’t be able to change my mind either.”

“I can’t stop you can I, nothing I do will make you change your mind?”

“No, it’s too late now Fox.”

Alex came over towards me and kissed me, shit then within seconds he placed the tablets within his mouth and closed it. I watched as he walked over to the far wall and sat on the floor, Alex just sat with his back pressed against the wall waiting. I watched him and soon his breathing started to change and it would be over soon, then his eyes slowly closed and I made my move.

I searched the shelves and found what I was looking for and moved fast, I knew that time meant everything right now if I wanted to save Alex. I grabbed the Naloxone and opened a clean syringe to administer it with, then working on automatic I filled the syringe and injected it straight into Alex’s thigh muscle. I’d done a training course years ago that dealt with drug users and how to administer the liquid, I also knew it had more chance of working if it was injected straight into the muscle rather than the soft tissue.

Once done I grabbed the phone and pulled it down onto the floor where I sat with Alex, as soon as I picked up the receiver I heard a voice at the other end and felt like there might be a chance of helping him after all.

“Who am I speaking to?”

“I’m the man trying to help you both get out of there alive; can you identify yourself Sir?”

“I’m Agent Fox Mulder and I need help right now, Alex overdosed and I’m afraid he will die.”

“Can you give him CPR, then someone will be there within minutes and will bring a Narcan kit with them.”

“I’ve already injected him with a dose of it.”

“Well your quick thinking has greatly reduced his chance of dying, try waking him and if it doesn’t work try CPR.”

I dropped the phone on the floor and tried waking Alex up, in the end I had to lay him on his back and start CPR. I could hear as the door was forced open and someone was entering the room. I knew they were talking to me and I didn’t care, my only concern was the man in front of me that wasn’t waking up.

“Agent Mulder, you need to let the medics take over now.”

“I can’t leave him…”

“You don’t have to leave him, just move back a bit and let someone check him over.”

Someone came over to me and led me towards the chair once more, all I could do was watch as they worked on Alex, then finally someone came over and knelt in front of me.

“He has a strong pulse Agent Mulder and he should be okay; we need to get him into a hospital room and have him monitored for a while.”

“I need to go with him…”

“You need to go home and get some sleep; Alex will be kept sedated and the next twenty four hours will determine the outcome.”

“That’s why I have to stay, what if he dies and I’m not here with him?”

“He is young and healthy, Agent Mulder you need to think about yourself before you collapsed and become sick yourself.”

“Well I’m not leaving until I know he’s going to be okay.”

“Fine, I’ll go see if the hospital can provide you with a bed or something.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

I sat in a chair and watched as they cleaned Alex and stripped him down to his boxers, then they placed some pads to his chest so they could monitor his heart. The man lay there and looked so weak and like a statue, he never even flinched as they came and took some blood from him. Finally, a nurse came into the room and fitted a catheter, then he was covered with a sheet and left alone for now. I was glad to be alone with Alex and was exhausted myself. In the end I fell asleep in the chair where I sat, I had no idea how much time had passed before someone shook my shoulder and woke me up.

“Agent Mulder.”

“Yeah, shit is everything alright with Alex?”

“Yes, he’s doing okay, he’s passed the danger period and will soon wake up.”

“Thank god.”

“Someone will be coming to take him for a few tests, we just want to make sure there were no complications.”

“Such as?”

“We will be running a cat scan, don’t worry yourself as it’s standard practice.”

“Okay, will I have to stay here?”

“Well I figured it would be a good time to go home, maybe grab a shower and change.”

“How long will Alex be gone?”

“At least a couple of hours or so.”

“Fine, I guess I might as well go home for a while.”

I went home and showered, I even decided to shave too and dress in some clean clothes. I then made the mistake of going into the room and collapsing onto the couch, I tried so hard to keep my eyes open without any luck at all. I guess I was physically and mentally exhausted from everything that happened over the last week or so, sleep came fast and I slept for hours without even realizing it.

Finally, I woke and had one hell of a headache and had to pop a couple of pills, I then looked at the clock and realized I’d slept for over twelve hours. So, I moved as fast as my head would allow and grabbed my car keys and phone, I had to get back to the hospital and see if everything went alright with Alex.

I arrived at the hospital and made my way to Alex’s room, not that I made it that far. I turned a corner and ran straight into AD Skinner; I’d thought about trying to avoid the man and then realized it was too late for that. Skinner had already seen me, shit and now he would want answers with regards to Alex and how he got my gun.

“Agent Mulder can I have a word?”

“Can it wait until later Sir; I just want to check on Alex?”

“He’s gone Agent Mulder.”

“What the hell do you mean, he’s gone?”

“He was transferred to a prison hospital a few hours ago.”

“You fuckin bastard, I bet you arranged this so you could finally get rid of him.”

“The order came from way higher up than me Agent Mulder, you knew it was only a matter of time before he was transferred.”

“I fuckin hate you, shit all you had to do was call me so I could have come and seen him first. Yeah right, I bet you fuckin did it on purpose…”

Suddenly Skinner spun me around and had me pinned against his chest, he then pressed his arm tight across my throat before whispering in my ear.

“It was his choice Agent Mulder, Alex made it clear that he wanted to be transferred before you returned.”

“No, he wouldn’t do that to me.”

Skinner relaxed his grip on me and finally let go, I knew it was wrong to blame it all on him and make him suffer. I guess I just felt so lost and expected Alex to still be here when I returned, how the hell could I move on with my life now without Alex.

“Did all his test results come back before he left Sir?”

“Yeah, he was given the all clear.”

“So, he’s not suffered physically after all he did.”

“No your fast action saved him Agent Mulder, and to be honest I think that pissed him off more than anything. Alex wanted to die, he also expected you to respect his wishes.”

“Could you have sat back and watched someone you love kill themselves Sir?”

“No, I couldn’t do it either Agent Mulder.”

“So, you think that’s why he doesn’t want to see me?”

“That was only part of it Agent Mulder.”

“Shit, so what were his other reasons then?”

“According to Alex the relationship is over, you’re going to have to accept it Agent Mulder and move on.”

“I can’t, I still love him Sir.”

“Then leave him be for now, give him time to accept the changes in his life. You need to go back to work Agent Mulder, find out everything that you can and hire him a damn good lawyer.”

“Yeah I guess I can do that; can I ask you a favour Sir.”

“That would depend on the favour Agent Mulder.”

“Will you be able to check up on him from time to time, maybe let me know how he’s doing inside.”

“Yeah I can do that, maybe in time you can visit him as an agent and see him for yourself.”

“Yeah right, chances are he’d refuse to see me.”

“He can’t if it’s regarding the case Agent Mulder.”

“Yeah okay.”

“One more thing Agent Mulder…”

“What’s that Sir?”

“Alex loves you.”

“Yeah right, he has a funny way of showing it Sir.”

“Alex wants you to be free Agent Mulder, he doesn’t want you to hurt and be pining for him all the time.”

“Yeah I guess his hearts in the right place.”

“Go to work Agent Mulder, oh I left some stuff on your desk to keep you busy.”

“Great I can’t wait.”

In the end I had no choice other than to leave, there was nothing at the hospital that warranted me staying. So, I drove back to the Hoover and returned to my own office. There on my desk was a piece of paper that Skinner had left there, it turned out to be names of the best lawyers in America. I had money from when my father died and I’d never touched it, I decided I’d check out the list of lawyers myself and hire only the best.

Three hours later and numerous phone calls, finally I had the best lawyer money could buy. It also helped that the man had a hundred percent success rate too, now all I had to do was gather all the evidence and present it to him. The only thing that was really questionable was the DNA, that meant I’d have to go to the consortium labs and break in and see if I could find anything. I would do anything to see Alex free from all of this, also I guess it was a way of keeping myself busy until the day came that I could go visit him.

End of Book Three Fox Mulder

Next Book Four Alex (The Final Part)


	6. Chapter 6

Book Four Alex

I couldn’t believe it when I woke up and was still in the hospital, so I’d kicked off until a doctor came and explained it all to me. How I should be thankful that it hadn’t worked, how I should also be thankful to the agent who’s fast thinking had also saved me from any permanent damage.

Fuck I’d swear that everyone was stupid, I was in that room and overdosed because I wanted to die right there and then. So, can someone please explain it to me as to why I should be thankful to anyone?

Now they were planning to transfer me to a prison hospital until they were sure I was okay, then I knew I’d have to join the general population of prisoners… Shit I didn’t even want to think about any of that right now, or what would happen to me inside prison.

Sometime later Skinner showed up and paid me a visit, it was then that I begged the man to make the transfer happen before Fox returned. I loved him so much, yet I couldn’t understand how he’d keep me alive to face the hell that was in front of me. If he truly loved me, he’d have let me go, so I decided there and then that I’d let him go instead and then he’d have no choice in the matter.

The transfer went ahead and for that I was truly grateful of Skinner, even so I noticed the prison hospital was nothing like the one back in DC. The walls were all painted a horrible shade of grey and were rather depressing, also the floor was covered in tiles and it felt so cold in here.

At least I was left alone for most of the time so that I could rest, well I couldn’t go anywhere when they had me cuffed to the hospital bed. Also, there was the lack of clothes too, and I had to stay in the bed and still wore the hospital gown that they’d transferred me here in. Soon though all that would change and I’d be wearing standard prison clothes, as at the moment I was going to be held in a standard prison until after my trial.

I already knew what choices there would be if I were convicted of murder here in Washington, I would do life without parole and be moved to a maximum security prison. I’d heard about some of them and how the prisoners were treated, it was then that I knew I’d rather some inmate in here do away with me and I could soon piss someone off if it helped my cause.

I was finally assessed and the medical staff said I was ready to leave the prison hospital; they’d found no reason physically or mentally to keep me here or away from the other prisoners. I guess I found that hard to believe considering I was there in the first place because of my mental health, I knew that chances were someone wanted me in the prison with all the other prisoners.

I knew I’d have no one in here to watch my back and I’d be on my own, I was just concerned with how far the consortiums reach went and if this was somehow connected to Luis Cardinale. A nurse entered the room and was followed by a prison guard, she then passed him the chart and walked away leaving me alone with him. Suddenly I felt sick as the memories of that Tunisian prison came back to me.

I was an idiot and had to forget about that prison and Sam, this was America and the guards would have to answer to people way higher up the ladder. Yeah right, guards were also open to corruption and bribery if the price was right. Shit then suddenly I forgot everything as the guard grabbed me and pulled me from the bed, it was so unexpected and I fell to my knees in front of him.

“Pissing me off is not a good way to start your time here.”

“What?”

“You were ordered to strip and face the wall.”

“I never heard you…”

“Don’t just kneel there, get up and do as I say or else.”

I noticed his hand move and it came to rest over the taser that he carried, I wasn’t ready to deal with any of this right now and decided I should listen and follow the rules. I knew I’d have prisoners to deal with without pissing off the guards too, that was why I finally stood and removed the gown before facing the wall.

“Right I will explain what will happen to you while you are here with me, do what I say without question and you shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Okay.”

“I want better than that, I want you to tell me that you understand me.”

“Yes, I understand and will do as you say.”

“Good, you will be searched internally first and then you will have a shower. Afterwards you will dress in the clothes provided and then I’ll take you to the cell block, where you can then meet your new cell mate.”

“Yeah okay.”

I was pressed against the wall and could hear the guard snap on the latex gloves, he then purposely kicked my feet and forced my legs wide apart. I then felt something against my ass and then his finger entered me dry, fuck it hurt as he forced it deeper inside me and I couldn’t help but move. Then suddenly there was a new wave of pain as he grabbed me by my hair, he then proceeded to slam my head against the tiles.

“Did I give you permission to move?”

“It hurts…”

“Yeah right, this is nothing compared to what they’ll do to you out there. A pretty boy like you will soon become someone’s bitch, now hold the fuck still.”

Soon he replaced his finger and I tried to keep my breathing under control, then suddenly the finger was gone and he turned me around so that I was facing him. It was then that I realized what this was, the guard had no intention of hurting me too much physically. At the end of the day he was letting me know my place, also that he was the one in charge and would decide what happened to me.

“Right get in the shower and then get dressed.”

“Is that it?”

“For now yeah, however I wouldn’t make it a habit to question me.”

“Sorry…”

“Shut up and move.”

Soon I was fully dressed and felt somewhat safer for now, then the guard led me to the prison block and to my new cell. My heart thudded in my chest as the metal door slammed shut behind me, I knew it was exercise time and the other inmates were out in the yard and I’d have time alone. Part of me wanted to meet my new cell mate and get it over with, while the other part of me was terrified of who they might be or what they might do.

I wasn’t easily intimidated, yet in a place like this I knew it would never be one on one. Well, all I could do now was put me few personal things away and then sort my bed out, soon I heard the noise and realized all the prisoners were on their way back to their cells. I lay on my bed and kept my eyes closed; I knew if something was going to happen to me so be it as I couldn’t stop it. Then I heard someone moving around as the door slammed shut, then the other person spoke and I realized I was fucked sooner or later.

“Well look who it is, Alex Krycek. We’ve been waiting for you to arrive and you sure as hell took your time, oh we heard all about your little suicide bid.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Just someone who plans to keep a close eye on you, I mean we can’t have any fun if you try offing yourself again.”

“So that’s your job then, keep me alive so that you can beat the shit out of me?”

“No, I’m to keep you alive, while certain others get to beat the crap out of you.”

“Why me?”

“I’ve heard all about you Krycek and I know you’re far from stupid, I’m sure you know exactly who ordered this.”

“Don’t tell me, I bet it was Luis Cardinale.”

“No shit sherlock, in here you will do as I tell you.”

“Fuck you, I could beat the crap out of you right here and now.”

I’d noticed that the man was not much more than five foot in height and small framed, I knew that he’d be no match against me if he tried anything. Somehow I knew this was what they wanted me to think, somewhere out there would be some meat head waiting to step in.

“Touch me and they’ll put you in the hospital.”

“Well at least I’d be safe there.”

“Is that what you really think, most of the guards here are paid extra curtesy of Luis.”

“Well I guess I’ll have to watch my back then; look you can fuck off and leave me alone okay.”

“Yeah, for now.”

The day wore on and I was forced to leave the cell at mealtimes, I walked into a large canteen that was full of loud voices and intimidating looking men. I grabbed my tray and followed everyone else, then I just stood there like an idiot and didn’t even know where to sit. It was then that I heard my cell mate behind me, the noise was that bad that I only just caught what he said.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be Krycek, you follow me and sit at the same table as them.”

“Why the hell should I?”

“Because it will be easier on you if you do as they say, you might come out of this in one piece if you do exactly what they tell you.”

I didn’t like this one bit, I felt like a lamb that someone was leading to be slaughtered. Well it was them or everyone else anyway, I’d already noticed the looks that some of the men gave me and it unnerved me somewhat. I followed the small man to a table where six other men were sat eating, I then sat at the far end of the table and kept my head down. I heard my cell mate whisper something to the man sat at the head of the table, chances are he was the boss and would call all the shots around here.

“Well Krycek, I see you’ve already met Pete. I’m Carl by the way, I’m also Luis Cardinals friend too.”

“Well Pete here’s hard to avoid considering I have to share a cell with him, and I don’t have anything to do with Luis anymore!”

“Yes, well Pete takes his orders from me so you’d do well to listen to him, however you take orders from me when I’m around.”

“What the hell do you want from me?”

“Nothing, well that’s as long as you behave and do as I say.”

“There has to be a catch.”

“No not really, Luis wants you to spend the rest of your life rotting away in here. I guess our job is to make sure you stay alive long enough to manage it.”

“Yeah well Luis can go fuck himself, I’ll be staying alive because it’s what I want and not him.”

“Hey, I don’t give a shit what reason you choose, refuse to do as I say and I’ll let all the men that are watching you have you. I don’t think someone with your looks would last long do you?”

“Fine I’ll behave, if that’s what it takes to get you all off my back.”

Time passed slowly and I hated every minute that I was here, only four weeks had passed and I was ready to throw the towel in. I’d heard nothing from Mulder and that surprised me, also I still hadn’t met my new lawyer yet either. It was as if my whole fuckin life had come to a standstill, I was just thankful that Carl had kept his word and nobody had touched me.

I did as I was told and worked hard in the kitchens just to stop the boredom, then one evening everything changed. I’d gone out back to clear up all the garbage, shit then suddenly someone had a fuckin wire wrapped around my throat. Maybe they’d changed their minds and now wanted me dead, yet I didn’t dare fight back as the wire slowly pierced my tender skin. Then it became a natural instinct to raise my hands to my throat, not that it did me any good as the wire even sliced along the fingertips that I placed there.

Then it was over just as fast as it had started, the wire was suddenly removed and I was shoved hard to the floor. A large hand came down and grabbed my jaw forcing me to look at my attacker, I didn’t know his name however I was well aware that he was one of Carls men.

“What do you want from me?”

“Hey, I’m just the messenger.”

“Carl said no one would hurt me…”

“Stop moaning and be thankful it’s only a flesh wound, also we said you wouldn’t get hurt if you did as we said.”

“I haven’t done anything…”

“Yeah well apparently your lover has though, Luis said tell Agent Mulder to stay away from the case or you’ll be the one that pays.”

“How the hell can I tell Mulder, I haven’t even seen the man for over a month!”

“I don’t care how you do it, however I suggest you find a way and fast.”

The man turned away and just left me there on the dirty floor, hell maybe the cuts might become infected and I’d die and finally be left alone. No, I knew deep down that I wasn’t ready to give in and die just yet, maybe that day would come in the future though if this was the way things were going.

Finally, I dragged myself up from the floor and found the nearest sink, the man was right and the cuts were only flesh wounds, however right now the cuts on my fingers were making it hard to do anything. A guard came and finally I was escorted back to my cell, then once there I had to think about Mulder and how I’d have to arrange a visit from him.

Part of me wanted to see Mulder again, yet I knew that I’d be stirring everything up all over again and that wasn’t good. Mulder would come and then he’d leave me again, I couldn’t go through all that again and wanted to leave things as they were. Maybe Mulder would give up on his own and I wouldn’t need to see him, yeah right, the man never knew how to let go of anything.

I slept on it and come the next morning I’d made my decision, I would wait a week or so and see if it all calmed down. Someone had also informed me that my lawyer would be coming later in the week to discuss my case, well I suppose I should hear what the man has to say despite already knowing the outcome.

Nearly a full week went by and no one bothered me and I liked it that way, maybe Mulder had finally realized that Spender had won. I would spend the rest of my life in this hell hole until I rotted away, it was my own fault and I should have known Spender would do this to me. The man had never really trusted me and didn’t really want me for my skills, no he wanted me for my looks and as his personal rent boy. Great that reminded me of the clone and what Spender had done, the thought of that alone made me feel sick.

I tried to put Spender out of my mind and grabbed my towel and stuff, I’d worked hard all day and would be glad to have a shower and feel somewhat clean again. That was also one of the things I liked about working in the kitchens, the showers were empty by the time I got there and I didn’t have to watch my back all the time.

I turned the corner and walked straight into someone’s powerful fist, the impact was so sudden and it forced me down and onto my knees. Shit then I realized that there was more than one person attacking me, I felt hands on me and I was pulled back up so I stood. I had two men holding me up and keeping me there, and I was far too weak to fight them all at once. Each one held one of my arms, then the third man started punching me in the stomach and jaw.

I don’t think it mattered to the man where his fist connected with my body, he just seemed hell bent on inflicting as much pain as possible. Soon it got to the point where I couldn’t stand alone and was literally hung between the two men, then they seemed pissed off with that and just dropped me down onto the cold floor.

Each one of them took turns kicking my body and I felt like my chest would explode, yet all I could do was curl up into a tight ball and try to protect myself. The kicks got harder and I knew I’d suffer some broken bones after this, then the leader grabbed my head and raised his fist, the fist connected with my head and finally I slipped into oblivion.

I woke and realized I was back in the infirmary once more and couldn’t eve move, one of my arms was cuffed to the metal hospital bed. Shit not that I could get far regardless, I moved ever so slightly and my body screamed out in pain from the numerous injuries. At least someone had left the call button in my hand so I could use it, and that’s exactly what I did. Soon someone came over to me and checked the monitor, and then finally they turned to me to see what I wanted.

“When can I get out of here?”

“Well that’s not the first question patients normally ask me, oh I’m Ray and will be looking after you until you can return to your cell, which won’t be any time soon I’m afraid.”

“How bad are the injuries?”

“You have a broken rib and severe concussion, also your face took one hell of a beating too. At some point someone will want to talk to you, they’ll want to know who did this to you?”

“I don’t know?”

“They won’t be dealt with unless you speak up.”

“Shit I never even saw it coming, never mind seeing who they were… I turned the corner and suddenly I was on my knees as someone punched me. Hell, I wouldn’t talk even if I did know who did this to me, I’d only get it again and far worse too.”

“Have it your way, I’ve upped your meds and that should help you get some rest and recover faster.”

“Can I ask you a question? It’s just I passed out and don’t even remember getting here, shit did anything else happen to me… did anyone touch me?”

“You mean in a sexual way?”

“Yeah, I have to know…”

“No, you were found within minutes as someone heard the commotion, you were also still fully dressed too.”

“Thank god, I was just afraid that… shit I’m falling apart and nothing even happened.”

“I wouldn’t call all this nothing, look just rest and make the most of your time here.”

“Yeah okay.”

I was left alone and spent a week in that fuckin room until I thought I’d go mad, each day I was made to move around so that my rib would heal faster and I’d be able to leave. I could still remember the first time I saw my face in the mirror, shit I looked like some hideous monster and I was disgusted by my own reflection. My face was covered in purple bruises, also one of my eyes wouldn’t fully open until the swelling went down.

I’d kept my mouth shut and refused to tell the warden anything, I even claimed that no one had given me any trouble since I arrived at the prison. I was then told that I’d remain where I were for another week or so, first though I had a visitor and my lawyer wanted to see me with regards to my case. I was led into a small room with a table and two chairs, the guard then made me take a seat before cuffing me to the table. Now I had to wait a couple of minutes for my lawyer to show up, I’d never met the man or even knew how much he’d know about my case.

Nothing mattered though as I knew Spender had got the last laugh, even the best lawyer in the world couldn’t get my sorry ass out of this place. Then there was also the little matter of payment, either someone was funding this or it was some free shitty lawyer provided by the state.

The door finally opened and a tall man in his thirties entered the room, one look and straight away I knew the suits were Armani, also that the man had money then. He turned and closed the door behind him and walked over towards the table, he even held his hand out to me as he spoke.

“I’m Mitch Latham of Latham and Watkins, I’m here to discuss your case and see how I can help you.”

“Yeah right, I think I’m well beyond any help now.”

“Well try to think positive Alex.”

“First I need you to answer a couple of questions if that’s okay?”

“Please go ahead and ask.”

“First, I know you work for a reputable firm and I want to know who’s picking up the bill?”

“Okay that’s a fair question, I’m working for and getting paid from a federal agent. If you give me a minute, I’ll get you his details and badge number.”

“Why, I’m guessing it’s Fox Mulder.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

I realized Mulder was still involved then and that must be what’s pissing Luis off, personally I couldn’t understand why he was still bothering when there was no evidence out there. Well okay there was evidence, just not the kind that would do me any favours.

“Alex you said you had a couple of questions…”

“Yeah, I want to know why you’re even bothering when they have enough evidence to sink me?”

“I will be trying to get them to reduce the sentence to manslaughter, considering the bodies were destroyed and no one really documented anything with regards to them.”

“So how long would I get for manslaughter?”

“Four of the bodies were mostly hearsay as no DNA was found, however that would leave the two adults and twin girls. You would be in here for most if not all of your life Alex, you cut their throats and also raped them. Any jury will push for the maximum penalty, especially considering two of the victims were children”

“So, the whole court case is just a formality and basically I’m fucked…”

“Unless we come up with some evidence, which Agent Mulder is still working on as we speak.”

“Maybe Mulder should just drop it then, it’s obvious that I’m not getting out of here alive.”

“You could try changing your plea Alex.”

“What do you mean?”

“Plead guilty, we can say that you were under the influence or some drug. I could try and claim diminished responsibility, you got hold of some bad drugs and remember nothing that occurred inside that house.”

“And you think that could work?”

“It could help get your sentence severely reduced.”

“Can I have time to think about all of this?”

“Yes, I’ll call back in a few days and see what you’ve decided.”

“Thanks, oh there’s just one more thing.”

“What would that be?”

“Can you arrange for Agent Mulder to come to the prison and see me.”

“I’ll arrange it as soon as I’m back in my office, I’m sure he’ll be glad to pay you a visit Alex.”

I was returned to the hospital and straight away I noticed the note on my bed, great another warning from Carl. I did as Luis wanted and got Agent Mulder off his back, that or next time I would suffer far worse. Great now I would have to convince Mulder to drop it, oh and somehow let Carl know that I would be seeing Mulder soon.

The hospital was doing my head in, I was the type of person that preferred to be working and kept busy. Now I just sat here with way too much time on my hands, all that did was allow me to think and wallow in my own self pity. Everything that my lawyer said kept going around and around in my head, how the hell could I plead guilty to something as sick and horrendous as murdering that family. Nothing changed no matter what, at the end of the day I’d be in this hell hole, yet I knew I still had to face Mulder and his opinions.

It was over a month and I’d seen nothing of the man that I loved, and I so wished I didn’t have to see him either. At least in here I was left alone and no one bothered me, yet I only had a couple more days and I’d be returning to my own cell. I just hoped that Mulder would listen to me and Luis would leave me the hell alone too, maybe I should have done away with him too years ago when I had the chance.

I was allowed to do mild exercise and for that I was thankful, they did offer me the chance to watch television or even read, yet I refused it all. Mainly it was because my mind wouldn’t focus on anything now, I was jumpy and even watching my back when I knew I was reasonably safe. How the hell would I cope when I was back with all the other inmates, as they always managed to find the opportunity to get me in one way or another.

I’d be back in the kitchens and worked late, the trouble was Luis had certain guards in his pocket and they’d walk away while Carl got people to attack me. Then there were the showers, shit that day they’d nearly killed me and maybe would have if someone hadn’t complained about the noise.

I knew that I was overthinking and just seeing the worst case scenarios everywhere I looked, maybe I could find a way to end my life without any of them knowing until it was too late. My biggest worry would be Mulder and how he would cope if I managed to do it, how he’d feel to be told that I was dead and he’d never see me again. Shit I was really fucked up now and just depressing myself even more as time wore on, yet for some reason I was struggling to claw my way back now.

Then the day finally came that I was to have my visitor, I’d refused to see anyone in all the time I’d been here except for my lawyer. Now here I were knowing that it would be Mulder waiting for me inside that room and I couldn’t back out, it was the pressure from Luis and everyone else that forced me to go ahead with this meeting.

A guard came to the hospital and collected me, it pissed me off that he seemed rather smug about something and kept grinning at me. Any other time and I’d have wiped that grin clean from his face, however here wasn’t the time or place to try something like that.

“So, are you looking forward to your visit Alex?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I see you managed to keep a few things from the other inmates, mainly with regards to your love life.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, especially as I don’t even have a lover.”

“So that’s why your meeting some good looking man, I have to admit I was surprised that a prisoner would have a fed for a lover though.”

“He’s not my lover…”

We reached the guard that would take me to see Mulder, yet the rooms down here appeared different from when I met my lawyer. Then the first guard whispered something to the other and they both started laughing about whatever was said.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, you will have a maximum of two hours with your partner. However, you can leave the room sooner if the visit doesn’t go as you wish, also the guard can end your time together if things get violent in any way. Also, you will be searched after your time together, do you understand all of this?”

“Yeah, I just don’t understand why the meeting is so different from the one I had with my lawyer…”

“Did you have sex with your lawyer?”

“Of course I didn’t…”

“Exactly, conjugal visits are more private and that’s why you get longer together.”

“I’m well aware of what conjugal rights are, I just don’t understand how someone could do this when it has to be my choice.”

“Hey, I just get handed a list of names and nothing more, if you don’t want anything to happen make that clear to your visitor at the start.”

“Yeah whatever.”

I was well aware that this visit had to go ahead, that was the only way I could get everyone of my back and leave me alone. Also, it wasn’t like I could blame it on Mulder, the request had to be made in the prison by the prisoner. So that meant someone in here had requested this without my knowledge, someone who knew that we were lovers before I came here.

Well that was something that I’d have to deal with later, first I had to face Mulder who’d believe it was me that had requested this. The guard led me down a small corridor to a door that stood open at the end, he then waited until I walked in before locking the door behind me. Mulder looked up and was off the chair within seconds, then my resolve broke and I fell apart as he hugged me tight in his arms.

“God I’ve missed you so much Alex, I couldn’t believe it when the lawyer told me that you wanted to see me. I guess I wasn’t expecting this though, at first I thought it might be far too risky as I’m a federal agent.”

“Fox… Look Mulder it’s not what you think.”

“What do you mean Alex?”

“I wanted to see you; however, I didn’t arrange any of this.”

“Hey, it’s okay and I can understand why you wouldn’t want to, I’m just glad that you still wanted to see me.”

“God how do I say this without offending you Mulder…”

“Look if you’ve something to say Alex just say it!”

“I didn’t want to see you, I had to see you Mulder. You see there’s a difference and I hope you can understand that.”

“I’m not sure I can…”

“I didn’t want to see you because it hurts so much, it stirs up so many memories and I can’t live with the pain after you’ve gone again.”

“That’s why we have to try and find a way to get you out of here Alex, the lawyer told me about what happened and what he thinks you should do.”

“That’s the reason why I had to see you Mulder, Luis Cardinale has a long reach and has many people under his thumb including people in here. I’m talking prison guards as well as the prisoners Mulder, can you see the bruises that are now fading?”

“Yeah I can see them Alex.”

“Well they didn’t look like that a couple of weeks ago Mulder, they jumped me and beat me up which also resulted in a broken rib.”

“Why, Luis has you in prison and you can’t do anything so what’s the point?”

“No I can’t do anything Mulder, however you can. Luis knows that you’re still looking into this and haven’t given up, so my beating was meant to be a warning to you.”

“Shit, I guess that I’ll have to be more careful then.”

“You don’t get it do you Mulder…”

“What?”

“This was just a warning, next time it will be far worse and I’ll suffer a hell of a lot more.”

“Jesus please don’t do anything stupid Alex.”

“Mulder I may be suicidal but I won’t die like that, Luis wants me to stay alive and suffer many years of hell and abuse before I die. Do you know he has people who constantly watch me, their job is to make sure I don’t commit suicide?”

“So, if I drop it you won’t get beat up or hurt?”

“Well not because of Luis, however I can’t speak for all the inmates in here.”

“But it will mean you spending the rest of your life in here Alex?”

“Yeah I’m afraid so.”

“How can you sit there and make it all sound so casual, like you don’t give a fuck anymore as to what happens to you?”

“Maybe because I don’t have a choice Mulder.”

“You don’t know that; things might change when you plead guilty Alex.”

“I’m not pleading guilty…”

“You’re not what?”

“You heard me Mulder.”

“Are you fuckin stupid, you’ll be in here for the rest of your life…”

“I’ll be in here for the rest of my life regardless Mulder, also I’m not pleading guilty to something so fuckin horrendous as that.”

“Alex…”

“No Mulder this is my decision to make and not yours, can you honestly sit there and tell me you have something that will get me off?”

“No, shit you know I haven’t.”

“Yet I’ll be the one that suffers if you don’t drop this Mulder, that’s why you have to leave it well alone. They won’t let me kill myself, however they have no problem beating me up or breaking my fuckin bones…”

“Shit I’m so sorry Alex…”

“I don’t want apologies; I just want you to promise that you’ll drop it.”

“I don’t have a choice do I Alex, I don’t want to be the one responsible for seeing you get hurt like that.”

“Thank you, there’s just one other thing I want you to promise me too Mulder.”

“What’s that?”

“I want us to go back to the way we were when I left the hospital, I want you to walk out of here and forget all about me.”

“Alex you can’t expect me to do that.”

“Yes, I can, also I don’t want you at my trial either Mulder.”

“So, what are you saying Alex, all this that we suffered was for nothing…”

“Yeah pretty much, I should have known years ago that I’d never have a chance at a real life. Your young Mulder and can move on and find someone else, this is my life now.”

“I don’t know if I can…”

“Look this is something you have to do; I can’t take any more beatings Mulder.”

“Okay I’ll try for you Alex; can I ask a favour of you in return?”

“Yeah go for it.”

“Can I just hold you once more before I leave?”

“Yeah I’d like that Mulder.”

Mulder came around the table and held his arms out towards me, and without any second thought I moved and let him embrace me. I clung to the man like he was my lifeline and my very life depended on him, well in some ways I guess it did. Without Mulder what was the point to any of this and carrying on, all I would need were a few minutes and a way to end my life.

“Alex talk to me.”

“What?”

“I asked you what you’re thinking about?”

“This place I guess, how I’m going to miss you when you leave here.”

“Hey, it works two ways babe.”

“I think it’s time you left Fox, please before it becomes any harder.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah…”

I pressed a button and within seconds a guard was in the room, Mulder made some excuse and said he had to leave straight away as it was urgent. The man then turned his tear stained face away from me and walked out of the room, now I was left to hold myself together until the guard returned me to the hospital.

“Was he not in the mood then, or was it you that he no longer wanted?”

It took a minute for the guards’ words to sink in, well I suppose we’d had two hours and it had ended in half an hour. Personally, I didn’t give a fuck about the guard or what he thought, I’d swear he was one of the ones that worked for Luis anyway. Good, he could report back to him that Mulder had come and I’d warned him off.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, the visit went the way I wanted and that was all that mattered.”

“Yeah I guess it’s hard trying to stay alive in here, especially when you have so many enemies that want to see you suffer.”

“Staying alive doesn’t bother me and they know that.”

“Well you know the rules Alex, face the wall and spread your legs.”

I hated this and it was as humiliating as hell, especially as he pulled down my pants and I had to wait while he put a glove on. Then I nearly jumped as he forced a finger far deeper than normal inside my ass, the bastard even moved it around and pressed against my prostate. He then casually slapped my backside and told me to re dress, it was as if what he did was all part of the job.

“Well let’s get you back so you can make the most of it, three days and you’ll be returning to your cell.”

Hopefully Mulder would listen and I’d no longer suffer any beatings, going back to my cell should just be a formality and I’d be able to return to work and things should settle down somewhat.

My time in the hospital was really dragging and the boredom had set in, and all it did was allow me time to think of my last time with Fox. I’ll never forget the moment he turned his back on me and walked away for good, that was why I had to find something that could keep me busy.

Finally, I was returned to my cell and nobody seemed to bother me at all, I guess the message had got around that Mulder was no longer pursuing the case and Luis had got what he wanted. I would rot away in here and this was to be my life from now on, it still broke my heart knowing Mulder was out there and I would never see him again.

My lawyer returned a couple more times to try and get me to change my mind, then on the last visit he informed me that a court date was set and how I would be transferred beforehand. I knew that it would be short if I were pleading guilty, it would just be a matter of the judge reading out my sentence. Not that I planned to worry about any of that as it was still a few months away, also I knew nothing would change and I’d still be stuck in here.

The work in the kitchen was hard and kept me busy, there were also a couple of men here that seemed okay with me as long as I caused them no trouble. I still had to watch my back though, at the end of the day I was suspected of murdering innocent people including children. Some of the prisoners made little comments as they passed and I handled them, the worst were when they accused me of raping and murdering the small children.

I never retaliated and tried my best to keep my head down and stay out of trouble, yet some of the prisoners just wanted a reaction from me and kept pushing me. I had a feeling that one day I might be left with no choice but to fight back, that or I could just let them kill me and then all of this would be well and truly over with.

One day a couple of the main bullies were found dead in the exercise room, at first I was worried that I’d get the blame after the run ins we’d had and was thankful that I was elsewhere. They were killed while I was on duty in the kitchen with plenty of witnesses, no one was talking at first then word started to spread as it does inside a prison. Finally, it was Carl that stopped me and said he wanted to talk to me, I didn’t like it but had very little choice if I wanted to get out of this pain free.

“What do you want Carl?”

“I just wanted to let you know that you’ll have no more problems, you must have known what those men had planned for you?”

“I try not to think about things like that.”

“Yeah Luis said you wouldn’t be bothered if they killed you, he said you would welcome it so that you could be free from him.”

“Yeah well that’s up to me, it’s my choice whether I fight back or just let them do it.”

“Is that what you really think?”

“It’s what I know…”

“Luis owns your ass Krycek, only he gets to say if you live or die and right now he wants you alive.”

“Luis can go to hell; he can’t kill off every prisoner in here or stop me from fighting back.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Just get the hell out of my way.”

“We can still hurt you Alex.”

“What, is that after you go and ask Luis for his permission to hurt what’s his?”

“Just don’t push me.”

“Is that all?”

“For now.”

“Good as I have things to do.”

I walked away without another word, Carl knew I was right and Luis couldn’t take on the whole prison. I thought this over and realized I might have a plan after all, a way to finally be free of this place. So that was what I did, outwards the guards saw me as a model prisoner that did as ordered and stayed out of trouble. This worked far better than I thought and that was the way I wanted it, neither the guards nor prisoners had anything on me to report back to Luis with.

That was how no one suspected a thing when I started doing small things to annoy the other prisoners, at first it was just small things that they’d just brush off like name calling. I’d make simple little remarks towards the prisoners that had fairly short tempered and knew it was only a matter of time. I’d have to work it so that someone would attack me while Carl was elsewhere, also I wanted no rumours getting back to Luis either.

There was one man that worked in the kitchen that I saw most days and he had a nasty temper at times, So I’d deliberately bump into him or drop things in the hope of him getting mad, then finally the day came that it happened and it all went to hell.

I’d deliberately annoyed him all day to the point of pissing him off, then he finally snapped and grabbed a knife that was on the side. Within seconds I was slammed hard against the wall and pinned there, as he pressed the knife against my throat.

“Move if you fuckin dare, you’ve pushed me for weeks now and deserve this.”

“Just fuckin do it then…”

I noticed a couple of guards were not far behind the large man, I’m also guessing that he sensed them there too as he spun me around. Now we were both facing the guards and he had his back against the wall, I was in front of him with my back pressed against his chest and couldn’t move. He still had the knife pressed against my throat and the guards were afraid to move.

“Come near us and he will die.”

“And what if he does, he’s a prisoner and a child killer? However, the minute his body hits the floor yours will follow as you can’t take us all on with just a knife.”

“Fuck you all, maybe I don’t give a shit if you kill me…”

I watched as one of the guards held his gun level with the other prisoner’s head and aimed, fuck now I was really starting to panic and knew this might not go as planned. What if he cut my throat and it didn’t kill me? Shit I could be left bleeding to death, a slow fuckin painful death at that.

“Put the knife down and let the prisoner go.”

“I can’t do that.”

It all happened in slow motion and the guard fired, one bullet and I collapsed to the ground as the man released his grip on me. I didn’t even have the energy to get up anymore, oh and for some reason I was suddenly really cold. Then I felt someone hold me and I could hear people shouting, not long after that I remembered nothing.

Sometime later I woke on a hospital bed to find out I was still alive, the wound to my neck was only superficial and I’d lost some blood. Now though I was already on my way back to my cell as the damage wasn’t life threatening, a couple of stiches and rest and I was good to go. I had to know what had happened to the prisoner that held the knife to my throat, part of me didn’t really want to know as this was all my fault and I provoked him.

The guard informed me that the prisoner had died from a single shot to the head, I was pissed off because it should have been me that had died and not him. Also, now I had another death on my conscience too, and yes despite what people think about me I do have a conscience and are only human.

My biggest problem now was the depression, most people got by because they had something to look forward to. I had to face the fact that I had nothing left in life worth living for, shit and then I even fucked up the death part too. Now I became moody and bad tempered with everyone around me, nor was it even an act this time on my part.

Most of the prisoners tried to avoid me now and only dealt with me if it were necessary, even in the kitchen I was left to work alone as no one wanted to be paired with me. In the end they put me on rubbish detail as that was a one man job, it just meant longer hours than usual. I would stay for half an hour after the kitchen was cleaned and finished, that time was spent making sure the garbage was cleaned up and not left for the rats.

I knew there was a time once when Fox would have said it was the perfect job for a rat like me, and I’d feel at home living with the rats. Personally, I liked working away from the others, also afterwards I’d get to use the shower alone too. Now though a guard would have to make sure no one was inside, and then afterwards he’d stand at the door until I was finished.

The depression started to become a problem though, I was sinking into a big black hole and this time I felt there was no way back out of it. I guess it was the work that had kept my mind partially occupied, then there came a time I no longer even had that anymore.

I was good at what I did and was far from lazy, I guess I’d lived my life with things to do and places to go. There was a new prisoner and he took an instant dislike to me for some reason, he started working in the kitchens and always ended up working the late shifts that I was on. Apparently, his name was Tom and he had a reputation out on the streets for causing trouble.

I only spoke to any of the prisoners if the need arose, yet he claimed that I was singling him out and that I thought myself better than him. The first attack had come totally by surprise and I wasn’t prepared for it, Tom had brought some bags out for me to deal with and told me what he thought of me. I ignored him and didn’t want any trouble, and then the bastard punched me in the stomach and casually walked back inside.

Each night he would hit me where no one would see the bruises, yet I’d become far too depressed to even fight back or care what happened to me. Then one night he actually bothered speaking to me, yet all he wanted to do was wind me up and get me to fight back.

“Hey Krycek, are you actually all there?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Come on man, fight back and make it worth my time.”

“Fuck off…”

“Oh, so there is some fight in there? Make it worth my time or I might have to end our little meetings.”

“Please yourself, just leave me the hell alone.”

“Where would the fun be in that?”

“Look I’m not in the mood.”

“Well rumour has it that your untouchable, so is that true Krycek?”

“How about you touch me and find out.”

“Come on then.”

Suddenly I was shoved hard against the large garbage container, not that I cared anymore as I wanted to die and for the fuckin constant headache to leave me alone. I thought maybe he’d finish what he started, yet he just smiled at me and spoke before walking away.

“You’ll keep, when I’m ready you won’t even see me coming.”

“Yeah whatever.”

I pulled myself back up and got on with the job at hand, I worked and got it all done despite my clothes hid many bruises. In the shower though there was no hiding them, I ran my fingers along them and thought back to the past and the man I once was.

There was a time when I’d have hit someone just for looking at me the wrong way, someone like this Tom would have gone down the first time he’d touched me too. Now though they all thought that I was soft and just a push over, yeah well I guess they were right about that too.

In the past I felt alive and free to do as I wanted, admittingly not all of it was honest legal work either. Then there was always Fox, he was always there and it didn’t matter at the time that I thought he hated me. I guess in here everything you did was because someone else told you to do it, there was no freedom and it was like you were nothing more than an animal. Shit maybe I should wake the fuck up, as an animal is all I am to the people in here.

A couple of nights passed and Tom had left me alone, not that it mattered as I still had the depression to deal with and that was enough. It was a Thursday and I was kept busy tonight; the garbage went out on Fridays and it had to all be ready before I could leave for the night. I had to work hard as the bags just kept on coming, also I was getting slower now as my body ached like hell. I think Tom had known that I’d be tired if he left me alone until later, I’d just put a couple of bags in the container when he walked in carrying a couple more.

“You’re looking a little worn out there Alex.”

“What the hell do you expect when you can’t keep your fists to yourself.”

“Hey that was just harmless play fighting, maybe I like you Alex and want that ass to be mine.”

“Go to hell as that won’t ever happen.”

“Never say never Alex.”

“Go to hell…”

I never even managed to finish what I was saying, Tom shoved me into the large metal garbage bin and soon had me pinned down on the dirty ground, he then bent my arm back and started pulling my pants and boxers down. I knew what he wanted and I knew what was about to happen, yet I no longer cared or had the strength to fight him anymore. Maybe I deserved this after everything I’d done, I tried to shut myself down emotionally and prayed it would all be over soon.

Tom never even managed to remove his own clothes, suddenly there were some guards in there and they were pulling him off me. Then I felt someone grab my hand and tell me to stand up and get dressed, we were both then ordered to stand apart.

“Right would one of you care to explain what’s going on here?”

I just stood looking at the floor, I couldn’t deal with any of this right now nor did I care if they punished me. Tom was different though, straight away he started putting all the blame on me.

“I was just bringing some bags in here; he was the one that attacked me and I managed to get one up on him.”

“How did he attack you?”

“Alex has a knife that he keeps down here, he threatened to rape me and I fought back, Shit I guess I decided to do it to him instead, I wanted to teach him a lesson for pulling a knife on me.”

“So where is this knife now?”

“You’ll find it under the garbage container.”

I watched as the guard went to look, sure enough he pulled out a small penknife and flicked it open. The bastard had well and truly set me up whilst keeping himself safe, and it did make me wonder if he’d have used the knife on me if I’d fought back.

“I think it will be up to the warden what happens to the pair of you.”

“Do you have anything to say with regards to the knife Krycek?”

“It’s not mine and I’ve never seen it before.”

“They all say that, come on both of you get moving.”

We were both made to wait outside the warden’s office while one of the guards went inside, soon though we were both ordered to go in and stand in front of the wardens’ desk. The warden was a man in his late fifties, small and overweight. He never had much to say to any of the prisoners either, he just liked dishing out punishment to anyone who upset the flow of his prison.

“Right I’ve been informed about the outburst that occurred in the kitchens, also as to who the ringleader was and the one who had the knife. Tom you’ll be confined to your cell for one week, that means no luxuries or even any visitors.”

“Yes Sir.”

The warden ordered one of the guards to return Tom to his cell, he then sat behind his large desk watching me with his arms folded. I was afraid to speak and was becoming more anxious as the seconds past, not that I could do much with the guard breathing down my neck.

“Okay Alex I think it’s time we dealt with you, as this isn’t the first time you’ve brought trouble to my prison. One man took you hostage and paid the price of that with his life, I sometimes think there’s more to that story than what you say.”

“I didn’t do anything to that man, and I never did anything to Tom either.”

“So, I take it the knife just magically appeared then?”

“It must belong to Tom; he knew it was there and most likely would have used it on me if I’d fought back.”

“Hmm and that’s another thing that I find rather odd with regards to your behaviour, you say that he was trying to rape you and hurt you. People fight back Alex when someone tries to hurt them like that, yet according to my officers you just lay there and was willing to let him do it.”

“It wasn’t like that…”

“Maybe you threatened him and wanted him to do it, for all I know you might get off on things like that.”

“No I don’t, you know fuck all about me…”

“I know that you’ve just earnt a week in solitary confinement.”

“You can’t do that!”

“I just did, maybe it will give you some time to think about your place within this prison Alex.”

“Please don’t do this…

“Get him out of here.”

With that the guard pushed me out of the room, he then led me down some stairs and away from the main part of the prison. In front of me was a row of metal doors with a tiny window in each one, then the guard opened the closest door and shoved me inside before locking the door behind me. I took one look around the tiny room and started to have a panic attack, shit how the hell could I survive in a room that was this small.

There was a small single bed on one wall, then at the end of the bed was a small sink and a toilet. I’d say the room was about eight foot by four foot, let’s just say there was very little room left when you considered how much the furniture took up. This was all new to me and I had no idea how the hell I’d survive a week down here, how the hell do you cope with nothing at all to do other than sit on a bed.

I was already suffering severe depression and had kept it to myself, I knew without any thing to keep my mind busy it would eat away at me until it finally destroyed me. I was angry too, and it didn’t help that I wanted to take that anger out on something and smash things up. I guess they knew the prisoners would lose it trapped down here, especially as everything was fastened to the fuckin floor.

I threw myself down on the bed and wasn’t coping at all, as time passed, I gradually became worse and started talking to myself so I didn’t feel so alone. It was as if the walls were closing in on me and would eventually crush me when they met, yet all I could do was sit on the bed and wait to see if it happened, I’d also started biting my nails now and my fingers were all bloody too.

They did take me out for one hour a day, in that time I was meant to exercise and take a cold shower before returning to hell. After a couple of days they gave up on that idea, maybe because they realized that I was too weak to keep up with the exercise and their demands. Well I guess it didn’t help that I was now refusing to even eat, every plate went back to the kitchens untouched.

I figured time would go faster if I had no energy, I guess the plan was to spend most of my time down here asleep and out of it all. Now though I was starting to lose weight and must have looked really sick too, I also had this feeling that a week must have passed by now and asked the guard how long I had left. Apparently, I’d already done nine days in this tiny fuckin room, this couldn’t be right as I was only meant to be here for seven days.

The guard said he’d look into it, well it turned out the bastards had added another week to my time in here, they said it was because of my refusal to eat the meals they provided. Not that any of that mattered now anyway, I knew that legally they couldn’t keep me here longer than fifteen days. That meant they could all fuck off as I wouldn’t be following their rules anymore, five days more and I’d finally be out of here.

Deep down I was scared that I fell apart in the remaining days, I was already struggling to keep a lid on my emotions as it was. I was struggling to remember basic things too, well apart from all the negative things that is. Then there was the paranoia too, I was becoming so paranoid and believed that everyone was out to get me. Yet despite all my suffering there was one thing that scared me more than all the rest put together, I was starting to hallucinate and I couldn’t distinguish what was real anymore.

Now even the walls appeared black to me and I watched as the oil ran down the walls towards the floor, yet all I could do was sit on the edge of the bed and wait for it to come. I couldn’t touch the floor, also I was afraid to lay down because I was afraid I’d fall asleep. If I were asleep the oil would consume me and it terrified me, I wasn’t afraid of death per say, I was afraid the alien would take control of my body like last time.

My cell door opened and I didn’t even move or register the voice that was shouting at me, they were all bad and wanted the oil to get me so they could return me to Spender. Yet I knew that Spender would take me back to that silo and let the alien use me, shit then suddenly I had a vision of Spender in bed with a bullet hole in his head.

Everything changed once more and this time I saw myself it that same bed with the cancerous bastard, without even thinking I lunged at the man in the door way and knocked him to the floor. My only concern was stopping them taking me back to Spender, fuck then suddenly my body was in agony as the guard used his taser on me.

Rough hands grabbed me and I was soon facing the cold floor, shit then they restrained my hands and I was dragged to my feet and forced to stand between the two guards. Then I were the one that was doing all the shouting, I couldn’t just give up and let them take me away without a fight.

“Get your fuckin hands off me, I won’t go and you won’t make me… You can’t take me back to him now, he’s dead and I killed him!”

“Krycek quieten down or I’ll have you sedated.”

“Fuck you…”

“Right I’ve had enough of this.”

The bastard tasered me again and dragged me towards a chair in the corridor and forced me to sit down, shit then everything changed and I suddenly realized were I was. This was the first time I’d left that room in nearly two weeks, maybe they wouldn’t put me back in there if I behaved and didn’t fight them.

“Krycek look at me.”

I looked up and realized the guard was knelt in front of me, he was also watching every move I made and was waiting for me to fight him again.

“I need you to listen to me and listen good, no one is here to hurt you. Do you understand me? Look just take a few breaths and stay here until you calm down.”

“So, you’re not here to take me to Spender?”

“I’ve no idea who Spender even is, we only wanted to move you so someone could wash the cell down before you become sick. You’ve being running a temperature and we need to sanitize it.”

“Will you be putting me back in there?”

“You only have two more days and then you’ll be out, after that that you’ll need checking out as you’ve hardly ate anything for days now.”

“Please I can’t go back in there, the oil… oh god it will get me if you put me back in there.”

“Look we’ll get the cell cleaned and take it from there.”

The guard watched over me as a couple of prisoners came in to clean my cell, while all I could do was wait and pray they’d take me back to my old cell afterwards. The cell was thoroughly cleaned and one of the guards checked it over, then the cleaners were ordered to leave so it was just myself and the guards once more.

“Right Krycek let’s get you back in your cell, maybe we can arrange for someone to get you something to eat.”

“I won’t go back in there…”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

“Well I won’t go willingly.”

The guard pulled out his taser once more and used it on me, then both of the guards dragged me into the small cell and shoved me onto the bed. My hands were still restrained behind my back and I was also really weak now, I guess the taser had finally done a number on me. One of the guards told the other to go get me a bottle of water as I was becoming de hydrated, now I was left with just this one guard and that made me feel nervous.

All I could do was watch as he pulled something out of his pocket, shit then suddenly he grabbed my jaw hard and forced my mouth open and shoved something in it. I felt something in my throat and had no choice but to swallow it, well if it killed me so be it as I’d be better off dead anyway.

“What did you give me?”

“Something that will make your final days in this cell a bit easier.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Just because I’m a prison guard doesn’t mean I believe in everything they do, I trained to be a psychologist but dropped out after the first year. This isn’t the way to deal with people no matter what they’ve done, Jesus and they wonder why the hell you’re hallucinating and going mad down here.”

“Thank you.”

“Just lay still and I’ll remove the cuffs, soon you’ll feel a lot better than you do now.”

The guard removed the cuffs and I was in the room alone once more, his comment about a psychologist made me think of Fox and what he’d think of treating people in this way. God how I missed him so much and it hurt, yet I wouldn’t give away the memories or the time that I’d got to spend with him. I still could remember when I thought Fox Mulder would never be anything more than a fantasy, I was the idiot for believing I could keep him.

I drifted in and out of sleep, this time the dreams were rather pleasant compared to last time and it helped me to relax more. I woke up later and even felt happier despite the fact I was still stuck down here in this cell, now I seemed to sleep a lot more though and the time moved faster this way.

Soon I had a guard telling me I’d be out of here within six hours, great I was happy to be going back to my cell and all the other prisoners that could hurt me. Hell maybe I had gone mad after all, also I wondered how happy I would be if they ever told me I could leave the prison. Well I knew there would never be the chance of that happening in my lifetime, so it looked like I’d have to make do with leaving solitary and returning to what is my life now.

I knew this was one place I never wanted to see again as long as I remained in prison, that would mean staying out of trouble and avoiding others that could get me sent back down here. It wouldn’t be totally plain sailing though once I left here, I was still paranoid about everything I tried to rationalize everything and tell myself none of this was real. I guess the mind could be a very powerful thing, it was just a shame mine seemed to be set on self destruction right now.

Finally the guards came and prepared to take me to my own cell, I had to admit I felt rather anxious as I walked along the corridors. We then entered my cell block and the paranoia started to overwhelm me and I fell to my knees, and I was so thankful that the guard helped me back up onto my feet again.

“A couple of minutes and we’ll be in the main block with the other prisoners, you need to pull yourself together and not let any of them see your weaknesses.”

“I’ll try…”

“You will need time to re adjust and they’ll see that as an advantage for them.”

“I just want to get back to my own cell and stay there for a while, maybe then I might find it a bit easier.”

“Well the warden plans to give you a couple of days to re acquaint yourself with the place, then he wants to know if you want your old kitchen job back.”

“I’ll need to do something or I’ll go mad.”

“Right here we are, everyone’s in the exercise yard so that gives you a bit of time to sort yourself out.”

“Yeah okay.”

The guard locked my cell and left me to settle in, I kept thinking everything would have changed and everyone would be different. Then I realized that I was only gone for two weeks, also I’m the one that changed in that time and not them. The question was whether I’d fit back in, that or would everyone just see me as some pushover now.

Well I decided I should re arrange my stuff and sort my bed out with the clean sheets that were folded on it. I opened the first sheet and saw the small piece of paper that fell to fluttered down onto the floor. I picked it up and unfolded the note, straight away I realized that it was from Carl and that meant only one thing, Luis Cardinale.

Great the note was to warn me that Luis was pissed off with me, apparently, he believed I’d caused trouble believing solitary would save me from him and what he intended to do to me. Shit he then went on to warn me how I’d suffer if I end up going back in there, also he’d make sure Mulder suffered too so that I’d learnt my lesson.

Well it would appear that Luis hadn’t become bored with me yet or with his little games, not that it mattered as he knew I’d do what he said just to protect Mulder. Farther down in the note it explained what he’d do to Mulder if I stepped out of line, first he would beat him and break a few bones, then it also went on to say how he’d abuse him and make him regret ever knowing me.

So, I toe the line or Luis makes Mulder believe it’s all my fault, that he’d get hurt because I refused to take orders and protect him. Now I just had to hope I could stop that from happening, some in here would be quite happy to see me sent back to solitary confinement.

I soon settled back into my old routine and no one bothered me, even Tom stayed away from me and never mentioned the whole knife incident again. Everyone knew that I’d changed though, especially my cell mate. How the hell could he not notice when he was the one locked away with me every night, there were some nights that the nightmares came and even woke me up. There were also times when I’d woke up screaming and half the prisoners yelled at me to shut the hell up.

Some days I was exhausted and even the kitchen work would take its toll on me, especially after the nights I’d refused to even sleep at all. Those nights were the ones where I believed the oil was coming for me during the night, then it would take me out of here and the other prisoners would beat me to death. In the end I was given a choice between the hospital or sedation, I chose the sedation as I didn’t want Mulder to get hurt because I was fucked up and having nightmares.

That meant every night they gave me sleeping pills so everyone else could get some sleep, also so I didn’t piss all the night shift off too. I guess most people would be worried if they were out of it like that, however I was safe from any harm from my cell mate unless Luis said different.

My lawyer came once more to say my court date had changed, now I would be waiting another month until my trial started, to be honest I wish he’d stop coming to the prison as nothing would change now. Nobody touched me and I liked it that way, I guess after my trip to solitary I’d finally accepted that I couldn’t change what would be anyway.

I guess to a certain degree I’d let my guard down and thought I were untouchable, all I had to do was keep Mulder away from the case and my trial. Maybe that was why I hadn’t expected things to change so fast either, it was just routine time out in the yard and I was sat alone when they grabbed me. It took four of the to pull me into the far corner, also they’d planned it so that some of the other prisoners would block the view from the guards.

“You were warned Krycek and brought this on yourself.”

“What, I haven’t done anything…”

“You should have kept that lover of yours on the right path, Luis told you what would happen if you crossed him again.”

“I told Mulder; shit I haven’t seen him for weeks…”

Two of the men held me against the wall and made sure I couldn’t move, then Carl punched me full on in the stomach twice and I just hung there. Now I prayed that it was just a warning and the punishment was over, yeah right like that would be enough for the likes of them. Carl lifted my head and his fist connected with my jaw, now my top was covered in blood as my lip split open from the impact.

“You’d better get in touch with Mulder and warn him again, Luis is losing his patience and things will only get worse for you.”

“God, I swear I’ll tell him.”

Talking wasn’t easy as my lip was already swollen, also I was amazed he hadn’t broken my jaw considering the force he’d used. Then the bastards just let go of me and I fell to my knees on the hard concrete, and that was where I remained right until the end of the exercise period. The whistle went and we were all ordered to line up ready to go inside, I knew I had to move no matter how excruciating the pain was in my stomach.

I walked slowly and tried not to draw any unwanted attention to myself, I wasn’t willing to name names or end up back in solitary because of what they did. However, the lip was another matter though and I couldn’t hide that from the guards that watched us as we entered. Shit I knew that I’d have to think fast and come up with some excuse for the state of my mouth, that was when I looked around and saw the seat just as the guard spoke to me.

“Krycek lift your head and look at me.”

“Yes Sir.”

“What the hell happened to you?”

“I fell and caught my face on the seat back there.”

“Wait there and someone will take you to get it looked at.”

“Yeah okay.”

I was led to the medical bay and a nurse checked out my mouth, they then kept me there for an hour with an ice pack before releasing me. Finally, I returned to my cell and knew things could be dangerous now, also I hope they were aware it would take time to get a message to Mulder as I refused to speak to him on the phone.

That also meant my night time routine would have to change too now, how the hell could I take sleeping pills if they might attack me again. So, I accepted the pills and then flushed them down the toilet after the guard had left, now it meant I was also back to sleepless nights too. I just sat there on my bed watching the shadows that came out at night, I also kept a good eye on the man I shared a cell with too.

The third night I was exhausted and couldn’t stop myself from falling asleep, my mind and body were both suffering from total exhaustion now and I was past it. Then the nightmares also came too and once again no one got any sleep, so the next night the guard stood over me and made sure I swallowed the pills.

“Open your mouth Krycek, good it wasn’t hard was it.?”

“I don’t like taking them, something might happen to me while I’m asleep.”

“You share a cell with one man Krycek, so he’d have to be stupid doing something when he’s the only one we would blame.”

“I guess…”

“Look I know you’ve had some problems since you returned from solitary, I think you just need to calm down and look at everything logically don’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“Right get some sleep, hopefully everyone else can too.”

I knew the guard was right in some ways, however most of the prisoners were in here for life so what difference would one more dead body make. The next day I felt somewhat better after a good night’s sleep, then a guard came to see me and said I had a call to deal with. I knew straight away it would be Mulder and he’d use his G-man status to get what he wanted, also I wouldn’t be able to refuse the call and he knew that too.

I was led into a small room and one hand was cuffed to the table, then the guard stood outside the doorway while I took my call. At first I looked at the phone like it was some alien object, I finally picked up the phone and though so much for having no contact with Mulder whatsoever.

“Alex is that you?”

“Yeah it’s me.”

“Are you okay, I got a letter telling me to stay away from your case.”

“Yeah I sent it.”

“Why, I don’t understand.”

“Because Luis knows you’re still looking into it and they beat the shit out of me, they warned me it will get far worse too if you don’t lay off. Please Fox, if you love me just let it go.”

“I haven’t done anything Alex; I swear to you that I’ve left it alone since the day you asked me.”

“Shit, so someone must have looked and Luis thought it was you.”

“I’ll ask your lawyer and see if he knows anything, I won’t do anything that would result in someone hurting you Alex.”

“Yeah I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to apologize for Alex, please tell me what has happened to you since we last spoke.”

“You wouldn’t want to know Fox.”

“Please Alex…”

“I’m not the man I was back then Fox, solitary confinement can do that to you I guess.”

“Shit Alex, how long did they keep you there?”

“Two weeks.”

“The inhumane bastards…”

I laughed at that and thought back to what the guard had said, how his thought’s pretty much mirrored Mulders own.

“How can you laugh about it Alex?”

“The guard trained in psychology too and he thought the same way as you, he helped me though Fox and gave me something so I’d sleep.”

“So how are you different now Alex?”

“I have nightmares Fox, also sometimes I hallucinate and think everyone’s out to kill me.”

“That’s normal Alex, you just need some professional help to get you through it all.”

“I’m okay Fox.”

“Alex please think about getting some help.”

“I’ll think about it, Fox.”

“Good, I also hear that your court case is in a few weeks…”

“Yeah, I haven’t changed my mind Fox. Look I only took this call because I had to.”

“Yeah I did wonder why you wrote when a simple call would have got the point across faster.”

“I meant what I said about no contact Fox, look I have to go now anyway as I’m meant to be in the kitchens soon.”

“Alex please be careful.”

“Yeah I will.”

“I love you so much Alex.”

“Yeah I love you too Fox, however it changes nothing.”

With that I hung up before he got to say anything else, otherwise I knew Fox wouldn’t let this drop and would keep on at me. Now I was left wondering who the hell was looking into my case, also I’d have to pray Luis realized it wasn’t Fox before they made me suffer once more.

As soon as I was back in my cell I got a message to Carl, now I had to hope that he told Luis and they’d all leave me the hell alone. Once that was done, I realized the time and knew I had to move, that or I’d get into trouble for showing up at the kitchens late. The evening went by fast as there was plenty of work and I was kept busy, I also got a message from Carl saying Luis was made aware of the situation and the ball was now in his court.

Okay maybe I could just get on with things now, I’d kept my side of the bargain and had already suffered once because of someone else. Now I had to hope my lawyer could find out who was asking all the questions, and there I was thinking only Fox had an interest in me. I’m not so sure I liked the idea of someone else being interested though, or was they just making sure that I received the full sentence for murder too. 

It took another two days for my lawyer to get back in touch with me regarding my case, so far, he’d had no luck at all with the task of tracking down the person looking into my life. I just couldn’t understand it personally, he did however let me know that he’d keep working on it and get back to me in a few days to see if anything had changed.

I was just thankful that everyone was leaving me alone for now, not that it stopped me expecting the worst all the time though. I felt so lonely though as now no one even bothered talking to me, my cell mate had threatened to hit me if I so much as looked at him and worse if I spoke to him He informed me that Luis wanted me to be alone and suffer, he wanted me to have no one at all and it was tearing me apart.

I was a loner and always had been, however this type of loneliness was far worse than I thought it would be. People were constantly there and around you, yet it was as if I didn’t even exist. My work in the kitchen was all I had left to fill my time, the walls always started to close in around me on the days I had off. I knew my state of mind was as fragile as eggshells right now, and also that it wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge.

My life was pretty much ground hog day, every day I would pretty much do the same as yesterday and the same as tomorrow. Worse was realizing that knowing my luck I’d live to an old age and suffer like this for years, oh and every single day I also thought about suicide and finding a way out. I just couldn’t figure out how to do it without Luis hurting Fox, so I guess I was destined to suffer this.

I got up had breakfast and exercised, none of the other activities interested me as I knew I wouldn’t be welcome. Later I’d work and then have a shower before returning to my cell, now though even that was to change. The guard had just informed me that they were changing the rota for a few days, apparently someone was ill and I’d have to work days instead.

I hated this as there were far more people around when I worked day shift, at night all the prisoners would be in their cells by the time I’d finished in the kitchen. Well in the end I knew I had no choice and had to accept it, plus it was only for a few days so it wouldn’t be that bad.

The first day felt strange working with different people, even the guards that were here were different too. Not that it mattered as I was still ignored for the best part of my shift, that was why I just got on with the job and was ready to go for the shower at the end of my shift.

The guard came and got me, he then led me towards the shower room and waited for me to enter before following. Shit I knew something was wrong when he locked the door and I heard other voices, then a large hand grabbed me and I was slammed up against the porcelain tiles.

My head hit hard and I slid down the wall, I didn’t even have the energy to pull myself up from my sitting position and just remained where I was. I didn’t see any point fighting them anyway, I looked up and saw Carl plus three of his little followers. Great that meant I was going to get one hell of a beating as usual, and I knew my body would fail me sooner or later if he kept this up.

“Move Krycek and get on your hands and knees.”

“What?”

“Me and my boys want to have some fun and you’re the star attraction.”

“Carl please…”

Shit his fist impacted with my stomach, then he grabbed my hair and pulled me down to the floor and rolled me over. Now I lay here on the cold tiled floor, Carl even held my face down in the dirty water that still remained on the floor. The man was strong and used his weight to keep me pinned to the floor, and then I realized the other three had started removing my pants and underwear. No one had ever touched me in this way in all the time I’ve been here, I had to fight them and couldn’t let them do something like this to me.

“God please don’t do this to me…”

“Lay the fuck still, as this will happen Krycek.”

“God… Why I haven’t done anything wrong?”

“According to Luis your little friend has caused some trouble again.”

Shit Luis must still think it’s Mulder that’s doing it, that meant nothing I say or do would stop them from doing this to me. Not that knowing that changed anything, and I guess it was natural instinct and self preservation to fight back. I started struggling even more and then I felt the cold air on my exposed backside, then someone slapped my ass hard enough to hurt.

“Fuck… God get the fuck off me; I swear I’ll kill you all if you touch me.”

“Krycek… Alex take a deep breath and relax; you know it will be far easier on you if you relax and allow this to happen.”

“Fuck you Carl, fuck you all.”

“Big words for someone in your position Alex, also the only one that’s getting fucked right now is you.”

Shit then I felt as one of them roughly parted my ass cheeks, suddenly I started screaming and couldn’t stand the pain as one of them forced himself deep inside my unwilling body. Then the bastards even stopped me from screaming too, Carl clamped his hand tight over my mouth and I was even struggling to breathe now.

My ass hurt beyond belief and my lungs felt like they were on fire, yet the man just laughed as he fucked me hard. Finally, I heard him grunt and come inside me, then as soon as he moved one of the other men took his place straight away. The bastard lent forward and sank his teeth in my ass before entering me, then he slapped me once again when I tried fighting him.

“Calm down, hey look at least you’re halfway there now.”

I couldn’t even answer him if I wanted to, my whole body shuddered as the pain wracked my body and there was no end in sight. The third one was quick and came pretty much the minute he entered me, now I knew that still left Carl and chances are he’s be the worst.

“In a minute I’m going to remove my hand, scream and I will make this so painful you’ll wish you were dead.”

What a fuckin joke as I already wished that I were dead, hell I’d wished I were dead since the first day I came here. I knew though that he meant what he said about making it worse, yet I couldn’t stop the whimpering noises when he finally did remove his hand. Then suddenly I felt him behind me and he wasted no time at all as he entered me, he kept pulling all the way out causing my body to slam against the hard floor. I’d just got to the point where I’d given in and was hardly registering their actions anymore, then I realized that Carl had moved away from me and was talking to the guard. Shit then the guard casually opened the door and let all four of them walk out, soon after he turned and came over towards me.

“Come on Krycek, I need to get you dressed and back in your cell. You can report this if you want, however I would advise you against it as there’s many more painful ways to hurt you.”

“I just want to go back to my cell…”

“Good boy, maybe there’s some hope for you after all, actually hold on a minute as I just had a thought.”

The guard stepped over me and turned on the shower and the warm water covered my body, but wasn’t able to cleanse my body or soul from what they’d done to me. I couldn’t even be bothered to wash myself properly and just stood there, finally the guard switched the shower off and pulled me out.

“Come on get yourself dried and dressed.”

It took me a couple of attempts to re dress myself, my whole body was in agony and I could hardly move now as I walked to my cell. Once inside I lay on the bed and pulled the cover fully over me, maybe I could fake illness and the guards wouldn’t make me leave my cell or work for a while.

The next morning my body had practically seized up and I couldn’t get out of bed, a guard came and checked me over and said I was to stay put for a while as I had work in a few hours. No way could I go out there and work for a few hours, that was when something snapped and I looked around the cell to see what I could use to end my life. I didn’t want to hurt Fox, but I couldn’t let them hurt me again.

I knew that my cell mate had a make shift knife hidden somewhere in this cell and I was determined to find it, he made up a lot of stories but I knew it existed because he’d once shown me it when I first arrived here. So, I started with the bed and started pulling off the sheets and turning the mattress over, then finally I found a tiny hole and inside and I found what I would need to end all of this.

I went back to my own bed and sat down, I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to do and how soon this would all be over. Finally, I had the guts to roll up my sleeves and expose my wrists, and then I sat there with the blade pressed against the pulsing vein and closed my eyes. I just kept telling myself that I could do this, I also kept reminding myself of what they’d done to me and how they could easy do it again too. That was when I took a deep breath and ran the blade over my wrist, I then just sat there and waited for my life to finally slip away. My last thought was of the only person I’d ever truly loved, god I was so sorry for what this would do to him and I still loved him.

I imagined that I was with Fox and laying on the bed, then he was there willing me to live and not give up. I couldn’t die, I could hear him in the distance telling me I had to fight this and live. Then I felt him slap my face and tell me to wake up, shit and that was when I made the mistake of forcing my heavy eye lids to open.

“Come on Alex, what the fuck did you think you were doing?”

“Oh god no, why can’t you just let me die?”

“Because Luis ordered me to keep you alive, I still can’t believe you used my knife to do it though.”

I looked around and soon realized I was still in my own cell, I then also noticed that my wrist was bandaged up and that Pete was pulling my sleeve over it so it wouldn’t be seen.

“You’re lucky I came back to the cell when I did.”

“Lucky, shit I’d only be lucky if you hadn’t found me.”

“Yeah well at least the guards didn’t find you or we’d both be in trouble.”

A part of my brain just shut off and I stopped listening to him, hell I couldn’t even manage to fuckin kill myself or escape them all. There was no way out of this, Luis would keep this up to get back at Fox, and I had to find a way to make him understand that it wasn’t Fox doing it. In the end I was forced to return to work, now though they were all more careful and made sure someone was always close by and watching my every move.

They never ganged up on me again like that night in the showers, however it never ended and they still had all their fun and played their games with me. Every night after work one of them would be waiting for me in the showers, also every night I would be raped before they returned me to my cell.

The depression was taking over now and I was zoning out all the time, I guess I was functioning on auto pilot and just acted as if it wasn’t me it was happening to. I’d hidden myself far away inside my own head and refused to come out now, as there was nothing worth fighting for now and I had to make do the best I could. Nights they drugged me so I’d sleep, days I felt as if I were drugged so there wasn’t much difference really.

I wasn’t holding myself together and it was only a matter of time before I fell apart, then the guard came to see me and demanded that I sit up and listen to him. I was in a world of my own and hadn’t even heard him at first, shit maybe that was why he was pissed off with me.

“Krycek I said get up and move now!”

“Why, I’m not due at work yet?”

“You have a visitor.”

“Who is it?”

“Special Agent Fox Mulder FBI.”

“Yeah well I have rights and I don’t want to see him.”

“He’s here as an agent and you can’t refuse.”

“Yeah I bet he did that on purpose too.”

The guard led me to a small interview room and made me sit down at the table, it was all the same bullshit and now I had to sit here and wait for my visitor. I knew this was bad and Fox would see through my act, he was a trained psychologist and would recognize all the signs when he saw me. Well there was no way out of this so what could I do, that was when I heard the door open and Fox took a seat opposite me.

The door closed and the guard would wait outside, we would be able to talk freely and all Fox had to do was stay away from me. In some ways I was glad this was a no contact visit or he’d see my wrist and the bruises. That was when I realized Fox hadn’t even spoke to me yet and that meant one thing, he was watching me and his brain was working overtime. Then he spoke and my world fell apart, I guess I’d kept everything hidden for too long.

“Alex look at me…”

“Why, what do you want Fox?”

“Well I’d like you to look at me to start with, then I’d like to discuss why I came here to see you.”

I knew he wouldn’t let this drop and I’d have to face him sooner or later, well I figured it might as well be sooner so I could get this over with. I raised my head slowly until I were facing him, then all I could do was sit there as his brain calculated all the cuts and bruises on my body.

“Alex tell me what’s happened since I last saw you.”

“What can I say Fox, shit it’s s fuckin prison and the people here don’t like me.”

“Alex you look a mess.”

“Yeah well that’s what happens when four of them start on one I guess.”

“Where the hell were the guards, you’re telling me that no one stopped this?”

“Fox just drop it will you?”

“Like hell I will.”

I watched as Fox rubbed his eyes and looked at me once more, I figured the heat in here was also getting to him now too. I could see the sweat as it ran down his gorgeous face, then all I could do was watch as he removed his tie and put it inside his pocket. Did he seriously not realize what he was doing to me right now, forced to sit here as he undid the top two buttons on his shirt.

I wasn’t even thinking as my hand moved and reached out to touch him, then suddenly I realized that I wasn’t cuffed to the table as my hand touched his. It was only a light touch and he’d looked down at my hand, shit and that was when he noticed the bandage around my wrist.

“What the fuck…, this better not be what I think it is Alex.”

“Just drop it Fox…”

“Like hell I will.”

“Fox was out of his seat in seconds and came towards me, and then he whispered in my ear as he hugged me close to him. Shit he wasn’t meant to touch me and I’d suffer for this, hell just like I suffered for everything.

“Stay here Alex, I’m going to ask the guard to get the warden as I want to talk to him.”

“Fox don’t…”

“I’ll deal with it, just sit there and I won’t be long.”

Fox walked out of the room and went to talk to the guard, that was when I acted fast and grabbed the nearest chair so I could block the entrance. Soon I had the chair wedged tight under the handle and no one had even noticed yet, then I pulled the tie from up my sleeve that I’d stolen from Fox when he hugged me.

There wasn’t much in here other than the table and chairs, that was when I saw some old piping running close to the ceiling and knew it would work perfect. I dragged a chair over and climbed on it so I could reach the pipe, soon I had the tie fastened to it and was nearly done. All I had to do was tie the other end and put it around my neck.

Shit then I heard the banging on the door and knew the chair wouldn’t hold for long, I worked fast and soon had the tie fastened tight around my neck. Then I mouthed a silent apology to Fox who was at the door watching, seconds later I kicked the chair from beneath me and hung there. My hands flew to my neck and I tried to claw at the tie, I just wanted to die and had thought it would be over fast.

Then suddenly the door was kicked open and Fox was holding me up, and just as my eyes started to close and the end was near my body fell to the floor. I could hear Fox screaming at the guard to go and get some help, yet it all seemed as if it were somewhere in the distance and it was happening to someone else.

“Come on Alex stay with me, breathe Alex as I won’t let you do this to me.”

“I’m so sorry Fox.”

Shit I realized that even talking hurt my throat and I could barely talk, yet I knew I owed Fox some sort of explanation about what had happened to me in the past few weeks.

“I hurt so much Fox and I can’t live like this.”

“What the hell did they do to you Alex, what the hell happened to make you want to do this?”

“They beat me Fox and they…shit I can’t say it…”

“They what Alex? Please talk to me and let me in so I can help you.”

“Nobody can help me in here Fox, do you really want to know what they do to me? What happens to someone like me in a place like this?”

“Yes I do, I love you Alex.”

“They beat me up Fox, they ignore me and treat me like I have leprosy or something until they want something from me.”

“Shit it must be hard having no one to talk to in here.”

“That’s nothing Fox, I work hard and it keeps my mind off everything that happens in here just so I can try and stay sane. Then it all goes to hell anyway, you see they can do what they want to me because Luis says so. Shit he won’t even let me die either, they watch me and make sure I keep breathing as that’s how he wants it.”

“God, I didn’t know he had that much influence over you in here…”

“There’s four of them Fox, oh and also some of the guards are in on it too. After work I take a shower and they were waiting Fox, they were waiting to…”

“It’s okay Alex just take your time.”

“No, it’s not fuckin okay Fox, they cornered me and all four of them took it in turns and fuckin raped me…”

“Shit I don’t know what to say…”

“Don’t say anything Fox, I just want to die and that was why I cut my wrists. Each fuckin night they take it in turns and one of them is always waiting for me, oh shit I’m totally fucked now and they will really make me suffer now.”

“What are you talking about Alex?”

“They’ll find out about this and my suicide attempt, then they’ll punish me because I’m not allowed to kill myself.”

“I will talk to the warden Alex, there’s no way that you can go back amongst those men.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

Fox never got to answer as the guard returned and interrupted us, apparently Fox was to go see the warden and discuss what had just happened with him. Fox stood up and pulled me to my feet, he then spoke to the guard before he would leave me here.

“Fine I’ll go and speak to the warden; it would appear a lot goes on around here that no one sees. There are also a few other matters the warden should be made aware of too, especially regarding some of the staff and how they also work for someone else.”

“Are you trying to imply something Agent Mulder?”

“Look I’ll only discuss it with the warden, oh I also need to know what will happen with Alex in the meantime?”

“I will keep him here until I hear from the warden.”

Fox turned to me and gave me a grim smile before walking out, I looked towards the guard and could see that he was smiling and that disturbed me somewhat. I just looked away as I didn’t want any trouble right now, however he came over to me and pulled out his hand cuffs.

“Put your arms out Krycek.”

“Okay, hey where are taking me?”

“I think it’s time you went back to your cell don’t you.”

“What, no you can’t take me back there…”

The bastard dragged me to my feet and pulled out his taser, soon he was pulling me out of the room and down the long corridor back towards my cell again. I knew this time they would punish me far worse than ever before, yet the bastards would still refuse to let me die. We got closer to my cell and I tried fighting him and pushing him away from me, then the bastard used his taser on me and I practically fell to the floor outside my cell. The guard spoke to Pete and shoved me onto the bed, then all I could do was watch as he hung a sheet across the bars.

“Well I guess it’s time for some fun Alex.”

“Please… God for fucks sake don’t do this…”

The guard had left me cuffed and now my position meant there was no way that I could fight the man, then soon I couldn’t even talk as he shoved a tee shirt into my mouth. Then I felt as he pulled my clothes down and knelt over my exposed body, all I could do was brace myself against the pain that was sure as hell going to follow.

“There you go, you’re such a turn on when all you can do is lay there moaning. So are you ready for me Alex, behave and I might make it good for you too?”

Pete was far from gentle as he forced himself inside me, and I knew from the pain alone that he’d used nothing and that he’d torn my insides. Not that I could do a thing as he moaned his pleasure from above me, he was also brutal as he placed his hands around my neck and started to squeeze hard. Somewhere along the line my brain started to shut down and block out everything around me, I was also becoming lightheaded from the lack of oxygen along with the struggle to breathe.

My brain registered other voices somewhere in the distance and a lot of shouting, yet I didn’t even have the strength to do anything or respond to what was happening around me. Then I recognized one of the voices and realized it was Fox, then the weight was gone from me and the cloth was removed from my mouth.

“Where the fuck’s the guard that was supposed to be watching him, shit he wasn’t even meant to be brought back to his cell. Get me the fuckin warden now, and also someone better find that guard as he has a lot to answer for.”

I heard the other guard leave, I also noticed that he restrained Pete and took him with him. Now Fox was sat here holding me and I couldn’t handle him or anything that had happened, so much had happened to me in such a short time. Fox was wrong if he thought words would deal with anything, it was all a mess and I’d still be stuck in here once he was long gone. Yet he wouldn’t be quiet, well this was Fox Mulder after all and the man could talk nonstop once something pissed him off.

“God I’m so sorry I left you in that room with the guard, none of this should ever have happened to you babe and you shouldn’t have to deal with all this. The warden was considering putting you on suicide watch, now they’ll have to after what’s just happened to you in here.”

Fox had pulled my clothes back up and now held me tight in his arms, he’d even pulled a blanket over me and kept whispering things to me. Then I heard other voices and tried to block them all out, I’d got to the point where I no longer cared what the hell they did to me as it couldn’t get much worse. Fox was talking to me again and asking me if I could stand, apparently, they wanted me to be looked at by a doctor as my body had suffered the near strangulation and attack.

In the end I’d forced myself to stand and Fox had to help keep my balance, then I found myself back in the hospital and Fox was helping me lay down on the table so I could be examined thoroughly. The doctor checked my neck and assured me that there was some bruising but no permanent damage, then I was trying my hardest to get away from him and nearly fell off the table in the process. The doctor wanted to remove my clothes and examine me internally to see if the rape had caused any damage.

“Get the fuck away from me, don’t touch me or I’ll fuckin kill you all.”

“Alex relax, come on he’s a doctor and it’s only routine.”

“Fuck you Fox…Just get your hands off me and leave me alone.”

“Alex…”

“No it doesn’t matter anymore, you think this means anything after everything else that they’ve done to me? Shit this was just a walk in the park compared to that, it will heal itself and no one’s touching me.”

“Alex, they have to do it and you know that, you could be damaged bad and an infection could set in.”

“Do I look like I give a fuck about that, just let me go Fox.”

Fox held me tightly against his chest and kept kissing my head, then I felt the sharp prick as the doctor injected something into me. I suddenly felt lightheaded and it was Fox that kept me on my feet, shit he was still talking when I passed out.

“It’s only a sedative babe, just relax and all this will be over when you wake up.”

I woke and took in my surroundings and checked myself over, I guess old habits were truly hard to break as instinct kicked in. The room was small and reminded me of the one in solitary, yet there was one major difference and that was the severe lack of furnishings. I was laid on some thick blanket on the floor and didn’t even have a bed, there wasn’t even a toilet or sink in the room either. Ha, I guess they figured you’d try smacking your head against it if there were one in here.

As for myself, well it would appear that I was wearing nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts and a tee shirt. Then I heard the door to the room open and I looked up to see who it was, great I guess Fox still hadn’t left the prison yet.

“Hey your awake.”

“Why are you still here Fox?”

“I’m not leaving until I know you’re safe Alex.”

“Yeah well I see they managed to sedate me and do what they wanted to me.”

“I was with you the entire time and made sure you were okay Alex; you were examined and nothing more. There were signs of severe trauma to the anal tissue that will heal in time, the doctor decided a course of antibiotics was the best cause of action too.”

“So, what happens now?”

“You have one week to your trial, that week you will be kept here in this room and away from everyone else. You tried to kill yourself before the attack, now you could be more suspectable to future attempts Alex.”

“So, I have to live like an animal for a week, why couldn’t I have a normal room with a toilet and a bed?”

“Because everything is a danger in your state of mind, they can even remove your clothes or restrain you if you try anything again.”

“Yeah I get it, you can go now Fox as I ‘ll be okay in here.”

“Have you had anymore thoughts to court and your trial?”

“Nothing’s changed Fox, also I still don’t want you there either.”

“I can’t promise that Alex, I get the feeling our paths were always meant to keep crossing.”

“Great so I don’t even get a say in the matter.”

“I want to be there for you Alex.”

“Why, it won’t change anything Fox.”

“God I just remembered the reason for my visit, I guess with everything going on it’d slipped my mind.”

“Okay why did you come then?”

“I discussed things with your lawyer and we were trying to figure out who was looking into your case.”

“And did you find out who it is?”

“Yeah it appears that it’s the Englishman, he seems to have taken a very keen interest in you and the case.”

“Great that’s all I need.”

“What do you mean?”

“Another one who wants to hammer the final nail into my coffin, he’ll be making sure I’m convicted and out of the loop totally.”

“Maybe he has other motives.”

“Yeah right, who the hell do you think Luis Cardinale works for? The Englishman made it clear that he wanted nothing more to do with me, also that I was on my own and he wouldn’t help me in the future no matter what.”

“I could always go and see him if that’s what you want?”

“No, just stay the hell away Fox or I’ll suffer again.”

“One thing doesn’t make sense though Alex…”

“What’s that?”

“You say Luis works for the Englishman?”

“Yeah so what?”

“Wouldn’t he know that it’s the Englishman looking into your case then and not me.”

“Not necessarily, the Englishman is most likely looking into Luis too and making sure he’s doing his job. The best way to do that would be to keep Luis in the dark, then he can see if he reacts when he thinks it’s you.”

“Yeah I guess it makes some sort of sense.”

“You have to stay away from them all Fox and the case, we both know nothing’s going to change so why suffer.”

“I just feel so helpless…”

“You and I both Fox.”

“Well I guess I should get going.”

“Yeah thanks for helping me out and talking to the warden.”

“I just want you to be safe Alex.”

“I know, please try and think about the trial Fox. I meant what I said about staying away, I don’t want that to be your last memory of me, I’d rather you think about the few good times we had together.”

“I’ll think about it, however I can’t promise anything Alex.”

I knew that the man could be relentless and a stubborn bastard at times, I also knew chances are he’d arrive at the trial to be there for me. I guess I should be thankful that he did love me and care what happened. As soon as Fox left I felt alone, how the hell would I survive seven days locked in here like this? I only had to look over towards the door to see someone, now I would be watched for the entire duration I spent inside this room.

Suicide watch, fuck it would make you suicidal having someone watch your every move for a whole week. Not one part of my life would be my own for some time and that thought depressed me, to have someone watch you undress to take a piss was degrading. Worse was the fact I’d so recently been abused and I couldn’t cope with anyone watching me at all.

I spent most of my time curled in a small ball and covered myself with the blanket, I just wanted the week to go fast so this was all over with. I had no idea why though or what I expected to change, especially as I had no idea what would happen to me once I was sentenced. Would I be put back in a cell with someone different, I was well aware Pete had been sent elsewhere, also the guard had just disappeared after he’d returned me to my cell that day.

People told me things with regards to my court date, also what might happen to me once this was all over with. There was a good chance that I’d never have to see Carl or his men ever again and I might be transferred, a new cell block, hell or even to a different prison. Great that was all I needed right now, the thought of starting all over again and having to deal with a bunch of strangers. Shit then I realized I’d have no one making sure I didn’t die, I would be open to assault and abuse on a whole new level.

There was nothing I could do but wait, I’d coped six days in here now and I’d be moving on soon. Someone came and told me that Fox Mulder had left a suit here for my trial, tomorrow morning I was to get cleaned up and then be transferred to the courthouse for my trial. I was thankful that Fox had brought the suit and part of me wanted him there, yet I knew it would be the last time I’d see him and that thought alone caused me physical pain and heartache.

Morning came and I finally left this tiny room and dressed, wearing the suit made me realize how much weight I’d lost while in here, I was just thankful that Fox had included a belt too. Soon I was dressed and at least I looked presentable, not that it mattered as the judge would soon see past the fancy clothes and know what kind of man I was. My nerves were already in shreds and I was a wreck by the time we arrived, my lawyer came into the holding room and explained a few things to me about the procedure. I was fine and understood it all and I knew it was just routine, he then also informed me that Fox was sat out there too. He figured I would be better off knowing before I walked out there, that way I wouldn’t start panicking or anything.

I’d realized that I had to plead guilty and not for the reason Fox wanted, if I pleaded innocent there would be a long trial and I couldn’t handle court every day. I figured if I plead guilty, I’d be charged and sentenced there and then, and nothing mattered as either way my life would be spent behind bars.

Finally, I was led into the large courtroom and knew everyone in there would be looking at me, that was why I kept my head down and took my seat next to my lawyer. The room was noisy and I could hear people talking about me and what I’d supposedly done, and it was becoming harder by the second to block them all out and try to hang on to my sanity.

I think that was why I was so pleased when the judge finally entered the room and took up his own position, as within no time silence suddenly prevailed and I could breathe once more. There were a couple of so called witnesses that were questioned, my own lawyer was relentless and asked them many questions as he poked holes in their statements.

Sat at the other table was the grandfather of the twin girls that had died, he was the one who was paying a lawyer to find me guilty and lock me up for life. The lawyer was good and I knew I’d have to work hard to answer their questions, at first I hadn’t even heard them tell me that I had to take the stand. My own lawyer had to get my attention and tell me to move, now I was on the witness stand and was struggling to hold it all together as the questions were about to start, then to my surprise the lawyer spoke and then sat back down.

“I have no questions at this time, as it would appear he’s pleading guilty so there’s no point cross examining him.”

Thank god I could breathe once more, well that was until my own lawyer stood and said he had some questions for me. Shit he was my own fuckin lawyer and he was trying to make me explain what I’d done, somehow I had a feeling that Fox had put him up to this.

“So, you still want to plead guilty Alex?”

“Yes.”

“What is it that you’re pleading guilty to?”

“What I’ve been charged with.”

“Which is?”

Shit I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me, the bastard wanted me to say it out loud and in front of the whole courtroom. I could feel the sweat as it ran down my temple, then I started to feel sick too.

“Please tell everyone here what you did Alex.”

“I can’t…”

“Why can’t you?”

“I just can’t.”

“You can’t because you didn’t do it did you?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Go on then, tell us what you did Alex and why your pleading guilty.”

“I killed them.”

“You can do better than that, you have to tell the good people here what you did.”

“Leave me alone…”

“Go on Alex, tell them how you raped and abused two small children and then you cut their throats open. Seven years old and you robbed them of their life and abused them in the most horrendous way possible…”

“No…God please don’t do this…”

“Why? Is it because you didn’t do it Alex? Is it because your innocent and someone set you up to take the fall?”

“Shut up, just shut the fuck up and leave me alone.”

Well he’d managed to get what he wanted and had well and truly broken me, now I sat here sobbing like a fuckin baby as everyone spoke at once. The noise was too much and I put my hands over my ears, then suddenly there was silence as the courtroom doors flew open and someone walked in, I looked up and straight away I recognized the Englishman but not the people with him. He took one look at me and then went straight over to the judge; some words were spoken and then the judge was yelling at the guards and giving everyone orders.

“Get him out of this room now, take him back into the waiting area and keep him there until I say otherwise.”

The guard led me back to the small room, now all I could do was wait and hope my lawyer filled me in on what was happening. That’s why I was surprised when it was Fox that walked into the room and sat down beside me, then the first thing he did was hug me and kiss my head. I had no idea how much time had passed and I didn’t care either, however I knew that Fox was unable to talk straight away as he was crying.

“Fox…”

“God I love you so much Alex, just to be able to hold you again like this despite thinking that I never would.”

“I know, I’m sorry for everything Fox.”

“Hey at least things are looking up now.”

“Why, what do you mean?”

“The Englishman filled me in on a few things Alex, he also told me that Luis is working to his own agenda and that he never authorised any of this. I think that’s the reason he wants to help you, as he himself wants revenge on Luis. Did you see the two people that were there with him?”

“Yeah who were they?”

“They were the two people you were supposed to have murdered, also they claim that their two children are alive too. You were right and it was all as set up put in place by the smoker before he died, it was to be his way of bringing you down and destroying you.”

“So, what happens to me now?”

“You will be returned to prison and held there until they run some DNA tests, if they really are the family then you’ll be free Alex.”

“What so I can go home?”

“Yes, you’ll be free to have a life again Alex.”

“Great I don’t even have a home anymore.”

“Your home is with me Alex, also that’s were all your stuff is too.”

“You mean that?”

“Of course I do, I won’t be in a hurry to let you out of my sight babe.”

“That’s fine with me.”

“So, all you have to do is hang in there for a couple of days, oh also you’ll be going to a different prison too.”

“Thank god, I just hope it isn’t as bad as the last one.”

“Yeah hopefully not.”

In the end I got to spend over an hour with Fox before they came for me, apparently they were then taking me to a remand centre instead of a prison. I was hoping that it wouldn’t be as bad, and hopefully no one there would know me. Well I had to admit that the place was far cleaner than the last prison I was in, also I was hoping they kept their word and I’d only have to stay here for a couple of nights at the most.

Soon they showed me into a small room with just the one bed as I’d be on my own, the only time I would leave the room would be to eat and to shower which suited me just fine. At the moment I was still struggling to come to terms with what had happened in the court room, I had a feeling I wouldn’t believe any of it until the day arrived and I was finally free once more. Oh, and then there was the thought of living with Fox too, no longer having to make excuses every time that I wanted to see him again.

I would see him every day, I’d also go to bed with him and then wake up to his gorgeous face every morning too. At the moment though it all just felt like a dream, hell maybe it was and I’d wake up back in that cell all alone again. They’d allowed me some books in here and I tried to keep myself busy so the time would pass faster, I’d arrived here late in the day and the first night soon came and went, finally I started to relax somewhat and actually believed I could do this.

At meal times everyone seemed to keep themselves to themselves, so to be honest I knew that I could survive another night here if that’s what it took to be free. My lawyer paid me a visit later on that day to update me on everything, apparently I would have to return to the court the following morning as the DNA results would be done by then.

Tomorrow was the day that would determine my whole future, also whether I walked free or had to return to a prison for the remainder of it instead. Shit right now I couldn’t handle the thought of that, on the upside they might send me to a prison where I could end it all.

At the moment I just lay here on my bed thinking about everything, back to how all this had started with the clone and Fox. I guess that was the only thing I had to thank the clone for, even though it did fuck with Fox’s head to start with. Now I was glad that Fox had finally accepted me for who I am and what we can have together, I’ loved the man for so long and could never hurt him the way the clone had done.

It had cost me so much to begin with, I could have lost my friends too after they thought it was me. Shit then I realized the last time I saw Steve or Paul was back at the club when Fox had come to arrest me. God thinking about it all was giving me one hell of a headache and I was tired too; at some point I must have fallen asleep on my bed as it was now evening meal time.

The guard came and took me to the canteen area and I just grabbed anything; food wasn’t important right now as I had a lot more things on my mind. Fourteen hours and I’d be stood back in that court room, also it was only fourteen hours to seeing Fox and maybe going home with him.

The canteen was really noisy and I’d be glad to return to my own room, obviously some new prisoners had arrived this morning and now all the tables were full. I ate my food and gave little thought to the other prisoners and why they were there, no way did I want any trouble or to get in a fight this close to leaving.

People came and went, as each person left another was ready to take their place and sit down at the table. It was annoying at times as they had to push past you so they could get to the empty seats, then one accidently dropped something as he squeezed behind me. The man went to pick it up and then I felt his warm breath against me ear, then I also heard the words that he whispered to me.

“Luis said to give you a message, I’m to tell you that the game ends here.”

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain and my hand instantly went to my side, I could feel the sticky wet mess and knew it was blood before I even saw it. Then suddenly there was shouting and people moving around as I slid to the floor, then I remembered very little as someone knelt beside me with their hand pressed against the wound.

I woke some time later and realized I was in a hospital, and also that I wasn’t restrained to the bed either. I hated hospitals and couldn’t stand it laying here on the bed, especially when anyone could walk in here and finish the job they’d started. Even as I sat up I realized I wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon though, the pain that ripped across my body made me cry out and I had to lay back down.

I found the small button that would summon the nurse, I had to know how long I’d been here and when they would let me go. At first I thought no one was going to come to see me, then finally the door opened and a tall woman in her fifties entered the room and came over to the bed.

“Well it’s good to see you’re awake, how are you feeling now?”

“Like someone’s shredded my insides.”

“Imagine how it would feel without the meds then.”

“I’d rather not thanks. I just want to know how long I’ve been here and when I can leave, all I can remember is the blood and someone holding me.”

“Well you were brought here about ten hours ago and we sedated you, it’s now four in the morning and I’ll give you something so you can sleep for the remainder of the night.”

“Yeah okay, so when do I get to leave?”

“Well you were scheduled to appear in court this morning, however they’ve delayed it for a couple more days. We can keep you sedated and you will heal faster, you won’t be fully healed, however with help you’ll be able to attend your court appearance.”

“Have I had any visitors or anything?”

“We decided it was best that no one see you until the court case, you are a high risk patient and someone might try to get to you again.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Look if you get plenty of rest the time will fly by.”

“True, I guess it might stop the pain too.”

The nurse added some meds to the drip that was in my arm and I felt lightheaded, I wasn’t tired as more out of it. I felt as if I were floating high up in the air, then I laughed when I realized I was actually just high. I’d have to admit that they used some good pain meds in this place, and maybe I could survive the next forty eight hours in here after all.

I had vague memories of waking up now and again, I also remember seeing the nurse come and go as they topped up my meds. Then they decided to reduce the meds in preparation for me leaving here, shit then I realized just how much I was still in pain and would need the meds for some time.

At least I was now allowed to get out of bed and try walking, every step caused a pain in my side, yet I persevered and knew I’d walk into that court room without any help from anyone. I would hold my head up hight and accept the outcome that was decided for me, no matter what it may be.

Finally, they came for me and I was glad to be out of the hospital, not that I liked the car drive though as I felt every little bump. I was just thankful that they gave me plenty of meds so I could deal with the day ahead, at least I wasn’t high and would be able to answer them if they expected me to do so.

There was no waiting this time, I arrived and was taken straight into the court room and told to sit. This time the court room was practically empty, apart from me there was only Fox and my own lawyer in attendance. I then noticed a side door open and the judge walked out and took his own seat, Now I was a nervous wreck as he sat there shuffling papers and preparing himself for the task at hand. I was even shaking by the time he finally looked up and at me, he then told me to stand up.

“Right I’ll make this brief as I’m sure you’ve suffered enough; I’ve read all the reports and I’m aware of all that has happened to you. I’m sure you want this over with too, that way you can move on.”

“Yes Sir.”

“The DNA results came back, apparently all the people you were accused of killing are alive and well. Basically, what I am saying Mr Krycek is that you’re a free man, you are free to leave here right away.”

I started to sway and felt light headed, my lawyer had to put a hand on my arm to steady me. Then suddenly Fox was there and held me tight in his arms, everything else was forgotten as the tears came and I broke down right where I stood.

“It’s okay babe, it’s all over now Alex and we can go home.”

I couldn’t even answer him as he led me out of that court room, Fox even had to come around to the passenger side of his car and fasten my seat belt. I just felt so overwhelmed by everything and couldn’t even focus on anything right now, Fox remained by my side and even helped me reach the apartment and sit down.

It all felt so strange at first, I guess it was many months ago since I’d last sat on this very couch. Hell, it was ages since I’d seen the inside of this apartment too, great I’m finally free and it scares the hell out of me, what would happen now and would we survive spending so much time together. Our relationship was always on the volatile side and we always ended up hurting each other, now I was afraid that I’d push Fox away and wouldn’t be able to let him in.

Fox was good and tried to give me some space, he let me rest and brough me food and drink throughout the day. Soon though I knew it would be night time and that scared the hell out of me, I myself didn’t even know how I’d cope with Fox touching me after what had happened.

“Alex are you okay?”

“Yeah I could do with a shower though, I just want to wash away all traces of that place away.”

“That’s normal Alex, you go and shower then and I’ll make us both a drink.”

“I’d like that, and thanks for having me here too Fox.”

“I want you here and this is your home now Alex.”

“Yeah if you say so.”

I never even gave Fox chance to answer me, soon I was in the bathroom and had locked the door behind me. Straight away I was drawn towards the mirror and the reflection that was shown there, god I couldn’t understand why Fox or anyone would want me for that matter. The image that stared back at me looked so pale and sick, then I made the mistake of pulling my tee shirt off. The knife wound was covered with a surgical pad and I didn’t have to look at it, yet I knew I’d have to remove it when I showered.

In the end I just covered the mirror and refused to look at the image that stared back at me, that way I could just pretend that nothing had happened to me and I was still the same old Alex Krycek as before. The shower was quick and I only touched myself with the sponge, at first I’d used my hand and had nearly thrown up as I felt the prominent bones and remembered how I’d become like this.

Part of me was glad to get out, however I would have to go out there in just a towel and face Fox again. God I was so thankful when I realized he was still in the kitchen, it meant that I could grab a tee shirt and some boxers before he came to bed. Soon I’d slipped under the covers and I could hide my body from his sight, as I hated myself so I knew Fox would be despised by me now.

Soon Fox brought me a mug of hot chocolate and left me alone to drink it, I could hear the shower turn on and I knew he was trying to give me some space to settle in. I finished the drink and was nearly asleep as Fox slipped inside the bed and put his arm around me, then I fuckin froze and my heart started racing.

“Alex it’s only me babe, I just wanted to hold you again and know that you’re really here.”

“I know, it’s just so hard Fox.”

“We can do this at your pace, I’m only going to hold you and hopefully you’ll let me.”

“I’ll try.”

“It will be hard at first and we knew it would be, in time you will find it easier to deal with everything.”

“Yeah maybe, I guess it doesn’t help knowing that Luis is out there somewhere and could finish the job himself now.”

“You’ll be safe here Alex, I swear to god I’ll kill him myself if he comes near you!”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

“Yeah hopefully, try and get some sleep Alex and we’ll take each day as it comes.”

I finally drifted off into a restless sleep and then the nightmares came once more, I was back inside that prison and was going to suffer the pain all over again. I was back in the bathroom with the guard blocking the door and my only way out of this, they wouldn’t let me out and Carl was hitting me again.

I was forced down onto the hard tiles into the dirty water, I could taste it in my mouth and wanted to be sick as they all abused me. Shit then I looked up expecting to see Carl laughing at me, yet the face that I saw laughing was Fox. I started screaming and couldn’t stop, my brain couldn’t register what was happening or why he would want to hurt me in that way.

God then suddenly I felt someone grab me and try holding me down, I couldn’t take this and had to fight back the best I could. I raised my fist and started hitting out at the man that held me down, then suddenly he was screaming at me and everything suddenly came into focus. Fox was knelt up on the bed and leaning over, then I saw the blood that was dripping on the bed from his nose.

“Shit what the fuck have I done?”

“Just forget about it Alex.”

“How the hell can I do that?”

I sat up and grabbed the towel that was still on the chair from last night, as I moved to give it to him, he just grabbed it and moved away from me. How the hell could I remain in this bed with him when I was capable of that, maybe Fox should sleep on his own until I get used to my surroundings and the nightmares stop.

“I think I should sleep on the couch Fox.”

“No you stay here, I’ll go as I’m used to sleeping on it anyway and you need your rest.”

“I don’t know what to say to you to make it right, I swear that I’d never hurt you on purpose Fox.”

“I know you wouldn’t, you just need some time to sort your head out and we’ll be okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Also, I think you need to see a psychiatrist too.”

“What?”

“Maybe they can help you deal with all that’s happened to you.”

“I’ll be okay, I’m not seeing anyone about this so you can get that idea out of your head right now.”

“Calm down Alex, shit it was just a suggestion that’s all.”

“Yeah well fuck you, I’ve survived far worse than this and I’ll deal with it in my own way.”

Fox walked out and slammed the bedroom door behind him, well what a great start to freedom this was turning out to be. I lay there wondering if we’d ever be able to work things out, well without the arguments and me hitting him that is. Well for one he’d have to get it in his head that I didn’t need to see anyone, Fox could accept me as I was or I’d walk. Maybe he should have let me go and would be better off without me, it’s not as if I’m the same man he fell in love with anymore.

The first week passed and we’d barely even talked, Fox had even returned to work claiming that he was needed there, personally I believed he was avoiding me. I don’t think he could cope with the new me, well I suppose it didn’t help that I bit his head off every time he opened his mouth. Shit we were struggling right now to even be friends, so there was no chance of anything else happening, not that it could when we still slept separately and hadn’t even kissed since the day I was released.

Boredom was also driving me mad too, stuck here in this fuckin apartment day in day out, maybe that was why I was always so bad tempered and pissed off by the time he arrived home. Today was no exception either, I’d decided to cook a meal in the hopes we could deal with this and maybe have a civil conversation. Then Fox finally arrived home over two hours late and informed me that he’d already ate, then I saw red and lost it big time.

“Why the fuck do you really want me here Fox?”

“You know why?”

“No actually I don’t, so maybe you can enlighten me…”

“Because I love you Alex.”

“Love, what a fuckin joke that is. We don’t even communicate anymore, shit we communicated more when I was still inside. Is that what you wanted Fox, some lover that was inside and you could feel sorry for, then they let me out and now you have to face me on a daily basis.”

“It’s not like that at all and you know it isn’t.”

“Well fuck you, maybe it’s time I found somewhere else to live.”

“Alex please don’t do this, we can talk…”

“Why now, you never wanted to talk before?”

“Maybe because you wouldn’t listen to me or let me in, did you think cooking a meal would solve all our fuckin problems Alex?”

“Fuck you…”

I took my hand and cleared the table in seconds, Fox had to step back to avoid all the food and smashed plates.

“Oh, very mature Alex.”

“Hey, be thankful it’s not you I’m taking it out on.”

“Why is that what you want Alex, come on then hit me if it makes you feel better.”

“Fox I’m warning you…”

“Warning me? What are you warning me for, shit you’re pathetic and need to get some fuckin help before you self destruct?”

“Go to hell…”

“Maybe I’m already in hell, as it sure feels that way living with a miserable bastard like you.”

I lost it and grabbed hold of Fox by his shirt, I then raised my fist in the air and went to hit him then reality set in. Instead I shoved him back against the wall and left him there, within minutes I’d grabbed my jacket and keys then I got the hell out of there.

I found the nearest bar and planned to get drunk, I still couldn’t believe that I’d actually gone to hit the man that I loved so much, and I had to wonder if we could get past this. Yeah well, I was sure going a good way about trying to resolve everything, especially as I had a habit of knocking back the vodka like it was going out of fashion.

Soon my head started to spin and I felt totally out of it, yet I just carried on drinking and would get a cab home in a couple of hours or so. Well that was exactly what I did, I got out of the cab and made my way up to the apartment to find it in darkness, and Fox was asleep on the couch. I decided to leave him where he was as he looked so peaceful and innocent as he slept, first though I had to kiss those lips while he couldn’t refuse me.

I soon realized that the man was responsive even as he slept and he was also moaning in his sleep, okay I was drunk and couldn’t help myself as I lifted the cover and ran my hand down his flat stomach towards his groin. My hand brushed slightly against his boxers and I realized that he was hard, shit then I realized he wasn’t the only one and I too was hard despite the alcohol. I kissed him once more and forced my tongue into his warm mouth, then suddenly I realized he was kissing me back.

“Fox come to bed…”

“Are you sure it’s what you really want Alex?”

“Yeah I want you lover.”

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the couch, soon we were both naked and on the bed kissing each other.

“Fox make love to me.”

“It’ll be my pleasure babe.”

I rolled over onto my stomach and suddenly felt really sick, oh god please… this really couldn’t be happening to me now of all times. Well I knew it was too good to be true and I deserved everything I got, in the end I had no choice but to push Fox away from me and run into the bathroom. I was still knelt over the toilet puking my guts up when he walked in, Fox was so kind as he knelt beside me and offered me the glass of water to drink.

The man was so patient and waited with me until I felt somewhat better, then he even returned to the bedroom and lay back down on the bed with me. The worst of the nausea had paced and I knew I should say something to him, the question was what could I say?

“I’m a fuckin idiot and I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay Alex.”

“No it’s not, you’ve stood by me through all of this and then I just treat you like dirt.”

“You’ve suffered so much, maybe drinking on an empty stomach and while on meds wasn’t such a good idea though.”

“No, it was stupid and selfish.”

“Alex I was just worried that something could happen to you when you go off like that, I really did want to come home tonight and sort this out and then I had to go see Skinner.”

“It doesn’t matter Fox.”

“Yes, it does and you’d even cooked too, maybe we both need to admit that were a pair of idiots.”

“Fox just shut up and kiss me.”

“I’ll kiss you if you promise to go straight to sleep afterwards, we can always try again tomorrow.”

“Agreed lover.”

Fox kissed me and held me in his arms and I felt safe, I was still in his arms come morning and had slept through the night without any nightmares. Morning came too fast though and Fox was up and getting ready for work, then I suddenly had a thought and jumped out of bed and started to dress.

“Alex you could stay in bed…”

“I’m okay and feel a lot better today, also I just wondered if you could do me a favour on your way to work?”

“Yeah I will if I can, so what do you want doing?”

“I just wondered if you could drop me off at the bar I was in last night.”

“It’s a bit early to be drinking Alex.”

“Funny, I left my car there last night and got a cab home.”

“Yeah come on then we’d better get a move on.”

We soon left and reached the bar where I’d spent the previous evening getting drunk, Fox kissed me and told me to get my car and not another drink. Right now alcohol was the last thing on my mind, and all I wanted to do was get my car and go back home to bed. As soon as he drove off I moved, I went towards the car park and saw the piece of paper under my windshield wiper. Great maybe they didn’t like the fact that I’d left my car here overnight, I grabbed the note wanting to see who I’d pissed off now and then my blood suddenly ran cold.

The note said I’m watching every move you make and it’s only a matter of time, see you soon Alex L.C. The fuckin bastard was still following me and making my life hell, I decided to shove the note in my pocket for now and just go home. I would forget about it for now as it would remain my secret, Fox didn’t deserve this trouble on top of everything else.

I drove back to the apartment and starting ringing around, I still had a few old contacts out there that hated Luis and the consortium. Fox arrived home later and I was still sat on the couch waiting for my phone to ring, someone somewhere must know the whereabouts of Luis so I could go and take the bastard out once and for all. Fox had muttered something about me ignoring him and that I were miles away, then he became angry when I went into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of vodka I’d bought earlier.

“Alex tell me what’s wrong, has something happened to you today?”

“No, look just leave me alone Fox.”

“I only asked, you know that you can tell me anything Alex.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“So, what’s with the phone?”

“Nothing.”

“Funny you’ve sat there staring at it since I came home.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Yeah well I’m not stupid Alex, if it’s anything that concerns me I’d like to know about it.”

“Shit not everything in my life is about you Fox, just stay out of my personal business and I’ll stay out of yours.”

“I thought we were supposed to be partners Alex.”

“Yeah well I still have my own life and I don’t answer to you Fox.”

“No apparently you think the answers are in the bottom of a bottle.”

“Go to hell.”

That night I went and sat in my car so I could get some peace and think, I then ended up sleeping in it too. Every night was pretty much the same now, it was over a month since I moved in with Fox and the relationship was slowly deteriorating. It didn’t help because Luis was playing a cat and mouse game with me, personally I’d rather have him confront me so we could deal with this.

Fox had become nothing more than a room mate to me since I got out of prison, we’d only slept in the same bed twice and nothing had happened. I knew that I was behaving like a complete bastard towards him and I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t kicked me out, well I suppose there was still time for that. Especially as we no longer even touched or kissed each other, Luis had become my mission and it was slowly driving me insane.

I was drinking every day too now and spent most of my days drunk, maybe I should lay off the bottle for a day or so and go to a bar instead. It was then I realized I’d still not spoke to Steve or Paul since I became a free man, well at least that solved the dilemma of which club I should go and visit. I called a cab and waited, hell I couldn’t even remember when I was last sober enough to drive my own fuckin car either.

The cab dropped me off and I headed inside and towards the bar, I never even managed to reach it as Steve saw me and made a beeline straight towards me. The man threw his arms around me and hugged me tight in his death grip, he then stepped back to take a good look at me.

“God it’s good to see you again Alex, let me get you a drink and then we can catch up.”

“Yeah sounds good.”

Soon we were sat in the corner where it was quiet and we could actually hear ourselves talk, Steve had brought over a couple of glasses and a full bottle of vodka so he wouldn’t have to keep going over to the bar.

“So how are you really doing Alex?”

“Okay, it’s good to be out of that hell hole.”

“Yeah I saw Agent Mulder a couple of times after he arrested you, I also hear that you’re living with him now too.”

“Yeah he was only doing his job at the time, then he proved himself and has stood by me and helped me whenever he could.”

“So how come your not at home with him then?”

“It’s complicated, also right now he’s at work anyway.”

“I would have thought everything would be running like clockwork now, I mean as you’re free and there’s no Spender or the consortium to deal with.”

“I have one person from my past that’s making my life hell, I’m not sure if Fox told you about Luis while I were locked up, about what he did to me when I was inside?”

“Yeah I heard a bit, however I thought that was all in the past now.”

“So did I, then I found a note on my car letting me know that he was watching me and still planned to kill me.”

“Have you told Agent Mulder about this?”

“No and I don’t want you saying anything to him either, Luis will cause a lot of shit for Fox if he finds out I’ve said anything.”

“What, so you’re just dealing with all of this on your own?”

“I have no choice Steve.”

“So, have you decided what you’ll do with regards to Luis?”

“At the moment I’m keeping my head down or staying in open places, hopefully that way he won’t take me out anytime soon.”

“Ah so that’s why you’re here then.”

“It’s public, however I wanted to see you and make sure you’re okay.”

“Yeah, and I have to admit that I’m glad you came Alex.”

“Well I wanted to get drunk and I thought it would be safe here, especially as I’m among friends.”

“Good I’m glad you realize we’re still here for you, look you enjoy yourself Alex and I’ll be behind the bar if you need me for anything okay.”

“Yeah and thanks for everything.”

I knew that Steve had work to do and that didn’t bother me, sometimes it was nice to sit quietly and just watch the world go by and see what everyone else does in their spare time. I soon became relaxed as the drink went down easily enough, soon I was totally drunk and my thoughts turned back to Fox once more.

I was worried about Luis and what would happen if Fox found out, not that it should bother me when I would drive Fox away soon enough anyway. I drank every single day of the week and was drunk more than sober; chances are Fox would return from work and be glad I was out. I was slowly destroying the man and deep down I knew it, yet every day I swore I’d remain sober and deal with all of this. I pushed him away, yet I was petrified of losing him and ending up alone.

It was like catch twenty two, I was scared of losing him so I got drunk, then drunk I believed I’d lose him too. Shit now I was starting to confuse myself and I had to wonder if I’d drank more than I thought. At the end of the day I was punishing Fox because I couldn’t deal with Luis and that was all that mattered.

Thinking about how I was punishing Fox made me stop and think, maybe I deserved to be punished too because of what I was doing to him. Right I’d made my decision, I grabbed the bottle of vodka and downed the rest of it neat and then stood. It took me a couple of minutes to sort myself out, then I went over to the bar to see if I could find Steve. Shit it was then I heard a voice behind me and nearly fell over, then I realized it was Steve that spoke to me.”

“Shit you really shouldn’t sneak up on a drunk man Steve.”

“Why, it keeps you on your toes Alex.”

“Yeah I guess it does.”

“So, what can I do for you anyway?”

“I want a room, someone to punish me just like before.”

“Are you sure you’re sober enough to know what you want?”

“Yeah so don’t give me a hard time.”

“Me give you a hard time, you were the one last time that filled a water bottle with neat vodka and took it in the room with you!”

“Yeah and you’ll never let me live it down will you, look I’ll even let you search me if that’s what it takes.”

“I trust you Alex, also I’ve seen Agent Mulder when he’s pissed off and I don’t need him on my back.”

“Shit, chances are he wouldn’t give a shit if I left and went off with someone else.”

“God you can be so blind and stupid at times Alex.”

“Gee thanks…”

“Alex the man loves you so much, you only have to see the way he watches you and looks at you.”

“Sometimes I wonder, especially when you consider the amount of times he beat me.”

“Alex, he beat you because he wanted you and couldn’t have you, maybe you should just call it a night and go home to him.”

“No, I’ve made up my mind Steve, I deserve to be punished because of how I’ve treated him lately. Shit all he’s got is a liar and a drunk for a lover…”

“Alex you’ve only lied to protect him.”

“Yeah but I know how much it pisses him off, especially as were supposed to be a couple.”

“Fine I’ll let you have a room on one condition Alex.”

“What’s that?”

“Straight afterwards you go straight home to Fox, maybe even think about telling him the truth.”

“Okay you have a deal.”

“Come with me then.”

I followed Steve and he led me into one of the empty rooms and told me to wait, soon someone would be along to deal with me and what I wanted. Well it didn’t matter really as Fox would never know, most nights he slept on the couch and never even came near me.

Sometimes I wondered about myself and my own sanity, I’d suffered so much and still believed that I deserved the pain and deserved to suffer for what I’d done. Right now, I just wanted something that was fast and would hurt, then afterwards I’d go home and take whatever shit Fox decided to dish out. I was still lost in thought when the door opened and someone walked in, the man was taller than me and far bigger too.

“Steve said you wanted someone to punish you?”

“Yeah I guess I need it.”

“So, have you any idea what you want?”

“Yeah I think so, maybe it might work if I bend over the chair and you just use the whip.”

“Yeah okay I can do that; do you want to undress and get yourself ready then?”

“I’ll drop my pants but that’s it, no way am I removing all my clothes while trapped in a room with a stranger.”

“Hey it’s your call.”

“Yeah well I’ve had enough crap to last a lifetime and that’s as far as I’ll go.”

“Okay, you any idea how many times you want me to use the whip?”

“I don’t know, maybe a dozen and then take it from there.”

I unfastened my pants and lowered them along with my underwear, then I leant over the chair and braced myself for the pain that was about to come. Shit I felt so vulnerable and my heart was racing, a few months ago and I would have stripped off without giving it any thought at all. Now I was afraid to be partly exposed in a room with a stranger, well it wasn’t as if I’d even let Fox touch me or be near me in that way.

That made me wonder about Fox, and how he felt about the lack of sex since I’d moved in with him. Yeah right, we had a lack of a fuckin relationship without having to worry about anything else. Shit then the whip struck my bare skin and I cried out from the pain, maybe I’d do well to concentrate on what was happening now and would deal with Fox later.

The man made it to six and my hands were gripping the chair tight, I was also breathing heavy and started to wonder if maybe twelve was too many. Well I guess it was meant to be a punishment and I deserved it, to be honest I deserved far worse than someone taking a whip to my backside.

The next four rained down fast one after the other and I was crying now, the tears ran down my face as I accepted the punishment, two more and it would all be over for now.

“Do you want to stop Alex?”

“No.”

“I just have to make sure you’re okay that’s all.”

“Just fuckin do it, oh and make sure you give it all you’ve got.”

“If that’s how you want it.”

“Yeah hit me like a man and not my fuckin grandma…Oh shit…”

The bastard didn’t like it when someone wound him up, and the eleventh one had hurt far worse than all the previous ones. Fuck and then he dealt the twelfth blow and I were sobbing now; he’d purposely angled the whip so it connected right across the previous eleven welts.

I never even spoke to the man and just pulled my pants up and left, now I’d have to face Fox and his moaning because I went out and got drunk yet again. A cab came within no time and soon I’d reached Hegal place, then within a few minutes I was stood outside the apartment door getting ready to enter. For some reason I felt sick and couldn’t face Fox tonight, I guess I was afraid of what he might say. Okay in all honesty I had one main fear about facing him in this state, deep down I feared the man ending it and kicking me out.

I pulled out my key and slowly opened the door, once inside I closed the door behind me and locked it. So far so good, I glanced over towards the couch and realized it was empty. Now I was the one left wondering where the hell Fox was, well at least I’d be able to go to bed and fall asleep before he came home.

First I decided on a quick shower, I always felt dirty after going to a place and letting someone do that to me. It was as if I could just wash away the presence of someone else touching me and punishing me. No one actually touched me this time yet I still felt dirty, also the warm water might ease the pain that my ass was feeling right now.

I was only in long enough to get clean, all I wanted was to go to bed and sleep off the alcohol and to be sober. Well that was a joke in itself, chances are come breakfast I’d open another bottle of vodka and start all over again. I grabbed a towel and fastened it around my waist before leaving the warm bathroom, then I walked into the bedroom and straight into Fox.

“Where the hell have you been Alex?”

“I could ask you the same…”

“Don’t be clever, I was out looking for you.”

“Yeah well I’m a big boy and can look after myself.”

“Yeah right, your nothing more than a fuckin drunk…”

“Get the hell out of my way Fox or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Don’t push me Fox…”

“If you want me to move, make me move.”

“God you can be so fuckin childish and annoying at times Fox.”

Shit Fox suddenly pushed me backwards and I lost my footing, I fell into the chair before my brain had even registered what was happening. Oh god then I couldn’t help but scream out, my ass had slammed down hard and the wounds were too fresh to deal with it.

“What the hell are you moaning at Alex?”

“Nothing, just leave me alone and let me go to bed.”

“Fine go ahead then.”

I stood up slowly and made my way over to the bed, shit then Fox grabbed the towel and yanked it away from me. I froze right where I stood and felt so vulnerable, I wasn’t even sure if it was from the lack of clothes or Fox seeing what I’d done. It was Fox that moved and grabbed me some underwear, he then held them out to me without even talking. Shit was it that obvious to him, I loved the man yet I felt so lost and had no idea what to expect from him.

“Alex put them on and then we need to talk.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

I put the boxers on and grabbed some sweats and a tee shirt too, for some reason I now felt cold and was even starting to shiver despite the fact the room was warm. Fox left the bedroom and I knew that he expected me to follow him once I was dressed, maybe that was why I’d taken my time. Finally, I knew I couldn’t hide out in here any longer, I walked into the room and sat at the far end of the couch.

“I don’t bite Alex.”

“What…”

“You, are you sure your sat far enough away?”

“Please don’t make this any harder than it is Fox.”

“You’re the one that’s making all of this hard Alex, shit it’s hard talking to someone when they spend every waking moment drunk.”

“I’m sorry, look I’ll lay of the drink if it makes you happy.”

“Well that would be a start, however I want to know what’s going on inside that head of yours. We barely even have a relationship or even talk to each other, also you seem to think you needed to be punished for something.”

“Fox please…”

“No this has gone far enough and I want some answers, first I want to know if you even love me or want to be here with me?”

“How can you ask that Fox, god of course I love you and want to be here with you.”

“Okay, so what are you hiding Alex and why do you need punishing.”

“Oh god this is hard.”

“Just tell me.”

“I wanted someone to punish me because I lied to you…”

“Go on.”

“I said everything was okay when it wasn’t, shit I was only trying to protect you Fox and I was afraid you’d get hurt.”

“We are meant to be a couple, but I’m no better than you in that respect Alex and I can’t blame you for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Chances are I’d lie to you if I was trying to protect you.”

“Great don’t we make a right pair; look I am sorry though Fox.”

“That’s all good and well, however I still want to know what your protecting me from Alex?”

“Luis.”

“What about Luis?”

“You know that he wants me dead Fox, well he still wants me dead and he plans to do it himself this time.”

“How do you know?”

“He’s followed me and left notes warning me.”

“And you never bothered telling me any of this, shit this isn’t some little while lie Alex. The mans a fuckin psychopath and he wants you dead and you never bothered telling me until now, have you any idea how I’d feel if something happened to you?”

“Calm down Fox.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare tell me to calm down, what you did was beyond stupid.”

“Okay I’ll admit if it shuts you up, I’m a fuckin idiot and I fucked up, there are you happy now Fox…”

“I think you should just go to bed and sleep it off, I can’t be bothered talking to you when you’re like this.”

“Whatever…”

I got up and went into the bedroom slamming the door as I went, everything was so fucked up and I couldn’t see a way out of this mess. It didn’t matter what I said or what I admitted to, Fox was still determined to make my life hell and not drop it. Well fuck him, I couldn’t even be bothered to get undressed and just lay on the bed as I was, maybe I was preparing for a quick getaway should the need arise.

I badly wanted to work things out with Fox, however I wasn’t prepared to let Luis hurt Fox and that meant only one option remained. I knew I’d have to let Fox go, then I’d have to accept whatever Luis chose to do even if it meant dying to protect Fox. Ha not that I could mention any of this to Fox though, he’d be seriously pissed off if he thought I were leaving him and giving in. Slowly my body relaxed and sleep finally came, then I woke to a dark room and Fox whispering something to me.

“Alex wake up babe, there’s someone here who wants to see you and he says it’s important.”

“Who is it Fox, shit it’s the middle of the night?”

“I think you should come and see.”

I got out of bed and followed Fox into the room, there sat on the couch was the Englishman. Well I wasn’t expecting to see him here nor could I understand why he’d want me, especially as he wanted nothing at all to do with me.

“What do you want?”

“I have something I want to show you Alex.”

“Just show me, then you can leave us in peace. I’ve already had enough shit from your little lapdog Luis, actually I’m surprised he didn’t come instead of you.”

“Luis doesn’t work for me, he hasn’t since the whole carry on with the prison and what he did to you. He never wanted to work for me anyway, the man had always preferred Spender and that was why he hated you.”

“The man always hated me regardless of what I did, anyway are you going to show me then?”

“You will have to come to my car, it was a little awkward and I couldn’t bring it up here.”

“Okay you’ll have to wait while I grab my shoes and a jacket.”

I went into the bedroom and grabbed my shoes; I then grabbed my jacket and placed my gun in the pocket. Right now I wouldn’t trust the man as far as I could throw him, and that wasn’t far. I walked back out of the bedroom and was reminded just how much I loved Fox, he was already there with his own coat and shoes on.

“Come on then, you can lead the way.”

“I assure you that I mean you or Agent Mulder no harm.”

“Yeah well maybe I find it hard trusting people who make house calls during the night!”

Soon we were in the lift and going down to the ground floor, then for some reason I started to have a fuckin panic attack. I had images of Luis in my head and how he was out there waiting for me, maybe he followed the Englishman here and was going to end it once and for all.

Fox grabbed my hand and held it tight, while I kept taking deep breaths and knew I had to face whatever was going to happen to me. I couldn’t think of a single reason for the Englishman to be here, so either it was something I knew nothing about or it was a trap to lure me out.

“Alex are you okay babe, come on talk to me.”

“Just give me a minute Fox, I think it’s the alcohol and maybe I did drink too much.”

“I’m not stupid Alex.”

“Fox I know you’re not, you’re the most intelligent man I know.”

“Well just remember I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah I’m lucky to have you, especially as I can be a complete bastard at times.”

“Yeah but your mine Alex.”

Fox kept hold of my hand as we walked out of the building, we then followed the Englishman to his car. So far no one had bothered us or tried to kill me, then the Englishman pulled out his car keys and finally turned to look at me.

“Are you ready to see this Alex?”

“Yeah just open it and show me what the big mystery is.”

The Englishman opened the trunk and suddenly my stomach rebelled, I ended up throwing up and then sitting on the edge of the curb with Fox holding me. I most certainly wasn’t expecting to see Luis’s body in the trunk, it also looked like it was done with one bullet to the back of the head.

“Alex I must go and dispose of this, I just thought you should see it yourself so you would believe he’s dead. Your free Alex and it’s time to move on now.”

“I don’t understand why you did it though.”

“I ordered the hit on Spender; therefore Luis should have come to me if he had a problem. The man was always a wild card and should have been dealt with a long time ago, also I told you that you’d be free after killing Spender.”

“Well whatever your reasons I can’t thank you enough.”

“Just get yourself inside and talk to each other, try and see that something good comes out of this mess.”

This was turning out to be a strange day and night, and to think not long ago I was planning to leave Fox. Now I had everything here that I wanted, I guess it was just a matter of making Fox realize that I still want us to be together.

“Fox will you come to bed with me lover?”

“Are you sure that you want me to sleep in the bedroom with you?”

“Hey who said anything about sleeping, just remember we have months of catching up to do lover and I plan on doing just that.”

“Sounds good to me babe.”

“Well what are you waiting for Fox?”

“Maybe I should call work and take a week off…”

“Yeah I think that might be a good idea Fox, who knows how long we’ll be in bed for.”

“So, you’re ready to move forward Alex?”

“Yeah, me and you against the world Fox.”

We closed the bedroom door behind us and was soon in bed, as we had a past to make up for and months of sex we’d missed out on, and a future to plan.

The End of Black is the Soul

By CarolelaineD


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